Honesty: The A to Z of Career Growth

This week we unravel the topic of  honesty. A very important part in life in general as well as career. Hope honest are you with yourself and those around you?

What
* The quality of being honest: they spoke with convincing honesty about their fears it was not, in all honesty, an auspicious debut.
* Being true. True to one self first and foremost (if you don’t believe you, then why should anyone else?)
* Having integrity → doing the right thing even when no one’s watching
* Sincerity → being genuine and authentic in how you express yourself
* Example: when something goes wrong. It requires honesty to properly establish facts 

How
* Self aware - understand how you tick as a person
* Feedback - Be open to receive feedback from friends and colleagues to help with the above
* Trust - not being afraid to  own up if something goes wrong.
* Example of honesty: being open with close friends. However the juxtaposition comes when we understand that often times people must be allowed to be honest. That means non judgemental interactions. 


#honesty #coaching #career #motivation #testicularcancer

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Thank you very much for stopping by. Your time is greatly, greatly appreciated. If the content does like your boat, remember like your boat. Hi. Your time is very much appreciated. And yes, it's debut. You could even say they spoke convincingly. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening wherever you are, and welcome to the latest edition of the My Coach Ben podcast. Firstly, thanks very much for stopping by. Your time is greatly appreciated, and your attention, of course. And remember, as usual, if the content is to your liking, remember to like, subscribe, press the notification bell, tell your friends and your fam, your colleagues, and let's continue to grow the community. As mentioned last week, of course, we are in International Testicular Cancer Awareness Month, and so I would like to draw your attention to that. For the men out there, make sure you, of course, check your crown jewels, your Albert Halls, whatever you call them in your part of the world, and make sure that all is in order. And for the ladies, if your men are not doing that, please make sure that they do. I'm not going to go into how you can possibly get them to do that, but please just ask. Okay, so without further ado, let's get on with this episode. And following on from goals last week, we are now on to, of course, the letter H. And the letter H in the career growth A to Z is going to be honesty. So, as usual, let's start off with a definition. And if we go to the Oxford English Dictionary, we will see they're defined as the quality of being honest. They spoke with convincing honesty about their fears. It was not, in all honesty, an auspicious debut. You could also say they spoke with convincing honesty about the balls up that happened with the project this morning. One we all know. So, therefore, we can take from that the honesty is about being true, true to oneself first and foremost, because if you can't be true to yourself, then you find it very difficult to be true to others. So, this is one thing we can say, and also it's about having integrity. Honesty is about integrity, it's about being correct, frankly. Um, we've all heard the expression that honesty is the best policy, and I think integrity sums that up very well. And of course, sincerity, if you can speak and act with sincerity, then that builds trust in others around you. So that we can um from the definition, we can uh we can get those three points. Um, and an example, of course, is when uh things go wrong, then we need to be able to be honest with ourselves and with other people in order to make sure that things can be corrected if needs be, or at least that the reason for or how something has happened can be established and dealt with. So that's the the what. Now we move on to the how. Um so how can one be honest? Um it's a bit of a difficult question to answer, but I will attempt to do so in my usual uh in my usual way. Um I would say there's three points. The first thing I would say is one needs to be self-aware, um, and I think having a degree of honesty is about being self-aware insofar as you know, actually, um if I'm honest, this is the situation. Um it's about being able to put yourself out there because usually honesty is often associated um when something um negative happens, and I suppose this is most of the time um when people are speaking honestly, I suppose, um, is when there's um an element of of truth that wants to be conveyed, and uh self-awareness is something that enables you to um be able to be open to being honest, and a lot of the time dishonesty comes about when people um they maybe have some self-awareness, but it's not in not really in the correct way. Self-awareness for me is when um you know the things that that may trigger a situation where dishonesty may um may rear its ugly head. So, this is what I mean by self-awareness. Um, another point I would say is feedback, and feedback is something which goes both ways, and so does honesty, and I'll come on to that in a in a little while. But when it comes to feedback, it's something we have to remember. We we covered feedback in a previous episode some time back, and I would say when it comes to giving feedback, it's very important that you're honest, and in my working life, it's something that um it's a rare skill, I would say. Sometimes people give feedback, and there seems to be somewhere along the line, some kind of um let's say, particular direction, um, and this isn't always fair. Um feedback is something that, as I say, it has to be honest, and when you receive feedback, um then be honest in return. Do you like it? Do you think it fits? Do you think it represents the particular situation that the feedback is being provided for? Or do you find that it's simply unjust and it doesn't represent the reality at all? Whatever you believe the situation to be, um then give that feedback in return. But above all, honesty is the key here, and trust. As I just mentioned, honesty is something that works both ways, and there is an element of trust in order for people to be honest sometimes, and we know that with children, don't we, parents? Sometimes your child may not trust, uh, insofar as um you know you getting angry or maybe being disappointed or something like that, and so therefore, yeah, sometimes the truth can take a little bit of a swerve. We've all seen that with us, specifically younger children as well, um, and this is something that can happen in the workplace, um, as my late mother always used to say, we're all children, in effect, um, and so uh this is something I've come to realise is very, very true, and what I mean by that is um in the workplace it's often important that uh people need to have a certain element of trust, insofar as they can be honest and they can say, Well, look, I don't agree with this particular situation, I think we should go in a different direction. I think oh, I believe maybe this uh approach is not correct, or this um this outcome is not as as we would like, or it's not as expected, or what have you, what have you, what have you. So there are many, there are many ways that um I think trust plays a very important part in the workplace. Um, in the company that I work, there's um in in a lot of these these kind of commercial organizations, there's a um a kind of whistleblowing concept, isn't there, where if you think something is not correct you can sort of whistleblower at suchandsuch.com and then you can sort of explain what you think uh may not be correct. And in order to have this kind of openness and this kind of honesty, it's very important that the colleague, the employee, um the relative, the friend, what have you, um feels an element of trust in order that they can um sorry my notes have closed um in order that uh that they can give this this feedback and report on whatever it is they think has gone wrong in um in an open and honest way. So trust is vitally important. Honesty, so an example, I'm gonna give you a couple of examples. Um so the first one for me is going to be when I first started work um and I worked in uh in a law firm. Um I was um an apprentice trainee, yeah, to all intents and purposes. And um there was a time I just I just finished my uh I just passed my driving test, and so we had a car park and it was often quite congested. And they used to say, Oh Ben, can you go and move this car or that car or the other car? And there was one day when they asked me to move a Bentley, so I thought, oh, this is nice. Um and um I moved this Bentley, went back in the office, thought, oh god, that was nice, and da da da da da da da da. Anyway, later on that evening I got home and uh a friend of mine said, Oh Ben, would you like to come out for a drink tonight? I said, Yeah, of course, right. You know what? I'm just gonna have a quick bath and then I'll meet you there at whatever time. And uh getting dressed, and I took my keys out of my pocket, oh, and there were these Bentley keys.

unknown 9:41

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

I'd taken the Bentley keys um home with me. Um and uh yes, I will hold my hands up the next day. Um I went back and uh I left the keys somewhere, I'm not going to say where. Um, and they they said to me as I walked in in the morning, they said, Ben, have you seen these keys? And I'm like, No, no, I don't I don't know where they are. I left them back on reception. Um this time I was like almost 18, I think 17, and I was thinking to myself, Oh my god, um I think I'm gonna lose my job if I if I tell them what happened, you know. I said, No, no, I left them on reception. Um, so anyway, I'd left them in a particular place in the office, and um someone came in and and said, Oh, you know what, we found Mr. Such and Such's keys, they were on the the desk over there, and I was like, Oh, well, fancy leaving them there. God, what well what a thing, you know. And apparently this guy had um had had had to go to great expense um to get into his car, and to I think he ended up getting lift or something like this. So, yes, that was an example of being rather dishonest um through a lack of trust. Because I thought if I if I tell them that I've taken these things home, um then that's it, which I think most young people would would think. Um, and the second example, which is more current, um, is me being on the other end of the spectrum, and um in the business that I work in, we um we have people that come in and work as a work student. This happens in a lot of companies, doesn't it? You have someone who comes in as a work student and they spend some certain time with you, maybe they're they're with you for the whole of however long until they finish their study or they may go and work in another um department, and uh and um our work student or previous work student actually now works with us, we we we've taken him on, and there there are times when um maybe he um may have done something which let's say it's not really right, it's probably balls it up a little bit, but the point is that I like to think that in the team I'm working, um, our lad who shall remain nameless, of course, is and has been able to put his hands up and say, Look, Ben, I'm sorry, this hasn't really gone according to plan. Um and I like to believe that this is because we have an atmosphere which is which is open, um, there is an atmosphere of trust, and so therefore, if something does go wrong, he can hold his hands up, and this is something that we've we've actually made an effort to make sure uh that we have this kind of environment. And if I look back to the younger Ben, the environment that I worked in, frankly, didn't have that, unfortunately. I think those involved would would probably agree with that if they look back. Um, but I think in this day and age, that old sort of in that period, um, there weren't many environments really like that, to be honest. So, excuse me. So that um would be my second example. So in the team I'm in, um, you know, we we have an environment of openness, of trust, um, and when something does go wrong, then we can um, you know, someone can openly say so without fear of being um I don't know what the word is condemned or hung at dawn or whatever they they feel may happen. In summary, how can we summarize honesty? Well, first we saw the definition, which was the quality of being honest, and there was a definition they spoke with convincing honesty about their fears, which we could also interpret as being um some kind of mess up. Um, in what was not in all honesty an auspicious debut, that was a definition that we were given, and we went on to interpret that as meaning um honesty as being um being true, true to oneself, and also having integrity insofar as one is doing the right thing and having the trust in order to do so, um, and being sincere and being genuine and authentic in one's um in one's discussions, I guess, and one's behavior. So these are the things where we um talked about the what and the how we've discussed and had a quick look at being self-aware, so understanding maybe the situations where dishonesty may arise, and we've looked at one or two examples. Um, also feedback from both sides of the table. So, feedback should of course be open and it should be honest above all. Um so keep the uh agendas or the political um situations out of that feedback, is something which is between two or more people, and it has to be honest, otherwise, it's a complete waste of time. And in order for that to happen, there has to be an element of trust. And as I mentioned in terms of examples earlier in my work life, um there wasn't, or at least I felt there wasn't, an atmosphere of trust that would enable me to be honest when a certain situation happened. Um, and more recently, of course, in the team that I'm in, I try to make sure because of those situations that have happened in the past, that we have an environment of trust and of openness so that people can be honest when things um don't go exactly according to plan. And I think we can all give a few examples of that. So there I would say we have a fairly decent summary of honesty, what it's about, how to be honest or act in an honest way, and I hope that is um is able to give you some food for thought and help you in your um in your dealings with whether it's your career, this is the the main focus, but it's also valid in your personal life and in your personal relationships as well. Let's not forget that. So I will wrap it up there. Again, thank you very much for your time and attention. Look after yourselves and one another. I think it's going to be a sunny couple of weeks ahead, or at least it is in this part of the world. So, until the next time, take care, peace. Your coach Ben.