The Stories We Tell Ourselves

In this episode of Zen & the Art of Living Slow, we explore the powerful stories we tell ourselves—and how they shape the way we think, feel, and show up each day.

As educators and leaders, it’s easy to fall into patterns like “I can’t keep up” or “There’s not enough time.” But what if those thoughts are just stories… not truths?

Cheryl-Marie and Lauren reflect on how these internal narratives form, how they can quietly turn into limiting beliefs, and how we can begin to “re-story” them into something more supportive and aligned. Through personal experiences and practical strategies, they share what it looks like to pause, notice your thinking, and shift your perspective in the middle of a full day.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

•  How self-talk impacts your mood, energy, and productivity 
•  Why limiting beliefs often go unnoticed 
•  Simple ways to interrupt negative thought patterns 
•  Grounding practices to help you reset when you feel overwhelmed 
•  A glimpse into Cheryl-Marie’s four daily routines for staying regulated 

Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just looking for a more intentional way to move through your day, this conversation offers small, doable practices to help you come back to center.

What story are you telling yourself right now—and is it serving you?

Take one idea with you, and see what shifts.

Until next time—stay grounded, stay present, and stay in the work.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back. I'm your co-host, Cheryl Marie. And I'm Lauren Kazee. Thank you for being with us. Well, we did it. We launched our first podcast. If you missed it, we talked about times in our lives when we have to put our emotions aside or in a box to get through the task at hand. And while this can be a necessary strategy for self-care, we have to remember to go back and address what's in the box. Otherwise, it can catch up with us and wreak havoc on our bodies, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Welcome to Zen and the Art of Living Slow with Lauren Kazee and Cheryl Marie Manson. Here is another episode where we talk about slowing down, finding clarity, and navigating leadership, life, and well-being with more intention. We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Yes, like I shared during the last episode, I was functioning that way while processing the loss of a dear friend. I could feel my body starting to break down. So I allowed myself a day over that weekend to just slow down and attend to my emotional needs, write in my journal, feel my feels. It made a huge difference. So, and that's one of our goals for this podcast is to share our own personal experiences and how our slow and zen practices help us and hope that it helps others. On that note, Cheryl Marie, can you share some of your intentions behind your Zen business?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

In the Art of School Administration is an LLC that I started in 2023. I had spent um just over 30 years in education as a teacher and as an administrator in both general education and in special education. And I have always been struck by this zeitgeist, this intense energy that lives around our field. And especially in the last five to 10 years, we're seeing it with just the difficulty in keeping staff in attracting people into the field. And so I started Zen in the Art of School Administration really to support teachers and administrators, really any educator, specifically around how to create systems and routines that allow us to be the best teachers and leaders that we can be. So personal routines or even departmental routines, school routines. I do this through project management and individual and group coaching. But I have a lot of information. You can check out my website at www.zeneducator.com. Thanks for asking.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Yeah, I love that. And I have seen you in action. It is pretty impressive. You do a great job of providing practical tips that can be implemented right away. I'm grateful that we're collaborating since we have the same philosophy and a lot of this work, and our businesses complement each other so well. Because while you're supporting systems and routines, Living Slow is providing easy to implement personal strategies for self-care. I know we're both working hard, striving for people in schools to be their best. So, with that in mind, let's get into our main topic for our podcast this month: the stories that we tell ourselves. So, Cheryl Marie, what was your favorite story as a child?

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Oh, that's easy. Mine would have to be Green Eggs and Ham. I loved just the whimsical characters and the silliness of the story. Honestly, it was also the first book that I could read independently.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

The same for me. That's so funny. That was my first book, like Fox in a Box and whatever the other things are. Yeah. That's so funny. Like, what are the odds of that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

No, we should have known. We should know the book. Exactly. And that would both be our first book.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Yeah. For sure. Exactly. That, yeah, we should have known. That's typical of us. So, of course, uh, stereotypically, my favorite was Cinderella because I loved the fairy tale and the love story with the happy ending. I just, I love to read. I love hiding in a book. I love escaping reality. And I also think it's so impressive to see the author's ability to tell stories and how they paint a picture. I also realize that we are very good at also telling stories. I think we can fill our mind with tales about ourselves or other people. And the interesting thing is if we hold on to those stories and tales too long, they start to become our truth.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Goodness, isn't that the truth? Well, and these stories can then become our limiting beliefs, right? And often they're so insidious that we don't even know that we've created them. Um, I know that's true for myself. Michael Hyatt, who's an international expert on personal and team productivity, always recommends identifying those limiting beliefs and actually re-storying them. So, for example, instead of saying, I don't have enough time, you could restory that to, I have plenty of time to do the things that are most impactful. This can help dig up what we might be thinking without even realizing it.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

That's resonates with me, especially this morning, since I just got back in town at 1 a.m. And as I was unpacking my work bag, I realized that I left my work notebook that contains all the information about my different contracts and my to-do list at the hotel. And so this morning I was like, I cannot function without that notebook. I am at a loss without that notebook. I'm gonna have to retire. And actually, the truth is, as crazy as it is, and my panic has subsided a little bit, I'm sure I will function without it. It's just gonna be not as easy. So I have been doing that whole storytelling myself this morning. So I absolutely can relate. And I know that if I start this negative self-talk, then it will impact my mood, my energy, my ability to be productive or any of those things. So I have to focus on what is the truth, affirmations, motivational quotes, you can do this. It just helps me to hold on to things like that to be able to propel myself forward because I know words have a lot of power.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Oh, they sure do. They sure do. In fact, every day I engage in four daily routines. And the morning one to me is the most important because it really sets the tone for the day. And I've heard some people say that before they even get out of bed, and I think there's like a huge research number on this too. Before they even get out of bed, they grab for their phone and they check either the news or their email. And if you think about it, those are the words then that are setting the tone for your day. And so I'm I'm very intentional to not look at my phone, open my phone until I do my morning routine. Um, and the first thing I do is I meditate. I use an app for that. I'm a big fan of Gabby Bernstein and Marianne Williamson, who have done hundreds of guided meditations and mantras. They actually have some lessons too. I'm currently doing a 21-day manifestation challenge where each day I meditate on abundance. And again, they they walk you through it. It's really cool. And then clarify in my journal what I want to see in my life. And here's what's funny. Yesterday, the prompt was literally tell the story of what your life looks like as if you have already manifested your desires.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

I mean, you manifest my notebook.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

I am gonna work on that. Okay, I will try. See, maybe that's what you need to do. You need to be thinking that it's already here, you're gonna find it someplace else, or it's in the mail on its way to you.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Yes. We can hope. With a hundred dollar bill tucked in the cover.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Well, you're really pushing it.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

I'd just be happy with the notebook.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Yeah, no, you gotta think big.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Yeah. Uh, but you know, let's be real. Sometimes you can't even tell yourself another story because you're feeling so frantic, or what some might call out of your window of tolerance. And I'm sure that's exactly how you were feeling, are feeling, you know, that sense of, oh my goodness, probably bumped you right out of your window of tolerance. And now you're, you know, like you had said, felt panicky, which is a sure sign that you're not in your window. So I know for me, coming back to my breath can help. Writing out a page of my current thinking, sometimes I literally just open up a page and just write. Like, here's all the stuff that's in my head. But as a therapist, what do you what do you recommend to our educators who might be listening right now and thinking there is no other way to see this story?

SPEAKER_02 8:30

Yeah, that's a great question. And I can imagine for a busy educator or school leader, I mean, it's probably they're so busy that it's probably hard to even notice that they're telling themselves a story. Um, I know, you know, it could be you could be hypersensitive to all of the things and just running around putting out fires, or maybe you're so overwhelmed that you're like hypo aroused and you're just overwhelmed with being overwhelmed. And so you're unable to get anything done. And so I think whatever your response is to your window of tolerance, like me this morning running around tearing everything up, like I know I have to have my notebook somewhere, that there are ways to regroup. And I think for those who are listening, I think maybe a way to consider is like as you're beginning your day and you're parking your car and you're walking into your office, that you think about what is your how do your feet feel on the parking lot, just step by step as you're walking towards the building, or even thinking about um your breath as you're walking towards your office and your desk, paying attention to that. I know often people say we don't have time for one more thing because things are so hectic. The nice thing about breathing is you're already doing it. So it's not necessarily one more thing, but it's just being aware of it and paying attention to that. Maybe looking around and just noticing the scenes. I think, especially right now in the spring, as things are popping up out of the ground. I love to see fresh spring blooming. And um, I think just being intentional and being in the moment, giving yourself that space to reset, I think for sure are some good strategies for people to consider. Um, and you also said you have four routines and you shared one. Would you be willing, just out of curiosity, what are those other three daily routines that you do?

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Yes, of course, of course. You know, before I before I do, you had mentioned like the walking slowly and feeling your feet on the ground, and it makes me think about I'm reading the book Widen the Window by uh Dr. Elizabeth Stanley. And she uh talks about like making sure you have that felt sense of your surroundings. And that really like I don't know, that lit something up in my brain because I think sometimes when you're feeling so frantic and crazy, you're not really recognizing the felt sense of your back against the chair, if that makes any sense. So when you said that, what is that felt sense of your feet on the ground? Yeah, I love that. Yes. Brings you back into your body and in your space. So yeah, my other all four routines, um, I'd love to talk more about these in future episodes, but for now, uh just this is what the four are. I have a morning routine, a workday startup routine, a workday shutdown routine, and then an evening. And these are critical for me to stay regulated and inside my window of tolerance. So we can certainly talk about these in future episodes. I love that. Thank you for sharing. That's good to hear. So, listeners, what is one idea from this conversation that you can take in your pocket today with you?

SPEAKER_02 11:37

And for me, I think my practice is to not believe everything that I think. So if I'm stuck in this loop, like I was outside of my window of tolerance this morning, that I have to lean on a trusted ally or just have a different perspective, try to maybe, like you said, think about the physical space around me. And um just to try to have a different story than what is going on over and over, just that I'm perseverating on over and over in my mind. It helps to just break that cycle so that I can be more positive and hopefully more productive.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

What about you? Well, I mentioned my daily routine. That really helps me stay in my window. But I'll also say that sometimes when I'm stuck in a loop, I'm not always able to access a better thought pattern right away. And so if I notice that and I'm stuck in the loop, like you said, I'll ask myself, what do I need right now to get myself back in the window? And I think you just said it, like just realizing that you're you're dysregulated or out of your window is step one. Like, oh wow, I've got I'm just looping that thought. And that thought probably isn't even real right now. So I usually I start by taking slow breaths. I know that you know that out breath should be a little bit longer than the inhale in order to regulate myself. Sometimes it's going for a walk, a slow walk. I'm not out for a jog. Sometimes it's simply just shutting my laptop because that might be part of it. I might be overtired and I'm trying to push through, and that's actually making things worse for me. Or calling a friend.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

And sometimes it's good to like, what can you actually control? Because there are things like the situation this morning. I do not have any control over it. So what can I control? I can handle these things. So yeah, I think all of this is good strategies. I should have listened to this podcast before this morning. Would have helped me. Right. So ironic. Right, exactly. It's like I'm living all of these things in real time. So um, all of those are great insights. Cheryl Marie, thank you for sharing. And friends, we are um at the point here where we can share with you what we have cooking for next month's podcast. We actually have our first guest. Yes. So we are so excited to have Debbie McFlone join us and share some of the tips that she has just written. Um, one of her latest books. I think she has many, she's authored many books, but her latest book is called Meeting the Moment. So we're excited to have her join us next month and to share some strategies with all of you. So we're looking forward to having her join us and having you join us as well. So thank you for being here with us. We're excited that you're on this journey with us.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Until next time, stay grounded, stay present, and stay in the work.