The Breakup Files: Fallouts, Confessions, and Closure!

We trade the worst breakup stories we’ve lived through and the wild reasons people use to end relationships when they don’t want to be honest. Along the way, we unpack ghosting, breakup texts, emotional cheating, and what we owe each other when we’re done. 
• Scarlett’s post-drought hookup recap and what it unlocks emotionally 
• April Fools alibi prank and who really has your back 
• Birthday prep stress and the burnt cake meltdown 
• Worst ways to get dumped and the pettiest excuses 
• Getting dumped for “not being supportive” after an almost deer accident 
• The “It’s not you, it’s me” breakup text and how disrespect lands 
• Accusations sparked by a spam email and the cheating projection 
• First date chemistry problems and ending things fast 
• Our own ghosting habits and why we default to blocking 
• The line between physical cheating and emotional cheating 
• Warning signs in long relationships and when therapy matters 
• Sexual curiosity side quests and talking about preferences 
Again, you can write in to us at nothing untouchedpod at gmail.com and let us know your thoughts, feelings, takes. Just let us know if you have a bad breakup story. Did you are you the one that broke somebody's heart? Yep. We want to know. We want to hear about it. Are you the dumper or dump dummy? Dumpy or dumper. Which is it? Let us know. Also, if you've got ideas for us to shout out there. Also, other podcasters, we'd love to be a fucking guest. And we'd love you for you to be a guest on our show. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hey besties, you're listening to Nothing Untouched, the podcast where we overshare, laugh a lot, and talk dating, hookups, and heartbreak. And all the messy moments in between. Hi, I'm Ivy Noor. And I'm Scarlett May. Buckle up, besties. Nothing is off limits.

Scarlett Finally Gets Laid

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Hey guys. How's everybody doing today? Welcome back, Bestie. Yes, welcome. I am gonna go ahead and start with Scarlett and see how things have been going. Yeah, we're doing where she's at in life right now. It's been a week, so here we go.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Well, I'm happy to report. I fucking got fucked.

unknown 1:02

Ah!

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Finally!

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Got it. Did it sex guides have rain and girl and I did get it. How many times? How many times?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Three. Okay. In a very short amount of time.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Fuck yeah. And then you came?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Twice.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

But the second time I was almost there. It was it was fucking close. Yeah. It was close. But both times I came, it was when he was going down on me. Oh, okay. And I fucking came within 30 fucking seconds. Damn! Literally 30 seconds. That's how much I fatten up. That's how she was ready to go. That's how fucking pathetic I am. I'm like, oh, oh, I'm sorry. That was easy for you. You didn't make him work very hard. No, he's like, man, I hope you bring that up on the pod.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Well, here you are. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yeah, no, it was amazing. Well, it's just nice to be fucked. Yeah. And you know what? It was nice to be like, just hang out with a dude. Yeah. Hang out with a guy.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Oh, so I'm not cool enough anymore, huh? Is that what you're trying to say?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Ivy, you're fucking out. I got fucked by this dude. You're no longer. Okay. You know what this is. He's gonna take over and he's gonna take over my needs from now on.

unknown 2:20

No.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

No, we it was actually A plus guy, you know. Grades paid off. You know, you know, uh, I had to get it because literally I had done two assignments. I mean, don't you think I'm fucking owed at this point?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Absolutely. But again, I just wouldn't, I'm again, I just wouldn't be the one to do the assignment.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So I'm still waiting for the fucking essay grade though. What? Yeah, he hasn't gotten it back yet. And I'm like, I want to know that because that one was like that one was fucking tedious.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

And now you're owed another fuck session after that one. Oh yeah, most definitely. So, but it went well. It did. Did you guys go to brunch, like he said?

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, yeah. So he we went to some diner and he got breakfast. I got lunch. So brunch, I guess. Okay, right on. No, it was fun, and then we just kind of like hung out, yeah, visited, watched 911. Have you ever seen that show?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Oh, yeah, it's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

But yeah, I know it was super fun, and we had a good time, and I was just super thankful.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Okay, I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

I'm good for like another six years. I how long's it been? Yeah, it has satisfied a need. Good. So I'm excited. You guys can probably tell it in my fucking voice.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

See, for me though, it like awakens the beast. Yeah, like okay, so I can go for a while. Like, obviously, like right off the bat, like if I've gone for so long, I want to say like a couple months. If I've gone a couple months without it, like I'm I'm itching for it. But then, like, the longer I don't go for it, then I'm like, whatever. It's it is what it is at this point. But then once I get it, then I'm just like, okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

I know. That's why I'm like, man, now I'm like gonna have one it every fucking night this week. And I'm like, yeah, it's not possible. I know, but yeah, I know it's super good. I'm just glad to have had it.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

Oh, I'm happy for you.

April Fools Alibi Pranks

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Yeah, so I want to talk about one other thing too because uh since we last recorded, we had April Fool's Day.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Okay, so I was fucking around with people on April Fool's Day. Okay, I didn't do it to you because I figured you'd you'd get me. So I got a couple other people. So I got a plus guy. So I sent him a message and I said, Hey, you're gonna be getting a call. And you just have to say I was there from 11 p.m. till 6 a.m. last night. So and he's like, What's this for? And I'm like, just don't, I don't want to involve you very much, just do it. And so he's like, Well, call me on your lunch hour. I don't know. I'm like, all right. So I called him and I was like, April Fool's Day, but he was gonna do it. Um, but then my cousin, and I go, Hey, girl, there is gonna be somebody calling you. Just tell them I was at your house, tell them you were with me. And she goes, Well, do I need to know any details? What should I know? What should I the least amount you know, the better off you are? And she's like, Okay, I gotcha. Okay, I was like, All right, no questions asked. I have some people that'll come through for no book at least. Yeah, no. She was like, April Fools, and my sister, one of my sisters, she's like, This is fucking April Fools. I'm not falling for this shit.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Oh dang it. She was she saw it right off the bat, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

And then my other sister, she didn't respond for like several hours. She's like, I got you, I got you.

unknown 5:34

What is it?

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Don't worry. So I got people that got my back no matter what I do. Okay, no matter what I've done. They don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yeah, that's murder. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you needed a fucking alibi. Yeah, no, you could have been serious. Okay, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Yeah, I thought that was pretty fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

That is awesome. I mean, you got people on your side, and they don't even ask questions. I mean, they asked a few, but then they're like, all right, cool.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Cool, no matter details. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

How was your week? It was good. So the boyfriend's birthday was is actually today. So we celebrated last night, but I was prepping for it for two fucking full days. So I made some some meatloaf, some homemade meatloaf, and a cake. Yum, a lemon cake with some white fucking icing. Is that his favorite lemon cake? Yep. Okay. But let me tell you. Did you like it? Yeah, it was good. Yeah, but I had a fucking issue. Listen, I'm a cook. I can cook all day long. I can come up with recipes, cooking, stuff like that. Baking, no, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Oh, I'm an excellent baker girl. You should call me up.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

No, baking is not my forte. So I'm I'm doing too much, right? So Thursday night, I'm prepping, I'm cooking, I'm putting the meatloaf together, I'm talking on the phone with a friend. Like, I'm just doing way too much. Completely forget about the fucking cake and the oven. Well, I didn't forget about it. Like the timer still hadn't gone off, but I should have checked on it. Sure. So finally, I'm like, I don't, I smell the cake, but like I it's like. Had you mean it from scratch? No. Okay. Damn. I'm not that dedicated. Okay. Uh anyway, so I pull it out of the oven and it's brown. It's not golden brown, it's brown.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

So I'm like, cute. So I'm looking at it and I'm like poking on it. It doesn't even like bounce back. It's just like hard as a fucking. It's like, well, it's not hard, but it's just rubbery. So I I take it out and I fucking look at the bottom. It's not even solidable. Because I was gonna like cut off the top and like the sides and stuff and just like make a littler cake. Yeah. Nope. The bottom is all fucking burnt to shit. Oh man. So I threw that bitch in the trash. Went and bought one, crumpled the motherfucker up. No. Crumpled the motherfucker up, threw it in the trash, and I had a meltdown. Oh I cried.

unknown 7:52

Why?

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Well, because I've been going through so much. Number one, at work. Get it. I'm on my stupid rag. So, and then I burned a fucking cake. No, so no, the next day, I before I went to his house, which was yesterday, I just went out and bought another cake, another box cake, and I made it at his his house, and it turned out great.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Where?

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah, so it was really good. It all turned out fine, but like just in that moment, it was pretty wild. Yeah. But I also dressed up like Velma for him. From Scooby-Doo. From Scooby-Doo-Doo. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Why did you dress up like Velma?

SPEAKER_00 8:29

He has a fantasy of that.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

So Scooby-Doo fantasy?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

She's like the ugliest one on there.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Well, I wouldn't, I don't know. I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Maybe he likes her brain.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

I don't know. You know, I never did ask him why he liked her.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

I bet it's her brain.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

So it's just funny. But no, I dressed up just I have, you know, pictures and stuff like that. He took a picture of me, but yeah, I mean, unfortunately, nothing nothing happened because I am on my stupid rag, but there'll be another time when I can dress up for him and recreate the moment.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Well, I would definitely do it again and have sex afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Oh, absolutely. All right. No, no, no. It's gonna happen in a whole different light, too. It's just it was already like a surprise for him. Like I didn't have anything else planned for his fucking birthday. Sure. And a card that said, Happy birthday, handsome, but the D was missing from birthday. And then at the bottom it said, you can give me the D later.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Oh, how fucking clever. I love that actually.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah, I got it from Amazon.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

But you didn't get the fucking D later. No. I mean, later on you will.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I guess later, later. It's fine. We have sex a lot of time, but you know, just I know.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

I'm sitting here rolling my eyes because I already had the good sex talk, but she's gotta do one up on me.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

So should we get into our episode? Or do you have anything else you want to share?

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Probably had other stuff, but when you get fucked, it's like everything goes out the window. Yeah. So yeah.

Worst Ways To Get Dumped

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Okay. Well, let's go on. Well, let's get into it. So on today's episode, we're gonna be talking about worst way to get dumped. Okay.

Dumped Over Almost Hitting A Deer

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Worst way. So either you do the dumping or you've been dumped. Yes. Yes, either or. Yeah. So we'll go back and forth if you've got whatever one you've got. Do you want to go first? Sure. Yes. Let's talk about dumping.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

I want to say the worst way, what comes to my mind first is a guy was coming to see me late at night. I lived about 45 minutes from him. And he always told me, I don't drive at night. Well, I don't drive at night either. So, anyways, so he was coming to visit me. It got kind of like dusky out. It was kind of like around this time of year. A fucking deer jumps out in front of him. He doesn't hit it, nothing happens. So he gets to my place. And when he gets there, he's all upset and everything. And I'm like, What is are you okay? And he's like, Yeah. And I didn't hear like because he was like ranting and raving. And so then I was like, okay, let's go back. And I said, So did you hit the deer? And he's like, no. He's like, but I almost did. And you know, it just really upset me. And I was like, oh. From almost hitting a deer. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

You have almost fucking hit a 90 million fucking deer.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Correct. Yeah. And I'm not a coddler. I that's just not in me. So I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm glad you made it, kind of thing. Well, it upset him so much that two days later he messaged me and said, you know, I just got to really thinking, and I just don't really think that you're the one for me because of X the because of this incident and of what I went through and you you weren't there for me. And I was like, Are you supposed to fucking do? Fucking kidding me? What were you supposed to do? Did you want me to pull out my fucking tit and hand it to you and be like, come here, little baby? For not hitting a deer? For not hitting a deer girl. I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

This is fucked up. He was looking for any fucking excuse.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

I I feel like no.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

I mean, what about it?

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Because even after that, even like after the fact, like even years down the road, he was still trying to get with me and talk to me and stuff like that. So I I don't feel like it was an excuse. I feel like he was just a big fucking fat sissy. Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Yeah, like what a big fucking baby. Like, it's just the dumbest ever.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Can't make that shit up. No, you cannot. All right, Scarlett. So you go.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Man, I would have been dumping a lot of guys from almost almost hitting a deer.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah.

The “It’s Not You It’s Me” Text

SPEAKER_01 12:39

All right. Well, I got dumped recently in the last like four months. I was talking to a guy. We weren't like official or anything. We were just kind of talking and we had fucked a few times. He didn't live anywhere close to me. It was probably never gonna work out. But we had spoken on the phone like three times a day, all day, sometimes here and there, and text all day. And so I kind of considered it more than you know just a friendship and maybe going towards something more than a situation.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Yes, yes, because of how much we talked and how much we got along.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

And so one night he was talking to me and he was brag. This is a second time he done it. He was bragging about how he uh like went to a strip club and the stripper asked him to put her his hands on her butt or whatever, and he did it. I don't know. He brought it up again. And the first time he brought it up, I didn't give a shit because yeah, what the fuck? I don't care. Right. You know, I went to strippers too. Anyway, he proceeded to tell me again this one night, and I just wasn't in the mood to hear it again. I was just like, be respectful towards me. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Well, it's weird though that you okay, bring it up one time, perfect, fine, good for you.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Done, moved on.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

But the second time around, bringing it up, it's just like, what are you trying to fucking prove?

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah, what are you getting at here?

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Like, you want me to be jealous, not jealous? I don't get it. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I was like, Well, I'm gonna let you go. Like, this was because we had talked for a while and I just like was over the conversation. Right. So I'm like, Well, I'm gonna just let you go. And then I he's like, Oh, okay. So I let him go that night because I was just like, uh, we'll be fine. I mean, I just was annoyed that night.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

He was just like, Oh, okay, you don't want to keep reminiscing on my stripper night the next day.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

He hadn't called me or anything or text me or anything. So I was like, All right, so he's clearly butthurt like a dick. So I sent him a message and I said, Hey, I just didn't want to rehash things, I don't care, but you bring it up a lot and I just didn't want to go over it again, right? And then he didn't respond right away, and then all I said, all of a sudden, I get a text message that says, It's not you, it's me. The fucking first line. Who the fuck uses that dumping method? Who uses that method?

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Oh my god, no, for real, who uses that?

SPEAKER_01 15:08

The most cliche pathetic ever, every correct. And I laughed and I was like, Oh my god. So of course I was like, I had to tell all my girlfriends, they're like, You're lying. And I'm like, no, read the fucking message. It's not you, it's me.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Yeah, wow. And then didn't what didn't something else though come up with that too? Wasn't didn't he like send you some other kind of like bullshit message that you knew that was like probably like an AI?

SPEAKER_01 15:35

What I responded was, it's been a while since I've been dumped with it's not you, it's not, it's me. Yeah, but I also I want to thank chat GBT for helping you dump me. Oh my god. And then honestly, I hadn't heard from him, hadn't heard from him. And then I sent a message. Remember the X Files? He was one of them.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Oh, okay. I was wondering.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

And here and there we went back and forth, and he's like, Oh, yeah, I'm coming back in a couple weeks. I don't fucking care. I didn't write.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

No, good for you.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Good for you. I'm so proud of you. Good for you. I'm like, well, if you get fucked, you don't need anybody.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

No, well, not like that, but how disrespectful he was to you for exactly and how how was fast that that switch flipped, right? Like one minute we're talking all the time. You go to a fucking fine, go to a strip club, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

But I don't need to hear the details all the time. It wasn't like I was hearing him, I had already heard him. So I got it. Wow, we talked every day, and that's how much respect you had for me. Fuck off. So that was over.

Spam Email Accusation And Petty Revenge

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Oh gosh, yeah. So yeah, the one that I have is probably gonna be the one that is the most shocking to me about being broke up over. But even like going further into that, too, like past like preview him. There was a guy that I was dating off and on. I should have never, he was an over-the-road trucker, not a good person. He was probably hooking up with lot lizards. I don't that's not oh, that's not let's hope not. But, anyways, he just was a piece shit. I'm just gonna say that he truly was mean mentally, not physically, but he he grew up in a physically abusive home. His dad was phys physically and mentally abusive to his mom. I was even witness to the fuse the mental abuse sitting at their dining room table the very first time I met them. I was just like, Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

When can I go home?

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Super awkward. Now, mind you, this house too was disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

My god, was this like the same guy that had the the fucking roaches? Different guy.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Okay, so yeah, it was so gross. They raised God, Yorkes, Yorkie poos, not Yorkie poos, but York's. Yeah, and they sold them. And their house just was it just reeked of dog. I mean, it was it was so gross, it truly was. And I I ate a meal with them, and I was grossed out the entire time.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

You're like, all I can smell is piss and shit.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Correct. One night I was home with him. He was cooking a steak dinner, and I went to go take a shower or whatever, and my phone goes off, and he took it upon himself to look at my phone. And it was one of those, like back in the day, this is a Blackberry, mind you. Oh fuck, yeah. Yeah, that's how long ago that was. But anyway, so I got an email and it was like a fucking like spam email about like I don't know, a dating site, or I don't even remember, something like that. He took it and ran with it. He accused me of cheating on him. Okay, which I wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

All right.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

So he blew up and he still let me eat.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

You're like, listen here, it's ChristianMingles.com. Fuck off.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Yeah, he basically told me that I had to find somewhere else to because we were living together too. Oh goodness, yeah. I skipped out that part. We were living together, and he told me I was gonna have to find somewhere else to go. He was done, this, that, and the other. And I was like, over a fucking spam email. I said, I guarantee you you get 20 million a day because you watch your fucking porn or whatever it is. I said, So this is wild girl.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

He was looking for a reason.

The Lazy Eye First Date Exit

SPEAKER_00 19:28

This one he for sure was. Absolutely, yep. Because guess what? He was fucking somebody else. He was the one cheating. Yeah, yeah. So that's okay. So when I was moving out, I scrubbed so he fucking gaslit you. Yeah, oh, 100%. Mentally, he was a mental abuser. So he had, and I helped pay for this freezer, freezer full of fucking meat. And so I took what was mine, number one. I also took a toothbrush and scrubbed his fucking toilet with his own toothbrush. No fucks given. None. I even got up in those crevices and was disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

So this one is not, it kind of relates to a dumping, but we weren't really, we weren't dating at all, but we were on a first date. So I went on this date with this guy, and before we had gone on this date, we had been talking for like two weeks on text. Okay. And then we had FaceTime once. I was looking at him in the FaceTime, and something was off with his like eyes. Like, like I felt like he was looking at me, but not.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Well, anyway, I was like, okay, that's kind of odd. So so like he had like like a lazy eye. Yeah, I think he did. Okay. Okay, yeah. So, but I asked him after the the FaceTime call. I go, Do you have a lazy eye? Oh my god I did because I was like, I want to know. I know, right? And he's like, No, no, I don't have anything like that. And I was like, Okay, you don't, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:00

She was just like digging it in.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Yeah. So I ended up going on a date with him. So he came from like two hours and came down here and we met, and we had, we hadn't we didn't have dinner plans because I didn't want to go that far with it. Sure. Even though we came a long ways, I just didn't want to. Okay. So we had a couple drinks, and as soon as I saw him, I was like, he fucking has a lazy eye. Or if it's not a lazy eye, the eyes fucked up and I'm like, Something's going on, buddy. And honestly, I didn't, I couldn't stop fucking looking at it.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

I know. So I should have probably ended the date after two glasses of wine, but then we went to the casino. Okay. I ended up get having this is real. I ended up getting a call from my son. He was his truck was broke down. Oh, I had to leave. Okay. So I I was like, I'm so sorry. This is real. You're like, thank you so much. I know. But honestly, he probably thought I was full of shit. Yeah. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Especially after the text message I sent him. So I literally left and I got home and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna let him know that I sent him a message and I was like, hey, it's not gonna work out. You're not the right one for me. I don't think we have a connection. Okay. And then my friends were like, geez, you didn't even let him get all the way home before you fucking dumped his ass. You're like, they're like, geez. They're like, he hadn't even left the parking lot. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure that we were both on the same page. Yeah. He wasn't gonna be coming back to see me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

So did he what did he say back to?

SPEAKER_01 22:39

He said something like, Okay, well, is there a reason? And I was like, Your lazy eye. You lied to me. You lied to me about your fucking lazy eye. Uh no, I just said there's no connection. There was no way I was ever gonna kiss this guy. I was zero attracted to him. Okay. So it was never gonna happen. So I just want to be honest. I was like if it if he hadn't had the lazy eye, would you have been attracted to him? Okay. Okay. We just did not connect. Okay. I could look past that if we had connected. Sure. You know, okay. You're not that shallow.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

No, I'm not that listen, besties. I don't know. I was just trying to like make sure, you know, for everybody listening, yeah. I'm not that fucking shallow.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

But if we would have connected on any other level, I would have fucking not worried about the lazy for sure. For sure. So that I think that's terrible dumping.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

But at least I was fucking honest and I was like, I don't, but see, but I'm hardcore like that too. So it's hard for me to be like, oh my gosh, you were so mean because I'm like, no, I probably would have done the exact same thing, or I would just not talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yes, and blocked his ass.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

At least I had the common courage. Exactly. We're never gonna fucking speak again. We're never, I'm never gonna respond to you. This is it. Yeah, 100%. And I like people to do that shit to me too.

Ghosting The Future Boyfriend

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Yeah, I don't really have like a good story of like me dumping anyone just because like I don't ever reach out and be like, hey, you know, so sorry, it's not gonna work. I just ghost or blockers. Please, but I think the one that I should bring up is the one um that I told the the boyfriend that I'm with now. And that because Besties, the the boyfriend, him and I actually had gotten together on Facebook dating prior. Well, it's been now eight months. It's crazy. I think you talked about it in what episode three? Possibly, yeah. Something like that. So just kind of delve a little bit deeper into that. You know, the connection was there with us. It's just number one, I don't think that I was ready for him for sure. But just uh there was a couple other things too that just I just wasn't happy with at that time. And so we went out a couple different times, and then I think we were like talking for maybe a month, and so finally like I just made up in my mind. I'm just like, I I'm done with them.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

Like, I can't I didn't realize you guys talked for a month, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Oh, I didn't realize that it was for a little bit, yeah. Okay, not a long time, but for like a month. Well, and again, I mean we didn't go out that much because he works overnight, so we didn't really actually get together that often. But, anyways, so yeah, and I never spent the night at his house. Never, never the first time around. I would go there, but then I would leave. So he reached out a couple times to me and I just didn't respond. I know I'm terrible, I'm a terrible fucking person. I know, and so finally, because I did feel bad, yeah, you know, because he was like, gosh, even like in my at my age, I didn't think ghosting was possible. Oh, did he say call me out?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

You should have said it's not you, it's me. Kinda sort of did in a ghosting manner, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

No, I just I told him, you know, I said I just wasn't that attracted to him, this, that, and the other, which was somewhat true, but not true at the same time because I definitely was attracted to him. It's just I was not ready for that. I thought I was ready for a committed relationship at that time, but I was not.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

But you were completely attracted to him and everything. I was, yeah, yeah, for the most part.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had some unhealthy ways about him at that time, which now he's gotten everything under control, which I'm so happy about. Like he would chug mountain.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

He did it all for you, ID.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

I don't know, but I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Did he date anybody in between?

SPEAKER_00 26:45

I don't know. You haven't asked him?

SPEAKER_01 26:47

No, that's never come up. No, no, because you know what? I don't want to know. Okay. Have you ever asked a guy their body count? Yeah, I have.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

I've I've asked them their body count, but I know that they're never true.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

So the one boyfriend I had after I was married, I really wanted to know. I was kind of curious. I don't even know if he knew. Like he would not tell me. And I was like, well, is it like over 30? Under 100? Yeah, you know, and he just like would not tell me. And I was like, what's the big deal? Like, I'm not mad or anything.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yeah. He was like, two. Some people just have, I guess, their bounds. Like, I don't like to tell my body count. You don't? No. Okay. Because I don't really care. Nope. I mean we can talk about after the pod, but I don't like to share my body count. Not that I'm ashamed of it. It's just yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I don't know. It's just like one of those things where I'm like, why not share? I don't, because I'm not ashamed of mine.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Well, let's just say I lived a wild and carefree life there for a while. Wild and carefree life, especially when I was a teenager. Sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And it kind of carried on with me. So I will say that, Besties. That's all you need to know. She a whore. No, I'm just promiscuous. Oh, gotcha. I like the word promiscuous. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

I just like sex.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I do. I do I love sex. And I I I like trying out different people.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

You gotta see, you know, what you're missing out on on that person, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Yeah, but not only that, like I don't so I used to be that person where I could have sex with somebody that I I wasn't even like I mean, I had to be attracted to them, but I didn't have that connection with. But now that I've gotten older, I have got to have that connection along with like attraction because it just doesn't work for me if if I don't have both.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

I have to have both too. Just even for a one night stand, I have to have both. Even if it doesn't work out, I have to have both. In attraction, most fucking definitely.

Stripper Night Chaos And Aftermath

SPEAKER_00 28:57

So Scarlett and I went out, it was after our first stripper show. Yeah, okay. That was that was our wild and out, and we treated that night. Like if you go back and listen to our was it our first, yeah, no, the stripper episode exotic dancers. Yeah, go back and listen. Episode two. We thought we were we were living high on the hog.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

We thought we were 22. I mean, I don't know. Like, what the fuck were we thinking? Oh boy, did we pay for it?

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Lord hammer for days. Days, yes. I was so drunk at that point. We should have never never never went anywhere else, but we did. Of course we did.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

We don't know when to fucking say no. We need to go home.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Together, no, it's it's bad, but it's okay because we get into a lot of fun stuff. Oh shit, yeah. But anyway, so yeah, we went to this establishment. I don't know, a song came on, and I just it I was on a flip switch, and I was just dancing and booging it. And this poor dude, I say poor dude, but this guy, I mean, he was in my sight or whatever, and I just went and started grinding on him, which I never do, just like dancing all over him and stuff like that. And one thing led to the next, and I was gonna take him to the bathroom and shit.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Yeah, you were in the bathroom though, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

No, no, because somebody was in there. Mind you, this is this had been like I hadn't been fucked for a hot minute. Yeah, so I was you were a scarlet situation. I was, and we just got done watching strippers, and you know, yeah, that was a huge point. Yeah, and you're I was like, Yeah, I was like, let's fucking go. So yeah, we went to the bathroom, knocked on the door, like I was adamant, and somebody was like, We're in here, and I'm like, Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

If I don't get it in right now, it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Anyways, and so he's laughing. They're the people in line are laughing. Did he want did was he all on board and fucking in the bathroom? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I wasn't gonna say no, yeah. But that's that's just it, too. When they came out, they're like, Oh god, what uh what I don't remember exactly what was said, but it was like basically like, oh, so you've done this before. And he's like, No, no, no. And I was like, Okay. Like a little man or yeah, so that was a really weird reaction. Yeah, mind you, this guy is very known in the community. I have no idea, literally had no fucking clue who this guy was. I did, yep. And so I gave him no, you gave him my number.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Yes, he asked for it. And I asked you if it was okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yep, yeah. I just didn't remember that part, and that's fine. Um, but I thought I was going home with him because like I don't remember that. Oh, absolutely. And you were cock blocking me. Of course. Everybody remembered. Everybody was cock blocking me, and I'm like, where did this guy go? Like, I was like, and I was so upset.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Girl, I was just looking out for your fucking safety.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

We go okay. Don't do that ever again. No, no, no, for real.

unknown 32:03

I get it.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I'm a taken woman now, but no, then we get in the backseat of your friend's car. Yes, and like I just couldn't, I was like nonstop, like, where's yeah? Where like I was looking for him. I'm like, where the fuck is this guy? And anyways, the next day he messages me and he's like, Hey, like, what happened last night? I'm like, I was gonna ask you the same thing. And he's like, I was waiting for you, looking for you. And I was like, Well, everybody was trying their best not for me to get in your car. So in that dick in, nope, and not if I had anything to say, and so after I had sobered up and like started talking to him stuff, like it just wasn't clicking for sure. Well, fast forward, I was at Walmart the other day. Oh, sure, getting stuff for the boyfriend, getting stuff for the boyfriend's birthday dinner, and I run into him. The burnt fucking cake, yeah, run into him, and no, this is pre-burnt cake, but run into him, and he was like, Oh, hey, and shit eating grin on his face, and so you're like, Oh man, he recognizes me. And so, anyways, so then I leave, get in the car, and no sooner I get in my car, he snaps me. Of course, and I didn't answer it, obviously. But oh, you're in a relationship, yeah, absolutely. You don't want to disrespect your boyfriend, exactly, and I respect him way more than that. So, anyway, it was just like uh it was good to see your little sexy ass with a little kissy face, and I was like, Oh, yeah, he's trying to get it in again, yeah. I mean, can you blame him?

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Did you ever tell him that you weren't interested, or you just blocked him? Because you guys were supposed to go out on some date, right?

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Yeah, he was we were supposed to go on a date, we were supposed to just get together and like all the things, uh-huh. And I just kept putting it up, putting it off, putting it off. No, I still to this day have not told him that I'm not interested. Well, you think he would have fucking got the hint? I'm just really bad. Like, that's that's my thing. Like, if somebody doesn't respond to you, or if the thing just doesn't happen, like just get the hint.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

So truly, you just don't dunk people, yeah. I just I just get leave or fucking block or just ghost. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

I know I'm terrible.

Warnings Before A Real Breakup

SPEAKER_01 34:16

What about for a long-term boyfriend? What do you do? Do you just leave the house and never leave?

SPEAKER_00 34:22

That's a great question. No, I give them warnings. Okay, I do. So anytime that I start talking about leaving you, the boyfriend needs to listen up. I told him this. I did. Yeah. Anytime I start saying, like, if we sit down and we have a conversation, I'm like, hey, like this is really bothering me. Like, can we really talk about it and see what's going on? For instance, with my last ex, we were not having sex, and I could not figure out, I'm like, what is going on? Like, why aren't we having sex? And he would tell me that he just wasn't in the mood, or like it just he just wasn't into it, stuff like that. And I'm like, okay, whatever. And so a lot of things happened. You know, I found out more than I even wanted to. Sure. Well, I had a dream. I had a dream that he was cheating on me.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

I had a dream that he was cheating on me. And I was like, oh my gosh. So long story short, I looked into his phone, found out for sure he was in fact cheating on me. Me to me, cheating on cheating is not only physical, but it's mental too. It's uh mental to me is almost worse than physical because the physical, like, I might even be able to get over the physical part, might doubt it, but might. But if you have a whole mental relationship with somebody outside of your own relationship, I'm I'm fucking over it. Like, that's so for years, honestly, for years, we were together for almost five years. So for years, I would set him down and be like, hey, like, I don't know what's going on. I find this out. So I set him down. I'm like, if something doesn't change, we don't if we don't go to therapy, like something's gotta change. If it doesn't change, I'm breaking up with you and I'm leaving and I'm moving on. Good. Just so you know. And he's like, Okay, yeah, let's, you know, at first he was denying the whole therapy thing, went to therapy, anyways. So, no, I I I definitely long-term relationships, I'll warn you, I'll let you know. Even even before I get completely checked out, I'll let you know. Like, I'll keep on with you. If you if you if you put in the effort and the time with me, then yes, I'll put in the time, the effort, and stuff. But I mean, if you truly can't show me that you're invested in what we're doing here, fuck you. Yeah, no, I'm done. And yeah, I do warn you. I let you know.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

So you did.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

It sounds like you did with him for a year and a half.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

I fucking wasn't put now, so fuck off. No, no, he was cheating on me.

Pegging Talk And Bedroom Curiosity

SPEAKER_00 36:47

He was cheating on me, he was a gambling addict. He fucking put everything. I was never a priority in that relationship. And you never would have been. No, so absolutely, and I feel sorry for anybody else that gets with him because they never will be either. Have you ever pegged anyone? I have never pegged anybody.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Okay, no one's ever asked me to, which I'm kind of wondering if I would or not. I don't know. No one's ever asked me to.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Yeah, I have. Yeah, it's empowering. Yeah, it's that's all I can say about that, really. I mean, it was enjoyable in the moment only because he was enjoying it. But like, did you come? No. Okay. Afterwards, yeah, when I was like my turn and stuff like that, but yeah, while I was pegging him, no. Different kinds out there, and even more now that that there was back then when I did it. So you've got one that you can insert into your badge, and then it's like a dildo. So like it's it's like a two-headed prong, I guess. So you've got one that goes in you and one that can go into the other person. Wow. And so, like lesbians will use it a lot. But the one that I had though was it was a literal strap on. So there was nothing that hit me anywhere, like it was just a straw.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Yeah, but didn't it have to like come up here so it was secure? Like come up through your crotch. Yeah, but it didn't okay, yeah. But it didn't, I it didn't have any kind of uh clip play.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

No, okay, not for me, anyways. Yeah, I think I was just more so like into him, like getting him off in that way.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Yeah, I think it would be really empowering just to it is just to like be like, yeah, take that, take that. You like that? Trust me, I would be smacking some ass, just like we did our fucking.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Absolutely, it's fine. I mean, I don't know. I liked it. I mean, I'm but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Would you do it again? Yeah, okay, absolutely. What about the boyfriend? Would he ever do when you do that? No, he's not into that. No, I've already asked him. He's too into Scooby-Doo. And that bitch ain't never getting nobody fucking pegged. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Velma looks pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

I don't know. Fucking wildcat.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

Yep, I'm gonna tell you because it's the especially if you're dressing up as her. Yeah, it's the ones that you you would least expect that are the the freakiest. Okay, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Yeah, geeks, geeks are super freaky.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Yeah, you you have said that you like some geeks. I'm trying to think if I've ever dated a geek or somebody I thought was a geek. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

No, I don't think I have. The first one that I ever dated was uh the one that got me over the deer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The almost deer. Yeah, he was the first one. He's a fucking baby though. I know. He needed fucking coddled by his mom. He was in the fucking uh navy. How do you fucking manage that? I don't know. Trust me, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

He has a lot of You almost got shot, but you can't handle almost hitting a deer.

unknown 39:41

I know.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Trust me, I was beyond me too. I'm just like, what is that happening right now? That's fucking weird. Anyway, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

So I have one for you. Have you ever regretted how you dumped somebody or said something about get, you know, dumped them and then realize that you really shouldn't have done that. No, no, okay. So I have this ex and he's been my friend since we broke up. So I don't regret breaking up with him, but I certainly because I have my two children, you know, I would I don't regret that at all, having my children with you know, I think I know who you're talking about right now.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

But I do think that I I shouldn't have done it. Like we would have been the perfect for each other, yeah, honestly, if if it would have been the right time in our lives. Yeah, you know, I was young doing the things that I like to do, yeah. As in like go out and stuff. I love to go out with my friends, do stuff, and he was just kind of a homebody, yeah. And and never drank, which is fine. Yeah, not not nothing wrong with that. He was a great fucking DD. Yeah. And I just at that point in my life, I wasn't I wasn't the right person for him. But later on in life, I most certainly would have been. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Yeah, I mean, I think about that stuff though, too. As far as like regretting breaking up, no. Wondering why we got together at that point in time in our lives. It's that doesn't it doesn't weigh heavy on my mind, but I I'm always kind of like, you know, what would have been if we did meet at a different time, you know. I mean, my best friend that you met through video chat the other night after the pod, you know, that's that's one of them. I mean, but he was having the drugs and stuff like that too. But I mean, now it's so much we have so much of like a brother-sister relationship nowadays, it's it's fucking wild.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Yeah, and like he's your one of your close friends now.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Oh my god, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's my I talked to him about my current boyfriend. He talks to me about his current girl or whoever the fuck the the flavor flav of the week, you know, yeah, you know, and it doesn't faze me. And you know, so I mean, I'll I will always love him. I'm super proud of where he's come, you know, from the drugs and to where he's at now. But yeah, there's nothing we need him on the pot. I know.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

We really do.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

I know, yeah, but there's nothing like there anymore, like romantic or anything like that. So, but I appreciate him for who he is now more than ever. But like when I first met him, he was going through a divorce and and this, that, and the other. And we were both like in really fucking weird places in our life. We did drugs together and you know, drank a lot together and stuff like that. I mean, he introduced me to psychedelics, you know. So like mushrooms, yeah. Oh, gotcha, yeah. So, I mean, stuff like that just we just we have so much history, and it's hard to let go of that history.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

And it sounds like you guys had an amazing friendship during a relationship. We absolutely did. And when you have a friendship during a relationship, like your best friend, yeah, it's so fucking hard to lose that. Yes, yeah, it really is.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

I mean, we disconnected for a very, very long time, so yeah, we just kind of I would love to wait, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

We need to have him on because I would love his take on all of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, and the gentleman I'm referring to, he'd never come on the pod because he's not really like that.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

But but yeah, it would be interesting. No, he for sure would, yeah. No, but uh yeah, so not a regret, but just like a what if we were at a different kind of place? But I'm glad that we I'm glad that we have the relationship that we have now because I have that, you know, that super close male relationship that I can get his input onto, you know, well, what should I do? Like, what do you think? Like what, you know, all those things. So I is he an avid listener? Yes, he is. Shout out to you.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Uh we love sorry, I don't hate you. Yeah. So was there any more?

Wine Talk 10th Episode And Write In

SPEAKER_00 43:54

I don't have any more. Do you have anything else? I don't. Okay, all right. Well, besties, we forgot to mention. The wine that we're drinking tonight are bad. It's called Three Rain. It's got a little horsey horse on it. It's actually really good. Did you try it?

SPEAKER_01 44:09

No, not yet, but I'm going to.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

Trust me. Okay. Besties. Yeah. So we're we've got some stuff to do. We've got to edit this. Probably not tonight. So if you don't see us until Sunday, I'm so so we are so so sorry. So sorry. Which has just been a fucking craziest week. But this is our 10th episode. Yeah.

unknown 44:28

Ow.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

So congratulations to us. That's big. Serena celebrate. If you haven't noticed, we look for any and every reason to celebrate. So that's what we'll be doing. And then also and talk about it. Absolutely. But then hopefully, if we have time and if it's still doing the karaoke, there's an establishment here that I heard a guy that sings there does the karaoke. Sounds like Teddy swims.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

So I'd love to check that out and see what's going on there.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

But so I'm thinking I'll pull off just another manic Monday.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

Oh I wish it were Sunday. We could sing that together. Wouldn't that be fun? It would be fun. Okay. It's a good girl song. It is. Okay, besties. Well, I hope that you have a good rest of your weekends. It's short here, but until the next time, we will definitely be more on time next week. So again, apologize for that. Life happens and thank you for forgiving us.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

Again, you can write in to us at nothing untouchedpod at gmail.com and let us know your thoughts, feelings, takes. Just let us know if you have a bad breakup story. Did you are you the one that broke somebody's heart? Yep. We want to know. We want to hear about it. Are you the dumper or dump dummy? Dumpy. Dumpy or you got what's that? Dumpy or dumper. Dumper. Okay. Dumper. It sounds like thumper. Are you the dumper or the dumpy? Which is it? Let us know.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Also, if you've got ideas for us to shout out there. Also, other podcasters, we'd love to be a fucking guest. And we'd love you for you to be a guest on our show. Absolutely. All right. Okay. Well, we love you all.

SPEAKER_00 46:08

We love you all. Have a good night. Love you, bestie. Bye.