Reading the Room :: Ep 3

I'm offering live intuitive readings and answering your questions on-air. In this episode we explore one listener's question about dealing with anxiety when they're unable to follow their guidance.

• (00:00) - Intro
• (01:08) - Q - How do I deal with the anxiety I feel when I'm not able to follow my divine guidance & be in control?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

From Divine Interruption, I'm Sarah Hildreth Rankin. And this is Reading the Room. Hi, welcome back to Reading the Room. This is the series where I read the energy of a person or a thing or a place, whatever you, the listener, sends into me, any questions you have about your own life, things that you're dealing with, that you're going through, or questions that you just have about life that you're looking for another perspective on, I'm going to read that energy and I'm going to connect with your soul. I'm going to connect with your soul records and see if we can find some other information for you to help you in your life. That's what we're doing here. And there's something that I forgot to mention, I think before, where when I'm reading energy, I'm receiving a lot of different sensations. And that also means that a lot of times I am in like a first person perspective. So that just means that I am feeling emotions as if they were mine. I might be seeing a situation as if I'm in that situation or another lifetime. And I'm experiencing it as you, as the person who I'm reading. So when I'm describing things, I will talk in first person. I'll be like, oh, I feel so sad and there's something here, and now I'm going to do this. And that might be hard to follow sometimes. So I thought I would just mention it. I'm like, oh yeah, I talk in first person a lot. And yeah, it might feel a little bit chaotic. Or if there's a relationship where there's other people involved, I will then switch and I will sometimes feel into that person and then I will talk about that person as if I was that person. So yeah, just FYI, if that's confusing. And also sometimes the guidance can be very specific. It might be exactly about the thing that you can do or say, or even like a food you can eat, or something to drink, or a place to go, or like a practice that you can do that will really support you. And other times it's super vague. And that's just the way it is, right? And I've learned to trust that whatever wants to show up is exactly what that person's meant to hear. Sometimes we're not meant to know, or we just don't need to, right? It's almost like riff-raff. They're like, ugh, too much information. You don't need to know all of that, right? If I go into a lifetime, sometimes I'm actually getting a specific date, a place, I'm getting names, I'm getting all of the players, and I am taken and very like immersed in another lifetime. And that's because that's key to sharing that. And that might be the exact healing that that person needs. Like they need those details for some reason, even if you don't know why you need them. There might be something about that that's important. And then other times, I will just know, I'm like, oh, you've had eight other lifetimes, or maybe you've just had a handful of other lifetimes that is related to this specific issue you have around self-worth or something like that. And that's that's all I'll get. So again, it's fascinating. And just from doing this enough, I'm like, okay, we just receive what we need. And so when I'm doing these readings, and if you're following along, you might notice that it can be quite different from person to person. And it's kind of cool because it's also through the filter of another person's soul and that person's their spiritual team. You've got all sorts of people on your team, or not people, but beings and energies with you that support you. And then your soul essence and everything you've experienced, that can really flavor a reading. It can kind of direct the way the messages are told, maybe how they're told. It can even give me certain colors. Like sometimes a reading will be really red and orange, like the whole reading. And I'm like, oh, okay, like that means something, right? There's layers to everything. And other times, um, a lot of times it could be like all metaphors that are related to sailing or dancing or reading. And that there's something about that that will speak to that person. Or maybe it won't, but usually it is for a reason. Maybe it speaks to me, but there's a connection with all of that. So everyone's experience and every reading in itself is completely different because we don't know what's going to come through or how it's going to come through, which is why I love it so much. It just keeps me coming back and coming back and learning so much every single time. So, yes, okay, enough of that. Let's get into the reading for today. And again, please send me your questions. There's a link in the show notes so that I can do more episodes. I just want to be of service. I'm like, hey, I'm your community, your neighborhood intuitive over here. If you need some guidance, send me your questions. Okay. So this question is from LB. And it says, I would be interested in your thoughts on how to deal with the terrible anxiety I feel when I cannot follow my spirit guides, when circumstances are out of my control when I'm not in the driver's seat. I have been following my intuition now for many years, and when I do, I am calm and content and feel peaceful. Life is beautiful and things work out perfectly. Or at least I am at peace with the outcome. When I can't follow the path I'm meant to, I feel anxious and uneasy, like I'm tempting fate, going against what should be, in brackets for me. Reality is I have a partner and kids and need to compromise and can't always have my way, but sometimes I have such strong gut reactions when I'm going against the pull towards a different choice or direction. So the first thing that I'm seeing and feeling at the same time is just this sense of being, oh, so vulnerable. Almost like a baby, and I'm seeing it being held in these huge, huge hands. And I'm seeing that you have this really, really big support team. So we'll say a spiritual support team. It feels like they're really active, they're really present. And when you say that, you know, you get these really strong messages and that you can feel that guidance. Like, I feel that with you. And really in that is, yeah, this vulnerability. And there's some grief around this and some sadness and some fear. And they're just showing me like this great compassion and love and just reassurance because they're like, okay, we're here. We're holding you, right? There's these huge, huge hands holding this small, small baby. And there's just a lot of love there. And they're saying that you're not, like you're not messing anything up. They're like, this is the game of life. Kind of like putting up their hands. It's like, huh, this is the game of life, right? It's okay. And I don't know if you feel it's a sensation of it's like I'm on a broken tricycle. Like I want to start pedaling. And it's like the pedals are broken. I don't know if you were ever a kid and you're on a tricycle and it's like you're pedaling and you're like, I'm not going anywhere. Like this feeling of I can't get going, like I'm stuck. And I feel really, really frustrated. And that frustration is almost turning into fear and it's turning into panic. Like, okay, no, no, no. I need to do this thing. Why can't I do this? I'm not allowed to do this. Like, it's not working. And then I'm seeing this other part of you more like up in the brain around like the third eye, like where we vision. And I always see it kind of like this execution center. And what I mean by that is like visioning out the future and making plans. And I'm seeing these lists. So I don't know if you make a lot of lists or if you have this feeling of needing to kind of well, you said be in control. That's what it feels like. I've got these lists and I'm making all these plans and I'm like flipping the list over. I'm checking things off. And I'm like, I want to do this, this, this, this. I know I need to do this, and then I need to do this, and then I need to do this. I feel very effective and very strong. And it's like, I know how to do this. And I'm putting my hands in front as like one step, two step, three step. And then it's connected, though, to this feeling deeper, um, where I was seeing with this feeling of feeling stuck and stalled out and so frustrated because I feel like there is this real strength up here in the mind of knowing what I want to do and being able to take action on a lot of things very effectively. But then they're showing me they're like, uh, it's like there's this need to trust, leaning, leaning into the trust that you know where you're headed and what's right, but then also like not needing to control that so much. Because a part of this path, of your path, feels very connected to weaving that with others. And so if I'm asking what it feels like for you when you're moving in the right direction, what does that feel like? And that feels like, okay, I'm skating, I'm like at the Olympics or something, and I'm with a partner. So I'm not alone. I'm not doing a solo, I'm doing like an ice dance. Oh, it's this feeling of just moving, moving smoothly. And I'm hearing classical music, and it's this beautiful dance where I do this one thing, and then my partner lifts me up and pushes me to do this other thing, and we work in sync. And it feels like it's important that there's someone else here in what I'm getting, right? I'm hearing like you're not here to do this solo. It's very important that there are these other people in your life that you may feel responsible to or that force you to compromise. That feels very divine. And if you are listening to yourself when you can, right? Like you've learnt this choreography, right? And this skating metaphor, you're doing to the best of your ability what you have learned and what you see in this dance. But you have to trust the partner there with you to do their part, right? And you can't really just go off on your own. That doesn't feel possible because of the container. The container is this ice rink and it's okay, I'm here and I'm doing this dance, right? I'm not here to do this on my own. I'm actually part of something bigger. And I forgive me, there's all going to be a lot of metaphor. Um, and it feels like that container is really important, right? I think sometimes, and I I definitely just resonate with this deeply, this feeling of, well, no, like I really know what I need to do. And almost thinking so many steps in the future. And then they keep bringing me back to this container. I'm using the word container. That's like, well, no, but this is actually the reality. The reality is this. And I think you even said that in the question, like, the reality is I have a partner and I have kids and I need to compromise. And they're saying, yes, like that's exactly purely the way it's meant to be. Um, is that you are in partnership and that you are in family, and you're meant to work within your limitations, right? You don't need to be taking action on everything that's so far beyond. Because if you bring it back to your reality, you're like, okay, what can I actually do today? What can I actually do within the boundaries of my life? Because that feels very important. And there's also this feeling of isolation that I get. So I feel like I'm kind of, oh, and forgive me. Yeah, this is bringing up a lot of feelings. Um I feel very isolated. If I I a part of me feels quite alone, and it's this sense of control, of needing can to control the outside world to feel safe. And I just feel like I'm on my own, needing to work really, really hard and to do this. And I keep seeing almost, it's very hard to describe. But let's say I'm I'm isolated in this tube, right? This tube of energy, and this is me. I'm within my own bubble. And they're kind of showing me, it's like, what if you are to expand that perspective and expand your bubble and just kind of allow that boundary down a little bit? So it's kind of like an energetic grid that instead of just containing me and it's very tight, and I'm in here working really hard to make everything be okay. It's like, what if I can pull that container open and expand it into the world around me, into the environment around me. It's like the energy of maybe when you're moving in a direction that isn't for you, or it's not that the direction isn't for you, it's the way that you're doing something. It's not really aligned. And you may, you may hopefully recognize this. But what I get the feeling is it's like when I'm moving from that energy, that energy that's actually not supporting me, I feel like I do have a lot of checklists. I feel like I'm very regimented and like, oh, I have all these things that I want to do. And my brain feels really, really busy, feels like it's a working overtime. And oh, like I'm having kind of a hard time catching my breath. It's like I feel very um nauseous as well. It's almost like if I can just, okay, if I can just do these things, if I can just keep moving on this list, like, okay, everything's gonna be in place. I'm following my guidance, everything's gonna be okay, I am safe. And oh, yeah, I can feel, I can feel the anxiety. And it behind that anxiety is just, I feel like I'm moving so that I don't have to slow down. Because if I'm gonna slow down, I'm gonna recognize that like I don't feel safe. And it's not necessarily this outside world. It's like how I feel inside. I don't feel safe inside. And so that that control, even though a lot of it, you know, has has likely served me in many ways and has gotten me to where I am, which feels very um important. Like I feel like there's so many beautiful skills and capacity to have accomplished what you've accomplished. It feels really, I feel really proud. I'm like, oh wow, like you've you've done a lot and moved mountains. But I still feel like there's something where I'm like ready to allow some of my walls down, or I just want to be able to relax a little bit and trust more because I do trust myself. Like I, at some level, I'm like, I trust that I'm getting guidance and I know how to take action on that guidance. I'm actually really good at that. And I feel very powerful and strong and capable. And yet, behind that, if I do slow down a little, oh, I just don't feel safe. I don't feel safe and I feel very nauseous. This feels connected to other lifetimes. So a lot of times I think if if we look at energy or we look at things from a spiritual perspective, a wider perspective, there's never really, there's not always like one answer. Do you know what I mean? There's usually layers and layers of answers or information that helps us understand ourselves better. And so I can't say, like, oh, there's just this one reason why, right? There's layers to it. And so I'm seeing that there's even this layer. There's a layer within this lifetime, you know, even growing up and experiences you may have had, oh, where I where I don't feel safe, right? And that doesn't have to look like what every everyone's version of safety may be different, but it doesn't have to be some big, grandiose thing that happened that made me feel unsafe. It can be as much as like not even being seen when I was younger, right? So there's this, there's this child piece to this, something about growing up. But also it feels like other lifetimes as well have contributed to this feeling of needing to control things. And lifetimes where like your autonomy was was taken away where you weren't able to make decisions for yourself, where it felt like very fated things that happened. And oh, yeah, the nausea is so strong. Hmm. Yeah, I feel very much out of control in these other lifetimes, like so helpless, where I couldn't do anything. So to survive, I need to control. And so that, you know, can carry over into today, where this control helps me feel like at least I'm doing something. And it's a perspective that again can help us move quite far and accomplish a lot, but it also at the end of the day, it's it's not always serving us at some level. And so I feel that there's like this inner, this inner part of me, and then there's outer part. And I'm operating in a way where if I don't get to, yeah, if I don't get to make these decisions, or if I don't get to take action, I feel very uncomfortable. I feel sick. I feel like I'm gonna throw up, like I feel really, really unsafe. Because yeah, I feel like if anything is going against what I have in my head here, these things, these checkboxes that are helping me uh feel safe. If anything goes against that, like anything could happen. And because I've had all these other lifetimes where I've experienced very similar things where I'm like, oh no, that actually happened to me. Like someone took my life, someone put me in a position where it was not safe at all. And this is built up, right? This sensation of like, I cannot let go of control. It is not safe. And so I'm just seeing, yeah, this softening. It's like, okay, if we can like remove some of these, this, this barrier a little bit and let our guard down just a little bit. And again, this might be very subtle for you, right? What I'm describing might sound very dramatic, but it might be very subtle in your everyday life. And no one would have any clue, you know, that you might feel some of these sensations, or that I don't know if you do feel isolated or alone at times. And it feels like if there's a softening that happens and I can expand out my energy a little bit and say, okay, this is actually my container. How can I work with who's in this container with me and just realize that I'm not always needing to drive this ship and it's actually okay for me to let go a little bit. It also feels connected to my throat. And I don't know if in your life you feel like you actually communicate the things that you see or that the things you want to take action on. That could also be something where actually saying, oh man, I really have this feeling and I want to do this thing, and then actually sharing that. And I don't know if you do express that or not. I think, well, again, a lot of times messages move through me and I will resonate with a lot of what's there. Um, and then I'm called to share something. But I've yeah, recognized something recently within myself, which is for some reason it's like I assumed that I'm like not allowed to ask for certain things or not allowed to express my desire for something, or I thought that I have because it's so strong within me. And yet I realize it's actually stuck and I haven't vocalized that. And so the people around me really don't have any idea how strong my feelings are about something or these things that I really want to do or need. And when I actually say it out loud, they will respond in ways that maybe I wasn't expecting, which is, oh, how can I help you do that? Or I had no idea you felt that way. So there's something again about pains from other lifetimes and wounding in the throat, which feels like, oh, this feeling of needing to control and of feeling really helpless and like out of control. Something gets stuck at the throat where I maybe haven't, and when I say I, I mean you, because I'm experiencing it first person, but I don't know if you felt like you haven't been able to always express those things. I need this. This is really important to me. I need help with something. That feels like a really big deal. Again, it feels like this being allowed to soften into support, soften into even if that just means like a recognition of the container that your life is, that it does exist in this environment with all these different energies and people and things happening, and that that's the way that it's meant to be. And then that takes some of the pressure off of feeling like, no, I have to do this, this, this, and this, like I have to keep going because. I'm, you know, you're very capable and very powerful. And sometimes I feel like that can be very frustrating when then, you know, your human self is put in this situation where sometimes you're like, no, I just need to go, go, go. Like, I need to get this done. And you see this huge vision and these very specific things for your future or where you want to go. And yet you're like kind of looking around, you're like, but hmm, I'm in this body with these people in my life, or there's certain things going on, and like, huh, why can't I just do this other thing? But this feels important. So again, note that you have a very, you know, very powerful soul, a very capable energy, and that that's actually meant to be in the container that you're in. So it's how can we lessen the stress by accepting the actual reality? And that a lot of those feelings of being terrified, of having so much fear and being helpless, that isn't necessarily indicative of what's actually happening, but it's some older wounding that's occurred, you know, for many lifetimes and in this current lifetime, and maybe not even being able to express what you need, and then having to again isolate and isolate and go within. But it's just to remember that you, yeah, sometimes that reassurance of just like, it's like, you're not messing it up. It's okay. Like, and I see that, I see that there's so much support. And whenever it does feel sticky and you feel like you can't always take action in the way that you want to, it's almost, yeah, an allowance of, okay, this is the reality. This is divine. Like I'm here right now. I'm meant to be here. That's okay. I haven't messed up. I'm not being controlled. What other type of thing can I do in this scenario? How could I react differently? However, frustrating and then anxiety-inducing that is, there's something about you being in this specific life, in this reality that is exactly the way it's meant to be. And how can you soften into that a little and start to let go of a little bit of the control and see if the lessons are more about feeling safe around others, feeling safe in your own body, and moving from that place. And then that also takes a load off of the shoulders where you feel like you're actually having to direct all of this yourself and that things are gonna explode if you don't keep acting on everything. Because yeah, you're not meant to do this alone. And it again feels like when you're in sync with it, feels like a partner, it feels like others, and also in that divine way, being like, oh, I'm in this situation and that's divine, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Right. It's it's like you're doing this dance and you're weaving all of this together. You're not alone. And you're not meant to be doing all of this alone because of all the the wounding that we experience sometimes. It feels very unfamiliar and a little scary to actually hold the hand and trust that I'm meant to be here doing this with them and I'm actually supposed to trust them and they're gonna throw me to do this like triple cell cow loop and you know, land, and I can do my part as best that I can, but that it's I'm meant to be doing it with other people. And yeah, if if there's something around expressing that can help with that, if that's just stating how you feel, and it might be a process that takes a while, like even if it's not comfortable, something about using the throat more, using the throat more, saying how you feel, what you desire, what you need, can you start to open that up a little bit with the people around you so that they maybe know how you feel? And maybe they can then step in and say something that you would never expect that may help you get to the next place you want to go. So, yeah, okay, hope that was helpful and sending lots of love. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity. It was an honor to be in your magnificent energy. And that's it for today. Thank you again for listening. If you'd like to book a full reading with me, there's a link in the show notes to do that. And keep sending me your questions. Thanks so much. Bye.