Episode 8 - The Gratitude Habit - Why Noticing Changes Everything

Gratitude shows up everywhere online - but is it actually doing anything for you, or is it just a nice idea you scroll past?

In this episode, Bel gets into what makes gratitude genuinely useful - and it has everything to do with how you train your brain to notice things. (There's a story about a sports car in traffic that explains it better than any neuroscience lecture.)

She also unpacks what gratitude has to do with midlife specifically - the freedom, the fewer cares given, and the quiet shift in what actually matters - and how leaning into it on the hard business days can genuinely change your perspective without tipping into toxic positivity.

Plus, six practical ways to weave gratitude into your day - none of which take more than a minute.

In this episode:

• Why gratitude works better as a practice than a one-off moment
• The "new car" effect and what it tells us about how our brains are wired
• What Bel is genuinely grateful for in midlife - and why caring less about strangers' opinions is a gift
• The freedom that comes with being your own boss in this season of life
• How to reframe the small catastrophes of a hard business day
• Six simple ways to build a gratitude practice that actually sticks

Connect with Bel: Instagram: @belindabayliss.co Website: belindabayliss.co Newsletter: The Midweek Pause

If this episode landed for you, share it with someone who could use a 10-minute reset. A rating or review also helps more women find the show.

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

hi, I'm Belinda. If you're a woman in business somewhere in your forties or fifties, juggling probably more than you should and still trying to sustain a business you care about, this podcast might just be for you. Welcome to Gen X Women in Business.

Audio Only - All Participants 0:16

It's something that shows up regularly on your reels, on your TikTok, but I want to talk about it at a slightly deeper level. So when we think about gratitude, there's often that space of it linking with the word practice, so a gratitude practice.

Audio Only - All Participants 0:36

And it's really important to lean into that because gratitude in the moment is great, but where we start seeing it have deeper and more positive benefits is definitely in that space of a gratitude practice. So showing up each day and naming what you might be grateful for. Research and science has repeatedly shown us that a gratitude practice can have positive effects on the way we think and on our neural pathways. So each day, if we are showing up in a space where we are seeking the moments we can be grateful in our life, then we start noticing that we find more. I liken it a little bit to what I call the new car moment, And that doesn't mean that you've bought a new car, but there might be a new car that you're considering or a new to you car that you're considering. And have you ever had that moment where all of a sudden it's like they're everywhere? Years ago, I remember this little sports car passing me and thinking, "That is gorgeous." And I remember following this car through traffic to try and work out what it was, and eventually I was able to do that. But after that moment, I started seeing them everywhere. And the reality is they were probably always there, but it wasn't until my brain was primed to notice them that I started seeing them. So if we think about gratitude as a practice, then in that same way that we find new cars, there's a really good chance that we start to find the things that we're grateful for. So the next step, I guess, is how does this link to midlife and how does this link to business? Well, in midlife, we know that it gets a bad rap. We know that if you Google the word midlife, the second word, the predictive text that's going to come up is crisis. But what if we started noticing the things that we find about midlife that we can be grateful for? So if I reflect on my midlife journey, I'm grateful that I have less cares to give about what other people think. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going out and breaking the law, and I'm not being harsh. But the idea of considering the opinion of strangers and taking that into consideration in my actions seems sort of wasteful now. If you had met me in my 20s, you would know that that was everything. It was, "What will people think if I say this or do this or wear this?" I don't have those cares so much anymore. I'm more about, am I happy in how I'm acting? do my actions align with my own integrity and values? And if they don't align with someone else's integrities and values, that's not mine to own. The other thing I have found in midlife is I have a gratitude for the freedom. So that might be my freedom where I have more time. I was speaking to a friend the other day who reminded me that time is a very precious commodity when you have a seven-year-old. I don't have a seven-year-old, and in fact, my time is fairly free to do as I want with it. And on top of that, when I add the fact that I am CEO, director, female founder, I have a lot more flexibility in my time, and I'm really grateful for the freedom that gives me. It gives me the freedom to have downtime and rest when I need, but it also gives me the freedom to be creative and inventive. And what are the things that I can do that, that excite and create and, and offer in a wider range for the people I want to work alongside? Business can be super tricky, especially on the hard days. The days where nothing seems to be going right, where clients cancel, somebody wants a refund on a product. you arrive to work to no Wi-Fi or no power. It can be really easy when all of those things are toppling at the same time to feel really overwhelmed. But if we lean into gratitude, we can actually change our perspective It might be grateful that I know now that the Wi-Fi's out and not, not five minutes before I have to start work. I can be grateful to know that a customer requesting a refund may be an opportunity to create a relationship of trust with them, and that's a space where you can find gratitude. A client canceling might be not great for your bank account, but it may free up some time to complete another task or to take a small break for yourself. So gratitude is definitely a perspective as well as a practice. But it's one that if we incorporate into our daily life, that we can find ourselves sitting in a more positive environment. So in line with this gratitude space, I thought I would offer quick ways that you can practice gratitude in your day. So each of these are suggestions. take the ones that land and leave the ones that don't. There's no obligation to do any of these. Simply some suggestions that may work for you and help you find a little more gratitude in your day. So suggestion number one is find a morning anchor. Before you pick up your phone, think of one thing that you are genuinely looking forward to today. Just one. Keep it front of mind as you go about your day. Suggestion two, the reframe pause. So when something small goes wrong, simply ask, "What is still okay right now?" we're not talking toxic positivity. We're not talking about finding rainbows and unicorns. We're just talking about a moment just to reset. Suggestion number three is actually to savor the ordinary that shows up every day, noticing one unremarkable moment. It might be your morning coffee, it might be the light through the window, a cloud in the sky. Just actually noticing it instead of moving past it. Suggestion four is an end of day three. Before you go to sleep, simply name three things that happened today, however small, that you are grateful for. Winding down with a what went well actually shifts your nervous system to a more secure and safe space, which can be really helpful with restful sleep. And finally, say it aloud. Tell someone, a friend, a colleague, even your dog or the cat asleep on the end of your bed, Share something specific that you appreciate about them. Saying it really lands differently than thinking it, and it also has a beautiful ripple flow as you share that space with someone else. So none of these take more than a minute, and the key here is simply consistency over time. Little, tiny daily habits that you might find helpful and that you can always build on over time. The last, number six, and this is a little bit more formal, is the space of considering keeping a gratitude journal. I suggest that people do it in their own way. So you might simply list three things that you're grateful for, either at the beginning of your day or the end of the day, and actually write them down. Pen and paper's best because it uses more of our senses, but if it's a note in the phone, no judgment here. Some people prefer longform journaling, and that is to sit and simply write about what you're grateful for. And there's no judgment here if that's the way your brain works. It's not mine personally, but it is something that I know can be really helpful. Part of the reason I suggest gratitude journaling, and gratitude by the way is one of the key foundations of my processes in my business and in my life, but one of the reasons I suggest keeping a gratitude journal and documenting it somehow is that it's almost like a note for your future self. So if you can write down the things you're grateful for today, you might find on a tricky day when you can't find anything, that you can look back and find the things you were grateful for yesterday or last week. It's almost like preparing your future self for the tricky days. As we leave the podcast, I would love if you could share the podcast with someone else who might find a 10-minute gratitude chat helpful. If you feel comfortable, a like, a comment, a share, or a rating goes a long way in letting the platforms know that this podcast has something of value to offer. the more it gets out, the more women we help. As always, I'm Belinda. I hope your day is awesome, and I'll chat to you in the next podcast.

Speaker 10:18

And now the boring but necessary part. The Gen X Women in Business Podcast is produced for general educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here constitutes psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should not be treated as such. If you are experiencing mental health concerns, please seek support from a qualified professional where guests appear on this podcast, their opinions and views are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Belinda Bayless Co. Or the Gen X Women in Business Podcast. Always seek the advice of a qualified professional with any questions you may have.