Episode 50 Awakenings In Real Life – Dan Cohen (Part 2)

Episode 50

Awakenings In Real Life – Dan Cohen (Part 2)

What if the person you thought you lost… was still there?

In Part 2 of our powerful conversation with Dan Cohen, author of Awakenings In Real Life, we dive deeper into the extraordinary moments that inspired his book and the lessons that came from witnessing his father’s awakening from dementia.

After years in the grip of dementia, Dan experienced a moment that changed everything — a brief but powerful return of awareness that reminded his family that the man they loved was still inside.

But this episode is about more than that moment.

It’s about the many “mini awakenings” that happen throughout life — the small realizations, the quiet lessons, and the moments of perspective that shape who we become.

In this episode Buzz and Dan explore:

• Why people living with dementia should never be written off
 • The remarkable horse racing moment that proved awareness can still exist
 • How writing Awakenings In Real Life helped Dan process the journey with his father
• Why memories are a choice and how we choose to remember our loved ones
• The importance of empathy, perspective, and listening to people’s stories
• Why everyone deserves to be heard

Dan also shares a powerful message for anyone who still has their parents with them today.

Make time for them.

Life moves quickly. Work, family responsibilities, and the daily grind can distract us from the people who matter most.

But as Dan reminds us, time with our parents is priceless — and once it's gone, we never get it back.

World Who Is Your Hero Day – March 19

This episode also leads us into something special.

March 19 is World Who Is Your Hero Day.

The challenge is simple:

Take 19 minutes out of your day and tell someone why they matter to you.

It could be your parents, partner, children, siblings, or even a friend who helped you through a difficult time.

Because sometimes the most powerful words we can say are the ones we never get around to saying.

Support the Podcast

If you enjoy Who Is Your Hero and would like to support the show, you can help us keep sharing these powerful stories.

You can support the podcast through:

• Patreon
• GoFundMe
• Sharing the podcast with friends and family

Every share, listen, and message helps grow the community and allows these stories to reach people who may need them.

Listen Now

🎧 Episode 50 – Awakenings In Real Life (Part 2) with Dan Cohen is available now on all major podcast platforms.

And remember…

Your hero might be closer than you think.

Take the time to tell them.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:57

All right, legends, welcome back to Who Is Your Hero? This is part two of my conversation with Dan Cullen, author of Awakenings in Real Life. If part one touched your heart, this chapter goes even deeper. Because now we move from the pain of watching someone fade to the extraordinary moments that make you stop and ask. What if they're still more awake than we think? What if they're feeling more than we realize? What if the person we think we've lost is still there, still listening, still hoping, and still wanting life? And that's where this conversation gets powerful. Because Demetri is often spoken about like a full stop. Like once the diagnosis lands, that's it. Like the person is gone, like the story is over, like we should all quietly accept that the light has gone out. But Dan's story says something different. It says, maybe, just maybe we need more compassion. Maybe we need more patience. Maybe we need to stop writing people off just because their mind no longer works the way ours does. Because this because in this episode, Dan shares the astonishing moments where his father, deep in the grip of dementia, still showed signs of awareness, still picked up on family milestones, still had instincts, still had emotion, and in one forgettable moment, even picked a winner at the races. Now on paper, that sounds like a small thing: a horse race, another interform guide, a smile at the finish line. But when you understand the context, it becomes something much bigger. It becomes proof that the under the fog, under the decline, under the frustration and confusion, there is still life in there. There is still feeling in there. There is someone in there. And that's what this episode is really about. Not just the awakening itself, but all the mini awakenings that surround it. The little moments, the things we overlook, the lessons that are sitting in front of us every day that we don't fully appreciate until later. And Dan talks beautifully about that. How his father's miraculous return to clarity didn't just become a story on its own. It opened the door to a whole lifetime of other awakenings. Lessons about family, about kindness, about memory. Lessons about showing up, about acceptance, about how to remember someone not for the worst chapter in their life, but for the best of who they were. And make that hits hard. Because all of us, every one of us, are guilty of getting caught in the daily grind. We get busy, we get distracted, we put things off. We assume there'll be another visit, another Sunday lunch, another phone call, another chance to say the things that matter. And then life taps you on the shoulder, sometimes gently, sometimes brutally, and says, wake up. That's what this episode is about, too. Awakenings aren't always huge dramatic moments. Sometimes they are. Sometimes it's a doctor telling you the truth you didn't want to hear. Sometimes it's nearly losing someone. Sometimes it's nearly losing yourself. But sometimes an awakening is just a quiet recognition. A moment of awareness, a shift in perspective, a small voice saying, slow down, look closer, love harder, cherish this, this moment matters. And in this conversation, Dan and I go right there. We talk about why he turned his story into a book, why writing it helped him process his father's journey, why the memories are choice, and why inclusions matter so much when someone living with dementia and why the people we love should never be reduced to their illness. We also touch on something that sits right at the heart of this whole podcast: the idea of the one. The one person in your life that has your back, the one person you can turn to, the one person who sees you fully, and how over time the love and wisdom from that person can actually help you become your own hero. Now that's a big concept. And if you really listen to this episode, you'll hear that it isn't just a conversation about Dan's father. It's a conversation about all of us, about what we notice, about what we ignore, about what we remember, and about how much richer life becomes when we stop waiting for disaster to teach us what was already in front of us. So if you've got parents still here, if you've got someone aging, if you've got someone you haven't called in too long, or you've been busy, too proud, too distracted to, I'll get to it next week, sort of stuff, then maybe this is your moment. Maybe this is your awakening. This is part two of Dan Cohen, author of Awakenings in Real Life, a conversation about memory, meaning, mini awakenings, and the priceless truth that people we love are often still reaching for us, even when the world thinks they've disappeared. I'm Buzz. This is Who is Your Hero and Legend. Let's get into it where we left off.

SPEAKER_06 6:06

She's absolutely right.

SPEAKER_04 6:08

Yeah. It doesn't matter what you think at this moment. You're here for a week. Let him think what he wants to think because that's his journey. He's so it it's not really about the story, it's about you being here and he's he's still here with us. And yeah, so for you to bring up that point for my listeners to have a fair bit more a compassion of someone that mightn't be projecting what you want to hear, uh still they're still there. Yeah, that little story you told about when he you come into the awakening and talked about your brother's children and how well they're going, but that happened when he had dementia is is quite inc incredible. It says to me, and it says, hang on, you can't write these these people off, they still get it. And and wanting to live. I mean, that's that's huge where we think they want to die.

SPEAKER_06 6:58

Yes, exactly right. And uh um if you take it in that perspective, you will include them in life. And I think it's it's important to do so. I really I think it's good for you. I think it's g good for the person that's going through it, and I think it's important. And i I could tell you one other very quick story about horse racing that's related to that, if we have some fun.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

I love it because my father loves the horses.

SPEAKER_06 7:27

That's another thing we have in common.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

He's still every Saturday. You can't ring him. He all week he's studying the phone and he's there.

SPEAKER_06 7:35

Oh, it's incredible. Go on. Do you want to hear something interesting? Yeah. So dementia runs in stages. I never got caught up what stage he was in because, and some people do. I said, I don't need to know exactly what stage he's in. I know what's going on with my father. I don't need a doctor to tell me. But I had another way of noticing his dementia. Like I said, he was a pretty good handicapper. Usually we would go, there would be one race, he was pretty sure which horse was going to win. Usually, you know, it had the best odds and paid the least, but he was six out of ten times he would win. I would watch him what he circled on the form. And as the years went by, he circled less and less, you know, like the time, the winning. And towards the end, he was just looking at the odds of the horses, you know. So that's in a sense how weird, how I judge his dementia. But um the year before he passed away, I'm over his house. He lived about two hours away. And out of nowhere, he said, I want to go to the track. Well, I knew three seconds later he'd forget he'd ask, right? But I said, you know what? I'm gonna take him one more time. So at this point, my mother wasn't driving. I had to drive from New Jersey two hours to get him, back to New Jersey to the track. I took my children and my mother. My mother would go to the horse racing track and read a book, right? So we're there. And we said, Dad, who do you want in the first race? So he says, so he says, number seven. You pick the number. My mother looks up from her book and says, he doesn't know what he's doing. That's the longest. It was like a 40 to one shot. He doesn't know what he's doing. And my son said, Grandma, when grandpa is sure a horse is gonna win, you know that horse is gonna win. And I said, Yeah, mom. When dad is sure about a horse, you know, we were clearly tongue in cheek. So we put a little bigger bet than normal, right? So the horses go. This horse is in last place the whole way. All of a sudden, down the stretch, it comes out of nowhere, wins by a nose. An incredible thing. My father shows no emotion during a race. My son says, Grandpa, our horse won. The biggest smile came on his face. And that made the whole, the whole day worth it just to see his smile. And he picked the winner. And he picked the winner, yeah. He didn't know what he was doing, but he picked the winner.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

When did you decide, when did you when did you decide this this story needed to become a book?

SPEAKER_06 9:58

So that yeah, so I told you, so after the uh thing, I wrote this article that I shared. But I've been a businessman my career and and I had my own company in the last few years I was doing consulting. When my last consulting gig ended, and I was looking for new opportunities. I said, you know what, I like to write. Why don't I write a book? Um, but I didn't think this story was enough of a story to write a book. But when I started to think about that event and look back on our life with my father and the family, it brought me to various what I call like mini awakenings. There are the number of sharing stories I share that, like I said to you before, the, you know, my father was, like I told you the story about when to fight a bully and when not, the great problem solver. Um, I tell stories about the importance of showing up, the importance of kindness. I call them almost like mini awakenings. And I said, you know what? I'm gonna write a book called Awakenings in Real Life. And I it says, when my father woke up from dementia, it woke me up too. And then what I did, I let what they call these reflect pages. So I wanted to make the reader the part of the book, especially if they were a caregiver. And I left lines for them and I prompted them to reflect upon their own situations, like when was it a time you accepted what was going on with your loved one? You know, when was the time you included them? And for each chapter, I gave a prompt for them to think about their life with their family. And I I've enjoyed writing it. It's been a labor of love.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Would you um did the process help you process your own feelings about what happened to your father?

SPEAKER_06 11:47

Absolutely. It was it was like cathartic to write the book and to share stories about him and the family. Like you said, it's almost, and I never thought about it as leaving a legacy. My brother said to me, one day, he says, when you're long gone, the book will still be here and and hopefully read, and hopefully read. But yeah, it helped me process the whole thing. I have a chapter in it called Memories. And I said, it's, you know, a lot of people may remember their loved one they were in the end, you know, but you can choose what kind of memories to have. So I never when I think of my father, I don't think of the man in the throes of dementia. I think of the man that was, you know, my hero that was there for me my whole life. And and that's another prompt I said to people, you can choose how you remember someone, you know. How would you remember your loved one? And you don't have to remember the bed. You can choose to remember the living. And and you know, what that does for me is I feel my father's presence all the time. Like when my father passed, my father my mother couldn't look at a picture of him. I never had that experience. I I mean, I always feel his presence with me. So uh I think that's important too.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

Yeah, my my next my next question was what what message did you hope the readers would take away with the story? You you probably didn't write it for that reason, but you've just described that um a lot of us in the negative or the positive in our great mindset quite often love to dwell on shit things, to put it bluntly. Right circumstances. But if you can change that mindset to think back about all the good stuff that happened, that person's never leaving you.

SPEAKER_06 13:33

Yes, that's important. Like I said, some of the other chapters about, you know, sharing how you feel about someone. I have another chapter called Perspectives. I used to say I'm the middle child. Wow, nobody in this world has that kind of relationship with my father. Ah, he, you know, he and I have the greatest relationship in the world. And when he had we had the 75th birthday surparty, and my brother spoke about him, my sister spoke to him, they felt the exact same way, you know? So it's interesting that if you can learn perspectives, that people have different perspectives, and that, you know, not only can you have more empathy towards people, especially if you can appreciate different points of view and different perspectives. So um there's a lot of things I think that you can learn and uh that I wanted to share in the book as well.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

All right, Townsville, listen up. Let's have a short break and talking about if you're thinking about cooking this week, don't. Rob and Katie at the Australian Hotel have already done the hard work. This is how the week rolls. Smash Burger, crispy chips, pot of beer, Monday night, 20 bucks. Tuesday's 400 gram rump chip salad gravy, 20 bucks. 400 grams, that's not a snack, that's a damn commitment. Wednesday, 19 bucks, pot and palmy, midweek sorted, hump day's gone. Thursday, steak, sangarin chips, 15 bucks. Tradies office crew and anyone with taste buds, that's your lunch and dinner sorted. And Friday, the 50 cent wing ding special. Yes, 50 cents a wing, six flavours, bring you back up. And if you stay light long enough, I think you can shuck some oysters. Not the other thing, you can shuck them after four to five o'clock, I think. Sunday, Irish spice bag and a pint of Guinness, just to get rid of the Saturday night, maybe hung over tour of the thing, 30 bucks. That's a comfortable food done probably. Rob and Katie just aren't running specials. They're keeping Townsville fed without smashing the wallet. So get into the Aussie Hotel, support local legends, grab your mates and tell them Buzz sent you. Australian Hotel, mates looking after mates. And don't forget punters, hero up. Have people reach out to you after reading it with similar experiences?

SPEAKER_06 15:52

Yeah. I get uh I uh I I give my email, my it's which is info at awakenings in real life. I I want people to share their stories with me if they want to share their memories with me. And I've gotten a lot of stories that, and to me, it's not just limited to someone going through dementia or Alzheimer's. It could be any mental illness or even physical illness as a caregiver. You need to learn these same things. And again, uh the message that was really heartening to me is a lot of people found reading it, found hope that their suffering loved one uh maybe did appreciate life. And and they and, you know, whatever they picked up on my message of inclusion or acceptance, it's it's been very heartwarming. And I didn't write it for that reason. I wrote it because I wanted to share this incredible story, and then I wanted to share other family stories, but with the help of an editor, she said, you know, they're really all tied together in these mini awakenings. And, you know, you could ask the reader to join you on this journey. So it's been very uh heartwarming the responses I've got to it. It really, it it really has, and um, I've gotten some lovely reviews, and that feels good.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

Yeah, and I think we when you've got to the stage of doing of doing it, this one thing we talked about earlier, you you've now ri written this in in history for uh your generations of your family to come, your your kids, their kids, their kids, so on, and they always can really look at, you know, what what great great great great great grandpa did in his in his life. But you basically described that because you've written this in all these chapters, you've come back to that your life, your life and his life and your family's life was full of mini awakenings, but you almost didn't know they were mini awakenings till you wrote the book.

SPEAKER_06 17:54

That's a thousand percent right. Exactly true.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

That should be we don't cherish those awakenings because we really don't actually know they are, but lost full of them, eh?

SPEAKER_06 18:05

Because you know, when I said, boy, we have some great family stories, and I include a lot of them, I said, why would someone be interested in my family stories? But then when I really thought about it and said, everybody has similar stories. I mean, not the exact same thing, but but different things. And and if I can point out what I learned from that event, you know, and encourage the people to reflect themselves, I bring them as part of the prices. But you're absolutely right. I didn't tie it all together until I I wrote the book.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

Yeah, and um that leads me to uh something we've been talking into the lead up of uh this uh this this yarn we're having. And it's it's the reason I started Who Is Your Hero? It's pretty much the same sort of stuff as we're talking about in the synodies, but you mentioned the last chapter in your book. Uh, could you talk about that a little bit more to our listeners?

SPEAKER_06 18:59

Yeah, I uh and it was so incredible that when we got together and your podcast is called Who Is Your Hero, right? The last chapter of my book is called Who Is Your One? And what happened was is that it was around COVID time. My father had been gone four years at the time, and I was speaking to a friend, and I was going through a rough time, and I said, Boy, I really wish my father was around to be there for me. And his response was, we are our fathers. Um, and what he was saying is, you know, we're of an age where we've learned and we have wisdom and we can handle our own problems. And I said, Yeah, he's right. And I went to another friend, and and she said, you know, we we've learned from our fathers that their wisdom has become part of us. And I said to myself, yeah, that's true, but I don't 100% agree. I don't think there's any statute of limitations of having that one in your life, that person who's there for you, um, no matter what you are. And um I think it's this uh person who has no agenda when it comes to you and and wants you to surpass them in what they do. So I wanted to ask you a question, Matthew. And and I uh do you think there's a difference between someone being your quote unquote one and someone being your hero? Are those the same or could they be different? What is your feelings on that?

SPEAKER_04 20:34

All right, Townsville, listen up. Let's have a short break and talking about if you're thinking about cooking this week, don't. Rob and Katie at the Australian Hotel have already done the hard work. This is how the week rolls. Smash Burger, crispy chips, pot of beer, Monday night, 20 bucks. Tuesdays, 400 gram rump chip salad gravy, 20 bucks. 400 grams, that's not a snack, that's a damn commitment. Wednesday, 19 bucks, pot and palmy, midweek sorted. Hump day's gone. Thursday, steak, sangarin chips, 15 bucks. Tradies office crew and anyone with taste buds, that's your lunch and dinner sorted. And Friday, the 50 cent wing ding special. Yes, 50 cents a wing, six flavours, bring you back up if you stay light long enough. I think you can shuck. Some oysters, not the other thing, you can shuck them after four to five o'clock, I think. Sunday, Irish spice bag and a pint of Guinness, just to get rid of the Saturday night maybe hung over tour of the 30 bucks. That's a comfortable food done probably. Rob and Katie just aren't running specials. They're keeping Townsville fed without smashing the wallet. So get into the Aussie Hotel, support local legends, grab your mates, and tell 'em buzz sent you. Australian hotel. Mates looking after mates. And don't forget pun is hero up. Well, I think that can be different because my my hero uh is myself. I know that everyone inside themselves they were born being their own hero. Okay, but at times through circumstances and things human beings do, and sometimes not the most uh respectable things that I mean we're human, we we do stuff that that we're not happy with at times, but it happens and s and and you can lose the hero within. Um but it never leaves you, it just goes away for a moment. And some people call it self-esteem, some people call it confidence, some people call it worth. Right. To be your own hero, you you you need to be very, very healthy so you can help others. Um you need to be worthy and you need to have a why. And when you're talking about the one, to me, taking it on board what you're talking about is is is that one person that that I can always rely on that I can still be my own hero, and my father is that. My father is that just a small story. When I left Melbourne a week ago, my father was never a a um cuddly person, a hugger, anything like that. Like, you know, when we were young, blokes weren't allowed to hug. I meet most of my good friends now, not with a handshake with a hug.

SPEAKER_05 23:32

Right.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

Now, 15 or 20 years ago, I didn't do that because there's city thing, oh, you can't hug blokes.

SPEAKER_06 23:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 23:39

But I think you believe you can only h hug a bloke if you love yourself and your your own hero. But my father was never that. He was never emotional, he's never like that. He said just get the job done. Or if you're in trouble, tell me. But I was at the airport, ready to fly back to Townsville on the Sunday afternoon after spending a week with him, and my phone was on mute because I don't like them ringing at airports, and he rang and he left a voy message. A voice message and it said, and I'll be pretty emotional because he's never done this in his life. I just left him from a bus trip for two hours from his place, and he sent a voice message saying, I miss you already. See that? Yeah, I miss you already. Now he'd he's not a guy that I hug still. I don't kiss kiss my father, anything. I never have none of his kids. You know, I'd be surprised if the girls, my sisters, get hugs off him. But to send this message, I miss you already, was an awakening to me. Right. Next time I go down there, I don't give an absolute rat's bum shit anything. I'm gonna walk in and hug this man. That's my father, and tell him I love him.

SPEAKER_06 24:45

I think that's great. I think that's great. And I have to tell you something, I think the way you express it, that you're your own hero, I I think that's fabulous. Because people always think of other people being a hero. Mike, to ask me that question, I would say my father is my hero. But by but if everybody can think of themselves as their own hero, you're right, all those things flow with it. Plus, you say to yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to. And now my father used to tell his children two things. One, as long as you try your best, it's okay. And two, whatever you set your mind to, you could do. And those seem to be contradictory because as long as you do your best, you may not be but they're really not if you think about it. But I think that's great.

SPEAKER_04 25:31

Because um I think you've given me another another um look at all this because yes, the the you need the one which you're describing to that one person to look upon to become your own hero.

SPEAKER_06 25:51

Right? It makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

When you find that hang on a minute, that one, like our fathers, have made us become our own heroes. Um two things can happen here. You can make so many more heroes because you're that confident and you're at peace with life. I mean, I I I could never say to to when I was 20 playing professional sport, I love myself.

SPEAKER_05 26:22

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

You know, that term there, I love myself is arrogant, up yourself uh or whatever, but it's actually not. No. And it it it's actually not, it's actually a really good piece place to be. Now, this only happened to me because I nearly died.

SPEAKER_05 26:38

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

You know, I was pretty well with everything and all that, but I still wasn't. I thought I was, and a lot of people think they are, but you know what, you're not. And it took an awakening, like a doctor saying, if you didn't come here, you've got 24 hours to live, we've got to put this thing down your tube. I don't know how successful it's gonna be, but we'll we'll that's all we can do. We've gotta we've got to take your poison blood out, and we've got to give you chemotherapy, and we've got to give you a blood transfusion. And me, as I spoke of, I'm totally against all that medical shit. Right. But I just had to be submissive and say, you know what, this is out of out of my control. You know, and ever since that day, I used to make my own decisions that sometimes were good and bad, and I'd force myself to go to work and all that type of thing. Now, I let the circumstance or the universe tell me what's happening for my day.

unknown 27:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

I go with I go with the flow. I mean, this is a typical example. I uh I tuned into you probably 74 hours ago, and it feels like I've known you for my life. Absolutely right.

SPEAKER_06 27:41

And you're right, and you know what the shame of it though is, and it's it it's interesting that I told you you describe it as awakenings, and I'm also telling people's awakening stories. If the message should be we don't and I had a cancer scare, thank God it wasn't cancer, and I remember saying, Oh, I'm gonna do things differently, I'm doing the if we can do these kind of things without having that awakening, you know, then like the things that you learned and the things that I'm sharing, it's it's hard for people when they're in the daily grind of their life, you know, they're working or they're raising a family. It's hard to look at the perspective, but if you can, I think it can make things more meaning. You don't shouldn't only have those kind of moments to, in a sense, wake yourself up.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

You know, if I wasn't this tough, tough, Aussie, six foot three, fifty-six-year-old bloke that I can't be harmed for the best part of my life and had to go into the bloody doctor and got a blood test every year or six months, I wouldn't have had this awakening. So I got talking about it's 100% true. I use this example that you go and get your car service every two thousand kilometers or three years, yeah?

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:51

Because that's what they tell you to do. Or but do you go to your doctor and look after your body and get it serviced every six months? We we we're booking our car service, but we won't book in our health service.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 29:04

And that's true. Because we're saying we're too busy doing this, helping people. But if you if you're not healthy or worthy, you this now went on. Look, I was helping people when I wasn't right. And I believe now I was using it as a a camouflage to hide and project a lot of the things that weren't going right in my life.

SPEAKER_06 29:21

Interesting.

SPEAKER_04 29:22

But now that but it needed a waiting. I don't recommend to anyone getting the getting the medicines of chronic kidney disease. Okay. I uh and I do have to chuckle about it. I do not recommend a disease. It's it's not harmful, it's not hurtful, it's not fun, but it's a pain in the ass putting yourself on a bag for 10 hours every 24 hours. But I had to own that, Dan. I've owned it. I did it to myself. Right. And get my body service, and it took me a massive awakening. What I'm probably saying to you, and you'd agree, really be on point because the all these awakenings and and suggestions are happening to you your whole life.

SPEAKER_06 30:02

Exactly right.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

It's how you want to respect them or take them. Now I did have a sore back and I was getting a bit harder to build and all that, and someone was telling me to slow down, and I did love a a a beer and a cigarette and all that sort of stuff. But each time I was doing that, there was a little message thinking back on it saying, hey, tiger, look after yourself, look after yourself, because life's good, and I didn't take that message.

SPEAKER_06 30:26

No, when you're younger, you think you're invincible. And then when they say w as you get older you get wisdom is true. But uh, you know, if you had that wisdom when you were younger, then you can really uh find the meaning in your life. And uh it shouldn't have to only happen when you're when you're older. You know, some of the things in my book, I uh I want doesn't matter what age someone is reading it, I want them to t just take stock and reflect and and share their moments as well. Um because I think it's I think it's important. I do. And what you went through opened your eyes. Um and look what you've done with it. You're sharing all these great stories. Like you said to me, you're sharing histories, and that's that's pretty terrific.

SPEAKER_04 31:20

Well it is, and a lot of the people, maybe jits this podcast, I'm giving giving people the opportunity to have many awakenings because That's right. Quite often I get a text message after it saying, Oh, geez, I feel good. Thank you very much for hearing my story and and doing it. And I know myself personally, I've I've written four chapters in a book ten years ago and I never wrote any more. But to be able to write is magnificent. Um, it's great therapy, as you'd know. Yes. But I I think the the podcast is enabling, and your book writing is is enabling people to have many, many awakenings. I've never thought about it this way till I've had this chat to you. Oh, great. But it's true, you don't need something really, really bad in your life to happen to you to have an awakening.

SPEAKER_06 32:05

You know, the awakenings, people think of it as something spiritual or religious or like my father's getting up from dementia. But if you look in the dictionary, they define it as an awareness or recognition of something. So it's that's what it is. It's an awareness of something. So it doesn't always have to be those big major things, but a recognition and awareness of something is really what an uh an awakening is. And people are probably having it through various times in life. The question is, do they notice it and and what they do about it uh when they have them?

SPEAKER_04 32:45

100%, Dan. We're just hitting on the hour here. Okay. A few more questions for you. What I'd like to do first is um tell my listeners one is how do they get this book, Mac? How do they get this book?

SPEAKER_06 32:58

Thank you. So the book, again, it's Awakenings in real life by Dan Cohen. They could find it on Amazon. It's available both as an ebook and a uh paperback. It's also on Barnes and Noble. Um, or they can go to my website, which will defer them to uh Amazon, my website. They can learn more about the stories' awakenings in real life. Um and I also tell other, like I mentioned to you before, I I also tell stories of other people's awakenings. And uh, you know, people can reach out to me. They can they can tell me their stories. Uh I'd love to share them at info at awakenings in real life. Um, but I hope that if people get my book, uh they'll they'll get some of the things that uh you and I shared today in this conversation.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

That'll be uh absolutely awesome. Just to leave you with one one last question. What message would you leave for listeners who still have their parents with them?

SPEAKER_06 34:04

You know, my message is cherish your parents, tell your parents you love them, hug your parents, and see your parents. Um, because especially when you're you're younger, you get very involved in your life, you get very uh very uh caught up in work, you could be raising a family, you know, and you may not have time for your parents all the time. My advice is make time for your parents because you know, we all have a limited time on this earth, and and from both my parents uh passing, they you know, it's an extremely profound loss. So find the time to call your parents, find the time to see your parents, spend time with your parents. It's it's invaluable. That that's really my message. Don't don't waste any time. Don't think, you know, I'll see them next week, tomorrow. Schedule the time, call them up, you know, share what you as we talked about earlier, how you feel about them. But uh uh I think it it'll make you feel as good as it will them.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Yeah, that's that's a great message to win it. And this is why on March 19th, I really want it might start in my own little town, it might start nationally in Australia, it might start globally in the world. But on March 19th's my birthday, and because I'm so lucky to have another birthday, I want people to share 19 minutes of their time with their family, their fathers, their mothers, it can be their brothers or sisters, it could be their wives, their kids, it can be a random stranger down the street. Dan, thank you for sharing this story and trusting who is your hero to share some very personal points you have today because dementia can feel like the cruelest thief there is, stealing memories, stealing conversations, stealing moments. But sometimes, as your story shows, life gives us brief windows where those memories come back. And those moments become priceless, as you've heard today on Who is Your Hero. To everyone listening today, if your parents are still here, call them right now. Visit them, ask them about their stories of life. Because one day those memories may become the most valuable thing you have. This is Buzz. This has been Who is Your Hero, and I thank you so much, Dan Cohen, for coming on the show.

SPEAKER_05 36:39

Thank you so much, Matthew. I I really, really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_04 36:44

Legends, what a powerful two-part journey this has been. Over these last two episodes, we've had the privilege of sitting down with Dan Cohen, author of Awakenings in Real Life, and hearing a story that's deeply personal, deeply human, and one that I reckon will stay with a lot of you for a very long time. Dan, mate, thank you. Thank you from the team at Who is Your Hero. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for trusting Who is Your Hero with such a personal family story. And thank you for giving our listeners something more than just a conversation. You're giving them perspective because this series hasn't been about dementia. It hasn't just been about memory loss and hasn't just been about illness. It's been about love, about family, about presence, about resilience. And it's been about those priceless moments in life that wake us up and remind us of what really matters. Dan's story about his father is one of those stories that make you stop. Makes you think about your own parents, your own family, memories, people you've loved, the people you still have, and the people you might not have told enough. Because one of the biggest messages that come out of this series is simple. Don't wait. Don't wait to make the call. Don't wait to say I love you. Don't wait to ask the old questions. Don't wait to sit down and hear the stories. Don't wait until someone's funeral to say what you should have said while they could still hear you. And I think that's what makes Dan's book and Dan's message so powerful. He didn't just witness an awakening in his father, he had one himself. And if you really listen to those two episodes, maybe there's a fair chance you've had one too. Maybe not a giant one, maybe not some lightning bolt from the sky, but maybe a little one. A nudge, a feeling, a thought that says, I need to cherish more people, I need to slow down, I need to be more present, I need to stop assuming there'll always be another chance. And if that's happened for you while listening to this series, then this conversation has done exactly what it's meant to do. Because that's what awakenings really are. Not always huge dramatic moments, sometimes they're just a recognition, a reminder, a truth you're always meant to notice. So once again, Dan mate, thank you for coming onto the show, down in the land down under. Thank you for sharing your father with us. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for writing awakenings in real life. Because I know there'll be people out there listening right now who feel less alone because of it. And now, legends, I want to finish this series on something that means a lot to me. March 19th, my birthday, but it's now World Who is Your Hero Day to make an impact. But more than that, now today I want to turn into something bigger than me. Day about gratitude, a day about connection, a day about slowing down and telling someone what they really mean to you. The challenge is simple. Take 19 minutes on March 19th and spend it with someone who matters. Call your dad, call your mum, visit your grandparents, hug your partner, tell your kids you're proud of them, thank a mate who got you through the dark times, or sit with a stranger who needs someone to listen to. 19 minutes, that's all, because 90 minutes of real presence can change someone's whole day and maybe even their life. And after hearing Dan's story, I reckon you know exactly why that matters. Because memories matter, people matter, love matters, and while someone is still on this earth, tell them. And legends, before I go, if this podcast means something to you, if these stories have helped you, who as the hero has made you laugh, think, cry, reflect, or feel less alone, and you'd like to support what we're building here, there are a couple of ways you can help. You can support the show through Patreon, where we're building the tribe and keeping these conversations growing. You can also chip in through GoFundMe, which helps keep the podcast moving, growing and reaching. More people who need to see this story. Your support helps me keep bringing real people, real conversation, and real awakens to the mic. And just as importantly, share this episode. Send it to someone, tag a mate, pass it on. Because sometimes the greatest donation isn't just dollars, it's making sure the right person hears the story at the right time. I'm Buzz, this is Who is Your Hero, and this has been our two-part conversation with Dan Callan. Until next time, legends, look after your health, look after people, and tell your heroes you love them. And on March 19th, take 90 minutes and remind someone why they matter.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Don't stop, believe it. Hold on to that feel. Speed light, beep. Don't stop, believe it. Don't stop believe it.