Episode 24: The Pulse of the People | Understanding What People Are Really Carrying

What are people really carrying behind the smiles?

In Episode 24 of Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor®, we discuss the emotional, mental, and financial pressures many people face every day and why understanding people is one of the greatest leadership skills we can develop.

From financial stress and family responsibilities to the emotional side of real estate and relationships, this conversation reminds us that people often need understanding more than judgment.

Because what looks like laziness may actually be exhaustion.

What looks like anger may actually be hurt.

And what looks like procrastination may actually be fear.

Join Kirby Harrell as she shares practical insights on leadership, empathy, mindset, and the importance of truly listening to people.

Because behind every face is a story, and behind every story is someone who simply wants to be understood.

Own Your Life… so you can own a Piece of America. 🇺🇸

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to life, Finance and Real Estate. Welcome to how to make smart money moves in the everchanging real estate market, and of course, things going on in life. Hey to talk about the more we do is your homework.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Listen, I want to take this opportunity. As I always say, I want to thank my listeners that have been rocking with me from day one, and to my listeners that are just now tuning in today. Um, before we jump into today's topic, let's talk about last week's show. Last week's show, um, it kind of took a little spin because I thought we were going to talk about, you know, a lot of preachers and and pastor kids kind of have the same story. But Michael Hartgrove from Grenada, Mississippi, made it very clear from the very beginning that his upbringing was not the stereotypical preacher's kid upbringing. He had different experiences, his journey is different, his perspective was different. Um, but what stood out the most to me was his honesty, his honesty. He was very honest about his experience and just life in general, because sometimes we can't um we can't see people through titles. We we feel like they have this certain title, they gotta live a certain way. Pastors, kids, business owners, realtors, teachers, doctors, mothers, fathers, and we assume we know their story. Yep. We look at on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, all these places, and you think you know someone's story, but hey, you're just seeing what's on the surface. Um, but guess what? We don't know the story. We don't know the story, and that's exactly what today's conversation is about, okay? Today's episode is called The Post of the People. Because if you want to lead, help, serve, and minister to people, do business with people, listen, you have to be able to understand people, not just what they're saying, but what they are feeling, not just what they're doing, but what they're caring. Because sometimes what looks like um a person is like not willing to do stuff, they're actually just exhausted. Sometimes um it looks like they're angry. You know how you ever just met somebody and there's it, they didn't want to smile, didn't want to say, I'm I'm quick to kind of be like, oof, they were kind of rude, but you just never know. That person may be dealing with something, they may just be hurt. Sometimes it may be something going on internally, not necessarily you, but just smile, just give a kind word, just be kind, be kind, be kind, show love, even when you feel like it's not being reciprocated. Um, sometimes people may procrastinate or you see that they're procrastinating, and it can be that they're just scared, you know. Fear can paralyze an individual. And listen, when we don't understand the post of people, we spend our lives trying to solve the wrong problem. So let's start with something simple. And um, just want to talk to y'all about it. Sometimes people are just tired. I don't know. People, I just need y'all to understand, it's it's not that they're lazy, it's not that they're unwilling, they're just tired. I need you to think about that. Think about think about a mother working a full-time job, taking care of children, helping with homework, cooking dinner, trying to hold everything together. Think about that father, that father that's out there working multiple jobs, trying to provide um for his family, working two or three jobs at that. And then the prices keep rising, gas prices keep rising, food keep rising, kids are growing up, they're eating more. Um, think about that business owner that's wondering how they're going to cover payroll, how they're gonna cover marketing expenses and taxes and everything else that comes with running a business and trying to keep their employees happy. People are caring a lot, y'all. And if you're listening today, you're probably caring a lot and just hadn't admitted. You know, people see you, they see the outside, they just don't know what you're carrying on the inside. But I want you to know today that you are not alone, you're not alone. Somebody out there listening to me right now, you feel the burden, but just know that you're not alone. Um, a lot of times people tend to judge people without really understanding or even knowing that they're carrying burdens, that they're carrying things. Um, let me give you an example. Have you ever seen someone um that seemed, you know, short-tempered? Maybe they weren't rude, maybe they haven't slept, maybe they're carrying a sick parent, they're dealing with financial stress, they're fighting a battle nobody knows about. And I mean, honestly, y'all, there's so many people battling things such as cancer or dealing with, you know, having to take care of a parent, or, you know, dealing with the death or just grieving. People need understanding. They don't need you to assume. People need understanding, they need grace. I often say that a lot. Just give people grace. You just never know what they're dealing with. Don't judge. Just give them grace because you gotta remember and you have to think about this. You were once there. You were you, if you weren't there, you're gonna be there. You know, give people grace. You're gonna need grace one day. You're gonna need grace one day. Give people grace. So if you see somebody today, tomorrow, later on this weekend that's not smiling or that just looks unhappy, be kind. Give them a smile, give them a good, encouraging word, pray for them. That's number one. Pray for the people. Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. And I'm gonna pray for you. Um, but hey, let's move on to another um topic. Let's talk about finance. Let's talk about finance because money can affect almost every every area of life. Almost every area of life. I know people may argue, but let's talk about it. We're gonna talk about finances, and I, and here's what I hear every day. There are a lot of people that are making money, right? But they still feel they're still stressed out. There's a lot of people earning income, clothing deals, selling this, and you know, creating this, but they're still under a lot of pressure. They don't feel secure. People have jobs, but they don't feel free. And you say, why, Kirby? Why don't why don't people feel free? Let me help y'all. Many people were taught how to earn money. We were taught, hey, finish school, earn money, get a job, earn money. But they were never taught how to manage money. Think about this. How many people you know know the difference between actually saving money and investing money? How many people you know that actually understand the compound world? How many people know where their money goes every single month? How many people have ever actually sat down, calculated how much interest they're actually paying on all the debt they have? See, the post of the people tells me this. Most people don't need income first. They don't need the money first. Most people need to be taught, they need understanding. Because if I give someone some money without knowledge, eventually they'll end up what back in the same position. That's why financial literacy matters. That's why I'm so passionate about making sure you understand finance. And I'm so passionate about making sure my children understand it. Financial literacy matters, ownership matters. Understanding your finances matter because money problems can create a lot of stress. Stress affects relationships, relationships affects family, families affects communities, and everything is connected. I'm gonna say it one more time. Understanding your finances matters because money problems create what? Money problems create stress. Stress affects what relationships. Relationships affect families, families affect communities, all of it's connected, it's a big circle. I've learned in my own life that making money and keep making money are two different skills. Now hear what I said. Making money and keeping money are two different skills. So a lot of people know how to earn money, right? Because we were what? We were taught. We were taught how to get a job, make money. Far few know how to keep the money, and that's one reason I always say I don't just teach you how to earn it, I teach you how to what? Keep it because keeping it requires discipline, planning, patience, and understanding. Okay, do you know how to keep the money? That's the magic question. Do you know how to keep the money? If you've been listening to the show, you know I talk about the award I spend sheet. We've talked about making sure you know where your money is going instead of you trying to figure out where it went. Mm-hmm. Yep. Also understanding how to invest and how to like save, you know, have an emergency fund and how to start small. You don't have to start big. Understand money. Getting an understanding. Understanding is very important when it comes to financing. The post of people. Understand the post of people. The post of people in real estate. We're gonna shift to real estate, okay? Because real estate is never just about houses, it's about life. When somebody calls me about buying a home, they're usually usually experiencing a life event. Um, marriage, I'm getting married, right? Or, you know, they want to sell their home, get a divorce. Even when they want to buy, sometimes they may be wanting to buy their own home. Growing family, job relocation, retirement, loss of a loved one, a new opportunity. The house is simply part of the story. But the person is the real story. For example, a first-time homebuyer may look nervous, right? But it's not because they don't want the house, but because nobody in their family has ever bought one before. Not nobody. They may be breaking a generational curse. Another example, a seller may seem difficult, and it's not because they're trying to be difficult, but because they're emotionally attached to the home. They could have raised their children there. It could have been the home that they purchased for a spouse, you know, that's no longer with them. It could just be a family-owned home where they were raised. Then you may have a buyer that may ask the same question literally 10 times. And it's not because they aren't listening, it's because they're scared of making a mistake and they just need reassurance, you know. So when you understand the post of the people, you stop seeing the transactions and you start seeing people. And when you start seeing people, you serve differently. One thing I've learned as a broker, as a business owner, as a wife, as a mother, and as a leader is people don't always need a motivational speech. You know, they don't need you to give up and give this speech. Sometimes they just need someone willing to sit down, listen, and help them understand their next step. It's not always about you. Sometimes people are not looking for a handout. They're just looking for direction, somebody to pour into them, somebody to talk and lead and guide them. They don't need you to rescue them. They just need you to believe with them that they can do it and give them that encouragement and that boost that they need. Sometimes they simply need someone willing to listen. And that's what good leadership looks like. Not just talking, but listening. Not just assuming, but understanding. Not controlling, but serving. Because when people know you care, they'll listen to what you know. I'm gonna say that one more time. When people know you care, they will listen to what you know. Before we close today, I want to challenge you this week. I want to challenge you this week. I want you to slow down. I want you to listen more. I want you to soon less. Ask more questions, try to understand before trying to be understood. So whether you're talking to your spouse, your children, your clients, your employees, your friends, or even a complete stranger. Remember this everybody is carrying something, and sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone isn't advisor, it's understanding. Let's go a little deeper. When I think about the post of the people, I often ask myself this question What are people really looking for? Because sometimes what people say they want and what they actually and what they're actually looking for are two different things. So people may say they want more money, but often they're really looking for security, right? People say they want a bigger house, but often they're really looking for stability. People say they want a better job. But guess what they live? They want a peace of mind. You know, let's let's talk about this better job thing. Sometimes people say, I want a better job, but if you dig a little deeper, why do you want a better job? I want a better job because I want more money. I want to make more money so I can have peace and be and know that okay, I'm making more money. I don't have to worry about it on anything. I don't have to worry about chicks bouncing. I don't have to worry about not being able to get anything to eat. Or, you know, they they say they want a better job, but the real reason is why. It's because they're looking for a peace of mind. Um, I don't remember if I even said it last week or the week before, but I remember being asked, you know, what's your freedom number? And I I enjoyed talking about it because I didn't understand quite like what it really looked like. Because, hey, what's your freedom number? What number do you need to be free? But I had to ask myself, what does it really mean when someone says, what is your freedom number? And a wise person, or just my one of my mentors, someone, very dear to me, said, Your freedom number is being able to do anything you want. I know that sounds funny, but being able to do anything you want, which means I'm gonna go on this trip and not have to worry about if I have money for it. I can be able to miss work and not have to worry about if I miss work, are my bills gonna be paid. Mm-hmm. That's freedom. That's freedom, freedom to do whatever you want to do. You know, without having a burden or feeling like it's a burden for you. So when people say they want a better job, sometimes I think, oh, they're just looking for a peace of mind. People say they want success, but they're looking for significance. People say they want more followers, right? But they're looking for acceptance. And if we don't understand the real need, we can spend our lives chasing things that never truly satisfies us. So if you're someone that has been dealing with, okay, um, I'm not sure why I'm not satisfied. I got this, I have that, I got this degree, I got that degree, I work this job, I do this, and do that, but you're still not satisfied, there's a reason why. You gotta dig a little deeper. Think about it. Have you ever worked hard for something, you finally achieved it, and then you realize it didn't bring you that fulfillment you thought that it would. That promotion, that title, that car, that house, the business, even the recognition. Think about it. You're listening to me right now, you've been there, and then you're like, man, I still feel empty, I still feel like something missing. Why is it? Because sometimes we're treating the symptoms, you know, we're treating those symptoms instead of addressing the real issue. The post of the people tells me that many people aren't looking for more stuff, they're looking for more purpose, more peace, more direction, more confidence, more hope. And that's why I say ownership starts where? In the mind first, because until you understand who you are, where you're going, no amount of success can fill that void. So here's the question I want every listener to think about today. What are you really looking for? Not what you're buying, not what you're posting, not what I want. I need you to tell me and tell yourself, write it down. What are you truly looking for? What am I truly looking for? Because once you identify the real need, then you can begin to pursue the right solutions. Here's another question I have for you. How often do we okay? How often do we really listen? And I mean really listen, not waiting for your turn to talk and tell your story when you're listening to someone, not while you're preparing your response, while they're talking, not while you're trying to fix everything, but when have you truly just listened? Because people will tell you exactly what they need if you're paying attention. Hear me? Your spouse will tell you exactly what they need if you're paying attention. Your children, your employee, your clients, your friends. But the question is, are we listening? Sometimes a child doesn't need you to lecture them. You know, they're having a conversation with you, they're not looking to be lectured. They're just they just need encouragement. They need somebody to push them and to, you know, motivate them. Sometimes your spouse doesn't need a solution to whatever the issue that they're discussing or talking to you about. They just need a little support. It's gonna be okay. Or I'm I got you, or you know, just need somebody to listen. Sometimes a client don't need you to pressure them, they they need you to educate them per se. You know, dig a little deeper, teach them as if they're your child. Sometimes, if you got employees, they don't need you to criticize them. They may need a little more hand-holding, somebody to coach them, show them the way. Sometimes your friend don't need advice, they just need you to listen. And one thing I've learned over the years, some of my most meaningful conversations in real estate never started with contracts. It all started with me just listening, listening to them talk, and then I begin to see that need and begin to understand them better. Tell me what's going on, tell me what you're concerned about, tell me what's keeping you up at night, tell me what you're hoping to accomplish, what's your goal, what's your timeline? Because one thing I've learned is that when people feel heard, everything changes. The walls come down and you begin to build trust, the relationship begins to grow. People don't care how much you know until they know what how much you care. Sometimes the greatest opportunities in life aren't found in speaking, they're found into listening long enough to understand. What people are really trying to say. Now let's bring this conversation all the way home. What's the pulse of your household? When I say all the way home, I mean home literally. What's the pulse of your household? What's the atmosphere in your household? What's the atmosphere around your dinner table? What's the atmosphere around your finance? What's the atmosphere in your relationships? Because before we can understand what the post of the people, we need to understand the post around home. There's a song that just came to mind that said, sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine. So understand your household. Understand the post of your household. Are people thriving? Are they just surviving? Are goals being discussed? Or are we just drifting? Are we communicating? Or are we simply coexisting? Are we building memories? Or are we just managing schedules? The pulse of your household today will influence the direction of your family tomorrow. So as parents, we have to listen back to our children. Understand our children. Love on our children. Train our children. But most importantly, listen to them. Listen, L-I-S-T-E-N. Listen, as a spouse, we have to listen to each other. As leaders, we have to pay attention to the people we are responsible for. Because what goes unnoticed often grows. And sometimes people don't need you to fix everything. They just need you to know. They just need to know you care enough to notice. And if if I'm honest, if all of us are honest on here, all of us can probably do a better job slowing down and paying attention to the people closest to us. Listen, before we close today, I want to leave you with three questions. Okay. Question number one. What is one thing that someone close to me may carry or may be caring that I haven't taken time to understand? Let me repeat it. Question number one. What is one thing someone close to me may be caring that I haven't taken the time to understand? Number two, what is one financial concern I need to address instead of avoid? I'm gonna repeat it. Number two, what is one financial concern I need to address instead of avoid? And number three, who is one person I can encourage this week? Take a moment and think about those questions because understanding people starts with what? Paying attention. And paying attention starts with slowing down long enough to what to listen. So family, as we wrap up today's conversation, I hope that it has challenged all of us, including myself, to take a deeper, deeper, a deeper look, to listen a little longer, to judge a little less, and to understand a little more. Because behind every face is a story, behind every decision is a struggle. Behind every person is a dream, a fear, a hope, or a challenge that we may never fully see. The post of the people isn't found in social media, it's not found on job titles, it's not found in the bank accounts, the post of the people is found in their hearts, their experiences, their struggles, and their dreams. And we and when we take the time to understand people, we become better leaders, we become better parents, we become better spouse, friends, business owners, neighbors, and ultimately better servants. So this week I challenge you to slow down, listen more, assume less, encourage someone, and remember that everyone is carrying something. I want to thank you for tuning in to another episode of Life, Finance, and Real Estate with the girl Kirby, the realtor. And remember this, I don't just teach you how to get it, I teach you how to earn it, and I teach you how to keep it because ownership starts where? In the mind first. This is your girl, Kirby the Remember. Y'all, I messed up because you know, but anyway, this is your girl, Kirby the Realtor, reminding you to own your life so you can what? Own a piece of America. So listen, until next week, God bless y'all. Stay encouraged, keep moving forward, and we'll see you next time. Bye for now. See you soon.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Thank you for tuning in to Life, Finance, and Real Estate with Kirby the Realtor. You can catch us every Thursday at 12 p.m. on 92.1 WJMG, 93.1 WGDQ. And also, you can listen live at 921 WJMG.com or 931 WGDQ.com. If you happen to miss the live recording, don't fret, we'll replay it at 6 p.m. tonight. Thank you once again for listening to Life, Finance, and Reals.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

I'm gonna put it fast. I'm gonna put it fast.