WEBVTT 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:11.199 Good listening to this edition of the road. 00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:13.359 Now, guys, please hear me. 00:00:13.439 --> 00:00:22.079 If you don't drill down on anything else I say today, you need to really pay attention right now, because unfortunately, I'm going to describe a lot of people who are in this auditorium. 00:00:23.359 --> 00:00:35.359 When we share our testimony together at this point that city would take over and say, the next eight years after I said the prayer would become a living nightmare. 00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:37.200 And here's why. 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:44.399 I accepted Jesus as my savior, not my Lord. 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:50.320 At The Road, our vision is to raise up wholehearted disciples of Jesus Christ. 00:00:50.479 --> 00:00:54.719 For more information on the road, visit theroad.org. 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:58.000 We hope you are encouraged by today's message. 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:04.879 So today, now it's time to for the message time. 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:06.239 You want to hear a message? 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:08.000 Really? 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:09.200 Let me try that again. 00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:10.480 You want to hear a message? 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:14.400 Well, uh you got me. 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:17.200 Pastor Steve said, You take it. 00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:19.280 So uh I'm taking it this morning. 00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.239 So if you don't like the message, you can blame Pastor Steve. 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:23.120 How's that? 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:27.599 Actually, uh, Pastor Steve spoke yesterday at that uh Trans America event. 00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:30.560 How many of you were at that event where Pastor Steve talked yesterday? 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:31.840 Are there anybody here from that event? 00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:32.799 Just a few of you. 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:34.879 I understand it was an incredible event. 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:39.359 He spoke there to a lot of uh business uh folks and brought a powerful message. 00:01:39.439 --> 00:01:42.400 He'll share more about that next time he comes up, I'm sure. 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:45.599 All right, uh okay to have fun in church. 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:52.079 Is it okay to have fun in church? 00:01:54.319 --> 00:02:01.920 Next fall, uh Pastor Steve and Liz and then Cindy and I are gonna be uh bringing a couples event to our church. 00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:06.799 We're gonna, we don't know what the dates are yet, but we're gonna, and it occurred to me when I was thinking about this yesterday. 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:09.840 In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking, you know, we gotta prepare for that. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:20.000 When when Cindy and I first started doing couples events many years ago, Cindy encouraged me that I need to go out and find out more about women, because he he didn't think I knew very much about women. 00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:24.719 So um, how many of you have discovered that there's a difference between men and women? 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:27.599 Yeah, all right, come on, man. 00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:31.439 I mean, if this were a men's event, the men would be going, yeah, they're different, man. 00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:33.599 I mean, no, there's a difference between men and women. 00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:34.800 Do you know what the difference is? 00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:37.039 You want me to can I teach you what the difference is? 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:38.400 Huh? 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:39.599 You gotta encourage me. 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:43.439 All right, when little babies are born, we're essentially the same. 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:45.520 Our brains look pretty much the same. 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:52.000 We don't know why this happens, but around the six-week mark, there's a chemical released in the male brain called testosterone. 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:56.960 And it has the effect of deteriorating the connecting fibers between the right and left hemisphere. 00:02:57.199 --> 00:02:59.520 No, no, no, this is true of a little boy's brain. 00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:03.439 We it doesn't sever them completely, it just deteriorates them a little bit. 00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:09.759 The result of that is that little boys, as we're growing up, we think more compartmentally. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.240 We think with one side of our brain at a time. 00:03:12.479 --> 00:03:16.080 So a man can walk into a room and experience that room. 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:25.439 He can leave the room, shut the door, and go into an entirely different room and experience that room, totally independent of the room we were just in, it's called called compartmentalization. 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:27.439 Now, with you ladies, it doesn't work that way. 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:31.120 Everything in your life kind of flows together like a river. 00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:41.919 So we you ladies are more right brain, uh we men are more wrong, left brain, and so we so and when you ladies say something to us guys like, how does that make you feel? 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.800 I mean, you know, you kind of get the deer and the headlights look, it might take us a couple of weeks to think about it, you know? 00:03:50.879 --> 00:04:00.479 And so we're just not in well, think of it this way: you ladies have this incredibly thick network of wires and conduits and transistors and electronic gadgetry connecting both sides of your brain. 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:03.759 And with us guys, it's like two paper cups and a string, man. 00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:06.240 Hello! We're just out of touch. 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:09.520 Uh I was down in San Diego many years ago. 00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:11.599 Some of you know Dwight Johnson. 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:14.479 Uh Dwight Johnson uh is pretty well known around town. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:23.759 He's come here for a while, and I had an invitation to speak in an event down there, and this was like way back in the 90s, and Dwight Johnson let me stay at his house in San Diego. 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:29.920 So I stayed there, and I got home, and I told Cindy, I said, Hey honey, Dwight let me stay at his house, and I saved a lot of money. 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.199 You know, I didn't have to go to the hotel. 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:32.720 And she said, Well, that was really nice. 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.040 Why don't we s why don't we send him a card? 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:37.120 I said, Great, let's let's send him a card. 00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:41.040 And she said, Well, you know, it was so nice, why don't we send them a why don't we send them a gift? 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.040 I said, Great, let's send them a gift. 00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:45.360 So she says, What are their colors? 00:04:52.319 --> 00:04:54.399 I said, honey, I think they're both white. 00:04:55.360 --> 00:04:56.959 No, that's not what I mean. 00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:58.399 What color is the carpet? 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:00.160 How many of you guys look at the carpet? 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:02.240 We don't understand what the color of the carpet is. 00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:08.000 So I got so frustrated, I decided to find out the technical difference between men and women. 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:08.879 You want to hear it? 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:12.399 Okay. 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:14.399 I know this is true. 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:16.560 You got it off the internet. 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:22.399 What is a cat? 00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:25.279 Cats do what they want. 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:26.800 They rarely listen to you. 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:28.560 They're totally unpredictable. 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:30.879 When you want to play, they want to be alone. 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.120 They expect you to cater to their every whim. 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:34.240 They're moody. 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:36.160 They leave their hair everywhere. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:37.600 They drive you nuts. 00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:39.519 And they cost an arm and a leg. 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:40.879 Conclusion. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:43.600 They are tiny women in little fur coats. 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:50.800 All the men are saying, honey, I have no idea who that guy is. 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:51.199 I don't know. 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:52.720 What they find, but well, I'm not done. 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:53.519 I'm not done yet. 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:55.279 Ladies, are you ready? 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:57.279 Ladies, are you ready? 00:05:58.240 --> 00:05:59.439 What is a dog? 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:04.720 My dogs lie around all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:10.319 They can hear a package of food being opened half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room with them. 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:13.839 They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:16.959 I'm sorry, Stu. 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:21.279 They can look dumb and lovable. 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:23.360 They growl when they're not happy. 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.120 When you want to play, they want to play. 00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:28.000 When you want to be alone, they want to play. 00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:31.199 They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. 00:06:31.279 --> 00:06:33.120 They leave their toys everywhere. 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:36.720 Conclusion: they are tiny men in little fur coats. 00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:40.560 And that is the message that Steve wanted me to bring to you this morning. 00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:42.000 So there you go. 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:56.079 Anyway, I'm excited because I had a I had a message planned for this morning, and when I shared it with staff, uh they all encouraged me not to share the message I had prepared, but rather to tell my story. 00:06:56.160 --> 00:07:04.639 It occurs to me that many of you know who I am, and they know uh you know a little bit about Cindy and my journey and our family, but many of you don't know. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:19.279 And I've been on board here now since September, so I'm gonna tell you just briefly a little bit of my background, my story, because it's a it's a powerful one, but I generally don't tell the the front end since 1989 up till now. 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:23.199 Just quickly let me rehearse that and what brought us here to the road. 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.600 In 1989, I left the business world. 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:30.800 I was with a Fortune 500 company for 25 years based in Southern California. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:37.680 I found myself on the top floor of the Alker Towers one day because I was an officer and vice president of this corporation. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:45.839 I was I was up there with a battery of lawyers signing paperwork to buck to borrow$200 million to protect our company from a hostile takeover. 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:50.399 After that happened, I discovered that there was no hostile takeover threat at all. 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:58.079 It was a ruse on the part of some of the people that were above me to buy back 51% of the shares to have controlling interest in the company. 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:01.360 I read the handwriting on the wall, and I got out just in time. 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:03.600 Two years later, they filed bankruptcy. 00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:08.560 When I left the business world, didn't know what I was going to do, I ran into a man named Dick Eastman. 00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:09.839 Many of you know who he is. 00:08:10.079 --> 00:08:13.120 We were introduced by a mutual friend in Southern California. 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:21.279 Dick had just taken over a little ministry, or actually a big ministry called Every Home for Christ, with his little ministry, Change the World School of Prayer. 00:08:21.439 --> 00:08:25.759 He'd been there three months, and he really needed someone like me to come in and help run it. 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:36.000 Long story short, they hired me in 1989, right out of the business world, and they made me executive vice president and CEO, very unusual combination, of Every Home for Christ. 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:38.799 I actually reported directly to the board at that time. 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:52.480 Came on board, helped reorganize the ministry, merge two ministries together, uh, helped work through a new vision casting process, and in year three of that development decided that we needed to look at maybe another place to locate. 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:57.759 Decided to check out Colorado Springs, by the way, totally independent of Focus on the Family. 00:08:57.919 --> 00:09:00.559 Didn't have any idea Focus on the Family was moving here. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:08.480 We found that out later through a mutual friend, Gary Larson, who happened to be the architect for Focus on the Family and a dear friend of ours. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:11.919 So we came here on the coattails back in 91. 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.159 You guys remember that whole migration? 00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:18.639 We moved here with 30 families and lived in Monument, built a house in Monument. 00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:23.919 But uh I left in '94 and started on target ministries. 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:27.360 And if you want to know anything about us, you just go to otm.co. 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:29.120 That's the website. 00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:32.240 But we've been doing men's ministry for 25 years now. 00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:37.120 This is our 25-year anniversary this June, and uh mostly for men. 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:42.240 I've done Promise Keeper events and we did our own events all across North America, really around the world. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:51.679 And uh my wife and I do couple seminars all around the world, and I also do a lot of conferences for senior pastors on the six structural elements of effective churches. 00:09:51.840 --> 00:10:01.120 So I've been doing that ministry for 25 years, and then most of you know the story of what happened to Cindy back in 2009, where we almost lost her. 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:17.360 I shared that story last year when I was here about how miraculously God intervened, and on Super Bowl Sunny 2010, the doctors came in and informed us after four months in ICU, mostly in a coma, they came in and told us that Cindy was not going to live. 00:10:17.519 --> 00:10:19.200 There was zero chance for survival. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:21.919 And of course, many of you know the rest of the story. 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:23.759 God had a different idea. 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:33.039 She was miraculously healed, but as a result of what she experienced, she had scar tissue on her lungs, which made it difficult for us to live at this altitude. 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:38.000 So we decided a few years ago to go to Southern California, where our other daughter lives. 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:45.759 Uh, Kim and Mark, our daughter, our Kristen and Mark, Kristen, our daughter here with her family, is here with us today, and they're part of our church. 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:49.679 Our daughter Kristen is uh in Southern California where we moved to. 00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:58.240 And then as we began to come back and visit in 2017, uh, we figured out that she didn't need oxygen anymore at altitude. 00:10:58.320 --> 00:10:59.600 So that was another miracle. 00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:05.519 So we decided to take a risk and step out on faith, really, to come back here and give it a try. 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:11.039 When Pastor Steve found out we were thinking about coming back, I had met Steve a couple of years ago. 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:12.399 We became dear friends. 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:16.080 I heard his story and his journey, and it so impacted me. 00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:20.480 What God has done in this man is just nothing short of amazing. 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.960 Uh he is one of the most humble, gifted leaders I've come across in a very long time. 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:28.240 He has a powerful ministry to men, which also drew me. 00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:35.759 Uh he asked me to be an overseer, I agreed, and then when he found out that we were possibly coming back, he asked me if I would consider coming on staff. 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:39.360 And so we went back and forth for a while, and then I decided to do that. 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:43.360 So we're on staff here since September, and we're still doing on-target ministry. 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:45.759 So that's kind of the back end of the story. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.240 Now, the front end of the story is uh a little different. 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:56.240 I was born into a very large Italian family in in uh in Rhode Island back in 1945. 00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:03.600 I I know I don't look like I was born in 1945, but I was I was born when I was 12, so that counts for that. 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:08.799 But anyway, uh and Cindy and I, by the way, have been married this year 54 years. 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:10.559 54 years. 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:16.960 Cindy, Cindy, honey, honey, honey, will you pay attention to me? 00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:18.480 Stand up for just a second. 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:19.440 Say hello. 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:21.840 Does that look 54 years marriage? 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:22.480 No. 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:27.919 So anyway, I was born in Rhode Island into a large Italian family. 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:39.600 When I was eight years old, my mom and dad decided that uh they we we needed to move to uh uh to Southern California or to go to Southern California to visit my mom's relatives for a two-week vacation. 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:50.799 So they they packed all three of us kids, my myself, my brother, who was I was eight years old, my brother was six, and my little sister was just a few months old, into an old Nash Rambler, ugliest car you ever saw. 00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:54.639 And across the country we went for a two-week vacation to visit the relatives in California. 00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:57.840 Well, uh we never went back to Rhode Island. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:04.159 And I I didn't realize until I was 14 years old that the reason we didn't go back is because mom and dad were running from the law. 00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:09.919 Now, we didn't know that at the time, but there wasn't a Bonnie and Clyde thing or anything like that. 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:17.919 But uh my dad had got into some financial trouble, and uh they decided to encourage us to move to Southern California and they'll send the furniture later. 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:21.039 Well, you know, you could do that back then, you couldn't do that today. 00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:24.559 So here we are in Southern California, but here's the problem for me. 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:32.639 I was this eight-year-old, firstborn in my dad's generation, so everybody spoiled me, especially my grandma who lived with us. 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:35.279 Everything I wanted, she would get for me. 00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:39.440 And I and and and my mom, I would go to the store with my mom and she and I would say, I want that. 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:40.240 She'd say no. 00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:48.799 So I'd throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store, yell and scream, and my mom would always give in to me, which of course we know is not a good idea. 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:56.240 So I learned at a very early age, now listen, I learned how to become a controlling person. 00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:04.799 We don't intellectualize it like that, but we learn behaviorally that if I can do certain things and cause other people to do what I want them to do. 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:06.559 So I learned how to do that. 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.919 So my mom and dad, here I am, this out of control little guy. 00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:14.639 So my mom and dad decide to put me in the Catholic school system. 00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.279 So how many of you have been in the Catholic school system? 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:23.759 Okay, Catholic school system, back then, corporal punishment was in, and they really liked it. 00:14:23.919 --> 00:14:24.240 Okay? 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:32.720 And so here I go in this grade school, and and they they had the the nuns, you know, the sisters, they wore the thing, what's the what do you call that thing there? 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:35.360 Yeah, I think it was so tight that they couldn't smile. 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:36.559 You know, it didn't be really tight. 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:48.799 And so I remember Mother Anthony, big woman, could hit really hard, man, and they were beating me up every day, and my mom and dad would bail me out, and I barely made it through the grade school system, ended up in the Catholic high school system. 00:14:49.120 --> 00:14:55.039 Okay, all boys, Notre Dame High School, Sherman Oaks, California, all boys at that time. 00:14:55.279 --> 00:14:59.679 And so they didn't have sisters, they had brothers. 00:14:59.919 --> 00:15:06.159 And if you think sisters are tough, you haven't lived until you've been under the brothers of the Holy Cross. 00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:06.720 Okay? 00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.679 They would hit you, seriously, closed fist. 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:11.759 They would draw blood. 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:13.759 I lasted one year. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:16.799 The last day, I mean, I was so totally out of control. 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.360 The only brother I remember is Brother Marcel. 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:20.080 Why? 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:22.399 Because he was the detention class guy. 00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:26.159 That's the class you go to every day after school, the bad guys go. 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.879 This I don't usually share this, but this actually happened. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:30.159 Last day of school. 00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:36.639 I'm in Brother Marcel's class and I'm in the back of the class, probably as far away from him as halfway through this section right in here. 00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:40.960 I'm in, and he's writing on the chalkboard, okay, and his back is to me. 00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:44.879 And I'm saying things about him, and the whole back of the class is laughing. 00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:47.279 Well, Brother Marcel had a hearing aid. 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:51.279 And you know, they wore the full robes and stuff, and we thought he was hard of hearing. 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:53.360 No, he wasn't hard of hearing. 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:57.120 He had the hearing aid and he had the control for it in his in his robe. 00:15:57.279 --> 00:16:03.360 So he could be with his back to the class and turn it up and hear a whisper in the back of the room. 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:05.360 Well, I did not know this. 00:16:05.600 --> 00:16:07.759 And so he he's right, so here's what happened. 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.639 He's writing on the blackboard, he hears me, okay? 00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:12.799 He and he doesn't not like me, okay? 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:16.240 He he slams his chalk down, and I'll do it in slow motion. 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:17.039 Here's what he did. 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:30.639 He turned around, he grabbed the eraser off the off the uh board there, and he turned around and he spotted me and he went right between my eyes, nailed me right between my eyes, chalk in my eyes. 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:37.519 He came down the aisle, grabbed me by the hair, took me out in the hallway, and beat me up, and and and he drew blood. 00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:40.799 And they went into the principal's office, and that's the day they kicked me out of school. 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:47.440 They kicked me out of school mostly for behavioral reasons, but academically I had four F's and a D. 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:50.240 Yeah, you laughed. 00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:51.919 The D was in religion. 00:16:52.720 --> 00:17:00.960 So, anyway, I kicked out of, and then that's when I went to the public school system for the very first time, and that's where I met my wife, Cindy. 00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:04.720 She was like my blonde, blue-eyed Sandra D. 00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:12.799 I mean, some of you are old enough to remember old Sandra D, you know, and she was the first person in the history of my family that was an Italian, germ background. 00:17:12.880 --> 00:17:14.880 You did you guys ever see my Big Fat Greek wedding? 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:16.799 Okay, well, you met my family, okay? 00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:17.920 That was kind of like that. 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:21.599 So I met her and her family and my family very different. 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:27.359 Her family, my family, yelling and screaming all the time, very demonstrative, you know. 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.720 Yeah, and we don't mean anything by it, but that's just the way we grew up, you know? 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:37.759 Her family, soft, loving, huggy, sickening to God of me. 00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:39.599 I I didn't understand it. 00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.559 So, so what happened is we started dating right out of high school. 00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.400 We were like 15, 16 years old. 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:49.359 We got married right out of high school, like we were like 19 years old, got married. 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:51.119 But here's what happened. 00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:56.559 Very early in our relationship, now listen carefully because I'm gonna describe some relationships maybe that are right here. 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:04.720 Very early on in our relationship, a winner, psychologists would say a winner-loser pattern began to happen. 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:13.200 A winner-loser pattern happens when one person's personality in the relationship suffocates the personality of the other person. 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:15.920 And as kids, we didn't recognize that this was going on. 00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:26.079 I was this domineering, overbearing, insecure, prideful young guy that was suffocating her, and she was being way too submissive, and we didn't understand it. 00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:36.000 So when we got married, I was just starting in the business world, and I was living my life, and she was living her life, and so this pattern was going on. 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:39.440 Neither one of us knew anything about a personal relationship with Jesus. 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:43.359 She grew up in the Lutheran church, I grew up in the Catholic church. 00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:47.920 We got married in the Catholic Church to save faith and my family, but never went back to church again. 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:56.240 Father O'Reilly, remember, he would call O'Rion or O'Rion would call every Saturday night and say, Hey, uh Cindy, is Vince coming to church tomorrow? 00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:00.160 Well, I don't know, I never didn't want to go back to go back to church. 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:05.839 So I had surrounded myself with all the wrong role models. 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:14.400 People who taught me how to go out, drink, do drugs, lie, cheat, steal, womanizing. 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:24.640 I mean, you would not want me, trust me, to go into the details, but I did all of those things in my secret life, and I hung with people who did, and I was their king. 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:28.400 I also had an Uncle Louie. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:34.799 My Uncle Louis was busted by Ed Meese personally when he was attorney general under Ronald Reagan. 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:36.640 They all knew who Uncle Louie was. 00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:40.799 In fact, if you want, when you go home today, Google Louis the Couch. 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:42.559 That's my Uncle Louie. 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:45.119 Funny story how he got named Louis the Couch. 00:19:45.279 --> 00:19:50.480 He's a hitman, and he would do his work at night and come home and he'd be in his apartment, and they had his apartment. 00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:57.279 The FBI bugged his apartment, so he'd be in the apartment, and the best I could tell, he's lying on the couch watching soap operas. 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:01.359 And in the middle of the day, he's watching soap operas, and they can hear him. 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:02.480 He's crying. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:05.680 Why did you marry that bum, you idiot? 00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:08.559 And then the FBI would they named him Louis the Couch. 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:09.680 That's how he got his nickname. 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:10.799 That's my uncle. 00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:12.559 So I'm like 19 years old. 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:17.359 My uncle is on trial for 26 accounts of hits. 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:20.480 I'm in the back watching the proceedings. 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:26.880 But the prosecutor comes in and asks the judge to dismiss the jury because he's about to make an announcement the jury's not allowed to hear. 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:28.880 We didn't know what was happening. 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:39.119 The prosecutor says, Your Honor, the star witness against Lou, along with his wife, were shotgunned to death in their hotel room in Las Vegas last night. 00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:40.559 We have no case. 00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:42.640 I'm the guy going, Yes. 00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.200 That's where I came from. 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:47.759 That's where I almost went. 00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:53.920 I titled this message overwhelmed by the Grace of God, and some of you know what I mean by this, but it weren't for the grace of God, guys. 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:55.440 I'm gonna tell you something, I wouldn't be here. 00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:57.839 And many of you have stories that are like that. 00:20:58.160 --> 00:21:00.799 So I'm living my life, she's living her life. 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:02.799 Okay, and so we're going on and on. 00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:21.839 And so one day her brother Ted, who who was a Lutheran pastor, uh later, but in during this time, he was like kind of a flower child hippie guy, and uh, you know, he was doing drugs and selling them on campus, and uh he he he got thrown into Beverly Hills jail, which by the way is not a bad jail to be in if you're gonna be in jail. 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:23.759 So his mother called me in to go bail him out. 00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:25.359 So we went down, bailed old Ted out. 00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:30.880 He and his mother threatened him if you don't go to this campus crusade for Christ meeting, then I'm not gonna help you anymore. 00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:34.640 And he he didn't want to go, you know, but but he he finally decided to go. 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:37.200 So he comes Monday morning, he's knocking on our door. 00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:42.480 I see him out the window, you know, and he looked horrible, like he'd been crying all weekend, you know. 00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:45.200 And Cindy answers the door and said, Ted, what happened to you? 00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:47.200 He said, Cindy, you're not gonna believe it. 00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:53.200 I accepted Jesus as my savior, and I can't wait to go back to school and tell all my friends they don't need their drugs anymore. 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:54.720 And he's going on and on and on. 00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:56.640 And Cindy was searching, I wasn't. 00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.119 And so he said, Cindy, I'm gonna come back tomorrow. 00:21:59.279 --> 00:21:59.680 He goes over. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:07.920 Dusts off his Bible, comes back, and the next day he leads my wife to the Lord, which really ticked me off. 00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:09.599 Okay, so he leads her to the Lord. 00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:11.279 She comes and tells me, Guess what? 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:12.880 I'm a born-again Christian now. 00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:16.000 I said, Huh! Get away from me. 00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:20.400 We used to call them Jesus freaks or RN's religious nuts. 00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:28.480 My buddies and I would get drugs and alcohol and watch Christian television, you know, with all the people with the buffoon hair dudes and stuff, and we'd get high and laugh at them, you know. 00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:30.400 So that was our life. 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:33.440 She was smart enough not to try to push it on me. 00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:34.960 She left me alone. 00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:38.480 She went out and got 950 million people praying for me. 00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:40.640 I didn't have a chance, and I didn't know it. 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:43.279 So, anyway, so she's living her life and I'm living my life. 00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:48.720 So I'm watching her one day, and it's like, wow, she's got a bounce in her step. 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:51.440 She seems happy and full of joy, you know? 00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:52.720 And that really annoyed me. 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:54.799 And I'm thinking, you know, why is she so happy? 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:57.680 So one day I decided out of curiosity to go with her. 00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:01.680 She was attending a meeting, which was a safe place because it wasn't a church. 00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:08.480 The meeting took place at an old converted sorority house off the UCLA campus in Westwood, California. 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:11.680 It was called the Light and Power House. 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:16.319 And every Wednesday night, a young man by the name of Hal Lindsay would speak there. 00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:20.400 And I'd never heard of this man, so he had just written The Late Great Planet Earth. 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:22.079 Some of you maybe remember this first book. 00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:23.119 So I went down there. 00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:27.680 We were packed in like sardines, man, young people all over the place hanging out the windows. 00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:30.079 And so this guy comes out, Mike Bartel. 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:32.319 He's our dear friend, lived in Temecula. 00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:49.759 Mike comes out, and he's this big, tall, strapping guy, ex-army ranger, ex-assassin who used to go behind the enemy lines in Vietnam, take out his target, come back again, ex-mafia, ex-motorcycle gang leader. 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:56.559 Okay, he came out and gave his testimony, totally blew my stereotype of what a Christian was. 00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:59.359 I mean, I certainly wasn't going to call him a Jesus freak, you know? 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:03.039 And so he tells his story, and then Hal Lindsay comes out. 00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:07.680 And some of you know his background, ex-tugboat captain, captain, big womanizer. 00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:11.839 I mean, he was really living a seedy life, and he gives his testimony. 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:13.599 And I'm going, wow. 00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:16.319 And then he opens up the Bible. 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:23.359 Now, guys, when I was going to church in the Catholic Church, and the priests spoke out of the Bible, they didn't even speak in English. 00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:25.759 It was either Italian or it was Latin. 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:28.000 We didn't know what they were even talking about. 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:35.039 And he's reading out of the Bible and he's making it contemporary, and I'm thinking, wow, this stuff works in life today? 00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:35.920 Yes. 00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:40.799 So I went there for three or four months, okay, and I kept getting fed by him. 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:45.440 And then one day on my way home, I decided it was a beautiful, clear day. 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:48.400 Um I'm on my way home, and I decided that you know what? 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:49.839 I'm gonna I'm gonna surrender. 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:51.279 I'm gonna give my heart to Jesus. 00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:59.279 They taught me how to say the sinner's prayer, and I said, Lord, if the if you're real, I'm still kind of hedging my bet, but if you're real, I want what these people have. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:02.799 And I meant it, and I got home and I shared it with Cindy. 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.920 And Cindy was ecstatic. 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:08.960 Now, guys, please hear me. 00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:18.480 If you don't, if you don't drill down on anything else I say today, you need to really pay attention right now, because unfortunately, I'm going to describe a lot of people who are in this auditorium. 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:31.759 When we share our testimony together, it's at this point that Cindy would take over and say, the next eight years after I said the prayer would become a living nightmare. 00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:33.519 And here's why. 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:40.799 I accepted Jesus as my Savior, not my Lord. 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:43.839 And there is a big difference. 00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:47.279 He wouldn't become Lord of my life for eight more years. 00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:52.480 Here's the, you know, depending upon your theology, maybe I had heaven insurance. 00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:53.599 I don't know. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:57.519 But here's what I want to tell you guys: there are two gods, not one. 00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:01.359 Over here is a God that we want. 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:05.200 Over here is the God who is. 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.119 They are not the same God. 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:12.960 You pursue this God at your peril. 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:16.480 This is the God who says, Hey, I'll help you if you help yourself. 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:18.480 You'll make it if you're a good person. 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:25.119 You can change that Bible verse and make it say anything your little heart desires to suit your unique lifestyle. 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.160 You pursue this God at your peril. 00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:30.880 The God who is, listen guys, he's real. 00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:35.920 He lives in heaven and he has an opinion. 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:40.960 And guess whose opinion don't count? 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:44.720 We don't like that, do we? 00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:50.000 I pursued this guy because he agreed with everything I wanted to do. 00:26:51.359 --> 00:26:59.039 I won't tell you all the gory details of my life at that time, but I was in the business world, a hot shot, traveling all over the United States. 00:26:59.279 --> 00:27:02.079 I'm in a hotel room in Dallas, Texas, eight years later. 00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:03.839 I call home, which is my custom. 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:05.839 Cindy's on the phone and she's crying. 00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:07.440 And I said, What's wrong with you? 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:15.759 And she proceeds to tell me that while I was gone in the two days prior, she discovered something about my life that she didn't know. 00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:19.519 Someone once said, There's no such thing as a secret. 00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:21.119 Let me say that again. 00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:24.960 There ain't no such thing, guys, as a secret. 00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:26.480 First of all, God knows. 00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:30.880 But how many of you discovered there's a way in which everybody else ultimately comes to find out, too? 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:35.519 She found out every dirty lie of my life. 00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:38.559 And I was 2,000 miles away sovereignly. 00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:40.720 I believe God had me 2,000 miles away. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:41.119 Why? 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:47.440 So that I couldn't be there in person to try to control and manipulate this situation and make it come out to my benefit. 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:48.799 I'd never been so scared. 00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:51.119 I cried myself to sleep that night and I kept calling home. 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:52.079 I said, What are you gonna do? 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:52.880