WEBVTT 00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:09.519 You're listening to the road. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:10.800 After teachers. 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:19.280 Listen, guys, when you fear God, you break the power of force. 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:25.280 When you fear God, you quit manipulating. 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:35.520 When you fear God, it becomes important to you that his presence, his power, and his blessing is over your life. 00:00:35.920 --> 00:00:41.520 At The Road, our vision is to raise up wholehearted disciples of Jesus Christ. 00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:46.000 For more information on The Road, visit theroad.org. 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:51.280 We hope you are encouraged by today's message from Pastor Teacher Steve Holt. 00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:59.600 Father's Day has many connotations to many of us in this room. 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:08.799 For some of you, it's kind of a gray shade because of hurt and pain and disappointment in your background. 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:10.799 Some of you, it's very happy. 00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:12.560 You have pleasant memories. 00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:14.239 You had a protective father. 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:18.640 You had images of a dad that was really involved and he really cared. 00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:24.640 But I think for most of us, quite frankly, church, it's a mixed bag. 00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:25.920 It's a mixed bag. 00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:28.159 Your father wasn't Jesus. 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:31.439 And your mother wasn't the Virgin Mary. 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:34.879 And so we have a mixed bag, don't we? 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:41.120 So Father's Day may have pro, con, gray, dark, happy thoughts for you. 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:44.640 Here's what I've learned, though, as a pastor and a counselor and a mentor. 00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:46.319 And this is really interesting. 00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:52.719 And it may, at first it's going to sound kind of like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm not. 00:01:53.040 --> 00:02:13.280 And that is, I've found in many young couples, as well as men and women, that they could have come out of really, really great Christian homes where there were strong values, Christ was uplifted, and they have completely messed up their life. 00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:22.159 I've seen other families where there was no dad, or there was an abusive father, like my dad had, who turned the whole thing around. 00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:25.520 And really, my dad should have been an alcoholic. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:32.000 My dad should have been an abusive father if the image that was given to him was the only one that he ever had. 00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:32.560 But then Mr. 00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:36.319 Boltman came in to his life and a pastor. 00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:40.879 And he would talk about the pastor who could baptized me. 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:45.520 He baptized me, but he confirmed my dad when dad knew that he was called into ministry. 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:51.280 And so it was a pastor and a stepdad that turned my dad's life around. 00:02:51.360 --> 00:03:00.719 And now, four generations later, we look, and much of it, not all of it, because Ethan brings Sean and Tiffin and their beautiful family into it too. 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:05.199 But the reality is dad made some choices along the way. 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:11.360 But here's what we know all the science and all of the research continually shows us. 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:18.319 A recent Harvard study shows us that dads really do make a huge difference. 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:27.280 That they really make an impact, that the values that are built into a young man, even his own masculinity, comes largely from his father. 00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:30.719 And femininity largely comes from the mother. 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:45.759 And so I found, though, that there is something in the heart, and I think you see it in the glint of the eye, of young men and young women who didn't have that, who begin to seek it out. 00:03:46.080 --> 00:04:01.360 And I want to challenge you, young men and women, and even those that are middle-aged, where you've had poor images of fathering, you can turn that around by choices you begin to make through Jesus Christ. 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:21.199 And so it's amazing to me that the research shows how important an influential father is, but how much there's also research that shows that even when there hasn't been a father in the home, young men and young women can make solid decisions to turn that around through the power of Jesus Christ. 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:26.240 And that's why I believe so much in what we say that God can move mountains. 00:04:26.800 --> 00:04:36.480 So whatever your background, whatever pain you've gone through, or maybe even shame, you can turn that around through the power of Jesus Christ. 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:38.800 All things are possible through him. 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:46.879 I wanted to put up some quotes that I really like from some people that are sort of famous. 00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:47.839 You might have heard some of them. 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:52.720 Ken Norton, former world heavyweight boxing champion, said this. 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:13.360 Charles Kettering, the famous American inventor and engineer and businessman, said, Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. 00:05:14.639 --> 00:05:20.800 It's funny, I don't remember that much advice from my dad, but I do remember the modeling. 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:22.639 I do remember how he lived. 00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:27.439 Jim Valvano, famous head coach at NC State basketball. 00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:31.680 My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. 00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:33.519 He believed in me. 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:37.040 Clarence Kellen, syndicated writer. 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:43.839 My father didn't tell me how to live, he lived, and he let me watch him do it. 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:48.079 Margaret Truman, daughter of President Harry Truman. 00:05:48.720 --> 00:06:00.079 It's only when you grow up and step back from him or leave him for your own home, it's only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:01.120 And then, Dr. 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:14.079 James Dobson, if homes are going to survive, it will be because husbands and fathers again place their families at the highest level of their system of priorities. 00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:20.879 So I've been a father for 30 years and didn't do hardly any research on this talk. 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:22.639 Just looked up a few quotes. 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:27.519 Because I wanted to sort of be pure and think, okay, what have been the hardest things? 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:30.480 What have been the greatest things about being a dad? 00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:32.319 So here's the three hardest things. 00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:36.639 These are the three hardest things I think in being a dad. 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:40.720 So if you're not experiencing this yet, Father, it's coming your way. 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:41.759 I promise. 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:51.759 First, and this is really a hard one, giving our children just enough to have resources to work with, but not too much to spoil them. 00:06:52.959 --> 00:06:58.399 Some of you need to hear that because you you spoil your kids. 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:01.199 And then some of you need to realize that your kids need resources. 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:02.879 So I mean it goes both ways. 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:27.279 So I know for Liz and I, one of the things that we've done with our kids in husbanding them and mommying them has been to try to father them and mother them in regards to good coaches, good resources in things that they have an interest in, but then they they have to practice and they have to do the work. 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:30.720 And so we've never been on our kids about homework ever. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:35.360 We have enjoyed watching them get Fs at times. 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:41.680 It's been a joy to watch because we know they're learning lessons that way. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:42.639 Right? 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:46.800 Nobody's laughing over here in the in the front row. 00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:55.680 Number two, being a protector of their heart without fighting their battles for them. 00:07:57.199 --> 00:08:11.199 So learning to fight for their heart and the things that they uh maybe aren't prepared yet to handle, but when they are prepared to handle it, to back away a bit and let them have to fight their own battles. 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:32.080 And then thirdly, and this is one we're in right now, the last 10 years have been, this has been a learning curve, moving from being the leader of the family whose word is law, to being a friend to your adult kids whose word is only advice. 00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:34.080 That is so hard. 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:43.519 If you see things happening and you're like, I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna say anything, you know, unless you're asked. 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:45.440 So, anyway, those are some thoughts. 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:46.639 Here's three priorities. 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:53.679 I want to just talk in just real brief this morning about what I think of the three top priorities of being a dad. 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:55.679 Okay, so here's what I think. 00:08:55.919 --> 00:09:04.240 Steve Holt's opinion, it's worth only as far as you want it to be worth, but this is what I believe after 30 years of fathering. 00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:10.960 Number one, a father must prioritize his relationship with his father. 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:17.279 A father must prioritize his relationship with his father, and I'm not talking about your earthly father. 00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:18.399 That's important. 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:21.200 But I'm talking about your heavenly father. 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:28.240 The most important thing that a dad can do is be passionate for his heavenly father. 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:30.240 To be passionate for Jesus. 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:41.039 The first commandment still works for a father, and that is love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength of your neighbors yourself. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:48.480 So I've often heard people say the greatest thing that a husband can give his wife or a husband or father can give his children is to love the wife. 00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:49.600 I don't agree with that. 00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:57.360 I believe the greatest thing that a husband can give his wife and a father can give his children is his love for Jesus. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:03.679 There's no such thing as a fatherless Christian father. 00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:06.159 You have a father. 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:15.360 And when you make that your priority, things tend to fall into place in miraculous ways. 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:18.960 Finances, job, your future. 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:27.440 It's amazing what God wants to do for fathers that begin each day in his word and in worship. 00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:28.399 PB and J. 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:39.279 I was recently with a young man in the last three weeks who's struggling with some stuff in his life, and we had time together. 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:46.080 And I said, the most important thing you can do is you get fired up for the Lord. 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:53.279 You have got to get into the presence of God every day, and at our church we call it PBJ, prayer, Bible, and journal. 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:56.159 And when he hear P B and J and he went, oh, I love that. 00:10:56.399 --> 00:10:57.120 I love that. 00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:59.759 PBJ, peanut butter and jelly, yeah. 00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:02.639 And I go, well, how ironic that it's the same. 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:07.120 But PBJ, prayer, Bible, and journal, being in God's word. 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:14.240 It's the most important thing, men, it's the most important thing you can do is to feed on God's word. 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:16.639 Feed on the Lord's presence. 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:17.759 Worship Him. 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:24.879 Get a YouTube channel that you like, put on the earphones, go somewhere where people don't have to hear your voice because it's probably awful. 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:26.559 And worship the Lord. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.480 Worship two or three songs. 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:36.399 Take your mind off your job, take your mind off your school, take your mind off your problems for five or ten minutes and worship the Lord. 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:38.000 Close your eyes before the Lord. 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:39.519 Create your own war room. 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:44.159 Create a closet, whatever it is, but spend time with the Lord. 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:46.000 Open the Word. 00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:47.279 Just one chapter. 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:48.480 Just one chapter. 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:55.039 And we have a bookmark where it's got all the days of the month where you can go to that chapter. 00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:58.320 And then pray and journal. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:11:59.600 Take out a journal. 00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:04.960 If you don't have a journal, go get a spiral notebook, anything, and write down what God's saying to you. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:13.279 Have a really good friend, or he's becoming a good friend, who we were meeting for coffee and and he's just got a lot of issues. 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:18.320 And he said I could share this, and because I share with him, I said, look, start, start journaling. 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:19.919 Well, I don't like to journal. 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:20.960 And I said, that's okay. 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:22.080 Most guys don't. 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:24.720 80% of guys don't like to journal. 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:35.200 But I'm telling you, if you'll just do that for one month, just try, just try four days a week for a whole month, you'll start to hear God's voice. 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:48.720 There's something about when God knows that you're listening enough to jot down what you think he's saying to you from the word in worship that he starts getting louder and louder in speaking to us. 00:12:49.360 --> 00:12:55.440 When God is about to do something in your life, church, he gets louder and louder. 00:12:55.919 --> 00:13:02.000 But if you're not listening, then he gets quieter and quieter because he's wasting his time with you. 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:09.679 And so God, God is on the move and he's always speaking, but we need to be always listening. 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:11.759 And he mainly speaks through his word. 00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:15.840 And when we make that a priority of our life, we start listening for God's word. 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:35.200 There'll be divine appointments, there'll be supernatural encounters, there'll be prophetic words, you'll be in worship, you'll be gazing upon the Lord, and you'll just get an idea that is totally weird and crazy, and you say to yourself, man, I could never that can't be that that can't be from God because I would never think of that. 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:40.240 That can't be from God because I would never think of that. 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:45.600 You think God might actually speak to you things that you wouldn't think about? 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:46.960 That's the point. 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:52.799 And so as we gaze, God speaks to us. 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:56.799 As we read, as we spend time in God's Word, God speaks to us. 00:13:57.039 --> 00:13:59.440 Turn in your Bibles to Psalm 128. 00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:02.080 I love Psalm 128. 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:04.720 This is for men today. 00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:18.960 And ladies, you turn there to Psalm 128, because by the way, you're not allowed today, no elbows in the ribcage of the male figure that you're sitting next to. 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:23.279 Because you know your wife's been telling you half of this stuff. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:29.840 Okay, blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who walks in obedience to him. 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:32.799 You will eat the fruit of your labor. 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:35.679 Blessings and prosperity will be yours. 00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:39.519 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:43.919 Your children will be like olive shoots around your table. 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:48.320 Yes, this will be a blessing for the man who fears the Lord. 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:49.600 So this is where it all starts. 00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:54.320 Scripture says this is where it begins with men who fear God. 00:14:55.279 --> 00:15:02.000 Listen, guys, when you fear God, you break the power of porn. 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:08.000 When you fear God, you quit manipulating. 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:18.159 When you fear God, it becomes important to you that his presence, his power, and his blessing is over your life. 00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:20.399 Now turn to Psalm 112. 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:22.559 So turn to Psalm 112. 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:30.960 It's amazing that David had words for us about fathering when he was such a lousy father. 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:37.039 Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who delights greatly in his commandments. 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.840 His descendants will be mighty on the earth. 00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:42.639 The generation of the upright will be blessed. 00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:47.039 Wealth and riches will be in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. 00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:50.240 Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness. 00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:53.440 He is gracious and full of compassion and righteous. 00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:56.000 A good man deals graciously in lens. 00:15:56.480 --> 00:15:58.320 He will guide his affairs with discretion. 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:00.480 Surely he will never be shaken. 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:10.480 So cultivating and contending for intimacy with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is the beginning of marriage and fatherhood. 00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:14.240 And even if you in this room haven't done that, you start today. 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:16.399 Start on Monday. 00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.559 Start making that a priority. 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:23.840 I mean, the things of the past are the things of the past, and God forgives that. 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:25.600 We give that to Him. 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:30.159 Many of us carry guilt, many of us carry shame from the past. 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:46.960 But the reality is at any point we can turn that around and begin to dive into that hurtful relationship, maybe where we were not as good a dad as we could have been in those past relationships, and God can still show up with his love and his grace and his power and he understands. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:56.480 And single women, you that are out there and you want to be married again, or you've never been married for the first time, look for this kind of a man. 00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:58.240 Look for a man who fears the Lord. 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:10.960 Look for a man who's going after God, who's a worshiper and a warrior, one who makes the word of God his priority, who makes worship a priority, who's in church, who's a part of the body of Christ. 00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:13.440 Don't meet him at a bar. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:18.240 By the way, our guys here are way better looking than the ones at the bar. 00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:24.640 And you men, our women are definitely better looking than the ones at the bar. 00:17:24.720 --> 00:17:27.039 I haven't seen any that look like the Budweiser commercials. 00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:28.079 I'm sorry. 00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:44.079 So you show me a dad who's truly contending for Jesus, and I'll show you a man who's gonna go through just as the same hard times as everybody else, but he's gonna push through. 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:47.359 He's gonna push through, he's gonna make it. 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:50.960 Secondly, so a father needs a father. 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:54.559 Secondly, a father must see the future. 00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:58.000 Secondly, a father must see the future. 00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:03.359 Every successful father must have a vision and a mission for his life. 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:05.359 His work, his family, his marriage. 00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:09.039 Without a mission, without a marriage, it will perish. 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:17.759 Proverbs 29, 18, without a vision or a revelation, the people perish, or another translation would say unrestrained. 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:21.359 And we've seen unrestrained families. 00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:29.839 God wants every man and every woman, if you're married, to have a vision and a mission for your family. 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.000 Why are you guys getting together? 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:33.680 Why do we have a family? 00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:34.799 What's our purpose? 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:36.880 Some talk about mission statements. 00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:40.240 I don't care what you call it, but you gotta have a mission. 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:44.480 We talk about there's more conversation about submission than mission. 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:50.079 But all that submission is, is a person who's sub to a mission. 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:52.720 Sub to a mission. 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:57.920 So, men, don't come to me with your complaints about your marriage and she won't submit. 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:02.640 Because I'll already tell you, this will save you, I'll charge you. 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:03.920 Okay? 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:09.440 So save you all the money of coming to me and say, look, what's the mission of your family? 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:10.960 Well, I don't know. 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:14.640 Well, then she doesn't have anything to sub to, so why should she submit? 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:16.079 Because there's no mission. 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:17.359 So we need a mission. 00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:25.359 The mission is the responsibility of the man, but it's the responsibility of a husband and wife working together as a team. 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:27.119 What is your mission? 00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:28.640 Men, what's your mission? 00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:30.079 What's your future? 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:33.119 Why are you doing this family thing? 00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:36.799 Anybody can have babies. 00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:41.440 But it takes a man to truly be a father. 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:48.000 So if you want to live the life of your dreams, then get your dream from God. 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:49.839 Because when you do, it's exciting. 00:19:49.920 --> 00:20:08.640 It's interesting, a study was done not long ago that found that the main issue that kept marriages together was not good communication, was not sex, was not finances, it was a common vision, a common mission. 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:16.480 Now I grew up, you know, part of my life on a ranch in South Carolina, and I'll tell you what, I tell you what. 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:20.960 My grandmother and granddaddy, they were interesting. 00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:26.400 They had been together for 50 plus years, and they could fight. 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:27.359 Okay. 00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:32.480 And there's a couple secrets I'm not going to tell you about. 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:35.519 About my grandmother and granddaddy. 00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:37.519 Wouldn't be proper here. 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:43.519 But oh, they went to church together every Sunday. 00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:44.960 I loved my aunt. 00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:46.160 She has a wonderful family. 00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:49.759 My mom and our family, we had a good family because of her upbringing, too. 00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:51.599 It was really good, it was really solid. 00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:56.240 But their communication was terrible. 00:20:57.119 --> 00:20:59.119 I don't know about a lot of the other areas. 00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:02.319 My granddad was very, very successful with his ranch. 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:06.319 He was very, very wealthy at the end of his life. 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:17.119 But what kept them together, I think anybody in the family would agree, was they just they just had this common mission, and it was built around the ranch and the family and the church. 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:21.119 And they just did life together. 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:26.240 She did the books and he did everything else, and they were they hung together. 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:28.079 Men and women, you need a mission. 00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:30.559 And fathers, I just say this, what's your mission? 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:33.279 Fast and pray. 00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:35.759 Get alone with God if you don't have one. 00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:37.440 Talk to your wife about it. 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:39.119 What's your mission for your job? 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:40.799 What's the mission for your company? 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:43.359 What's the mission for your relationships? 00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:45.759 I think it's to seek first the kingdom. 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:47.680 The kingdom should be first in all of it. 00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:51.039 But okay, let's just say that that's the big rubric is the kingdom. 00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:59.200 But after that, what what does God have for your particular unique gifts and talents? 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:03.359 Wherein you guys can do it together. 00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:05.920 You can work together and you can be supportive of each other. 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:09.359 So I think, men, you need a mission. 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:12.480 You got to be brave enough to have a mission for your life. 00:22:12.640 --> 00:22:14.240 Look at Proverbs 2. 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:19.279 So just turn to the right, a few pages, you'll come to Proverbs 2. 00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:28.720 I love Proverbs 2 because Solomon is challenging us to go after it and to contend for wisdom. 00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:36.720 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commandments within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understand. 00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:49.839 Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:52.240 That's priority one, a father with a father. 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:56.720 For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding. 00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:01.519 He holds success, success in store for the upright. 00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:08.880 He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. 00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:13.839 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair, every good path. 00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:15.279 Love that. 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:16.480 He's talking about a vision. 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:18.240 He's talking about a mission. 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:22.400 So priority one, a father must have a father. 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:24.640 Priority two, a father must see the future. 00:23:24.799 --> 00:23:27.359 And then thirdly, a father must stay focused. 00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:29.519 You gotta stay in the game. 00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:32.559 Quitting is highly overrated. 00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:38.480 You and I all know quitters, and quitters are the most unhappy people on the whole face of the earth. 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:43.359 Those that have walked with God at one time, and then things got tough and they quit and they bailed. 00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:45.680 Don't quit. 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:48.559 Battle through. 00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:55.519 And if you're not having some problems and not having some struggles, then you are definitely probably not taking any new ground. 00:23:56.079 --> 00:23:57.279 Let's take new ground. 00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:05.039 Even as we get older, even as our kids grow older, even as we are married longer, let's take new ground. 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:08.319 Let's don't settle for where we've been. 00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:40.640 We have a woman in our church that I don't know if it's just Father's Day or if it's at other times, but she puts out a place setting at the dinner table with her family for a father, for Abba Father, because she's a single mom. 00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:56.400 So you women that don't have husbands and don't have men in your life, and you're responsible for your life as well as your kids, God, Abba Father, can be your husband and can husband you through this. 00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:58.160 And that's why you need the church. 00:24:58.319 --> 00:25:01.839 And we need each other to gather together and stay focused. 00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:03.279 So, dads, stay focused. 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:07.759 Here's five five attributes of what I think are a focused dad. 00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:13.920 Number one, focused dads work hard on being a good model to their wife and kids. 00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:17.039 Character really matters. 00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:33.759 I know so many pastors whose kids are not walking with God because the way they were at church on Sunday or at the ministry center was entirely different than they were when they got home. 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:39.039 And so hypocrisy often rules in Christian homes. 00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:48.319 And the reality is a focused dad knows that he has integrity in both places, that he's gonna, that he's modeling something to his wife and kids. 00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:55.279 Number two, a focused dad works hard at having quality and quantity time with his family. 00:25:55.839 --> 00:26:04.480 So you're gonna have to surrender some of your hobbies, TV time, and recreation to build in to your marriage and family. 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.960 Thirdly, focused dads keep learning. 00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:13.599 They just keep learning, especially from better dads. 00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:17.039 So they try to go after dads that are better than them. 00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:24.559 They go after fathers that are doing a better job, maybe even in grandfathering, and asking good questions and continuing to grow. 00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:32.160 Fourthly, focused dads learn to apologize when they're wrong and ask for forgiveness from their wife and kids. 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:36.799 I didn't want to put that one in. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.599 But it's really hard. 00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:48.079 But it's really necessary to learn how to apologize to the whole family when you had a tirade or you were angry or you said something really dumb. 00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:54.400 And I've my family will attest to having me apologize way more times than I want to admit here. 00:26:55.920 --> 00:27:00.079 And then fifthly, focused ads learned the art of empathy. 00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:20.480 Focused dads learn the art of empathy, and that is learning to listen and trying to put ourselves into the heart of where our kids are at, even our young adults, and understand that they're going through struggles too, and that we've now moved from being the law to being their friend. 00:27:20.720 --> 00:27:23.839 And so we're now, I mean, we'll always be dad. 00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:33.039 We'll always be dad, but it becomes more of a friendship, it becomes more of a relationship built on a mutual affection. 00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:34.559 We hope. 00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:36.319 And we want that. 00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:42.640 You've been listening to The Road with Pastor Teacher Steve Holt. 00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:45.759 We hope you have been blessed by today's message. 00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:49.839 To connect with us further, visit theroad.org. 00:27:50.079 --> 00:27:53.920 If you are walking through a difficult time, we want to pray for you. 00:27:54.079 --> 00:28:01.039 Go to theroad.org, click on the ministries tab, and go to our prayer page to send us your prayer request. 00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:09.279 Thanks again for tuning in today, and be sure to listen to the next edition of The Road with Pastor Teacher Steve Holt.