WEBVTT 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:06.559 Hey, I'm Pastor Steve Hole. 00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:11.119 I want to empower you today to walk in your true identity as a worshiper and warrior. 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:14.400 Embrace the power of God's Word and the Holy Spirit. 00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:17.920 Today be encouraged with a word from my guest speaker. 00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.280 Welcome to the Born for War podcast. 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:37.439 So it dawned on me there are three situations in life that require witnesses: crimes, accidents, and marriages. 00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:51.280 Marriage is the only relationship where one person is usually always right and the other person is the husband. 00:00:54.719 --> 00:01:02.560 I wanted to open today with some brevity as we concluded last week's message in 1 Peter 2. 00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:06.799 And we were talking about Pastor Joey and kind of coming out of that. 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:19.840 And it's about suffering, but I think really as we look at Peter's principles for prevailing over problems, it's almost like Peter picked a pack of pick a pack of pick a never mind. 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:21.120 I'm not even going to try that. 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:32.000 But I think what he's saying is he's giving us context and how we can bring the kingdom of God and his design and bring harmony into difficult relationships and different structures. 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:38.319 And we're moving into chapter three today in 1 Peter, and we're continuing the study. 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:44.239 Peter has been giving insight into how we live in harmony, these aspects as it relates to the kingdom of God. 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:48.879 We've studied relationships between the master and the servant and government. 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:57.120 And now we're beginning chapter three and making a transition to walking out how we can bring harmony into our marriages. 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:07.439 Let's just set this thing up to say that God invented marriage, not man. 00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:10.960 He's the kingdom architect, he designed it. 00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:13.120 Marriage is a kingdom design. 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:16.319 It was his idea, and he's the architect behind it. 00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:22.000 God fills the Bible with analogies and illustrations of marriage and his kingdom. 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:30.639 Therefore, we are to understand that there are direct correlations that exist between God, the dominion of his kingdom, and our marriage. 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:40.560 God lays out the best operating manual for us to take into our marriages, outlining the call we each carry as husband and wife. 00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:43.759 And let's just be clear on this. 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:51.520 These are big orders, they are tall orders, they are deep orders, but above all that, they are divine orders. 00:02:51.680 --> 00:03:07.599 They are divine mandates from the kingdom of God that when we operate within that context, we can experience harmony and the glory of God and connection to his kingdom where we are empowered to bring light into a broken world. 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:23.199 We bring light into our families, into relationships, and it and when we can operate in that structure as God's design, there's no better paradigm and correlation to the kingdom of God and his desire and love for his church. 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:56.800 But I think as we dig through the scripture, I know that there's a good amount of single people in the room too, and so I think there's something here for all of us as we break it down and we look at it as what is our posture, what is our heart, as we bring both man and woman into alignment and look at the kingdom of God and where we are submitting to his will, bringing him glory, and when we are falling out of alignment with that submission. 00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:02.319 I've opened a lot of marriages with this quote from Martin Luther. 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:07.759 I love it, I try to live it, and we model it in our home as much as we can. 00:04:07.919 --> 00:04:17.279 And Martin Luther says this let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let the husband make his bride sorry to see him leave. 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:29.680 I think if we were to just focus on that today in our own hearts and our own responsibilities on both sides of the marriage, that would be enough homework for the week. 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:37.839 But I'm going to open and I'm going to read the full context of the passage as we begin here, and then we'll jump back in and start to break it down. 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:40.000 First Peter 3. 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:55.279 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if someone do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 00:04:56.399 --> 00:05:02.959 Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. 00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:12.800 Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:29.199 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:42.560 Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:48.000 Good time to pause, pray, and don't execute the messenger. 00:05:50.319 --> 00:06:01.360 Heavenly Father, we thank you, Father, for just your design, your model, your scripture, and how we, as your creation, God, are to walk this out in faith. 00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:16.959 I pray that you would bless the hearing and reading of your word today, Lord, where we have been bound up, where we feel enslaved or entangled by cultural narratives, where the enemy has come in, Father God, to disrupt your scripture, your holy design for us. 00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:26.639 We just pray right now, Father, that you would come and do what you do best through the work of the empty tomb and the precious work of the cross to set captives free, to free minds and hearts today. 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:29.600 We give you all the praise and all the glory, Jesus, in your name. 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:30.399 Amen. 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:35.279 Peter opens with a word to the wives, and we're gonna do it. 00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:38.000 We're gonna talk about the S word today. 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:54.160 But let me say this before we start with that, here's what I think that we should do, and I would like to, as much as possible, in our text, because I think submission has had a bad narrative, a bad cultural thing. 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:57.120 Um, it's it's connected to oppression and those things. 00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:20.319 But I would like to replace it where we can in the scriptures with the word support, because I think that as Peter and as we're gonna talk about these things, how we support each other in our marriages, how we come into alignment with God's kingdom, and then how we become submitted and aligned to God in this and the texts that we're gonna dig, I would like to just uh replace that word today with submission. 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:25.279 But I do want to say six behaviors that submission is not. 00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:47.839 And let's be clear on this because I think, let's be honest, if we could just for a minute, take a deep breath, exhale, and say that the mandate given here from Peter, and we're also revisit where Paul aligns it in Colossians as well as Ephesians 5, is this order, this divine order from the kingdom of God that is not culturally popular. 00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:58.959 We have two broken paradigms happening right now on the landscape out there that we're confronted with on social media and the news, etc., and we're just confronted with it. 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:01.600 And in our spirits, we get challenged. 00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:10.800 And so, on one end, we have the broken filter of kind of this new reinvention, this new revision of this new age of a feminist movement. 00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:20.800 On the other side, we have this toxic masculinity, and really what's happened is the culture is perverting God's design and his kingdom that he's built in all of us. 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:33.759 And so, where we're participating in those narratives today, we're gonna ask for God to come bring light, bring healing, and bring us a healthy perspective over his mantle that he's given both man and woman, husband and wife. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:37.360 Six behaviors that submission is not. 00:08:37.519 --> 00:08:41.039 Submission is not having no opinion of your own. 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:46.000 Submission is not having no voice in decision making of the home. 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:50.480 Submission is not pressure to always agree with your husband. 00:08:50.720 --> 00:09:01.200 Let me just pause here and say, that's imperative, that's critical, because I can't tell you where there's been times where I've needed Mandy's disagreement in my life. 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:06.559 I didn't know it at the time, to be honest, probably it was frustrating when she brought it. 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:09.039 And I was like, that might not be welcome right now. 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.320 But then stepping away with the Holy Spirit, he's like, you need to listen to her. 00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:13.679 And I'm like, I need to listen to her. 00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:16.240 She's bringing wisdom, she's bringing counsel. 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:19.919 And this has not come overnight for me. 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:30.240 And as a young husband, I showed up in our marriage oftentimes, like the stoic masculine version of a Midwestern house where this is what we do. 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.519 Don't ask questions about why we do it because we're not really sure either. 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:35.279 But you're gonna follow us anyways. 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:37.200 Okay, that sounds good. 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:43.519 So, stepping into this, pressure, do not feel the pressure to agree with your husband all the time. 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:45.440 We need your disagreement at times. 00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:50.080 Under the guidance and uh grace of the Holy Spirit, bring it to us. 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:54.879 Uh, submission is not walking in fear of disagreeing with your husband. 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:59.679 Submission is not acquiescing to sinful choices knowingly made by the husband. 00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:04.639 If you, you women need a voice, we encourage you to have a voice. 00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:12.720 Men, we need the counsel of our wives, sometimes to call us out of sinful nature and into alignment to lead well. 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:18.960 Because when we are operating out of that alignment, that actually causes fear in their world. 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:26.080 We bring them fear to their world when they see us not modeling godly Christian behavior as sons of God. 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:33.679 Number six, submission is not allowing abusive behavior, and this is critical, whether physical, spiritual, or verbal. 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:35.360 This is not to be tolerated. 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:38.960 It is not kingdom, and it is not how we are to be operating. 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:41.600 I would say that the church is getting it wrong as well. 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:43.200 I can't blame culture here. 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:52.720 The church has been a broken model where we talk to the demeanor, countenance, and what the behavior of a bride and wife and woman should be. 00:10:52.960 --> 00:11:07.679 Rather, calling out in men, what does godly behavior, leadership, giving mission that you can follow to your bride, to your wife, letting them come alongside and get excited about the adventure that God's put in your heart. 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:10.399 You can't do that if you're living out of alignment. 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:18.799 So we dig in here, we're going to flip to Ephesians 5 and see what Paul has to say about this, 5, 21 through 24. 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:34.240 Submitting to one another in the fear of God, wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:42.240 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:46.879 So Jesus right here is now giving the model, right? 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:51.039 He's giving the model, there's a structure, there's an order to his design. 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:53.279 Has it been abused? 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:56.399 Has it been grossly misinterpreted at times? 00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:57.360 Absolutely. 00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:15.759 Do we break it and walk it out in our own humanity where in our own understanding we're not in alignment and we're getting it wrong and we're causing harm, we're causing wounding, we're causing pain, let alone the owner our own filters that we bring from our childhood, the way we saw mom and dad do it. 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.799 Those are all things that are happening simultaneously. 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:24.799 And I dare say that the church has not probably been as healthy as it could in some of these areas. 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:34.159 Now I'm not gonna just, you know, cast a dark shadow over all of it and throw the baby out with the bathwater, but I will say that at the road, we value building godly men. 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:58.720 We have a Tuesday morning breakfast where we meet at ungodly hours to do godly work and serve high octane breakfast because we figure that we want to build and we have a passion to build into men the ability to lead under the discernment and hearing God's voice, to lead their families well, to lead your brides well, to lead in your communities well. 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:01.039 It's a high value for the road. 00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:03.440 So here's what I want to dig into a little bit here. 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:05.039 Oh, and let me just say this. 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:22.720 Based on the way that Paul lines this out, as Christ being the head of the church just as man is the head of his home, I will say that a healthy, a healthy percentage, if you're looking at this from a corporate structure, in our marriage today, I can confidently say that it's a 49-51. 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:24.480 I have 51%. 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:26.240 I don't abuse that 1%. 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:41.440 Uh, and and Mandy comes alongside and gives a lot of excellent counsel, wisdom, and guidance in the things that we're facing in bringing up our family in today's culture, um, the work that we're doing with the church and marriages. 00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:44.720 And so, um, but we are aligned in scripture that way. 00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:59.039 I would say that there's it's been out of balance at times, maybe where I've tried to assume or assess more uh, you know, of the voting rights and try to do a coup of the operating system where it's been more of a maybe 75-25 or even a 40-60. 00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:10.879 And in your own marriages, you know, it could be that reversed, where maybe the wife or the bride in this case has the larger voting responsibility, and that's just not the kingdom of God here. 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:19.120 So let's let's look at what this can look like when we bring it back into alignment and heal that look or heal that um perspective. 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:29.279 Submission in the Greek is the word hopitaso and means to place underneath, to be subject, to obey. 00:14:29.519 --> 00:14:38.240 If you break it down, mission being the core word, sub being the predecessor, sub to a mission, to come under the mission of leadership. 00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:49.120 If your marriage feels like it's in chaos, you have to look to the head first and see where the man has not supplied a kingdom of God aligned mission to his bride. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:55.440 If he's operating in his own capacity, he's out of alignment and there can't be sub to the mission. 00:14:55.679 --> 00:14:57.279 I love how George, Dr. 00:14:57.360 --> 00:15:09.440 George Knight III, who was a theologian, professor, and dean of New Testament studies at Covenant Seminary for 19 years, this is how he explains the meaning of hopitasso. 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:18.399 The meaning of hopitasso, used consistently in charge to wives, is the same as its meaning in Ephesians 5.21. 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:23.759 That is, submission in the sense of voluntarily yielding in love. 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:28.320 This definition of submission, in my opinion, is so powerful. 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:34.480 It reframes and heals some of the broken context of what culture has placed on this word. 00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:41.120 It captures more accurately the heart of the author and God's heart, I believe, voluntarily yielding in love. 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:47.519 It is as much an attitude as it is an action, and it involves both parties. 00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:54.879 It's extremely important to note that from our text that verse 21 precedes verse 22. 00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:58.559 Submitting to one another in the fear of God. 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.840 Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:10.320 The man, gentlemen, has a responsibility to yield in love to the wife just as the woman yields to her husband. 00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:19.840 It's interesting that the mutual submission of the man and woman is dependent on a mutual submission as to the Lord. 00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:29.279 If we are both not mutually submitting to God the Father, then whatever happens in the four walls of your home is going to be broken on the onset. 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:34.480 We both have a mandate to seek God's kingdom first. 00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:38.480 And when we do that, all these things are added unto. 00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:49.360 And I'll tell you what, all these things, the first thing that needs to be added unto when I seek God's kingdom first is my relationship second only to Jesus in my marriage with Mandy. 00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:51.200 From there, things can flow. 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:59.120 Power can connect, and we can be in alignment with God's kingdom as a mighty force, as God intended for man and wife to interact. 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:04.799 Ultimately, the writer is telling us that we can't submit to one another without first submitting to Jesus. 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:09.039 So let's dig into the first six verses. 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:17.680 And by the way, chewing on this this week, it was not lost on me that Peter gives the wives six verses and the man one. 00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.160 What does that come to mean to me? 00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:24.319 He knew that you were going to need some extra encouragement in dealing with us. 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:27.039 So you get some extra context. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:43.119 Wives likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, by fear of the Lord. 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.440 The fear of the Lord is what's leading you here. 00:17:45.599 --> 00:18:08.960 And I will say that there are there are matriarchs in my immediate purview, there are matriarchs in my in our in our life, in Mandy and I's relationships and our family where we have seen this modeled and walked out, where by the woman walking out, the call and the mandate that 1 Peter is describing, that Peter's describing here, has brought alignment back to the husband. 00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:25.200 In one case, uh there was a husband who was not a believer, worked a lot of his years in the law enforcement uh system, came to know Christ through her gentle faithfulness, her consistency, and chasing God's kingdom. 00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:30.319 He left law enforcement and then served the last part of his career as a minister. 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:34.400 It so captured him and motivated him that it turned him in that direction. 00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:43.279 And I could go on and on about other models that we've witnessed in our lives that have been so precious, uh, none less than my own wife's in my own life. 00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:51.759 And so I'm just so thankful for just her godliness, and that's been so intact in the way that she's walked that out and God's calling on her life. 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:56.960 And she has sought God's kingdom first and foremost throughout our entire marriage. 00:18:57.119 --> 00:19:04.720 And it's been her compass, it's been her model, and it's been inspirational, and it's brought me from places of darkness to light and healing as well. 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:12.400 So, men, I will say your wives desire and want to do good work because God placed that in them. 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:13.920 It's part of their DNA. 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:18.880 Wives, men, God has placed in your men somewhere in there. 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.480 I promise it's in there. 00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:31.920 A desire to want to show up healthy, strong, as a spiritual leader to give you safety and security in the ways that your heart deeply desires and needs that. 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.799 Now we get it wrong on both sides of the fence, right? 00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:38.240 Nobody's perfect here, so our humanity gets in the way oftentimes. 00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.079 And so we have to be kind and give grace where grace is due. 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:48.720 Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. 00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:57.759 Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart within the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:10.079 Not only is it precious in the sight of God, but when we as men stop and we ponder this for a minute, and there's a saying in my house that my wife does with our children and our girls, and I love it, it's modest is hottest. 00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:25.440 And we live in a sex and lust-infused culture on both sides of the fence, where men are not taking care to protect and garner themselves and protect their sexuality as well as women, and it's just infused in our culture. 00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:27.599 But we have a bigger mandate. 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:29.920 And so, what's being modeled at home? 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:31.680 What are we putting on our social media? 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:35.440 Mom and dad, are you monitoring what's happening with your children's social media? 00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:37.759 Are you watching and giving good counsel? 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:39.839 Being a guardian to protect their hearts. 00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:43.839 When I was in the youth group, I'm a recovering youth pastor now, praise God for Joey. 00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:53.680 I'll just say that we we have, I you I would say, be careful, students, don't go out and like the licentious, lustful things in our culture. 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.559 Be careful not to like that because that encourages negative behavior. 00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:57.839 And we got to change the culture. 00:20:57.920 --> 00:20:59.279 Let's shift the culture. 00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:02.160 And so we have we have a mandate here. 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:06.000 And so I just want to encourage all of us in this way. 00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:22.960 And and I'm where I'm in a Bible study with some young men, and these young men, when they're sitting down and they're being honest with their hearts, they're saying, Yeah, I want I want a woman who is protecting her beauty, who's keeping her beauty sacred, because I value that. 00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:27.759 And for the ones that aren't, some of the conversation of some of these guys has been like, I want to go help them. 00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:33.759 I want to protect them because of what the world is wanting to put on them as far as an image or an idea. 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:43.839 And it's I'm very encouraged by this group of guys and how they're running after God and trying to put things in their heart to protect and preserve the integrity and the sexuality of women. 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.200 So God bless you guys. 00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:46.480 I know some of you were in here. 00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:53.920 For this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:54.880 Pause. 00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:59.759 Scripture calls you as brides and wives to support your own. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:00.720 Husbands. 00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:04.480 He does not call you to support all the husbands in the world. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:08.720 You have one person, one guy in your life that you are to support. 00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:16.319 And so if you're out of alignment there, God, I pray Holy Spirit just ministers there because I would say that that's that would that be overwhelming. 00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.119 I mean, not that one isn't enough to deal with, anyways, right? 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.759 So he's given you a big enough task there. 00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:28.720 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughter you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:37.119 I think at the end of this, where terror can come into a woman's life is where she feels unstable and insecure. 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:46.799 And we as husbands and men can let them down and bring unnecessary terror into their lives where they don't feel secure in our leadership, in our mission. 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:52.319 God's design in creation was to create support for Adam by bringing Eve into the picture. 00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.880 Eve is God's final piece of creation. 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:58.880 It's the last thing person he makes in creation. 00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:01.680 It's his crowning jewel over all of it. 00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:09.920 I dare say that we have not done at times, men, good job taking care of God's crowning jewel in creation and our lives. 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:14.160 He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and finds favor with God. 00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:19.279 If you're married today, you found a good thing and you've found favor with God. 00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:23.519 The scripture defines Eve's role as a helpmeet or helpmate. 00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:32.000 And it talks, there's a lot of studies done about what that looks like, the mandate that's been placed, and I think even some broken context around that. 00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:44.640 But to heal that a little bit and maybe give a different narrative or a different perspective over this word, I want to talk about this as it relates to another translation is to give military aid or support. 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:54.559 There's a kingdom DNA that's been written in women's hearts and their ability to have strength and endure. 00:23:54.799 --> 00:24:00.960 A critical component of the war we fight, as we understand God's mission for humanity, as sons and daughters. 00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:03.599 As the sons were called to the battlefront. 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:09.200 And I get this image, and it's depicted a little bit in the series for a Band of Brothers. 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:19.200 And the men are on the front line, the aid station only a few miles behind enemy lines, and men are getting wounded and they're coming back to the aid station. 00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:26.960 They're needing triage, they're needing care, vital care, and they're needing restoration to get back into the battle. 00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:32.960 Now keep in mind this aid station is still close to bombings, bullets, and they are not out of harm's way. 00:24:33.119 --> 00:25:00.240 Our wives are not out of harm's way, but when we work together in alignment and we step into the beauty of the creation of God's design here, we men, when we get battled and bruised in the war that we face daily, we can retreat back into the strength, care, and design that God has given our brides to restore, prepare, and repair us to go back boldly with confidence back to the front lines and do the work God has for us as men. 00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:07.440 Mandy's care on care and triage for me in hard things in my life, bringing wisdom and discernment. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:09.759 And her discernment is like a sixth sense man. 00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:10.400 I'll tell you what. 00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:17.119 She can read the room, she can read the situation, and I'll come, and she is my chief battle counsel and aid these days. 00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:20.400 And I so heavily rely on her counsel. 00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:32.160 Together we find clarity, pray about things, we discover truth, we invite God's light into a situation together, coming into alignment, praying together in unity, and we discover a path forward. 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:35.759 This is available to all of us. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:38.400 Proverbs 12:4. 00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:44.960 A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:54.079 Paul writes in Colossians 3.18, wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. 00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:04.640 Now let's, in the context of unity and postmodern post-Christian culture, we get into the home roles and all that. 00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:08.400 Let's also discover what Paul's written in Galatians chapter 3 here. 00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:11.119 Chapter 3, 26 through 28. 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:16.559 For all of you are sons of God through the faith in Jesus Christ. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:25.519 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free. 00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:30.960 There is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:40.240 So culture has increasingly defined roles in the home as either superior or inferior, and not for all bad reasons. 00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:48.559 And I'm not negating the fact that there are certainly men who have abused their role and women who have been deeply hurt by an unhealthy masculinity. 00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:51.599 This passage is not speaking of equality. 00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:55.680 The equality of the man and woman is a given. 00:26:56.079 --> 00:27:01.759 We are all created by God's design for a purpose as children of God that are equal in the eyes of God. 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:07.440 Paul has given clarity to our status before God in a clear letter to the Galatians. 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:12.079 The Bible is crystal clear that we are all created equal in God's eyes. 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.559 Our gender is a gift from God. 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:15.759 Amen? 00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:17.119 Amen. 00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:22.240 Given sovereignly by God and has no bearing on our worth before Him. 00:27:22.559 --> 00:27:31.279 When we place our faith in Christ as our Savior and Lord, we are all, male and female, baptized into Christ with the same spiritual status. 00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:37.839 Regardless of our sex, we as fellow followers of Jesus are all one in Jesus Christ. 00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:47.599 Now, in case you were feeling left out, we talked to the women, men, Paul has a few, or Peter has a few things for us to uh unpack here and discover. 00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:56.720 We're gonna jump into verse 7 of our primary text, and there's a mission here for us, we can't pass this over. 00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:08.480 Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:13.839 I want to connect this directly right now to Colossians 3.19. 00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:27.119 Because just as in Colossians 3.18, where he's talking to the wives about your support to the husbands, Paul now writes, Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. 00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:34.160 Never and always can be, you've heard me say this in the past, they can be kind of derogatory words in our own home. 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:36.160 We try not to use never and always. 00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:42.640 But I will say in this context, and I support this, Paul says with a heavy mandate, never treat them harshly. 00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.400 I've not been perfect in this. 00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:48.480 I know that I've treated my bride harshly, and I've fallen out of God's alignment in that. 00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:52.720 Women's strength as it relates to weakness above. 00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:55.200 This is an interesting conversation we've had this week. 00:28:55.279 --> 00:29:08.720 My wife and I were unpacking these and we were talking about the scriptures, and I was asking her opinions, and she was sharing with me, and she just was very honest, and she's like, you know, I don't really like that Peter is saying that I'm the weaker vessel here. 00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:18.319 And I said, You have absolutely every right to feel that way as a woman who has out of three out of our four births of children given natural births. 00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:24.160 And I said, Nobody's gonna discount your ability to endure, withstand, excruciating pain. 00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:34.559 Uh, we were going through one of the classes with one of our children, and they were like, okay, context for the husbands about pain and the waves that come in with uh with the birth. 00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:36.079 Help me out here. 00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:37.440 Contractions. 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.240 That's that's where I'm at with the with the topic, right? 00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:45.519 I'm actually I'm better than that, but I do say, she's like, here, stick your hand in a bucket of ice water, see how long you can hold it there. 00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:47.599 I'm like, okay, I got this. 00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:51.440 I've ran through the desert, done these things, fell on cactus. 00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:52.319 I can endure this. 00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:54.000 Stuck my hand in the ice water. 00:29:54.160 --> 00:30:01.599 It's uncomfortable, it's uncomfortable, fire, pain, millions of needles starting to stick me in the hand, and I just start to like wince, and I kind of start to faint. 00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:03.680 I'm like, I gotta pull this out, I gotta pull this out. 00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:04.960 It's more than I can endure. 00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:06.079 Pull it out. 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:08.799 And the instructor was like, okay, all right. 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:10.799 Some of you lasted longer than others. 00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:19.839 No judgment here, but just so you know, like multiply that pain times a hundred, and you might be somewhat close to the fire that happens in childbirth. 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:24.480 And I'm going, You are a Jedi of pain. 00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:26.319 You can endure pain. 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:33.039 And so what Peter's saying here is that there is a physical strength that men have here. 00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:54.079 And we need to, men, we have a beauty and an opportunity to show up with that strength in a gentle and loving way, but firm, that gives security and gives confidence in our wives that my man is strong, and he will bring protection and provision, not abuse and domination with that strength. 00:30:54.160 --> 00:31:03.680 But he's going to use that strength in a holy, honorable way to preserve and protect and preserve our home and our marriage and bring me safety and confidence. 00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:04.880 Thank you. 00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:05.759 Praise God. 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:06.640 He gets it. 00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:08.400 My single man in the front. 00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:12.240 God's bringing you a beautiful blessing and a vessel and a bride, brother. 00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:13.200 She's on her way. 00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:15.599 Believing with you, praying with you in that. 00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:19.359 So, in that same motive, my wife, and it's an honor. 00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:21.039 She'll bring me the pickle jar or whatever jar. 00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:22.000 She's like, Can you open this? 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:23.039 I'm like, Absolutely. 00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:23.920 As you wish, right? 00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:27.759 I like to quote Wesley from uh Princess Bride, as you wish. 00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:30.400 She's like, Oh, it's so easy. 00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:32.319 I said, It's a joy and an honor. 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.759 Here you go. 00:31:34.079 --> 00:31:35.359 As you wish. 00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:36.640 As you wish. 00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:39.440 So it's fun. 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:39.920 We have fun. 00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:42.880 You can have fun with it, and it's great, and it should be that way. 00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:44.720 And it's what we're called to give. 00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:47.680 Women have an unrivaled strength too. 00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:48.640 Do not miss this. 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:50.000 We have great context. 00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:53.200 Women of the scriptures show up strong. 00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:54.079 Right? 00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:56.559 Barack comes, King Barack comes to Deborah. 00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:57.359 I need your help. 00:31:57.440 --> 00:31:58.640 She's like, Really, bro? 00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:01.200 I'll help you, but you're going to forgo the glory. 00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:02.160 He's like, but I need your. 00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:03.680 She's like, I think you can do it on your own. 00:32:03.839 --> 00:32:04.720 No, I need your help. 00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:06.480 She's like, okay, I'll do this. 00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:09.279 I'll help you, but I'm, you know, the glory is not going to be yours. 00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:13.279 And behind that scene, Deborah goes on and secures the victory for that dude. 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:24.000 And, you know, but in the ranks, in the ranks of like the sergeant under Deborah, we find Jael hidden beautifully in the passages and the scriptures of chapter 4 and Judges. 00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:31.200 And Jael pins the general's head to the ground with a tent peg, pretty much securing the victory for Israel over the Canaanites. 00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:33.759 And you're like, my wife goes, that's my favorite story. 00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:34.319 I said, It is? 00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:35.519 She goes, it's my favorite story. 00:32:35.599 --> 00:32:37.519 I start sleeping with one eye open. 00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:42.000 I put all the camping gear in the shed. 00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:43.119 It's good. 00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:44.000 Praise God. 00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:44.640 Strength. 00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:45.920 Don't abuse it, men. 00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:48.160 You could find yourself pinned to a floor. 00:32:48.799 --> 00:32:51.759 If they need it, they can use it, and it's in them to do it. 00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:54.799 So praise God for the strength that men that God gave them. 00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:58.720 Here's what I want us to capture, and this is so critical for us. 00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.599 Our prayers need to rise to the Father's ear, men. 00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:08.720 We cannot afford for our prayers to be hindered due to the lack of care and love we need to give to our brides. 00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:15.359 In this day and age, for our culture, for our homes, for our families, we need to not have our prayers hindered. 00:33:15.440 --> 00:33:18.240 And James 5, 16 says this. 00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:23.200 The second half of the scripture, the first part's talking about confessing your sins. 00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.480 It's a beautiful place to do that inside of your marriage as well. 00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.880 Bring it to one another that you may be healed. 00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:35.519 But the second part of it, the earnest prayer of a righteous man, has great power and produces wonderful results. 00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:43.440 You're limiting your power and your ability to produce results when you are living out of alignment with God and you are not a righteous man. 00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:45.359 What does a righteous man look like? 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:49.759 And more importantly, how do we live righteously before the Lord and our brides? 00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:56.559 And James, in chapter three, in verses 17 and 18, gives context to how we achieve this. 00:33:56.799 --> 00:34:07.279 We need wisdom from God to fill us and lead us in the path of righteousness as a husband, carrying out the mission and mandate from Jesus to love our brides as he loves his church. 00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:08.559 The answer comes here. 00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:09.840 James 3. 00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:12.960 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. 00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:14.320 Men we need to be pure. 00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:16.320 It is also peace loving and gentle. 00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:20.559 Men we need to be peace loving and gentle with our brides at all times. 00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:26.960 And willing to yield to others, and willing to yield in love to her wisdom and discernment. 00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:28.480 It is full of mercy. 00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:32.480 We need to be merciful and not harsh, and the fruit of good deeds. 00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:35.360 It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:42.079 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. 00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:53.599 When you operate in alignment with that context and that scripture, if you went home today, men and studied James 3 and committed to living that out in your marriage, you will have a path and a harvest of righteousness. 00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:54.880 Your prayers will be heard. 00:34:55.039 --> 00:34:56.480 Your wife will come under alignment. 00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:58.719 You will have a mission that she can follow. 00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:06.079 There's a correlation between Peter and Paul and the fearing of God in both of their texts. 00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:11.840 In 1 Peter 3:2b and Ephesians 5 21, just follow me on this. 00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:14.960 Submission has an important correlation to fearing the Lord. 00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:17.519 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. 00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:19.760 We hear this in Proverbs and the Psalms. 00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:28.400 Job 28, 28 says, Behold the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil, that is understanding. 00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:31.440 Wisdom wants to crank up the fear factor. 00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:36.480 One of the wisest things you could ever do is fuel the fear of the Lord in your life, men. 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:41.039 Fear equals wisdom, wisdom equals submission unto God. 00:35:41.280 --> 00:35:49.440 This greatly enhances our ability to bring our will and spirit into perfect alignment with God's kingdom and be submitted unto Him. 00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:57.440 Submission is a spiritual revolution that can only happen within our hearts when we surrender our desires and our passions to the Lord. 00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:01.599 The power of submission is the power of surrendering to Jesus. 00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:09.440 Every man and every woman who desires a kingdom of God marriage, led and empowered by Jesus, must learn the spirit of submission. 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:12.400 Jesus Himself is our greatest example. 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:18.000 His attitude of submission to his heavenly Father is our model in our marriage relationship. 00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:21.360 We are exhorted to have the same submitted attitude. 00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:27.920 Jesus yielded in love, obeyed, and served God the Father, even to the point of death on the cross. 00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:32.159 I say submission is the DNA of the kingdom of God. 00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:38.559 The triune God of the universe is mutual submission to the roles given by God the Father. 00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:47.920 The Son submits to the Father, the Spirit submits to the Son, and we are called to submit to God mutually in our roles as husband and wife. 00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:50.239 Men, you must have a mission. 00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:56.239 Women, God has called you to yield in love to your man and the mission God has given him. 00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:03.760 Quickly, there are six disciplines of kingdom, support, or submission that we are both to walk out. 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:08.159 I think this is God's design for us and the mandate that we both carry. 00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:11.440 Both husband and wife yielding in love to Jesus first. 00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:13.440 Seek the kingdom of God first. 00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:17.840 If you're seeking God's kingdom, all these things shall be ended unto you. 00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:23.199 Number two, both husband and wife loving each other with the power of the Holy Spirit. 00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:29.760 And when you need to, with the sermon and wisdom, recalibrating your hearts at the cross when needed. 00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:31.679 Each of you is called to do that. 00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:38.400 And I can tell you that there are times throughout the week and daily where I know that I am now operating in my own understanding. 00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:40.880 I don't have God's peace and I don't have God's love. 00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:43.039 And I'm starting to experience chaos. 00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:45.039 First in my life, then with my marriage. 00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:46.639 I'm like, okay, I need to recalibrate. 00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:49.840 I need to tap out and say, God, recalibrate me. 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.079 I come full submission and obedience unto you. 00:37:52.159 --> 00:37:53.199 Where am I out of alignment? 00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:57.119 Where am I out of submission to you and your kingdom and your call in my life? 00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:02.239 Together, husband and wife seeking God for the mission of their marriage. 00:38:02.639 --> 00:38:08.239 God speaking to the man for the family's mission, engaging his bride for feedback. 00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:13.039 It's critical that if God has given you a download, bring it back to her and say, where do we need to strengthen? 00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:14.159