Reading the Room :: Ep 2

Let's dive into the unseen realms and read some energy. I'm offering live intuitive readings and answering your questions on-air. In this episode we explore one listener's question about healing in a relationship after experiencing betrayal.

• (00:00) - Intro
• (01:52) - Q - After a betrayal, can I heal in this relationship or should I reconsider my future?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

From Divine Interruption, I'm Sarah Hildreth Rankin. And this is Reading the Room. Hi, welcome to another episode of Reading the Room, where I answer listener questions by doing a mini intuitive reading on them. So if you have a question about anything at all in your life, maybe you're going through something really confusing, or you're having a relationship issue or something with your career, you don't know where you're headed, maybe you have a health issue you're looking for, just another perspective on, or this could be something that happened in your past that never made sense. Whatever it may be, let's read the energy on it. I would love to be of service. I would love to support in any way I can. So if you'd like to send in a question, you can in the show notes. There's a link there. It's super easy. And it helps me actually do this because I'm loving this and I need questions to be able to read. So please send them my way. And you'll also be entered to win a free monthly reading with me. So an actual like full-length reading where we can delve into all the things in your soul and your energy and what's going on in your life. And if you have sent me a question and you don't hear it in this episode, just know it will be coming in the next one. Yeah, I think that's it. Let's read some energy today. And again, I don't know how long this is going to be. I might need to start setting a timer for myself so that I don't go too in depth. These were supposed to be mini readings, but we'll see. Um, but yeah, thank you for hanging out with me and let's do this. Okay, this question is from KJ. I have always stopped myself from getting too close to people because I am always let down, trust is always broken. I finally let my guard down and opened my heart to my current partner, and unfortunately went through some pretty intense betrayal and trauma early on. I didn't listen to my gut, and I'm mad at myself for that. I'm a very practical person and can look at things objectively, but I'm struggling to reconcile if the path I'm on and where I'm going is the right one. Will I heal and is this the person and the life for me? Or do I need to do some serious soul searching and ask those harder questions of myself and my partner and re-evaluate my future. Okay, so let's feel into this. And what's interesting is I feel like your soul energy is really connected to I'm seeing a lot of fairies. I'm seeing a lot of fairy energy, a lot of like divine child energy, like just this beautiful, open, loving connection. And it feels like it's even like a lesson or a theme in this lifetime to live with an open heart, and that you're actually meant to move through life with this beautiful open heart because that's like that's who you are, and that's the greatest challenge because you're continuously met with situations that haven't reflected that back to you, that you could be open safely, right? That you could connect with others. So, and of course, you know, these the lessons that we walk, it's like, why, why is something so easy for someone and not for another person? But it's sometimes always like the deepest, hardest, scariest thing is, you know, the thing that we're learning or that we're meant to work through. So it does feel like, yeah, I just see you with this big, beautiful open heart, like there's butterflies and there's sunshine and there's wildflowers, like this beautiful, like open heart energy and this almost like freedom-loving connection. Um, it's just, it's so beautiful. So it's almost like, yeah, you're meant to actually move through life in this way, like with this beautiful, curious, inner childlike energy. And then I see this image of actually it's your initials, and you're quite small, and you're kind of sitting beneath the initials and you're looking up, and you're like, huh, I'm not so sure about this. Like, I'm not, I don't know. I don't know if you've had big questions lately, or if there's this feeling of, is this what my life is supposed to be like? Like, who am I? You know, like this feels like such a big task. It's this feeling of these really big initials. Like, who am I? This is so much bigger than me. And I'm down here, and I'm kind of like, was this the way it was supposed to go? Like, I feel small, but my initials feel really big. Like, how do I reconcile these two things? And that does sound like a very, you know, very existential question. And if I feel into your path, if I'm like, okay, what does it feel like to be on, you know, the path of your life right now? And I see this beautiful stream. And if it's if it's like on a map and it goes from one end of the map all the way to the other, at one point it's like kind of, and you know what? It's interesting. It's showing me that it's all upstream. Like it's like traveling upstream, and then I get to a point where they're showing me that like you are right now, and it's like there's this huge waterfall, and I'm in the waterfall, like I'm at the bottom of the waterfall, and I'm just getting pummeled by water, and I'm kind of here, and I'm like, whoa, like I keep getting mouthfuls of water, and I'm trying to swim and just kind of keep myself afloat, but this water is pummeling me. And I know that I have to get up, right? Because there's a top of this waterfall, and that kind of feels like somewhere that I'm going. Um, and from up there, that feels like perspective. Like once I'm up there, I can look down and I can see how everything made sense. Like how I got here and why I'm here and how that all makes sense and how it all fits together. But when I'm in this space, I'm like, how on earth? Like, I don't think I can move that direction when I'm down here. I don't know how I'm trapped in this waterfall, right? And so it's almost like showing if if you pivot, you're like, how do I get out of this situation? And I see that you realize you're like, oh, I'm just gonna actually climb up on the riverbank here. So you climb out from under the waterfall because you know, there's actually earth around you, right? You get up onto these rocks and you just take this big deep breath. You're like, oh my God, like you're exhausted. You kind of just collapse on the earth, and then the sun comes out and it starts to slowly dry you. And I see you with a towel and you're gently drying yourself off. And there's actually these beautiful women coming to you, and they're like, you know, bringing you water and warm clothes, and they're helping you mend your wounds because you've been like trapped, you know, in this really tough space for a while, is what it feels like. And it's just taking time. It's taking time. You're taking time out. Um, it feels like time out to really like they're saying, like, mend yourself, true care. Like, what does that look like? It's space, it's kindness, it's love, it's friendship or kinship with other loving beings who can just kind of help you and hold you and hold space for you. And it's like once I've slowly, I don't know, taken this time out on the side of this riverbank, and I've been in the sun and I've kind of rejuvenated myself and I've bandaged my wounds, it feels like now I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna actually get to the top of this waterfall. I'm gonna get on my path, but I'm gonna have to climb it from the side. Right. So then I see you starting, you feel stronger, you feel rejuvenated, you feel a bit fresher, and you feel kind of ready because you've had this space. It feels like space was really important to be able to feel yourself because before all this, oh, I was just being pummeled. I'm like, I can't even look up and see up there. I can't see my future or where things are going because of the water that's like literally just drowning me again and again, right? And now I can actually start to climb. I see you climbing the rocks up the side of this, you know, huge mountain, right? That has this waterfall. And it feels like something about a new path, like doing that, taking this pivot, taking some time, mending the self, coming back to the self. And I just feel warmer, like there's something about being dried out in the sun. I just feel so loved. I feel so much more free. I just feel like I can, yeah, I feel really connected to things. And from there, yeah, there's almost like then I have the strength to start climbing up the side of this mountain. Like I have new, yeah, renewed strength. So I don't know if there's anything that resonates with you about that, and maybe like where you're at right now, if things have felt really confusing or like things just keep coming, and it's like I can't really get it's like getting yourself out of a situation to be able to see it a bit more, to feel yourself. Now, when it comes to relationships, I just always want to say, like upfront, take this with a grain of salt, allow what feels right to you to, you know, stick with you and just let go of anything else, because I think a lot of times when we're looking for guidance, and I know me specifically, have had experiences where someone has said something about a relationship and it's really intense, right? It can be really triggering. And it's just, I just want you to know that what I'm gonna feel into here, um, you get to decide what makes sense to you, right? And this is for right now. Things could shift, things can change based on how you show up tomorrow, right? The energy can shift and change, and so can you. So there's no right or wrong here. This is just me. I'm gonna just kind of feel into each side of your question. And like, what am I being shown? And what does that look like? And there's no need to make any drastic changes. You run this through your own um intuition. And also, I'm just seeing it from this really broad perspective, right? You can probably fill in the gaps for yourself. So it feels like if I feel into two paths, like you're saying, like, okay, do I need to like reevaluate things with my partner and my future? Or is this kind of for me where I'm at right now, my life and my partner? So when I feel into staying where you are right now, what does it feel like if I just keep doing what I'm doing? Am I gonna heal through this and the things that I've experienced with this person? Um, where will things go? And when I feel into this, I'm in a forest, it's dark at night, and I feel like there's like ghosts popping up. I feel kind of afraid because it feels like I'm being confronted by my ghosts, right? It feels like past trauma is kind of popping up all around me. And I'm like searching around. I'm like, oh my gosh, there's something behind that tree. And oh, there's a sound over there. Like, I feel like I'm not safe. I don't feel like I can um, I can't see any sort of light. Like, I feel like I'm in this forest. I'm like, oh my god, I just don't kind of feel safe. And how do I like exist here? And there's something about you. I see you kind of putting out your hand, and I'm like, okay, so if your partner's there with you, what is that like, right? And you put out your hand and you're kind of like, okay, I think I can do this. I can confront what scares me. I can look at what's happened. And this can be in so many ways, right? It doesn't have to just be the experience you had with your partner. It can be everything that that brought up for you, right? The betrayal that you experienced maybe obviously is bringing up other things that have happened as well. But I see you saying, like, okay, if we're gonna do this, I need you to come with me. So you put out your hand and like you need to come with me into this darkness to confront these things with me. And you need to be with me every step of the way. That's what I'm feeling like in terms of healing or in terms of being able to be in this situation. It feels like, oh, I just want someone to hold my hand and know that they're there with me. And I'm just, I'm not sure. So I'm seeing you reaching out the hand and I'm seeing the hand kind of come for a moment, but then I see the hand maybe like kind of like letting go. There feels like this sensation of maybe my partner like wants to do this, but isn't it doesn't feel as solid as I want it or I need it to be, right? Like to confront this or to feel safe in like exploring. I feel like there's like more of like a distracted energy, or I just kind of see it kind of dissipating. Like the hand's there and the hand's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now I'm like into this and I can do this with you. But then it doesn't necessarily stay there, or it's not consistent and strong and gripping onto me, like, okay, I'm here with you, right? And that feels like what I want and what I need to kind of move through this. Yeah, it feels like there's like some energy of distraction, or maybe I'm here today and I say I'm gonna do that, but then tomorrow maybe I change my mind, or it doesn't have to be a really negative thing. It just might be having it's like the feeling of the other person not fully understanding or grasping that or not being able to hold that level of um coming with me into the darkness that I need. So then when I feel into, okay, what does the path feel like when I reevaluate, or when I'm like, okay, like what I'm doing right now and who I'm with right now isn't for me. What does that feel like? What does it look like if I do something else, right? Go in another direction. And this, we're in a forest again. And I there's some light in the future, but I feel like I feel really scared. I feel really scared. And so now I'm running, right? And this time I'm running to go, I'm like, I can outrun the fear. Like I'm just gonna leave and I'll go really fast and I'll just like outrun the fear to get to the light. Cause I think there's some light over there, some sunshine. Maybe the day is gonna break. But it feels like I'm still, there's a lot of fear, and like almost like there's a bear with me, like there's like a dragon, right? There's because it brings up our fears, right? I'm seeing a dragon and the dragon is like opening its mouth and breathing fire. And then I get swallowed up into that. And I'm like, no, no, no, like it's supposed to be different. Like I know, and I turn into ash. Like I get burned to the ground and I turn to ash. But from here, this isn't the end of this. Then I see you emerging from the ash like a phoenix. So there's like a rebirth energy. There is, and I see this like big, beautiful like mama phoenix, like this big bird who's coming down and she kind of like picks you up, this baby phoenix, and is like, okay, like there's there's something else here. We can be reborn, there can be new possibilities, something can change, something can shift. Um and there's something around, like when I feel into both of these paths, right? There's something about confronting a fear or confronting fears, like regardless, right? Like it feels like this is something that is coming up for a reason. And it's like, okay, and I if I go back to your question, I feel like you're actually asking exactly this. You're like, okay, is there some serious soul searching here? You know, are there harder things that I need to look at? And it feels like either way, this is coming up for a reason, and it's going to come up no matter what. And it just wants to be looked at and worked through and healed. And that all feels very possible and very on purpose. And if I feel into um your person right now, and I was just like, okay, is there any other connection there, any other information? Um, like around the dynamic, I'm seeing another lifetime. And it's interesting. Again, there's this like uh 60s, 70s, like hippie vibe, like free love, like flower child energy there. But it feels like in this other lifetime, you're a female and your partner's a male, and you connect at this festival kind of like Woodstock or something, and you fall in love at like the just the most beautiful, like historic time when there's all this like free love and change and the world and standing up for our rights, and it just feels really, really beautiful. So you fall in love with each other, and for you, it's just like beyond like this deep connection. You're like, this is so beautiful, and this other person is the same. But then it feels like he in this lifetime takes this very literally, like this idea of free love, and almost like for you, you're committed to the partner, and it felt like you guys were in it together. And then it feels like his energies get distracted. He's like, oh, well, it's this is what we're into, right? We're into this vibe, this hippie vibe, and we can fall in love with everyone all the time. And there's no problem in that, right? And it feels like other relationships happen. And there's this feeling of like that actually breaking my heart in that lifetime. Like, oh, that's not actually what I wanted. Like, I believe in these things, but I wasn't so literal in like, let's open up our relationship and you can have other relationships. That doesn't feel like that doesn't feel right to me or like what I really wanted, but there's this feeling of like the relationship continues because of the dynamic. It feels like there's this belief for you in that lifetime. You're like, whoa, but this was so beautiful, and this is my person, and there's nothing else out there for me. Nothing could ever take the place of this like epic love. And so you stay in this relationship and it's almost like you allowed it, and there's this power dynamic where for you it's very painful and upsetting, and like you actually really resent that. Um, but his energy is kind of like he just thinks it's okay because he's like, oh no, you were into this, right? You've always been into this, and it's totally fine. And he kind of just, I don't know. It feels like he's just kind of allowed to do what he wants. And for you, it's not okay, but you do not know how to almost like stand up for yourself or say, like, actually, this isn't what I meant. Like, I believe in these things and it's beautiful that we can share love with others, but I really need your commitment. So it felt like you stayed together in that lifetime, but felt a growing resentment over time because your heart was broken and you didn't know how to express that. And you were actually so devastated by the fact that he didn't recognize that that would break your heart, right? It's like this double heartbreaking. And it feels like he's just kind of going through life. Um, and he's just kind of like getting the things that he wants, and he's just okay with it, and you're really not okay with it. Um, and you're there when he needs you to be, and he loves you, but he also gets to do all these other things that are really kind of breaking your heart on this side. So I don't know, that's another lifetime that came up that I don't know, might be attached to a dynamic, or yeah, I just feel this sensation of like distraction or like there's something else. So that's what I'm feeling around that. Um and then, you know, there's that when you say that feeling, you're like, oh, like I have stopped myself from getting close to people. Why is that, or how has that happened? And yeah, I see this energy and this beautiful, almost like sacred energy that comes from your sacral, and they're kind of it feels like it's kind of flowing out. It like it's giving my energy to others, like I'm I'm sharing it with others in terms of other relationships or giving of myself in one way, where from the outside it would very much be like other people are receiving my energy and my love. But then I also see then up higher in the heart, the heart feels like, oh, but the heart is not, I don't let myself get close to people. And it feels like from the outside it looks like you're getting close. But for you, yeah, deep down, it feels like there's like this holding back. And it feels like I can give freely in one way, but I'm always kind of watching because I want to see what they do with that. And if they do with it and they hold, you know, they hold respect there and sacredness, then maybe I'll open up this other part of myself, my like deep, deep heart. And in the heart, it feels like there might be unhealed. I'm seeing different versions of yourself. And what's interesting is that these other versions, it was almost like each time they encountered a trauma or a pain or a betrayal, they started to build like a fortress or a wall. And I'm almost seeing this version, these versions turn into like warrior women. Like it's actually quite beautiful, like these beautiful, strong uh women warriors that are like in your heart, but they're like building this wall and this fortress because of like we need to keep ourselves. Safe. And that feels very valid. Like there's a reason why they're doing that. These versions of you are really trying to protect your heart, right? Your heart is sacred. And I don't know if there feels like there's a connection to the mother or like the mother side of your family, or uh it could be directly your mother, but on this side, there's this energy. It's like red, and I feel it just almost like flowing out. It's like I can't, um, and red to me, a lot of times means like safety and security and home and how we feel rooted and cared for in our lifetime. And it feels like this energy just flows through my hands. Like I'm trying to grasp it or I've got a cup and I'm trying to like scoop it up. I'm like, oh, I need to hold on to this, but it just kind of flows. So I don't know if there's anything where you haven't been able to hold that energy, or if your mother's energy was taken away from you or wasn't available, but it feels like, yeah, I'm trying to hold on to it and I just can't. And then if I shift to the father's side, this feels more like I can't get into that energy. Like it's almost like a stone. I see these like big stones and they're built up into a tower. And I see kind of you on the outside, like kind of trying to get in there. You're like, hey, like I can't get in. I want to get in. And it feels like there's almost, again, this warrior version that's almost like throwing stones at it and being like, hey, open up, open up, or like, let me get in. And yet underneath there, I feel like there's a lot of um pain. Like I feel really sad. I feel sadness underneath and like hurt underneath um this kind of like, I feel a little bit angry that I can't get in there, but I also that comes from like pain. So again, this doesn't have to be um literal in any way, right? I'm just feeling these two energies from like mother and father. It could go down a family line. So even if that's not your direct experience with either your parents, it could be energy that's carried like ancestrally that, you know, runs through your mother's side of the family, your father's side. They don't even have to be um alive in this lifetime, right? It's more just those formative energies that form us that we bring into our lifetime. So I'm seeing that, yeah, there's something about kind of like what can you, you know, where do we go from here? Having um more connection to this. There's something about really reparenting yourself. There's this beautiful, like, yeah, truth warrior energy in you. And it's it's using this inner warrior that we see versions of her, right? Building up this wall in your heart to really protect you. But it's now saying it's like, okay, how can we use that energy and those warrior versions of yourself to now help you honor and actually open up your heart, like have that version of you and those versions of you help you now to be able to connect with your heart and open it up instead of having to protect it. So if we look at truth, and you know, we get really deep with this, but when I feel the energy of truth, like truth is love, right? Like when we're really in touch with our truth, we're like, whoa, like that's love. So regardless what actions you take or where you're at today, like it seems like the question that's coming up is like, if I truly loved myself, like right now, and this is pretty deep, but like what would I do in this moment? And then just taking, you know, one step at a time as to what that would look like. And maybe right now that looks like, oh, I'm gonna take a nap, you know, like that's actually what I really, really, really need to do. There's all these other reasons why I tell myself I can't, or maybe I shouldn't, but I'm gonna find a way to really love myself. And it feels like over time that can start to maybe shift or like illuminate some things. Because again, this isn't about leaving or staying or doing this or doing that, or, you know, you get to decide all of that. But it feels like sometimes that can be really intense to think of it as an either or. But even if just you start from a place of, okay, I'm just going to truly in each moment keep asking myself. And this sounds, I don't know, can sound like a lot easier than it is, um, you know, to actually ask those big questions of us, but this truth feels connected to your love, which just feels connected to everything and like the path that you can walk, right? Where you're meant to be able to open up your heart and like walk this path of going through that. And that's huge and it can be really daunting. But if we just start at that one little step of, okay, that actually needs means that I need like some space today, and I'm gonna go for this walk instead of doing this other thing, or I'm gonna have this conversation and actually ask the person I'm with how they feel about this. And normally I wouldn't do that. You know what I mean? Because of all these reasons, or I feel scared, or I feel like I'm gonna get hurt again. It's just like, okay, how can we keep showing up for our heart? And then it will really start helping you, actually guiding that path. And I already feel like you're so connected with this. Like, I don't know, even just by if I'm just quickly scanning over like your question again, I'm like, oh man, like you've been aware of so much, but sometimes also when we're in a dynamic or we've been living in a way and it's so hard to shift that or know exactly what to do with that or which, it can get so complicated. So yeah, I'm just sending you so much love and strength and like that warrior version of yourself, but also this amazing, like dreamer, I don't know, flower child energy that's in there. And maybe you resonate that with like with that, or maybe you don't, but that's kind of what your soul energy is showing me. There's a lot of support out there for you, and like you feel just so can't describe it, like connected to divine energy in general and can bring so much like uh, yeah, just like magic to everyday life. And that's that's kind of a guide for you in terms of like how do I want to feel? It's like, oh, freedom is probably important at some level. Like that would actually feel really good to feel free and to feel open. And if you don't feel like that at all, like that's okay. But that's kind of where your soul wants you to start moving. It's like, oh, I want to feel like every day's kind of magic and I can dream and I can feel safe to lie in a field of flowers and just like relax, you know? That's where it wants to take you. So yeah, one step at a time. And yeah, this isn't just in this lifetime. This this goes beyond that. Oops, getting very emphatic here. Um, this energy that you may feel also in dynamics, like, isn't just, you know, from your years here. It goes back, which makes it even trickier. Yeah, I'm just sending you so much energy and love because it does feel like there's a lot of magic there, and you are so equipped for all of it. It's just really about, yeah, being that love for yourself and what exactly does that look like in every day. Okay, that's it for today. Thank you for hanging out with me in the ethers, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.