SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm Pastor Steve Hole.
SPEAKER_01: I want to empower you today to walk in your true identity as a worshiper and warrior.
SPEAKER_01: Embrace the power of God's Word and the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Today be encouraged with a word from my guest speaker.
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Born for War podcast.
SPEAKER_02: So it dawned on me there are three situations in life that require witnesses: crimes, accidents, and marriages.
SPEAKER_02: Marriage is the only relationship where one person is usually always right and the other person is the husband.
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to open today with some brevity as we concluded last week's message in 1 Peter 2.
SPEAKER_02: And we were talking about Pastor Joey and kind of coming out of that.
SPEAKER_02: And it's about suffering, but I think really as we look at Peter's principles for prevailing over problems, it's almost like Peter picked a pack of pick a pack of pick a never mind.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not even going to try that.
SPEAKER_02: But I think what he's saying is he's giving us context and how we can bring the kingdom of God and his design and bring harmony into difficult relationships and different structures.
SPEAKER_02: And we're moving into chapter three today in 1 Peter, and we're continuing the study.
SPEAKER_02: Peter has been giving insight into how we live in harmony, these aspects as it relates to the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_02: We've studied relationships between the master and the servant and government.
SPEAKER_02: And now we're beginning chapter three and making a transition to walking out how we can bring harmony into our marriages.
SPEAKER_02: Let's just set this thing up to say that God invented marriage, not man.
SPEAKER_02: He's the kingdom architect, he designed it.
SPEAKER_02: Marriage is a kingdom design.
SPEAKER_02: It was his idea, and he's the architect behind it.
SPEAKER_02: God fills the Bible with analogies and illustrations of marriage and his kingdom.
SPEAKER_02: Therefore, we are to understand that there are direct correlations that exist between God, the dominion of his kingdom, and our marriage.
SPEAKER_02: God lays out the best operating manual for us to take into our marriages, outlining the call we each carry as husband and wife.
SPEAKER_02: And let's just be clear on this.
SPEAKER_02: These are big orders, they are tall orders, they are deep orders, but above all that, they are divine orders.
SPEAKER_02: They are divine mandates from the kingdom of God that when we operate within that context, we can experience harmony and the glory of God and connection to his kingdom where we are empowered to bring light into a broken world.
SPEAKER_02: We bring light into our families, into relationships, and it and when we can operate in that structure as God's design, there's no better paradigm and correlation to the kingdom of God and his desire and love for his church.
SPEAKER_02: But I think as we dig through the scripture, I know that there's a good amount of single people in the room too, and so I think there's something here for all of us as we break it down and we look at it as what is our posture, what is our heart, as we bring both man and woman into alignment and look at the kingdom of God and where we are submitting to his will, bringing him glory, and when we are falling out of alignment with that submission.
SPEAKER_02: I've opened a lot of marriages with this quote from Martin Luther.
SPEAKER_02: I love it, I try to live it, and we model it in our home as much as we can.
SPEAKER_02: And Martin Luther says this let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let the husband make his bride sorry to see him leave.
SPEAKER_02: I think if we were to just focus on that today in our own hearts and our own responsibilities on both sides of the marriage, that would be enough homework for the week.
SPEAKER_02: But I'm going to open and I'm going to read the full context of the passage as we begin here, and then we'll jump back in and start to break it down.
SPEAKER_02: First Peter 3.
SPEAKER_02: Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if someone do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
SPEAKER_02: Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel.
SPEAKER_02: Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
SPEAKER_02: For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
SPEAKER_02: Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
SPEAKER_02: Good time to pause, pray, and don't execute the messenger.
SPEAKER_02: Heavenly Father, we thank you, Father, for just your design, your model, your scripture, and how we, as your creation, God, are to walk this out in faith.
SPEAKER_02: I pray that you would bless the hearing and reading of your word today, Lord, where we have been bound up, where we feel enslaved or entangled by cultural narratives, where the enemy has come in, Father God, to disrupt your scripture, your holy design for us.
SPEAKER_02: We just pray right now, Father, that you would come and do what you do best through the work of the empty tomb and the precious work of the cross to set captives free, to free minds and hearts today.
SPEAKER_02: We give you all the praise and all the glory, Jesus, in your name.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Peter opens with a word to the wives, and we're gonna do it.
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna talk about the S word today.
SPEAKER_02: But let me say this before we start with that, here's what I think that we should do, and I would like to, as much as possible, in our text, because I think submission has had a bad narrative, a bad cultural thing.
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's it's connected to oppression and those things.
SPEAKER_02: But I would like to replace it where we can in the scriptures with the word support, because I think that as Peter and as we're gonna talk about these things, how we support each other in our marriages, how we come into alignment with God's kingdom, and then how we become submitted and aligned to God in this and the texts that we're gonna dig, I would like to just uh replace that word today with submission.
SPEAKER_02: But I do want to say six behaviors that submission is not.
SPEAKER_02: And let's be clear on this because I think, let's be honest, if we could just for a minute, take a deep breath, exhale, and say that the mandate given here from Peter, and we're also revisit where Paul aligns it in Colossians as well as Ephesians 5, is this order, this divine order from the kingdom of God that is not culturally popular.
SPEAKER_02: We have two broken paradigms happening right now on the landscape out there that we're confronted with on social media and the news, etc., and we're just confronted with it.
SPEAKER_02: And in our spirits, we get challenged.
SPEAKER_02: And so, on one end, we have the broken filter of kind of this new reinvention, this new revision of this new age of a feminist movement.
SPEAKER_02: On the other side, we have this toxic masculinity, and really what's happened is the culture is perverting God's design and his kingdom that he's built in all of us.
SPEAKER_02: And so, where we're participating in those narratives today, we're gonna ask for God to come bring light, bring healing, and bring us a healthy perspective over his mantle that he's given both man and woman, husband and wife.
SPEAKER_02: Six behaviors that submission is not.
SPEAKER_02: Submission is not having no opinion of your own.
SPEAKER_02: Submission is not having no voice in decision making of the home.
SPEAKER_02: Submission is not pressure to always agree with your husband.
SPEAKER_02: Let me just pause here and say, that's imperative, that's critical, because I can't tell you where there's been times where I've needed Mandy's disagreement in my life.
SPEAKER_02: I didn't know it at the time, to be honest, probably it was frustrating when she brought it.
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, that might not be welcome right now.
SPEAKER_02: But then stepping away with the Holy Spirit, he's like, you need to listen to her.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I need to listen to her.
SPEAKER_02: She's bringing wisdom, she's bringing counsel.
SPEAKER_02: And this has not come overnight for me.
SPEAKER_02: And as a young husband, I showed up in our marriage oftentimes, like the stoic masculine version of a Midwestern house where this is what we do.
SPEAKER_02: Don't ask questions about why we do it because we're not really sure either.
SPEAKER_02: But you're gonna follow us anyways.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that sounds good.
SPEAKER_02: So, stepping into this, pressure, do not feel the pressure to agree with your husband all the time.
SPEAKER_02: We need your disagreement at times.
SPEAKER_02: Under the guidance and uh grace of the Holy Spirit, bring it to us.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, submission is not walking in fear of disagreeing with your husband.
SPEAKER_02: Submission is not acquiescing to sinful choices knowingly made by the husband.
SPEAKER_02: If you, you women need a voice, we encourage you to have a voice.
SPEAKER_02: Men, we need the counsel of our wives, sometimes to call us out of sinful nature and into alignment to lead well.
SPEAKER_02: Because when we are operating out of that alignment, that actually causes fear in their world.
SPEAKER_02: We bring them fear to their world when they see us not modeling godly Christian behavior as sons of God.
SPEAKER_02: Number six, submission is not allowing abusive behavior, and this is critical, whether physical, spiritual, or verbal.
SPEAKER_02: This is not to be tolerated.
SPEAKER_02: It is not kingdom, and it is not how we are to be operating.
SPEAKER_02: I would say that the church is getting it wrong as well.
SPEAKER_02: I can't blame culture here.
SPEAKER_02: The church has been a broken model where we talk to the demeanor, countenance, and what the behavior of a bride and wife and woman should be.
SPEAKER_02: Rather, calling out in men, what does godly behavior, leadership, giving mission that you can follow to your bride, to your wife, letting them come alongside and get excited about the adventure that God's put in your heart.
SPEAKER_02: You can't do that if you're living out of alignment.
SPEAKER_02: So we dig in here, we're going to flip to Ephesians 5 and see what Paul has to say about this, 5, 21 through 24.
SPEAKER_02: Submitting to one another in the fear of God, wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.
SPEAKER_02: Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
SPEAKER_02: So Jesus right here is now giving the model, right?
SPEAKER_02: He's giving the model, there's a structure, there's an order to his design.
SPEAKER_02: Has it been abused?
SPEAKER_02: Has it been grossly misinterpreted at times?
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02: Do we break it and walk it out in our own humanity where in our own understanding we're not in alignment and we're getting it wrong and we're causing harm, we're causing wounding, we're causing pain, let alone the owner our own filters that we bring from our childhood, the way we saw mom and dad do it.
SPEAKER_02: Those are all things that are happening simultaneously.
SPEAKER_02: And I dare say that the church has not probably been as healthy as it could in some of these areas.
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm not gonna just, you know, cast a dark shadow over all of it and throw the baby out with the bathwater, but I will say that at the road, we value building godly men.
SPEAKER_02: We have a Tuesday morning breakfast where we meet at ungodly hours to do godly work and serve high octane breakfast because we figure that we want to build and we have a passion to build into men the ability to lead under the discernment and hearing God's voice, to lead their families well, to lead your brides well, to lead in your communities well.
SPEAKER_02: It's a high value for the road.
SPEAKER_02: So here's what I want to dig into a little bit here.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and let me just say this.
SPEAKER_02: Based on the way that Paul lines this out, as Christ being the head of the church just as man is the head of his home, I will say that a healthy, a healthy percentage, if you're looking at this from a corporate structure, in our marriage today, I can confidently say that it's a 49-51.
SPEAKER_02: I have 51%.
SPEAKER_02: I don't abuse that 1%.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and and Mandy comes alongside and gives a lot of excellent counsel, wisdom, and guidance in the things that we're facing in bringing up our family in today's culture, um, the work that we're doing with the church and marriages.
SPEAKER_02: And so, um, but we are aligned in scripture that way.
SPEAKER_02: I would say that there's it's been out of balance at times, maybe where I've tried to assume or assess more uh, you know, of the voting rights and try to do a coup of the operating system where it's been more of a maybe 75-25 or even a 40-60.
SPEAKER_02: And in your own marriages, you know, it could be that reversed, where maybe the wife or the bride in this case has the larger voting responsibility, and that's just not the kingdom of God here.
SPEAKER_02: So let's let's look at what this can look like when we bring it back into alignment and heal that look or heal that um perspective.
SPEAKER_02: Submission in the Greek is the word hopitaso and means to place underneath, to be subject, to obey.
SPEAKER_02: If you break it down, mission being the core word, sub being the predecessor, sub to a mission, to come under the mission of leadership.
SPEAKER_02: If your marriage feels like it's in chaos, you have to look to the head first and see where the man has not supplied a kingdom of God aligned mission to his bride.
SPEAKER_02: If he's operating in his own capacity, he's out of alignment and there can't be sub to the mission.
SPEAKER_02: I love how George, Dr.
SPEAKER_02: George Knight III, who was a theologian, professor, and dean of New Testament studies at Covenant Seminary for 19 years, this is how he explains the meaning of hopitasso.
SPEAKER_02: The meaning of hopitasso, used consistently in charge to wives, is the same as its meaning in Ephesians 5.21.
SPEAKER_02: That is, submission in the sense of voluntarily yielding in love.
SPEAKER_02: This definition of submission, in my opinion, is so powerful.
SPEAKER_02: It reframes and heals some of the broken context of what culture has placed on this word.
SPEAKER_02: It captures more accurately the heart of the author and God's heart, I believe, voluntarily yielding in love.
SPEAKER_02: It is as much an attitude as it is an action, and it involves both parties.
SPEAKER_02: It's extremely important to note that from our text that verse 21 precedes verse 22.
SPEAKER_02: Submitting to one another in the fear of God.
SPEAKER_02: Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: The man, gentlemen, has a responsibility to yield in love to the wife just as the woman yields to her husband.
SPEAKER_02: It's interesting that the mutual submission of the man and woman is dependent on a mutual submission as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: If we are both not mutually submitting to God the Father, then whatever happens in the four walls of your home is going to be broken on the onset.
SPEAKER_02: We both have a mandate to seek God's kingdom first.
SPEAKER_02: And when we do that, all these things are added unto.
SPEAKER_02: And I'll tell you what, all these things, the first thing that needs to be added unto when I seek God's kingdom first is my relationship second only to Jesus in my marriage with Mandy.
SPEAKER_02: From there, things can flow.
SPEAKER_02: Power can connect, and we can be in alignment with God's kingdom as a mighty force, as God intended for man and wife to interact.
SPEAKER_02: Ultimately, the writer is telling us that we can't submit to one another without first submitting to Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: So let's dig into the first six verses.
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, chewing on this this week, it was not lost on me that Peter gives the wives six verses and the man one.
SPEAKER_02: What does that come to mean to me?
SPEAKER_02: He knew that you were going to need some extra encouragement in dealing with us.
SPEAKER_02: So you get some extra context.
SPEAKER_02: Wives likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, by fear of the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: The fear of the Lord is what's leading you here.
SPEAKER_02: And I will say that there are there are matriarchs in my immediate purview, there are matriarchs in my in our in our life, in Mandy and I's relationships and our family where we have seen this modeled and walked out, where by the woman walking out, the call and the mandate that 1 Peter is describing, that Peter's describing here, has brought alignment back to the husband.
SPEAKER_02: In one case, uh there was a husband who was not a believer, worked a lot of his years in the law enforcement uh system, came to know Christ through her gentle faithfulness, her consistency, and chasing God's kingdom.
SPEAKER_02: He left law enforcement and then served the last part of his career as a minister.
SPEAKER_02: It so captured him and motivated him that it turned him in that direction.
SPEAKER_02: And I could go on and on about other models that we've witnessed in our lives that have been so precious, uh, none less than my own wife's in my own life.
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm just so thankful for just her godliness, and that's been so intact in the way that she's walked that out and God's calling on her life.
SPEAKER_02: And she has sought God's kingdom first and foremost throughout our entire marriage.
SPEAKER_02: And it's been her compass, it's been her model, and it's been inspirational, and it's brought me from places of darkness to light and healing as well.
SPEAKER_02: So, men, I will say your wives desire and want to do good work because God placed that in them.
SPEAKER_02: It's part of their DNA.
SPEAKER_02: Wives, men, God has placed in your men somewhere in there.
SPEAKER_02: I promise it's in there.
SPEAKER_02: A desire to want to show up healthy, strong, as a spiritual leader to give you safety and security in the ways that your heart deeply desires and needs that.
SPEAKER_02: Now we get it wrong on both sides of the fence, right?
SPEAKER_02: Nobody's perfect here, so our humanity gets in the way oftentimes.
SPEAKER_02: And so we have to be kind and give grace where grace is due.
SPEAKER_02: Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel.
SPEAKER_02: Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart within the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
SPEAKER_02: Not only is it precious in the sight of God, but when we as men stop and we ponder this for a minute, and there's a saying in my house that my wife does with our children and our girls, and I love it, it's modest is hottest.
SPEAKER_02: And we live in a sex and lust-infused culture on both sides of the fence, where men are not taking care to protect and garner themselves and protect their sexuality as well as women, and it's just infused in our culture.
SPEAKER_02: But we have a bigger mandate.
SPEAKER_02: And so, what's being modeled at home?
SPEAKER_02: What are we putting on our social media?
SPEAKER_02: Mom and dad, are you monitoring what's happening with your children's social media?
SPEAKER_02: Are you watching and giving good counsel?
SPEAKER_02: Being a guardian to protect their hearts.
SPEAKER_02: When I was in the youth group, I'm a recovering youth pastor now, praise God for Joey.
SPEAKER_02: I'll just say that we we have, I you I would say, be careful, students, don't go out and like the licentious, lustful things in our culture.
SPEAKER_02: Be careful not to like that because that encourages negative behavior.
SPEAKER_02: And we got to change the culture.
SPEAKER_02: Let's shift the culture.
SPEAKER_02: And so we have we have a mandate here.
SPEAKER_02: And so I just want to encourage all of us in this way.
SPEAKER_02: And and I'm where I'm in a Bible study with some young men, and these young men, when they're sitting down and they're being honest with their hearts, they're saying, Yeah, I want I want a woman who is protecting her beauty, who's keeping her beauty sacred, because I value that.
SPEAKER_02: And for the ones that aren't, some of the conversation of some of these guys has been like, I want to go help them.
SPEAKER_02: I want to protect them because of what the world is wanting to put on them as far as an image or an idea.
SPEAKER_02: And it's I'm very encouraged by this group of guys and how they're running after God and trying to put things in their heart to protect and preserve the integrity and the sexuality of women.
SPEAKER_02: So God bless you guys.
SPEAKER_02: I know some of you were in here.
SPEAKER_02: For this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
SPEAKER_02: Pause.
SPEAKER_02: Scripture calls you as brides and wives to support your own.
SPEAKER_02: Husbands.
SPEAKER_02: He does not call you to support all the husbands in the world.
SPEAKER_02: You have one person, one guy in your life that you are to support.
SPEAKER_02: And so if you're out of alignment there, God, I pray Holy Spirit just ministers there because I would say that that's that would that be overwhelming.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, not that one isn't enough to deal with, anyways, right?
SPEAKER_02: So he's given you a big enough task there.
SPEAKER_02: As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughter you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
SPEAKER_02: I think at the end of this, where terror can come into a woman's life is where she feels unstable and insecure.
SPEAKER_02: And we as husbands and men can let them down and bring unnecessary terror into their lives where they don't feel secure in our leadership, in our mission.
SPEAKER_02: God's design in creation was to create support for Adam by bringing Eve into the picture.
SPEAKER_02: Eve is God's final piece of creation.
SPEAKER_02: It's the last thing person he makes in creation.
SPEAKER_02: It's his crowning jewel over all of it.
SPEAKER_02: I dare say that we have not done at times, men, good job taking care of God's crowning jewel in creation and our lives.
SPEAKER_02: He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and finds favor with God.
SPEAKER_02: If you're married today, you found a good thing and you've found favor with God.
SPEAKER_02: The scripture defines Eve's role as a helpmeet or helpmate.
SPEAKER_02: And it talks, there's a lot of studies done about what that looks like, the mandate that's been placed, and I think even some broken context around that.
SPEAKER_02: But to heal that a little bit and maybe give a different narrative or a different perspective over this word, I want to talk about this as it relates to another translation is to give military aid or support.
SPEAKER_02: There's a kingdom DNA that's been written in women's hearts and their ability to have strength and endure.
SPEAKER_02: A critical component of the war we fight, as we understand God's mission for humanity, as sons and daughters.
SPEAKER_02: As the sons were called to the battlefront.
SPEAKER_02: And I get this image, and it's depicted a little bit in the series for a Band of Brothers.
SPEAKER_02: And the men are on the front line, the aid station only a few miles behind enemy lines, and men are getting wounded and they're coming back to the aid station.
SPEAKER_02: They're needing triage, they're needing care, vital care, and they're needing restoration to get back into the battle.
SPEAKER_02: Now keep in mind this aid station is still close to bombings, bullets, and they are not out of harm's way.
SPEAKER_02: Our wives are not out of harm's way, but when we work together in alignment and we step into the beauty of the creation of God's design here, we men, when we get battled and bruised in the war that we face daily, we can retreat back into the strength, care, and design that God has given our brides to restore, prepare, and repair us to go back boldly with confidence back to the front lines and do the work God has for us as men.
SPEAKER_02: Mandy's care on care and triage for me in hard things in my life, bringing wisdom and discernment.
SPEAKER_02: And her discernment is like a sixth sense man.
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you what.
SPEAKER_02: She can read the room, she can read the situation, and I'll come, and she is my chief battle counsel and aid these days.
SPEAKER_02: And I so heavily rely on her counsel.
SPEAKER_02: Together we find clarity, pray about things, we discover truth, we invite God's light into a situation together, coming into alignment, praying together in unity, and we discover a path forward.
SPEAKER_02: This is available to all of us.
SPEAKER_02: Proverbs 12:4.
SPEAKER_02: A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.
SPEAKER_02: Paul writes in Colossians 3.18, wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: Now let's, in the context of unity and postmodern post-Christian culture, we get into the home roles and all that.
SPEAKER_02: Let's also discover what Paul's written in Galatians chapter 3 here.
SPEAKER_02: Chapter 3, 26 through 28.
SPEAKER_02: For all of you are sons of God through the faith in Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02: For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free.
SPEAKER_02: There is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: So culture has increasingly defined roles in the home as either superior or inferior, and not for all bad reasons.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not negating the fact that there are certainly men who have abused their role and women who have been deeply hurt by an unhealthy masculinity.
SPEAKER_02: This passage is not speaking of equality.
SPEAKER_02: The equality of the man and woman is a given.
SPEAKER_02: We are all created by God's design for a purpose as children of God that are equal in the eyes of God.
SPEAKER_02: Paul has given clarity to our status before God in a clear letter to the Galatians.
SPEAKER_02: The Bible is crystal clear that we are all created equal in God's eyes.
SPEAKER_02: Our gender is a gift from God.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Given sovereignly by God and has no bearing on our worth before Him.
SPEAKER_02: When we place our faith in Christ as our Savior and Lord, we are all, male and female, baptized into Christ with the same spiritual status.
SPEAKER_02: Regardless of our sex, we as fellow followers of Jesus are all one in Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02: Now, in case you were feeling left out, we talked to the women, men, Paul has a few, or Peter has a few things for us to uh unpack here and discover.
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna jump into verse 7 of our primary text, and there's a mission here for us, we can't pass this over.
SPEAKER_02: Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
SPEAKER_02: I want to connect this directly right now to Colossians 3.19.
SPEAKER_02: Because just as in Colossians 3.18, where he's talking to the wives about your support to the husbands, Paul now writes, Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
SPEAKER_02: Never and always can be, you've heard me say this in the past, they can be kind of derogatory words in our own home.
SPEAKER_02: We try not to use never and always.
SPEAKER_02: But I will say in this context, and I support this, Paul says with a heavy mandate, never treat them harshly.
SPEAKER_02: I've not been perfect in this.
SPEAKER_02: I know that I've treated my bride harshly, and I've fallen out of God's alignment in that.
SPEAKER_02: Women's strength as it relates to weakness above.
SPEAKER_02: This is an interesting conversation we've had this week.
SPEAKER_02: My wife and I were unpacking these and we were talking about the scriptures, and I was asking her opinions, and she was sharing with me, and she just was very honest, and she's like, you know, I don't really like that Peter is saying that I'm the weaker vessel here.
SPEAKER_02: And I said, You have absolutely every right to feel that way as a woman who has out of three out of our four births of children given natural births.
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Nobody's gonna discount your ability to endure, withstand, excruciating pain.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we were going through one of the classes with one of our children, and they were like, okay, context for the husbands about pain and the waves that come in with uh with the birth.
SPEAKER_02: Help me out here.
SPEAKER_02: Contractions.
SPEAKER_02: That's that's where I'm at with the with the topic, right?
SPEAKER_02: I'm actually I'm better than that, but I do say, she's like, here, stick your hand in a bucket of ice water, see how long you can hold it there.
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, I got this.
SPEAKER_02: I've ran through the desert, done these things, fell on cactus.
SPEAKER_02: I can endure this.
SPEAKER_02: Stuck my hand in the ice water.
SPEAKER_02: It's uncomfortable, it's uncomfortable, fire, pain, millions of needles starting to stick me in the hand, and I just start to like wince, and I kind of start to faint.
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I gotta pull this out, I gotta pull this out.
SPEAKER_02: It's more than I can endure.
SPEAKER_02: Pull it out.
SPEAKER_02: And the instructor was like, okay, all right.
SPEAKER_02: Some of you lasted longer than others.
SPEAKER_02: No judgment here, but just so you know, like multiply that pain times a hundred, and you might be somewhat close to the fire that happens in childbirth.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm going, You are a Jedi of pain.
SPEAKER_02: You can endure pain.
SPEAKER_02: And so what Peter's saying here is that there is a physical strength that men have here.
SPEAKER_02: And we need to, men, we have a beauty and an opportunity to show up with that strength in a gentle and loving way, but firm, that gives security and gives confidence in our wives that my man is strong, and he will bring protection and provision, not abuse and domination with that strength.
SPEAKER_02: But he's going to use that strength in a holy, honorable way to preserve and protect and preserve our home and our marriage and bring me safety and confidence.
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
SPEAKER_02: Praise God.
SPEAKER_02: He gets it.
SPEAKER_02: My single man in the front.
SPEAKER_02: God's bringing you a beautiful blessing and a vessel and a bride, brother.
SPEAKER_02: She's on her way.
SPEAKER_02: Believing with you, praying with you in that.
SPEAKER_02: So, in that same motive, my wife, and it's an honor.
SPEAKER_02: She'll bring me the pickle jar or whatever jar.
SPEAKER_02: She's like, Can you open this?
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02: As you wish, right?
SPEAKER_02: I like to quote Wesley from uh Princess Bride, as you wish.
SPEAKER_02: She's like, Oh, it's so easy.
SPEAKER_02: I said, It's a joy and an honor.
SPEAKER_02: Here you go.
SPEAKER_02: As you wish.
SPEAKER_02: So it's fun.
SPEAKER_02: We have fun.
SPEAKER_02: You can have fun with it, and it's great, and it should be that way.
SPEAKER_02: And it's what we're called to give.
SPEAKER_02: Women have an unrivaled strength too.
SPEAKER_02: Do not miss this.
SPEAKER_02: We have great context.
SPEAKER_02: Women of the scriptures show up strong.
SPEAKER_02: Right?
SPEAKER_02: Barack comes, King Barack comes to Deborah.
SPEAKER_02: I need your help.
SPEAKER_02: She's like, Really, bro?
SPEAKER_02: I'll help you, but you're going to forgo the glory.
SPEAKER_02: He's like, but I need your.
SPEAKER_02: She's like, I think you can do it on your own.
SPEAKER_02: No, I need your help.
SPEAKER_02: She's like, okay, I'll do this.
SPEAKER_02: I'll help you, but I'm, you know, the glory is not going to be yours.
SPEAKER_02: And behind that scene, Deborah goes on and secures the victory for that dude.
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, but in the ranks, in the ranks of like the sergeant under Deborah, we find Jael hidden beautifully in the passages and the scriptures of chapter 4 and Judges.
SPEAKER_02: And Jael pins the general's head to the ground with a tent peg, pretty much securing the victory for Israel over the Canaanites.
SPEAKER_02: And you're like, my wife goes, that's my favorite story.
SPEAKER_02: I said, It is?
SPEAKER_02: She goes, it's my favorite story.
SPEAKER_02: I start sleeping with one eye open.
SPEAKER_02: I put all the camping gear in the shed.
SPEAKER_02: It's good.
SPEAKER_02: Praise God.
SPEAKER_02: Strength.
SPEAKER_02: Don't abuse it, men.
SPEAKER_02: You could find yourself pinned to a floor.
SPEAKER_02: If they need it, they can use it, and it's in them to do it.
SPEAKER_02: So praise God for the strength that men that God gave them.
SPEAKER_02: Here's what I want us to capture, and this is so critical for us.
SPEAKER_02: Our prayers need to rise to the Father's ear, men.
SPEAKER_02: We cannot afford for our prayers to be hindered due to the lack of care and love we need to give to our brides.
SPEAKER_02: In this day and age, for our culture, for our homes, for our families, we need to not have our prayers hindered.
SPEAKER_02: And James 5, 16 says this.
SPEAKER_02: The second half of the scripture, the first part's talking about confessing your sins.
SPEAKER_02: It's a beautiful place to do that inside of your marriage as well.
SPEAKER_02: Bring it to one another that you may be healed.
SPEAKER_02: But the second part of it, the earnest prayer of a righteous man, has great power and produces wonderful results.
SPEAKER_02: You're limiting your power and your ability to produce results when you are living out of alignment with God and you are not a righteous man.
SPEAKER_02: What does a righteous man look like?
SPEAKER_02: And more importantly, how do we live righteously before the Lord and our brides?
SPEAKER_02: And James, in chapter three, in verses 17 and 18, gives context to how we achieve this.
SPEAKER_02: We need wisdom from God to fill us and lead us in the path of righteousness as a husband, carrying out the mission and mandate from Jesus to love our brides as he loves his church.
SPEAKER_02: The answer comes here.
SPEAKER_02: James 3.
SPEAKER_02: But the wisdom from above is first of all pure.
SPEAKER_02: Men we need to be pure.
SPEAKER_02: It is also peace loving and gentle.
SPEAKER_02: Men we need to be peace loving and gentle with our brides at all times.
SPEAKER_02: And willing to yield to others, and willing to yield in love to her wisdom and discernment.
SPEAKER_02: It is full of mercy.
SPEAKER_02: We need to be merciful and not harsh, and the fruit of good deeds.
SPEAKER_02: It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.
SPEAKER_02: And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
SPEAKER_02: When you operate in alignment with that context and that scripture, if you went home today, men and studied James 3 and committed to living that out in your marriage, you will have a path and a harvest of righteousness.
SPEAKER_02: Your prayers will be heard.
SPEAKER_02: Your wife will come under alignment.
SPEAKER_02: You will have a mission that she can follow.
SPEAKER_02: There's a correlation between Peter and Paul and the fearing of God in both of their texts.
SPEAKER_02: In 1 Peter 3:2b and Ephesians 5 21, just follow me on this.
SPEAKER_02: Submission has an important correlation to fearing the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
SPEAKER_02: We hear this in Proverbs and the Psalms.
SPEAKER_02: Job 28, 28 says, Behold the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil, that is understanding.
SPEAKER_02: Wisdom wants to crank up the fear factor.
SPEAKER_02: One of the wisest things you could ever do is fuel the fear of the Lord in your life, men.
SPEAKER_02: Fear equals wisdom, wisdom equals submission unto God.
SPEAKER_02: This greatly enhances our ability to bring our will and spirit into perfect alignment with God's kingdom and be submitted unto Him.
SPEAKER_02: Submission is a spiritual revolution that can only happen within our hearts when we surrender our desires and our passions to the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: The power of submission is the power of surrendering to Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: Every man and every woman who desires a kingdom of God marriage, led and empowered by Jesus, must learn the spirit of submission.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus Himself is our greatest example.
SPEAKER_02: His attitude of submission to his heavenly Father is our model in our marriage relationship.
SPEAKER_02: We are exhorted to have the same submitted attitude.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus yielded in love, obeyed, and served God the Father, even to the point of death on the cross.
SPEAKER_02: I say submission is the DNA of the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_02: The triune God of the universe is mutual submission to the roles given by God the Father.
SPEAKER_02: The Son submits to the Father, the Spirit submits to the Son, and we are called to submit to God mutually in our roles as husband and wife.
SPEAKER_02: Men, you must have a mission.
SPEAKER_02: Women, God has called you to yield in love to your man and the mission God has given him.
SPEAKER_02: Quickly, there are six disciplines of kingdom, support, or submission that we are both to walk out.
SPEAKER_02: I think this is God's design for us and the mandate that we both carry.
SPEAKER_02: Both husband and wife yielding in love to Jesus first.
SPEAKER_02: Seek the kingdom of God first.
SPEAKER_02: If you're seeking God's kingdom, all these things shall be ended unto you.
SPEAKER_02: Number two, both husband and wife loving each other with the power of the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_02: And when you need to, with the sermon and wisdom, recalibrating your hearts at the cross when needed.
SPEAKER_02: Each of you is called to do that.
SPEAKER_02: And I can tell you that there are times throughout the week and daily where I know that I am now operating in my own understanding.
SPEAKER_02: I don't have God's peace and I don't have God's love.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm starting to experience chaos.
SPEAKER_02: First in my life, then with my marriage.
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, I need to recalibrate.
SPEAKER_02: I need to tap out and say, God, recalibrate me.
SPEAKER_02: I come full submission and obedience unto you.
SPEAKER_02: Where am I out of alignment?
SPEAKER_02: Where am I out of submission to you and your kingdom and your call in my life?
SPEAKER_02: Together, husband and wife seeking God for the mission of their marriage.
SPEAKER_02: God speaking to the man for the family's mission, engaging his bride for feedback.
SPEAKER_02: It's critical that if God has given you a download, bring it back to her and say, where do we need to strengthen?
SPEAKER_02: Where do we need to support this?
SPEAKER_02: What are the holes?
SPEAKER_02: What are the gaps?
SPEAKER_02: How do we take this and launch this?
SPEAKER_02: How do we turn this into action?
SPEAKER_02: Husband leading out and his bride encouraging with support the mission God has given.
SPEAKER_02: The wife, number six, yielding in love to the leadership of her husband as he yields to the leadership and mission God has given.
SPEAKER_02: Men, do you know where you're going with your life?
SPEAKER_02: Do you have a God-given mission for your wife and family?
SPEAKER_02: Your wife cannot follow a man who doesn't know where he's going.
SPEAKER_02: Someone has said that anyone who thinks they're a leader but finds no one is following is only taking a walk.
SPEAKER_02: Are you taking a walk or are you leading your wife?
SPEAKER_02: Are you submitting to Jesus or are you drawing up your own plans for your marriage?
SPEAKER_02: If so, how's that going for you thus far?
SPEAKER_02: Is there chaos?
SPEAKER_02: And I'll just submit to you today with all humility, love, and deep respect and compassion that Mandy's continued lifelong faithfulness to seek God's kingdom first, time and time again, has been so inspirational to me.
SPEAKER_02: Her model has challenged me to do the same, and I hope that I've given her encouragement along the way in her journey as well.
SPEAKER_02: The fruit of her support in our marriage has created in me a deep desire to be found worthy by God to lead her well, to lead with love and gentle strength.
SPEAKER_02: I want to consistently be recalibrating my plans and goals, ideas, and the mission at the cross, operating in the fear of the Lord and his design in my life.
SPEAKER_02: James is so faithful, just to remind us, in 417, I'll leave you with this passage.
SPEAKER_02: As we go into worship, I want to invite you.
SPEAKER_02: So men and women, today when we come into worship, may we call ourselves into our own alignment, where we bring, where we're out of alignment in our hearts, in our marriages, separately as man, as woman, as husband, as wife, we bring before God in a holy posture and reverence to say, God, I want to be realigned with you.
SPEAKER_02: I want to hear the voice, the audible voice of God over my life, over my marriage, over the mission you've called us to do.
SPEAKER_02: Because when you come together and you put that together, God unleashes one of his kingdom mysteries, and that is a holy, righteous power of man and wife operating in kingdom marriage that this world needs, your family needs, your children need, and the light of the kingdom bursts out onto the scene, and hearts are freed, and we're released from bondage.org.
SPEAKER_00: God bless.