Episode 57 – Part 1 | Paul McVay – The Fight of His Life

Episode 57 – Part 1 | Paul McVay – The Fight of His Life

Before the diagnosis... there was a life full of adventure.

In Part 1 of this powerful two-part series, Matthew Fidler sits down with Paul McVay—a devoted family man, tradesman, surfer, AFL Masters footballer, and passionate dirt bike rider with the Auswide Adventures crew.

This isn't the story of cancer...

It's the story of the man before cancer.

Paul reflects on growing up in Brisbane, the values his parents instilled in him, lifelong friendships, the importance of mateship, and a life built around adventure and making memories.

Together, Matt and Paul share an honest conversation about what it means to be a man, why we often ignore our health, the power of family, and why life can change in an instant.

This episode lays the foundation for what becomes one of the most emotional and inspiring stories ever told on Who Is Your Hero?

In Part 2, everything changes.

One routine blood test...

One phone call...

One sentence no one ever wants to hear:

"You have prostate cancer."

Paul shares the devastating moment he received his diagnosis and the incredible fight that followed—a journey of fear, resilience, hope and courage that every Australian should hear.

🎙 This is a story about courage, mateship, resilience and why tomorrow is never guaranteed.

If this episode encourages just one person to book a health check or start a conversation with someone they love, then it has achieved exactly what it was meant to.

In this episode:

• Paul's early life and family values
• Growing up with adventure and hard work
• AFL Masters, surfing and Auswide Adventures
• Why mateship matters
• The importance of men's health
• Why getting checked can save your life
• Preparing for the biggest battle of his life

Part 2 drops soon... and it's a podcast you won't forget.

#WhoIsYourHero #PaulMcVay #MensHealth #ProstateCancer #AuswideAdventures #RealHeroesDontWearCapes #TheyWearCourage #Podcast #HealthChecks #Mateship #Resilience

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Welcome back, my tribe. It's been a little while since I've done a podcast. Firstly, welcome back to Who Is Your Hero, the podcast where real heroes don't wear capes, they wear courage. I've got to start by saying a thank you. Thank you to every single person who's reached out, sent a message, checked in and asked, mate, where's the next podcast? The truth is, life happened. As many of you know, my own health had to come first. Living with kidney uh failure and spending 10 hours every night on dialysis has just been a journey I never really expected. Some days have been incredibly tough, but they've also reminded me exactly why this podcast exists. At the same time, behind the scenes, I've been working flat out building something I truly believe will change lives. I've been developing new apps, including My Last Memory, helping families preserve their voices, stories, and legacies forever. Stay one more day, helping people through their darkest moments. And of course, Oswald Adventures, bringing together mateship and adventure all around Australia. It's been months of late nights, problem solving, frustration, breakthroughs, excitement, and honestly, can't wait to show you everything we've been working on here at Who is Your Hero. But today we're back. And we're back in a big way. The guest list has exploded. We've got incredible Australians lined up over the coming weeks, people with unbelievable stories, stories of survival, resilience, heartbreak, success, failure, and courage. Stories that will make you laugh, make you cry, and hopefully make you appreciate just how precious life really is. So if you've been waiting, thank you. If you're joining us for the very first time, welcome to the tribe. Because around here, we don't pretend life's perfect, we talk honestly. We lift each other up, we celebrate the wins, we own the losses, and together we find the hero inside ourselves. Today's guest is someone I've been looking forward to sitting down with for a long time. He's an adventurer, a family man, a trade, a bloke who spent his life chasing waves, building businesses, and creating unforgettable memories with his mates. But behind the smile is a man who recently heard the words that changes everything. You've got cancer. Paul McVeigh's story isn't about prostate cancer. It's about courage, it's about facing your own mortality. It's about family, it's about mateship, it's about making every single day count. And as you'll hear in this conversation, Paul and I have both found ourselves fighting battles we never saw coming. Mine's been kidney failure, his has been prostate cancer. Neither of us asked for it, but both of us chose to fight. This is one of the most honest conversations we've ever had on this podcast. And if it encourages just one bloke to book a doctor's appointment, or one family to have an important conversation, then it's already been worth it. So wherever you're listening from, in your car, on the work site, out on the tractor, walking the dog or sitting at home with a coffee. Welcome back to Who is Your Hero? I'm Buzz. And this is the incredible story of Paul McVeigh. Welcome to Who Is Your Hero, Paul. Matt, great to be here. We're just talking in the green room how um it's uh my my disease I've got is it's some days I'm up, I could play footy again, and other days, mate, I could stay in bed for two days. And it it's a it's a mind game. We're talking about it's a mind game, and I would suggest that uh your your prostrating would be a a fair bit of a mind game to you, eh?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Oh, it definitely is, mate. It's been a um it's probably more a mental journey than it is. Um, you know, there's definitely a physical side to it, but there's definitely uh a very hard mental side to it when you when you first kick it off. Um so yeah, it it's a journey, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Yeah, look, I remember back to um I was just travelling up the east coast having a bit of a a a surf and building a few houses and after COVID I thought I said, well, you can all go and get stuffed. I had a great job in New Guinea. I was working over there, they took that off me, and I was got stuck down in Melbourne to be quite honest, and uh as frustrating as hell. So I just thought I'm just gonna live life to the the fullest and then um just kept driving and driving and ended up coming up to Townsville to see a mate. Mate said you look a bit thin, you know. I've always been a hundred and ten sort of fella. And I was down to eighty-three kilos and actually didn't really realise it because I was just in the me roofie with my dog, driving up the east coast, finding as much fun as I could. And um Yeah, I had seven doctors round me bed in the Townsville hospital saying you've got 24 hours to live. Jesus we've got to do this. Your kidneys are at 3%. Um and this is what's gonna happen in the next 24 hours. We're gonna put tubes down, you're gonna have a blood transfusion. You I had two bouts of chemo um to to try and kill the vagulysis. And at that moment I just surrendered to these these doctors and said, You do what you gotta do. I just I bought that subject up to see if there's anything familiar for you at that state.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, I think um when things like that happen, it's like, you know, you stand in the middle of the road and the truck just runs you over and you you put yourself in the hands of the professionals to try and get yourself sorted. There's not much else you can do. Um you know you can uh I I suppose you probably didn't have as much time as I had at the initial sort of outset. I I spent a lot of time going down rabbit holes looking for answers and um I think a lot of guys do that and then uh with my case I I probably didn't have the time in the end to muck around looking for you know cures. I mean there's there's a ton of stuff out there and you start reading it and you know when someone says he got cancer you start looking for a you start looking for a miracle cure and um you know, I don't know whether they're out there.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

I I think I have the same thing with the kidneys. I mean if you follow the internet there is that many remedies that supposedly start bringing your kidneys back and um you think what if I do this, what if I do that, what if I don't do what they say? And at the end of the day, I'm too I'm too scared right now to do anything the doctors don't say. Because I I ain't I ain't got no time. I mean ten hours a night dialysis in between what I'm doing. But um anyway, let's um let's head to uh Paul. You know, as a young fella uh the bloke behind the diagnosis I'd say, tell us about young Paul. What sort of kid were you growing up?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

No, I think I was just uh a regular sort of kid. We grew up in Brisbane. Uh when Brisbane was a a a way smaller town than it is now. You know, we grew up in a sort of semi-rural area. Mum and dad You know, they still live in the same house I mostly grew up in. They moved across the road if you can believe that. They uh dad's a dad's a builder, he built the house that we uh they got married and and had kids in, and then uh there was a farm across the road and they bought the house off the farmer. And that's where they still are now, you know. They're uh what's that 60 odd years uh they've been in the same house. Um so I grew up basically right next to a farm. We had that sort of semi sort of country background when we grew up. We just you know, you went out when the sun came up and you came in when the sun went down. Um I could walk to school through the cow paddocks and then you know, went to school at a at uh the state school in the area and then I went to the high school in the same area. So we uh we didn't move, we didn't have uh, you know, uh we didn't move around the country or anything. We just grew up in the same I got a brother and a sister and we all grew up in the same little suburb and then we sort of moved out from there when we got older. Are you the oldest or youngest? Oh, I'm in the middle. In the middle. The middle. So older brother and a younger uh younger younger sister.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Yeah, it's quite it's quite funny. I've got uh oh I'm down to um four four four siblings now. Yeah, I had a dancing brother brother that's um a bit older than me that died during COVID with mum. They both died a month apart, actually. Um but uh since since my I've got my two sisters, um Elisa and Sue, the two oldest, they just like date over their little brother. It's like it's like when you're a kid again, you know what I mean? It's it's that sibling love, and I could imagine uh the love you're getting still from your um your siblings and and your mum and dad, they said they would have been the old school, mum mum would have bought the kids up and dad would have gone with the nail bag on each day. Yep, that's exactly right. Mum mum was a stay at home mum. The kids and dad went out in the end to buck. Isn't it amazing that um back then was the same and obviously w there were six of us, but a dad used to go uh two or three jobs, you know, he worked his ass off for us, and mum stayed home and bought us up. She actually went back to work when I went to prep or something like that. The story goes. But they survived on one income and they could save and they could buy properties, and you look at the poor buggers now, uh our our kids, I suppose you would say. Not so much us, but uh they're both working, someone's bringing up their children at a childcare centre and they still can't make it.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah, it's the the world's gone crazy. It has mate. I think you know, I say a a lot when I talk to guys of our generation or people in our generation. I think we had I think we had the best of it. I th I you know, I I hate to be a a pessimist, but you know, we had such a great time to grow up, you know, that sort of thing. There's opportunities, there was heaps, you know. There was a just uh, you know, heaps of work around. Like you say, you you could um mum and dad could afford to buy a house and they could afford to raise kids. You know, it was just I don't know what's changed this uh you know, all this we've moved forward, but I don't know whether we've everything's moved forward, you know what I mean? Out out of the out of out of sight, but um you know the family and the uh the upbringing of kids has changed. And I'm not sure it's changed for the better.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

Well I think I I think the the big answer to it, yes, technology's gone and I love it. You know, I'm developing these apps now and I don't have to be that brainy to do it. I mean it it is intense work when you're trying to fix bugs and all that, but AI and all that is as you'd know, is absolutely incredible. Yeah, you can see when you look at our our children coming out, they've got big opportunity, there's no doubt about it. But I think the personal the personal aspect of life's gone i is is pretty much what I think.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Yeah, I think you I think if you if you take it in when you go out, there's a you know a bunch of kids all sitting around on their phones. They're not out of conversation as seems to be a dying one. And you know, that might that might be circular, it might come back and might you know I I think um you know maybe schools could play a part in in that. I know they try and take their phones off them when they go to school and everything, but when they're in the playground they seem to be all sitting around and whether they're texting each other or they're just looking at Facebook or whatever they're doing, but that art of, you know, what did you do yesterday, mate, and you know, what are you doing this afternoon and that conversation doesn't seem to happen a lot anymore, you know?

SPEAKER_02 13:54

No, I played golf with a young a young fella, Nick Steadman, yesterday. He's uh off minus one or something, he's only uh eighteen. It's not bad. So he yeah, oh mate, it was uh I actually enjoyed the game. I I only shot about nine holes, probably fifteen or sixteen points. But he's off minus one. It was a pleasure to actually drive in the cart with him and just watch him play, you know what I mean? And I had a I had a shot in a couple of pickups, but um he's got his head screwed on this kid. He's a uh he his uh father's a policeman in Darwin, so he's he spent most of his upbringing up in the Northern Territory, yeah. Which uh Oswide Adventures uh heads up that way a bit, I believe. Just a bit of a plug there, we'll chuck in as we're going. Uh Stephen will be ching ching ching, cash for what do they say? What did John Laws get? Cash for a comment. Yeah. I'll have to I'll have to get some cash off Stephen. Um but uh yeah, he's come from this Catherine Darwin mode. His old man was a copper up there, which would be a hard gig. But just sitting with him in a cart um for nine holes, having a yak to him, an 18-year-old, just seeing where he and he was, you know, like a really mature kid, and he's having fun, you know what I mean? He's he he's not down. And I just wonder sometimes, Paul, what we're talking about. I mean, we know what we had and we're watching what they got, but do they actually know what they missed out? I don't I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

No, you're probably right there. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 15:19

And we go, well, those poor kids, imagine growing up now, but they don't know any different.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Yeah. I think they still have that same rebellious maybe it's an adventurous spirit at that age and they still but you know you see a lot of the stuff that transfers into you know, stuff we wouldn't even dare to do back in the day where there's you know, there's not a lot of respect there. And I I find that side of things a bit disappointing, but you know, I like to see a kid who's um you know, he get he's got the get up and go and he's and he has a great conversation with you and I I find that really heartening. You know, I d I don't like the whole, you know, disrespecting authority and you know, I I don't know where that came from. I I think maybe that's a bit of social media.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

We never had any of that, did we? No, I think.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yeah, you had a you had a really strong moral compass back in the day, and you know, I I I think that comes from maybe that's an era where our parents had that when they grew up and and we certainly was instilled in me from my parents when I grew up.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

That's um quite strange, I'm gonna say that, because that leads me into the next um really question. With with your mum and dad, old school like mine, um what do they instill in you? You reckon your your major qualities from your father or your mother?

SPEAKER_01 16:41

I I think you know, when you watch your mum and and your dad, whether they go to work every day and they um you know put in the hard yards, you get a good grounding in that sort of, you know, work for your money type ethic and also you know, a a a certain amount of respect whether you're whether you realise that at the time that's being instilled in you or not. But you know, the respect for someone who goes out and has a go, um, puts in hard yards and tries to give the kids um, you know, take them on holidays and give them what they want. I mean, we there wasn't anywhere near as much commercial stuff around when we were kids, obviously, but um we weren't getting iPhones or bloody electric bikes, but we were getting you know, if you got a pushbike for Christmas or something like that, you were pretty stoked. So you know, just seeing your mum and dad doing that and and the moral compass, like I said before, is instilled in you at at an early age, because you've got a good role model and a good uh you know, you take it in every day of your life, sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

Yeah, and I was I was the sort of bloke, and you probably were too. Um I I just used to absorb like a sponge hanging around for my dad and his mates. Before we get back to today's episode, let me ask you one question. If tomorrow never came, what memories would you leave behind? My last memory is your chance to record your story, your eulogy, your life lessons, your voice, and those special moments for the people you love. Imagine your grandchildren receiving a birthday message from you years from now, or your family hearing your voice long after you've gone. My last memory is available on the App Store from Friday, the 3rd of July 2026. For just $49.99 USD. It's a one-off lifetime payment. No subscriptions ever. It's more than an app, it's the greatest gift you'll ever leave the people you love. Download My Last Memory and start creating your own legacy. Listening to older stories or they were sitting around having a beer after golf or tennis, I'd make sure to pull up a deck chair and just sit quietly and just listen. And and what I found at the Townsville Golf Club, well, I've never really been a m I've always played social golf, but never been a member. But there's four or five young kids up there, like I talked about Nick and Sam and young Patrick. They ooze being at the golf club.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

And you and you could just they're just old school kids. But um getting around the uh older guys too and listening to their stories. Like, you know, back in the day we used to get up the list and you know it's all good.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

And you know, I often sometimes think, you know, you said to me before, we probably wouldn't have done the things that they're doing now, and there is some things, but imagine if they had cameras on us. We'd be in jail. Yes. Exactly. So, you know, I I think the sport was tougher. Um life was tougher because if someone um you know wouldn't have a crack it, you know, have a crack it in the schoolyard, not over a keyboard. Yeah, that's exactly right. Shit was shit was sorted out. If you're being a dick, you'd you'd copper fucking floggin' out the back. You know what I mean? That soon fixed you up, didn't it? You know, I remember the I remember the coppers grabbing me a couple of times for no particular reason, just being a kid, and um said, We're not gonna do anything, we're taking you home your old man. He can flog you if he wants. Yeah, and the old man probably give you your man will give you the flogging of your life. Worse than the coppers. So it was just and and dad knew all the police, you know what I mean? They were all they're all playing at the same footy club or tennis club, so it and and every parent was looking out for every kid.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Yep, it was a real community spirit.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Yep, down your street or on your farm life. So when you're a young fella, what what dreams did a young Paul have? Have the dreams been the same as what how it's ended up? Take the cancer out for now, but uh what you wanted to do, have you achieved?

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Oh, I think so. I um you know, I was always a bit of a bloody Larrican when I was growing up, always mucking around, having little adventures with my mates or whatever, you know, you'd go on holidays to the caravan park and you'd be off having an adventure in a in a rowboat or whether you're sailing something around or you know, going going off surfing. And so I always had that um adventurous spirit when I was a younger fella, and I think that's just carried on through my life.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Um Well, it does sound like it, because you old boys, well I'll call you old boy Bob, she'd be the oldest for me.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

No, I'm the oldest, believe it or not. You're the oldest. Oh, I know it's hard to ma imagine looking at me now.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

It's funny, like I've I've known Steven for probably fifteen years because of the uh master's footy. I actually I I used to be the Ruckman, so I made Him that little that little grubby footballer get a get a lot of votes in the Oilers. I made him look good. I was telling him that the other day when we were talking about it. Just to tap it down to him, the little midfielder. Yeah, and uh Bolshe, I think Bolshe's a bit younger than us. I'm not sure. He's a few years younger than us. You see, I'm 57. Jags would be 57 or 58.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah. Yeah, Bolchy the I think maybe 56. Yeah, with the snipper.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Yeah, and I think Damo played with us over in um Adelaide. But what I'm getting back to is the whole sort of group of you guys, and I don't know whether you grew up together or found each other, um, are still pretty adventurous, and you know, with some of the bike rides you're doing and the it is uh you have to be reasonably fit, mate, still to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yeah, I think that I think the whole footy thing helped with that. Though I actually met all the other guys through football. So I did. I started the Palm Beach Masters Football Club. Oh, right. Um went when it turned from Old Boys into the Masters, I was involved in campaigning, and I think it's nearly 10 years down the track now that we uh joined Cool and Gatta Football Club and Palm Beach Football Club in the Masters. So I was uh the president of Palm Beach Masters, and then I transferred when we combined the two clubs, I was the the treasurer of the club of the merger. Yeah, so I uh I played probably 12 years and then the old body said, No, I think you've had enough. Um but yeah well that we all met through the football club and yeah the fitness side of things obviously keeps you keeps you young as we we travel.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

But um yeah Yeah look I think I think I did I didn't realise that but you know it it obviously a connection but Masters pretty much in 2014 I think I played in Adelaide with Stephen and I was coming to the I'd coached up at Mackay at Bakers Creek 45, I was still playing uh open age footy and uh captain coach up in Mackay and getting towards the end and sort of hating myself like I had a long, long footy career down south, and uh played some pretty good footy. And then I was getting to the end of it and I found masters, I found all these guys in common. And um back back in those days it was really mates looking after mates, and there were some sort of guys playing that were average, but they were having a ball because they're getting a game, and it was a real good men's shed. Um, I think these days it's it's the national carnivals are a bit bloody um bit political, like everything.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

I mean, I think yeah, I think they uh when you're hosting the carnival, you seem to round up a few guys that come out of the from nowhere. All of a sudden we get these ex-AFL players coming in and playing. I remember when we played uh the Queensley Carnival in Southport, there was ex Brisbane Lions play, or Brisbane uh they're not even Brisbane Bears back then. Um all of a sudden these guys have turned up and they're playing in the the the main game. And where did these guys come? I've never seen them before.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

Was that the one in the Gold Coast?

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah, yeah, Southport. Did you play that that one? I I I didn't end up playing because I I had a uh injured knee. So we were there.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Yeah, we won the grand final in that. Yeah, 40 uh 55s or something, but that's the uh Daryl White was playing. Daryl White and uh was Libertori was 50 something playing in the 35s and still carving it. Yeah, um who was the big ruckman from um South Australia? Oh man, he's huge. Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

All these uh Richard Champion played a few times. That's right, yeah. Where the heck of man, let's play it up there then.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

He did he played that one in the sunny case too with the cloak. Cloak played.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah, Travis Cloak, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

But interesting anyway, we could talk all day about the footy. It's great. I might get Stephen on one time, and he he's actually said yes to it. We'll have to we'll have to watch his stories, though. He's could get himself in a bit of trouble, he tells a whole lot, but anyway. The best fisherman or riding the flattiest four drive. Oswide Adventures isn't about flashest. It's about ordinary strides doing it. So um what was probably the most defining moment the age and the age where obviously your dad was a chippy and you you went that way too by the by the sound of it through the building?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Um, you know, I I did high school till I was uh I because my birthday's at the end of the year, I turned 15 and the old man came in with a nail bag and said, here you go. So I was I I was fifteen when I left school and uh and then I just started work. So that was a you know, at back in the day, I think that was uh year 10, and um you could keep going eleven and twelve or you could finish in year ten and if you had a if you could get a job. So the old man, you know, put me on as an apprentice. And most of my mates that I went to school with at the time a lot of them were trade-based, or the dads were in the trade, so they, you know, went down the same sort of path, whether they um, you know, were fitter and turn or, you know, some sort of tradey, they just were walked out of school straight into a job. You know, that was the era you could do that. And y and it kind of, you know, you maybe got a a little bit of a leg up on the guy that went through to 11 and 12 and then he ended up going to uni and he didn't have an income, you know, for maybe it was six years before he finished uni and you already you already had an income. You were, you know, when I say an income, um, I think I started on ninety dollars a week, I think. And mum would take I think she would take uh my board and uh and uh everything out of that. So I don't know whether I I never saw it. Mum used to do the banking, you know, she put the put my wages away. I know when I um I think by the time I left home, I think I had maybe it was ten thousand dollars in the bank or something like that, you know. And I I don't know if I knew what my bank account was, but uh you know, that was it. That was the turn, that was where my uh career started. I I did an apprenticeship for four years with the old man. Um and then I I was right into surfing, you know, for ever since I was a young a young guy, and uh after I finished my apprenticeship, I was I started making surfboards, so sort of um went down that track for a while. I was making some boards uh for a surf shop. And uh then I ended up starting my own surf shop up. So I had a surf shop when I was 18. Um which was a big thing back in the day. Um it wasn't a successful it w it I like I it was successful at the time, but I um there was a bit of a drama with the with the the landlord where I had the where where where I had the shop. So the surf shop ran for about a year before um it all got a bit too much with the legal side of things with this landlord. He was being a bit of a bit of a tool, if I put it politely. Um But anyway, it was a good period. Um I'm I know I I I really enjoyed it. I uh, you know, I was living the living this lifestyle of making surfboards during the day and having a surf shop and all the people that came into the shop, you know, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 31:19

This is on the Goldie Brisbane area, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 31:21

No, no, I was on the the north side of Brisbane. Um Yeah, all the local all the local Larricans used to come down the shop on a Friday Friday afternoon with a carton and uh it was many of the time I woke up on the floor of the shop on a Saturday morning with people knocking on the door.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

So so all these little things that I've sort of you would be the same. Uh we're similar age. Um grew up with the same sort of parents, you know, albeit I was down south here in north of Brisbane, but all these little things like the surf shop, all right? You had a little bit of bother there, or or the waking up on the floor, or there'd be I've sort of rec I don't know if the words recollected as I'm going back, all these little things were put in my way to learn from, eh? Oh, absolutely. And and one of the biggest things I try to talk to the kids, you know, when I say kids, I mean I call a 30-year-old, a 30-year-old a kid these days, and they seem to be in the most um most trouble up up upstairs in the mind. And I I just, you know, I do I don't do canceling, but I do have a lot of chatting to people. I love I love helping people out and getting them through a bit of a pickle, so to speak, because I've been in that many fucking pickles, I could have been on the menu at McDonald's. But and and when I was doing it, I suffered a lot of anxiety and and all that sort of stuff, remembering back. And I just think it's like your life or my life or anyone's life, that all these little things that aren't going that well are just parts of the journey.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

Absolutely. You know, adversity brings out the best in people. I you know, if you if you get through those adverse times and like someone I I don't remember who it said, but when you go through something that's really, really hard, everything else after that seems easy, if you know what I mean. So if you go through adversity, then everything else um on the other side of that seems like it's not that much of a big deal. I mean, everyone has something that doesn't go right in their life. I don't know anyone I've ever met in my whole life that has had the dream light run, you know. If they have, good on them. But uh I'm yet to meet someone who's never had any adversity.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Yeah, and even going back to the old footy days, mate, you know, you just sparked a memory then. We had it, we had uh was it North Ballarat and we had Jimmy Buckley come out of Carlton and coaches for a couple of years. And that bloke fatting, he's alaric, and like he he's um you wanna you wanna he won't mind me saying this a bit funny, you want to count your fingers after you shake his hand, but anyway. Um he he made it's such a difference in my life at 21. Um I I I just uh he's coming on the podcast next week, actually. Uh and I just the reason being he just made you fucking hurt. You know, we won three premierships in a row or something undefeated back in the 90s, early 90s, and he just made you hurt. And he goes, You just gotta hurt now. You just hurt on the training track, hurt here, because when you get on the field, you will win, and your life will be a win after what I do to you. And it was, you were crying, you were spewing in pre-season, you you know what I mean? You didn't give up.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Yeah, but like everything, like you say, everything after that was easy.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

It was easy in footy. It was it was I started coaching. I I coached four or five clubs down in Victoria because of that hurt. Yep. Um, and I think what's happening these days, um, and we're not off the subject, we're right on it, because it I I believe labelling um labeling kids or adults that they've got some sort of mental health disease is not that good. They go to the doctor and saying, I'm struggling a bit, or here's here's a tub of anti dexyanphenamines and go away, you've got depression.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Yeah, I yeah, absolutely agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

And then they go home and they tell their mates and they feel shit, and they say, you know what, I've got depression.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Yeah, and I think um that can be used as an excuse. Yes. You know, I think during, you know, even you know, we all had that stuff, you know, where things didn't go right, but you didn't suddenly go, oh listen, I've got depression. You kind of went, oh, well, that's just shit, you know, and I'll get on with it. Um where days, and I think maybe a lot of that comes back to the social media side of things where everyone wants to be a victim or they don't want to, you know, own up to it and go, Oh, listen, the only one that can change your life is you, really. When you come down to it, if you want to make a change in your life, you gotta stand up and and um and go to bat for yourself. If you just lay down and be a victim your whole life, you're not gonna go anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Yeah, I I have a big thing there and and I I've done some some silly, stupid things, and I always went home and and said to me old man before he got the news, I said, Dad, I've just fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

If you own it, that's half the thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 36:37

And then you didn't and you didn't get in trouble. No. It used to go to me, all right, thanks, we're really, you know, how do we fix it? Yeah. And if you don't tell someone and it dwells and dwells, and it it's pretty hard, and you know, there's there's always these white lies, or I kicked nine goals in a grand final, I only kick four. You know what I mean? Those sort of things then that's not lying, that's extending the truth. I mean, Stephen does that every week he plays football. He only gets four or five kicks, and he tells me he got twenty, but um, he's getting a bit old now. But um and it's very hard to chase a lie.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Oh, when you start a lie, you gotta you gotta find another one to cover that one. So yeah. And I think uh, you know, the best the best truth is the you know, you gotta be truthful with yourself.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

Yeah, and your mates too. Like I've always been one of my mates come up to me and say, How am I going? I'll fucking tell them. Whether you like me or you don't after it, I'll tell them. It's great. Um, you mentioned there with a surf shop, a young fella carving it up around northern Brisbane and that. And he would have had probably some broken arms or some strains or some concussions or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Oh, yeah. I was pretty lucky I didn't have too many majors. Didn't you? Um yeah, I I sort of skated through the major damage, but yeah, I we all had a few stitches and maybe a broken bone here and there.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

You know, and and a lot of people will know soon we're building a magnificent app for outdoor adventure for the for the uh decrepit and crippled. Um, I suppose it's actually m Masters Adventure, what you could should call it. Well, yeah, there's that side of it. But I I think because I had so much um adventure in my life as a kid and you did, we've sort of come out the way we have with adversity. Kids today aren't have they got a have they got as much adventure in and they haven't got the opportunity to adventure like we did. Like we used to take our boogie boards down the creek in Mount Waverley when it was flooding in stormwater creeks and see how far we could go through to the next suburb.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

Yeah, well, you'd be arrested these days for doing that. We had a there's a lot of helicopter parenting or whatever they want to call it, you wrap your kids at Cottonwood, and I listen, I um I think we're all we're we're all um guilty of doing that to some extent. Um But uh yeah, if you've got that adventurous spirit, it's pretty hard to get rid of it. Um you know the you know, the other side of things with uh, you know, we're doing the apps and we're doing all that and it's all involved with social media and a lot of I don't know, a lot of people live their life vicariously by other people. Uh, you know, they look at it what they're doing on social media and they you know you know, there's no s sense sitting there going, I wish I could do that. I I sort of maybe I was guilty of doing a bit of that for a while. Um you know, we went through the you know, you get married, you have kids, and you um you you know, you're busy making a business, you know, trying to get some money together and you know that adventurous side gets pushed to the side for a quite amount of time and whatever. But um I was probably lucky and I I still went on my, you know, surfing adventures once a year or whatever we did, and I still got a bit of that, but um we didn't have that social media to live vicariously by. The only adventure you had is like you said to your mate, oh let's go to Bali or let's go, you know, somewhere and there wasn't anything to look at to see what you you just got on the plane and you went over there and you you went and did it. Maybe you took a couple of photos while you're there to bring back and show your mates, but you definitely weren't posting on social media every five minutes. I've just been down to the bloody uh coffee shop and had a nice latte and a and a scon. Um it's a it's a different world these days. Like you can basically be anywhere in the world and and uh live stream, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yeah, and more so you can be any the any anywhere in the world within 24 hours.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

Yeah, true. But you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Like it's almost going away, yeah. Click your fingers and um you can do it. So you mentioned there uh you found the Oswite Adventures gang through uh football, um, a bunch of like-minded mates. So what does mateship, you know, really mean to you at that at at this age? I mean, and especially uh you like me when when you get something that's a bit um well it's not well could be terminal, but it's not. You're just going on the fight of your life. What what's what's the mates really mean to you now?

SPEAKER_01 41:28

Oh, listen, yeah, your mates are are a massive part of your life. Uh you know, you've got someone to fall back on and and you can talk to. I've I've got a couple of really close mates that I um they live on the Sunshine Coast and so I don't get to see them very often, but we can pick up the phone and it's like we were talking to each other yesterday, you know, and that sort of thing is uh is a great thing to have in your life. But um, you know, since we've been doing these um adventure rides and and trips around Australia, we just you know, we look forward to that. We have something that's banked and you know, go where are we going next? Like we go on the ride and then the next one is okay, where are we going next? And you know, you organize it and then you you have you just have this thing to look forward to with these bunch of guys and um you're not sitting at home on the couch twiddling your thumbs, you you're organizing the next one. And it's um, you know, it's been probably one of the greatest things I've had in my life is just uh have this bunch of guys you can go and do stuff with and you know they've got your back or whatever, you know. The last trip we did, I was coming out of the um the um the backside of that, you know, sort of major operation and I probably wasn't you know, I wasn't a hundred percent I should be doing that, but uh, you know, when the bike went over and I was laying underneath of it, they ran and pulled it off me. So uh you know it's good to have those guys around.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Um, yeah, and uh just being involved in your group now with all the feedback I'm getting for the new app, you don't mind sledging each other.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Oh, mate, it's hilarious. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

I saw I sort of know a couple of the characters and I know I can put a uh a face to a name now with you, and they're just fucking into it. And I said to Steve, I said, You're going real well, mate. You said you've got a bloke that's got prostate cancer, you got a bloke that's just had open heart surgery, and I've got fuck kidneys. He said, What else are you, mate? He says, Yeah, me and Bolshea are quite well.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

Yeah, that's like it's hilarious, you know. Well, it's funny because we ride along and we've got these uh intercoms on the the helmets, so we can talk to each other on the on the thing and the the conversation. If if you could record it, it it'd just be a comedy show.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

Well you could do a pod you could do a podcast on that.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

Oh, you could you probably could

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Could do one right along. That's that's a good idea. Um so is there a moment when a mate either younger or older uh not younger, when you were younger or at age now, has changed the course of your life with how they've looked after you or been to get back to today's episode. Let me ask you one question. If tomorrow never came, what memories would you leave behind? My last memory is your chance to record your story, your eulogy, your life lessons, your voice, and those special moments for the people you love. Imagine your grandchildren receiving a birthday message from you years from now, or your family hearing your voice long after you've gone. My last memory is available on the App Store from Friday, the 3rd of July 2026. For just $49.99 USD. It's a one-off lifetime payment. No subscriptions ever. It's more than an app. It's the greatest gift you'll ever leave the people you love. Download My Last Memory and start creating your own legacy.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

Right, right. It's hard. I thought about uh I probably thought about that a few times, you know. I um it's probably been a few times, and it's pretty hard to put a recollection on just one thing that you go, okay, that changed my life. But, you know, it's mine, maybe it was a gradual thing, or you know, we steered each other in a direction, you know, kept each other out of trouble. Yeah. Maybe it was, you know, a night out on the piss and someone offered you something you shouldn't be taking and someone steered you away from it, you know, and that could have been a change in your life. And I'm sure a lot of guys, young guys these days, have that those moments because I think it's you know, that sort of thing is more prevalent these days. And um just having a good mate there with you that's has your back and says, No, we're not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Yeah, indirectly, I get what you're saying. It's hard to pinpoint one unless they physically saved your life and pulled you away from a bus about to hit ya. Yeah, well yeah Yeah. That's true. Um Yeah, yeah, I mean I got I got I can pinpoint the guy. And didn't we didn't we want to be popular when we were younger? Didn't we want to do you know what I mean? You wanted to be in the in the right group or whatever. I don't know about you, but I did. I was sort of a March baby, so I was pretty young at school. Uh you were you were would have been old at school, wouldn't you? You would have been a U.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Oh no, oh well, I'm not too sure. I can't remember back that far, but I was you know, I'm in December. So I was either really young or I was old.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

So Yeah, yeah, actually if you had gone to school earlier, you would have been really young. But uh yeah, so I had a little bit of trouble as a male. I don't think the the young girls have as much trouble as we do if we go to school early, but I always try to impress and all that because you know, I doubted myself and all that sort of thing. But as I've grown older, uh you you've lose contact with people and you've got your friends for the right reason. And I think one of the things that gives some advice to the younger fellows, just just pick a good handful of people. That that's all you that's all you bloody need, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 47:19

Because you don't need a thousand friends, you just need a tight group or a couple of mates that you know you've got you've got your back. Yeah, it's just too hard to manage, otherwise. Yourself through footy club, you you end up with you know hundreds of mates. Yeah, but you know, there might be a handful of those mates you can actually call any time of the day and say, listen, I've got it, I've got an issue, I need to talk to you.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

Yeah, it's it's uh just before the app, I don't know if I've you've seen the the stu I I did see some stuff on the Stay One More Day app that I built for mental health. Yeah, that's a great one. There's two key features in that one, and it's exactly what we're talking about. One is uh what I call the tight five, where you got your anchor man and and that his phone number or her or whoever it may be is on direct dial on your phone, and you got four other wingmen. So you've got a tight fibre call that. But the second feature of it, which you touched on before, what keeps you going is there's always a trip being planned and all and something to be excited about. I've got a a part in that app and it's called Reasons to Stay. And you can put in your trip trip to Barley's in three months if that's what it is, and it counts down on your phone every day.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

You know, or your motorbike adventure up the Kimberley or whatever, and you get that photo out, and you know that in 32 days and 24 hours and 12 hours you're going on you're going on a venture, potentially with your tight five. I think that's where people have gotta bring shit back to to rock bottom and then say, Right, yo, who's who's gonna ride with me and where are we going? And I think you would you would solve a lot of the problem with this anxiety and depression with people and connection and everything, and that's why I've I've built that app. I said, all this shit, are you okay day and fuck this and all this? No one bloody listens to it. They're spending 20 million on on television ads for fucking domestic fucking violence, 20 million and 30 million. The blokes bashing their wives aren't watching that.

SPEAKER_01 49:32

No, that's a that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

Do so do something real or elbows 20 million and pump up your tires and take your roof racks off. Fuck me swinging. Save some fuel, but anyway, I get this way on this podcast. Um while we're heading to it this way, what do you recommend? That's a question now have so much trouble talking, like we don't. Is it is it the new generation can't go to their mates and say, I'm feeling a bit doughy today? What do you reckon?

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Listen, I think that's just it in general, that's been going on forever. I think even back in the old man's days, mate, they might have gone down the pub on Friday afternoon and maybe they talk to each other as down there, but I'd pretty sure they didn't ask how you're feeling, or it would have been more, oh, how's a cricket score or how's a footy score? You know, when we um I think it's uh generational and I often talk to people about how um your kids I'm sort of digressing a bit but I'll get back to it, but uh how how do your kids relate to your parents and how do they how do they talk about um you know, they talk to their grandparents or whatever like that and it's uh and it's kind of like how did your parents um say that they loved you um they had a different way of they had a different way of um loving you. So these days um and I'm I'm not um I'm not uh ashamed to say I I embrace my kids every time I see them and I tell them I love 'em, but um you know, back in my my mum and dad's days, I you know, really can't remember my old man ever saying to me, I love you. You know, the mean of just wasn't it just wasn't uh and definitely never saying that in a public setting. Um it was a way of loving you. And even now when I speak to my mum and dad on the phone and I talk to them every week, you know, one of the first questions they ask is, Oh, how's how are you going to work? Or you know, have you got enough work? And and that's their way of saying I love you. And I don't uh you know, and you know that because they are concerned about you, but it's a different way of um of uh being a you know.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

It's really interesting you bring that up. I was on a topic the other week on a podcast, and I still uh I always go mama cuddle when when I went Renosaurus, but I don't think I've ever cuddled my old man. Yeah. But I'll go and see me mate up the golf club or something, I'll fuck the handshake and go for a big cuddle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:24

I don't know if that's a modern thing. I'm pretty sure, you know, 40 years ago if you went into the pub and gave your mate a cuddle, you'd be fucking, what the fuck's going on here? Oh mate's you know but um yeah, I'm I'm the same. If I see my mates, the first thing we do is you know, give them a hug or whatever, and you know I I I tell my mates I love them because I do love them.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

And 100% I do the same thing there. And um I see like families mine uh Kenny, Kenny and Jamie and L. Beast, beautiful couple, three beautiful kids, and after every phone call, um the kids say I love you, or Mum and Dad says I love you. Was never in it was never in my life. And he's he's the same age as us. Uh he played Masters, Kenny Dukes, you might even remember him from Kenny from Canonvale. But then I helped their young son Harry, he was in a massive hole when he was 18, he's now 23, he was on the podcast not so long ago and dug himself right out. He's got his own electrical business there, he's absolutely king ass. But I'll I'll ring Harry, he's what about 23 now, and check on him, and we'll end the phone call. And I'm only like an uncle I'm not even his uncle, but you remember you your your dad's mates, he used to call uncle back in the day, I did. And um and Harry won't let me leave the phone until I tell him I love him. He's not even my kid. So we've had a we're a bit of a bloody get to the home, we've reminisced about old shit and how we grew up and our parents and our mates and that. And uh we gotta we gotta get to the spicy bit, I say, because we've got something in common, albeit completely different things. And you know, listeners, you know how much of a soft cock I well, I'm not a soft cock, but when it comes to this sort of shit, I get a bit emotional and and Paul has warned me that he could too. So that's where we'll uh wrap up episode 57, part one, and what an incredible conversation. Today wasn't about prostate cancer, it wasn't about hospitals, it wasn't about fear, it was about the man behind the diagnosis. We learn about the young bloke who grew up in north of Brisbane chasing adventure, a tradie who wasn't afraid of hard work, a surfer, a dirt bike rider, a proud family man, and a bloke who found lifelong mates through football and now rides Australia with the Oz wide adventure crew. We talked about old school values, we talked about respect, family, mateship. Why do those things matter more than ever before? Most importantly, we got to know Paul McVeigh before the cancer entered his life. Because the diagnosis should never define the person. But in our next episode, everything changes. One blood test, one phone call, one sentence that no one ever wants to hear. Paul, you have prostate cancer. In episode 57, part two, Paul takes us inside the darkest chapter of his life. The shock, the fear, the endless decisions, the mental battle, the treatment, and the fight that would test every ounce of character. If you ever wondered what goes through someone's mind when they're told that a cat. Or if you've got a mate, a dad, a brother, a husband, or you simply want to understand what real courage looks like, part two is a conversation you simply cannot afford to do. Until then, do yourself a favor. Pick up the phone, tell someone you love them, book that health check you've been putting off. And remember, real heroes don't wear code. They wear carry. I'm Buzz, and this has been another episode of Doo's Heroes. See you in part two, the five of his life.