Ep3: Make The First Move

In Episode 3 we talk about what makes community singing more than a weekly rehearsal and how choirs become places of real support and belonging. We share practical ways to build connections within your choir, collaborate with other groups, and learn from other directors without letting imposter syndrome run the show. 
• seeing choir community grow and show up in real life support during hard times 
• building networks through festivals, exchanges, workshops and joint performances 
• making the first move to connect with other choirs and directors 
• balancing confidence with curiosity when learning from other musicians 

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Transcript

Welcome And The Togetherness Goal

Speaker 0:13

Welcome back to Midlife Choirsis, community singing in all its glory. I'm Kerrie Polkinghorne and it's great to have you with me today. We're going to be talking today a bit about connecting with others, building community in our choirs, so building togetherness, building support, building a sense of team and going together in everything that we do. This, of course, is a huge priority for choir directors, especially in community choirs. It's like one of the number one reasons we exist. And I want to talk a little bit about that today as a choir director or as a singer in a choir, things that we can do to feel like we are together. When I first formed Vocalize Choir, which is the community choir I direct in Adelaide, South Australia, the things I was thinking about at the time were the logistics of getting a rehearsal venue, getting a piano player, getting sheet music, and all those sorts of things, getting someone to do receipts or welcoming people, or those sorts of logistics to make it happen.

When Community Forms By Itself

Speaker 1:16

And that's absolutely needed, and we managed to do that. But the things I didn't really think much about was the community that would actually start to form as soon as people started coming together, rehearsing together, seeing each other every week, or performing together, or doing trips together where funny things happen, or we have to get through a really weird performance, and all those sorts of things that bring people together. I wasn't thinking about those things. But now, having done this for a little while now, some of those stories of community have been really humbling and really wonderful. And when you create community, there is something about it that is really out of your hands. It's owned by the people and it evolves into wonderful things. So for Vocalize, we've had lots of stories of people who have gotten together and formed their own little friendships and communities, and it's been really great. Our tenor section gets together fairly regularly, as does our autos and sopranos. Pretty much all of our groups get together separately in small groups and goes out for brunch or has drinks together and hopefully rehearses at some point, but who knows? And they do things together that I'm not a part of. It's something that they do, and it's really amazing. And I love hearing stories of friendships blossoming and things that groups have done together that have been outside my jurisdiction and outside of the you know official hours of choir-ness. A couple years ago I heard that one of our singers who uh was battling cancer, she was needing to go into the hospital for treatment, and instead of taking her partner, she decided to take a friend from choir as her support person. And that was just such a beautiful thought to me. Like that that someone she had met during choir and made friendships with had grown to be so strong that that this person was the one she chose to take to her treatment. There's

Collaborations That Grow Your Choir

Speaker 3:13

some great things that come out of community, not only in the choir, but when we do things with other communities. So that's something for me as a director that I've been really wanting to forge over the years is networks, connections, and friendships with other choirs and other like-minded singers and communities. I remember going down to Tasmania, which is even more south than south of Australia. Every year there's the Festival of Voices in July. And I remember a few years ago, probably five years ago at least, I went to that festival with a small group of our choir. And at one of the nights where it's called the Singer's Lounge, we did a performance, and I remember saying on the microphone, and I felt like it was speed dating a little bit, but I said on the microphone, hi, I'm Kerrie from South Australia, and this is Vocalize Choir, and we would love to get to know any choirs who might be interested in doing something together. If you're interested in doing an exchange, like perhaps coming to South Australia, or we come here and we do something with you, please let me know. You know, we love long walks along the beach.. and mostly singing. And anyway, out of that came a little relationship with another choir, and that was the start of something. So we did something with a choir called Nelson Sound, and they came over to South Australia. We did a workshop together, and we performed in Adelaide just next to Adelaide Oval, and it was really great. It was fantastic to get to know some different people. We've also done some stuff with other choirs like Soul Song, which is another choir network, which I also direct a choir in. We did a a whole show, a new show together. Their director, Jacqueline Larsen and myself, we wrote a new show called Bangers and Mashups, which was an absolute hit. And singers in her choir from all over Australia came down to South Australia and we did a show together for the Adelaide Fringe. And it went so well that we took it onto Brisbane and Cairns, and we did it the following year in Adelaide Fringe. And Soul Song also took it overseas as well to the UK and to New Zealand. So the show's gone really, really well, and we're still doing it. So that's from just you know, maybe three years ago starting that thing rolling, and it's just continuing to roll, which is really, really cool. Such a great experience doing things with other choirs. It's really awesome. Another choir, La La Land in South Australia, we've done a fundraiser concert together where we learnt a piece in Ukrainian, and that was really, really special, and it was a fundraiser for Ukraine. And we've just come off of a camp with another choir from regional South Australia called TLC, Terribly Loud Choir. I just love that name so much. Run by Ang Sharp. There was about a hundred singers in the room. We did some workshops together, learning a range of different repertoire, and then we performed down at the farmers market on the Saturday and just brought so much life and joy and fun to that market. We had a great weekend. We're all extremely tired now, but we just had such a good

Make The First Move With Others

Speaker 6:11

time. So if you're a director, what opportunities are there out there to do things with other people? You could do a performance together, you could do a workshop, you could swap directors. Your director goes to them and their director comes to you for a night. That's something different. There's lots of opportunities to do things. It's just a matter of sort of making the first move. Be bold to make the first move.

Finding Director Community Beyond Online

Speaker 6:33

It's actually really important as a director to seek your own community as well. Now I know in the World Wide Web there are lots of different communities. So pages for choir directors, there's a thousand of them. And there's even choir podcasts, like if you really want to do that sort of thing. Uh, you can listen to podcasts and feel connected to other people. Who would do that? I have no idea. But there are things out there, but you know, that's not great really for community, not real community. You can sort of learn from other people for sure, but you're not really connecting to them. They don't know who you are, and it's not really a reciprocal relationship. So I really encourage you if you are a director and you do resonate with this feeling of being isolated, because in my first episode we talked about sometimes directors do feel this sense of isolation. If you are feeling that, then go and find your community. Go and find your nerdy folks who will be able to swap stories and have a laugh about the typical choir things that happen and lend some ideas and some techniques and some warmups and get the ideas flowing. Find an opportunity to connect with people, catch up for coffee, ring them up. You know that thing that we used to do? We ring people. Go and observe what they do, just for fun. I remember going to see Christie Anderson, who's the MD of Young Adelaide Voices, and I sat in and watched Christie at work directing a rehearsal of Aurora, which is their senior ensemble, and I just scribbled down all the funny things she said, all the great things she said, all the interesting little intricacies of how she directed, and just took it all in. And I was able to really grow from that opportunity. The South Australian Choral Network run a brunch down here in South Australia for directors of any choir to come together and to share a little bit about their story, a little bit about their choir, and just to get to know each other. So that's something I really prioritize because we don't get time otherwise. We we are too busy rushing off to doing whatever we're doing that we forget that we're actually part of a bigger community of very much like-minded folk doing very much the same stuff, but all with different skills and abilities and things. So find an excuse, get out there and make it happen, I guess is what really encouraging you to do. There is

Imposter Syndrome And Learning Anyway

Speaker 8:50

this other side of connecting with directors that I want to address, and that is the imposter syndrome side of things. It's always going to be the case when you work with somebody else that they're gonna have different skills and different things that they bring to the table. Not better, not worse, maybe they are better, but there's always gonna be a difference between you and another director, and that's perfectly good and it's perfectly fine. But how do we as humans balance this sense of comfort in our own skin and the things that we bring and the things that we've learnt and our particular interests and particular bents on things? How do we balance that sense of I'm okay within myself with a sense of curiosity to keep learning and growing from other people? It's such a hard line, and it's not just something as directors, it's something as musicians, as choir singers. How do I come to choir feeling okay and I can do this, but also seeing if I can learn from someone else without sort of feeling diminished within myself, actually using it to grow and learn and become a bigger person in that sense. That's a really hard balance to maintain. And I don't have all the answers, but I do know that the more we actually get to know people and their stories and why they do what they do, that actually gives us a really rounded sense of the things that they bring to the table. Rather than just, oh, this person's so great at directing, I could never be like that, or going really insular and thinking, wow, I really don't think I have anything to give. Look at how this person does it, and it diminishing everything that you do. But I really want to encourage you choir directors out there, to go there anyway - do things with other directors, learn from each other, get to know each other, ask for tips, write down some cool fun things that they do without it diminishing what you do. Put it in your little backpack to add on to the techniques and the tricks that work because no one has a monopoly on every single type of choir, every single style, every single approach to every type of music. We are all bringing things to the table and we can all learn from each other. So sometimes I observe directors who have an amazing sense of humour. Angela Sharp, who I worked with in the Terribly Loud Choir, she has a hilarious approach to what she does. She has a sense of fun and playfulness with her singers, and they just love her so much. She has an incredible sense of musicianship underneath everything. But how she brings it is through humour and through play. And so when we had our workshop last weekend, I was writing notes, maybe physically and also mental notes, of wow, this worked so well, or that's a different way of approaching it, I should try that. And it doesn't diminish my sense of who I am, it actually adds to who I am, and then I can take a little bit of Ang Sharp in my bag, and a little bit of Carol Young in my bag, a little bit of Jonathan Bligh in my bag, and all of a sudden my bag's got lots of people in it, and I'm better off for it, and my choir is better off for it. That's the whole point. You know, I'm not the director I was 10 years ago. Thank God, because I was okay for what I was at the time, but I've improved now, and in 10 years' time from now, I hope that I will be better and improved than I am now. Because I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm increasing my capacity, I have more tips and tricks. I've done a few things and I've seen a few things and I've learned a few things. And therefore, I'm going to have a richer palette of techniques and approaches to my choirs of all kinds. So it's a fine line for sure. But I encourage you if you're a choir director or even if you're a singer, what can you learn from others that doesn't diminish who you are? What can you learn from others that encourages you in who you are? And what can you give to other people that encourages them in who they are? And collectively we are richer as a result. I want

Choir As A Social Contract

Speaker 12:48

to share a quote from a guy called Chris Maunu, who is an American choir director and composer. He has shared lots of things online, but there was one particular video that I really enjoyed and what he said about it. So it was a video of a lot of students singing together, it must have been a collaborative performance. And he writes, "Sometimes I think choir is one of the few places where people are still learning how to exist together. Hundreds of young people from different backgrounds standing in a circle, navigating complexity in real time, listening across the ensemble, adjusting, leading, and supporting. Holding on to their own musical line while remaining deeply connected to the people around them." I love that line, I'm gonna repeat it. "Holding on to their own musical line while remaining deeply connected to the people around them." Chris also writes in another post about togetherness. He says, "We often describe choir in technical terms, tone, intonation, phrasing, and rhythm. But underneath those outcomes is something more fundamental. Choir is a social contract. Each singer commits to a collective musical meaning. Effective choral singing is not just about accuracy, but continuous adjusting to others and recalibrating in real time." I love that. And that really aligns with what I'm saying. This continuous adjusting to others and recalibrating in real time. Yes, we do that as a choir in real time. We have to adjust to the sound that we're making. But I'm kind of talking about community. We are continually adjusting to others, inviting others in, learning from others, and recalibrating in real time. So how can I learn? How can I grow? How can I be a bigger person because of the things that I've learned from other people? So I really encourage you, whether you're a singer, whether you're a choir curious person, whether you're a director, to go together. Find your people and make community happen. Find opportunities to do stuff together, to work together, to bring each other's ideas to the table, find opportunities and reach out to other groups to make that happen. I'm

Sing Along Lean On Me

Speaker 15:07

going to finish off today with our sing along segment. I know you're excited for this. It is, of course, the wonderful 'Lean on Me' by Bill Withers. I know you know it, and I encourage you to sing along. Like I've said before, if you want to sing a harmony, you do that. Like I'm not going to stand in your way. Or you might want to do the bass one, or you might want to just like solo over the top. It's totally up to you, it's your song. So I'm just going to sing along the first verse and chorus. And I feel like these words just perfectly summarize the episode today, talking about togetherness and learning and growing together. So here we go. Some times in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow. But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow. Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on for it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on. Lean on me, (Everybody!) when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on for it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on. You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand, we all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'd understand. We all need somebody to lean on. Lean on me, (Hey) when you're not strong and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on for it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on. Woo! Okay, I did a little bit more than a verse in chorus. I got carried away. What can I say? But what a top song, hey! Thank you so much for singing with me. You were like so good, by the way. Like you should totally think about joining a choir or something. I think that's might be on the cards for you.

Share Subscribe And Farewell

Speaker 17:50

If you've enjoyed the episode today, please share it. You can subscribe to the show on your preferred podcast app, or you can share the episode on social media, or you can go Super Midlife Choirsis and share the link via email. Thank you so much for being with me today. I've had a great time chatting to you. And I hope you have a wonderful week. We'll see you soon.