Episode 5: Being Present

In a world filled with pressure, uncertainty, and constant forward thinking, many professionals find themselves stuck between two places, regretting the past or worrying about the future. But what if the real advantage comes from focusing on what’s right in front of you?

In this episode of Mitchell’s Moments Coaching Podcast, executive coach Mitchell Schuckman explores the power of being present and how it directly impacts confidence, performance, and long term success.

Drawing on coaching conversations with two professionals at critical points in their careers, Mitchell contrasts two very different mindsets. One is driven by pressure, overwork, and fear of the future. The other is grounded in self awareness, curiosity, and confidence that success will come through growth and authenticity. Through these examples, he shows how shifting your focus away from outcomes and toward who you are becoming can completely change how you experience your career.

At its core, this episode is about trusting yourself, staying grounded in the present, and building confidence that your future will work out, regardless of the path it takes. 

This episode explores:

• Why focusing on the present reduces stress and improves clarity
• How overthinking the future creates unnecessary pressure
• The difference between outcome driven and growth driven mindsets
• How curiosity and self awareness lead to stronger relationships and results
• Why confidence comes from trusting yourself, not controlling outcomes

Mitchell’s Moments delivers short, focused conversations designed to provide practical leadership insights you can apply immediately.

Learn more about Mitchell Schuckman and The Schuckman Group at
www.theschuckmangroup.com

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Each episode delivers short, practical insights on leadership, coaching, business development, and navigating today’s changing business world.

You can also learn more about Mitchell Schuckman and his coaching and leadership programs at
www.theschuckmangroup.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Mitchell's Moments Coaching Podcast. If you've listened to prior episodes of my podcast, you'll know that Mitchell's Moments Coaching Podcast is meant to be 20 minutes or less each episode. It's meant to give you some food for thought for the day, something you can listen to quickly and carry on with some good, positive, and interesting things to think about. Today's episode is about the concept of being present and having confidence that your future will work out no matter what happens, as long as you believe it. Let me tell you how I came upon this subject. First of all, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Mitchell Shuckman. I am a certified executive coach. I have almost 40 years of experience in corporate America, where we focus where I focused in professional services, serving large global multinational clients, operating within a large, complex global corporate setting, and specializing in business development and selling and building stronger relationships. So a broad background that I bring to coaching. And when I said at some point during my coaching survey, now I'm not a Buddhist by training or background, but there are certain things that Buddhist principles speak about that really resonate with me. So one of those principles in Buddhism is it's a human quality to suffer. Suffering is universal, it's a human trait. And suffering generally comes from not living and breathing and feeling your present self. A lot of people dwell on the past. I should have, I would have, I could have. A lot of people dwell on the future. If I get this specific thing, I will really be happy. That is not the key to confidence. It's not the key to success. Buddhism would say you can certainly look back to learn from the past. You can certainly look forward to set goals. But living in the present is a game changer, and it's especially true in business. So I'm going to tell you two stories. One is a shorter story, one's a little bit longer, but they make this point. Both of the people I'm going to talk about are people who are at a pivotal point in their professional careers. Both of them are being considered to become a partner in the large global accounting firm. One of them is based in Europe, one of them is based in the US. The locations don't actually matter. The principles are exactly the same. So I'm going to talk about the first one first. His name is James, and James is up for partner in the US. And I met with James and he looked ragged. And I have to tell you, I know James. He's generally a very put-together guy, very confident, and he looked ragged. And he said to me, Mitchell, first of all, I'm in this partner program and I'm really stressed. The firm is asking me to take on more clients. They're asking me to take on more responsibilities. They're asking me to improve my executive presence in conference rooms and in meetings. And oh, by the way, I have a new baby at home. And my wife has got a lot on her plate. She's got a real um important and demanding job as well. Her maternity leave is finishing up. She's going to go back to work. She's got, we, you know, with our new baby's going to go into childcare. There's a lot going on. I'm really stressed. And I said, okay, tell me what's the one thing that is triggering most of your stress. And he said, I can't say no to anyone in anything if I want to make partner. In fact, I find I need to work harder than ever in order to please the people who are going to be determining my future. And it was, it's really a sad state. It was talk about suffering. He was so focused on making partner that he thought that he had to work even more to reach his goal. And I'm not going to get into the details, but the focus of our coaching together was to realize that more wasn't actually better. In fact, more was wearing him down. And where he really needed to get to was a place where good enough was enough. And whether or not he made partner would be okay. Now, to be honest, I'm still coaching James. He's not there yet. But you can understand the pressure he's under because he's feeling like hey, my whole career up until now, I think it's been about 12 years since he started his career out of university. His whole career was predicated on I do more work, I do good work, I get raises, bonuses, and promotions. Making partner isn't really about that. Making partner is a lot more subjective. There's a lot more circumstances and business issues and individual opinions that weigh into the partner admissions process. So focusing on I do, if I do more, I make partner was a very narrow view of his current and his future. I need to do more now because I need to make partner then. So James is in a tough spot, by the way. His name isn't really James, and I'm not calling him out. Um, I'm sure there are a lot of people listening to this podcast who will recognize James in them, whether they're up for partner, they're a new partner, or they're someone who's looking to get promoted sometime in the next few years. Okay, so now let me talk to about someone else. Her name is Margaret. Actually, her name isn't really Margaret, and the real person knows who she is. Um, I will not disclose that, but she knows. Anyway, another person who I'm hoping more and more people will be able to see themselves as. So Margaret. I was introduced to Margaret, she's based in Europe. I was introduced to Margaret, oh, I'm gonna say it was probably eight months ago now. And Margaret was being put up for partner in her region of the world. And what her feedback was, what they told Margaret was, you're a really great technical person. You really know your stuff, but you're not gonna make partner unless you learn how to sell more work and bring in more clients. Be a bit more of a rainmaker. And when I met Margaret, her attitude was, I am not going to be that. I did not become a mergers and acquisition specialist to become a salesperson. Not my thing. I'm not interested in it. I'm interested in solving complex problems and helping clients succeed in the transactions that they're trying to accomplish. And I said, Margaret, tell me a little bit about sales. Tell me what about being a salesperson is distasteful to you. And she immediately started talking about salespeople in the very, very traditional sense. People, you know, whether it was a car salesperson in a showroom, or whether it was someone who worked in a retail store or someone who might be doing, you know, cold calling. Um, and I said, Margaret, in professional services, I don't view that as selling. I view selling in professional services as being really good at making friends. Whether those friends are your clients or those friends are people you'd like to have as your clients. Making friends is selling. And we talked about this for months. We talked about scenarios where she had a client she wanted to get more work from. She talked about a client where she knew the person because she went to university with the person, but the person had another firm that they worked with for her for um mergers and acquisitions. They did not work with Margaret's firm. So Margaret was saying um that she knew people and she wanted to get more work or new work from them. And we talked about the concept of making friends. And over the course of months, what we came to realize together that she didn't need to sell anything, she needed to understand the people that she wanted to get more work from better, understand what they needed as individuals to succeed, what was in their plans for the year, how would they earn a good evaluation, a raise, a bonus? Once Margaret started being curious, once Margaret started taking her client and her potential clients' goals and desires in as her own, and once she started speaking to them about ways that she could work with them to help them achieve their goals, it didn't become selling at all. The phone started ringing. She started getting phone calls, she started getting, you know, kind of small little projects to test her out, and she, of course, delivered because she's exceptionally good. And she continued to be curious about the other person, and they became close to her. They considered her their friend, and frankly, she considered them friends too. And those relationships grew and work started to coming in. Now, this is still early days, it's been nine months, eight or nine months, since the first conversation I had with Margaret. But she starts, she's starting to get some work, see some success, and realizing that selling is about making friends, making people realize that you see them, you understand them, and you're there to make them heroes, make them successful. So, how does that get back to this Buddhist principle? This is the trigger for this entire episode. I was having a coaching session with Margaret. Now we're now we're just talking about a month ago. And Margaret said to me, you know, whether or not I make partner through this partner admissions process doesn't actually matter. I know that I can get a job at another firm. I could probably make partner at another firm. Um, if it's not partner, maybe I go work at a client, and maybe there'll be partners and firms asking me how they can make me successful. I can do a whole bunch of things. This partner process I'm in, sure, it's important, but the results are almost irrelevant. And I was like, wow, you have completely changed over the past, I think at the time it was seven or eight months. What happened? And she said to me two magic lines. It was all, these two magic lines happened in the course of maybe one paragraph. She said, I now have confidence in my future, no matter what my future is. And she said, I feel more aligned with who I really am. And those two sentences really set me back. We had a big celebration on the phone. I said, I am so happy that you're feeling that way. And frankly, the fact that you feel that way is probably going to lead to a successful result in the partner process you're in. But even if it doesn't, you and I now both know it doesn't matter. And after that conversation, I went for a what I like to do a lot, where I do my best thinking is I go on long walks with my dogs. Excuse me. And I started thinking about Margaret, and I started thinking about those Buddhist principles that I mentioned at the start of this podcast. And Margaret was comfortable in her skin, being herself, in this moment. Everything in her past was the basis and foundation on which she learned. There were experiences she drew on, but they didn't, she never had regrets. She didn't have any more regrets, concerns, or um second-guessing of her past. And her future, really, her goals were quite broad. Instead of being like, I need to make partner in this firm in this amount of time, her lens widened, and she started saying to herself, I need to grow as a professional. I'm learning how to relate to clients better. I'm learning how to listen and be curious better. I'm learning how to make them successful and make them feel seen and heard. And I'm a skilled professional, I know my business. And from those things, I will grow. And from those things, I will write my future. And from those things, I will be successful no matter what happens. So that's today's message. That that first client, James, I hope he gets here because he's still of the mindset, I have to do more, I have to do more. In the past, the more I did, the better the result. So I'm gonna do more. And oh, by the way, if I don't make partner in this firm, I don't know what I'm gonna do. We're moving, we're moving him in a better into a better place. Margaret found that better place. And I I decided to do this podcast episode because this is very common. A lot of people are under a lot of stress today more than ever. The future is uncertain. There's so much going on in the world, there's so much going on in business that it's easy to get stressed out about the future. But I think the Buddhists, I think Margaret, I'm hoping James, I hope I have it right. If you stay present and you stay focused on making yourself the best version of yourself and being a good human being and understanding other people well, you will be okay, as Margaret said, no matter what her future holds. So that's the entire episode. As I promised you, under 20 minutes. A useful food for thought, I hope. And um I look forward to seeing you next time, Mitchell's Moments Coaching Podcast. You can find me on all social media, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, you can listen to the podcast on Spotify. You can find my website at theshuckmangroup.com, and you can always reach out to me. I'm very accessible. If you go on the shuckmangroup.com or you email me directly at Mitchell, Mitchell at the shuckmangroup.com. I will return your email, and I would love to continue conversations like the ones I'm having with James and Margaret. So that's it for today. Thank you for joining and have a great day.