Navigating work stress and finding work-life harmony

Episode 5: Work-Life Harmony with Chris Robinson

Is work-life balance really possible—or is there a better way to think about managing the demands of work, family, and personal well-being?

In this episode of Zen and the Art of Living SLOW, Cheryl-Marie Manson and Lauren Kazee explore the idea of work-life harmony—moving beyond the pressure of achieving perfect balance and instead finding a sustainable rhythm through life's ever-changing seasons.

Joining the conversation is Chris Robinson, mental health professional, former school mental health leader, and private practice owner. Chris shares practical insights on navigating competing priorities, managing stress, maintaining perspective, and building healthy boundaries while juggling professional and personal responsibilities.

Together, the hosts and Chris discuss:

• Why work-life balance may be the wrong goal
• How to find harmony when life feels overwhelming
• Strategies for managing multiple roles and responsibilities
• Navigating difficult adult relationships and workplace stress
• Practical ways educators and leaders can protect their well-being
• One powerful takeaway for creating more peace and purpose in everyday life

Whether you're an educator, leader, parent, or simply someone trying to keep up with life's demands, this conversation will leave you with actionable ideas for slowing down, staying grounded, and creating harmony in the midst of the chaos.

Takeaway Question:
What is one idea from this conversation that you can carry with you today?

Listen in and join us as we continue the journey of living intentionally, leading thoughtfully, and embracing the art of living SLOW.

Show Links:

https://www.therapybyrob.com/

https://www.facebook.com/therapybyrob/

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Zen and the Art of Living Slow with Lauren Kazee and Cheryl Marie Manson. Here is another episode where we talk about slowing down, finding clarity, and navigating leadership, life, and well-being with more intention. We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Welcome back. As we previewed in last month's podcast, today we're exploring the topic of work-life harmony. Often we hear the term work-life balance, but I, we, our proponents that it really is impossible to find balance. Because when you focus on one area, you stop focusing on the other.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Yes, I so agree with you. Thinking about it as balance seems to add more pressure. Like to me, I think if I'm balancing, I'm on a seesaw and it takes more effort to stay static, it feels harder. So I actually like the idea of thinking about it more like a rhythm or dancing. So finding that harmony, maybe sometimes in our lives we have to move a little bit more quickly. So that's going to be like disco dancing or doing the jig. I mean, who does the jig anymore? But um, or other times things can be slower and maybe we can waltz or slow dance. I just like the image of that better.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

And I'm glad that we're talking about dancing. We're gonna have to um dedicate an entire episode to Cheryl Marie's debut on Pepsi dance tracks back in the 80s.

unknown 1:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Um stay tuned, stay tuned for that, friends. Stay tuned, you guys. It was like the 1980s version of um, it was like Soul Train Meets American Bandstand. Um we can we'll do a whole uh on that, I'm sure. So I love that imagery. It feels like it just feels draining when you're trying to juggle everything. And I really love the idea of thinking about it as a day-to-day dance. So knowing we are always making movement, just sometimes it's faster um than other times, and being able to capitalize on slower moments um is key.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

That is why I'm so excited to introduce our guest today, Chris Robinson. I have known Chris for several years. We are definitely considered each other family. We used to work together overseeing school mental health programming. He also owns a private therapy practice, supporting people in their mental health. One of my favorite things about Chris, and there are a lot of them, but one of my favorite things about him is his ability to maintain perspective in his professional life. So he is especially good at learning how to manage all of the things. So welcome to our podcast, Chris.

SPEAKER_04 2:23

Thanks for having me. I am grateful for the opportunity to share on this podcast with you both.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

We're so happy to have you, Chris. And as you know, we started this podcast to provide people in education, especially leaders, with ideas or strategy, strategies to prioritize their wellness. Now you've worked with schools for years now. So what's something you've noticed in your experience that is important for people to consider when they're juggling so many demands on their time and attention?

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Well, one thing I've learned that a lot of people say once you're in the field for a while is there's always more to do than how much time you have left. So work is more of a process, is never a stop-start thing, especially in education. There's always going to be something left for you to do. When people, especially leaders, are waiting to complete their to-do list before emphasizing taking care of themselves, they're putting themselves too low on the priority list. And everything that they're supposed to do starts to suffer, not just at work, but at home, you know, when it comes to taking care of your kids, things of that nature. Those that seem to sustain a successful lifestyle for a longer period of time without getting burnt out are those that seem to recover well versus those who just work the hardest.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

That is so true. Such a good point. Um, it's hard, I think, especially in our work, to focus, I mean, in our society, is so focused on like getting things done and taking care of business instead of really prioritizing self-care. Um, as you know, uh just with your work with schools, that life is very busy for educators. And um I know life is busy for you as you are maintaining all of the different sites and the um state level, school mental health programming, plus also your private practice and also attending to the needs of your children and your family. So, what is a strategy that you use when things get a little bit harried for you, or maybe not a little bit, but maybe just a lot of bit harried for you that could help our listeners?

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Well, one of the most important strategies is operating under the lens of multitasking is not something that's really possible. So when things get really busy, you got a lot on your plate when you wake up and you think about everything you have to do for the day, which a lot of us will do. I have historically had the drive to try to accomplish as much as possible by doing multiple things at once. Like, what can I fit in on my drive to work? What can I fit in while we're in this virtual meeting? So if you think about it, I'm paying bills while I'm in a meeting, but I'm not focused. I'm checking my calendar while I'm trying to write a report. The report is taking twice as long. I'm cleaning the house while I'm trying to schedule a doctor's appointment. I'm missing what the doctor is saying, or I didn't put it down in regards to like what date I selected. This leads to being inefficient, which means that we're not getting as much done with the time that we have. And what's really happening when we think we're multitasking is your brain is switching really quickly from one task to the next back to the original task. And you have to reorient where you left off and what you're actually doing, which takes like that extra time to kind of get going on that task. So now I try to be attentional about hyper focusing on one task at a time. It really increases my efficiency. And I also try to give grace when I want to get a lot done, what I don't get done in that moment. Because when we're judging ourselves, that ease through our motivation, it actually makes us work slower. Because now we're beating ourselves up and we're getting confused with what we're supposed to do, what we're trying to reprioritize, what's important, things of that nature. And that just causes us to be overwhelmed. So using that hyper focus, like start stop. If I'm paying bills, I'm gonna pay bills, I'm not gonna pay bills and do the virtual media. If I'm locked in on the virtual media, I'm gonna be present so I'm not hurting the quality of what I need to make sure that I do in regards to that meeting. So really trying to focus on one task at a time seems simple, but when you take the the principle of multitasking, it's not a thing, it's easier to do that and start knocking things off your list.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Love that. I I think it's easier said than done, right? Like it seems so simple, but you're so right. When we do all of that cognitive switching, I always say that it leaves a cognitive residue every time you do it task to task to task. And it's no wonder then that by the end of the day, you know how sometimes I would drive home from work as a as a school administrator, almost feel like my brain was warm. And I think now looking back, it's because I was trying to constantly um multitask. I have that cognitive residue, and I felt like my brain was just um so full of it. And then you feel like you never did any one thing really well. So I I so appreciate that, Chris. You you're right, it's simple, but it's probably the most important thing that you can do um in that way.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

And also and also hard when you've got a thousand things coming at you all the time.

unknown 6:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

All the time.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah. And every one of them comes to you as if it was urgent. So yeah, you've got to make that decision in the moment. Um, oh, this is a topic I've been talking about a lot. So uh often we hear that it's just it isn't just student behavior that adds stress. Sometimes it can be the adults that have contentious relationships or issues that also add stress. Do you have strategies, Chris, to help navigate difficult adult relationships?

SPEAKER_04 7:25

Yes, from my clients to the schools I supervise to the people I work side by side with. This is a common thing that causes tension and stress in the workplace. So I like to always try to highlight that difficult conversations does not automatically equate difficult relationships. When you start to label a person or the relationship difficult, we've already lost. We're gonna carry that tension every time we're kind of in that dynamic. But when you take the highlight that there maybe there's something difficult to talk about, that gives people a sense of hope in managing a difficult dialogue. Like it's just the conversation or it's just this element that might be difficult. Having crucial conversations can be uncomfortable, but they contribute to a healthy work environment. And this translates to having crucial conversations at home with partners, with kids, and what and so forth. But you got to be comfortable stating your perspective plainly. That means sometimes removing emotions, removing what you think is happening, speaking on facts, and then seeking clarity, being curious to the other person's perspective. So when we feel some type of way, it's important for us to understand that there may be something else going on with that person, and we want to understand that if we want to be understood. When you take that stance, a lot of times we can have those conversations and it can lead to a better dynamic, a more comfortable dynamic. Not always in agreement. That's and that's okay, but we don't want to work under that tension. The other thing is it's always so important to remember that our assumptions are extremely powerful. So if we assume negative intent or emotions for the other person, that can have an enormous impact in a negative way on our interaction. It's always best to assume negative attention, not assume negative intentions while staying curious. Because your negative assumptions might be accurate, but you want to inquire before you start to move based off of what you assume. A lot of times, those tense conversations is usually based off of the person being stressed or some type of miscommunication or us being stressed or us misinterpreting something. So when you remember that, that allows us to give ourselves grace as well as other people, and it helps us to navigate those tense situations.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

I have seen you in action in some of the things that you've just said, and it is exactly true. Like you are so good about stating honestly what you like using those I statements, like I'm feeling this, and talking about just honestly saying, here's what I'm experiencing, or here's what I've witnessed, or here's what I see. You're so masterful at that. I was also thinking that there are times that maybe I will get a text or an email from somebody, and the tone is like, did they mean it like this? And so I have tried to just instead call to say, like, can we talk about the email that you just sent? Because I'm not sure if you like, I couldn't tell the tone. And it's, you know, and again, like we were saying, life is moving so quickly that sometimes people can come across, and I know I can do this, come across a little bit more snarky than I intended to. And so, or I have to catch myself like just replying to somebody in an email without saying like a greeting, like, good morning, or hello, or I hope you're doing well. And like, okay, you don't just have to get to the answer, but just try to make things a little bit more personal. So, um, yeah, I think you've really provided us. I know this is something that I still need to work on, just assuming good intentions, being gracious when things are tense. Um, I just came out of a tense situation, you know, my son got married. There was a lot of tension, and I needed a lot of grace from a lot of people. So um, I hope those folks are listening to this podcast as well. But it is naturally for me to, you know, get defensive or to try to prove my point without giving space to others to do the same. So I'm truly trying to practice this skill as I live slow. Uh, and so um I appreciate the friendly reminder. Unfortunately, we're at the point in our podcast that leads me to our last question for our time together today. So, what would be one takeaway for our audience when it comes to navigating stress and finding that work-life harmony?

SPEAKER_04 11:21

Well, I think that one important thing to emphasize, especially when it comes to like leaders, is taking care of yourself shouldn't be in competition with taking care of everything on your plate. When you take care of yourself, that actually should be like a main part of the equation and taking care of everything on your plate. Um, when you look at leaders and the way that they operate, especially in the education system, they're pulled a million different directions. And it can feel that the thing to be sacrificed is your your well-being. Maybe I'm skipping lunch, maybe my meditation, 10 minutes that I was going to do, I'm gonna push to the side because now I gotta move to this urgent situation, things like that. And when when that happens, it's times where that makes sense. We do have to do that. There's a fight, I gotta go help. You know what I'm saying? There's a teacher that needs me, I gotta go be immediate and help and step into that classroom and make sure that things are taken care of. That makes sense. But when that becomes your normal way of operating and people expect that, meaning when I need you, you're right on the dime. You're answering emails past hours, you are answering texts when we're not at, when you're not working, that becomes the expectation. That's when it becomes an issue because now you're not giving yourself time to fully recharge and make yourself a priority so you can actually be there for people. So I found that taking care of yourself actually is what fuels you to be able to take care of everyone else. And when you word it that way to yourself, you don't feel that it's selfish. And so you have a healthy balance when it comes to your physical activity, you know what I'm saying, good connections outside of work, your guilty pleasures and having fun. You're gonna be more present, you're going to be a better problem solver, you're gonna have more energy for the things that you really want to be able to prioritize when it comes to work. So think of self-care as not being selfish, but think of it as you're responsible for taking care of the person that's responsible for taking care of everything else.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Yeah, so good. So good. I love that final thought. Um, this has been an insightful uh conversation. And um thank you so much, Chris, for all that you've shared with us and with our listeners today.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

Well, I appreciate you both inviting me. And also I want to say thank you for everything that you guys are doing for the education field. These topics I know are extremely important, and I know others that are listening appreciate it as well.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Thank you, Chris. This has been great. I'm so happy to spend this time with you. Um, having worked with you over the years, I know that again, the things that you've shared here are things that you do. So um I think uh one of the things I, you know, it's the things that I admire about you the most. For me, I'm gonna take away the idea that self-care is about um not selfish, but it's how you take care of yourself so that you can take care of everything else. I love that. Um, it's of course I'm gonna keep working on also assuming the best in other people. So, Cheryl Marie, what is your takeaway for today?

SPEAKER_01 14:03

You know, I think I needed the reminder um that when I'm feeling a certain way when I'm talking with someone that um I need to be more curious and assume positive intent. I think I know those things, but when you're running so fast, you're not regulated and centered yourself. So it's so easy to just leap to wow, what is that person thinking, saying, doing? They're wrong. So I appreciated that. Um, and I know personally I needed that reminder because I'm moving quicker these days. So I I appreciate that. Um, so listeners, you've heard our takeaways. So now what is one idea from this conversation that you can take in your pocket today with you?

SPEAKER_02 14:49

And friends, as you know, the last three podcasts, we've had three guests join us. So next month, the two of us, Cheryl Marie and I, are going to just take some time to process all that we've heard and learned and implemented as a result of those conversations. There's been so many rich morsels that we are excited to digest and talk about.