Unhinged: Fantasies, Felons, & Bad Decisions

We catch up on the mess of modern dating, from love bombing and missing social media clues to the moment you realize someone’s “schedule” might not be normal. Then we get real about clean versus dirty turn-ons, how fantasies work, and why the best sex happens when it feels safe and unforced. 
• hitting 100 downloads and celebrating with wine 
• Scarlett’s week update and the A plus man letdown 
• love bombing on dating apps and sudden ghosting 
• spotting prison texting style red flags and blocking fast 
• reopening the X Files by texting exes for a confidence boost 
• Ivy’s travel delay, concert night, and bonding moments 
• awkward intimacy that turns into emotional safety and better sex 
• a friend’s Egypt marriage surprise and the fallout at home 
• clean turn-ons like effort, attention, and intelligence 
• dirty turn-ons like dirty talk, PDA, and being grabbed 
• deep dark fantasies, boundaries, and curiosity about sex clubs 
• why kissing, breath, and neck kisses matter more than people admit 
Please email nothing untouched pod at gmail.com and we will check them out. Listed in the show notes. You know what? The biggest compliment that you could ever give us is a like. A like, a like, a review, a five-star. How about five? Give me fucking five, bitches. Share us with your, you know, your friends, your family, whoever you think that would even not like us.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hey besties, you're listening to Nothing Untouched, the podcast where we overshare, laugh a lot, and talk dating, hookups, and heartbreak. And all the messy moments in between. Hi, I'm Ivy Nohr. And I'm Scarlett May. Buckle up, besties. Nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Hey besties. Welcome to another amazing episode. Thank you so much for tuning in, Scarlet.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Welcome back, guys. We missed you. We missed you a lot, actually, besties. Yeah. Like we appreciate you so much.

Scarlett’s Week And A Plus Man

SPEAKER_01 0:46

We fucking missed you. We missed you so so much. Exciting news. Uh, we reached 100 downloads, so that's a huge accomplishment. So shout out. Oh well, we didn't get any. Oh sticking with the wine. No champagne today. We got some, but we do have some flora and stone on the table. Yeah. Not champagne, but it is wine. So it's red wine and it's delicious. That's amazing. I like it. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, shout out flora and stone. So we're gonna start with you, Scarlet, and seeing how your week was and go from there. All right. We're dying to know. Did you get laid by A plus man? No. What?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

I know. It was there's a technicality in that. Okay, what's the technicality?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

You can't just like breeze over that. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Uh, it was uh just didn't work out technicality-wise. Oh, well, fuck you, A plus man. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

No more papers for you, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Oh, oh God. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I knew it. I knew it was coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

I've already done an essay. You know, you know what? I think I'm gonna have to be done because this one. Well, for one, I haven't been laid. Second of all, um, I literally did not enjoy this one. Okay. Because you know what? I had to like research. Oh my god, you had to research Brian? Yeah, because I didn't know the answers. And I was like, well, the Shaw Shank thing was fucking easy because I've seen that movie a million times. So that that that flowed out of me. Okay. But the fucking essay about uh different law enforcement, I'm like, fuck off, I don't know. So I would have enjoyed that paper. You would have? Okay, but you had to like look up a lot of stuff, yeah. And then you had to like document that it was a lot.

Tinder Love Bombing And Disappearing Acts

SPEAKER_01 2:37

But see, here's the thing though. I um you already know this. I would never in a million fucking years write a paper for anybody. So there's that. I don't even barely write a paper for mom. Fucking yeah, I know. Okay, so so no no lay by the A, but did you seek out your D this weekend? Did I seek out FaceTime guy? No, oh, yes, let's go back to that.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Besties.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

So remember, yeah, yep. So Scarlett had um the last episode, um, it was eight, yeah, episode eight. Uh so Scarlett was talking about this guy that she had just met on Tinder. Yep, you Tinder. No, just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

And then I was kind of nervous because he kept talking about like how beautiful I'm how beautiful, yeah, like like love bombing. Like over the top. I'm like, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, let's not. I might be like a six and a half, seven. Okay, calm down. I mean, relax over there, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Okay. Well, no, you and I united, yes. You and I absolutely and we determined that the picture he sent us was fucking his wife or some friend.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

It was too close. Close for comfort, and with the animal being up with them, it was just it was too much. It was too much for a brother sister type. It was, and I agree.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Guess what? I never heard from him. Huh. Surprise. Another one bites the dust. And another one does, and another one. Another one's down. I mean, here's a serious question, and I hope we get some response on this. Yeah. How do you know the guy you're talking to is not in fucking prison?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Oh my god.

The Prison Texting Red Flags

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Okay, so I'm I I feel like I should probably be a detective. Because I I I feel these things. I know what I'm doing. Kind of. I've been, I'm through it. So I determined that this last weekend was going to be my find a fucking date just so you're fucking out there. Okay. Get get a date. Just something, yeah. Just something. Just so you're not like fucking stale, like I'm what I am. And I was like, just get, just find somebody you can at least go on a date with. At least have something connection. Yeah. Not even a connection. Just fucking like yeah, just so even connection. Yeah, just so I feel like I'm doing something about my dating life. Yeah. You know? Absolutely. So I decided, so I had a lot going on. There was a lot of uh Tenderwork, a lot of Facebook. Oh my gosh. She was work, work, work, work, work. I literally put in a full-time job. Okay. Okay. Over the weekend, yes. And so all right. So the guy that I'm referring to got creepier and creepier because he didn't have any social media. Okay. Okay. So hold on.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

This is not FaceTime guy that we were talking about in last episode. This is a different guy.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

This is completely different guy. Good. FaceTime guy, not uh, nothing happened. We didn't even FaceTime, nothing. He gone, he gone. Get out of there. Well, he was. He was getting out of there. Anyway, uh, so he, this guy. So here's all the clues. I I'm gonna break them down because I'm gonna all right. First of all, he was super perverted from the start. And I'm like, God, what is with men? And these fucking perverted comments. Can she be like, I don't know. Anyway, talk about anything normal. I don't know. I'm just like, wait a minute, okay, like yeah, I guess my I'm wet right now. God, I'm like, all we said was hello. You wet, bitch?

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah, yep. The hello did it in for me. Fucking soaked.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

How did you know? Fucking soaked. Okay, let's go from there. I mean, I'm like, no, I'm fucking not.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

I'm dry as a fucking Sahari desert right now.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Okay, because this is not a turn on. So it just got weirder from there. He like then proceeded to like over the top. And then I was kind of like, okay, I was getting uncomfortable because I, you know, I changed the subject. I'm like, okay, I only I don't mind talking fucking dirty. It's just not right off the get-go. My gosh. Who I am, what I'm about. I mean, nope, he didn't care.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

He wanted to know if you were wet.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

He wanted to know how drenched my fucking underwear were. I'll send them to you for$50.$50 make you high. Well, that's the prison thing. Oh, here we go. Okay. Do we have a new biz coming in? Uh yeah, we might be starting a new business. Let's go. Sales to prisoners. So I've got a connection now. Yeah. So I'm ready to quit my full-time job already. I can fucking wet those underwear. I'm getting wet just thinking about it, to be honest. So okay, so here's the other thing. Okay, well, not that's just a normal guy, like, but he was consistent on it. Okay. Okay. And then the comments of this was these comments kept coming up. Like, and I just didn't even respond because I was like, what the fuck? Okay, but what like what kind of comment? Let me tell you. Yeah. He literally would be cut, he go, I go, What do you what have you been doing? I went out to eat with my parents, and I was like, didn't say anything. And he's like, I had to come home and change my boxers. I'm sorry, what?

SPEAKER_01 8:14

What just happened?

SPEAKER_02 8:16

That's why I've been like, um, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Did you shit yourself? Like, I know.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

I was like, I'm not even gonna respond to that because that's fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yeah, I'm like, where are we going with that, my guy?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Oh, you know where he's going. He's like wanting me to talk about like, oh, you got you got hard or something.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I mean, I yeah. Oh god. Okay, so I'm so sorry, I'm slow on this. So he was saying that he was out with his parents eating pizza, not pizza. I asked him if all the food was. Okay, sorry, I don't know where I got pizza from.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Because I'm a normal human being. Well, was it good? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

And so, and supposedly he was out with his parents having this meal or whatever, and he was corresponding with you. And because of the correspondence with you, he had to come back and change his boxers. Did I get that right?

SPEAKER_02 9:01

That's basically what he was in. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

I gotcha. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

So I'm like, Wow, fucking, I'm gonna bullshit, dude. Anyway, what are you 12? So then uh he like had a set time he could talk to me. Ah, we're getting there right. Okay, and um, so I look back at his pictures and I'm like, he's fucking hot, but his they were pretty uh, I don't know, maybe cell-like. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

I cannot wait to see these. They probably were not cell-like, I just basically had the prison bars behind. He was in fucking full-fledged orange jumpsuit, and Scarlet's like, I don't know, maybe he is. I don't know. He has a Halloween decor background, and I don't know, he was in costume at the time. I'll bite. Doesn't matter. So when are we gonna meet? Do you have a paper that I can write for you? Just so you know, I am older, so my pH levels are up, elevated and wonderful. I got it all going on for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah, yeah, basically, that's what happened. So wow, I know. So then I added up all the clues that I was put piecing things together. I'm like, hmm, how do you know when somebody's actually getting texting from prison? Because he just wouldn't like, I go, Well, you're making me uncomfortable, lose my number. Okay, and I didn't block right away because I wanted to see his response. Oh my gosh. Okay, so he literally was like, No, please, no, I really like you, no, and like 20 texts. Okay, I was like blocked. Wow, okay, that dude's blocked. Yeah, I do, I do have my limits.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Okay, okay, so blocked. So I am curious though, what were the hours that he could only talk to you? I'm curious about that.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Um, it seemed like after dinner hours, like 6 30 to 7 30. Okay. Cause he made it sound like he's like, I gotta go wash my truck, so I'll talk to you on the way. And I was like, Oh, okay. I was like, Well, I can't right now.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

I I was like, no, I don't can't right now. But how imaginary. I mean, he's got a really good imagination. I'm putting quotes around that.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Like, yeah, I'm washing my F4 F15. Okay, so he was putting it on thick, and then, you know, even thicker when he's like, um, then he wanted to like slap stuff, and I was like, What's he slapping? Uh me, I guess. Oh my god. I'm just like, okay, bye.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

I this dude Darwin's like, well, maybe. I don't know. Hold on, let me think about it.

Texting Exes And Needing Attention

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Bye. Bye. No, blocked, blocked, to never be heard from again. Okay. Thank God. Because it was fucking awkward. Okay. It was getting awkward. So is there anything else? Yeah, there is. So I opened up the X Files this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. I already know where this is going.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Yeah. Well, I didn't get I didn't fuck anybody or anything. But I and so I text them all. Not a group chat. She's a group channel. Hey Bestie. What's up? It'd be X Bestie. Uh no, I didn't do a group chat or anything. I just kind of like just reach out. All of them responded, which I would kind of was surprised by two of them. Yeah, I was. I was really surprised because I was like, oh, but that I didn't think that ended well. And no, the other one seriously didn't end well. Um on his part. And I and then the other one, of course, he's been in my life since we broke up because he's amazing and he's wonderful and he cares. Okay. Just a nice person. Okay. Uh, we can talk about him another time. Absolutely. Uh, but basically, the what I wanted to do is basically tell him about the pot. Yeah. And I got some really great response from two of them. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Like they listened to it and then they like came back. Shut up. Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Let's hear it. Yeah. So they listened. They uh one of them said, You guys are so funny. And one of them we know.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

I know. And I was like, perfect. Yeah. You knew I was funny when I was dating you. Fuck off. Yeah. Well, anyway, uh, yeah, no, they said great things, and um, so I was like, Oh, well, that's really sweet. I love that. So that's I'll close them up. I'll close them up. But I just needed it for the weekend because I was a fucking lame ass, and all I literally wanted to do on Tinder or Facebook or whatever the dating site was just find a decent human being to go on a date with. Yeah. Just so I didn't feel like a complete loser all the time.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

But in retrospect, though, you did find prisoners. You opened the Xbox up. You found prisoners, our new side hustle. We're gonna start a Rolodex.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Our new side hustle is selling our fucking wet panties. Absolutely. Hey, listen, I will unlock in for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

I'm gonna let's let's we'll talk later. We'll talk after the butt.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Um, okay, well, that's a lot to unpack.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Yeah, it was a lot. I mean, even though I didn't do shit this weekend, I just focused on but you did, but you didn't, right?

Ivy’s Travel Chaos And Concert Night

SPEAKER_01 14:28

So, I mean, yeah, regardless. Yeah, okay. Well, so uh Ivy, how was your week? What'd you do? I had an interesting week. Um so the friend that was in Egypt. Yeah, let's unpack that. Let's unpack that. That's the big one I needed to unpack first. Um, so she I was gonna be in the same area that she was gonna be in. I'm trying to think of my timeline right now, but anyways, like so long story short, I was to leave on Thursday on my train to go to this destination that she was flying into. Okay. Um, from Egypt. So you guys were gonna meet up or initially, yeah. We I really wanted to meet up with her to see like how she was doing. Number number one for four, like that was just my how are you? Like, this is it's a lot. Like you were you just spent a week and a half in another country with a man.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Most definitely.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

And I wanted to know how it went and how she was doing and stuff like that. So that's that was my number one like worries and why I wanted to meet up with her in this other place that we were gonna be in at the same time, just coincidentally enough. Um, it didn't work out that way. My train was delayed over 10 hours. Um I know that's fucking nice to me. 10 hours is a long fucking it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

That's why I'm like, man, can you imagine the people like on the train that whole time?

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Oh. And the train was uh does that and it smelled so bad. And I'm like, oh god.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Oh, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Like so when we got there, uh, we obviously clonked out, got up at 9 a.m. on that Friday. Um we went to um a little cute little um nook uh for breakfast. I sent you the pictures. It was really cute. I was like, take me there now. It looked delicious. Had an Irish coffee, you know. Um, and that was around noon. Fuck. I mean, we didn't, yeah, we didn't actually because I didn't want her, I wanted her to be well rested and not have an attitude. So I was like, rest, beast, rest.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Um the beast, and I'll deal with myself later.

When Sex Feels Forced Then Turns Sweet

SPEAKER_01 16:28

So yeah, we went back, we um got ready for our uh concert. Night out, a little night out on the town. We had a good time, really good bonding moments with her for sure. I mean, just all around, just a really, really good time. No, that's kind of like fast or rewind a little bit so that Wednesday, too. So I didn't even bring this up. Wednesday was the night with a boyfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like I knew it didn't have to be somewhere like super early on on Thursday, but like I was also like, I still need to get some sleep. Sure. Well, I mean, the boyfriend still ravishes me and makes me sleep and then ravishes me, you know, not makes me sleep, but then I go to sleep and comes back. And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay. No, but it was it was good times, and I will say though, like this time around, for whatever reason, it was kind of a little off at first, and I don't know why it was. We had even talked about this. Yeah, even yeah, like between the connection, wasn't like it it wasn't even the connection. We had an amazing connection, it was the mood. Because like when we walked into his his place, like I it wasn't like the week before. Let's just say oh, it wasn't. It wasn't okay. Um, so we went to bed. She did not have to ice salt nour bath or salt bath, whatever, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Something happening this time around.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

We went to bed and like we were, I just was in a giggly mood and just like a joking mood. And I just want to joke around and I love these moods, these are fun, yeah, exactly. Um, and I so I think that we were like trying to like say, okay, well, this is our one time from a week from now for us to get it in. Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Like both of us get every hole, every which way, whatever.

unknown 18:11

I'm just getting it.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Well, it's true. Okay. No, so we started talking, and he's like, This is weird foreplay. And I'm like, well, whatever. So what was the weird foreplay? Just like us as being weird together. Just like the kissing was off. We no, the kissing was fine. We didn't really kiss like during this time. We're just laying in bed, and we were just kind of like you're both like being funny and like being weird together. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

You know, so I was thinking like this. You're both looking at each other like, I we probably should fuck. But that was definitely we're having a good time talking. Yes. Should we add the fucking? Yeah. That's what that's exactly that's exactly what it was. I I can call it because I've been there.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

I'm just like, well, yeah, so that's that's exactly what it was, what Scarlett just said. But then, like, I don't know, like it it it it happened and like we both weren't into it. Okay, it was the first time like ever, uh-huh, right? Yeah, and so we were like, we kind of like jumped off. I was like, okay, that was great. Nobody came. Yeah, nobody came. Okay. And so then I was like, I don't, and he's like, it never should be forced. And like he started talking to me about that stuff. And I was like, absolutely, like, I'm not gonna fucking fake it. No, but if I'm like feeling like if you start kissing me and I start kissing you, and then we start feeling it together, then like, yeah, absolutely. Let's try it, let's see what happens, right? Yeah, um, and in the end, I'm telling you right now, Scarlett, like it just ended up being such a beautiful moment. So it was weird, it was it started off weird. Okay, the middle of it was even a little bit weirder, but then like, yeah, so he's like, you know, I just don't ever want to make you feel like anything's forced. And I'm like, well, same. No, or scheduled, or he's like, he wants it to be organic, and I get that, like me too. But like, well, like we're also on a schedule this week, bud.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

So I got a lot going on, but like the weekend before that you had talked about, that was all fucking just organic, organic happened and it was hot, but then this week you guys are getting along personality-wise, that's fucking amazing connection as well. Oh, absolutely, yeah, not just uh a D and a a V.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah, well, the D and the V though are great things, right? Like, it was of course, yeah. I don't want to go without that, and a week, like, anyways, so look who you're talking to, right? I know, poor little Scarlet over there. It's been two months, it's been three weeks been the Oregon Trail days. Oh my gosh, yeah, I think I know what you're talking about right there. But, anyways, so long story short, like it was awkward, and it wasn't even awkward. I can't even say that. I get what you're saying. I described it earlier, yeah. It was off in the beginning. We talked about it in the middle, and like he just made me like he like I needed to hear this from him. You know, he said, you know, you're safe with me. Um, just all like the the heart melting things, and I'm so sorry. I don't remember exactly everything that he had said at that point in time, but like doesn't matter. He made me feel seen and like he made me feel like I wasn't just there for his pleasure or vice versa. Oh yeah, and so which I already knew. Yeah, you knew that.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

I knew that, but like laughing and all that. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

But like, and then he made me cry, but like a good cry, like you know what I mean? And I was I was like, oh my gosh, and then he started tearing up, and I'm like, what is happening right now? Who are you dating? Crybaby, crybaby boy thing. I'm just joking. Um the emotion that was out there, you know, and it was just that it was just that that raw fucking emotion that was just so beautiful. And we after that, we fucked and I came like that. There you have it, and then yeah, so. Then he kept coming back for more. Yeah. So, anyways, it ended on a good note, regardless, like both ways, like emotionally, physically, mentally, like all the things, they were just, they were hitting that night. And so it was really, it was a really cool experience for both of us. I I think we both needed that.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

So well, yeah. You kind of had to make it's been it's been a week. Yeah. You had to make that reconnection. Yeah. Absolutely. So I mean, I'll go like weeks without some. Okay. So is that all you had to unload? I think we're going to be able to do that. Oh no.

Egypt Marriage Bombshell And Friend Drama

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Uh let's talk real quick about the Egypt. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So uh she comes back from Egypt. Um, and so we uh coincidentally end up on the same train. She missed her train coming back home on the 27th. So we're actually in the place that we're supposed to be on the 27th. My daughter and I, though, have an event to go to. Um, so she's up in a hotel somewhere, and so she's like, I missed my train. I'm like, sucks to be you. I said, you better try to get on the next earliest train. I said, ours leaves at blah, blah, blah. Funnily enough, we are actually on the exact same train. So you got to catch up on the way home. Absolutely. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

That's like meant to be. Oh, 100%. And I even told her that I said, I know that you were upset for missing your train, you know, the day prior. I said, but everything happens as cliche as that is.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Yeah, oh, I always say it.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Everything excuse me, but I was just thinking about it. Like everything truly happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

You guys were meant to be, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

We couldn't get together when we wanted to get together in that same area for whatever reason. Whatever something was holding us back. We finally got to do it on, you know, the day coming home. Um, and so yeah, we caught up. I found out that she's fucking married to this fucking guy. Oh shit. Yep. She married him.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Well, it's not fucking legal in the States. No, because it doesn't transfer. It doesn't transfer. Thankfully. So be be married in Egypt, I guess. Whatever makes her happy.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

But she's not through the now, if it was through the embassy, it might translate. I don't know that. But it's not through the embassy, it's through a lawyer.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

I mean I love you, girl, but I mean, that's just fucking tying yourself to I'm just there for her right now.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

She's obviously, we all know that she's she even said it, you know, she's going through something. She needed this, and I agree with her 100%.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

So do like the rest of us, fucking hate men. Don't fucking marry him. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Don't go from one to the next and enjoy, enjoy your singleton.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

And just get on Tinder over and over again and re refresh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

No, she's happy than I'm happy for her. Sure. Um, I don't like the way that she went about it by any means, and she knows that, and it is what it is, and it's her bed, she has to lay in it. I wanted her by myself and her just to number one, let her relish in those moments and not have scrutiny immediately when she came back home, right? Because I think that's important. That's actually really honorable. What she did is not honorable.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

No, but but you being a good friend when she returned is a very fucking honorable absolutely, and I'll always be there. And you're in that friend. You probably had to fucking glue your fucking mouth shut because if it were me, I would be so fucking vulgar. And I was I talked to it. And I tried so hard, but I'd be like, and I taught big game.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Um, you know, I was like, oh, I'm gonna let her have it, I'm gonna say this, that, and the other. But in the end, at the end of the day, it's her life. Exactly. It's not my life, yeah, it's her life. Yeah, um, I just want the best for her. And I want the best for her. And I just I I love her unconditionally, I mean, truly unconditionally, most definitely, honey. And she has shown me the same grace in so many different for instances. So, I mean, I I had to show her the same grace, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

And you did a great friend move there as we talked about friendships last episode. We talked about friendships, and she was your number one.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

So I I think that you did the best. Uh honestly, you did amazing because I give you a lot of props. I couldn't have fucking shut my mouth up over it.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

It was it was not easy, but again, it was seeing her like that. I've never seen her like that. I've never seen her exactly. I've never seen her so happy. And I could tell that she was like holding back and she was apprehensive.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

She was trying to not say what she really wanted to say because yeah, I get it. And I get that.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah, and so then I'm laying on the couch, and this is like 11 o'clock, and I'm finally going to sleep. I'm exhausted. I am just beat. Um, and I get a phone call, and it's her. Then she calls a second time, and I'm like, okay, I'll answer. I answer it.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

What up, bitch? Yeah, what do you want? What up, married whore? What are you doing? You want, you little fucking slatscape. Is Egypt calling?

SPEAKER_01 26:53

So I said, what? Hello? And she said, and you could tell she's been crying, and she's like, Can you come get me? And I'm like, I'm on my way. But I literally was on, I was dead on like you know, when you're done on the couch, you get a phone call. Oh girl, it takes you a hot, it takes me a hundred minutes. At that moment, okay, yeah, I'm coming.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

I mean, I am I get vested in wine and reality TV. You can't get me off the couch or nothing. I'm like, is there a fire in the other room? Yeah, you better get out. I'm like, no, wait a few minutes.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Yeah, find something better out here. No. Um, so I woke up and I was like, oh shit, I gotta actually, you know, do something. Get my shit together. Get my shit together. So I wake up and I go to the bathroom, like, oh my gosh. And so I finally like get my stuff together. Sitting on the can and she's thinking about things, life. Do I really want to do this? Like, there we go. She's been there for you. So here you go. So the toilet says everything. I was younger though, mind you, but it's okay. She was there for me nonetheless. So I get in my car, I'm about halfway between her house and her mom's house, and I know I shit you not. I get a fucking phone call from her mom. Oh shit. And I'm like, shit's happening. Yes. She's like, and she's hysterical. She's crying. And I'm like, why is everybody shouting? Number one. Yeah. We don't just I just woke up. I'm I was dead to the world. Everybody's shouting right now. Could we just not do that? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

I had slobber on it and everything. I mean, literally, yeah, it loved me at that point. Like, we were investing. Couch cushion had more action than you had the night before. Then you have the night in three months.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Whatever. Anyways. And so she was hysterical. She said, Have you heard about what's going on? And I'm like, Yes, but like, where is like what's going on right now? Like, why are you calling me? And she's like, Well, she's at my house. And I'm like, Okay, I'm turning around. Literally how I talk. And the drama continues, folks. Yes. I'm like, okay, I'll turn around. So went back to her mom's house. They were yelling at each other, and I'm like, oh my boy. Like, is there coffee? Do you have some whiskey? Like, do you have anything? Any Xanax? Long story short, her mom she said a few choice words.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Short story long. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Truly. I'm so sorry. So her mom, she said a few, her mom said a few choice words to her in response. She said a few choice words to her mom.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

Okay. And so mom and daughter action.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

Yeah, it was wild. And so her mom said, Get the fuck out of my house. And so I'm literally sitting there now have coffee. It's about halfway gone. And I'm like, Where did you get the coffee from? Oh, I she was finally making some. So in the midst of all this craziness, listen here, bitch. It's brewing. Listen. Listen. Truly. I'm like, thank God. Like, I just keep this is how this is my voice the entire time. Like, thank you so much. Like, this is great. And so it's calm. Fantastic. Yeah. So she kicks her out of our house.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

You know when we get the most calm? Is when we're not involved. Correct. Yeah. I get the most calm. If I'm not involved. I'm just like, wait. Don't involve me. Don't put me on my eyes. I do listen. And guess what? If we're not involved, we'll be the calmest you'll fucking ever see us.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

I'm sitting back, watch with my popcorn or my coffee.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Get my coffee, brewing bitch.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

So she throws her daughter out of the house. Uh, she goes and sits on the front porch. Here I am, subbling, like trying to drink the rest of my fucking coffee. Because I listen, I I've had so much going on already.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

She's a silly. She made out with the pillow on the couch.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

So I go on the porch and she's sitting there with her luggage. And I'm like, so calm, cool, and collected. I'm like, so are you coming with me? Are you staying here? Like, what are you saying on the porch? Are you coming with me? Like, what's what's going on? She didn't talk to me for a heart. She's like, I'm not mad at you. And I'm like, I don't even care about. I just, I'm tired. Girl, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Let's just skip the story for now. And like, yeah, I don't care. Are you okay? Because I'm about to be done with this.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

You can tell me when I get home. Okay. Come home with me. You can tell me there. So then, no later than I say that, here comes her mom again out on the porch, and she's fucking yelling and kissing the listen. That's when I'm tired, grandpa. That's when her mom comes back out on the porch and says um a few choice words to her. And yeah, that's when that's when the friend shot back at the mom and was like, whatever she said to her. And then that's when the mom was like, you know what? Get the fuck out of my proper not out of my house, off my property. Throws her luggage at me. And I'm like, what? Okay, let's just can we just go? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Before anyone, hey, can I tell you? Get out of there! Get out of there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Perfect opportune moment, 100%. So it was a lot. But anyways. Yeah, that's that's the end of it. That's uh, but she made her bed.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

And now she's gonna lay in it. Uh not gonna lay in it, exactly. She's gonna lay in Egypt.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

I love her so much.

Clean Turn Ons Versus Dirty Turn Ons

SPEAKER_02 32:24

Let's go into today's episode.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Let's do it. Are we gonna do fucking turn-ons?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah, so I have to ask you this. Turn on, like as in like not dirty turn-ons, or do you mean dirty? All of it. All of it? All of it. Okay, I want all of it. Perfect because I wrote down all of it.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Yeah, I knew you would. Yep, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

After I got done with my essay, she says her essay regularly. Can I ask you first? What is a clean turn on?

SPEAKER_01 33:02

Your brain. Oh shit, yeah. Your brain. I mean, my god.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Just be an absolutely intelligent.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

That is the fucking it's just where it begins, right? Like if you can spark me intellectually, like I am all in. Oh yeah. You got me. You got me. Yeah. You got me there, you got me in that hold. Um, but now it's the other piece of it. So I mean, yeah, definitely the brain. Okay. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

No, that's actually really wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

What's your clean?

SPEAKER_02 33:33

My clean would be okay. So it's kind of really pathetic because it makes me seem like really uh like conceited, but I love it when they like appreciate me and the things I do or like ask about my day.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

I'm very into that.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

That's okay. Yeah. No, that's not conceited.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

It's it just seems like yeah, like it that he cares. Like it it he's interested.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Yeah, I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

Okay, yeah. No, I love it. Absolutely. That's a that's a clean one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Yeah. So give me a dirty.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Oh girl, let's go duh. Let's go dirty, then we'll go back clean. Yeah, we go, we'll go back and forth. Clean, dirty, clean, dirty. Um laundry's happening.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:30

Dumb. So dirty for you. Okay, dirty for me. Well, first of all, I fucking love being my butt being grabbed. Okay. It just like gets that like party started a little bit. Okay. Like, um, if we're anywhere, like anywhere. And I get a PDA.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

You like PDA, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Yeah, but it's gotta be like a good solid one. Yeah, I get it. Oh, girl. I get it. It can't just be like a slap. It has to be like, hey, I'm grabbing your cheeks and I'm lifting you up. Like I'm feeling it. And I it's a fucking turn on. I'm sorry. I get it. It gets me, gets me.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Oh yeah, I love it. Uh, dirty turn on for me would be um probably just uh especially like when we're first starting like talk and stuff like that, not necessarily like meeting in person, um, would be fucking dirty talk, you know, just kind of like that. Is I'm telling you right now, I have you ever sexed?

SPEAKER_02 35:38

Oh, absolutely girl, I sex every Tinder date. Of course you do.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Did you not hear the she's made an essay out of actually a paper out of how to sex properly? So look that up.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Literally, I only sex. Apparently, they only want to sex to me at Tinder dates or whatever. Not even being on a date with them, but yeah, you know, prison guy. Yeah. I'm just like, he's like soaked. I'm like, okay, back to dirty.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Okay, so yes, dirty talking. So dirty, so we're gonna go clean.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

So oh, back to clean. Okay. I really like it when my ideas like they brag about my ideas.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Like that gets me melts me a little bit. Yeah, like they brag on me about just like eat it. Could be something fucking stupid, like, oh uh, Scarlet recommended this shoe. This new shoe. Look at my shoe that I'm wearing love because she recommended it. She recommended it. How good I look in this shoe. Yeah, yeah. No, though simple as fucking that. Yeah, I'm not even eating I'm not even hard to fucking please here. I just want somebody fucking normal. And uh that's that's actually, I don't think it's a big ask.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

It's not, but anymore nowadays. I feel like it is because again, what we were just talking about with your friend that was just here, you know, it's just so easy to just next, next, next, nobody has those morals, nobody has those efforts. Yeah, effort is a huge thing.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

It is, and if you really want something, if you're not in prison, I mean if I'm if you're pretty I'm pretty sure you got yard time later on and you're he might have conjugal visits, so you might hang out. Oh, she at that changes the game. I'm I'm unblocking him. You can take my panties with you, okay? Sell them and send it to me. Oh, wait, we gotta put that in your fund. P.O. box. Your your fund. So you can spend it. Your commissary. Your commissary. We're not putting his no, we're not. Well, what if he needs to buy I don't give a fuck what he needs. Stamps.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

I don't for no, no, no, thank you. Okay, no, thank you. All right, all right. Okay, so a clean one for me holding holding a conversation, um an intellectual. That goes into brains. Yeah, it does. That's what I'm saying. Like it kind of ties into that. I'm really big on that. I truly am. Um, and as I've been reminded, my boyfriend that is the now boyfriend, um, is my one good-looking boyfriend. Oh, but anyways, you are good looking. Um, but I mean, I just I go after Are we just trying to get him hard right now?

SPEAKER_02 38:30

No, is this your hey uh Bessie? Should we ask this? Um is this your fucking turn on? This is our foreplay. This is our foreplay. Ivy's like, let me turn on the pod. She starts it and then she's like, let me get into something comfortable. Maybe she's like, Did you find that funny? Did you like it? Did you did you like how I talked about you?

SPEAKER_01 38:59

It's both our turns, just like in weird ways. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

Oh, I I honestly, that's why I opened up the X Files.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Yeah, because I am always this one, and so are you, that comes up with like these fucking random ass fucking ideas, and you're like, Yep, let's fucking let's I don't know, let's run. Let's go, let's run for it. Why haven't we done it yesterday? Exactly. And so when you have somebody by your side that says, Well, you're crazy, but I support you, you know, and no matter what the crazy is behind it, they're just like because we have a lot of crazy, yeah. We got you, babe, and then they just go for it, but yeah, I'm keeping it in a lactite box on a shelf.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Yeah, we're going clean. Oh no, I'm I did my clean. You're we're going back and forth. Okay, well, I thought I did it. No, you didn't do another clean yet.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

She has a really hard time doing clean, folks. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

No, I have it. I have it. Okay, like any pre-game would be for me if I'm around my family and friends and he is communicating with them and they enjoy his company and like enjoy him. Yes, guess what? I fucking enjoy him.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Yeah, yeah. I love that. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 40:15

That's exactly how I feel every moment that that happens. If they enjoy him, but it can work opposite for me. So if they don't, if they get a bad vibe from so I'm talking about my close, close, close family, basically sisters. Yep. Um if they this is true, if they get any kind of bad vibe from somebody, honestly, in that sense, they've been right. Yeah, you know, they've been right about these people, and it sucks to limit that. It is, and they've been right about them. So yeah, when they're right about them, it's it's I mean, I will still pursue it, obviously, if they're fucking hot and they're gonna see what happens a little bit further down the road.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

You shut your mouth, let me enjoy my time.

SPEAKER_02 41:08

Bitches are married, you little fucking merry bitches. I mean, my family hates you, but let's fuck. Okay, so yeah, that's it. That's uh where that one clean goes.

Dark Fantasies And Sex Club Curiosity

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Okay. Uh, so dirty. I'm gonna go really dark. I know.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

How much are we gonna have to cut? Uh well, nothing. Is it beyond explicit? Because that's all we got permission for. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

We'll see. We'll see what happens. Um, so are you familiar with the movie Hostile? So I didn't realize that I was into gory, but this is like a more this is a different level, gory. And whatever, write in. Tell me your your situation.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

We got you.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

No, no, nothing like that. So hear me out, okay. So there was a scene where this lady goes in, she's in um a dark-loaded room. She goes in, there's candles all over. So I love candles, so automatically the mood is set for me. I I see fire hazard. Okay, and so I see beautiful. I'm like, oh my god. Fire hazard. There is a claw foot tub that's in the basin, like kind of like in um the lower low lower level of this uh room. Really? So she steps in completely naked. She steps into this tub. Oh, let me see. Gotta add the nudes. And she lays there, and then all of a sudden, like you it it flashes to a woman coming forth on a meat hanger. Coming forth? Yeah, like coming to her on Come forth. Come forth with me. Come forth with me now. Anyways, it comes to her on a meat hanger, and with this fucking not forth, but anyways, this girl is now in front of her in this bathtub. This lady reaches down and that's in the tub, not the one that's on the meat hanger that's hanging above this lady, but she reaches the lady that's in the tub, reaches to her right, she pulls out this scalf or whatever it's called, and she fucking she just starts slicing this bitch up and just lets the blood like run all over her. Titties are all open. I'm not gonna yuck your yum, don't yuck my yum. And so she's just like rubbing the blood like all over her and just like letting it like splatter. And I don't know why, but like that scene turned me on so fucking much. I'm not kidding you. I I whackadoodled myself, you know. So and so now, like it and like during it, I'm like, oh my god, there's like afterwards, because like in the moment, you're not like there's something wrong with me. No, afterwards, you're like necessarily, oh my god, is there something wrong with me? Wrong with me. However, I looked this up, and there are multiple people that are turned on by the these scenarios. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

They're like for some people, it's like gore porn.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

Yeah. Okay. Feel free to use that, by the way. Gore porn.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Gore porn. That's gonna be another merch fucking item. Merch! Merch merch. Merch. Um, but anyways, so yeah, it's uh it's a little weirder of a fantasy of mine. That's why you kind of want to delve into that.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

But I still love that fucking fantasy. I mean, I don't because I fucking ate blood. Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:35

And I typically do too. It's just I don't know if I would be in that moment if I would like it, but it's a it's the fantasy of it. Oh, yeah. Just the fantasy.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

You can't, yeah, exactly. I don't know if I want to act it out, but there are no, but their fantasies are fine.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

But there are on our underground places that you can go to act out said, not to kill somebody, but like no, yeah. There's definitely there's places that you can go to like act these out. And I thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

I'm like, hmm, we actually need to delve into this because not just fucking swingers, but fucking sex clubs. I okay, this is a project for us.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

We're gonna go to one because I've heard like things about them, and I'm just curious. I want to be a bystander. I don't even have to, I don't want to participate. I just want to watch.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

Watch. Isn't it fucking like well? It could be my boyfriend better be there because if I'm watching, you guarantee you I'm fucking participating, horny as a motherfucker, and afterwards you better be readily available.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

We'll be selling those panties hundred bucks pop.

Kissing Skills And Neck Sensitivity

SPEAKER_02 45:40

I'll be fucking water on the ocean, you know what I'm saying? That'll feel at least 18 panties. We can make at least 500 bucks. Uh let us know if you want them. So um yeah, prisoner guy. We know you know who you are. Good kisser. Oh. Okay. I'm all about okay. I uh I'm guilty of this. Very guilty. When during sex, I love fucking love to kiss. It makes me it it makes me like it's like a reconnection.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

It is, it is, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I don't know, like you're connected, but then it's like a whole nother reconnection.

SPEAKER_02 46:21

Yeah, like uh it gives me fucking momentum and I fucking love it kissing during sex, uh before sex, even. Oh yeah. Fucking a good kisser gets me. Like, I I mean it's it's a thing. Oh yeah. But if you're fucking bad, bye, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Yeah, you got to go 100%.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

And hey, check your fucking breath, guys.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

I'm just getting ready to say that. I'm like, listen, if you got bad breath, you need a fucking what does that say? Get the fuck out of here. Uh so clean for me. Um, I'm gonna go off with the fucking uh I don't know if this is really clean. It's probably like a mediocre.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Mediocre, okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

Um, between it's mild, between clean and dirty, we're gonna put it in the mild, but like kissing me on my neck. Girl, yeah. If you and especially like if I'm sleeping and you kiss me on my neck, or no, I don't like that. If you oh, I do, or if you like, or if you're cuddling me and then we're just like laying there, and then like all of a sudden, like you start kissing on my neck. I'm goodbye panties. I'm fucking prisoner acceptance. Yeah, you want them bitches moist, they be moist then. I got 16 coming at you, 20. I didn't even realize like how sensitive it was because nobody's ever did it right. Does that make sense? So, like with the boyfriend, like when he does it, I'm just like okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

Okay, so I do think that you're on to something here. You trust him. The axe like would kiss my neck, but then he'd be like, What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_01 48:01

Is that a strawberry?

unknown 48:02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

I don't know what it was. Is this is this? He was just like like puff on my neck at the same time, like not even like kiss on it, but like put his lips on my neck and then just be like I'm not kidding you, and I'm just like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_02 48:18

You're gonna give me nightmares, gross.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

Okay, anyways, so no, so this is a breath of fresh air.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

Uh a breath of non-fresh for him. Disgusting. Like, brush your puck of teeth, and then like don't puff on my fucking neck.

Scarlett’s Mirror Fantasy And BDSM Talk

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Yeah, don't puff on it. It's not there to puff on, bud. Actually, gonna uh put Scarlet on the spot since she wanted me to last episode.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Never on the fucking spot, am I?

SPEAKER_01 48:45

Uh so I told the audience about my deep dark fantasy. I want to know about a deep dark fantasy that you have.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Gosh, it's actually a combination of fucking things. Let's go. Like literally, I love um a good back end action. Okay, style. Doggy style, and we're looking in the mirror. Okay, and we're connecting. I don't know, it's fucking weird. It's so stupid.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

No, it's not stupid. I like that. I love that for you.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

It's like uh like I'm so deep on fucking things. Every guy's like, God, I'm in prison.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

I'm in prison.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

Just send me a name on this goddamn paper. Why do you gotta ask about lunch? Like, he's like, just send me your fucking panties, bitch. Like, please. I'm like, you're making me uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 49:45

Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so okay, okay. So kind of, you know, write in and tell us your weird or normal or whatever you think is like your fantasies, the ways that you like to be shown how you want to be wanted. Yeah. Does that just, you know, trip your trigger? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:06

Because like our trip your trigger ones were kind of standard.

unknown 50:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

I mean, I could have gone into so many more, but we I mean we'll get we'll touch into it. I'm gonna have to like dig back in my mind and think about all that. I don't like I mean BDSM. I could get on board certain things, but not like all of it. Yeah, sure. I'm not a big fan of like ball gag. I don't want something in my mouth.

Listener Prompts And How To Support

SPEAKER_02 50:32

I don't like anything like gagging me. I mean same. Well, unless it's a dick. I mean, unless it's a game. And then I can I can throw it in. I'm like, get the fuck out of there! Get out of there! So, besties, please email nothing untouched pod at gmail.com and we will check them out.

SPEAKER_01 50:55

Listed in the show notes. You know what? The biggest compliment that you could ever give us is a like.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

A like, a like, a review, a five-star. How about five? Give me fucking five, bitches.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Even if you have a one out there, I want to hear it too. I I love constructive criticism, so yeah, we both do. Anything that we can do better for you guys, let us know. Any episode uh suggestions, we're here for it. Listen, we don't, we love to be judged, I guess. So judge us.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

I well, I mean, not in real life, every time Scarlet does not, I do. I would take it and I'm like, all right, I can take it.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

It's just not as long as there's a great at the end of it, okay?

SPEAKER_02 51:38

If you give me an A, but maybe secretly D minus me, okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Share us with your, you know, your friends, your family, whoever you think that would even not like us. You know what I mean? Like they're like, listen to these fucking whores. Yeah, listen to this because you even believe what they're talking about right now. Um, so do that for us. I mean, again, that's the biggest compliment that you could ever give us. Um, anyways, I hope everybody has a great rest of your week. Please listen in, please tune in, tell everybody about us, and we will talk to you next week, besties.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Love you, besties. Bye-bye. Bye.