🎙️ Episode 57 – Part 2 | Paul McVay – When Life Changes Forever One phone call.

🎙️ Episode 57 – Part 2 | Paul McVay – When Life Changes Forever

One phone call.

One diagnosis.

One moment that changed everything.

In Part 2 of this unforgettable conversation, Paul McVay opens up about the day he was told the words no man ever wants to hear:

"You have prostate cancer."

What follows is one of the most honest, emotional and inspiring conversations ever shared on Who Is Your Hero.

Paul takes us inside the fear, uncertainty and mental battle that comes with a cancer diagnosis. He speaks candidly about surgery, recovery, the impact on his family, and the resilience it takes to keep moving forward when life suddenly looks very different.

But this episode isn't just about cancer.

It's about courage.

It's about mateship.

It's about choosing hope over fear.

Paul's story is a powerful reminder that being strong doesn't mean pretending everything is okay—it means facing life's toughest moments head-on and allowing the people around you to walk beside you.

If you're a bloke who's been putting off a health check...

If you've ever believed "it won't happen to me"...

Or if someone you love has faced cancer...

This conversation could change the way you look at your own life.

In this episode:

• 💙 The devastating moment Paul received his diagnosis
• 💙 Living through the fear of prostate cancer
• 💙 Surgery, recovery and rebuilding life
• 💙 The incredible support of family and mates
• 💙 Why early detection saves lives
• 💙 What every Australian man needs to hear
• 💙 Paul's answer to the question... Who Is Your Hero?

This isn't just a podcast.

It's a reminder that tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Book the health check.

Tell your family you love them.

Call your mate.

And never take another day for granted.

If Paul's story encourages just one person to get tested early, then sharing his journey has already made a difference.

🎧 Available now on Buzzsprout, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and all major podcast platforms.

If this episode moved you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it today.

Because someone else's story could save another life.

#WhoIsYourHero #PaulMcVay #Episode57 #ProstateCancer #MensHealth #GetChecked #RealHeroesDontWearCapes #TheyWearCourage #MentalHealth #CancerAwareness #Resilience #Hope #PodcastAustralia #HealthChecks #Family #Mateship

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Moments in a life. Moments to divide everything into two chapters. Before and after. Welcome to episode 57, part two with Paul McVeigh. The fight of his life. A routine blood test. A phone call from a doctor. A drive to an appointment you never thought would matter. And suddenly nothing will ever be the same again. If you listen to part one, you meet the man, you meet Paul McVeigh. A proud husband, father, tradesman, surfer, an AFL masters footballer, a dirt bike rider who has spent years exploring Australia with the boys from Oz White Adventures. You meet a bloke who loved life. Who valued family, believed in mateship, who thought he was fit, healthy, who thought cancer happened to someone else. But today, everything changes. Today's the moment every family fears. The moment every man hopes will never come. The moment when life stops and the future suddenly becomes uncertain. Because today Paul tells the story of hearing the words, Mate, you have prostate cancer. What followed wasn't just a battle against cancer, it became a battle against fear, uncertainty, sleepless night, doubt, and against mortality itself. You'll hear how one routine blood test uncovered a disease Paul never felt. How specialists delivered different opinions. How every decision carried a life-changing consequences. How family became his greatest strength. How his mates refused to not let him fight alone. And how courage isn't something you're born with, something you discover when life leads to you no other choice. As many of you know, I'm fighting Tidney player. When Paul jumped on the mic, this wasn't an interview. It was two ordinary Australian blokes talking about something neither of us imagined would face. Fear, the anger, the guilt, the questions, the moments where you wonder if tomorrow is even promising. But you'll hear something far more powerful than fear. You'll hear hope. Because this episode isn't about dying. It's about choosing life, choosing to fight, choosing to keep showing up. And choosing to use your story so someone else might never have to walk the same road. Right now, there are thousands of men listening who haven't had a health check in years. Thousands who think they're too busy. Thousands who believe they're too tough. Thousands who tell themselves she'll be right, mate. Cole was one of those men. Until one simple blood test changed everything. If this conversation convinces just one bloke to book a checkup, stage one father, one husband, one brother, one mate. Every word you're about to hear is worth it. It isn't a podcast about cancer, it's about courage, resilience, family, it's about inmates, it's about the strength of one human spirit when everything you planned in your life is suddenly turned upside down. So wherever you are right now, in the U on the tractor, in the workshop, ready to go to sleep, driving home, sitting quietly with your headphones on. I want you to do one thing. Turn up the volume. Listen carefully. Share this episode with someone you love. When it's over, book that health check you've been putting off. Because tomorrow isn't promise. But today you still have a choice. This is one of the most important conversations we've ever recorded. Episode 57, part two. Paul McVeigh, the fight of his life. Let's continue where we left off. This is this isn't a pit port pity me or pity Paul type moment, but take take us back uh six months ago, mate, round Christmas time, the day that everything changed for you.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Yeah, well it's kind of it it actually goes back further than that. So yeah, last year my dad got um he's he's um been diagnosed he had a a a a colon cancer. Yep and I've got March um twenty twenty-five. And um so that was a bit of a shock. Um and so he was going through they basically said to him, you know, we can't do anything, pack your bag, pack your uh get your stuff in order. And um, that's hard fucking words, aren't you? Yeah, so that was hard hard stuff, and then it was fortunate that um one of the other doctors at the at the hospital in Brisbane uh got hold of his uh test results and and said, um, listen, I think we can do uh immunotherapy. And so um he did the test for that and he was lucky that he excuse me, fell into a bracket where he could do that. So he underwent immunotherapy and he was going through that. And my um my partner Donna said to me, uh, when's the last time you had a checkup? And I was um you know, I was pretty flack and I said, Oh, well, I haven't had a checkup since before COVID. And so that led me to go to the doctor and I um had the uh had a PSA test done and um you know, within an hour of having this PSA test done, I got a phone call saying you better go to the doctor. Yeah that's where it all started. My PSA was was really elevated. Um, previous to that I didn't have or what I thought I didn't have any symptoms. You know, in hindsight when I look back now, I say maybe I was maybe I was uh, you know, I've gone on the toilet at night maybe a bit more than I should, but it was not you know, there was nothing that jumped out at me and said, Listen, there's something going on because you know, my regular life was playing footy, going away, surfing the whole lot, I was not in any way sick.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Um do you think you may because of this this um uh attitude we grow up with, because I'm I'm listening to you thinking this is m my story. Um until you get to where we are now and you start thinking about it, I said, oh fuck. I probably could have, but I just thought I was getting old.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Yeah, oh I mean there's a certain degree of that with this. So and um with anything to do with prostate, you know, the older you get the more symptoms you'll probably get with prostate. So you'll be going to the toilet more at night time. Yeah. You know, might you might have trouble going to the toilet, you might have trouble finishing going to the toilet. I mean, there's a bunch of symptoms, but that you know, you might have a sore back. I'm my back sore. But you know, that's something we all get when we're old and I was forty years in the building industry, you know, a bad back was every day of my life. Um you know, you go, maybe there's a little bit of denial, you know. But um I can't honestly say that it came as a shock. It was yeah, it was not what you want to hear, but I thought, hmm, okay. My dad had prostate cancer at the same sort of age, so the history was there.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Um so when I was um diagnosed, I went okay, and you know, that was the start of a pretty unpleasant journey, if I can say that. Um so you know, I was I was uh PSA twenty, which is quite high because your PSA is supposed to be below four or whatever for my age it was. I mean that's even if it's at four it's considered high these days. Um so uh yeah, at the urologist, uh let's organise a uh a biopsy. We did a biopsy uh, we did a PET scan. Uh that came back that the cancer had escaped the prostate and I had um a bone metastasy in my hip. Um and then um that was around uh Christmas time, so we my partner and I had planned a holiday, so um I just said listen I'm gonna go on this holiday regardless. Um I think I asked the doctor, you know, what's the timeline and he said it was a couple of weeks gotta make no difference at the moment. So and in that time I uh I started going down rabbit holes and looking for cures and and you know, I gathered all the information I could. I went and got a second opinion, I um I actually ended up at a different urologist. Uh I I don't know how far you want to go into the story, but it's um I had decided after seeing a radio oncologist that that was the way I was gonna go. And so when I was first diagnosed, I decided and this is a bit of a side story, but I uh I'd read that, you know, you go on a keto diet and you starve the cancer. And so I embarked on a keto diet. And um that's a hard slog in itself, but I I was on holidays in Hawaii trying to eat keto, which was near impossible. Anyway, I I I struggled through that and then uh I think I I was uh I think it was maybe eight weeks after diagnosis, I just I got to the point where I um I'd been to see a a different urologist. Um he'd sort of giving me the same scenario, but uh he said, um, listen, I've got a I I'd previously decided I was gonna have radio radiotherapy, I was gonna radiate it and that wasn't gonna be it. That's the way I was gonna go, so I had that in my mind. Yeah. And when I saw a medical oncologist, he he said, Oh listen, I'll I'll send you to my radio oncologist, and um the first thing this guy, uh Jim said, he sat me down and he said, Let's swap seats. And that was uh that was a light bulb moment. He said, uh You're you're fairly young and you're really fit. I said he said, I wouldn't do this to you. He wouldn't radiate me. Which um to tell you the truth, just screwed with my head. I I went home. Yeah, because you'd made you'd made your mind up. I yeah, I had my in my head I was that that was the direction I was gonna go and he turned, he flipped it on its head and said, No, I wouldn't do that to you. I think you have a far better life if you have the operation. So I went home that night and uh I ordered a large pizza and ate the whole thing. And and then the next day I got a loaf of bread and I had Vegemite on on on toast. Everything like I just killed this keto guy dead in its track. Fuck it. I was so sick. I was sick uh just not your ma. And so uh that was uh you know, that was a bit of a change in direction where um I uh met the uh I met Charles Schabert from the prostate clinic. Um just so happened he was uh he was a next door neighbor of my partner's brother and uh they knew each other. So he was really good to talk to. Um so I went in and then so I I was I know, I'd taken you know, the keto diet, I'd taken some stuff from a p you know uh naturopath. I was I had you know, fifty pills a day I was taking natural pills kind of to do anything and then I had another PSA and it was still rising. So that was nothing was working along those lines, so I had to uh make a decision and that was it. I uh I booked in for the operation. Oh actually first I uh I had uh radiation on my hip and then I um booked in for the operation and now I'm pretty much six months down the track from the operation. You know sure there's some side effects from the operation, um, but the last result for PSA was undetectable, so that's a good result. Oh that's that's a radio.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Yeah, uh just listen to that story and when you get the um a little bit similar to I went and I hadn't been to the doctor for 15 years or something. I despised them. Um and uh I went and got my blood He made said go to the fucking doctor and you did a blood test and he the doctor on a normal blood test on a Monday morning rang me up at I had it at 11 a.m. And he rang me at 2 a.m. two two p.m. because I was sitting at home watching Mighty Trains with Danny at Townsville and um he rang me up and he said, get yourself to accident mercy right now. This was in the three hours of a blood test and I'm thinking, holy shit, and I said, Can I go tomorrow? I'm watching Mighty Trains And he said, Nah, if you don't go I'll send an ambulance to your home. And I said, Shit This is deep shit, but what I'm getting b and uh mate, scary words. Scary words that um I'm just doing what I want to do at at this age thinking I'm not gonna work real hard these days, I'm just gonna have a a fair bit of fun and tour and that. And then it it it dawned on me, I said this could be the fucking end.

unknown 16:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

You know what I you know, and and I'm thinking, bloody hell. And I had trouble telling people for I reckon at least three weeks. Yep. It got out, my sisters are trying to ring me a dad, and I just could not talk on the phone, just overwhelmed and almost felt uh this might sound funny, and you might know, almost felt guilty or ashamed. Yeah, I I I I can probably relate to it a bit. In a stupid way. In a stupid way, and then you know, I remember the night they said, You've got 24 hours to live if we don't put these tubes down, and then I thought, God. So, and this might sound funny too. I had a chat to my mum and my brother that night who uh passed away. Yeah, and I'm I'm really sure they bloody said, nah, it's not ready, you just keep fighting and do what you want to do. And I woke up that next morning and I said, I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna beat this. You know, I'm highly unlikely to beat it, but I believe in miracles. This podcast is brought to you by Oswide Adventures. You don't need to be the fastest rider, the best fisherman, or own the flackiest four-wheel drive. Oswide Adventures isn't about black. It's about ordinary Australians doing extraordinary things together. It's about knocking off work on a Friday, loading up the bikes, the swag, the fishing rods, or the camping and heading off with your mate. It's about campfire laughs that hurt your stomach. It's about the story. One more way, yeah. One more advantage, outward advantage every tribble become part of extraordinary story. And that's what you've got to do, isn't it? You've just got to be so fucking positive. And you can't let any but I can see that you've taken a pass to go radiation, and then this doctor said, I'm not doing it, that would have fucked with my head big time. No, listen, yeah, it probably was a I was just my head was spinning. What was your fear at that what was your biggest fear at that time? Did that go through, yeah?

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah, I listen, there was a lot of stuff going through my head because um you know, I'd seen my dad go through it and see what happens with it. Uh and after doing all the research, um you know, there's some pretty s serious side effects from this stuff. And it's and it's and it changes your life. Absolutely changes your life. So, you know, it's a massive decision. And I think you know, if I could give anyone advice, you have got time to make a decision and not rush into things. I mean, there's a lot of information out there now. W back in when I say my dad's my bad dad's day and when we're we're talking well, we're talking sixty something years ago. Oh well no, it wasn't sixty years ago, it was uh anyway, it was you know, forty years ago, whatever it was. Um you know, the doctor was God. You walked in there, the doctor said, You've got prostate clin uh cancer. This is what we're gonna do. You didn't argue, you didn't question it, you didn't go and and pick up the internet and do your research, you didn't pick up the paper and there wasn't uh information in the paper. There was nothing the doctor what the doctor said, you listened to and you did. So you know, things have come a long way since then. There's a lot more information and there's you know, there's been a lot more progress made with the treatment of prostate cancer. So um you know, this is statistics are pretty frightening when you think about it. It's one in eight. Now, out of the one in eight, not everyone is is gonna get a an advanced or an aggressive type of prostate cancer. So you can you know, the old adage is you know, in 90% of men die with prostate cancer. But they don't die of it. So you know, there's a yeah. You can die with it, you know, you can live with prostate cancer. If it's an aggressive form, that's a different story. So the thing is get tested and find out what you've if you've got it, if you've got some sort of symptoms, you know, that's that's that's the that's the big thing, you know.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

You've got to get you now, um you're you're talking about advice and the doctors back in the day were, you know, you could probably say elite. They were top of top of the chain, yeah, but I left um I left uh hospital. I was in for two or three weeks so they stabilized my hema and blood pressure and all that. I left hospital on on on a um Webster pack and you you know there are all my pills in it. Twenty-two pills a day. Is that right? And I kept going back to my um Um, renal doctor Vickers, awesome, awesome blade, awesome bloke. And uh so, what am I still on this pill for? And I challenged him every time we met. Do you know I'm on an aspirin and um a a sleeping tablet at the moment? Two two pills.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Because I challenge the Yeah, there the listen, there's a whole side of the medical industry which you know I went and I when I started going down the rabbit hole of you know, what am I going to do? It's like there's I I realized it is an industry. The doctor has to make a living. So how do you make a living?

SPEAKER_02 22:41

Sell product. Yeah, and then I'll with my eyes are wide open to the medical industry now, and you'd be this a lot, there's a lot of that goes on, and I'm sure a lot of stuff gets done that doesn't need to get done, and a lot a lot of pills are taken that don't need to be taken.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

But when the shit hits the fan and you need to get sorted out, um a witch doctor's not gonna help you. You know what I mean? You need a you need a professional team, and that's uh, you know, I I spent You surrender, don't you? You surrender. I spent eight or nine weeks putting together a team that I was comfortable with, yeah, that I knew that you know, I knew it was gonna change my life. Yeah. So I wanted to be comfortable with the decision that I made. And like I said, I got halfway through that and my head spun around in circles. So yeah, that there's a lot of stuff that goes on and in and you and you know, I my situation was at the very serious end of things. Um, you know, if I I hadn't gone and got tested, there's a fair chance um you know that could have come out a lot different. Um so I I'm pretty grateful to that.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

How do we how do we uh yeah, and and uh I mean my mate, you know, you talk about turning points in my life, or if your mate's done something for you, he he said you you you get because I was come up here to do some he just built a new house and there's a few little things, so I drove up to give him a hand. And um he said, You've gotta go to the doctor, mate. You gotta go. He forced me to the doctor and his wife. And if I didn't go to the doctor that day and get a blood test, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you. Man, it's quite funny. I've grown up as a an adult and all that, and death death has never really worried me because I've sort of experienced a lot of it. Um, and I thought we're all gonna die one day, and if it did happen to me, but do you know what? When it comes to the crunch that you may die seriously, I said, fuck that. Do you know what I mean? It it it it changes your life, doesn't it? You just see things um and it's hard to explain unless you experience, and I want no one else to experience, right? And you'd say the same thing. It's terrible disease I've got, terrible thing that you got, but it changes your life, eh?

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. You uh you know, I think a lot of people those, you know, I'm not uh putting the mocker on anyone or disparaging anyone, but um we spend a lot a lot of our life chasing dollar and and we think that's important, and then you know, you realise uh when you're faced with your mortality that that's not gonna help you.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

That's uh it's it's absolutely seventh or tenth in line of what you're doing at any particular moment. I I'm full of I I've always been a loyal bugger, right? They'd never take that away from me. I take a bullet for people I love. But this little exercise bloody bulshy. He's probably sending of himself again, bro.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Yeah, I just it's just popped up online as well.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

So um yeah, it's a whole life-changing event, and I just nothing really worries me. I don't get involved in I've never really got involved in he said, she said, all that sort of shit. But but I just go around and and you know, people even comment say, Why are you so happy?

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Yeah, I think yeah, you just uh that's it's a life-changing thing, and then the lit you do not stress the little shit.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

No, it'll so and and if we went through life, and it's a great example to give youth today, don't sweat on the little shit because it will change. Make sure you got your your your big it's it's minor in your life when you get to where we are. I mean, we're in the last third of our life, right? 30, 60, six did into the 90s. We're in the last third, but unless we fluke it and live to 100, which I reckon I'd be a grumpy old bastard if I lived that long anyway. So you just embrace what's happening. Nothing's too compliment, can't you? I mean, when that COVID started and I was healthy and just doing some surfing or motorbike riding or travelling up the east coast with my dog, I was all worried about this world news and what they're doing and all that. And I got myself down that many fucking rabbit holes with things I couldn't do anything about. I couldn't give a fucking shit about it anymore. You know what I mean? I couldn't give a shit if elbows elbows to the fucking Prime Minister. I don't really like him, but I can't do anything about it. Yeah, exactly right. But um, so we're talking before we come on. Most of I don't you I've had no pain. I've got no pain out of it. So and and I'd imagine they're prostrated, it's emotional, it's mental, probably more spiritual than you know, than a broken leg. What's been the hardest part of the journey for you? And secondly, what have you learned about yourself?

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Um I suppose uh you know, I look back and I've had a pretty damn good life, so I wasn't concerned that I didn't have a a great life leading up to it, and I I don't have it. You know, I I I don't walk around going, oh, I wish I would have done that, I wish I would have could do that. I I regret to do stuff, so I don't have regrets. It's probably more, you know, I don't like seeing the family suffer and worry about what I'm going through. Um that's one thing. You know, um I've had I hate to say it, but I've had a lot of experience with cancer in my family, you know. I don't uh you know, I can go back and both my mum and dad have had it, and you know, my daughter had cancer when she was six years old, and that was just the most horrendous thing in my life. So I've had um you know, maybe it prepared me for this. You know, when I got it, I just thought, fuck it, maybe it's my turn. Yeah. Um so yeah, um the worst I don't know. I uh yeah, it's a tough one. I uh I suppose you worry about your mortality a bit.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

Um have you discovered have you discovered any any strength that you didn't know you had?

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Oh, I don't I think you dig deep, mate, and uh that strength is there. Uh you just tap into it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Um Yeah. I I you know, you sit back and you question yourself. There's a lot of soul searching goes on with it, obviously. Um it's uh how important is family building? Oh, listen there, you know, that they have your back no matter what's going on. Yeah, they uh they definitely the suff the support is is a key thing. So you have your your dark moments where you you know you whether it's you call it depression or whatever you want to call it, but you do definitely have dark moments and uh having someone there that's that uh has your back and uh kicks you in the arse and gets you off your off the couch and says, uh, you know, come on, you're gonna get the get through it.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Uh yeah, and your mates are a little bit different like mine. If they're they're not actively how you goin', mate, or how you feel, or cuddles and that, they're they're sledging you and getting you off your ass and doing shit, eh?

SPEAKER_01 31:07

You definitely need someone to hang shit on you. That's that's the sure and there's no no shortage of that. Like a you know, it's uh I really noticed it on now uh on on our last trip, they really had my back. Yeah. No, it's so important.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

So has the definition of courage changed for you?

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Um my courage or how I see other people's courage. Your courage. Your courage. Probably more. Yeah, I don't know. I I I I I don't know whether you're too uh you're too caught up in the whole thing to think of that. But you're definitely uh well you're definitely tough tap into something because uh if you don't, you can you can end up in some shit just uh mentally, that's for sure. I think uh you've just got to grit your teeth and you know I'm at the stage with it now that uh I just do one day at a time. I don't worry about what's gonna happen next week with it. I just get up and uh try and get going. I mean some days are better than others, as you know. Yeah. You still are, you still have shit days.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

It it it's quite strange. I if I'm well sometimes I might sleep until nine o'clock or something, because I just I got this always got this fluid in my my guts that's pumping in and out. But I've found seriously, it might be seven or a morning or six a.m. in the morning, and I'm going, I feel fucking terrible. But if I get up, let the dog out, go downstairs, sit in the sun for half an hour, and um work some of that. I tell you what, man, my day goes a lot better by just that enforcing not to stay in bed, and and that's so mental thing because when in half an hour I don't feel sick. Yeah, quite sick. Yeah, you know. Bill, I know I've still got a disease, but I don't feel sick. I can go and do something, but I'm up.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Yeah, you what you're not sitting there dwelling on it.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Nah. Yeah. That's the mind game. Um, let's keep moving along there. These conversations, be it disease or mental health, it it it always I already know on this podcast that I've I've um I've saved people's lives. Yeah, I've got to be able to do that. Because they've told me. They've told me. And I always said, even with my app or what I'm doing here, if I save one human's life by doing this, well, we've achieved. I I can't anymore. Um, forced enough, we're we're getting men talking. We're starting a conversation. Yeah. Do men talk enough about prostate cancer or are they in denial about it?

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Yeah, absolutely. I would say most men are in denial. I being involved in the football club, you know, we have a we have a social side of that football club, and when I was diagnosed, I just uh opened up about it. Um and like you say, if you can get someone who maybe is in denial to go and get a test and uh get themselves sorted out, it's not, you know, it's not a big thing. You just go and you get a blood test and you know, you're at the result. If the result is a bit high, the chances are there's nothing there. I mean, and if the results are high and there's something there, you might have saved yourself from a pretty shocking outcome. If you but if you don't go and get tested, and all of a sudden you wake up one morning, my back's sore, um, I'm having trouble going to the toilet, um, you know, you might have left it a little bit too late. So, you know, I think the best part of being in a club or a bunch of guys, and you know I'm well, and you and you can open up, you know, you can stand out up in front of them and say, listen, this is what's going on, you guys need to get this stuff sorted out. You know, you know, and for guys that are not involved in a social setting like that, that maybe come home from work and they crack a six-pack and they sit down and watch the footy, and you know, maybe they haven't got a bunch of mates they go riding with, or they haven't got a bunch of mates that they play football with, they're the guys that, you know, they're not going to go to the building site or the office and you know, lean over your mate's desk or you know, he's laying a few bricks, and you say, Listen, mate, I I've got trouble going to the toilet, and uh um it's I've got a bad back and I start going away. You know, that they're the guys that slip through the cracks. The other guys that um you know have that social interaction, um, and I or through you know, football and um sporting groups, you know, a lot of guys uh acknowledge that this stuff goes on. Like I said, it's one in eight. It's not a small number. You know, it's a it's a massive amount of people when you put it all together in a population. Um, and so you know, I listened to a podcast um wasn't yesterday or the day before, and uh some of the statistics that came out with uh with uh prostate cancer, they're talking about the number of people diagnosed with prostate cancer will double in the next uh um ten years. Wow. And that's a frightening statistic. It really is. And it's well that goes to one in four. And then, you know, the reporting of it hasn't um got any better. Because guys, whether it's a mental thing or uninformed, um they don't, like you say, they don't talk to each other about it, and so nothing seems to get done till it's too late. Um, you know, there's a flip side of this is that they say, you know, you go and get a PSA when you're when you're younger, and you uh and it can be a false positive, and you know, there's a whole side of that where you you know guys worry about stuff that they shouldn't worry about, and but testing these days, you know, it's a it's a lot more accurate, and there's a there's a different style of testing that comes out, you don't necessarily have to have a biopsy, you can get a you know a PET scan or an MRI and that'll show up whether there's something there, you know. In the old day where you went to the doctor and he stuck his finger up your butt and and you're it's all gone, eh? Yeah, you know, that the that is still maybe it's relevant, maybe it's not. Um so well I think that's got a lot to do with it, that that that fear factor, but maybe a stigma attached to that. I I think that may be some of it, but you know, yeah, I think we're past that now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

You know, um my partner, my partner Carly's a uh she teaches kinesiology and NLP round the round of Australia predominantly, but round the world and uh hypnotherapy and all that. She changes training now. And she's really big on I mean, obviously she does a lot of Chinese medicine and all that and and meditation, which I've been doing and I think it's helped me, um, and it might never matter stuff. But she always comes up and when she's talking at facilitation or with people or new students, she talks about um your car and we service our car, even if it's not Rattley every 10,000, we change the tires on it, we get the brakes checked. We do that twice a year for our car, right? Yep. If only we did that twice a year for our body. Oh. How much that how much of what we're talking, because I can certainly tell you if I did it, my chronic kidney disease was a failure in the system after a bad flu. Now, if I had gone and there was a vasculitis hovering in there, and a blood test two or three years ago would have found that, and it wouldn't have attacked my kidneys.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

But I didn't service I didn't service my body.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Yeah, and I think that's more, way, way more prevalent in men than it is in women because women can sit around in a group and talk about that sort of stuff and it's just run of the you know, I sit around in a group and start talking about how you're feeling and what's going on with your, you know, waterworks, or whether it's, you know, my my kidney, you know, isn't is not performing well, you know, it's it's just unheard of. Um so that's a you know, and I don't know what breaks that barrier down because that seems to be whether that stems back to our hunter-gatherer caveman shit, where we're uh, you know, beat your chest, run through the thing jungle, you're unbeatable, and you don't want to admit that you could be fallible as something as simple as a blood test. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 40:48

So then once unfortunately, it's gonna be blokes like us that have that have suffered this because my conversation's completely different to my mates every time I leave them on a phone. I said, Have you been to the doctor yet? Yeah, have you been? Now I know 15 of my mates down south who are up earlyway, have been to the doctor after what's happened to me because they absolutely shit themselves. I'm the loose one of the group, right? I was indispensable, no colds, no flus, no nothing, a few broken bones and could um suffer a hangover like there's no tomorrow, I'd just go again. And when I got sick, they went, Oh fuck. No, if the captain if the captain's going down. And I'm not just sick, Ragnon Terminal sick. They've virtually they've raced off to the doctor. And you know what? So let me ask you one question. If tomorrow never came, what memories would you leave behind? My last memory is your chance to record your story, your eulogy, your life lessons, your voice, and those special moments for the people you love. Imagine your grandchildren receiving a birthday message from you years from now, or your family hearing your voice long after you've gone. My Last Memory is available on the App Store from Friday, the 3rd of July 2026. For just $49.99 USD. It's a one-off lifetime payment. No subscriptions ever. It's more than an app, it's the greatest gift you'll ever leave the people you love. Download My Last Memory and start creating your own legacy. It's found little symptoms of something that could be bigger already. When you talk about how's it going to change, it's it's it's virtually in in the hands of the gods, which is us now that are are fighting like there's no tomorrow, is to just keep reminding them because we can talk about everything now. It doesn't fuck. Yeah, I don't give a fuck talking about it now. How are you pissing, bro? You know, is it good? Exactly. But whereas before this, I wouldn't have that conversation. It's the last from my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. I mean, one of the questions there, the the emotion of us can change the the the bloke listening to us because there might be someone listening to this podcast around the world now. I don't care if you're in Zimbabwe, South Africa, wherever they're coming from. If you're feeling a bit sick, you're probably sick.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Yeah, well, listen, it's it it costs you nothing to go and get it checked out, and it could be nothing at all, but you could save your life. Yeah, absolutely. Because one of the one of the major things with prostate cancer is there's you do not have any symptoms. You're asymptomatic, you cannot feel sick, you don't, you know, and and that was probably the biggest hurdle of when I got diagnosed is I had to tell the doctor, you convince me that I'm sick because I don't feel sick. Yeah, the only reason I could see the scan and see the cancer and see that it had spread and went, oh shit. Um, you know. And it's uh it's not a it's it's not a silent killer, I suppose, but it is in a way, because if you don't get any symptoms, you could go on to the point where uh there's not much you can do about it when you get that far down the track.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Do you know, talking about chronic kidney disease, and this that freaked me out, there's two point five million Australians right now that could end up like me in 24 hours. Wow. And have no idea they've got it. And probably the worst thing is if you've got chronic kidney disease, you'll probably die of a stroke or a heart attack. The the fluid comes up and suffocates your heart and all that sort of thing. So when a death's recorded, they won't be like recorded as he had kidney disease, it's uh he had a stroke.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

And pretty much if you've got prostate cancer in you, if you die of something else, they won't record the prostate cancer, they'll record what you die of.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yeah. And you know, that the that's the flip side to prostate cancer, like I said before, you know, 90% of men will will die with prostate cancer, not of it. And that's you know, that's a big thing, is that you know um as we get older the the the chances of again increase, obviously. But um, you know, if you if you get it and you don't have an aggressive form of it, you can live your whole life with it. You don't have to have treatment. It's just you know the the the small percentage that have a highly aggressive form of it, you you need to get something going. So, you know, that's that's that's the thing with it.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Alright, Paul, let's move on to um uh moving into the close. I've got um I think I've got ten rapid fire questions for you. They're not they're not uh novels we do, it's sort of one-word answers. And and uh we'll do that and then we'll go into uh a few questions at the end and then and then one last one. So into the rabbit fire. So three words your mates would use to describe you. Three words. You're an idiot.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Yeah, actually I've sort of said a bit of that over the last couple of weeks. Uh I'd hope my mates think I'm uh a loyal and a a trusted friend. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

What's the best advice you've ever received in life? Um Have a go. Yeah. Have a go. Biggest lesson life has taught you.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Um I think if life teaches you anything is to put your ego away. You know?

SPEAKER_02 47:15

Good answer. One thing you're still working on.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

Oh listen, you you never start stop working on your uh your self-discovery, I think. I I think uh the further you go in life, the more you get to know yourself. And you n and and uh you know, through your journey you uh you learn out you learn what you do right and you learn what you're doing wrong. If you don't learn, there's something wrong, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 47:45

Yeah, what's your biggest achievement?

SPEAKER_01 47:48

Uh you know, that's a that's a you know, everyone says the same thing these days and and and it's probably absolutely true is the the if you've got kids, that's probably your biggest achievement. Um and watching them grow up and be happy in their life, I think uh we can do that. Um steer them in the right direction. You've done what you're put here for it. You've given them the tools to to enjoy their life. Uh you know, that's that's what I enjoy. I like to see them happy uh and doing what they want to do. Any regrets? No mate. There's no I you know, if you got regrets, you you're looking at life the wrong way around. I I look at my my life as everything that I've done in my whole life, whether it be bad or good, has led me to the point where I am now. That's uh that's the way I look at my life. What does courage mean to you? Um I think courage w is uh how you deal with the situation you're in at that time. Whether it's you know if if a shark's coming at you in the surf, you are courage or you just run it on instinct. I mean you know that I don't know, courage is a different is it a word you can put it.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

I think I think it's uh pretty if I can uh chip my two pretty courageous what you're going through now and how you how you're doing it. So I think it's courage or you just put it you can't describe anyone uh and unfortunately you to find the depths you can go to when you dealt the ca the the easy, it's uh it's very hard to describe to people, and I don't want anyone to have to describe it to me if that makes sense. Yeah, oh listen, yeah. Um this is this is the the whole podcast is around who is your hero. And it's always the tough questions for people because I do ask them uh who is your hero and why? Talk it. We're not talking Superman or Cartoon characters here, we're talking No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 49:59

Listen This this is a bit of a strange one, but I I I really um I really think my daughter And this is this is her this cool man takes time She was uh she was six years old And she was like She got through that and now she is a doctor How old is she now?

SPEAKER_02 51:20

She's twenty-six now She's uh twenty years ago to fight that's that's a big shit man.

SPEAKER_01 51:27

She's now a doctor at the Royal Brisbane Hospital.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

So you know that's uh that's a big thing that that defining moment at six years of age led her into medicine.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

I think No, I would have to think it did. It was uh, you know, she spent a lot of time in a hospital. She spent a lot of time uh you know, right up until she was eighteen, she was uh constantly getting tested and and uh you know trotted and whatever they'd had to do to make sure she was on and you know, just mental toughness.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

When you talk about mental toughness to get through that and to uh get to where she's got is just Yeah, well you think about how much how much school she would have missed for a start and then Yeah, what would have just needed something so s yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

Yeah, to turn around and she got you know, I'm not blind her trumpet, she's she's you know, obviously gets her smart from me, but she did get the de She did get the Dean Scholarship, you know, in high school to to to go to university and like I said, she missed a lot of school. Yeah. Um and to pull that off and to be where she is now, you know, it's a credit to her. And you know, her mum and uh her younger brother obviously we all went through it. Uh team effort, but she is, you know, and uh just an incredible girl. That really is.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

And that's a yeah, that's an awesome story, that's inspiring. And then you know what? You could probably think about she's got to where she's got for love and support, and you know, her mother and yourself and her sibling brother are probably her hero. Do you know what I mean? But to to fight that together, that's uh that's incredible. Um sorry hopefully, and she probably will listen to this podcast. What would you uh like to say to her?

SPEAKER_01 53:34

Oh listen, I'm what can you say? I'm I'm proud as punch ever. I'm so you know, I'm in what she's done.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

What doctor what doctorate she done?

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Uh well she's she's uh looking a bit she wants to be a surgeon, so she's you know, she's going through the rotations at the hospital at the moment, so you know she's she loves being hands-on. Maybe she gets that for me, you know, banging nails in, she wants to put people back together and uh she's just got that drive to do that sort of stuff to you know incredible.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

Incredible. One of the one of the the big lines I have on the podcast when to talk to people and and to get them is uh you are enough. What does that mean to you, that comment?

SPEAKER_01 54:24

I think that comes down to you being happy in your own skin.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

Let me ask you one question. If tomorrow never came, what memories would you leave behind? My last memory is your chance to record your story, your eulogy, your life lessons, your voice, and those special moments for the people you love. Imagine your grandchildren receiving a birthday message from you years from now, or your family hearing your voice long after you've gone. My last memory is available on the App Store from Friday, the 3rd of July 2026. For just $49.99 USD. It's a one-off lifetime payment. No subscriptions ever. It's more than an app, it's the greatest gift you'll ever leave the people you love. Download My Last Memory and start creating your own legacy.

SPEAKER_01 55:24

Yeah. You know, you know, someone said to me a while not a lot a fair while ago now, but um no one has the power to make you happy. No one on earth has this magical power where they suddenly make you happy. That comes from yourself. Yeah. So um when you're happy in your own skin, that happiness radiates from you, you know what I mean? So you've got to take you know, you can't walk around and we can buy things and we can, you know, get gifts from people, and you know, you that won't make you happy, but when it goes away, you're still gonna be happy within yourself. So if you are you live your life and you've done the right thing and you're happy with what you've done and you know you have uh you have uh a satisfaction of being who you are, I suppose.

SPEAKER_02 56:15

And that's that that's all you can do if you Yeah, and and you know what, it's never it's never too it's never too late to love yourself. It's never too late to love yourself. Like I growing up in that um uh there was an era there where I got pretty hooked on the drugs um and probably did some some shit things, um and I didn't like myself. And then, you know, you can think that's the worst moment of your life and get depressed and anxious, but there's always there's always time while you're putting two feet on the ground to fix fix what you've done wrong and get forgiveness for. Um and I think people forget that a lot. Like I actually, funnily enough, it's not funny, since there's chronic kidney disease a year ago, I actually two things. You ask me a question, who is my hero? I'm my own hero at the moment for for what I'm doing for for myself, but for people, and I actually I actually not in an arrogant way or an eager way. I actually love myself at the moment. Man, that's and and and I can see you're happy. Yeah. And I'm the brokest I've been in my life, but I'm the happiest I've been. You got a much shit going on, but you got a big smile on your face. Yeah, and it's great. I mean, I'm so enjoying what I'm doing with you guys. I'm so enjoying because I get up for golf course and I don't give a fuck about my score where they're all crying that can play better shots. I don't care. I'm just happy to be uh participating, I suppose, with you know, good humans. And the other thing I don't do these days, I don't get attracted to shit people. And your your uh radar is on high alert. Unbelievably on high alert, and they almost don't even come near me. Whether I used to attract tickets, there's no doubt about it when you were young. But um, no, interesting how you learn that. And would it have been good to learn about 30 and love yourself at 30? I don't know. It's taken off as time.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

I think the whole thing is a journey, you know? You are what you are what you've created during your life. That's what you end up with. You know, and if you get if you're fortunate enough to come out wiser and more uh compassionate or whatever you want to call it, um it's a good thing. But if you go through life and you have your head up your ass, well, you know, you deserve what you get. I think uh life's a journey and you're l and and you uh you'll you never stop learning.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

So if there's a bloke listening to us two old bastards now who's scared and avoiding the doctor, carrying a burden alone because he knows there is something wrong fighting the biggest battle in his life and he doesn't know he is, what would you say directly to him right now?

SPEAKER_01 59:03

Mate, you're not alone. You might think you're alone, but uh, you know, as people whether it's it's even if you haven't got a family member left, there are people in this world who will bend over backwards to help you regardless of who you are and what you've done. So you know, don't sit there wondering. Go get yourself sorted.

SPEAKER_02 59:28

Yeah. Thanks, mate. And uh Paul, let's close this up now. We've been going a uh one hour and twenty-eight minutes, which is fantastic. So I'll break it up into a couple of podcasts where I'll have the beginning and all the start, then we'll have that little bit in the in the middle in the close up, probably a couple of episodes, because if I do an hour and a half podcast, my listeners get the shit. So that they like the little they like the little 30-minute ones that puts them to sleep, you know, and that's how I listen to the podcast. And it takes me four nights to listen to 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:02

Obviously, we for you know it's I don't mind having a chat, and it's you know good to have a chat. I think most blokes need to have a chat, especially about this sort of stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:12

And this is where I'm where I'm now getting the conversation started, and people say to me, Why do you want my story? And I say, Because your story is your story. It's actually starting your conversation, and you're you're a you're a bloke that'll have the conversation anyway, but I get guys on here that are shy and said, I won't talk to their mates, but they come on the podcast and they're away. Yep. Cool, mate. Thank you. Thanks for your honesty. Thanks for some getting some shit off your chest because to talk about stuff like this, it helps. This podcast has helped me get through the battle I'm with. Thank you for your courage.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:47

No, thank you. Thanks, mate. It's been a privilege, mate. That's a really good thing. Well, what a journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

Over these last two episodes, we've travelled through one man's life. His childhood, his family, his mates, his adventures, his victories, and then the moment everything changed. We've heard about the fear of sitting in the doctor's office, the uncertainty of waiting for results, sleepless nights, second to guessing, treatment for students, operations and the recovery, and the determination to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But if you've been listening carefully, this story was never about prostate cancer. It was always about courage. It was about what happens when life knocks your ass to the ground. And you decide you'll get back up. While recording this conversation, I realised something. Our diseases are different. His battle is prostate cancer. Mind his chronic kidney disease. But the emotions They're exactly the same. The fear, the uncertainty, the conversations of family. The moments where you steer for stealing at 2 o'clock in the morning wondering what happens now. There are moments when you're forced to realise life is precious and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Paul reminded us today that courage isn't about pretending. You're not scared. Courage is making the appointment. Courage is asking the hard questions. Courage is getting a second opinion. Courage is leaning on your family. Courage is allowing your mates to carry you when you can't carry yourself. And courage is deciding that your story might save someone else's life. One line Paul said, stay with me throughout this conversation. After his death, if you're battling cancer, kidney disease, depression, anxiety, and simply life itself, please hear me. You don't have to do it alone. Reach out, talk to someone, lean on your stride because that's what heroes do. Heroes are the people who never struggle. Heroes are the people who keep going up to fight the stuff. So everybody listening, if you haven't had a healthcare talk, not next month, not next year, tomorrow. Actually do it today. That one simple appointment could use it to use. Oh mate, thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for trusting me, our platform. At least it's in this community. It's one of the toughest chapters of the world. I know your story is going to encourage thousands of people to stop putting a health class. And I genuinely believe it was done right. And around the world. Don't let it end here. Give the episode, start the conversation, ring your dad, call your mum, check on your fit, mate. Tell your kids you love them. And even if you've been avoiding that health tech, please make your point. It is the greatest gift you could ever give your family immortal. I'll leave you with the words I finished every episode with. Don't wait for the YOD to tell someone how much they need to do. Tell them to die. Because tomorrow is the promise. Until next time, take care of each other, take care of each other. Don't work out. I'm about this as being who is your hero. We'll see you on the next episode.