My 5 step guide to confidence

Feeling insecure, look no further. I've got you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hey guys, welcome or welcome back to the Girl Got Girls podcast. I'm your host, Nadia Price, and today we have a topic that probably touches a lot of people's hearts and a lot of people struggle with or can relate to struggling with. And that topic is having insecurities or being insecure in yourself and also constantly caring what other people think. I feel like in high school and middle school specifically, this is when insecurities first get brought up. People are getting more aware of the certain beauty standards or personality standards and just standards in general. Comparison gets more normalized, and social media becomes involved in one's everyday life. Having insecurities can lead to a lot of self-hatred, a lot of self-doubt, not being comfortable in your own skin, your own personality, constantly not thinking you're enough for something, thinking you're undeserving. And overall, it can really weigh you down, and you're never gonna be able to live life to the fullest because you're stuck in this fear, shame, and the weight of not being comfortable in yourself. So in this episode, I'm gonna be talking about the five steps to loving yourself and who you are, no matter what, getting rid of that insecurity and overall not caring what other people think. So, to get right into it, the first step is you have to forgive your past self. What this means is you have to forgive yourself for some of the mistakes you might have made. Forgive yourself for being mean to someone, overall, just the mistakes you've made. And it's really toxic to have these past mistakes lingering through your entire life and your everyday and affect how you move, react, love, and the same with insults. It is really bad to keep insults stuck in your head more than compliments. You will see if if you think about your everyday, and let's say you get a compliment on whatever, you're like, Oh, thank you, and then you're thinking about it, you're like, She doesn't actually mean it, she's just saying it because she wants to be nice. That is so bad to when you get an insult on anything, your automatic reaction is, Oh my gosh, that is so true. I need to fix that about myself, I need to alter myself to fit into this certain standard, which should not be how it is. I think that having that automatic response to compliments, that is, you can't take a compliment, and you always have this inside feeling that they're making fun of you or not having that trust in yourself, it's some the main reason why a lot of people are insecure. So instead of focusing on the insults and having the insults linger through your entire life, have those compliments linger. Have focus on the compliments, really dive into the compliments. Like they said they like my hair. Oh my gosh, yeah, I did put I put a lot of work in my hair, and I feel like it looks really good. But don't drive your life and your confidence on compliments because that will not last and that will not be fruitful. Another way to forgive yourself is honestly, this is gonna be the religious side of it. Talk to Jesus, like He did the ultimate forgiveness, wiped away our sins, did the ultimate act of love by going on that cross, and I feel like talking to him through prayer, reading his word, it really helps me forgive myself and not have guilt in myself for the past because I know I'm ultimately forgiven. Moving on to step two, accept who you are and acknowledge who you are, and I feel like that is way easier said than done. And this step is gonna take a lot of time. I'm talking probably years to know who you are, but you can do a surface level evaluation as a first step on who you are and your personality, your weaknesses, your strengths, just an overall self-evaluation. And when you come to a conclusion of kind of the surface level of who you are, and you learn to accept that honestly, nothing and nobody can really take that away from you because deep down you know who you are, and that is so so powerful. So, yeah, just figure out strength, weaknesses what do I like, what do I not like, you know, my personality. Number three, embrace your wins no matter what. Embrace these smallest wins, like getting out of bed, waking up on time, making your bed, um, making yourself food, going to the gym, like all those little wins deserve to be celebrated. Everything deserves to be celebrated, and when you celebrate everything, no matter what, your life is gonna get so much more joyful, fruitful. You're going to just be a happy, jolly person wherever you go. You're not gonna doubt yourself, and also live in that moment of your win without having that being your entire life. So let's say you won your soccer game, okay? You're really happy that you won the soccer game, but then your coach is like, You guys shouldn't be celebrating, you still have to win nationals, whatever. It is okay to have that day or week where you are celebrating that win, but ultimately, yes, you do need to look at the next, but it's so healthy to be able to learn how to win. And what goes along with that is don't compare to someone else's wins because we are all wired so differently. I've talked about this a little before. We act so different, we have different strengths and weaknesses and drives and goals, and we also have more things going on outside that are deeper and not as surface level. So you could look at someone and be like, Oh my gosh, their life is so amazing, they're doing all these things, winning all these awards, but then at the end of the day, that is not the case whatsoever. They're actually struggling so much, have some inner demons they need to fight, and yeah, so never judge a book by its cover. And number four, use the three months to one year rule. This rule is basically let's say you embarrass yourself, okay. You have to think, will this matter in three months? Will people still remember in three months? Or will people still remember in one year? And will it matter in one year? And that goes with failing a test or a quiz. Will this matter in three months? Will this matter in one year? Will this matter in ten years? The answer is no, you're probably gonna forget about it. Will this game matter in three months? One year you get you understand, you kinda have to put these little losses and embarrassing things or low points in your life and put it into perspective and be like, how big will this actually affect my life? Is it a valid crash out? Is it not valid? Cause if it's not, if I'm not gonna remember or it's not gonna affect my life in three months or one year, I should not be worrying about it now, and I should gen genuinely let it go because it is taking up too much of my time when I could be doing other things. Number five, gen this is the most overused statement I think ever, but it actually is so true. Fake it till you make it, okay? Fake being confident no matter what, keep that head high, even if it is so painful to be confident and fake confident confidence, and it's so draining. If you keep faking it, it is overall going to become who you are, okay. So, no matter what, don't really care what the world thinks of you, let that roll off your back, and remember you are in control of yourself and nobody else. That is so frustrating. But you can't control what happens to you, but you can control what you do next, which is also cliche. But yeah, fake it to your makeup is probably one of my best pieces of advice. Cause if you keep that head high, like I said, walk with some confidence, be like, Oh, yeah, I don't really care what she said about me, even if you do care about what she said about you. Then I don't know, it's just gonna turn into who you are. It's like you're speaking into existence. Lastly, to stop caring what others think, think about it like this everyone is so busy in their own insecurities, they're not focused on yours, and if they are, then that automatically shows their character, who they are, their priorities, and that's not good, that's not doesn't show good. So if you're one of the people that make other people feel bad about themselves, really reflect on what that says about your character because it says something about their character more than it does yours. So remember that, okay. That is probably one of the best pieces of advice or perspective changes I've ever gotten. I mean, I think that developing and changing and evolving is all about your perspective change, so yeah, it shows their character more than yours because you are amazing, and always remember you are born with inherent value due to be being created in God's own image and likeness. Remember that you have that inherent value, that inherent worth. You are worth something right when you're born. Okay, so do not let anyone make you feel less than that, make you feel like you deserve less than that, give you treatment that makes it seem like you're not worth something because you are worth a lot. Okay, thank you guys so so much for listening. This was a shorter episode, um, but I really feel like the topic is super fruitful. So I really hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any questions about it or if you have anything you want to ask me about getting over insecurity and caring what people think. It takes time. Remember that, so do not try and rush it because you just can't rush the process, okay? But yeah, thank you guys so much for listening again. Remember to always leave a review and share this podcast with everyone and anyone you know, and also remember to download each episode so you never miss one, and you can always listen to it no matter where you are. And follow me on Instagram, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Music, because that is where I put all my content. And yeah, thank you so so so much for listening to this week's episode. And yeah, I hope you guys have an amazing week, weekend, and I will see you guys in the next one. Stay confident, stay amazing, and stay you