Pause, Rewind, Reflect

In this episode of Zen & the Art of Living SLOW, Cheryl-Marie and Lauren pause to savor some of the ideas that have stayed with them from their recent conversations with Debbie McFalone, Colin Ripmaster, and Chris Robinson. They revisit what it means to meet the moment, build trust through authenticity and follow-through, assume the best in others, and prioritize our own well-being. Along the way, they reflect on how self-awareness helps us slow down, notice what we need, and choose how we want to show up—for ourselves and for others.

It’s a chance to revisit the wisdom, make it personal, and ask: What’s one idea you want to put in your pocket and carry with you today?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Zen and the Art of Living Slow with Lauren Kazee and Cheryl Marie Manson. Here is another episode where we talk about slowing down, finding clarity, and navigating leadership, life, and well-being with more intention. We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Welcome back. As previewed in last month's podcast, Lauren and I are going to recap some of the important takeaways from our previous three guests. If you haven't had a chance to listen to those podcasts, make an opportunity to listen to them. They are anywhere between 15 and 25 minutes long.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Yes. It was so fun to be joined by Debbie McFillone and Colin Ripmaster, and then Chris Robinson. Each of them had their own unique perspectives, yet they also had similar messages that aligned perfectly with the intentions for this podcast, which is why we had them here.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Exactly. So let's let's just recap. Our first guest, which was pretty special to me, was Debbie McFlone. If you recall, I knew Debbie when I was still student teaching, so over 30 years ago. So that was a little bit of a full circle moment for me personally. But she talked about meeting the moment. And she recently published a book about this where she spends a lot of time talking about meeting our meeting each moment in leadership, seeing each moment that we have, working with staff, working with students, working with parents as an opportunity to slow the energy down and be more thoughtful in our response. I have to say, my takeaway from hers was kind of, well, it's not silly. I was going to say silly, but it's not. And I know, I know our listeners can't see, but you can. She talked about having note cards that she had, and they she said just every morning she goes through her stack of note cards that has like either uplifting quotes or things that she wants to remember. So I have one. Um, I read these every day. There's like five little note cards. So the one that I probably my favorite one is I release all littleness and limiting beliefs and I choose gratitude instead. And I just kind of read them when I sit down here in the morning. But that was from Debbie.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

That's awesome. I love that. I also have little quotes around that I read. I also have a Chinese fortune cookie that I I mean, I've had it for years and years and years. I've taken it with me every time I move, but it says it's most gratifying when a goal is reached through one's efforts. So, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Yeah. But I would say my takeaway from Debbie, first of all, she is a gift, like to have her energy and her experience. I think that was one thing that stood out to me is even though she had so many great strategies and tips, I think overall I appreciated her experience and the perspective that she brought from having worked in so many different situations and just the idea of calm and intentional and thoughtful and the way that you show up for people and places. And honestly, I think the story that you shared about your first experience with her and how you were a student teacher and feeling so frazzled about this lesson plan that had gone awry and how she was so accommodating to you, I think to me just speaks volumes about her character and who she is as a person and the impact that as a leader she had on her staff. And that's something that I really respect. The other thing I would say from her and you, that we talked about those morning rituals and those practices. And I have started to adopt a practice before I go to bed of just thinking through and recapping gratitude. What am I grateful for that happened throughout the day? And sometimes because of the stage of life that I'm in, I don't sleep through the night necessarily all the time. And so having a hard time going back to sleep, that's something else that I do is just think about things that I'm grateful for. So that is a strategy or practice that I have implemented because of our time with Debbie and because of my time with you, Cheryl Marie.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Thank you. That's so great. Isn't that funny? I think all of us get to a certain age where uh sleep becomes more of a chore.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yes. Every night I'm like, okay, you can do this, you can make it through the night.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Yes, yes. And then it's like, don't make it weird, don't think about it too much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Exactly. Well, then we talked to Colin Rittmaster, who's the executive director for the Michigan Association for Secondary School Principals. His topic was around trust. And he actually quoted several texts. He's a voracious reader for sure. Um, but I think the one thing that resonated with me was when he was talking about the idea that it's one thing to feel, how did you say that? It's one thing to feel like you honor others and that you trust others and that you believe in others, but unless you're showing it on a regular basis, they only know what they're seeing. That was such an aha for me because, and if anyone's listening that I've led before, they probably are gonna laugh when I say this. I tend to show my love appreciation through kind of poking and teasing them. You know, I had older brothers, that's how they showed love for me, you know, just kind of poking, teasing, whatever. But if I'm not actually saying the words that I'm thinking, how would they ever know? Yeah. Um, so that was a huge aha for me and something I wish I would have been more intentional about in years past.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

So yeah, just being more direct or more explicit about how you feel. Because not everybody necessarily interprets the sarcasm, maybe the way that you intend it. I'm also a poker and a teaser sometimes, and I didn't have brothers.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that. Like, that's how I show love. Like, if I'm not teasing you, then that's actually a problem. So if I'm teasing you, that means I'm now reflecting.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Like, have you teased me? I have to think about it, Cheryl Marie. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

For sure I have. Yeah. I would also say I really like how he talked about, you know, the speed of trust and when there is trust, how you can move more agile with uh your staff because you have those relationships that social capital built up over time. And it just makes leading through change much easier.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, putting those deposits in the bank account. I've said that before. Like you're operating on NSF right now, like there is nothing in the account. You're like, that's the checks are bouncing. Yeah. Yes, that is so funny. Yeah. It's funny to me how after the conversations and the topics, I will notice that, and maybe it's just my awareness is different, but I would say after our conversation with Colin, which I thought was so rich, he just had so many great things to talk about and to share. And I know he's written several articles that have been published. I think I've had more conversations since our time with him around the importance of trust and saying what you mean and meaning what you say. And I I have come to realize that I am definitely much more of the person that words have so much weight to me, like language means so much. And so I take what people say seriously because I try give them the benefit of the doubt that what they're saying is what they mean. And I think I it's just unbelievable how many conversations have happened since that conversation with Colin that are around that same topic or that same issue, where over and over again trust has continued to come to the surface. So I think I have just been much more aware about the language or the ways that I communicate and also ways that I interpret what other people are saying to me and how that impacts trust and integrity and those kind of factors.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Yeah, you know, it's funny. I've thought about that. Like if nobody else listens to our podcast, Lauren, you and I are getting something from it because I do the same thing. Yeah. I mean, I look at our stats, people are listening, so that's good. But I agree. I do the same thing. Like now that's in my mind and I'm noticing it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, finally, we had Chris and he shared his insights about work-life harmony and ensuring you are assuming the best in others and being gracious with yourself, prioritizing your wellness in service of others. And I think if I had to summarize one word that I took from his, it would be curiosity. Because when he talked about assuming the best in others, which I do for I would say most of the time, I absolutely do assume the best in others. And I just assume they don't know maybe all of the information or there's more than one side to every story. Like I would say I'm pretty good at that. But if you dig a little bit deeper, when he was talking about assuming the best in others, he also added in the idea of being curious. So when they're saying something that maybe you don't relate to, don't just assume the best, be curious about it. Why might they be coming from that place and ask questions to learn more and understand? So I thought that was just a powerful uh yes, it affirmed what I already knew and and maybe show up like, but it it kind of challenged me to go a little bit further.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, take it a little bit deeper. Um, and I know because you have an affinity for Debbie McFlow, and that's how I felt about having Chris here, just for all the years that he and I've worked together. It does something, I think, to your heart to be connected with people who you have a history with, who you know are in your same choir, so to speak, and to have him join us just filled my heart so much. Just because I know what his life is like and I've seen him practice what he preaches. So I, for me, the takeaway from our time with Chris last month was the idea that self-care isn't selfish. And of course, because you and I are so committed to that philosophy, and you know, with through the whole living slow idea and perspective, that's something that I hold up very high. So I think it's something that I have to continue to remind myself of. And I think it's a message that I try to tell others that rest doesn't have to be earned, that we can just give ourselves permission to slot stop or to slow down just because, because we're human and because we need it, that it's maybe can be used as a preventative measure so that you don't crash in the future later. I know, like you and I were talking about a little bit ago, July has been a slower month, which is typical in our education field. And I've tried to just capitalize on it and to just soak up those extra moments, knowing that it's not gonna always be that way. So I think that's one thing that I appreciated from our time with Chris. The other thing, and I think this is what you just kind of alluded to, is asking more questions to get clarity. And I yeah, exactly what you were just talking about instead of assuming assuming that I know what somebody is saying. So that's not always easy to do, but especially when your emotions are involved or heightened, but it definitely helps for things to escalate if you can just probe a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

I think it's hard to do when you're moving too quickly, too. It's hard to be curious because you're like, I I don't have time to be curious. I've got, you know, three other emergencies on the backside of this one. Yeah. But I think just taking a breath sometimes and realizing an extra 60 seconds right here might go a long way to me understanding the problem in a different way.

unknown 12:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

So it's a good thing. And it may save time in the back end because if you can take that 60 seconds, it may keep you from things blowing up and becoming 20 minutes or 30 minutes or an hour.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Yeah. I would say as I reflected on all of our guests and the topics, um, the thing that I noticed probably the most is just about self-awareness and the ways that we can support our own well-being and others. I think self-awareness is one of my most favorite skills. I know it's part of the whole social emotional learning that we do with schools. And I it's I think an important quality and skill for adults to have. I think uh, you know, being a social worker and a therapist, and like we were just saying, trying to live slow and be zen, uh self-awareness is such an important part of that.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

It really is, because if you don't take the time, and I'm just thinking about today, I've been running probably 150 miles an hour, and this is the first time I've slowed down, but now that I've slowed down, I'm aware of how I'm showing up. And that just makes such a difference in how you move forward.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Yeah. Living slow. Slow. Yes. So you and I are taking away this is our opportunity to go slow ourselves and to reflect, which is nice. And hopefully the case for our listeners. So, listeners, we are hoping that as you've heard us share our takeaways and our reflections from our previous guests and those conversations, that you can either from our conversation today or from those previous podcasts and episodes, you will find one thing that you can put in your pocket and take away with you today.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

So, looking ahead to our September podcast, we realize that many of you will be steeped in back to school season. So, with that in mind, we want to we wanted to talk about decision-making tools and strategies. Um, and our guest is going to be Shalee Patel from MEA. She's also a fellow special educator. So, kudos out there to my special education friends. We hope you will all join us. So, until next time, stay grounded, stay present, and stay in the work.