The Keeper of the Cats

The Keeper of the Cats
Unseen Parliament with Rich Bunn

What if the Palace of Westminster had its own official Keeper of the Cats? 

In this episode, Rich Bunn lifts the curtain on one of the more surreal but entirely real debates inside Parliament: whether deploying cats could solve its long-standing rat and mouse problem. Not in the distant past, but seriously proposed as recently as 2025. It had everything modern politics loves. Environmental credentials, public appeal, and undeniable social media charm.

So why didn’t it happen?

Rich takes you inside the argument. From senior figures quietly backing the idea, to operational staff raising very practical concerns about fur, damage, hygiene, and the small matter of cats disappearing into a thousand-room gothic labyrinth. Including, yes, the suggestion that a dedicated “Keeper” could track them via geotagging collars.

But this isn’t just about cats.

This episode explores the hidden ecosystem of the Palace of Westminster. A sprawling, half-medieval, half-crumbling Victorian complex that sits beside a river, houses multiple kitchens, and quietly sustains a remarkable cast of animals. 

A building that looks like a symbol of order and authority from the outside, is operating more like a slightly chaotic ecosystem on the inside.

Sharp, funny, and quietly revealing, this episode blends insider knowledge with the kind of detail you won’t find on any official tour. And while the Keeper of the Cats never quite materialised, you may find yourself wishing they had.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The Keeper of the Cats Imagine the official keeper of the cats of Parliament. Perhaps you see what I see a frock coat, a brightly coloured waistcoat, and the kind of chain most people would have a fob watch on, but which for the keeper of the cats is attached to some kind of exciting cat toy. This is Unseen Parliament. Stories from inside the Palace of Westminster. I'm Rich Bunn. There is no official keeper of the cats of Parliament, of course. That role doesn't exist. But if you think the concept sounds completely fanciful, I can tell you that it was genuinely proposed as a real job at the Palace of Westminster. And this was not a hundred years ago, not fifty years ago, but about a year ago. The question of whether or not cats can be used to keep the rat and mice populations down at Parliament has been asked many times, and it's been asked formally in the Chamber as recently as 2025. In fact, the idea is one that certain very important people at the House of Commons are extremely keen on. And whilst it would probably be indiscreet of me to say who, I can tell you that when it was raised in the chamber in 2025, it was taken very seriously. It was proposed, after all, as environmentally friendly, likely to be popular with the public and great for social media. All things politicians are very keen on. The pushback from the House staff was that the cats would cause damage. They might shed the fancy furnishings and fabrics that are in many places in Westminster. They might get onto the seats and leave little treats, perhaps from the cat's mouth or perhaps from the other end. Not only that, but of course they might get lost, hungry or injured. Now, instead of that being the end of the matter, the counter to that counter argument was that in that case there could be a keeper of the cats. It would be his, her or their job to know where the cats were at all times. With geotagging on the collars, there could be someone following the cats around, making sure they were safe and fed and happy. Ultimately, of course, there are a lot of reasons why you can't just allow cats to wander around the Palace of Westminster, which is a sprawling, thousand room, half medieval palace, half crumbling Victorian club with over three miles of corridor. But there is something almost tokensian about the sheer level of infestation which fluctuates at the palace, and indeed in the variety of the menagerie of animals that you can find there if you know where to look. Of course we have the perennial problem with rats and mice because it's old and it's got lots of nooks and crannies and tasty wires, and it's next to a river and it does catering on site. I think there's something like fifteen kitchens at Parliament, although not all of them are in active use. There are lots and lots of other animals too that the pest controllers of Parliament stay vigilant over. There are, for example, a lot of pigeons, and because there are a lot of pigeons, there is a falcon keeper for parliament. And again I find something medieval and wonderful about that idea, soaring above the seats of power in this country. They aren't always careful to stay in line with the glamorous image I have in my head. I seem to remember last year there were a couple of instances where the falcons bit the heads off pigeons and then dropped those heads onto tourists. There's also seagulls. There are periodic infestations of something called a silverfish, which is a very tiny animal that likes to eat glue, and is something that libraries are tremendously scared of, rightly so, and there are some wonderful libraries in Parliament. The one that always captivates my imagination is the one in the House of Lords, which is straight out of a fantasy novel, with its huge wooden bookcases and leather chairs and high shelves and special ladders. It's wonderful, it's very beauty in the beast. There are, of course, a lot of approved animals, particularly dogs. There are guide dogs and sniffer dogs and patrol dogs, and there are people who live in Parliament, because there are positions that come with apartments, and of course those people bring pets. Most notably the current Speaker of the House of Commons, Sir Lindsay Hoyle, is very fond of animals, and has cats. I think he has a dog, he certainly has a tortoise and a parrot. And then there are horses for weddings, uh the household cavalry comes for state opening, an occasional fox. Personally, I like that there are so many animals hiding in the Palace of Westminster. If we had appointed a keeper of the cats, I would have had a lot to do with them, and consequently I was one of the people who didn't think it was a great idea. But I have to admit that on my more whimsical days, I can't help but kind of wish we'd got one after all. Thanks so much for listening through to the end. I'm Rich Bunn, and if you've enjoyed this podcast, please think about subscribing or sharing with a friend. They're published every Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye.