Episode 12: We Made It To Episode 12?! Sobriety, Relationships & What We’ve Learned

In this season finale of Too Sober For This, Shell and Iain are looking back on the first season of the podcast: what they’ve learned, what surprised them, and the conversations that stayed with them.

From recovery, relationships and body image to self-talk, identity, friendship and finding peace in your own head, this season has been a smorgasbord of incredible conversations. There’s been lot about accountability, changing the way you speak to yourself, and the uncomfortable reality that healing is often your responsibility, even when the damage wasn’t your fault.

Shell and Iain also talk about the pressure to constantly improve yourself, the weirdness of modern wellness culture, sobriety as a long-term relationship with yourself, and why they both feel increasingly suspicious of anything society suddenly decides is “healthy”, “aspirational” or “the right way to be”.

In this episode:

• The reality of building something creative without instant gratification
• How recovery changes your friendships, relationships and sense of self
• The exhausting pressure to constantly optimise, heal or “fix” yourself
• Body image, chronic illness, wellness culture and learning to exist outside trends
• The difference between blaming your past and taking responsibility for your future
• Why the voice in your head matters more than almost anything else
• Why peace and serenity can feel unfamiliar when you’ve spent years surviving chaos
• What they’ve learned from 12 weeks of difficult, funny and unexpectedly honest conversations

As always, there are also sober w4nker wins, podcast statistics, celebrity gossip, gay agendas, emotional support tea cakes, arguments about black pepper, merch dreams, chaotic tangents, and ongoing proof that sobriety does not automatically turn you into a calm or emotionally regulated person.

Thank you for listening to Season One of Too Sober For This. Honestly, we didn’t expect this many people to care and we definitely didn’t expect over 500 downloads, people messaging us about the episodes, or to still be sitting here 12 weeks later with matching mugs!

Listen now on all podcast platforms, and let us know: what conversations from this season stayed with you the most? 

Connect With Us

@toosoberforthispodcast

Shell Righini - @shell_righini  Iain Anderson - @iainanderson.comedy

Traumedy Show - https://iainandersoncomedy.com/

Listen to Shell’s podcast We Recover Loudly here on Spotify  

This Podcast Is Brought to You By We Recover Loudly Merch

Bold recovery slogans and wearable reminders that recovery doesn’t have to be quiet.

Shop here: www.werecoverloudly.com

@werecoverloudly

Mastered and edited by Unmuted Studios.  Podcast production, editing, and creative support.

www.unmutedstudios.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Hello and welcome to this week's last episode of season one of Too Sober for This with your hosts Charaghini and Ian Anderson. Oh my god, we got it perfectly timed. It's only taken twenty seven years.

SPEAKER_03 0:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 0:19

How are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:20

I'm good.

SPEAKER_07 0:21

How are you? I'm good. Well, hopefully by the time this is out in 2028 on YouTube, because I've had the time to do the edits and that, people will not just be listening but watching and realizing We're sat next to each other.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

We're sat next to each other, guys.

SPEAKER_07 0:35

How exciting that.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Yeah, we're in the same house.

SPEAKER_07 0:38

We are.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

I've come to stay with Shell's parents and Shell turned up.

SPEAKER_07 0:42

Well, we realized my parents and I that I've gotten to a certain age that we just have to accept that it will be a gay man that takes me off their hands. And so I'm trialling Ian. And my mother has washed his pants, so I feel we've already crossed a boundary that we cannot return from.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Yeah, I mean, I was surprised she did it by hand and didn't return them.

SPEAKER_07 1:05

Um, but yeah, so I mean, normally we start this show with where in the world is Ian Anderson. Where in the world are you?

SPEAKER_03 1:13

I actually don't know.

SPEAKER_07 1:14

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 1:15

That's the problem with the Shires of the England. No one knows where you are. And also there's no phone signal.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Yeah, I don't know specifically where we are. We are somewhere near Shire Park. That's where I got off the train.

SPEAKER_07 1:29

You were in Pershaw, kind of.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

But yeah. I was in Derby before that. No comment Derby. And then I then I got off the train at Worcestershire Park. We're very nice. Yeah. But you could feel the stickiness of it all.

SPEAKER_07 1:41

The stickiness.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Yeah, and the sticks.

SPEAKER_07 1:44

Oh, I thought you meant the texture.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

No, no, it was just like I got off and I went, Oh, there's like 10 people here. Yeah. I know, because it's the least busy train station I've ever been in my life.

SPEAKER_07 1:54

Well, in the planning of you coming to stay here, every time you were messaging me, going, I'll just jump on a bus, I'll get an Uber. I was just like, no.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

Then my travel tip for anyone coming out here is be by your wage, bring your own horse.

SPEAKER_07 2:06

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:09

And be prepared to lose that horse. That horse in a battle with you and you're a gypsy over where to sleep that night.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

That's that, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:17

So, as I said, this is our last episode of season one. This is episode 12, which is why I have dressed up in my glitsiest disco ball t-shirt, which again in 2028 you'll be able to see on YouTube. And you have worn beige.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Beige. I'm wearing red crackie bottoms under here.

SPEAKER_07 2:38

That's true, you're very daddies. And we've also sat in this kind of like, oh, could they maybe do Saturday morning television? Is this a vibe? BBC, ITV.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

ITV.

SPEAKER_07 2:48

We're just making it easy for us. Should we bring that Big Brother? No, not Big Brother, Big Breakfast.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Big Breakfast, or we could be like the slightly better Ant and Deck, because we're already sober.

SPEAKER_07 2:57

We are already sober. So we're already winning. I don't know if I want to be either Ant or Deck. That's why I went, ooh.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:03

Because I remember back in the day there would be this whole like, oh yeah, I want to be X, I want to be Matt. I don't want to be either.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

No, I want to be myself. No, I want to place Ant and Deck.

SPEAKER_07 3:11

Yeah, we're in a good place, Ant and Deck. We don't want to be either of you.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Yeah. Do they do they still are they still a thing?

SPEAKER_07 3:18

What m together?

SPEAKER_03 3:19

On TV?

SPEAKER_07 3:20

Yeah. They're in the jungle. Get me out of here, aren't they?

SPEAKER_03 3:23

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

I don't watch TV.

SPEAKER_07 3:24

Yeah. Yeah. They're still vaguely where are you trying to suggest your cultural reference might be out of date? Yeah. Yeah, it is a little out of date. I don't know who's replied who's who's replaced Ant of Depp. Maybe no one.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:36

Enter. Shell and Ian.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:39

Or Ian and Shell. We'll work on that. So because it is our last ever episode, last ever episode.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Last ever episode of the day.

SPEAKER_07 3:47

Because it's our last episode. And again, this isn't going to work very well on a podcast because it's very visual, but I did get you a present. No way. To celebrate our last episode. That's crazy. And I also got one for me, so it's one of those presents. Oh my god. But since we have wrapped on season one.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

Oh my god! That is amazing. It's a two sober for this mug. Um jazz.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

I know. That is so I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Because I have a traumedy mug with my own face on it of all the panels.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Which is a traumedy for all.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

It's weird.

SPEAKER_07 4:24

So next season, we'll have our mugs exactly when we're in our very professional studio. Yeah. Oh so that is our uh yeah, that's your present. I'm I'm assuming mine's in the post. Yeah, it's also it is the first of June, so happy being gay months.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Happy gays!

SPEAKER_07 4:46

Which I'm sure is actually something we'll talk about today. So the premise of today's show is that we are going to do a little retrospective, a little looking back, and we're gonna share it. Share, share, share. We're gonna shower it back and have a little think about what we've already talked about this season, uh, where we could have done better.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

What we've got four or five listeners out there.

SPEAKER_07 5:12

Well, well, this is actually what I was gonna start the podcast off with is a little bit of stats because we love a stat here.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

We love a stat.

SPEAKER_07 5:19

So we've got some podcast stats. Yeah. Um the first one is that we've recorded and released 12 weekly episodes. Uh, and statistically, around 80 to 90 percent, which feels quite wide for a statistic, um, of podcasts never make it to episode 10. So statistically we're 10% above the 10.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Why do you think that is? Um people give up.

SPEAKER_07 5:46

I would suggest considering when we've divided the labour, one person has done a lot of the labour, uh, listeners I'm pointing, yeah, then it might be the reason why one person doesn't realise. They're long work, man. Yeah. So a lot of editing. No, no, it's also like I say it to people when I am in my company Unmuted Studios, by the way, if you are looking for a podcast producer, um, you can't do a podcast if your goal is to make money and to like there's easier ways of getting yourself out there and not necessarily getting yourself out there, but there's less time-consuming ways. However, a podcast is such a beautiful piece of like held history, it's a great document of who you are, your views, your brand, and all of that. And so it's worth it for us who are trying to get the you know, a job on the BBC one day, maybe, or just be friends with Fat Tony, Fat Tony.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

I think it's good to be able to talk about things in conversation and it'd be out there. Like, I've always enjoyed being a guest on a podcast, but like my friend, who is our other listener, he Fabio said that he loves the fact that we have different views, but that we're able to just like still talk about things, and I think that's the thing. Like, I think that the art of conversation has kind of died. Like, I don't want to listen to podcasts of five people always agreeing with each other.

SPEAKER_07 7:12

Yeah, no, I think that's kind of weird, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:14

It's like that's kind of the problem.

SPEAKER_07 7:16

Yeah, and I think also like sometimes a lot of podcasts out there, I love how we're just we've done 12 episodes and obviously we're shitting on everyone else's. Um, but I do think some podcasts out there specifically try to be the controversial voice in the room, and especially a lot of the bigger voices are all normally or always white heterosexual men who have like, you know, done time or have a real big opinion on things I've got nothing to do with. And it's just been nice to be able to have our own space within that um hemisphere or whatever, where we don't have to pretend to be anyone other than who we are, yeah, just to get 12 listeners. Um, but no, podcasting that is the reason why people don't do it. It's it's an incredibly um time-consuming admin side of stuff for a very small amount of reward instantly. And we've talked about this on the podcast, the need for instant gratification. The great thing about podcasts is that it stays in space and time and grows. Yeah, and I was saying to you just today how my original podcast, We Recover Loudly, I do no marketing or anything around it currently, and yet it's still every week is getting downloads, which that podcast is all about sharing stories from addiction to recovery. And I know that every person that listens to one episode is hopefully being helped. I say I know, I hope they're being helped, and so it's the same. So again, this number might not feel a lot when you think about it in comparison to the big boys, but too sober for this has had over 500 downloads in since in our season, which considering we've got no network, no studio, no paid marketing, so that is genuinely all done by word of mouth and by the wonderful listeners that we had, yeah, and by my mum sharing about it, which is kind of cool. Like 500 people have listened to us talking about whatever.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Um thank you, listeners.

SPEAKER_07 9:19

Uh, most listened. Well, this one isn't such a surprise. Our most listened to episode was of course episode one. It then drops off, so we could we could read that one of two ways. Um, but the first episode of any podcast is always the most listened to. But the second most listened to episode, any ideas?

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Well, I want to say the Manosphere one.

SPEAKER_07 9:40

It wasn't, it was actually that was quite close. I think that was third. It was our wonderful episode with the very handsome Ben Gimbs.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Oh, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_07 9:49

With the wonderful sober boozer Ben, yeah, that was our second most listened to episode. Um, and this is apparently a statistic that AI has told me, and I'm gonna trust it because I gave it all the data, the raw data. Apparently, 83% of our episodes ended with me saying, Great, we've ended it yet again on a gay note. 83% of episodes have ended on a gay note.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Yeah. So there you go.

SPEAKER_07 10:17

On Pride Month. So there you go. There's some podcast stats. We haven't got a lot of stats, but I mean, yeah, cast your That's good, isn't it? Yeah. Considering, like we said, we've done good. Cheers. Wrong wrong mug. But yeah. What a mug.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

What a mug.

SPEAKER_07 10:32

What a mug. Um, I mean, yeah, cast your. So this time last summer, we met up in London with the idea of what's October? Oh gosh, was it October? Even uh, gosh, I we've not even done this for a year then.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

No, can't be because I was on your podcast in the April and it came out in the summer. Yeah. But we met up in London when I was doing shows there in October. October, I was there for the uh Lambeth Fringe.

SPEAKER_07 11:00

Yeah, because we've got has everyone got a fringe these days?

SPEAKER_03 11:03

Oh yeah, yeah. The London Bangs.

SPEAKER_05 11:08

That's what I want to go to. The London Bob, the London County Bob.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

London Country Bob. So I was over, yeah. We went to ministry. I was over there for those few days because I was, yeah, September, October I was in.

SPEAKER_07 11:20

Yeah. And we did a two-hour recording, which was supposed to just be like a weeb later. A weeb later. And um, we had some quick fire questions. That sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

Ended up picking the two hours.

SPEAKER_07 11:34

Which um I am going to get edited and released as the lost tapes.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

The lost tapes. The lost tapes. Yeah, like the like the Abbey Road state.

SPEAKER_07 11:42

Yeah, or like the the emails that have just come out from the Epstein files. The two sober for this files, too sober for this files. But yeah, I'm gonna release that because that is quite funny. But it again, I think it's pretty, I don't want to say we're inspirational, but hey, the word just came out. It's pretty inspirational to think that from October we're now sitting here with branded mugs. You know, like that's that anyone could be this, could do this, or could they? No. I don't think so. Not anyone could do this.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

People would say it, but nobody would actually follow through on it.

SPEAKER_07 12:16

And in fairness, I am proud that we followed through in it because yeah, I know myself anyway, I'm somebody that will have big ideas who doesn't end up following through, but having you has made me be like, okay, I can't let you down. And that helps to get these things done, which somebody like me with my brain really needs.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

So if you could help me follow through on anything else, that's how I feel about that's how I feel about doing shows though. Like I think like once you start booking things, you're in it. Like, I don't really ever want to do a show. Like last night before we went out, I was like upstairs having a nap in the afternoon, wasn't it? I went for a nap and I was like, God, I don't really want to Yeah. I don't really want to go out. Do you mean like it's like but it's then once I'm out I love it. It's true, like I need to like dangle the carrot for myself.

unknown 13:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:06

Sometimes you stand at the top of the staircase going, ooh, can I just trip?

SPEAKER_03 13:11

No, like I do all the stuff I hate to do first.

SPEAKER_07 13:18

Well that's it's the eat the frog theory, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 13:20

Yeah, I was editing that reel, like you saw, like I just needed to get it done.

SPEAKER_07 13:23

Get it done.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:24

Yeah. No, I'll definitely miss having an accountability buddy and some structure, but I'm sure we can figure out some other things to be accountable for.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

It's social. Yeah, I'll edit for bed.

SPEAKER_07 13:36

I know, literally. I didn't edit this Sunday because we're only recording today, and I was like, okay, what's she gonna do? I had brunch, I washed my hair.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

I know she's having a great time, she's got all the fringes.

SPEAKER_07 13:48

I know literally. Um, so our first episode we talked about true love. Um at the time, you were still very much in a love bubble. You were quite recently engaged. How is your fiancee?

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Oh, he left.

unknown 14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:04

That's what the reel was about this moment.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Um yeah, we're great. Yeah, we're very good. But we're like, we talk a lot about relationships, I think, even in the other episodes, and it's like because he's like a touch point for me. It's like, I think that you know, we were talking about this yesterday as well, with your sister and everything, but that's the one area of my life that is not stressful, which is the opposite of so many relationships I've had, you've had, and in fact, people in my life I know.

SPEAKER_07 14:33

Yeah, like you say, it's like a good relationship, and I think that's true of a friendship as well. We've talked about it again on the episodes, and I was reflecting on it with some friends that I have in my life or people I have in my life. Um, and it's those people that your nervous system just feels safe around that when you walk away from, you feel rested and at peace. It's not just love relationships, it's friendships as well, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 14:55

And yeah, like I think it's like there's a standard you set for yourself, and then it's like whether you can maintain that standard. I think with romantic relationships it's harder because there's part of us when we're younger, especially where we want to impress people and like almost convince people to like us, but I just maybe it's been in my 40s as well. Like I store the energy for that. I do miss home when I'm away, like don't get me wrong, like it's not easy for me to be away from my partner. I actually I was home for 24 hours between two week-long trips, and sometimes that actually is worse because I get home and then I'm away again, so it's like June, I'll be home the whole month. We'll spend the whole summer together basically, which will be lovely, you know.

SPEAKER_07 15:41

Probably would have been a better time to do the podcast. I was happy when you weren't working, because it's been really in fairness. We've said about me putting in all of the work, it's been really hard for you. You've been all over the world trying to fit this in amongst scheduling and at silly times in the morning for you, and after late shows early in calling.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Sometimes recording the podcast, it's a bit like going to a meeting. It's kind of like, no, but it just gets me out of my head. Because, like, I mean, it's quite I love my life and what I do, but like I'm kind of tired of talking about myself and thinking about myself. I felt like that's the first year I did anyway, and I said to Leo, I got home and I went, I'd been talking about myself for a solid month. Come see my show, me, me, me, me, me. I'm at that point now where I would love to just be of service somewhere for the month of June.

SPEAKER_07 16:35

Yeah. Um, you know, well, luckily it's Pride month, so as many gays that you can service.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

I'm gonna service your lads. Uh yeah, but just to be like, I think like to have the podcast to just talk about to be in a team and do something that isn't just me, my show, talking about me interviewing, like it's been really nice to have that kind of mental view.

SPEAKER_07 16:55

A hundred percent. And I think also with sobriety, like we've said from the very beginning, it's you know, it's and it changes as the years, which we've talked about with Amelia especially, that it's not our identity, it's a footnote to who we are, and it does develop over time. For me, I'm half as much so basically as you, so to me, it's still probably is a bit more present. Um, I also do have a whole recovery brand, but like you say, it's just one of the great things about sobriety though is that we have our brains back and to be able to use it. And actually, sometimes we don't want to talk about that stuff. We want to talk about the bigger things and the bigger picture, and that's what we get in meetings, which sometimes we don't get in the outside world, you know. Especially, I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but like not so much now, but like a fear around sharing with a friend that you're having a bad day or feeling a bit low, or if something's not going right, because they're like, Oh, well, are you gonna relapse then? And you know, so you just stuck it in. We can talk about that stuff with people in the rooms, but again, it's been quite nice to have conversations about important things and not have a person worry about do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 18:05

Like the triggering or it's funny you say that because I don't think anyone in my life would even consider that an option for me.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Yeah, because a lot of people who are very close to me have never seen me drunk.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

I can remember me being drunk.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Like even my friend Julie, who I talk about in the show, when I was about three years old, she's like, I just can't really imagine you've got drinking your friend. Yeah. So it's funny, like that. Yeah, like I think that people like they see me having a hard time, but I don't think they think, oh my god, is he gonna pick up? Like, I think that would really surprise people actually.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

If I did that. It's interesting because I think people around me that would maybe think that, don't I know anyone? Anyone that like wants to talk sobriety with me, which is rare, um, probably has a drink problem.

SPEAKER_07 18:58

True. I mean have you yeah, I mean, have you seen like friends come to you for advice?

SPEAKER_03 19:04

Yeah, like I've got a friend who tried to get sober or came to a meeting with me years ago on Barcelona. She went once, that was it, got a big book, but never threw the big book out, moved from Barcelona to another country and took the big book with her. Still drinking, and then started going to meetings a few years ago, was sober, was all about it, and then wasn't and was drinking again, you know. Her and her partner just say get sober and now they drink again. And but every time I see her, she'll always mention oh yeah, I know I'll need to get sober eventually, and I just don't say anything about it, but I never talk to her about recovery if you're listening to this. Uh but like I never talked to her about recovery, I never bring it up. But she brings that up around me, right? And I think that is like sometimes my sobriety will make people with a problem really uncomfortable about how they are. Like, I'm never someone that would be like, Oh, you're having a drink, are you? Like that it's not even an it wouldn't occur to me to say anything about anyone else's drinking, but people talk about their drinking to me.

SPEAKER_07 20:14

Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? You'll just sit down at dinner with friends and they'll suddenly be like, So I've been having two or three glasses of wine after work. You're like, What?

SPEAKER_03 20:23

And you'll just like Can you pass them on too?

SPEAKER_07 20:25

Yeah, like okay, what do you want me? But I don't have a problem. And depending on the friends, sometimes I'll be like empathic, and sometimes I'll be like, Yeah, I'll see you in two years. Yeah. There's a great meeting on a Tuesday morning. Yeah. Now always empathic, obviously. No, but I think the reason that that I was thinking about that and about relationships and how they evolve and stuff over time is that somebody reached out to me on Instagram recently, just last week, that you know, this is like a person from 10, 12 years ago in my life when when I worked in Birmingham and reached out and just kind of said, Oh, I've I've kind of having a break from drinking and I feel incredible. And does this last? And and like, you know, but that and I was amazing. I'm like, I'm so happy to talk to people in that respect that reach out. Um, that's again one of the things, and and and we didn't have a we didn't have a bad relationship, we had a toxic relationship. It was friendship, it was a friendship, we worked together and stuff, but again, anything that's fueled by alcohol and stuff is you know very toxic by nature. Um and I was really surprised to hear from them. Like they're not one of the people I would have thought to hear from. And stuff like that is pretty special, isn't it? You're like, again, I don't want to throw around the word hero, but you want to call me that. No, but it is joke, like it is, it's really wonderful. Like, um, I know that we we haven't done it in this one, but we sometimes talk about our sober wanker wins of the week, and that for me felt like a bit of a sober wanker win. And I also had somebody reach out. on the on my socials about my other podcasts we record the loudly uh a link wasn't working on some random site that I didn't even know it was on and I was like oh okay weird okay let me fix this so I was like what is this website and again just to find out that somebody had found a link to it and then they were like I love this podcast it's been brilliant I've loved letting all of them I've actually got your socks they were gifted to me and little things like that you think like okay it's it's worth not all relationships have to be this big moment type things yeah and the long-winded point of this is that also today on a meeting somebody said that they experienced serenity for the first time this weekend and like just that peace and I think that's again something that you and I have discussed is that relationship with self which is the most important relationship and that's been again a really recurring theme over all of our episodes really there's the only guaranteed relationship that you have any control over. Like you don't we were talking about this yesterday as well weren't we like it's like we're like basically a retreat at Shell's parents' house for like and a recovery retreat this place and then my old sponsor she stays here sometimes because it's near her university and she is she's like I come here I sleep deeply I have these moments of like talking to my higher power like she's full on fucking rehab it's so funny she loves it it's like so we've been we've had a lot of really great chats here at the White Waters and um I was like but like I think that it's it really the way I think and feel about myself is the only love I can guarantee in my life like I can guarantee that Wale will stay in love with me and I can't guarantee that other people I can guarantee that like I can absolutely guarantee I can take care of myself like that's a promise I can keep but like and and and why wouldn't you want to invest in that do you mean like why not me so I think like hashtag why not me.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

Yeah hashtag why not me like I tell myself stuff like that all the time like you know especially when people get that eye rolling when you're like if you're someone that has dreams and then like someone says like oh yeah like but it's like yeah somebody had to start somewhere do you know what I mean like nobody was born into the careers they are like it is hard work and you know I'm doing comedy and it's a bit of a nightmare sometimes but it's like I love it while I'm doing it even on days where it's very hard and it's like the voice in my head is the biggest thing I've learned in recovery is being able to control the voice in my head and what it says. Like that that that is entirely up to me.

SPEAKER_07 24:50

Like everyone's like my head keeps telling me it's your head right is it your voice oh yeah it's my voice yeah has it always been your voice and I say this because it's often when you go to therapy certainly therapies that I've been in when I because you and I have very different mindsets and a side note I've been very inspired over these last 12 to 13 weeks or whatever and I'm definitely gonna not necessarily change in my thought but it's been a a process of you've planted seeds for me.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 25:23

Um which is all we can ask of any time we interact with people you know is those seed planting um but in therapy they'll often say well who is that voice in your head you know is it always been your voice you know or has it changed over time?

SPEAKER_03 25:38

I mean it definitely sounds like me.

SPEAKER_07 25:40

Well yeah I'm not saying is it a small Chinese man in your head going to be happy about to go really racist.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Yeah look at me growing but like no it is because I'm not a great believer in calling it my mother's voice, my father's voice. Yes they taught me to talk that way about myself right but once you've got enough self-awareness to realise that it's problematic then it's my problem I'm not doing anything about it. I didn't cause it but it's my responsibility and it's my inheritance and I think like imagine you got inherited like an old crappy house right and you were just sitting there complaining about this old crappy house you were left in the well and how it was falling apart and it was a mess but you just didn't do anything about it to make it a beautiful house right you just sit there and talk about oh it's a money pet oh blah blah blah blah it's like yeah but it's yours now right and that's the thing like I inherited an old crappy mindset. Yeah like that's a great analogy by the way I can't believe I never thought of this before I can't believe this is an or this is brilliant.

SPEAKER_07 26:48

It was inspired by you yesterday saying because most people uh end up inheriting all of them I think that's such a true analogy you wouldn't sit in a rotten old inherited house and go well this is my lot you would spend you would spend money on investing it you get the and you also you wouldn't do it alone you'd get experts in you wouldn't sit there and going like well I guess I should plumb look this analogy it's got layers it's got layers new podcasts old happy house I love this well you wouldn't do your own fucking plumbing because you're not a plumber.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

No you would get a plumber in yeah i.e a therapist or a healer or whatever I think that the I yes I was taught to be self-critical at home but once I once you realize okay this is the way I talk to myself and it's not good for me it's kind of like admitting that you're an addict and doing coke and being like well what am I meant to do like and so owning that voice in my head allows me to be able to do something about it. If I keep saying well my mum's in my head saying this and my dad's in my head saying this I'm still blaming them at nearly 42 do you get what I mean like it's not only parents though I would say it's societal like we were not brought up to be boastful people and it's also very Britishness.

SPEAKER_07 28:04

It's also gender wise as well you know women are not you know the moment we start boasting and stuff like that it's like oh she's a show off she's a there men know it's you know it's power it's dominance it's but blaming doesn't blaming like blaming it doesn't do anything for anyone like are you gonna wait on an apology from society for your body issues like that's the thing like I'm I'm waiting I'm waiting on a I'm sorry from the gay community 100% like it's not gonna work. And I was really inspired to hear Amelia speak the way she does about her body and how she loves she's amazing but again about how it is a journey and stuff like that. God that feels so far away from me right now. You know we've been at home all weekend I'm wearing oversized this oversize that oversize the other I do wear different clothes here to what I wear in Bournemouth because I want to be as hidden as possible because I am so ashamed of my size and stuff especially since getting fibre in my address especially since not being able to work but again something that you have again it's a seed planted and it's these things that a lot of people with chronic illness will relate to it's like we have to find a new way of living and that is our responsibility and it is very I wouldn't say it's easy it's actually probably harder for us to not stay in the comfort because our discomfort isn't just being oh a little uncomfortable doing something new it's like it's pain it's days of having to rehabilitate yourself all of that so there's so much fear and anxiety moving out of my little world that I've made but you have you know it's that plant that seed of like we'll just get a little bit uncomfortable just do one workout and see how it goes for half an hour. Just do one little thing that's different and talk to yourself better.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

Yeah but again I do think that that's just such a that's uh another journey it's but it's so like it will change everything.

SPEAKER_07 29:55

But I do think I talk to myself very very differently to how I talked to myself in early recovery and again and I know other people relate in as much as that I do hear a kind of voice and I do have a come on what are you doing and why are you doing that and could you not maybe and stuff like that. So again it is there and it's about that one getting louder. That whole like we were talking about earlier yesterday you know becoming your own loving parent that voice and being that kind of like guide and stuff which you know have you ever heard of internal family systems you know and it's about who's in control your inner teenager and I've had my inner teenager in control for years and years and it's about letting that one know that they have what they need and going to the I think then you go to the parent I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Oh there's like a whole I I imagine them like blobs.

SPEAKER_07 30:47

Yeah there's a lot I think there's like five Annace Modis is a huge fan. Oh really oh yeah she did that documentary with um Gabo Mate about it as well I'm not gonna lie being ADHD I like to read about three or four pages of every theory and pretend I'm an expert and then move on to the next yeah no not even just literally read three pages and then announce it's the base it's the best. I know I read the review it's the one and then move on to something else. But yeah and again I think that's what we kind of found with absolutely everything with the wellness industry when we discussed how that takes advantage of you know us. It's like you say society's not going to apologize. Did society do right by us? No is society still doing right by us no if we talk about body image and wellness there's a whole thing recently was it London Fashion week Paris Fashion Week someone's fashion week a few weeks ago and all of the plus size models that we would have seen back in the day have gone you know all of the major high street chains that used to do size 2018 have now stripped them back. Because there's empix yeah yeah well and there's this whole yeah there's this whole thing that's like are we going backwards and all of this stuff at the point like you say it's like well that society gonna do what it's gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

Yeah also I think as well you don't want your body your values or your sex life or anything really to be a trend. Like I don't want to be a trendy thinker like I've had some very unpopular opinions as a gay man and still do.

SPEAKER_07 32:24

Well yeah I mean the whole thing that we were saying about pride.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

About monogamy even like try and try and be monogamous for the last 10 years and now even straight people are doing open relationships at the same level gays used to we did it first and now you guys are all catching on the gays are the original we've been doing like steroids and all sorts gay men have been doing all that crap for years. Now that the straight men are acting like gay men but gays are like works maxed out their box. I mean it is a horrible mix of like masculinity and female levels of body dysmorphia like that's where we're at right it's accepted within that community it's like oh it's just God's fabulous yeah it's just Tony he's gay yeah horses cheekbones and made with his ass yeah where else is he going to sit and I think that's the thing it's like this you know to stick to what I knew was right for me. I mean thank god I got sober the year I get sober because I'd be lost now. I mean I'd be so lost and I see it every time I go back home to the UK like when I'm up in Glasgow I don't recognise the people I used to party with because their faces have all been pumped and blustered and well you know there's this like I anything but looking in inside and anywhere can provide that distraction whether it be you know fashion magazines or you know like it was the body positivity movement now versus the anorexia movement now versus like there's always a community and community can be helpful or an echo chamber and can be harmful. And I think when I got sober I wasn't someone who got sober and kept going to gay cops and pubs. So I think I almost that it gave me this like second awakening where I was like hang on like if I don't want to be there unless I'm high then obviously I don't want to be there.

SPEAKER_07 34:17

I relate to that though a little bit with the hospitality industry in as much as yes there's been a lot of change and again like I've commented before about wanting to know what it must be like to be in our industry now where there is so much conversation we have mental health charities we have big hospitality chefs and stars being thrown under a microscope and shown up for the abusive and exploitative people systems XYZ are but at the same time I'm also a bit like I don't want to hang out with those areas either you know and it's kind of I think again recovery has given us options when it comes to relationships whereas before it were and that one of those options is just with ourselves like that guy sharing that he was feeling serenity this weekend for his first time in that piece like that's all we were really searching for and chasing that whole time the pieces within yeah yeah yeah that's true another t-shirt still another t-shirt still again the pieces within yeah but again these are all big statements you know and I was speaking to a newcomer a couple of days ago who was um one of the again the biggest privileges of getting sober in a community kind of fashion like an AA is that there is that ability to help newcomers all the time and again I said to her I was like no this shit was easy everyone would do it but we don't and putting down the drink is the first thing it's all of the hard work yeah and that's what most of society don't therefore get the chance to do and it's such a privilege to sit here and be like yeah we're people that have made bad choices we've had bad things happen to us we've met in the middle figured out what our part is what isn't our part and found peace like pretty smug about that.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

I think like the I mean being in the fellowship like it is one thing that you can never be kicked out of. You know you read about all these people like people in the body positivity movement like you know when Weser decided she wanted to start oh we all hate Lizzo.

SPEAKER_07 36:26

We hate Lizzo now dare she took care of her health Amy Schumer she's gotten and again been very open with with taking a Mongiano and um and I'm guilty of my first impression my first reaction when I see it I don't go good for her I go how could you how could you yeah how could you say Nadele was with Kelly Osborne Kelly is yeah she looks very blessed. Well you know Spencer Matthews in fairness this Spencer Matthews has come out and said you know because he does all these ultra marathons he's incredibly slim now you know he's basically just a slab of beef fillet with like skin juice and he's criticized constantly for being so slim and like the muscle and all of that and he's like nobody was coming at me when I was an overweight alcoholic about how I look now suddenly everyone's so worried about me because I'm you know but I mean he is extreme he does like daily marathons which is a bit mad absolutely mad addicts a very addict behaviour a classic addict right addicts which you know again I think is fair with the whole kind of Kelly Osborne thing you know it's like oh we're really worried about her it's like well we might so worried about argu her when she was being trolled for her size yeah being told to be thin now she's become the thing that you all you all wanted I did bunny ears by the way listeners now it's the concern so yeah I do really feel for them. Again society is going to society and again we were saying in the car it's your choice to be how visible you want to be in society in that respect. I mean I don't think we've got enough time on this podcast to go down a rabbit hole of celebrity culture and stuff like that. So that's the new podcast well well that's it you can't be famous for that speaking of second seasons should we would we will we we will we will um we will and we will hopefully get some sponsors and stuff like that sponsors quite a nice thing for money uh shell needs some staff yeah well you know we will um I think it'd be really fun to again do some new topics celebrity culture would be a great one since we're both basically are them oh yeah you wait till I come back from the summer trips I know well I can't wait and if there are any topics that people want us to talk about give us well yeah send us a letter. Send us a letter like you would new feature yeah postcards answer sort of postcard so um before we finish up this retrospective I have got a list of iconic lines from the past 12 episodes okay and I want you to figure out tell me who said it and potentially what the context was okay and if you can even what episode okay so first one I collect gaze you know and I just worn out my last one. That was you oh well done I think it was like one of the very early episodes as well wasn't it episode one I don't think I want to know it's a bit like chlamydia is it me it is you any idea what it's in reference of being ADHD oh yeah the chlamydia of there's always some other medical reason why they can't do stuff you call it a diagnosis I call it an excuse that's me that's definitely you that's you doing your like local government running for office this one is obvious because it says girl in it but I still find it's an iconic line you have the girl that remembered to free salmon you can do shit was that me that was me because it said girl if your ability to get up in the morning brush your teeth and look after yourself is dependent on someone or something it's always up for negotiation. Well that's me yeah wanking yeah I love that I love that that's why I included it what an iconic lie I just think it's well one of the things that's been coming through in the podcast is this idea of like I've realized that at the core of everything I do it's up to me.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Yeah like I can't like I still surprised by self by how much I have control over in my life like I can't control bad things happening to me. I can control whether I let them in or not.

SPEAKER_07 40:50

I don't think we realise how much we have control of this well. And again one of the greatest things about my recovery one of the t-shirt slogans in fact is that whole like idea that I wake up in the morning and there's very small that controls me. There's not this whereas before we were controlled by an addictive mind and therefore all of the trappings of you know I'm not even controlled by Milo because he really wants to be left alone for a good six hours in the morning as you've witnessed since being chill he's very chill like he would like unless we mentioned the word brunch this morning and that's why he rallied otherwise he would still be in bed which is where he still is um but yeah I thought that was a very iconic line um I validated myself this morning and everyone else can fuck off that's me definitely that every episode um it didn't give me an episode so yeah probably more than once um we are the ones we were waiting for that's you close it was actually a listener submission from our lovely listener Fran in relation to the other true loved ones yeah and she had a beautiful submission all about us we were the ones that we were waiting for love that iconic line um women weren't allowed pockets because men thought they'd hide escape plans in them that's you that isn't me and I still can't believe it did you google it immediately after that I knew the cause Michelle Wolf had talked about it that's why we get so excited when we put that outfit pockets yeah I can escape there's no pockets on this outfit which is why I'm still here recording the literally didn't know where to put my plans like oh god I gotta stay I was gorgeous as well oh my god I was really beautiful what was it in relation to when I was younger yeah when you were a golfing yeah we still so beautiful well we've still not had any photos yeah we someone told me at a party when I was 15 I had a body a bitch would die for and then she did yeah love um what a fabulous orgy that would have been was that you no really because I talk about orgies all the time fabulous I'd call them violent um it was actually Ben Gibbs imagining the three of us ten years ago in the madness Ben we we're up for it then um smoking was the love of my life and cocaine was the cruel mistress or it would have been Amelia no it was also Ben actually yeah I love how he he Ben has just got a new book out actually by the way everyone listeners I will link it actually by Ben's book he's such a wonderful writer um I really like that um smoking yeah the cocaine was the cruel mistress MDMA was the slotty ball dancer uh the guest can burn there will always be more can you say that no no well one of my friends it was our list Messiah who said she'd rescue the dog not the person I forgot we did a thing you forgot that you just thought it was a joke

SPEAKER_03 44:00

I know, like they can burn.

SPEAKER_07 44:01

They can burn. No, she meant that there's always more.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Yeah, that's true. There's always more house tests.

SPEAKER_07 44:08

This one you're gonna get, but this is such an iconic line. I ate a full burger and chips and then got on stage in a PVC bodysuit and thought, fuck yes, I'm a hot bitch.

SPEAKER_03 44:18

That was Amelia.

SPEAKER_07 44:19

That was Amelia.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

What a line.

SPEAKER_03 44:23

She's amazing. We were so she came to see my gig in Glasgow. And then afterwards we ran to take the train to Edinburgh to go and do a gig rare together. And we were meeting Leo in in uh Edinburgh. So we ran over, we got the train, and then we uh went into MS food, and I just kept pulling snacks out my pockets, like, and she's like, Oh my god, Ian, you're so iconic. We were just eating like what's the name of the little worms you get from uh MS? The little fruity worms.

SPEAKER_07 44:54

Oh, calling the caterpillar.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Oh my god, we're like at Percy Piggin.

SPEAKER_07 44:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

Uh oh, severb slut for Percy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

Love it.

SPEAKER_07 45:04

Um, and actually, this is literally what we've just been discussing. And again, I really love this way that you phrase it. It is you, because I've just told you. Um, I don't like being called names. I didn't sign up for my life to be a roast battle.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Yeah, I hate it.

SPEAKER_07 45:19

Yeah, which I just think again, it's a lovely and really like exactly what we've been thinking about. Like, why should you be the one that's giving you the bad name?

SPEAKER_03 45:26

Yeah, and also because I come from Scotland where people will say things in jest, like, and even that makes me very uncomfortable because I don't talk to my friends like that. Like I don't, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 45:38

No, true.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

Like, because I grew up in a house where we were always like, youppet, or you, you ugly bastard, or you like I don't make I'll make jokes about people that were all part of the joke. Yeah. But like when you're going after someone's person like that, like it's it it says more about you than them, I think.

SPEAKER_07 45:54

Yeah. I mean you have been taking the piss out of my sister and the black pepper all weekend.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

Yeah, but not how she looks. That's true. You'll never you'll never hear me take the piss out of someone's body or their their face or their weight or anything like that. I don't make jokes about people's person. If you tell a funny story like this is a ridiculous story, right? This poor woman was in Argentina having a bowl of pasta and they had no black pepper or salt on the tables.

SPEAKER_07 46:26

Not none in the whole black of Argentina.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

The whole country.

SPEAKER_07 46:32

She'd been there a week and she's not had a speck of pepper in without her wits.

SPEAKER_03 46:36

And she was she was like, what the fuck's gonna break this? Asking why there was so much cruelty in the world. Looking at this pepperless pasta.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

I thought Argentina was developed. And she asked the kitchen and they came out with the chef's pepper.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

She told me that I went, you know, I I thought I had it roughly, but I didn't know you couldn't get pepper in Argentina.

SPEAKER_07 47:03

I know, literally. And the uh the Ernest when she was like, wait a second, because I know we're about to see traumaty, but perhaps you haven't heard.

SPEAKER_03 47:12

Everybody at my lunch table was really emotionally invested in this.

SPEAKER_07 47:16

No black pepper. Well, welcome to the Shires ear. What they didn't have a wheat rose?

SPEAKER_01 47:23

I know.

SPEAKER_07 47:23

There was a wheat ring? And well, yeah, and the chef came out with his own black pepper and like a trickle of blood from the back from the back of his head where he'd been knocked smacked for smacked for being so generous.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

Some rich bitch problems.

SPEAKER_07 47:39

Talking about rich bitch problems, before we finish, I've got another treat which you did actually know about a little bit, but my poor father has been waiting for 48 hours for us to do this part of the show. So that he can have some. But again, as I said, we are looking for sponsors, and so we thought, why not aim high? Um we're going with Marks and Spencer's. So we're gonna do a tea cake taste test, and Marks and Spencer's is gonna be so blown away by your reactions, the tea cake king, yeah, because you are from Scotland and that's the only qualification you therefore will need.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 48:13

Um, I mean, you like do you like to shock your own tea cakes?

SPEAKER_03 48:17

I will usually eat them in whole. I think because it's a taste test, I want to see if it looks like the picture.

SPEAKER_07 48:24

Okay, so we've got Marts and Spencer's, we've got three different flavours. I mean, first off, the packaging. This is a paint, this is a high quality packaging. It feels like the time of your I mean this paper has been pulped.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

It feels like yieldy time.

SPEAKER_07 48:39

It does. It feels like one of those hand-wrapped little gifts from a little independent. Look at this. So the tea cakes are not individually wrapped. How do we feel about that?

SPEAKER_03 48:51

You know, I'm gonna let them away with that because that does feel like a tonics classic.

SPEAKER_07 48:56

Do you find when you eat a pistachio that's been shelled already, they don't taste as good as when you eat a shelled one? So that I feel like, in a way, then not being individually wrapped is gonna affect their flavour.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_07 49:07

So we've got a salted caramel.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

Okay, even to the touch, that's quite glossy.

SPEAKER_07 49:12

It is. Oh, well, hang on, let's see. It's they've got a it's a good sound.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

That's a good sound.

SPEAKER_07 49:18

Oh, the smell. Like chocolate. Are you gonna have it all in one?

SPEAKER_03 49:22

No, because Leo will kill me. I usually do eat them in the wood, and I always say to Leo that in Scotland these are like oysters.

SPEAKER_07 49:31

That's fucking nice. I don't know how this is gonna train and translate to an audio podcast, but that's some good chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 49:42

There's a good one.

SPEAKER_07 49:44

I will say Oh my god. It's sorted caramel, but you know, where's the goo well it would be nice to have a gooey centre of caramel? Like, sorry, MS, was four pounds for tea cakes not enough for a gooey centre.

SPEAKER_02 49:59

That was a fair.

SPEAKER_07 50:00

I don't know if they're four pounds actually, don't quote me. Um speaking of gooey middle, this neck flavour.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

Rhubarb gooey middle.

SPEAKER_07 50:08

This rhubarb gooey middle, and again, not wrapped, so quite good to easily easily have a tea cake. I know because I'm gonna have a coffee with it in a minute. Good sound. Mine's bursting forth.

SPEAKER_03 50:26

A chocolate jammy dog jam.

SPEAKER_05 50:27

You mean a wagon wheel then?

SPEAKER_03 50:29

No.

SPEAKER_05 50:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:31

A wagon dome?

SPEAKER_05 50:32

I've not got much jam. Or I just put marshmallow marshmallow all over my lips. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:41

I look like I've got a hit the moustache out of marshmallow.

SPEAKER_07 50:44

Yeah, I like a milk here on the I didn't get any rhubarb, did you? I just drooled a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 50:50

And these are cappuccino.

SPEAKER_07 50:51

This is the last flavour. So well done for hanging in with her, hanging on there listeners.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

These like Lloyd Grossman labels of culinary uh Oh my god, Lloyd Grossman, is he dead?

SPEAKER_02 51:06

No, he's still a jar of sauce, I think. He's in the jars of sauce. He's also through the keyhole.

SPEAKER_07 51:11

I'm sorry. Oh god, that was such if you think about through the keyhole, what a great show. So our last flavour we've gone for the coffee connoisseur cappuccino.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

Oh, that is a good one.

SPEAKER_07 51:26

That really tastes like coffee.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

Out of all of them, it tastes the weak chemical.

SPEAKER_07 51:30

Yeah, I agree. So, tonics versus these three. What do you wear out?

SPEAKER_05 51:37

Yeah, hands down. I was gonna say, you didn't even have a moment. Not even a not the same.

SPEAKER_07 51:44

Nowhere, not even to a channel.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

If you know, you know.

SPEAKER_07 51:50

Wow. That was a waste of twelve quid then.

SPEAKER_00 51:53

Mark Suspenses, please sponsor us.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

I mean it's a good agenda. Maybe if you sponsored a podcast with a Scotsman in it, then you would have the credibility that these tea cakes need.

SPEAKER_07 52:07

Oh wow, she went there. But I think it's interesting. Do you know they've got like another three flavours of tea cakes? Like it's a tea cake like a thing this year, apparently. It's all very good. It's a TK trend. Tea cakes are trending.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

Oh, tea cakes are trending.

SPEAKER_07 52:19

There we go. Thank you for this scientific experiment. Um, we will stick with you, Tonnets, and we will maybe get in touch with them. Probably should have done that first off. Well, it has been a wonderful 12 weeks of recording.

SPEAKER_01 52:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 52:32

Not so wonderful 12 weeks of editing, but a wonderful 12 weeks of recording. We've had Ben Gibbs on, we've had the lovely Amelia Baylor.

SPEAKER_03 52:40

Yeah, we've had our guests right in.

SPEAKER_07 52:41

Had our wonderful guests write in. We want loads more of that in the second season. We've decided on air that we are doing a second season, so that is now committed to the universe, and we will therefore do it after we've both had a little bit of a break from each other.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

Just from life.

SPEAKER_07 52:55

Just each other.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

Well, we'll still chat. We're still gonna chat. We're just not gonna press records. We're not gonna talk.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Actually, in June, I meant to not be talking to anybody, but that's oh you're gonna have a non-verbal month. Well, I think we always hoping for that. The month that you're at home with. Yeah, like you won't, but I'm gonna be going for the whole month. Honestly, like I'm so is this where you're going tomorrow, then?

SPEAKER_07 53:20

That's it. You're off. Oh, beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

The last show is tonight.

SPEAKER_07 53:24

Oh, I feel quite honoured to be here for your last time.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

This is the end of this leg of the tour until July. Oh when I do a couple of shows in Spain and Dublin, but then I'll tell them and then away. We get a whole month of home in July.

SPEAKER_07 53:37

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

I'm never home that long.

SPEAKER_07 53:38

No, it'll be good. No, we will obviously say much.

SPEAKER_03 53:42

We will say that.

SPEAKER_07 53:43

I'll think of you fondly when I drink from my mug, yeah. Too sober for this.

SPEAKER_03 53:48

Too sober for this. We might do some too sober for this socks.

SPEAKER_07 53:51

We could do. Maybe we will do some merch.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

I'm gonna get some hats and stuff to wear or something like that.

SPEAKER_07 53:57

We can definitely do some merch because this mug made stirred the merch demon within you.

SPEAKER_03 54:02

I know, that's it.

SPEAKER_07 54:03

When you order from VistaPrint, because I ordered some flyers, which is where it gives you ideas and it's like, oh, put it on an umbrella, put it on a skateboard. We're like, yeah, I need that. Yeah, put it on a cuddly toy, all right.

SPEAKER_03 54:15

I ended up with bags, uh, mugs, and then I was like, hats. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:20

And none of it is cheap, but you're there just going like, I know, and yeah, I wanted to get steppers. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, VistaPrint, we're fucking onto you too.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

Yeah, yeah, the gamifier.

SPEAKER_07 54:31

Yeah, you and your little 10% discount off next order. Oh, I'm like, fuck you, Vista Print.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Vista print.

SPEAKER_07 54:38

Andy, we ended on a gay note. Listeners, thank you so much for listening, contributing. Please continue to like, follow, comment, share with your man.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Subscribe.

SPEAKER_07 54:49

Subscribe. What else can you do? You can buy us a coffee.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

Yeah, you buy us a coffee.

SPEAKER_07 54:53

The biggest thing is share it with people that you think would love this podcast. That's really nice. If we share anything on Instagram, please like it, share it, save it, follow it. All of these things are free. But they please Lord algorithm.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 55:07

Ian, it's been wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

It's been lovely.

SPEAKER_07 55:09

I'll speak to you in July.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

I'll speak to you in about four minutes.

SPEAKER_07 55:12

No, we're done. It's the first of June.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

We're gonna ignore we're gonna ignore each other in this house. The next twenty one hours. There's my silent mummy.

SPEAKER_00 55:22

Well, thank you so much. Bye, darlings.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

You should keep this bit in. What just you? You running around.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

You being sassy.