The DM Dumpster Fire!

We catch up on the chaos behind recording a big guest, then swap real-life stories that swing from airport anxiety to a tram moment so funny it turns a whole crowd into an audience. After that, we read our most unhinged dating app messages and break down the red flags, boundaries, and texting behavior that instantly kills attraction. 

• Shouting out Daphne Meeks and the technical issues that nearly derailed the recording 
• Ivy’s short Colorado trip as a reset and a reminder to take the trip anyway 
• The Denver airport tram story and the accidental “muscles save the day” moment 
• Dealing with men begging for nudes and why no still means no 
• The weird dishonesty of dodging simple questions and what it signals 
• Reading ridiculous dating app openers from bland compliments to graphic demands 
• What makes an opener worth replying to and why effort needs follow-through 
• The “send a pic” entitlement spiral and the line where it becomes insulting 

you need to reach out, nothing untouched pod at gmail.com. We are on Facebook, we are on Instagram, we are on TikTok. You have a way to get in connected with us, and so do it. Just fucking do it. 

Transcript

Welcome Back And No Limits

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hey besties, you're listening to Nothing Untouched, the podcast where we overshare, laugh a lot, and talk dating, hookups, and heartbreak, and all the messy moments in between. Hi, I'm Ivy Noor. And I'm Scarlett May. Buckle up, besties. Nothing is off limits.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

All right, besties. We are back for episode four. Oh shit. Is everybody ready for it? So we had a huge, huge guest on our episode three. We had so much fun relating to her in so many different ways. Could not have asked for a better first call-in guest. Not one, not I mean, seriously.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Absolutely not. She was so humble, so wonderful without fucking technical issues. Oh my gosh. I just I I I want to give a huge thank you. Yes. Daffy

Guest Shoutout And Tech Stress

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Meeks. Yes, thank you. Because so much. You you gave us so much grace. Yes. And because we're newcomers and we we no, we're not. We gave you gave us so much grace and wonderfulness.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Here's the thing too. Like Scarlett, I think we all know Scarlett's a little bit more. I mean, we're both perfectionists in our own type of way. Sure. But Scarlett is more so, and she really just wants everything to be perfect all the time. And I'm the one that sits back and says, chill the fuck out.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

I'm so scary.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

Everything's a good thing for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

So I mean, that's just you know what it needs. That's what it has to be. Yeah, we can't be high strung together all the time, can we? Oh my god, I'm so appreciative. So thankful that that doesn't happen because I couldn't imagine. So short story long, long story short, as we all like to say. So when we were trying to have Daphne on as a guest, we actually pre-recorded, we pre-tested a whole day. We tested five hours. No idea how we fucking tested this. Yeah, five hours and then some.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

We weren't just trying to get on there.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

This is preview to her actually coming on.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Absolutely. This is the day before.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Yes. And everything was we were not willy-nilly with this. No, we were down to the T making sure that there was no background. I mean, I'm telling you, everything was perfect. So fast forward to the next day when when we actually have the appointment to have Daphne on at a certain time. And we literally I got to our recording spot an hour and 15 minutes prior to when it was supposed to happen. Absolutely, you did. And we got into it immediately. We started, you know, putting it on testing everything. It was absolutely literally from the from the get-go. We did not change a thing. Not a thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

And from the actually said that. You're like, don't move a single cord.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

I did. Do not move. And I did it. And I was like, we're gonna keep it just like this. Yeah. Because it took us so long. It took us. I mean, my god, it was a full fucking time job. Listen, we have so much fun on this. I'm not gonna, we I'm not taking that away by any means. So anybody that's out there looking to start up a podcast, please do it. Just do it. But just know that it is a full-time job. It is, and it's a lot of work. But anyways, but it's kind of your full-time job. But it's worth it. It is so worth it. Oh, it is. But anyway, so going forward then, so then we found out it wasn't working, couldn't figure it out. We're literally almost an hour, like an hour. An hour and a half late. Well, we were we just got into it about an hour later. Yeah. But we started testing an hour prior, an hour and 15 minutes prior to you know her coming.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

And I was already like stressed. We were stressed, stressed. It was wild, and oh my gosh. I'm looking at I'm looking at Ivy like we were so fucking stressed out. Like, even going into the interview, that I was looking at you like, oh my god. And I feel like so like too much has happened to me.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Yeah, but it didn't. And no, but the show must be amazing. She, yes, and Daphne calmed us down throughout the whole thing. Thank you so much. Oh my god, because we kept in contact, obviously, because we could not not, you know. So you guys had definitely had to go back and listen to our episode three because it was completely amazing. And again, shout out to Daphne Meeks because you're amazing. And we have so many things that we want to touch base on. We have notes upon notes from talking to you. But in the meantime, though, we're gonna go ahead and just share a little bit about our lives.

Ivy’s Colorado Trip And Airport Anxiety

SPEAKER_02 4:43

It's been a hot tonight. It's been two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I know it's been a little bit. Ivy, what what did you do in the meantime of all this? Did you go to Colorado and stuff? No, I did not go to Colorado.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Okay, so I did. I went to Colorado. I actually was invited over with a with a dear friend of mine. Oh, dear friend. Dear friends. Anyway, fuck you. Love you. And I couldn't say no. I was there for a short, basically 48 hours, if not less. I did not sleep much. Yeah. So when we were trying to land in Denver from where I was coming from, there was a bad storm that had come in. So bad that we couldn't land the plane. So we just kept circling. And the passenger that I was sitting next to, of course, had the goddamn, because nowadays didn't know this. Haven't flown since I've been 16 years old internationally. That of course, this guy, like he just kept like showing this goddamn plane that just kept circling circling, circling. Let's all you saw was this plane circling. I'm like, I'm getting fucking dizzy. But the crazy thing was, is that I I literally I got through, you know, getting my bags checked and all that, got it checked in, and I literally had so much anxiety just getting there because it was a three hour drive from where I was to the airport. And so I just everybody can really touch you.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Oh my god. I know.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Oh my god. And then so I go to the first restaurant that I see, and I just sit in my little because I'm a I'm a loner. I just I can be around people, but when I'm in that state of mind, I would much rather just be a little polite with my shelf, so I'm not like weird, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Yeah, because you don't want to be out in some kind of fucking situation.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

So then fast forward, I go to the airport, I'm sitting at the restaurant, and literally, like I said, I'm sitting by myself, and lo and behold, this man shows up and sits right by me. Man, and I was like, John. Oh boy, trying to enjoy my dream before you're not again. Anyways, so I I felt him like looking at me and stuff like that. That was like something. I did. Mom, looking, eyeballs. Get out of there, Scarlet. God, no, so yeah, that's what, and so finally he struck up conversation and lo and behold, found out that he was actually from where I work. Such a great guy, truly, truly so amazing and so helpful.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Well, if he's amazing, he should listen to the pod.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

But here, yeah, I know I didn't tell him about the pod, to be fair. But, anyways, so moving forward, uh, so we so, in order, when you get to the big Denver airport, no matter where you're going, that's where you go you fly into. Well, typically, yes, yeah, and so uh he's he had my back the whole time. We go down these escalators, and like all of a sudden, you've seen like a million people. There was just so many people, and I looked up at him and I'm like, I don't, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

He knew that you were so fucking nervous.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Oh, he knew, yeah. I told him. I said, I've never flown by my I told him the I know he could have taken me and murdered me because you told him my whole life story. He's like, let's just go to my cabin here, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Uh oh, you're by yourself and you're flying alone.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Who are you with? And what are you doing? I'm by myself. He helped me on to the tram that had to like take you all the way to the other end to where you have to be picked up. So, but on the on the tram ride, on the tram,

The Tram Moment That Killed

SPEAKER_02 8:26

not and each other, anyways. So I'm standing there, I have not I'm looking around and I'm like this. I'm like literally like toe-to-toe. I have a video of how like toe-to-toe I am. Really? Um yes, and so I look up and I'm like, oh shit, besides videotaping yourself, bitch, you probably should videotape yours or videotape yourself. You probably should hang on to something. So I look up immediately when I look up to like try to hang on to something. The tram goes forward, and I'm like, uh, ooh, and immediately like look up to see what I'm holding on. Muscular man, and he was sexy, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Finale.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

He was a very and I was like, I looked up that I looked straight into his eyeballs, and I said, Well, I guess if anything else was gonna catch me, it was gonna be these muscles. Oh shit, or whatever I said. I think I change it every time. Who I love that it was something, and literally the whole, the whole trail. I had everybody fucking busting up at me. I would love that. It was the most beautiful moment. It's what everybody fucking needed. So then everybody gets off. I mean not everybody, but I mean I get a little spot in the back or whatever. He's still on there. So we finally get off, and he looks back at me when we get off the train. Things are spectrum, finally, and he said, catch you later.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

My vagina's wet right now. Right now. What vagina is not wet?

SPEAKER_02 9:52

I said, I don't. I'm telling you, you go like, okay, guys, you have to think of this. He was so he obviously, I think he was military or something, so we had like that shaven, tight. What is that called? High tide or whatever you call it. High and tight. We're okay with that. We're okay with high and tight. Yeah, but anyways, high and tight.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

High and tight is what we blue eyes.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

I'm telling you, muscles out the galore. I mean, his arms were fucking huge. Okay so just just a prime moment in my little she like had a moment where she grabbed on. Never would, never would Ivy ever do something like that.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

No, I actually, this is kind of surprising by me. That's why I'm like, okay, what did you grab on to? You're like, my life and my everything, and everything I want to be. And basically is my-try that next time. Next time, actually. His peck titties. Ah, I'm gonna try that next time. His peck titties. Um, so I actually think that you should have said, This is everything for me. And see what he said.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Yeah, the thing of it is though I didn't, but it was so funny, and everybody loved me. And so, I mean, Colorado was amazing, it was beautiful. I only had a short amount of time there, but got to see Garden of the Gods. I'm telling you that when I okay, so even like coming out of the airport and like even driving in Denver. You were feeling it. I was feeling I was emotional. Yeah, I was teary-eyed. I get you, but I yeah, and so I just was so grateful, honestly. I think that's probably why I was so emotional at first, like seeing those mountains, and just as we're driving, I was just so grateful to be in the moment that I was in and having the ability to do what I was doing. So, I mean, so many beautiful things happened that weekend. Oh my gosh, Colorado sounds fucking amazing. I'm so glad you had a great time. I'm telling you right now, like immediately, like I told you, like in the beginning, like it was just it was the most therapeutic trip that I could have in a short amount of time. I just cannot okay. So, everybody out there, I'm telling you right now, if you have a moment, a second to go upon a trip, even if you don't think that is enough time, you have enough time.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yeah, because your trip is literally like eight hours by the I mean, by the after all the fucking traveling. I mean, truly is you're still gonna stand by it because you had amazing time and you didn't regret a single fucking minute. So I just want to do one shout out to you, girl. Thank you, okay, tram guy, if you're out there and you know who you are with the muscles, and Ivy grabbed on to you, yeah, held on for dear life, not on purpose. I swear. She swears by it, but I'd question everything. If she would have grabbed you, grabbed your cock, and that would have been questionable.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

It was it was all circumstance for sure. And I I have videography to prove it, but it's fine, regardless. It doesn't matter. It was if you're out there though, reach out.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

We want to know how you felt because entire tram, is that what we're calling? Tram was laughing and thinking it was. Oh, the whole tram ride, yeah. Yeah, had fun. Hey, if you are that guy and you listen to the pod, give us a call up and we will put you on. I'll be like, come on. Well, how did you feel about her groping the fuck out of you? Like, did you feel like you're getting laid? No. And did you feel like you had to put on a show? Yeah. He did. He bolts up that fucking muscle. You know he did. Oh, hell yeah. He's like, no gym for me today. I just got, I just worked out. I just got this girl up. I held her up. She's like, ooh. She held on a little bit too long. I think probably most likely.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

It was it was truly a beautiful moment. I'm not gonna ever, ever.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

It sounds like pure entertainment for the entire tram writers.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

The tram writers. Tram writers. Oh my god, I fucking love that. Tram writers, okay. Tram, let's patent that fucking tram writers.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

I'm a fucking tram rider too. I'm a tram writer. Yeah, let's go. Tram writers. Tram writing. Yes, oh shit. Hey, besties, we're fucking patenting that shit. Tram writing is a thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

It's on our shirt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

I'm glad you had an amazing trip. I did.

Nude Requests And Dodgy Snap Guys

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Um, so I'm just gonna go into like what I was doing, whether you were having a good time grabbing muscles and getting tram rides. So I actually didn't do a whole lot. I was pretty fucking lame. So this guy, it's just a guy like he's been on my Snapchat for a long time, and he just like we just chat. He always comments on my photos and stuff, like hot eh, huh? Looking good. Well, I know. Yeah, thank you. So he was like, he was like, We never get together, is the thing. Like it's stupid. It's honestly one of those things where it's like it's never gonna fucking happen. I should just take him off. But he's actually interesting to talk to sometimes. But anyway, he I don't know. I had a couple drinks. Surprise, surprise. I mean, I don't know. I don't believe it. I never do it. I believe nothing. I never do it. I think you're lying. It's actually a lie. I can't even, I mean, I do lie, I lie about, I don't lie about wine, though. That's the only thing. No, so he was very, very desperate for a fucking vag pick. Oh. And I I have told him no so many fucking times. I mean, I've said no, no, I am not putting myself out there like that, especially I don't fucking know you. I mean, if we I was in a committed relationship with you and I trusted you, yeah, I wouldn't mind doing that. And he just kept and kept. And I was like, fuck my off. Like, it just annoyed me, honestly, at that point. So, but he was surefire willing to send me like 18 fucking dick pics. So give me like okay, I I will. Okay, so Bessie's out here. Let's let's think of like a ruler. Yeah, I don't know. Pretty fucking close. I mean, I don't know. So a ruler length, it was pretty lengthy. It was the longest one I'd ever seen. It's not like girthy. Yeah, it's not girthy, but it's also wasn't pencil-y. But it was still pencily to me. Well, anyways, I was just like, I don't know if I can hand I don't know. I don't know. So but I I wasn't quite sure if I'm even like totally attracted to him. So I doubt this ever happens. I fucking love it. Yeah, so I don't know if I'm ever gonna put that in me, but it was there.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Okay, I hate it.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

You didn't okay, so I just fucking for a cooch pick. Don't fucking beg for a cooch pick. Listen, if I say no, no means fucking no. Anyway, so I was just like, no, and I'm totally turned off by you. That'll never fucking happen. But here's the other thing. Okay, because I didn't quit talking to missing tooth, guy. Oh, doesn't shock me. So you tell me, Ivy. Let me let me let me feed let me just give you the give it to you, and then you tell me. Which she's actually has the same mindset as I do sometimes. So, Bessies, if I'm totally off base and Ivy's totally off base, please let us know. But we are pretty jaded to these fucking fuck-offs, and we'll lead into that a little bit. He was at some band, and I was like, Oh wow, or who's the band? And he answered me, I think, and and then I'm like, Oh, do you go with a friend or something? And he didn't answer. And then I go, Oh, so you're on a date, and he didn't answer. Yeah. So the question was that that was not the question. The answer was yeah, the answer was most definitely yet. And avoiding the answer, the question was the easiest way for him to have an out. Yeah. So then he has done nothing but non-stop message me, message me on every picture, everything. It's because he probably was, which I don't care. We're not in a we're not in a committed relationship or anything. But hey, why don't you just fucking say it? I don't fucking care. If I was out on a date and he asked me that, I'd be like, Yeah, I am. But that's a red lie, though. Oh, absolutely. Well, he's missing a tooth. So that was the first one. But I just don't understand like why you've done we're I'm not your fucking girlfriend. I'm nothing to you. Why can't you just fucking answer? No, and I'm not even I wasn't even mean or anything. I was just like, oh, you're out on a date. LOL. We're done. We're done with him. And I'm you're done with him. But he has not even caught on to the fact that he has you continue to ask him questions.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

I have not responded to a fucking single message. But he's still he's still, and I used to respond to to a lot of them, not every single one, but I used to be like, oh yeah, thank you. Because he every picture I post, he's like hottie, looking fabulous.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

You look so hot.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

And I'm like, okay, well, the fact that it's been a week and I have not fucking responded to you whatsoever. Absolutely. Like, I know that if I was on a date though, and somebody said that to me, I would say, yeah, I am, because you're not my boyfriend. You're nothing to me. I don't have to answer to you. So why? If he would have just said that instead of ignoring me, I would have way more trust in men.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

But the thing of it is though, then this is avoiding all that. This is avoiding all of them.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

I know, but I'm trying to gain trust in men at some at some point in my life. I have my gosh, right? Don't you?

SPEAKER_02 19:58

So, like fucking regardless of all that, I know, but it's just like, God, why? No, no, no, no. All the all of our bosses out there, no. Okay, yeah. So everything that Scarlett just said, no. Yeah. So negative, all that is it's a guaranteed no. And I get it. I understand. Oh, but you're a people pleaser. We talked about this so many times. Yeah, this is your fucking problem.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

I was committed to that with this guy. I would have responded, and I haven't. I've been holding strong, girl. Girl, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

So I've been holding out.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

So moving on to

Setting The Theme: Unhinged Messages

SPEAKER_02 20:40

that. Yeah, so let's go.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

We're gonna go into our special episode. Yeah. So it is basically what have you guys hey besties, what have you guys gotten in a dating app, a text message, or anything that you find crazy, you find funny, you find fucking off the chains, ridiculous. That's what we're doing today. Based on what we have in our library. Because I got some. I got some.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

All right, let's go. Ivy, let's go with you. You want first? Yeah, let's go. Okay, so my first one comes up. This is I I have to show uh Scarlet the picture, and so now I'm gonna read it.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Okay, you got so in the picture, he's just like looks like a fucking douche.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Douche canoe is what I think he is cute-ish. I don't know. Okay, so happy Saturday to you all. To all? Group chat? Oh, so I'm so sorry. Happy Saturday to you. I hope you your weekend is great. I just got off a 70 hour week and I am going to rest. It's gonna rest recoup like to a Face. I don't even know how to do it. You know emojis. I don't know why. I'm questioning an emoji here.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Because you know emojis. Yummy face. He's tired. It's a tired emoji. That's his first message to you. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

What the fuck? No, it's I don't even know what you do. No, I digress. Okay. No, it's not. Because I had he had messaged me like earlier, and I was like, oh hey, what's up? I should have captivated that, but yeah. No, this ought to captivate on that. Well, then no. I want to know how many best is out there get those kind of messages. So you're you're next. We're gonna go back and forth. We're gonna do this. Yes, we are back

The Most Aggressive Openers

SPEAKER_02 22:42

and forth.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Okay, so I'm gonna give you a little precipice it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

I gotta get one next.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

I won't tell you their name, but I will tell you the age. Because that might have relevance. The reason why is because I go for younger guys.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

I don't know the age on this.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Yeah, no, and that's not a problem. This guy was 30 years old. Okay. So he said his very first message to me was I need to bang those tits. Oh. Very first. Those tits. Those tits. And I was like, not tits, eh? That's not usually. I I do have a picture that has like a like just like my face and bikini top, but no, nothing else. Nothing else. Yeah. So tits probably look pretty good. Okay. So I'm like thinking, what the fuck? So I actually went with it because I was like, oh, maybe he's gonna really get sense of Himma. And he actually does, but he so he proceeded to say he only wants me and nobody else. Bull. I call fucking bull fucking shit. I wasn't born yesterday. Two seconds into it. He's like, yeah. No, we we conversated, but I was like, yeah, I know you probably talked to everybody like that. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Two seconds, like no, I just talked to you like that because that you're all I want. I'm like, fuck off. Nice try. So then moving on. So then I was looking. I w want to look stuff up for this assignment. You know, I'm a very thorough. I know, I like I I very thoroughly will do this assignment because I gave Ivy homework, so I need to do my homework. So ended up. He kept my interest for a really long time over. He did ask me questions about.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Wait, hold on, tea on the field. Well, I responded to your interest.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Well, after I did the assignment, I responded. I I noticed that he had responded to something. It was fucking funny.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

So I had to respond back.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

I know, I know, yeah, so I was gonna slap her for a minute, but then I just like push her.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

So just for she actually did push me. So the last thing, one of the things he did say though, and this is kind of a turn on, you know. He's like, I'll hey, how about I take you out and then I eat you pussy? You know, you know, I'm not fucking okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

So I love that chair. I was like, you do it. And I'm like, man, it's pretty fucking you're dumb. Yeah, so you do. I don't. I'm like, no, I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah, so not gonna happen necessarily, but honestly, he is very good looking. He actually is funny, but I'm not I'm not pursuing this. But it just no, I'm not. I just reminded me when I had to do this assignment that I went

Compliment Spam And Profile Ignoring

SPEAKER_01 25:42

back in and scrolled, and I was like, Oh, I'm hi. Ivy, you're next.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

So uh sucker for curly hair. Love it. Did you have curly hair in the picture? Hold on. I'll sorry. I said, nope, it isn't lol. He said, Okay, you got options, then lol. What the fuck's that mean? What did you do today? And I'm like, What?

SPEAKER_01 26:11

None of that shit made sense. And why do you use LOL after every nothing? Hey, if he was pulling an ivy, he'd just put a fucking smiley face, first of all. And why does he say lol after every fucking sentence?

SPEAKER_02 26:24

For the fans, I do not have natural curly hair. Yes, do I do different things with my hair all the time? 110%. Um we all ladies, yeah. Does it matter with how you want to pursue me? Because I've got the fucking fucking curly hair.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

So fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Does he think like the curls on top is I mean, I'm like, okay, so if I have straight hair, do you not want me then?

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Basically, he's resignating the curls on your head is what's gonna curl around his face. Your your legs are gonna curl around his face. I'm surprised he didn't say something fucking stupid in the second.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

He's kind of cute-ish, but not like not cute. Like, no, get out of there. So the next one is Hi, how are you doing this evening? You strike me as an interesting person. Interesting. Says all that from a picture, and interesting person who is absolutely beautiful with a gorgeous smile and an mesmerizing eyes. How your week, how has your week been starting off?

SPEAKER_01 27:36

So I said to him, Can I can I guess what you responded?

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Smiley face. Um I knew it. I know fucking emoji bitch. Yeah, so I already knew like what the hell. And yeah, love that. Keep going. What did you what else said?

SPEAKER_02 27:58

That that was, I mean, that's smiley face. Yeah, nothing more. I mean, except I'll give him kudos because he tried. Well, he tried. So the thing of it is though, he I have so much in my profile on dating. It's hard to sit for it. I truly do. I know. I know, right? Like, and it's crazy. Like, I just I have so much on my favorite profile. So there is one out there come back with me, like, oh, you like to creek or you like to nature, or you like to something. That's that's what have to be.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah, so that dude, well, we've talked about this before. Usually, if they have nothing to say, they didn't even fucking look at your profile. Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

So that's my next one. So, like, so hi love. I said, uh, so I actually responded hi there, because I didn't know what else to do. He was cute, he is cute, and so then he said, How's your night going? And I never responded back. So just so you know, hi love.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Do not ask about her evening or fucking night or morning, don't fucking ask about nothing.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

The next one, if I may, yeah, go for it. Okay, is you're really pretty. Thanks. Okay, I know. Have you seen how it's going? Have you seen it? Literally says that.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Have you seen um, you know what? I just saw the first picture. No, well, just because he's cute. He's cute, but that that's just like a like the muscles, yeah. Well, the tramp guy, he's like, Well, yeah, we know this was a different guy. He literally says, This is the oldest line I've ever heard, and he was 28. He says, What's cooking good looking?

SPEAKER_02 29:57

And I was like, my question is like, so men that like interrupt your life or whatever, like come into your life, like, what is it that really intrigues you? Like, what do you what do you what makes you want to like stick around and be like, yeah, keep conversating?

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, exactly. Well, what I'm completely different than you because the guys that know the guy, well, the guys that do ask about my evening, I'm more than willing to share, yeah, I've been sitting around, did dishes. I mean, I don't say boring shit like that, but I do respond back to them because I sometimes my opener isn't glamorous. Yeah, it's like, hey, how was your weekend? I, you know, stuff like that. Well, no one's gonna reel you in with like, well, how good looking, well, it's cooking. Or what they I don't know, it's different than how's your evening? What do you think? Well, how good looking how's cooking? What would be our ideal opener if you this don't put and you can think about it?

SPEAKER_02 31:07

I'm gonna do it. Oh, you have it. Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect. Not perfect, but like a good one.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

So did this guy ever did you guys ever meet up? Or no, okay. Never once, yeah. Darn it. It was probably that hey

Desperate Double Texting Red Flags

SPEAKER_01 31:23

good looking what's cooking that probably got in your pants, wasn't it? You're like, steak at your place tonight. This guy would not like quit messaging me, and I didn't respond to any of them. And it wasn't because I didn't want to respond, it's because he he sent me so many messages in a short amount of time and didn't gave me no time to respond. Oh first message. Okay, so his first message was hi. And then the next message, which was hours later, good morning. Another couple hours, you good. This is somebody I don't know. This is somebody on a dating app. Yeah, and then a few hours later, he says hi again, and then another one, hi hon, and then yet another before I even get a chance to respond. Hello, you good, I don't know you at all. And yeah, I live a life, I don't just sit on this fucking dating app waiting for you to fucking respond.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

And that is one that I will tell you right now that I will be like, nope. Oh, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

I was like, This guy's got something wrong with him. What the fuck? I mean, like, I get, yeah, so I get the whole like you're you want to reach out to me because I'm wonderful. I get it. And he's like, I'm great, like, um, yeah, I gotta get with this girl, I gotta get with her, but fucking give it a minute. That's just desperation. It's screaming desperation.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

I'm gonna go into this one. It says, if

The Old Gods Opener And Letdown

SPEAKER_02 33:05

we're one of the old gods, I actually like this. I'm just saying this is the one that you that we do. I do like this one. Okay. What's cooking looking? If you were on the old three gods, what three things would one have to collect in order to perform the rituals required to summon you? Oh my, that was a mount high.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

That is, it is so I agree with that because it's it's a different take on how's your evening. So you respond to it.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Yeah, it's high. And so I actually got hot for my boy.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

You're like, did he just refer to me as a motherfucking goddess? Because I've been waiting to be called a goddess for 42 years. So you responded to him, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Did I say that? Yeah, do it, please. So I said, is Chinese antique with a mysterious past?

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Oh, oh, I like that response. Like, I would have said, good. Wait a minute. What was the emoji you added on there? No emoji. No emoji.

unknown 34:21

Damn it.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

I was hoping for like angel wings or some bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Halo or devil, a devil. A strong coffee. Okay. And three is a promise to make me laugh until I snort. Perform the ritual and at sunset, and I may appear.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Whoa! You put some thought into that, didn't you? How long did it take you to respond to that? 10, 20 a day. Ah, you had to match. Well, you had to match his cleverness. Yeah. So that I would, I would beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Yes. I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

You did an amazing job on it. But you know what? I over well, we both know we both overthink. I know. But yes. I would have like been so anxiety-filled because I would have felt like I had to make such a great response, but yours was great.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

So the only thing that like I was like, I was done with him because he all he said was, ha ha, good answer.

SPEAKER_01 35:25

I'm like, What? After all that work for a day, he has no idea how much time and effort you include that shit.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

You have no idea who I am. So no.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Sorry to be. If you are, you know what? You know what he did? He fucking chat GBT'd that shit. What a dick. No, if if actually he must have got that line from some shit because if you can't come up with an excellent response to your response, yeah, then it's fake. Yeah. He he don't he can't conversate. He can't he can't match you. But it's funny that you spent all that fucking time to get ha ha ha. Great response. Great. Thanks. I know. Let's keep going with this. Check out. I was go on. I was pretty turned on. So let's keep going with this. Gotta step. I was really yeah, yeah. If he would have kept with it. That's really hot. I know.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

That's hot.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

God, what a letdown. Maybe he was turned off by the snort stuff. No, you think? What are you no? Okay. So I have another one. This guy was actually a complete fucking asshole. And I didn't even know how to like go about it with him.

When “Send A Pic” Turns Ugly

SPEAKER_01 36:42

He texts me and he said, What you doing besides turning me on? And I'm like, Oh boy. Here we go. I'm so glad this is fuck face. Gots my number. Gots my number. So I said, here's my boring response. Finishing up some emails, then bed, you well, I was not gonna like keep, I'm like, I don't know. I barely know what you say. So he says, laying in bed listening to the crickets, imagining what you'd be wearing if you were next to me. So will you and I and then he said, You can't send a simple. I he said, send me something. And I said, no thanks. And the reason why I said no thanks, first of all, we barely know no, I'm not gonna send him something. Absolutely not. And then he goes, You can't send a simple pick. Why do you need one? You have the pictures. He has the pictures that those are me. Here we go. But don't question that. I don't care if you fucking question that, but those are me, and you no, he didn't want a simple picture. He wanted the picture.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

No, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

And and then he responds, I didn't. He goes, need to? What the fuck? Wow. This is a fucking psycho. I was like, you got fucking anger issues. Didn't I didn't respond? I should have blocked him. I have, I have since I wish, yeah. So he then he a day later, he must have been stewing on it. Just stewing. Because he goes, Do you not understand that guys want photos? You do realize your looks are the best thing about you.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

What the fuck? You don't even know me, fuck face. Yeah, and I'm like, kidding me right now. I want there's so many things I wanted to respond with. Trust me.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

No, don't.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

I must send you nudes if I'm fucking ready. If you ask me in the heat of the moment, I will not fucking do it.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

Don't beg me either. And it won't be good. Because guess what? Begging is desperation. It's so gross and ick and all the things. Don't do it. Um, and don't tell me that my pictures of the good about me.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Be a fucking better human fucking being.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Yeah. Point blame, period. Oh, I did have a guy just sent me a uh ring, just a diamond ring. That's it. So no response. I gave him the response. It's like really besties. Let us know how that fun how how you how do you get responded to? How do you how do what are your openers? What are these guys' openers? I want to I want to know how guys open or women open because my openers is like, how is your beacon?

Listener Submissions And Where To Reach Us

SPEAKER_01 39:41

The other thing is too, you need to reach out, nothing untouched pod at gmail.com. We are on Facebook, we are on Instagram, we are on TikTok. You have a way to get in connected with us, and so do it. Just fucking do it. Why? Why?

SPEAKER_02 39:57

But why not? God. We love you. We love you. Good night.