SPEAKER_01: I love you so much.
SPEAKER_01: You have no idea how precious you are to be.
SPEAKER_01: If you could only see you through my eyes, you will be.
SPEAKER_01: I love you so much.
SPEAKER_01: The things that you can do are good for you.
SPEAKER_01: I've got a better way.
SPEAKER_00: At The Road, our vision is to raise up wholehearted disciples of Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00: For more information on the road, visit theroad.org.
SPEAKER_00: We hope you are encouraged by today's message.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, uh, listen, for those of you who are new uh this morning, I need to tell you I am not Steve Holt.
SPEAKER_01: Um I uh I Steve has uh given me the honor of bringing the last message of the year, and I'm really thrilled to do that.
SPEAKER_01: But Steve, if if you were wanting to hear Steve this morning, he wanted me to let you know that he will be available up front after the service, and he has another sermon just for you, uh, in case you're here to meet with him.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, for many, many years, as many of you know, I've been involved with a lot of different churches in my career.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I'm I'm not saying this just because I've been asked to serve here at the road, but I what I'm about to share is really, really uh important for you to understand.
SPEAKER_01: I what God is doing here is something that I have not seen in almost 40, 45 years of ministry.
SPEAKER_01: There's something, how many of you are sensing that those of us who are part of the road, how many of you are sensing there's something unique going on here uh in our church, and subsequently, I believe in our city.
SPEAKER_01: And it is such an honor to be a part of that.
SPEAKER_01: But all through my years of ministry, we've been dealing primarily with men, but also my wife, Cindy, and I have been dealing with a lot of couples, and by the way, we're looking at uh Valentine's Weekend, I believe we're still looking at that, where Steve and Liz and Cindy and I are going to bring a couples event to our church.
SPEAKER_01: It'll be open to the city, and we'll be doing something here on Valentine's Weekend.
SPEAKER_01: But it's been an honor to teach men and couples, but what we've discovered throughout the years is that there are four main barriers to our being able to live out the life that God intended for each and every one of us, especially true in our marriages as well.
SPEAKER_01: And those four barriers are inability to deal effectively with letting go of our past.
SPEAKER_01: And what better time to talk about that than on the last Sunday of this year as we go into 2019?
SPEAKER_01: Now, the four the four barriers, here they are fear, anger, unforgiveness, and guilt.
SPEAKER_01: And we discovered this many, many years ago as we were trying to unpack how men can become all that God intended.
SPEAKER_01: We began to discover that we're oftentimes hamstrung by our inability to deal with these four barriers.
SPEAKER_01: So, what has happened is that I've been observing what is happening with Pastor Steve in the whole Worshiper Warrior series.
SPEAKER_01: I talked to Steve last week, and I and my thought was that this message is right in line with Worshiper Warrior.
SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna keep the same theme and we're gonna take some peeks into the life of David, because there's no better character in the Bible to study when it comes to how to effectively deal with these four areas.
SPEAKER_01: And you'll get little glimpses of that as we as we work through this.
SPEAKER_01: But in the weeks to come, Steve is gonna unpack that in a much more deep way as he continues with the Worshiper Warrior series.
SPEAKER_01: Have you guys been really enjoying this series?
SPEAKER_01: Have you been really it's really an incredible series.
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_01: So I want to start though with fear.
SPEAKER_01: And by the way, you'll see a progression of these four things happening in your in our own lives.
SPEAKER_01: But fear is the underlying problem for all of man.
SPEAKER_01: Where did it come from?
SPEAKER_01: Where did fear enter?
SPEAKER_01: Well, it entered in the garden.
SPEAKER_01: You know, you Adam and Eve had it made, did they not?
SPEAKER_01: They walked and talked with God.
SPEAKER_01: They had an abundance and variety of food.
SPEAKER_01: They named all of the animals.
SPEAKER_01: They didn't have any in-laws.
SPEAKER_01: And the Bible says they were naked.
SPEAKER_01: By the way, I I took up the I took it upon myself to look up the original translation of the word naked because I thought you guys might want to know it.
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what that word naked translates into?
SPEAKER_01: Naked.
SPEAKER_01: I just thought you should know that.
SPEAKER_01: Well, now naked doesn't mean without clothing, by the way.
SPEAKER_01: They had no clothing.
SPEAKER_01: There was no context for them to think, oh my gosh, I don't have a three-piece suit.
SPEAKER_01: That wasn't what was being communicated there.
SPEAKER_01: Naked means that they were no longer, listen, covered.
SPEAKER_01: Before the fall, God was all they needed.
SPEAKER_01: And by the way, how many of you know today God is all we need?
SPEAKER_01: Because we are naked still.
SPEAKER_01: And all that meant was that they felt uncovered.
SPEAKER_01: So from the time they put that first fig leaf on, we have all been looking for ways to cover up.
SPEAKER_01: And fear and insecurity is what happens when we don't find a comfortable place to be where we can feel safe and we can still feel covered.
SPEAKER_01: So fear is a very natural thing that happens to us.
SPEAKER_01: And with men and women, we have different fears.
SPEAKER_01: We'll unpack this when we do our couples' event.
SPEAKER_01: But going all the way back to the curse in the garden, the curse put upon man and put upon woman, where a man was going to have to work and toil to produce fruit, and a woman was going to have to labor in childbearing, and she would desire her husband, and her husband would be the covering over her.
SPEAKER_01: As a result of those things that happened, a woman's greatest fear is abandonment.
SPEAKER_01: A man's greatest fear is failure.
SPEAKER_01: So we have different fears and needs, all going all the way back to Genesis in the garden.
SPEAKER_01: Again, we'll unpack that more when we get into our couple stuff.
SPEAKER_01: Philippians 4, 6 says this do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.
SPEAKER_01: There is no need for us to be anxious, providing we present our request to God.
SPEAKER_01: And we'll see more about how this works as we move through this.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon was the son of David, of course.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon didn't do too well.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he had a lot of failures, but he did learn some things from his daddy.
SPEAKER_01: And one of them, I think, is found at the end of Ecclesiastes.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon, as you know, wrote the whole book of Ecclesiastes whining.
SPEAKER_01: He was a pretty good whiner.
SPEAKER_01: I tell people it's too bad I wasn't around then because I could have probably taught him how to be a better whiner, you know.
SPEAKER_01: I consider myself a professional.
SPEAKER_01: Any whiners here?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's a few of you.
SPEAKER_01: Uh anyway, at the end of all of the whining, I'm paraphrasing now, what Solomon says at the very end of the book of Ecclesiastes is it's not that I've done all this whining and complaining, and I talked about the futility of life.
SPEAKER_01: Really, what it all boils down to is this.
SPEAKER_01: If you read at the very end, the last chapter, last three or four verses, this is what he says.
SPEAKER_01: And I believe he got this from his dad.
SPEAKER_01: Fear God and obey his commands.
SPEAKER_01: He goes on to say this this, these two, is the whole duty of man.
SPEAKER_01: Guys, I want to tell you something.
SPEAKER_01: That's probably one of the most profound things mentioned in the entire Bible.
SPEAKER_01: Fear God, by the way, doesn't mean cower in a corner and be afraid of God.
SPEAKER_01: In this context, what he's talking about is to be in awe of God, to revere God.
SPEAKER_01: And he did this, he got this from his dad.
SPEAKER_01: David knew that the only way he could overcome fear in his own life was to really revere God.
SPEAKER_01: That is the key.
SPEAKER_01: And then to obey his commands.
SPEAKER_01: Solomon got this.
SPEAKER_01: David feared the Lord before anyone else.
SPEAKER_01: Psalm 27.
SPEAKER_01: The Lord is my light and my salvation, he says.
SPEAKER_01: Whom shall I fear?
SPEAKER_01: The Lord is the strength of my life.
SPEAKER_01: Of whom shall I be afraid?
SPEAKER_01: David got it.
SPEAKER_01: But now here's the problem with fear.
SPEAKER_01: And again, we can't delve into these as deeply as I'd like to in the abbreviated time we have, but fear, if it's not dealt with, almost immediately turns into anger.
SPEAKER_01: Anger, many psychologists will tell us that anger really is nothing more than a mask for fear.
SPEAKER_01: If you study a person who's angry, you'll usually discover at some root level there's some kind of fear or insecurity that is not being dealt with.
SPEAKER_01: But when we when we experience fear, here's what happens.
SPEAKER_01: I believe, by the way, that fear, that anger is our built-in mechanism to deal with fear.
SPEAKER_01: Anger, listen, properly managed is the key to freedom from fear.
SPEAKER_01: But here's what's happening with anger.
SPEAKER_01: There are three ways that we can deal with anger, and you're going to recognize this in yourselves.
SPEAKER_01: We can internalize it inside, we can vent it, which hurts other people, or we can do the right thing and control it.
SPEAKER_01: Let's go through those very quickly.
SPEAKER_01: Internalizing, and what does that mean?
SPEAKER_01: Years ago, I remember I was on the beach with a bunch of buddies, you know, in Southern California, and we were out there on the beach and having a party, and uh my buddy asked me to get him a beer.
SPEAKER_01: So I went over to the cooler, you know, and I got this bottle of beer, and while nobody was looking, I shook it up really good, you know.
SPEAKER_01: I I mean I really, really shook it up with and and so I gave it to my buddy, you know.
SPEAKER_01: He used to be my buddy.
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, I gave it to him, and and so and so I was standing there watching, and then now listen, listen, guys, from the outside, that beer bottle looked normal.
SPEAKER_01: Come on, you getting this?
SPEAKER_01: But as soon as he opened it, it was it was really funny, by the way, it got up in his nose and everything.
SPEAKER_01: As soon as he opened it, the pressure that was unseen and had built up in a it escaped in inappropriate ways.
SPEAKER_01: How many times have we recognized that happening in our own life?
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we don't even know it's in there, and all of a sudden something happens and it pops open and it escapes in inappropriate ways.
SPEAKER_01: Well, there are symptoms of internalized anger, and some of them are physiological.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, some people uh they grind their teeth at night.
SPEAKER_01: You can emotionally withdrawn, you can keep on reliving something that's happened in your life.
SPEAKER_01: Uh you can mentally be preoccupied with stuff, procrastination.
SPEAKER_01: It's it's hard to be angry and still love God.
SPEAKER_01: Uh in Proverbs 22, 24, 25, it says, do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
SPEAKER_01: We actually can become like the people that are the focus of our anger.
SPEAKER_01: I remember there was a guy I worked with in the business world many years ago.
SPEAKER_01: Uh I won't call use his real name, call him Bob.
SPEAKER_01: I didn't like Bob.
SPEAKER_01: In fact, I hated Bob.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not proud of this.
SPEAKER_01: I really wasn't a believer back then, but I didn't like this, couldn't stand him.
SPEAKER_01: And I always thought I was better than Bob.
SPEAKER_01: The fact of the matter is, I wasn't, but I thought I was, and he was a bully, and um, and in fact, I I, you know, I physiologically I was living out my anger toward Bob.
SPEAKER_01: In fact, I'd come home and Cindy would say, Well, what did Bob do today?
SPEAKER_01: You know, he just knew I was gonna have some complaint, you know.
SPEAKER_01: And if he didn't do anything, I just made stuff up anyway.
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't stand him.
SPEAKER_01: And so uh one night uh she she pokes me and wakes me, and she goes, Wake up, you're making these funny noises.
SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I wasn't snoring.
SPEAKER_01: She figured out how to take care of my snoring, by the way.
SPEAKER_01: She bought a set of earplugs.
SPEAKER_01: Now every time I snore, she shoves them up my nose, you know.
SPEAKER_01: But I wasn't snoring.
SPEAKER_01: I was grinding my teeth, okay?
SPEAKER_01: And and I didn't know I was doing it.
SPEAKER_01: And so it was all about this guy, Bob.
SPEAKER_01: And one day I went to a buddy of mine and I was complaining about him in the hallway.
SPEAKER_01: And and he says, Hey, you know what, Dacyoli?
SPEAKER_01: I'm sick and tired of hearing you complain about Bob.
SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah, why?
SPEAKER_01: He says, Because everything you're telling me that he does, I see you do the exact same thing.
SPEAKER_01: Whoa.
SPEAKER_01: And I stopped and I took stock.
SPEAKER_01: It's like David and Nathan.
SPEAKER_01: Come on, you guys know the story.
SPEAKER_01: And Nathan's saying to David, by the way, here's the story, David.
SPEAKER_01: David says, Well, who is that?
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's you, David.
SPEAKER_01: By the way, on the heels of that, what did David do?
SPEAKER_01: He repented.
SPEAKER_01: We'll get to that in a minute.
SPEAKER_01: But it just blew me away.
SPEAKER_01: You become like the people you focus on.
SPEAKER_01: That can be in a good way or it can be in a negative way.
SPEAKER_01: When we vent, what happens?
SPEAKER_01: Very bad.
SPEAKER_01: I grew up in an Italian family.
SPEAKER_01: We vent all the time.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, everybody's yelling and screaming and benting and stuff.
SPEAKER_01: It's just unbelievable.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs, though, 29-22 says, an angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.
SPEAKER_01: In Proverbs 14, 17, a quick-tempered man does foolish things and a crafty man is hated.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 15, 18 says this a hot-tempered man stirs up dissension.
SPEAKER_01: But a patient man calms a quarrel.
SPEAKER_01: How many times have you seen that?
SPEAKER_01: What patience can do in an otherwise tough situation?
SPEAKER_01: Ecclesiastes 7 9.
SPEAKER_01: Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, for anger, it says resides in the laps of fools.
SPEAKER_01: But Proverbs 18 21 says it best the tongue has the power of life and death.
SPEAKER_01: Guys, there are some of you in the sound of my voice right now that are that are hurting perhaps from words that were spoken into your lives when you were little boys or little girls.
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it was words that were spoken to you on the way to church this morning.
SPEAKER_01: Words hurt.
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I don't think we're very mindful of that when we're dealing with other people.
SPEAKER_01: What should we do?
SPEAKER_01: It says to control, to manage our anger.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 2911 said, a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man, listen, keeps himself under control.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 16, 32.
SPEAKER_01: Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
SPEAKER_01: Many years ago, my my daughters, uh my younger daughter, Kristen's here this morning, but my older daughter lives in California.
SPEAKER_01: Uh Kim was around 15 years old when this happened.
SPEAKER_01: There was a young man, Christian young man from a good Christian family, who asked if he could take my daughters to a movie, a drive-in movie.
SPEAKER_01: They had drive-in movies back then.
SPEAKER_01: We don't have, you know, in fact, I wish we had drive-ins again.
SPEAKER_01: I think those were fun, but we trusted this young man, strong Christian family, trusted him to take our daughter to the drive-in.
SPEAKER_01: So off they went to the drive-in.
SPEAKER_01: And the movies back then were not nearly as bad as the ones today, but there were still some movies that would not have been movies that I would approve of.
SPEAKER_01: But we trusted this boy.
SPEAKER_01: He took them to the movie, came back, dropped off the girls, and left.
SPEAKER_01: And and so my daughter Kim was the first one in.
SPEAKER_01: I said, Hey, did you have fun?
SPEAKER_01: She said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: I said, What movie did you see?
SPEAKER_01: And she told me the name of the movie.
SPEAKER_01: Well, that movie was not on my hit list, but now the boy was.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Kim, you go to the phone right now, you call that young man.
SPEAKER_01: I want him back here tonight.
SPEAKER_01: Do you understand me?
SPEAKER_01: Just like that.
SPEAKER_01: And she said, No, Dad, it's okay.
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't that bad.
SPEAKER_01: I said, No, Kim, you go get that boy now.
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Somebody, quick, go get mom, you know.
SPEAKER_01: And so Cindy comes out and she said, What are you doing?
SPEAKER_01: And I told her what happened, and then she I and so I said, Well, what do you expect me to do?
SPEAKER_01: So here's what Cindy told me.
SPEAKER_01: I expect you to go into your bedroom, shut the door, and read your own sermon notes.
SPEAKER_01: That's not what you want to hear when you want the boy.
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
SPEAKER_01: They wouldn't, they defied me.
SPEAKER_01: That made me even more angry.
SPEAKER_01: They wouldn't call the boy, they didn't try to get him over here.
SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
SPEAKER_01: So a day went by, still nothing.
SPEAKER_01: Another day went by.
SPEAKER_01: Third day.
SPEAKER_01: You know what I did?
SPEAKER_01: I actually went in my bedroom, shut the door, and read my own notes.
SPEAKER_01: At that time, Cindy and I were conducting marriage classes, you know, and one of the most attended series we did in our marriage class was a series on anger.
SPEAKER_01: So I went and I read my notes, and I came back and I apologized to everybody.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_01: So Kim comes to me next day and he says, Hey, hey dad, remember that boy?
SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Well, he would like to know if he can come over tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01: And Susie across the street's having a party.
SPEAKER_01: And he wants to know if he could just escort us across the street to the party.
SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna go anywhere else, just across the street.
SPEAKER_01: He wants to know if he could come.
SPEAKER_01: I said, sure, he can come.
SPEAKER_01: As long as he comes 15 minutes early, because I'd like to talk to him.
SPEAKER_01: But by this time, you know, it was all over the school and everything.
SPEAKER_01: Mr.
SPEAKER_01: Dacula's gonna talk to this kid, you know.
SPEAKER_01: So he comes.
SPEAKER_01: He didn't come.
SPEAKER_01: I asked him half an hour early.
SPEAKER_01: He came 15 minutes early.
SPEAKER_01: He was late for the meeting.
SPEAKER_01: But we sat in the front of our house, leaning up against my car, and I had a conversation, listen, with that young boy, that I would have never had with him had I got him that first day.
SPEAKER_01: And and what what happened?
SPEAKER_01: God stepped in.
SPEAKER_01: I was able to explain to him why I felt the way I did, how we raised our girls.
SPEAKER_01: It was a teachable moment.
SPEAKER_01: It was a teachable moment for me too.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, the Bible says in Ephesians 4.26, in your anger do not sin.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to me, please hear me.
SPEAKER_01: That is not a license for you to go grab the other person before the sun goes down.
SPEAKER_01: Are you hearing me?
SPEAKER_01: What is that verse saying?
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: You deal with your anger before the sun goes down.
SPEAKER_01: It has nothing to do with the other person.
SPEAKER_01: That's the only way that we're gonna get out of this.
SPEAKER_01: David in Psalm 10, and if you read all of Psalm 10, um, he was angry about a lot of things, but in this case, at the injustice that was going on, he's why do you stand afar off, Lord?
SPEAKER_01: Oh Lord, he says, Why do you hide in times of trouble?
SPEAKER_01: The wicked in his pride persecutes the poor.
SPEAKER_01: Let them be caught in the plot which they have devised.
SPEAKER_01: He didn't go after the people, he went to God.
SPEAKER_01: If you read all of that, you'll really get to know David's heart when it came to dealing with anger.
SPEAKER_01: The third area is a big one: unforgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: Unforgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: And and this is huge because we all harbor so much unforgiveness sometimes.
SPEAKER_01: It could be a wrong done by a parent or loved one or a boss or co-worker has mistreated you.
SPEAKER_01: You've been passed up for that promotion, you've been bruised by some verbal assault.
SPEAKER_01: I believe the number one cause of undealt with anger is this area of unforgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: Gordon McDonald, in his book Restoring Your Spiritual Passion, which is a great book, by the way, Gordon McDonald says this spiritual passion, which we all would like to have, cannot coexist with resentments.
SPEAKER_01: Harboring resentment hinders spiritual growth and effectiveness.
SPEAKER_01: And then in Matthew 5, 23 and 24, we all familiar with this passage.
SPEAKER_01: If you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, or by extension, the other way, leave your gift there, God is saying, in front of the altar, and first go in what?
SPEAKER_01: Be reconciled to your brother.
SPEAKER_01: Then come and offer your gift to me.
SPEAKER_01: What is God saying?
SPEAKER_01: God's saying, listen, guys, you you've got to have reconciliation in your life.
SPEAKER_01: You've got to deal with this before you come to me.
SPEAKER_01: If you don't, it's gonna hinder our relationship.
SPEAKER_01: And this is unforgiveness has to flow through us naturally, all of the time.
SPEAKER_01: Luke 6.37 says, forgive.
SPEAKER_01: The word translated there is apoluo.
SPEAKER_01: It literally means to loose away, forgive, and what's the promise?
SPEAKER_01: And you will be forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: Look what David does.
SPEAKER_01: This is a setup uh before the first Samuel 24, 10 to 12.
SPEAKER_01: When the king was incessantly pursued like a hunted animal by irate King Saul, the shepherd turned soldier, had both motive and opportunity to annihilate his enemy.
SPEAKER_01: Yet when David refused to retaliate, he spoke these words to Saul, and here they are.
SPEAKER_01: Look, this day your eyes have seen that the Lord delivered you today into my hand in the cave, and someone urged me to kill you, but my eyes spared you, and I said, I will not stretch out my hand against my Lord, for he is the Lord's anointed.
SPEAKER_01: Moreover, my father, see, yes, see the corner of your robe in my hand.
SPEAKER_01: For in that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, know and see that there is neither evil nor rebellion in my hand, and I have not sinned against you, yet you hunt my life to take it.
SPEAKER_01: Let the Lord judge between you and me, and let the Lord avenge me on you.
SPEAKER_01: But my hand shall not be against you.
SPEAKER_01: David had this amazing capacity to understand the importance of just letting it go.
SPEAKER_01: Even though though he thought maybe in human terms that he deserved to be able to take that action, he let it go.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, now, how do you become a forgiving person?
SPEAKER_01: Well, the first thing that you have to do, and what I encourage you, maybe even today, is to ask God to show you where you may be unforgiving.
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it can be that pent-up stuff you don't even know is in there.
SPEAKER_01: I remember when my dad died, I really had a hard time with that.
SPEAKER_01: I went out in the desert with my Bible and I just cried the whole day, and I said, Lord, help me flush out some things that are in me I may not even know are in there.
SPEAKER_01: And he did.
SPEAKER_01: As I went before him and he began to surface some things of unforgiveness and different things that were in my heart that I didn't even know existed.
SPEAKER_01: But God will do that if you're faithful.
SPEAKER_01: But the next thing is you need to understand the nature of forgiveness what it is and what it is not.
SPEAKER_01: Of all forgiveness is not natural.
SPEAKER_01: If you wait till you feel like forgiving someone, guess what?
SPEAKER_01: You probably will never do it.
SPEAKER_01: That's why Peter says to Jesus, How many times should I should I forgive?
SPEAKER_01: Seven?
SPEAKER_01: What does Jesus say?
SPEAKER_01: No, no, Peter, not seven, seventy times seven, or depending upon your translation, there are other ways of saying that.
SPEAKER_01: But that was not Jesus saying, Peter, go get a leather belt and make notches in it until you hit the formula.
SPEAKER_01: What Jesus is saying is forgiveness needs to flow through us, it needs to become part of our life.
SPEAKER_01: It has to be a lifestyle of forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: But the second thing you need to understand it is also not an option.
SPEAKER_01: It is not an option, guys.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Corinthians 5.18.
SPEAKER_01: All this is from God who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us what?
SPEAKER_01: The ministry of reconciliation.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 19:11 says this.
SPEAKER_01: I love this verse, and we often don't understand what this verse is saying.
SPEAKER_01: It says, A man's wisdom gives him patience.
SPEAKER_01: It is to his glory to overlook an offense.
SPEAKER_01: What?
SPEAKER_01: Overlook an offense?
SPEAKER_01: Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01: Get a lawyer.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's the first thing we want to do.
SPEAKER_01: Get a lawyer.
SPEAKER_01: I've got to be careful here because I usually at this point go into some lawyer jokes, and I don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_01: You've already heard them.
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, but but that's what that's the way we do.
SPEAKER_01: We're always defensive.
SPEAKER_01: The word overlook there is translated abar, a b-a-r.
SPEAKER_01: And what that word is saying is literally this learn to move beyond.
SPEAKER_01: It means, listen, Christian, learn to become unoffendable.
SPEAKER_01: Is that hard?
SPEAKER_01: You bet that's hard.
SPEAKER_01: But that's what God is calling us to do.
SPEAKER_01: And the only way we can do that is by understanding how to let all this stuff go.
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
SPEAKER_01: He who can George Herbert says, he who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
SPEAKER_01: And in 1 John 2.11 it says, But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness, does not know where he's going.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because the darkness has blinded him.
SPEAKER_01: If there was ever a relationship between being unforgiving and hating someone and literally not being able to see God's vision or direction for your life, there it is.
SPEAKER_01: It's right there.
SPEAKER_01: If you wonder why, God, are you not revealing to me the new thing that you're trying to bring me into?
SPEAKER_01: Could it be that we're harboring some things that we haven't let go of, guys?
SPEAKER_01: This is very, very important, especially as we go into this special new year.
SPEAKER_01: The final thing, which is oftentimes a byproduct of not dealing effectively with fear and anger and unforgiveness in the first place, is what we call guilt or shame.
SPEAKER_01: There's all kinds of ways you can put touches on this, but it could be guilt from past failures and from alcohol or sexual uh misconduct or compromising in your life, or uh maybe there are some here that are still carrying guilt and weight in your life because of past abortions or things that you've gone through that you're not able to forgive yourself about.
SPEAKER_01: There's all kinds of ways that guilt comes.
SPEAKER_01: And uh and condemnation, though, uh also is where the enemy comes in because when you're at this point in your life, you're not dealing with these things and you're realizing guilt or shame, that's where the enemy comes, is it not?
SPEAKER_01: He wants to, he wants you to live there.
SPEAKER_01: He brings condemnation.
SPEAKER_01: By the way, do you guys know the difference between condemnation and conviction?
SPEAKER_01: Come on, guys.
SPEAKER_01: Where does conviction come from?
SPEAKER_01: Where does it come from?
SPEAKER_01: The Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Where does condemnation come from?
SPEAKER_01: Well, here's the difference.
SPEAKER_01: Look at you.
SPEAKER_01: You're nothing.
SPEAKER_01: You're dirt.
SPEAKER_01: How could God ever use someone like you?
SPEAKER_01: I see what you've done.
SPEAKER_01: I know about all those habits you have, I know about all the things that you've done in your life.
SPEAKER_01: God could never use anybody like you.
SPEAKER_01: You're nothing.
SPEAKER_01: That's condemnation.
SPEAKER_01: Conviction?
SPEAKER_01: I love you so much.
SPEAKER_01: You have no idea how precious you are to me.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, if you could only see you through my eyes, you would never be the same.
SPEAKER_01: I love you so much.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, those things that you're into are not good for you.
SPEAKER_01: Come, turn, follow me.
SPEAKER_01: I've got a better way.
SPEAKER_01: Is there a difference?
SPEAKER_01: You bet there is.
SPEAKER_01: Jack Hayford has a great quote.
SPEAKER_01: He says, Condemnation cannot take root if conviction is responded to with confession.
SPEAKER_01: That's a pretty good quote.
SPEAKER_01: If I give into the conviction of the Holy Spirit and I respond with confession, which is what David was a master at, condemnation will not take root.
SPEAKER_01: Cindy and I were teaching a marriage class years ago at our church in church on the way, Jack Hafer's church, and we had a huge marriage class, and it was a big responsibility.
SPEAKER_01: So this has probably never happened to any of you guys, but on the way to church to teach the marriage class, uh, we got in this huge fight in the car on our way to church.
SPEAKER_01: And everybody's yelling at each other, everybody's pig faced, the kids in the backseat are crying, you know.
SPEAKER_01: It's just ugly, ugly, ugly.
SPEAKER_01: So I get to marriage to the marriage class, and everybody's been milling around, getting their donors and stuff, and I'm about to teach the marriage class.
SPEAKER_01: So I'm walking up and down in front of the marriage class, and I mean I'm under major, major condemnation.
SPEAKER_01: The enemy's saying, look at you, you're gonna teach these people how to be married.
SPEAKER_01: You've got to be kidding me.
SPEAKER_01: And I just know my wife's over there agreeing with them, by the way.
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm going back and forth.
SPEAKER_01: And so about that time, Katie, Phil and Katie were the worship leaders.
SPEAKER_01: So Phil comes running up to me and says, Vince, I said, What?
SPEAKER_01: He says, You need to pray for me.
SPEAKER_01: I said, What?
SPEAKER_01: He says, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: Katie and I got in this huge fight in the car here on the way to church, and I don't think I can lead worship.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I said, Phil, you need prayer?
SPEAKER_01: He said, Yes.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I suggest you get as far away from me as you possibly can.
SPEAKER_01: How many of you know when you're under condemnation, the last thing you want to do is pray for people, right?
SPEAKER_01: So he says, No, no, no, come on, you gotta pray for me.
SPEAKER_01: So he takes me into the little room in the back, and we he forces me back into the little room, and we sat down and we prayed.
SPEAKER_01: He I didn't pray, I didn't want to pray.
SPEAKER_01: He prayed.
SPEAKER_01: And so, and how many of you know if you press him with God, it'll break.
SPEAKER_01: And so it broke.
SPEAKER_01: And we went out and we got our wives, and we went into two different corners of the room, and we apologized.
SPEAKER_01: We apologized.
SPEAKER_01: But by the way, man, I highly recommend this.
SPEAKER_01: Just apologize.
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't make any difference whether you're right or wrong.
SPEAKER_01: Apologize.
SPEAKER_01: It's just really cool.
SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, we apologized, and the class was really incredible.
SPEAKER_01: So we we were able to get through that and we were okay.
SPEAKER_01: 1 John 1 9 says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from some unrighteousness.
SPEAKER_01: What?
SPEAKER_01: Oh man, I keep using this NIV, this new Italian version.
SPEAKER_01: It just keeps getting me in trouble.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, Romans 8 1 and 2 says, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
SPEAKER_01: David, you know, we were talking earlier about how physiologically things can happen in our body from not dealing with some of this stuff.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to what David said.
SPEAKER_01: David was one of those characters that owned it.
SPEAKER_01: How many of you know that sometimes in our life we need to own it?
SPEAKER_01: If we're wrong or we need to forgive someone or we need to deal with some stuff, we need to own it first.
SPEAKER_01: But what look what David says in Psalm 51, 1 and 2.
SPEAKER_01: Have mercy upon me, O God, according to your loving kindness, according to the multitude of your tender mercies.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to what he says.
SPEAKER_01: Blot out my transgressions.
SPEAKER_01: Then he says this: Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me.
SPEAKER_01: The word cleanse comes from the purifying of silver, which, by the way, have we not been talking about here in church.
SPEAKER_01: How the cleansing, the purifying fire that's coming.
SPEAKER_01: Blot out my transgression, wash me thoroughly, and cleanse me.
SPEAKER_01: He did not he did he did not want to happen to him what happened to Saul.
SPEAKER_01: He didn't want to see the Holy Spirit leave.
SPEAKER_01: He says in Psalm 51, 10, create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit with me.
SPEAKER_01: Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me.
SPEAKER_01: That was David's heart.
SPEAKER_01: Please don't take it from me.
SPEAKER_01: Now, let me summarize this by drawing your attention to my favorite character in the Bible and my life verse.
SPEAKER_01: My life verse can be found in Philippians 3, 13 and 14.
SPEAKER_01: And you might say this that if there was ever a character in the Bible that had a right to allow his past to influence his future, it would have been this man.
SPEAKER_01: His name is Paul.
SPEAKER_01: His name used to be Saul.
SPEAKER_01: Many of us have done a pretty good job of trying to be like Saul, but he was pretty bad.
SPEAKER_01: Yet he is the very man that pens these words, written, listen, from a prison cell.
SPEAKER_01: Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it, but one thing I do.
SPEAKER_01: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: Guys, that needs to be our heart cry.
SPEAKER_01: I know that's our that's our heart cry as a church.
SPEAKER_01: But the prerequisite here is forgetting what is behind, straining toward what is ahead.
SPEAKER_01: That's where the name of our ministry came from, by the way, on target ministries.
SPEAKER_01: The word there, the goal, means target, means the the thing God is calling us into.
SPEAKER_01: That's the desire of our heart.
SPEAKER_01: Now, here's kind of a way of illustrating what is happening with many of us.
SPEAKER_01: I have here a uh a 15-pound dumbbell.
SPEAKER_01: Now, I I'm sure that you realize if everywhere I went in life, if I had to physically carry this 15-pound dumbbell with me everywhere I went, I'm sure you realize I wouldn't be able to do the things physically that I normally would be able to do.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I could find a way to neutralize its impact.
SPEAKER_01: I could find a way maybe to put it in a backpack and put it on my back in a way to where it wouldn't feel quite as heavy.
SPEAKER_01: I could find a way to hide it.
SPEAKER_01: And there are a lot of us that are like that.
SPEAKER_01: The baggage that we're carrying around is kind of hidden.
SPEAKER_01: We don't know it's there, but there are some of us that are carrying it around and it's as visible as that.
SPEAKER_01: It's right there.
SPEAKER_01: You look at that person and you know they got baggage, they got some stuff that's really seriously wrong with them.
SPEAKER_01: And so what's happening here in the physical is the same thing that's happening oftentimes in the spiritual.
SPEAKER_01: I'm carrying all this baggage, this dealing with fear and a slave to fear and unforgiveness and guilt and all of those sorts of things.
SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, God wants me to be kind to someone at my church, and I can't bring myself to do it.
SPEAKER_01: I can't, I can't forgive them for what they said or what they didn't say.
SPEAKER_01: All of a sudden, God is saying, I need for you to be more intimate with me.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not sure I can have intimacy with you, Lord, because of the dysfunctional relationship I had with my earthly dad.
SPEAKER_01: It's hamstringing me, it's holding me back.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what your weight is.
SPEAKER_01: It could be a failure from the past, it could be a bunch of stuff.
SPEAKER_01: But here's what it says.
SPEAKER_01: It says in uh in John 12, 24, Jesus saying, I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains a single seed.
SPEAKER_01: But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
SPEAKER_01: And what God's calling us to do, dear ones, here's what he's calling us to do with that baggage.
SPEAKER_01: If you think that that made a loud noise, yeah, I know it disturbed one person.
SPEAKER_01: That noise pales when compared to the noise of the angels in heaven rejoicing around the throne of God, saying, Look at that, Lord.
SPEAKER_01: He's free.
SPEAKER_01: She's free.
SPEAKER_01: Hebrews 12, 1 and 2, this is important.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside, listen to every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that what you want?
SPEAKER_01: To run with endurance, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
SPEAKER_01: In the bodybuilding, there's an exercise called the bench press.
SPEAKER_01: Some of most of you are familiar with that where the athlete lays down on the bench and there's a weight on a rack, and behind the athlete is someone called a what's the spotter's job?
SPEAKER_01: When the athlete is finished with his repetitions, the spotter takes the weight and puts it back on the rack.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, a certain amount of weight combined with the right number of repetitions is good to build the body physically.
SPEAKER_01: It's good for you.
SPEAKER_01: But in the very same way, that can happen when you're carrying around the baggage from your past.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, a certain amount of that baggage, God doesn't hand.
SPEAKER_01: He'll turn it around, he'll use it for his glory, he'll build character in your life.
SPEAKER_01: But there comes a time, and maybe that time's today, when you recognize that some of that stuff you're carrying around is too heavy.
SPEAKER_01: And listen, guys, you can you can try to gut it through one more time, or you can give it to the big spotter, because there's nothing he can't take from you.
SPEAKER_01: But here's what most of us do: we got chains attached to these weights, and we're dragging them through life.
SPEAKER_01: Dragging them through life.
SPEAKER_01: And God is standing back here and he's watching us and he's saying, Whoa, Vince, when will you just let it go?
SPEAKER_01: And then maybe today is the day for you where you say, you know what, I can't do this anymore.
SPEAKER_01: I've got to let this go, and I've got to turn and go back to God.
SPEAKER_01: And I've got to go to God.
SPEAKER_01: And listen, guys, repentance, this is repentance, what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01: Repentance is a 180, not a 360.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's our typical repentance.
SPEAKER_01: I've done this so many times.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, Lord, I decided to give this stuff up.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, how are you doing, God?
SPEAKER_01: And I go right back to dragging my weights again.
SPEAKER_01: No, God is saying, You let me have them.
SPEAKER_01: What did David do?
SPEAKER_01: David was able to, listen, in Psalm 32, 3 and 4, when I kept silent, David knew that if he didn't let go, his literal bones were going to dry up.
SPEAKER_01: And medically we're finding that that does happen when we harbor this stuff.
SPEAKER_01: My bones grew old, wasted away.
SPEAKER_01: In one translation.
SPEAKER_01: Through my groaning all the day long, for day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my vitality was turned into the drought of some summer.
SPEAKER_01: And it David, when he repented, he turned and he gazed.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, he gazed into the face of God.
SPEAKER_01: He let it go and he came back here and he gazed and he says, Lord, I give this all to you.
SPEAKER_01: And this has to be something that happens to us all the time.
SPEAKER_01: Guys, we got to stay gazing into the face of God.
SPEAKER_01: That's the only way the big spotter will help you to let go of all this stuff that's been hindering you from seeing his great plan for your life.
SPEAKER_01: You need to let it go.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Corinthians 5.17.
SPEAKER_01: Listen, guys, please hear me.
SPEAKER_01: You gotta stay focused on the promises of God.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Corinthians 5.17 says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a what?
SPEAKER_01: A new creation say it again.
SPEAKER_01: You're what?
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard a butterfly referred to as a converted worm?
SPEAKER_01: Listen to me.
SPEAKER_01: You are not an alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01: You're not a recovering alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01: You're not a recovering drug addict.
SPEAKER_01: You're not a recovering anything.
SPEAKER_01: If you are in Christ, please hear me, guys.
SPEAKER_01: You are a new creation.
SPEAKER_01: What does it say?
SPEAKER_01: The old has gone.
SPEAKER_01: What's happening?
SPEAKER_01: The new has come.
SPEAKER_01: And the new is not associated with any of that garbage in your life.
SPEAKER_01: When you truly are able to do this, when you are truly able to give it to God, you are a new creation.
SPEAKER_01: The problem is many of us don't believe it.
SPEAKER_01: And this is where God wants us to be.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to this.
SPEAKER_01: Lamentation 3, 22 and 23.
SPEAKER_01: This is Jeremiah sitting on a hill.
SPEAKER_01: The context of the story is Jeremiah sitting on the hill looking over the rubble of a destroyed city.
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
SPEAKER_01: And so, and this could be you standing on a hill right now, today, looking over the rubble of what you think is a pretty ugly past life.
SPEAKER_01: But listen to what he says.
SPEAKER_01: Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: For his compassions never fail.
SPEAKER_01: They are due.
SPEAKER_01: How often, guys?
SPEAKER_01: How often?
SPEAKER_01: Every morning.
SPEAKER_01: Great is your faithfulness.
SPEAKER_01: And then the final verse is Isaiah 43, 18 through 20.
SPEAKER_01: I love this verse.
SPEAKER_01: These verses.
SPEAKER_01: Forget the former things, guys.
SPEAKER_01: That's what we're asking you to do today is to really let go and forget the former things because God wants to do something so incredible.
SPEAKER_01: Guys, listen to me.
SPEAKER_01: The church is not the people who are standing up here on the platform.
SPEAKER_01: How many of you know you are the church?
SPEAKER_01: And ultimately the ministry of the road is only as good as the hands that extend it.
SPEAKER_01: And you are those hands.
SPEAKER_01: But those hands need to be free from all the encumbrances that are holding us back in order for God's vision to be realized through our efforts.
SPEAKER_01: So forget the former things.
SPEAKER_01: Do not dwell on the past, it says.
SPEAKER_01: See, look, see, perceive it.
SPEAKER_01: I am doing a new thing.
SPEAKER_01: Now it springs up.
SPEAKER_01: Do you not perceive it?
SPEAKER_01: I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
SPEAKER_01: Final illustration, Worst Team's gonna come up, and we're gonna go into just a little bit of ministry time before we conclude today.
SPEAKER_01: But in the Philippines, uh monkey meat is a delicacy.
SPEAKER_01: And I did not know this, but apparently uh monkey meat uh is really craved there.
SPEAKER_01: But there's one monkey in particular that's really a delicacy.
SPEAKER_01: The problem with this monkey is that you can't kill it, you have to capture it alive because the meat has to be fresh.
SPEAKER_01: Well, the villagers have discovered an amazing way of trapping these monkeys.
SPEAKER_01: They go out into the forest and they gather up a bunch of coconuts.
SPEAKER_01: And on one side of the coconut, they attach a nut and a bolt at about a six-foot chain, they stake it to the ground.
SPEAKER_01: On the other side, they drill a precision hole, they know exactly what size to make this hole, and inside that hole they pour two ounces of cooked brown rice.
SPEAKER_01: They have discovered that these monkeys crave cooked brown rice.
SPEAKER_01: They leave them lying all over the forest floor and they come back hours later to discover that these monkeys came from everywhere, and they sniff out the rice and they stick their hand inside that little hole to grab the rice.
SPEAKER_01: Well, what happens with this monkey is his hand is made in such a way to where he can detach the thumb and this quadrant to the point where he can get his hand into a very, very small space.
SPEAKER_01: They're able to do that for foraging insects and trees in small spaces.
SPEAKER_01: But when the monkey puts his hand into the coconut to grab the brown rice, his joint comes back together, and now his hand is exaggeratedly large, and he can no longer remove it from the coconut.
SPEAKER_01: And what they've discovered is that no matter what, no matter what, that monkey will never let go of that brown rice.
SPEAKER_01: They literally now come and gather them up, pulling the chains from the ground, throw them, screeching and screaming, throw them in cages on trucks, and ultimately bring them to their death.
SPEAKER_01: What's your two ounces of brown rice?
SPEAKER_01: What are the things that you're hanging on to that you're perfectly capable of letting go if you if you just do it?
SPEAKER_01: That while they may not bring you to your physical death, although in some cases that may be possible, but worse, spiritual death, spiritual stagnation.
SPEAKER_01: Dear ones, please hear me.
SPEAKER_01: Don't leave here today, going to this new season, taking any of this up.
SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Road.
SPEAKER_00: We hope you have been blessed by today's message.
SPEAKER_00: To connect with us further, visit theroad.org.
SPEAKER_00: If you are walking through a difficult time, we want to pray for you.
SPEAKER_00: Go to the road.org, click on the ministries tab, and go to our prayer page to send us your prayer request.
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in today.
SPEAKER_00: Be sure to listen to the next edition of The Road.