Check Engine Light and the DJ Booth

This week on Against His Will, a routine Subaru service appointment somehow turns into buying an entirely new car, Ester defends the impulse purchase like a seasoned campaign lawyer, and the conversation spirals into gas prices, Vegas girls’ trips, exhausted grandparents, parenting chaos, and the kind of married arguments that are funny only after you survive them.

Basically: one of those weeks where everything happened at once.

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Transcript

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Hey, welcome to Against His Will. We got No Garden Swords. We were wondering: is this episode 12-13? I think it's a testament to our staying power that we've done enough episodes to forget exactly which episode we're on. That's pretty impressive. Um, all right. I want to start today with something fun. We had a pretty big week last week. A lot of good things, a few bad things, but all semi-newsworthy. On the count of three, I want you to say what you think the biggest story of our week was last week. And I'm gonna do the same thing. I want to see if we say the same thing. Okay, ready? One, two, three. Your mom hitting the garage. Oh, yeah. Okay, you start. Um, so we have a wonderful Subaru that I got in 2020 in Florida, and we shipped it to New York, we shipped it to LA, we drove it to Las Vegas. The check engine light was on, the keys don't ever work, we're always locked out. We've driven the hell out of this thing. We've had it for six years and it has 97,000 miles on it. It's a good car. And it and and so, but it's falling apart. So he said, You had a call or a meeting. Yeah, because you usually do car things. Yes, the check engine light came on. I scheduled a service appointment at Subaru, but then I had a last-minute call that I had to be on. So I just asked, I just asked Esther to drop the car off to get it serviced. And I get a call two hours later that we bought a new car. It was a very fun move because I was just like, okay, so we're when your car is sorta kind of falling apart. I'm I my brain is like, wait, I don't want to spend $700 to get it diagnosed and then some thousands of dollars to get it fixed. I have no idea if there was anything even wrong with it. Men always fear sending a woman to the mechanic for the upcharge of like how much the labor is gonna cost. Now my new fear is the upcharge of a woman being sold an entirely new vehicle. But I feel like I'm on the I feel like I'm I'm I relate to all of America right now, which is I am absolutely fed up with gasoline. Is that am I alone on the island of like the gas has gotten expensive? And to be fair, as we said, the car was getting old, it was up in mileage, it was starting to have issues, and they offered you what we assumed to be an insanely high dollar value for the trader. When you called and told me what they were offering to buy our car to trade in towards buying a new car, I will admit, while I was not necessarily shopping for an entirely new car that morning, I was shocked at what they were willing to give us, and it did feel like a good deal. So I told you to proceed with negotiations. And long story short, you came home with a brand new 2026 fully electric Subaru Trailseeker, which we love. And I did not love it at first. At first, he went, he the first thing we did is he went with our friend visiting Sid. Shout out to Sidney Blumstein, real estate mogul, and they hopped in the car, drove to Taco Bell, and drove back at midnight. And I got a like a quiet, kind of agitated Noah, and I was like, what? And he's like, I wish I was there to pick out the car. It's not big enough. You have to exactly you have to provide proper context. Esther was super excited about this car, it looks great. I was excited about it being an EV. The price was good, everything was good. She made a point of telling me how she made the sales guy push the seat all the way back and kept on. You exaggerated sales guy. She told her she had a shack-sized husband. I am a large man, I am not shack-sized. When it was my turn to finally take my first drive at 11:45 at night to Taco Bell, I got in and it wasn't as big as I was expecting. And also, to be fair, I've been driving a Nissan Pathfinder, which is a huge UV. It's a huge car with tons of leg room, and I sit up really high. So at first sitting, I was like, okay, I can definitely fit, and this is comfortable enough to drive, but this doesn't feel like a car that gives me enough leg room to take like a two, three, four-hour road trip where you know eventually you need to really stretch the legs out as you drive. So I came back from Taco Bell with my friend Sydney, and Esther was waiting for me to be jumping with joy about how much I love driving the electric vehicle. And the first thing I said was, I like it, I love the way it drives. I don't think it's big enough for me. So now this is your car, the Pathfinder is my car. And she kind of got a pit in her stomach realizing that she made this huge decision without me ever being in the car. And I just simply told her, I love the car, you did great. However, next time you buy a car, let's wait until I'm actually there with you to make sure I can truly fit in it. You don't have the patience to sit at a car dealership, period. That's also true. But say all that to say the next day I drove the car again in the morning, not a midnight Taco Bell run, a proper take the kids to school, drive around, run some errands, and I was wrong. Not only is there plenty of room for me to drive, I'm now obsessed with the car. I love the car, I want it to be my car. I can't stop driving it. I love having an electric vehicle. So it drives like a race car, yes, and it doesn't take gas. Like, we don't realize like the anxiety of like we're gonna drive around the whole town. Oh, that that's a fee. There's a fee for everything. So you did great. While you're talking, I realize so many women want tall guys. Like every woman, I want tall, I want tall. Here's can I give a sales pitch to short men or normal size men? Oh, okay. Tall guys, they can't sit in normal plane seats, they're bougie, they're little kings, and they want comfort plus or expensive seats. They will complain about leg room all day. We can't go into a queen size bed. I had to have two c sections. So we his shoes are size 14. They take up the whole house. I love my tall guy. You are going to hate what I'm about to say. I feel like, and I we can delete that. No, no, no, no, no. We can keep it. I think we should edit that out. I think we should edit it out. Here's what you're gonna hate. VTEM. I'm not saying the pain is the same. I'm not, but I feel like me complaining about lack of leg room in a world not built for tall guys is sort of like you complaining about period cramps or pain, where it's like something your body does to you that you can't control. That's not your fault. You get your period. It is not a woman's fault that she's uncomfortable during her period. It is not a tall man's fault that the world was literally not built. Oh no, this isn't your fault in car seats and planes. Right, but I'm saying your pitch for having a short king is that you don't have to listen to the complaints of a tall man who doesn't have enough legs. I'm just trying to say that there are so many women that won't find a match because they don't want to settle for someone who's five seven. And I'm just here to be like, hey, five seven has perks. Or I want to be like, tall guys aren't all it's cut out to be. And they're all saying that, and they're all saying, fuck you, bitch. You're saying that as you sit next to your sweet foot for a tall husband. And that's why. Well, let me tell you something else. Ugly bitches are funny and smart and they make money. We're gonna chop all this is getting edited. I'm vetoing this one. I put my foot in my mouth. I might want parts of it, I might want to keep parts of it. Uh it's going on your Instagram. Well, in related car news, because we had I I wanted to do the exercise where we both said what we thought was the biggest story at the same time. And it's interesting that both of ours were car related. Yours buying the new car, mine, your mother, who we love, who helped us out immensely by babysitting the kids for a weekend, and I will admit and a whole day because I wanted to punch it. Yes, and I will admit being in your 60s, watching two young active children by yourself will make you exhausted to the point of delirium. But your mom came to drop them off, and inexplicably, has never happened before. Instead of driving into the driveway straightforward, she decided she was going to back up and reverse into our driveway for no reason at all like a professional valet. And in doing so, she backed up directly into our not even the garage, the house next to the garage, cracked a stucco, lightly cracked the foundation of the house holding up the garage. And I found that to be the biggest story of the week. And there was about $5,000 worth of damage to her car because it got like the trunk, the bender, the this, the that. I I think that it would be more expensive to fix the actual garage door than the stucco thing of the house. 100%. If she was gonna hit something, I'm actually glad she cracked the stucco because yes, it like rocked the foundation, but there's no structural damage to the house. I'm not worried that the house is gonna fall. If she hit the garage door, that would have been a nightmare. I will say we handled it with a plum. We did not yell at your mom, we did not make her feel bad. As a matter of fact, we went out of our way to say, like, it's okay, we'll talk to the builder, we'll see if we can get them to come replace the stucco. That's like when your kid screws up so bad, you get a little upset and then they start crying. So then you're there being like, I'm so sorry that you threw the baseball at the vase. Oddly enough, not the first time in my life a house has been hit by a car. That's number two. When I was in Atlanta, probably at this point, probably almost 20 years ago, a drunk driver drove into my house in the middle of the night. I was on so much Nike wheel that I slept through it, woke up in the morning, and like a third of my house was just missing. And my neighbor, who was just like an all-American saint, like just a good father and a firefighter. He came out at two in the morning to get all the information of the driver and like the police report. And the next day woke up. When I woke up, he told me everything that went down. Oh my god, I love an all-American papa bear. Love it. Um, so now, as you said, your mom ran into our garage because she was so tired, because she was watching the kids for weekend, because I was working at the comedy cellar every night. Why were you gone? I was gone. I was invited to a pool party. And I've been I've been in Vegas for almost three years. I've wanted to go to a Vegas pool party. I don't want to be part of the crowd. I want a special invitation. You don't want to be in the syphilis water. You don't want to be sitting in the fecal matter lake surrounded by 20-year-olds with UTIs. And I there's there's many versions of a pool party when you're a cute girl. Sometimes you can get invited to a pool party and you go to a table, and there's men there that are in charge of the table and paying, and then a woman is kind of treated like a little sprinkle on top of their table, and that has happened when I was 27. I don't want any of that situation. It has to be a dear friend inviting me to a good situation, which is why it's been three years. So a friend of mine, her sister-in-law is getting married. It's a girls' trip, not a bachelorette party, but she's about to get married. And then even if it's not a bachelorette party, a girl's trip in Vegas is a bachelorette party. It was a bachelorette party. She was in denial. It was a bachelorette party without anyone actually getting married. And the bride happens to be an amazing singer-songwriter, and she works with David Guetta and a bunch of artists. She's an amazing singer-songwriter who is starting to dip her toe into DJing. So she's been under the tutelage of like world-class, like David Getta and Diplo are her mentors in DJing. And it just so happened that both of them were in Vegas this weekend, which is why she arranged the girls' trip to be in Vegas this weekend. And I love being a poppin' on a girls' trip. Like I was just a little sweet treat poppin'. I o they attended 10 things. I've popped into one. So I went to Fountain Blue for the Live Beach Club, which I've never been to. David Ghetto was DJing. I got there, I had to get to the table, and they were like, oh, table four, it's over there. And they like basically pointed to like a sea of wild animals, and I had to get to table four. And I was like, excuse me. And that's when the New York skills came into play. Yeah, but also you had your new boobs that were still. The keys to the city. No, well, so it's funny because the new boobs, on one hand, unlock things where like people were giving you access in a way you had not experienced, but also you still had to be protective of them. So you're fighting your way through a crowd while trying to keep people from bumping your very. I felt like I was in the King Kong, and I was just like, boom, boom, boom. Like you could kind of like move through a crowd really easily. Uh Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong, the video game. I really was like, I'm gonna weave through. We weep, I weave through, I got there, and they're like, they stopped me. 10 security guards are like, you're not getting there. That is the DJ booth. And I'm like, no, I'm supposed to be there. They're like, no. And then I get someone to tap my friend. I was like, the hoops. And they tap some girl with gold hoops. I'm like, no, the other hoops. No, the other hoops. I realized gold hoops eliminates zero people in a situation. Yeah. And then finally tap the girl with the gold hoops at a Vegas pool party. May as well be tap the girl with the tits and the brown hair. Yeah, yeah. Tap the girl with the blonde hair and the big lips. Like, what are you saying? Yeah, yeah. The bikini, the mesh. Um tap the one who's so drunk her eyes are rolling back in her. Yeah, yeah. The one rolling her. Um, so I got the one with Coke jaw. Tap her. I got into the DJ booth. I partied. David Getta was like a couple feet in front of me, and I was like, this is how you're supposed to do a full party in Vegas. I had a great time. I photobombed a couple people. But that was just the first part of your day. You literally left the David Getta in the DJ booth in the DJ booth pool party to go directly to Chelsea Hanler's dinner at the Cosmopolitan. Now, Chelsea Hanler has her show down to a science. She performs at the Chelsea Theater at Cosmo pretty regularly. She has a residency, what? Like every three months in Vegas, you'd say every two months? Every two months. She's got this show in Vegas sold out, like 5,000-person theater, and it's at the Cosmopolitan. Great. Her opener is my best friend from Funny Girls, Yamonika Saunders, who's hilarious. Who introduced us? She's the reason we're married. The speech at our wedding, and she is just a dear friend. So she's like, come to dinner, but there's a lot of people there. I was like, oh, okay. So I didn't want to be late, and I saw there was a lot of traffic and I had to valet because I was like, I'm not gonna be late. Oh, I thought you were gonna say your new tits also worked in just moving through traffic. Even cars respect new boots. Even cars. I did see some books. Cars respect new boobs. They're like, oh yeah, new boobs. And then I put the lashes on my headlights. Um, just so they know I'm a woman. Okay, so we don't need all the minutiae. Unless it's really interesting, spare us the dinner details. Food is amazing. Not interesting. Um, there's a group of drunk women from Whistler, Canada. Slightly interesting. And I met a fun restaurant tour lady named Janet, who we became BFF through the night. We go to the show, everyone's now hammered. There's drugs, there's blah, blah, blah. There's LSD, is now the thing. I like that Chelsea switched from alcohol to drugs. I do respect her for that. Sure. She's a good time. She legit like bossed up, ordered everything, paid for everything. I don't, she just wants everyone to have a good time. She is a motherfucking boss bitch. I love this woman. She's so funny. She treats everyone like gold. She's the most generous person ever. So she paid for everyone's dinner. You all watched her show. She did great afterwards. I was backstage. Afterwards, she gave everyone money to gamble while handing out a coutre Monte Vegas style, and you had a great night. I had a great night. And then I came home and I was like, God, my mom is the best, babysitting and everything. And then the next morning. And I'm like, okay, well, you know what? A little, a little car accident. Hey, you know what's funny? Worth it. The entire time. So I I was working in the cellar, and like that night I was telling the other comics. Can you not like brag about all the fancy things you're doing? Well, I was I was telling the comics about the day you were having, and as I was saying it, it sounded like you were living life, which you were. Like that is an incredible day. By the way, that is not your normal day. So we're not just trying to flex and be like, oh, living in Vegas. I just go to pool parties and Chelsea, Chelsea Handler dinners. But that was the day you had. And even though everything you did was amazing, even though you had an awesome day and an awesome night, all I was thinking was, thank God you didn't ask me to come to any of that. Oh, yeah. It was um a pool party with they would get a DJing, a girls' weekend, or a 20-person dinner and a comedy show, and having a gamble with other people, all sounds like a nightmare for me that I would have wanted no part of. So I'm just so happy that you had that day and also happy that I got to be left alone through all of it. It's funny that you bring this up because you're a man and you do men's stuff, and men talk about I mean men are on podcasts being like, We got shit faced, it was the best. And that's amazing that guys have those nights. But there wasn't a thought of like, should I invite Noah? Like, you I'm not to upset you or offend you, but like your presence was 100% not wanted. If you were to beg me, I'd be like, you guys, my husband wants to come. It would be so weird because both groups have we are 100% on the same page that I didn't want to be there and you guys did not want me there. But just point of clarification your friend who brought you to the pool party was my friend, my best friend from college, who I drove the Taco Bell at midnight. The whole reason this weekend was orchestrated was still because of my friend who became your friend. Yeah, but she became my friend. That's how friends work. Right, but I'm saying that. And also, you weren't invited. She was like, You can't she didn't invite me. No, she said you cannot in the text. The text message literally was- Sorry, Noah, it's a girls' thing. No, she said you are so we can pull up the text. She literally said it's gonna be 10 girls and one gay guy, you're welcome to join. That was the time. I would pull it up right now because it means it's sorry, Noah, it's just for Esther. Oh, that that's what you're saying. She was coded. Like you're saying her saying it's 11 girls and one gay guy is code for fuck off, Noah. I wanna pull up the phone because I legit think it said, sorry, Noah, you are not actually invited to any of this. Absolutely not. I mean, I do want to pull it up at this point. Well, whatever. We'll no, I'm gonna pull it up. We can, I mean, we can, but I'm gonna go. I wanna say when you roll up in Vegas, the first roll-up rollout was 10 girls and a gay guy. That is so amazing. That is the perfect group. The next roll-up was four security guards, Chelsea Hanler, a line of drunk whistler girls, and then me and Yamanika and a couple people. That was a roll-up too, but it was all women and two gay guys. That's how it's done. I would rather be with a token gay than me be the woman with a gaggle of gays. Okay, wait, is there anything else we were talking about that we want to talk about? Well, no, we talked about your booze last week. All right. I can I bring this up so as we're talking about um euphoria finale, it was so good. The theme, a lot of the theme is OnlyFans. Obviously, I've mentioned it here, Esther, for you, and I just want to announce the hard launch of Only Cabs. Um, so Noah has the best calves I've ever seen in my life. He hides them like it's his job. No one's ever seen them, no one knows about them. So it's super secret, and he's not gonna be posting on Instagram. Um, I'm taking control of the situation. So if you know a gay man that's specifically into calves or women or anyone who wants to see the world's greatest calves, you're gonna have to pay. I want no part of this, and any pictures you take will be against my will on Theme for the Pod and secretly stolen while I'm walking around the house. But I will say I did get a wonderful compliment. We went to a birthday party at a trampoline gym, and as I was walking out with my children, and by the way, I wasn't even jumping, I wasn't flexing my muscles, I was literally minding my business walking, and there were two black lesbians that both look like Snoop from the wire, and one of them just goes, Hey bro, what sport you play? And I was like, basketball, why? And she goes, I could tell from your calves. And that was a sign. And that's when Ash was like, That's it, we're doing only calves when black lesbians start stopping you to compliment your calves. It's time for the public to pay. It's gonna be right here at Only Cavs for you. All right, let's see. I think it would be funny to dress it up a little bit. Can we put googly eyes on your calves? Okay, what about like your calves next to the couch? Here's the deal next to the EV. I want to make enough money doing only calves for you to convince you to let me stop doing this podcast. Okay, so a hundred thousand dollars, that's the pool. What if we make enough money to put in a pool for my calves? It's the end of Against His Will the Pod. I like that we have goals. Okay, and just to put it out there, at Only Cavs was taken, at only calves one was taken, and I started to go down. And all the numbers and they're all taken. That alone should let you know the calves market is oversaturated. Nope. That alone tells you that the calves market is alive and well. You think that people like burgers? There are burger places everywhere. Not because no one wants them, because everyone wants one. That was a good sales pitch. Vegas news. There is news. There is news. Hold on. There's a new Vanderpump Hotel. Vegas kidnappings are up 40%. Disneyland is coming to Vegas. Okay, that's news. Wait, what do you mean Disneyland is coming to Vegas? No, no, no. Don't play it. The Walt Disney Company has just announced its plans to build a new theme park in Las Vegas. No way. The proposed site for the new park is located off Blue Diamond in Fort Apache. Expect opening date December 2028. Wait, like they're building a proper Disneyland, or they're just doing like a Vegas theme park that's going to be under the Disney umbrella. It says the next magical venture. Wow. You know what? That's amazing because Vegas doesn't have an amusement park. Like the strip, New York, New York has a roller coaster, but there is not an amusement park, and there is a huge need for one. So this week in Vegas, that's legitimate news. Out of all the weeks we've done, this is the first time where my eyebrows are actually raised. And Disney is coming to Vegas with a theme park. I guess so. I don't even know. What a family town this city is becoming. And with every passing event like that, the NBA coming, a theme park coming, all I smell is dollar signs on the value of our property. One more news story about Las Vegas. Uh Hooter's waitress in Las Vegas was arrested after pouring beer on a no-tip customer. I support that. Arrested? Arrested? To be clear, I don't support the arrest. I support her pouring beer on a no-tip customer only because it's Hooters. There's a certain level of objectification that's unfortunately understood or expected when someone comes to Hooters. So if you're a waitress already kind of agreeing to the social contract of having a man ogle you, the least they can do is tip you. Yeah. So maybe that's the that's the news. I will say, yeah. The the the Vegas, June is bachelor, bachelorette pars party season. June really feels like the season. Like in New York, Herald Square, Christmas, that's a season of Christmas. June in Vegas is the season of bachelor-bachelorette parties. I I don't know whether to avoid or not avoid, but July and August is kind of the season to dip. July is too hot. It's like literally too hot for human beings to exist anywhere outside of indoors. So we're headed to the cold, cold, cool place called Florida to escape the heat, which makes no sense. Here's a question: Are we going to podcast from Florida or are we taking a sabbatical? Absolutely. We can use the. Are you going to do podcasts from your mother's house? From my sister's podcast studio. Oh, that's right. She does. Shout out your sister's podcast in case. Yeah, we could actually do a collab. Sure. Um, all right. Well, I guess I don't get a couple Against his mystical pirates. I guess I don't get a summer break from this. Against his pirates. All right, that's it. Just take a picture of my calves. Let's get this from that's so funny. Uh jokeyard, what you got? Or do you want me to kick it off? Um, hold on. Give me three seconds. I've I feel less prepared for everything because of my boobs. See, it's already happening. You're just being you're just becoming a less prepared. I don't have to. I am I care less than. You're not putting in the work anymore. You're expecting society to roll out the red carpet for big new boobs. Well, that's my new bit is like girls are unhappy with like the bags under their eyes. Just get a boob job. Did we already do this? Yeah, probably. Shocking. You repeated a joke. In building up new material, I find it daunting to try to go like one small joke at a time. So I've been thinking about like what are some stories I can work out that A will eat up five to seven minute chunks, and B will naturally force myself to punch up a story as opposed to writing a quick joke. And so, in my old notepad of just like stories of funny experiences I had that I've never written about, I had one where when I was a sophomore in college, me and all my frat brothers were extras in a bone crusher video shoot. Scooter Braun was our frat brother. He was in Sigma New at Emery, and at the time he was working with So So Deaf, Jermaine Dupree, and Bone Crusher. And Bone Crusher had a song with the Yin Yang twins called Take Your Clothes Off, where the whole theme of the video was supposed to be anima animal house style, like a frat party. Yeah, I love that concept. And so they told us we were coming in to be like the wild frat boys, but when we got there, we were very much just like the little annoying white kids on the set of a video rap shoot. And there was something funny about how there's such a stereotype of like when white people see a black person standing outside of Let, they assume they're the valet and they'll toss them the keys, or like a white person sees a black person working in a store and they assume they're the employee. It was such reverse racism where once we were there, even though we were there to be in the video, all the black people that were on set thought that we were like the valet, the grips, the craft services, the gribs, the interns. So none of them believed we were there to be in the video. They all thought we were there to be running like the bitch errands, as like the little white kids who were hoping to work for Jimmy Dupree. So I don't know. I mean, that in general was a funny experience that I think is rife for like examining and writing from what the actual video shoot was to our experience being there. They also wanted us to be drunk frat boys in the video. That's the funny part. Well, so they wanted us to be drunk frat boys in the video. So what they did is they told us to get there at like noon and just gave us cases of beer and had us drinking. Actually drunk. However, as anyone who's ever done any kind of shooting knows, it takes forever. So like they were like, Yeah, get there at noon. They got us all drunk, and we didn't start shooting our part until like eight o'clock at night. And so we were just like sitting in a dirt lot drinking beer, being bossed around by black people who didn't respect us at all for hours, ultimately to like have one scene where instead of being drunk at that point, we were like exhausted and hungover. Annoyed. Oh my god. Well and the funniest part, my friend Ashish, there was one person who had to be the so-so deaf mascot, which was the Afro man. So it's essentially like a mascot costume. So he spent all day hanging out on this video shoot to hopefully like be seen in this video, and ultimately had to wear a mascot head that you couldn't even see it was him. Um, what's funny is that everyone got something they didn't want in this. So the concept is Atlanta rappers want this animal house drunken frat party. So they go to Emery, which is a bunch of private school dorky Jewish kids being. Yeah, we still partied. We still they partied, but it wasn't. We weren't like state school U GAU. I think this could have gone better in Athens, Georgia. Sure. Um, but that's the funny part of the world. Now that you say it, they did want wild frat boys and they did get rich dorky Jews. They got rich dorky juice. They're like, here, put on a freaking costume. That's actually funny to include in the story. Okay, that's a funny part. They didn't get what they wanted, so they expected like sunburnt, backwards tag, muscly dimbos. And we wanted to be the stars of the video. We thought we were rolling up there like, here's Mr. Bone Crusher, and now it's your time to shine, drink and party, and we were very much treated like shitty drunk interns. Yes, and then you guys were like, oh my god, rappers, we're gonna get drunk with them. We're gonna be on a video, there's gonna be chicks, and instead, what you guys got was black people reverse racing racism, meaning you, to be like, uh, did did you did I signed the waiver and gave it to you, right? And they're like, I didn't give you a fucking. So the jokes aren't there yet, but you do acknowledge it's a funny story that I should be working on. Like that's it's you've entered a situation and no one's happy about it, it's a blind date where she thought you were this way, he thought you were that. No one got what they want. That's something I wasn't even thinking about. No one got what they wanted out of the experience. Yes, but you do it so that you're sitting here 20 years later saying I was once hung over at 8 p.m. and had to be a drunk guy. If you YouTube, Bone Crusher, Yin Ying Twins, take your clothes off. Is the mascot there? The mascot's there, and for like half a second in frame, you can see me jumping up and dancing during the frat party scene. Like, I love that. That's a very funny story. If you also include Nobody got what they want. Yeah. Okay. Nobody, nobody got what they want. No, top that. And I was just gonna say, this is the one-liner, which is why stories are better. Um, some people have gender disappointment. It's when you have a gender and you wish it was something else. I actually wished I had a daughter for my second child, and I ended up getting a son, and that's okay, because I'm going to treat that son exactly how I would have raised my daughter. Make comments about his body until he develops a debilitating eating disorder. So that's not a joke you're working on. That's just an old joke you wrote one time that you never do on stage. That's what jokeyard is. No, jokeyard, at least from my understanding, was old jokes that either you're still working out or premises that you have from the past that you're digging up to try to make work. You can't just take a joke, a fully formed joke that you wrote, maybe tried once or twice, never did that well, and now you're just That feels like what jokeyard is like I've retired this horrible joke. Oh, okay, so you re-unearth it. Wonderful. So you don't want any advice. You're just saying you're retired. So are you officially retiring that joke? Because for the record, I hate that joke. There we go. Not because I don't think it's I I just I mean, I think you are wonderfully funny. You know that I think you're hilarious. Can't stand that joke. Once again, nobody got what they wanted. And that's where the comedy lives. Tune in from Florida. Uh and quick shout out if anyone wants to babysit our fish. Oh, yeah. Email us against his willpod at gmail.com. Don't make me flush them down the toilet. We were gonna fry them. Ugh, god forbid. Come on, cheese. I mean, we eat fish. Not those fish. If anything, I would give them back. Alright, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Goodbye. And the walkout. Oh. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch your calves flex.