EP3: This Is Growing Up

This week on Trip to the Beer Store, we crack open another questionable (but hopeful) brew and let the conversation spiral exactly where it shouldn’t.

We’re talking about the weird reality of getting older—like how cutting grass somehow became a personality trait. We rank our Top 5 Situations to Have a Beer (some valid, some… deeply concerning), and take a nostalgic detour back to that iconic old school lunch pizza that somehow still lives rent-free in our minds.

As always, expect a few completely unhinged side quests, random debates no one asked for, and the kind of chaos that only happens when you mix friends, microphones, and just enough alcohol to make bad ideas sound brilliant.

Grab a drink… you’re gonna need it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

I was ten years old. Cleats on tight. Heart pound Friday night.

SPEAKER_05 0:17

Alright, guys, we're back with another episode of a trip to the beer store with my good buddies here. And we're off.

SPEAKER_07 0:25

So guys, um I'm gonna I feel like I'm gonna get some backlash for this topic, uh, starting out with this topic. But um as you guys both know, I had a birthday recently. Yeah. Right? And just turned the ripe old age of 25. I'm officially ripe. Yeah, I'm officially unk, is what I have been told.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

Really?

SPEAKER_07 0:47

My younger sister has told me that. Um my sister-in-laws have both told me that I am unk.

SPEAKER_06 0:54

But they're all like actual children, right?

SPEAKER_07 0:56

Yeah, they're my my sister is 20. She's gonna be 21 here pretty soon. My older sister-in-law is 20, and then there's one 19-year-old. So not a huge age gap, but um good enough for unk. Yeah, apparently I am officially unk, which I don't know what that makes you guys. What does that make me? Y'all are like grandpappy or something. I don't know. But um just in this few weeks that I've been 25, I've learned a lot about myself. Okay. And I really I just wanted to use this time to see if this was a universal experience, okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:36

Universal experience.

SPEAKER_07 1:38

Yeah, y'all, y'all are both a little older than I am. Thank you. Uh just a little, you know. So I just wanted to ask. A lot. You know, I text I text K Dog the other day, and I said, you know, there's great enjoyment I get from just cutting my grass, listening to old country music and drinking beer.

SPEAKER_05 2:01

And the joke is that you're my son. That's like one of my favorite things. Yeah. It's like you are my son.

SPEAKER_07 2:06

But you know, when I was, even when I was like 21, I had no interest in doing that. Like I would much rather go out and be social. But there are a lot of times now where uh, you know, somebody will text me to go invite me to go do something, and I'll like side-eye my wife, and I'm like, no, I've got we just got a lot of stuff that's going on, you know. Like, what kind of shoes were you wearing? Um, I haven't moved on to the pawpaw shoes. I'm pretty much like exclusively a van's crocs.

SPEAKER_05 2:36

Start cutting your grass and crocs.

SPEAKER_07 2:38

Start is it crocs?

SPEAKER_05 2:40

Crocs.

SPEAKER_07 2:41

Maybe I've got to make it to 30 for the crocs. Maybe that's what it is.

SPEAKER_06 2:44

I don't think I wore crocs till I turned 30.

SPEAKER_05 2:47

We well, we used to have like an unwritten rule in our house that uh crocs were not allowed. No crocs. Until until my good friend Cody Ward talked me into uh trying some on at the mall where we were. I was like, oh, I hate that I love them so much.

SPEAKER_06 3:03

It is absolutely insane because I had a friend that bought a pair and he was like, hey man, I bought these and they're too big. Do you want them? I was like, free shoes? Heck yeah. I don't know. I'll take out the trash room or something.

SPEAKER_07 3:15

Yeah. So I just wanted to ask you guys, you know, is this just me? Or I I've noticed myself, like I really I like going in a hardware store now, you know. I like I like uh I went to Harbor Freight the other day just because I saw they posted they had some stuff on sale, you know.

SPEAKER_05 3:36

Welcome to the big leagues, baby.

SPEAKER_06 3:38

So um who knew how much money that I spent monthly at Harbor Freight on things that I don't need, you would be astounded.

SPEAKER_05 3:46

Are you absolutely positive your wife's not pregnant right now?

SPEAKER_07 3:51

Uh I don't think so. I I hope not. I hope not. Um I think I just I don't know if I've been getting bullied for being unk or being older or whatever, but I I'm just gonna embrace it.

SPEAKER_05 4:03

You know, it's it's like a calling. Am I not lying though? Like you're just like you get to a point where you're like, uh, man, I just want to like build things and like make life better. You know what I'm saying? No, absolutely. Really, it's a it's a whole it's a whole part of the growing up process. And it is, and I'm now you're seeing, now you're feeling it. I know exactly the moment in time it happened to me.

SPEAKER_06 4:27

My low back starting to hurt a little bit, you know. Well, it was wild because for me it was back at like Christmas. I was like, I think I want to start doing some woodworking. And then like January, I look in my in my shop, and I've got like there's a there's a miter saw, there's a table saw, there's a band saw, there's all my hand tools, all my power tools, and I'm like beginning. And I'm like, oh dear lord, I'm never gonna financially recover from this.

SPEAKER_07 4:54

No, it's just it's funny because you know, in my I've always had older friends. Like I don't I don't think I've ever had a friend group that was predominantly pe people my age. Um, so I always feel like the young guy, but I was talking to my papa and we were talking about cutting grass, and no joke, we talked for 45 minutes about how much we like to sharpen lawnmower blades.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

So I went through this with with my friends as well, uh, before we all started hanging out a lot and before par and all that. And it was a thing, it was like a huge like man, I'm gonna sweat and drink some beer on Sunday and before or Saturday or whatever, before a football game or something like that. Man, this this yard's about to catch the work.

SPEAKER_07 5:41

Yeah. Well, I I knew that I was I was really getting old and my interests were changing because I went down a TikTok rabbit hole of what the most efficient pattern to cut into your grass is.

SPEAKER_05 5:57

Oh, you've been you've been like bad.

SPEAKER_06 5:59

Oh, it's bad, man. It's really bad. Like I'm personally terrified because I'm coming up on a very important birthday, and that's 35 next year. Wow. And I think I have to make a very important choice. Do I get really into World War II history or do I get really into smoking meats? Because I feel like those are the two things you've got to make a decision at at 35.

SPEAKER_07 6:22

Purely for selfish reasons, smoking meats is my vote.

SPEAKER_05 6:25

I I say you can do both. I say do both.

SPEAKER_07 6:30

While the meat is smoking, you watch World War II documentaries.

SPEAKER_06 6:35

I gotta do something, and currently I gotta work through those books that your wife is making me read. It's killing me.

SPEAKER_05 6:41

It's kind of like uh, what was it uh a couple of months back? All the social medias or TikToks or whatever were like, why do men like the Roman Empire so much? I remember this. Like for some reason, and then I got to really thinking about it, and I was like, man, why do I love to learn about the Roman Empire? God's just cool.

SPEAKER_07 7:02

We like history.

SPEAKER_05 7:03

Yeah, no, it's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_06 7:05

I mean, it is I've always been a huge history guy. Loved it. And I mean, why not the Roman Empire? It's probably one of the greatest examples of military conquest in all of history. So why would that not be pretty cool? Pretty cool.

SPEAKER_05 7:18

I want to stop this podcast. I gotta watch something real quick.

SPEAKER_07 7:20

Guys, sorry, we're gonna end it early. We're about to go watch some documentaries.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

I'm glad you brought up cutting grass though, because uh I just cut my grass for the first time this season, and it was I was manipulated into it by Brittany. My wife completely manipulates me this way. She said, Did you hear that? Somebody's cutting her grass. I'm usually the first person in this neighborhood to cut their grass, and that's always how it's been for years. And Tabitha across the streets cutting her grass, and Britt's like, I cannot believe you let Tabitha cut her grass before you. Wow, you showed up when I tell you I cut my grass before she ever finished hers, took it as a challenge. I was like, oh, and my lawnmower broke down five times.

SPEAKER_07 8:08

Tabitha's not gonna be more of a man than me.

SPEAKER_05 8:12

No offense against Tabitha, but I was like, I'm cutting this grass, let's go.

SPEAKER_07 8:16

Yeah, and I I think one of the reasons, and I've been like this for a long time, but I think one of the reasons I'm I'm enjoying stuff like that is because you said you cut your grass for the first time this season, your lawnmower broke down a bunch. I started weed eating, and I've had this weed eater probably six years now, five or six years now, and it has run like a top. No problems out of it at all. Um, I go to crank it up, and the thing won't start. Well, it has gas from last year in it. So I'm like, okay, let me let me change it out. So I run to town, go to Harbor Freight, spend way too much time in there.

SPEAKER_05 8:54

Way too much money.

SPEAKER_07 8:55

Got way more than I needed. I needed some oil to mix in with the gas and a new gas can. So I go spend way too much money, get way too much stuff. Get some gas, mix it up, put it in the weed ear. It fires up, but now it's not running right. So I've got to order a rebuild kit for the carb. But I think there's something I just get a lot of enjoyment out of like fixing things or there being a problem. Like um the pressure washing.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

Pressure washing has to be so satisfying.

SPEAKER_07 9:27

Has to be top five most satisfying things in the world because you have like that dirty concrete.

SPEAKER_05 9:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 9:33

You pressure wash it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:36

But it's the same thing with cutting a yard.

SPEAKER_07 9:37

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 9:38

You cut a line, and you come back and you barely come over that line, and then oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:45

We're never gonna see K Dog again as soon as he figures out there's a lawnmowing simulator and go on his computer.

SPEAKER_07 9:51

He needs a VR lawn mower simulator. Is there? Oh, yeah, there is, and there's a pressure washing simulator.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

Dang, I'll have to like delete my hunting simulator.

SPEAKER_07 10:00

No, you can you can cut your green fields in the in the lawnmower simulator.

SPEAKER_05 10:05

I need I need one that does just every day, all of it.

SPEAKER_07 10:08

Yeah, yeah. No, that's what you need. That's what you need. Have y'all seen the weed eaters that they look like a wheelbarrow? You like roll them around? They're like for people who can't carry the weed eaters anymore.

SPEAKER_06 10:18

I have not seen that.

SPEAKER_07 10:19

My uh my grandparents have one and it it literally it looks like a wheelbarrow, but at the front wheel it has a weed eater, and so you just kind of roll it around. I've not seen this. They're really cool because they they you know, when you run a weed eater, you can only run probably, I don't know, nine inches of string out of it. I mean, if you take the guard off, you can run as much as you want, but probably nine, ten inches is the most you're gonna run. Those things, man, the the length on them is crazy. It's almost as wide as like a push mower.

SPEAKER_05 10:48

I'm just getting grass with the weed eater. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 10:51

They're cool though. They're cool. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 10:52

Is it self-propelled?

SPEAKER_07 10:54

Theirs is. I don't know. I assume they're not all self-propelled, but theirs is.

SPEAKER_06 10:59

Like, I mean, they're throwing down money on a weed eater at that point, like self-propelled weed eater.

SPEAKER_07 11:03

Yeah, but it just goes, I think it proves my point further. They're both retired. You gotta get satisfaction, you know, cutting your grass.

SPEAKER_06 11:11

Gotta find something to spend money on.

SPEAKER_07 11:13

It's it's really funny because my my grandfather has cut the grass forever, right? You know. Well, when my grandmother retired, she went through this phase of being very gung-ho about like, no, I'm retired now. I I have time to help you. And so he bought her a little club cadet, like bright yellow mower, and she gets pissed if he cuts the grass without asking asking her to help. I called, I called her a few days ago, and I could hear the lawnmower running in like the background, and I was like, hey, Nana, what are you doing? Well, your papa's cutting the grass and he didn't tell me beforehand, so I had to run out here and get on my mower. Like, she gets upset about it.

SPEAKER_06 12:00

You know, and the truth of the matter is he probably did this for 40 years as a way to avoid spending time with her, and now he's retired and can't get away from her to cut the grass. Maybe not, maybe not.

SPEAKER_05 12:13

Well, you know, he's heard worse by witch father and witch father and the you know, even he had an uncle Rick, I guess.

SPEAKER_07 12:22

No, but uh yeah, I I'm glad to hear that it's kind of a universal experience. Um, and one thing, one thing I will say, uh and this might be a separate issue. I would not say that I am an introvert. You know, I'm dumb enough to to have a podcast with you guys and put us talking online for an hour at a time. So I wouldn't say that I'm introverted, but I will say the older I get, the more my wife makes fun of me because she is an introvert. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:52

I think if your wife could get away with it, she would never leave the house.

SPEAKER_07 12:55

Yeah, she's she's a big time introvert. So it's funny because I have been the like, hey babe, let's go hang out. Like, oh, let's let's go do this, let's go do this. And now I would say what, we probably hang out two to three nights a week on average. Yeah. The the our friend group probably hangs out two to three nights a week. Sometimes during football season, more than that, sometimes less. It just depends. Um, I have gotten now where you know, if it's past six o'clock and somebody asked me to come do something, if I've already had dinner, it's over with.

SPEAKER_05 13:31

Yeah, you've you've definitely hit the point. We've been there for quite some years, and we're like, oh man, but I've taken my shoes off. Yeah. My feet are reclined, you know.

SPEAKER_06 13:41

Yeah, I mean, it was like the other night you were like, come down to crawl. And I was like, I just got home from work. My feet are up on this table. I've got my comfy pants on. There is a 0% chance I'm leaving this house.

SPEAKER_05 13:53

I guess this is growing up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:55

Yeah. My my wife tells me it's my social battery. That my my social battery sometimes gets low. And it's not that I don't want to hang out with you guys, it's just sometimes I'm kind of done.

SPEAKER_06 14:08

You will not offend me by this because I promise you, I've I hit this stage years ago and I was like And I think a big part of it is as well, like if you're like, hey, come over to my house, it's a completely different question than hey, let's go downtown and watch the game at extra bar or something like that. Because I'll go to your house all day because I know that I know who's gonna be there. I'm gonna like the people that's gonna be there, and I'm not gonna have to deal with any, you know, extracurricular activities that happen outside of what we can control.

SPEAKER_05 14:41

Yeah, I'm with that.

SPEAKER_07 14:43

And you can come admire my freshly cut grass. These are the best lines in town. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:49

I'm gonna go out there and pee in random spots in his yard, so he's got dead spots he's gotta deal with now.

SPEAKER_07 14:55

I'm not that anal about it, but I there is just something I used to be.

SPEAKER_05 15:00

I used to be that anal about it. Really? And you may get to that point, you know, give it a give it a couple of more years, not maybe even a couple of more months. It's seems to be creeping on pretty swiftly.

SPEAKER_07 15:11

I'm just getting old, man.

SPEAKER_05 15:12

Yeah, old.

SPEAKER_06 15:13

May just wind up like me. I used to love to cut the grass, but now I could care less about it. Like, let me go do some woodworking, like even let me like turn a wrench. I like to do those things. I do not like to cut grass.

SPEAKER_07 15:26

I would argue woodworking makes you older than liking cutting the grass.

SPEAKER_06 15:30

I am old spiritually.

SPEAKER_07 15:33

Yeah. No, me too. Me too. I I I always feel like I'm the young guy in the circle, but um, yeah, I'm getting old. I'm just embracing it.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

You're fitting right in, buddy.

SPEAKER_07 15:43

I'm just embracing it, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 15:44

You're fitting up so proud.

SPEAKER_07 15:46

Yep. So um I I do, we're gonna get into some beers. Um, before we get into some beers, I have to apologize to Mr. Hunter because I told him that we would review a beer this week. And little brother, I'm sorry, I could not find it. Um, I have not forgotten about it. We will do it. Um, I'm sitting here looking at your father right now. Sorry, Sean. And we will get to it. Um, I promise, but I just couldn't find it right now. Um, so what we are gonna get to is some porch beers. I'm so excited about this. Um, and when I say porch beers, that is what they're called.

SPEAKER_05 16:27

Um my wife already stuck one off. She's enjoying it now.

SPEAKER_07 16:30

Yeah, the Brittany tax. Um, this is going to be your just run-of-the-mill light lager beer. Um we are trying to kind of keep it local. Um, this falls right under my list.

SPEAKER_06 16:44

This I don't even think we're necessarily trying to keep it local. We're just waiting on some of our outside of town listeners to decide they want to send us something in to try.

SPEAKER_07 16:53

Yeah, this is true. So this is going to be made by Porch Brewing in partnership with good people. Okay, so uh good people make some great beer. We're happy with good people. Um, I'm really excited about it. Uh, it grabbed my grabbed my eye. It's a white can with it.

SPEAKER_05 17:08

I love the can.

SPEAKER_07 17:10

I love it. Nice white can with gold lettering, little green and gold lawn chair on it.

SPEAKER_06 17:16

Are you old enough to remember these lawn chairs?

SPEAKER_07 17:19

I am. I am. Uh I don't know that I I feel like I would put my butt through it if I tried to sit in it.

SPEAKER_06 17:25

These are the absolute most uncomfortable lawn chairs that ever existed in all of his son.

SPEAKER_05 17:32

Before we had steel chairs and we were outside playing wrestling, you were smacking the crap out of your brother with this thing, you know.

SPEAKER_06 17:40

Yeah, because I mean it is a cheap aluminum frame with this plastic fibrous material that you know weaves together.

SPEAKER_07 17:48

Yeah. So another local beer uh based out of Birmingham. I'm really excited about it. Yeah, let's see how it is. Oh, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:06

It's like a beer round of applause. Let's get into it, don't we? Let's try this one.

SPEAKER_07 18:17

Oh yeah, that one's good.

SPEAKER_06 18:19

That was every bit as good as I was somebody was in.

SPEAKER_07 18:22

Oh yeah. It's got a little bit more to it than like a like a Mickey or like a Bud Light. I mean, it's got some some definite flavor to it, but it still is very light. I like that a lot.

SPEAKER_06 18:36

It does not taste like a mass-marketed light beer.

SPEAKER_07 18:40

No. Yeah, I'm gonna have to have uh six more of these just to make sure they're they're good on the sixth one. Um yeah, it's really good, actually. I'm I'm really impressed with that.

SPEAKER_06 18:55

I do have to say though, that while we were admiring the can work on this beer, these guys have actually gone far enough to put a Spotify playlist on the side of the can. You just open up Spotify. And we checked out the we checked out the playlist a little bit earlier today. And there's some absolute bangers on it. And the playlist was not what any of us were expecting.

SPEAKER_07 19:24

No.

SPEAKER_05 19:24

Um, so who owns this?

SPEAKER_07 19:27

So they're they're an independent company. It's porch brewing. They partner with good people, though. Okay. Yeah, so they're they're partnered with good people. Um, and they also make some cocktails and they make seltzers. So if you're looking for a local company that's making seltzers to support, check out Porch Brewing. It's really good.

SPEAKER_05 19:49

Yeah, we gotta start rating because this is uh it's really good.

SPEAKER_06 19:52

Yeah, you gotta watch out. K Dog's over here, he's halfway through a six-pack, and we haven't even rated it yet. So uh oh no, Brittany Nicole's here.

SPEAKER_05 20:04

That's my favorite beer.

SPEAKER_07 20:07

It's good. And I would I would also like to preface, these have been sitting out on the on the counter for what about 15-20 minutes now? This goes back to what we talked about.

SPEAKER_05 20:16

You could longer than that. You could drink this warm. You could this is uh all year round the fact that it's called porch beer, I mean, we could go sit out on the porch right now and drink the rest of this.

SPEAKER_07 20:27

Move the bike, move the pipe, move the bigger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:31

You're gonna hear a lot of vehicles.

SPEAKER_07 20:32

Yeah, I mean, I could so you know, we we've talked about supporting local, and I I really do think it's important and something I care about, supporting local. Um I think that if you are a person who likes Michelobe, if you're a poor person who likes Coors, Miller Lye, any of those kind of beers, um, this is gonna have a little bit more flavor to me. It's a little more has a little bit more body to it, but I think anybody who likes a lighter beer is gonna absolutely love this. And even if you don't like a lighter beer, if you're like a Budweiser guy, if you're a PBR guy, I think that you would love these.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

Yeah, I'm I'm completely sold on this one. This is really good.

SPEAKER_06 21:15

And I mean, just you know, being honest with you guys, I did have a heads up on this beer because I have had it before. Oh, gotcha. I didn't know that. I didn't know what you were bringing you. Like, and before we get too far into this episode, you know, if this episode sucks, Braden kept us in the dark on completely every aspect of it. So we've got no clue what's happening.

SPEAKER_05 21:33

Yeah, somebody near us has this on tap, right?

SPEAKER_06 21:35

Yeah, my buddy Jake down on Jake's on fourth.

SPEAKER_05 21:38

Ooh, Jake's on fourth.

SPEAKER_06 21:40

Yeah, he he actually introduced it to me. It was the only beer they had on tap when he opened. I wouldn't be mad about it. If this was the only beer I could go in there and drink, I wouldn't be mad.

SPEAKER_07 21:49

Yeah, big shout out to the five.

SPEAKER_06 21:50

And I drank a lot of them.

SPEAKER_07 21:52

Shout out, Jake.

SPEAKER_06 21:53

I mean I usually eat lunch there every Thursday at a minimum. I hit the special. Up man, whether it's the salmon or whether it's one of his burgers or whether it's one of his quick grab and go salad type deals, man, everything on that menu is phenomenal.

SPEAKER_07 22:08

Yeah. Big shout out to Jake. Um, guys, look, this this may be crazy, and I I'm different. I'm not I'm not like a portnoy, you know. I I think portnoy with his scale. Dave. Uh I think his scale, I I understand why it is so harsh. Um, but as far as what this beer is, this the name of the beer is a porch beer. I cannot imagine anything making this beer better to sit out on a porch and drink. So, in in the first time in the history of this podcast, I'm going five out of five for the porch beer.

SPEAKER_05 22:52

Five out of five.

SPEAKER_07 22:53

I can't think, you know, and with the context taken in, they're saying this is a beer to drink out on the porch. Can you imagine something making it better?

SPEAKER_06 23:02

If you say that I can tell you one thing that would make it better.

SPEAKER_07 23:05

Sorry, father-in-law.

SPEAKER_06 23:07

Gotta do it.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

I haven't turned it down for him.

SPEAKER_06 23:09

Gotta do it. I could say that if I could get this in a 24-pack and it comes with one of these folding lawn chairs.

SPEAKER_05 23:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 23:20

With porch beer on it, bringing it back. I would pay an absurd amount of money.

SPEAKER_07 23:26

Porch beers. If you're listening, I think there's a great opportunity here for us to partner together and make this happen.

SPEAKER_06 23:35

I mean, that is the perfect 25-piece lawn set.

SPEAKER_05 23:40

You're gonna come up this weekend, there's gonna be four of those on the front porch.

SPEAKER_07 23:43

And just think if that was a thing, you go, somebody calls you and says, hey man, we're having a cookout at the house, one-stop shop. You go get your beer, you get your chair. What else do you need? And they were the lightest chairs, too.

SPEAKER_06 23:58

Yeah, I mean, they were it was an aluminum frame with the cheapest possible plastic that dry rodted in like two days.

SPEAKER_07 24:06

Yeah. And look, I'm locking in five out of five. That's where I'm at.

SPEAKER_05 24:11

Five out of five.

SPEAKER_07 24:12

That's where I'm at, guys.

SPEAKER_05 24:15

Five out of five. Um, I gotta say I'm close, man. I gotta say I'm like just in your mind, what can make it better?

unknown 24:24

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 24:25

What can make it better? These have been sitting out for probably a half hour now. So imagine imagine if this was fresh out of a cooler on ice.

SPEAKER_05 24:34

Talking dirty. I just talking dirty there.

SPEAKER_06 24:36

I'm gonna imagine it being better. Gonna have to get that paywall in my soul so we can say some things.

SPEAKER_05 24:42

Man, I'm gonna I'm throwing this in there. I'm giving it five. You got to. I'm giving it five. 100% giving it five. Because, dude, that's it's so good. And you know, I'm not a beer guy. I like my light beers, basic whatever, you know, and uh that may turn some people off, you know, for me to like basic beer and give it a five, but at the same time, dude, that's but I don't even really think it's all that basic because like the basic light walk.

SPEAKER_07 25:10

Like um a micelobe to me doesn't taste like anything. Right? And no, no shade on my lobe.

SPEAKER_06 25:16

I've just drink a lot of them. Um I'll tell you, I think uh I think a micelobe ultra has less flavor in it than like a bush light. Yeah. I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_07 25:25

So to me, if you like a light beer, this to me has a lot more flavor than a micelobe does.

SPEAKER_06 25:33

I would like to agree with that. I want to reserve my five. Like I want something that's gonna just like completely blow me away. But I am gonna give this four and three-quarter bottle caps out of five.

SPEAKER_05 25:46

Four and three, hey, that's that's high. We're we're hitting it for that too.

SPEAKER_07 25:50

That's pretty, pretty great.

SPEAKER_05 25:53

He's like, leave the air horn out of it. And I'm like, uh, well, you know. So it sounds like we need more air horn.

SPEAKER_07 26:00

Porch brewing. I think y'all have done a fantastic job. And look, I'm not a big seltzer guy. I'm not. Most of the time, in my opinion, they taste like TV static. But porch brewing has done such a good job with this beer. If I see taste like TV static. That's what they taste like to me. If I see some of their seltzers, I'm gonna grab them and we're gonna try them just to see. You know what I mean? And porch brewing. Look, y'all have done a fantastic job. If y'all want to send us some seltzers, if y'all wanna if y'all want to get involved in the podcast, um, I'm really impressed. We would we would love to have you partner with us.

SPEAKER_06 26:37

I mean, not to mention between the three of us, we're in Birmingham at least 15 times a week.

SPEAKER_07 26:43

I I work very, very uh close to where they're they're located. So I would love to uh love to start a relationship with Porch Brewing.

SPEAKER_05 26:55

Yeah, this beer's gonna be a problem for me.

SPEAKER_07 26:57

Yeah. Yeah, I'm I'm really impressed. I'm really impressed. We're gonna have a toxic relationship. But the reason I snagged this beer, okay, guys, is I've had a kind of plan brewing in my head. Um, no pun intended. There we go. Um I've had a plan brewing in my head since before we recorded the first episode. And when I saw porch beer, it just immediately jumped out to me, and I was like, okay, I've got I've got an idea. So we're gonna play a game today, okay? And we're gonna piggyback off of Lane a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

I would like to I would like to jump in here real quick to say that uh we had some ideas for this show, but we were told to hold them together because this entire show, Lane and Kalen are going in completely blind. All of this was uh created by our our uh our son and nephew over here.

SPEAKER_06 28:04

I mean, it's like we've had two whole holidays to talk about is completely ignored so far.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

So all this is we're blind. We we don't know anything that's coming.

SPEAKER_07 28:16

So I think we've talked a lot about beers, right? In the first episode, we each listed our top five beers, okay? Or not for a desert island. For a desert island, right? And we've reviewed three beers at this point. Now the people are kind of starting to understand okay, what kind of beers does K-Dog like? What kind of beers does Lane like? But one thing we've said multiple times, and Kay, Kalen's already said it once this episode, this beer would be good in the winter, in the summer, it doesn't matter. So our game today is gonna be a blind ranking of the top five situations to have a beer in. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Well, let me introduce you to Jakes on Fourth, where great food meets even better drinks. Right in the heart of Jasper on Fourth Avenue, Jake's on Fourth is the place to be whether you're winding down after work, catching up with friends, or just chasing a good time. From mouthwatering meals to expertly crafted cocktails, every visit feels like a celebration. Are you craving something bold? Well, their menu delivers. Thirsty? Their drinks don't just hit, they impress. And the atmosphere? Gosh. Laid back, welcoming, and just the right kind of lively. So next time you're wondering where to go, you already know. Check some forth. Good vibes, great drinks, and your table's waiting. You got a Harley that's not running right, or just not hitting the way that it should? Then you need rooster cycles. Right here in Jasper, rooster cycles is where real riders take their bikes and they want it done right the first time. We're talking hands-on no BS Harley work. Repairs, upgrades, literally whatever your machine needs to run harder, louder, and smoother. This isn't some cookie cutter shop. This is passion, precision, and grit built into every bolt. And the best part, no runaround, no guesswork, just straight up solid work from someone who knows these bikes inside and out. You got a problem or just want more out of your ride? Hit them up on Facebook at Rooster Cycles and get your bike back to what it's supposed to be. Rooster Cycles. Because your Harley deserves better than average.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Soldier now in a foreign land. Abandoned building criminally walls. Just outside, I hear the enemy's call.

SPEAKER_06 31:04

Have you guys seen the video of this guy? And they're playing a game very similar to like what we're about to play. Except he's got um, they're all silhouettes of beer, and he holds up, he goes, What beer is this? And I guess the next one's like, What beer is this?

SPEAKER_05 31:22

I feel like I've seen something on that.

SPEAKER_06 31:23

I was on like episode or um, I was on like number four or five on the list, and I was like, I knew what every one of these was. I should probably drink a few less beers.

SPEAKER_07 31:33

It's like the old uh, what was the old uh Pokemon where they went to commercial and it was like, guess this Pokemon?

SPEAKER_05 31:40

Who's that Pokemon? What is that on WB or something?

SPEAKER_07 31:44

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_05 31:44

Where it like come swiveling up on the screen, and then it's like, guess this Pokemon.

SPEAKER_07 31:49

Yeah. And then the commercial would play, and then when they came back, you had to guess it. We have any Pokemon fans out there. You think any of our listeners like Pokemon?

SPEAKER_05 32:01

I'm sure one of your hosts does. You would be surprised. You would be very surprised.

SPEAKER_07 32:06

There was a weird thing with Pokemon where like I don't remember it a ton in my generation, and then Pokemon Go came out, and it like completely brought the all that stuff back.

SPEAKER_05 32:18

I feel like it's huge on Pokemon Go.

SPEAKER_07 32:20

Yeah, my wife still is.

SPEAKER_05 32:21

You know how many left turns I had to make before you ever got home just to go capture a Pokemon.

SPEAKER_07 32:26

Will you hit this block real quick? There's a Pokestop up here.

SPEAKER_06 32:28

Well, it's like, and beyond that, it launched the same time as Michelle Obama's big like school nutrition program. It was great getting active again. And I was like, in two weeks, uh Neantic and Nintendo did more for the health of kids than Michelle Obama did in eight years.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

Were custables healthy? Was that a was packaged grilled cheese microwaveable sandwiches was a healthy?

SPEAKER_07 32:57

Oh, y'all never y'all oh, this is I just realized this. Y'all never had Michelle Obama school lunch.

SPEAKER_06 33:04

I did.

SPEAKER_07 33:05

You did?

SPEAKER_06 33:05

Oh well, I did for a reason. Like I was working at a school, and so it was a lot of times it was just seen some of the things.

SPEAKER_07 33:12

Y'all realize my entire not elementary school, but my entire middle school and high school experience was Michelle Obama lunch.

SPEAKER_05 33:20

Wow. I no, I I haven't experienced that. Not not really. I've been I've seen some things and I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_07 33:26

So can I ask you a question specifically for my father? Yeah. Because he's gonna listen to this, and I want to know if you share the same feelings. All right. My dad has a my father. Has a I I don't even know that I can really put it into words, but I'm gonna try. He has what I would call a a primal, deep, like to his core, love and adoration for in his mind lunch room pizza. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

That well, yeah. And I think we were um I think we were brainwashed into that love.

SPEAKER_07 34:12

Do you think that pizza, like, would you say because my dad, the way he describes it, he has like a glint in his eye when he talks about it. Like Was he hurt worse by his father's? I've I've seen his Uncle Rip. I've seen him tear up talking about lunchroom pizza. Oh I almost died when I was born, and I've never seen him cry about that.

SPEAKER_06 34:37

There may be more to that than like I mean the thing is though, like which lunchroom pizza was did he go crazy about?

SPEAKER_07 34:43

He said he described this the it's a rectangle, and he said that there was sausage or pepperoni. There were two choices.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

Pepperoni. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 34:55

I was I loved it. Yeah. What remove yourself from the situation? Would you say, was that pizza actually that good, or was it just the environment?

SPEAKER_05 35:04

That's what I'm that's what I was getting to. We don't know. Because if you eat it now, it just reminds you of your childhood.

SPEAKER_06 35:11

Yeah. And it's not the same pizza.

SPEAKER_05 35:13

It's not that it's the greatest pizza. It's really not the greatest pizza.

SPEAKER_06 35:16

I don't know, man. They had the Mexican pizza. It was uh it came in an octagon when you got it, and that was, I mean, that was a phenomenal pizza.

SPEAKER_07 35:25

So let me expose my dad here just for a minute, dad. I'm sorry. People are gonna love this. It's funny. My dad found a company that was making those old school lunches and would freeze them by the case and send them to you.

SPEAKER_05 35:44

This wasn't like Southeastern meats, was it?

SPEAKER_07 35:47

I don't know. Okay, I don't know. All I know is that one day I get home from school and my parents had a ring camera, and I get a phone call from my my dad, and he goes, Son, there's a package on the porch. I need you to put it in deep freeze right now. And like, in like you would think this was a kidney that he needed to have implanted into his body.

SPEAKER_05 36:07

Listen, he's chasing that that childhood dream.

SPEAKER_07 36:10

Like he was so serious about it. And so I'd you know, I'd pick it up and go take it in deep freeze. Well, afterwards, he he like calls me into the kitchen later that night. He's like, son, like all serious. Like, I'm uh I thought he was gonna tell me I'm getting kicked out, or like I didn't know what was happening. He's like, son, I need you to try something right now.

SPEAKER_05 36:31

And he So did y'all not have the same pizza?

SPEAKER_06 36:34

No.

SPEAKER_07 36:35

No.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

What?

SPEAKER_07 36:37

I don't remember anything that we had that was good.

SPEAKER_06 36:40

The entirety of the lunch system changed when uh uh when Michelle Obama did that initiative with food and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 36:49

Yeah, I mean I remember when it changed, I didn't know that they took the only thing worth going to school for.

SPEAKER_06 36:54

Well, I mean, they still had they still had pizza and they still had like Crespitos and things like that. What was the pizza? It wasn't the same. Yeah, it was just different.

SPEAKER_07 37:04

It was just different. So I remember in elementary school, that was pre-Miss Obama. No, and like the food was good. I remember like going and it being like, you know, good food. Um, like you would go to like church on Sunday and the food afterwards, like that was the kind of vibe. And I remember when I moved to Jasper, that was kind of the same time that that all that stuff changed. And it was just different, man. We went like the mashed potatoes changed to instant potatoes, which I'm sure they were before, but they were just they probably had to stop using all the butter and the seasonings.

SPEAKER_06 37:45

Yeah, I mean it was like something that made it good.

SPEAKER_07 37:47

It was like you made instant potatoes and just mixed them with water with no salt, no pepper, no nothing. So and uh just a preface: I'm not mad at our lunch, ladies. I don't hold resentment. You girls did a fantastic job. Y'all were all fantastic. It's no hate towards y'all. Y'all were just cooking what you were provided.

SPEAKER_05 38:05

Um so is is that is that still happening? I mean, is it still the same menu?

SPEAKER_07 38:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 38:13

I'm sure it is. I'm sure that's it. I'm unknown.

SPEAKER_05 38:18

What's got me is like uh, you know, Kenzo come home talking about what they had for lunch, and it was like, what what do they call them? The uh uncrustables? Is that what it is? In a package, and then like uh grilled cheese that come in a little plastic sack.

SPEAKER_07 38:35

I ain't seen the plastic sack.

SPEAKER_05 38:39

Yeah, that's what's that's and and I'm like, golly, it's wild to me.

SPEAKER_07 38:44

As long as it doesn't have any red 40 in it, she'll be okay.

SPEAKER_06 38:46

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that like they just got to see lazy with it though. I'm sure as long as it just hit like a oh, it's gotta have this many calories, but it can't have this many, and it can only have this much food.

SPEAKER_05 38:59

Brandy's little sister goes to a Christian academy and they have Chick-fil-A every day.

SPEAKER_06 39:04

The Lord's chicken? Yes. That's because of the city. So they take applications for 25 year olds?

SPEAKER_05 39:09

I don't know if it I don't know if it's every day.

SPEAKER_06 39:11

But they're not they're not regulated in the same way.

SPEAKER_05 39:14

Right. But I'm just saying that that's that's wild.

SPEAKER_07 39:19

That's wild.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

Well, guys uh she went to a regular school for the beginning, like one month. She was like, I'm out. I gotta go back.

SPEAKER_07 39:28

Let us uh let us know. We'll put up a poll on the Facebook. Let us know what your favorite school lunch was. Um I'll have to think on what lunch was.

SPEAKER_05 39:38

I want to see a rating of the pizza.

SPEAKER_07 39:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

If you lived during the rectangular, whatever you want to call it, school lunch pizza, let's see what it is. Let's get your ranking. Let's go one out of what do you say?

SPEAKER_07 39:52

We got to keep it consistent. One out one out of five slices.

SPEAKER_05 39:54

One out of five slices. Yeah. The whole pizza.

SPEAKER_07 39:58

And I I will say, if there is anybody, y'all let us know on the Facebook. We'll make this post. If somebody comments, I want to know where your dad got the pizza from, I'll try to find out from my father. Because I know he's too those. Yeah, he got the plug. So, school lunch talked about. We have five situations to have a beer in. Same deal as we did last week, blind ranking. So if you give the first one number one, you can't use number one anymore. Okay. So these are the top five most common situations to have a beer in that I could think of. Okay. And my personal opinion is that any of these could go number one. I think it just depends on what your preference is. Okay. Before we get into this, I am going to open up one more for myself, if y'all don't mind. You want one? Okay, no.

SPEAKER_05 40:56

No, no, no. Go ahead, buddy. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 41:02

And since I'm not playing Why do you make such a mess every time you open a beer?

SPEAKER_07 41:06

It's talent, really. It's talent. Um, since I don't get to play the game, I'm gonna go ahead and say my favorite beer, my favorite situation to have a beer in right now is on this podcast. Ooh.

SPEAKER_06 41:19

So And you should all be having a beer while you listen to this podcast.

SPEAKER_07 41:24

Have a beer. Have a porch beer. Have a porch beer. Have a porch beer.

SPEAKER_06 41:27

Especially, you know, if you work in an office environment that is the prime time to be having a beer while you're listening to the show.

SPEAKER_05 41:34

They're like, but I listen to the show while I'm driving to work.

SPEAKER_07 41:37

So the first situation, since you just said work. The first situation is gonna be that after work beer. Or after an eight-hour shift, after a 12-hour shift, getting off before you get home and get in the shower, just immediately walking in the door, go into the fridge, cracking open one.

SPEAKER_06 42:03

So this is got home beer, not meeting up for a five o'clock beer with the COVID.

SPEAKER_07 42:13

This is getting off work, back hurting, feet killing, getting off after a long week on Friday. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:20

And then you throw the Friday in there. Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 42:23

Throwing the Crocs on.

SPEAKER_05 42:25

And like I said, I'm a whiskey drinker, so those moments are the moments that I do drink beer.

SPEAKER_07 42:34

Oh yeah. So it's one out of five. Whatever you rank it, that number's dead. You can't use it anymore. And y'all each have your own individual list.

SPEAKER_05 42:45

I'm going number two. I'm going number two right off the bat. Because that that to me is the that's the prime time where I would be like, boom, just a one in the middle. I need a porch beer right now. And then that we call those primers.

SPEAKER_07 43:01

Oh yeah. I need a pre-wiske beer.

SPEAKER_06 43:06

I'm just glad you're not going number two right now in that chair.

SPEAKER_07 43:11

We haven't confirmed that.

SPEAKER_05 43:13

Yeah, it's still up in the air.

SPEAKER_06 43:15

So for me, it's gonna be a little bit different, and it's because I drive an hour home. So, like, that really drags out. Because it probably would have been higher for me if you had said the five o'clock beer I meet up with the boys right after work, not even home. Just self-control.

SPEAKER_07 43:35

Well, you have that hour commute to kind of decompress, and I'm the same way. I work in Birmingham, so I kind of have an hour on my way home to chill out and decompress.

SPEAKER_06 43:43

Yeah, so for me, that's probably gonna come in at number four.

SPEAKER_07 43:47

Number four, Rain is taking the afterwork beer. Alright, alright. So, the next one we're going to, and again, I think all of these can. Go number one. I don't think any of these is a bad choice. The next beer is gonna be the next to a body of water beer. So next to a pool, on the beach, on the lake, next to a body of water.

SPEAKER_05 44:17

Talking dirty, buddy.

SPEAKER_07 44:19

Talking dirty. I'm telling you, man, I think any of these could go number number one.

SPEAKER_05 44:25

I hope I don't waste my I hope I don't waste my shot here. I'm going number one. Because I'm thinking Corona Beach.

unknown 44:35

Oh man.

SPEAKER_05 44:37

And again, I'm this is what type of beer guy I am. Oh yeah. Yeah. Number one. Well. I'm burning them early, buddy.

SPEAKER_06 44:51

You guys already know my opinion on Coronas. And um, you know, I hate the beach. I hate sand. Me and Darth Vader would have got along really well in that regard.

SPEAKER_05 45:04

You know, Bretton, I'd like to take back what I said about you. Were you hurt worse?

SPEAKER_06 45:10

Probably.

SPEAKER_07 45:12

But it's not it's not just by the beach.

SPEAKER_06 45:16

That is now a large portion of it. You said anybody of water, now it's been polluted. This is true. And for that reason, it will be number three.

SPEAKER_07 45:24

Number three. So you're taking that above the afterwork beer.

SPEAKER_06 45:27

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:28

Wow. Wow. That's a surprise. That's a surprise.

SPEAKER_05 45:34

He's bougie in his own way.

SPEAKER_07 45:36

Gotcha. Gotcha. Now, without a doubt, without a doubt, this would be my number one if I'm playing. If I'm playing this game, this is my number one without question. And I've already burned mine. You've burned your number one. The highest you can rank this as number three. Dang. But I know you pretty well.

SPEAKER_05 45:54

This is what it is.

SPEAKER_07 45:54

I know you pretty well, and I don't think this is your cup of tea anyway. Okay. Number three is gonna be the shower beer. Number one. The shower beer. It's number one for me without question.

SPEAKER_06 46:08

Immediately? Yeah, no, there's no there's no definite. Shower beer is the best beer.

SPEAKER_05 46:13

No, I do love a shower beer. Um, I just don't do it too often, I think, because it usually like that hurry up, jump, jump in, jump out type deal. Um I'm going, I'm gonna go number four on a shower beer.

SPEAKER_06 46:29

I mean, I would rate it even higher if it's a hangover shower beer. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:37

A little past halfway, we have Lane with number one the shower beer. Number two is still available. Number three is gonna be a beer next to a body of water. Number four is gonna be that after work beer, number five is still available. K-Dog took next to a body of water beer as number one, after work beer as number two, number three is still available, number four is gonna be shower beer, and number five is still available. Alright. So getting into number four on my list, we have the surprise beer, aka the your friend just tosses you a beer. Oh, okay. Hey, you want a beer?

SPEAKER_06 47:24

I had three of those this past weekend.

SPEAKER_07 47:27

Yeah. And this could be, this could be tied in to the free beer category, which I know we all love, but free beer is a little different. Yeah, you know, free beer can come from a lot of places.

SPEAKER_06 47:43

That's yeah, it it did because this weekend literally, Rooster pops out of crawfish, he's mad, he's taken off, he's like, I got all these beers, and just hands me.

SPEAKER_05 47:52

Rooster's the first one handing you.

SPEAKER_06 47:54

Yeah, he just hands me two nattties. Yeah. And then we're just chilling after that, and I'm like, somebody left beer in that bucket. And so somebody bought a bucket of beer and then just left some in the and so it's like three free beers this weekend.

SPEAKER_07 48:12

So that's gonna be the surprise beer. Surprise beer, the friend beer, toss the free beer.

SPEAKER_05 48:20

So the chances are that when my buddies throw me a beer, and they do, and I always appreciate it, that I have already started drinking bourbon. Absolutely. So I'm going number five with a buddy beer. I'm gonna I'm gonna keep three open for a sec. Um just because you know, I'm chances are I'm I'm definitely already on the bourbon.

SPEAKER_06 48:43

That's gonna be number two for me.

SPEAKER_07 48:45

Number two.

SPEAKER_06 48:47

Alright, so see, you always call it a joke, but it's the mantra that I live by. No, there's nothing wrong with my cold beer, next beer, free beer. No, my my favorite beer is a free beer. I don't care how it gets there, as long as it's free, I'm there for it. Number two is a cold beer. Number three is the next beer. So it's like, I mean, that that's the mantra.

SPEAKER_07 49:11

And you can't be mad about it. So without you choosing, K Dog going number three and Uncle Lane going number five is gonna be the while you're working on something or the project beer.

SPEAKER_05 49:26

I feel like that falls perfectly.

SPEAKER_07 49:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 49:29

Yeah for me. That and that's and realistically, that's uh it's good at number five for me simply because I forget about it. Yeah. Like if I'm working on something, I'm gonna forget that it's there, and then it's gonna get hot, and I'm still gonna drink it, but I'm gonna be mad the whole time I'm drinking it.

SPEAKER_07 49:45

Yeah, so the the reason I threw that in there is because in my experience, I get very frustrated at things. Like if I do something, it's supposed to be a 10-minute job and it ends up taking me 30, takes me an hour, whatever. I like the project beer because it's a nice way to say, hey, I'm really pissed off right now. Let me take a step back, let me crack open one of these nice, delicious porch beers. Yeah, take a few deep breaths. That's why I threw that in there.

SPEAKER_06 50:16

So well, I've got a I've got a couple of thoughts on some you may have missed.

SPEAKER_07 50:21

Well, one second, I gotta read the list.

SPEAKER_06 50:23

My bad.

SPEAKER_07 50:24

I gotta read the list, and then we'll get into honorable mentions because that's the next thing.

SPEAKER_06 50:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 50:27

I want to know what y'all's favorite situations are to have a beer.

SPEAKER_05 50:31

Because this is my crazy stuff too.

SPEAKER_07 50:33

This is my list. This is my list of top five beers. Okay. So we have Lane with shower beer going number one, the buddy beer, aka surprise beer, the friend beer going number two, beer next to a body of water going number three, the afterwork beer going number four, and the project, aka while you're working on something going number five. Wow. K Dog's not impressed. And then for K Dog's list, we have going number one next to a body of water. Specifically a corona. Specifically. We have number two, the afterwork beer. We have number three, the project, aka while you're working on something beer. Number four, the shower beer, and number five, the buddy beer, aka aka aka free beer. So thank you, thank you. Now, gentlemen, you have just ranked. You guys have just ranked my top five beers. So my list would be number one shower beer. Without a doubt. Love a shower beer. Number two is gonna be the working on something beer. I love it. Like I said, it's a good way for me to take a step back and not throw something. No. Number three is gonna be that afterwork beer. Again, kind of for the same reason, right? Like if you've had a bad day, have a uh have a beer, be good to go. Okay. Next to a body of water is gonna be number four, and then that surprise beer, aka friend beer is gonna be number five. Because, like Caitlin said, if I'm chilling out, if I'm if I'm hanging out, I'm probably already have a beer in my hand. Not that I don't appreciate the free beer. So, Lane, what did I get right on the list? What did I get wrong?

SPEAKER_06 52:31

Um, number one and two definitely would have stayed on my list, you know, the or the ones that I took one and two, the the shower beer and the buddy beer. Um there's a couple of situations that um I think I would have, you know, probably ranked higher. Uh one of those being the on the course beer, whether that's golf or disc golf in my case. There's something about cracking open a nice cold brew ski on that.

SPEAKER_07 52:56

I'm not a golfer, so that's not I almost threw I almost threw a sports event beer in there because.

SPEAKER_06 53:03

Oh yeah. I mean let's go sports event as a whole.

SPEAKER_07 53:06

I feel like you can't have one without the other, you know what I mean? Uh because when I played hammer down. Can't hammer down without a beer.

SPEAKER_06 53:13

When I played uh tournament softball at a mobile, that was like what kept us going. You know, it's 105 degrees outside, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:20

No.

SPEAKER_06 53:21

Um, I also would probably throw on there the wedding reception beer. If you've never had one of those in your life.

SPEAKER_05 53:29

The wedding reception beer?

SPEAKER_06 53:31

Yep, that first beer after you've sat through that whole wedding. Yeah. Then you crack open that uh that pocket funeral beer. Um listen, there's a beer for every occasion. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:47

Oh, is that a thing? The pocket funeral beer?

SPEAKER_07 53:52

In my mind, that's always a flask flask situation.

SPEAKER_05 53:56

My buddies at my funeral and it's like, I love him, I'll miss him forever.

SPEAKER_07 54:01

Dude, I saw I saw a meme the other day where uh a dude passed away and his buddy paid these three huge Samoan guys to show up in suits and sit in the front row and not say anything, and then after the funeral is over, come and kiss the top of the casket and leave.

unknown 54:21

Jeez.

SPEAKER_06 54:22

Can y'all do that for me when I inevitably die?

SPEAKER_07 54:25

With no explanation to anybody, obviously.

SPEAKER_05 54:28

Obviously, your parents wouldn't understand.

SPEAKER_07 54:30

Yeah, which would be super funny.

SPEAKER_05 54:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:32

I need that to happen in my life. These porch beers are going down real nice, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_06 54:38

It's a problem. It's a role issue here shortly.

SPEAKER_07 54:41

Yeah. So funeral beer?

SPEAKER_06 54:45

Yeah, I mean, just in some honorable mention areas, I'd definitely say uh post-wedding, post-funeral, sporting event beer. Uh that that that would probably round it up for me.

SPEAKER_07 54:56

Things that I would like to I I thought about tossing like celebration beer in there. Like that that felt like a good thing to have in the list, but that's really vague.

SPEAKER_05 55:06

I feel like later on we can come up with five more and and do it, do it again. Oh, 100% episode. I feel like there's so many different, you know.

SPEAKER_07 55:13

Look, between me and Lane, we've drank beers in every situation. More than likely. Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. Um I I hate it for our uh my little brother Hunter that we couldn't do his uh sorry, son, his beers of choice, but I'm not upset about these porch beers at all. They're doing they're doing a fantastic job.

SPEAKER_05 55:36

I hate that this is the first time I've heard of it.

SPEAKER_07 55:38

Yeah, I'm I'm really happy.

SPEAKER_06 55:40

She'll never have lunch with me.

SPEAKER_07 55:41

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 55:42

You just asked me on a date.

SPEAKER_07 55:44

Yeah, yeah. So what's been going on with you guys? What's been going on with you guys? How did your how did your date go with that woman on Facebook dating line?

SPEAKER_06 55:53

Well, we've we've had the child yet, or we we've moved on from her, and if you would like to hear the continued horribleness that is Lane's dating life, let us know because I've got some whole news stories from people I've seen on Tinder and Hinge and Facebook dating. Is there something you can throw at us?

SPEAKER_07 56:11

What's the what's if you had to rank them like Tinder, Facebook dating hinge, what what are all the ones you're on? You gotta tell us.

SPEAKER_06 56:18

I'm on all of it. It ain't working.

SPEAKER_07 56:21

What what would you what's top three? Which ones are the best?

SPEAKER_06 56:25

I don't think I'm an ugly guy. I'm not a handsome guy. But I don't think I'm ugly.

SPEAKER_07 56:29

Blame's a stud if y'all hadn't seen him.

SPEAKER_06 56:32

Oh, it's bad. But this was the only problem.

SPEAKER_05 56:41

It's my two words.

SPEAKER_07 56:47

Oh, that was a good one. That almost got me.

SPEAKER_06 56:49

I thought I was gonna get a golden shower there for a minute.

SPEAKER_07 56:52

I'll give you one if you need one.

SPEAKER_06 56:55

So after you left Saturday, we got recognized for the podcast. And by we I mean K Dog.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

Beautiful. Yeah. We had a lot of really great feedback, a lot of good friends.

SPEAKER_06 57:07

And the I think the best part of it was the fact that um when unnamed person that we won't besmirge because she'll listen to the show comes up and she's talking about how great the segment was on Facebook dating.

SPEAKER_07 57:22

Oh, it's it's hilarious. I was here for the conversation and cried laughing on my way to work.

SPEAKER_06 57:28

But she knew listening to it. She knew who K Dog was. She didn't know who I was. It's like she's asking like who may have had a couple of drinks. She was like, That's everybody's drunk voice.

SPEAKER_05 57:48

I was like, that's Lane right next to me. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 57:53

Dude's like, who are you? And I'm like, Oh, I'm I'm Uncle Daddy Lane.

SPEAKER_07 57:57

Uncle Daddy.

SPEAKER_06 57:58

Uncle Daddy Lane. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 58:01

She'll know exactly who she is when she listens to this. She's gonna be like, those mother.

SPEAKER_07 58:05

I wasn't there for it, so I don't know who you are.

SPEAKER_06 58:08

Oh, it was it was hilarious, though. But we we do appreciate anybody that reaches out and talks to us when you run for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

Yeah. It's even better like on an on a night in the town when you run in all your friends that have already started drinking, and then they start the boss.

SPEAKER_06 58:28

Yeah, you would uh I it is insane the number of people that have that I've talked to recently that have said, hey, I haven't had a chance to listen yet, but love that you guys have got it going.

SPEAKER_05 58:40

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And uh, you know, people are busy.

SPEAKER_06 58:43

Oh, yeah, life is busy.

SPEAKER_07 58:45

I love that people uh want to listen to three dumbasses just sitting here drinking beer and talking.

SPEAKER_05 58:52

I will say, if you ever hung out with us in our little group and and whatever we want to do, whether it's hanging out, grilling out, motorcycles, whatever, we're I feel like we're a fun, you know, bunch of guys to hang around with.

SPEAKER_07 59:03

It's a it's a very interesting group. There's always something happening.

SPEAKER_06 59:07

But I'm gonna tell you right now, in the uh mortal words of was it Drake? No new friends.

SPEAKER_07 59:13

No new friends.

SPEAKER_05 59:14

No new friends. No, I that's messed up. We're tapped.

SPEAKER_07 59:18

Yeah, the first 15 minutes of this podcast is talking about how I'm old and don't like hanging out in new.

SPEAKER_05 59:23

My T-Mobile Fae Five's filled up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:26

My my top eight is filled.

SPEAKER_05 59:28

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_07 59:29

Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_05 59:30

There's always room for new friends.

SPEAKER_07 59:32

I I listened to a comedy skit the other day that I thought was really, really funny. And I wish I remembered the dude's name. If I remember it, I'll have Caitlin put it in later. But he was talking about how as you get older, you don't have as much room in your brain for stuff. Like there's a lot of stuff I have to remember all the time.

SPEAKER_05 59:49

I always said that about music because I've learned so many songs over the years, and I'll forget. Yeah. It's like, man, I gotta like sacrifice some memory. Yeah, I gotta forget some stuff.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:02

I feel like every new thing I learned these days, I've forgotten like six things to make room.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:08

Well, that's what he was talking about. He said, uh, he said, you know, I'm uh I got a lot of friends, but the problem is I got a lot of acquaintances, and I'm terrible with names as it comes. So I told my friends a long time ago that everybody gets one plus one. So you can either let me remember your wife's name or your side chick's name. I can't remember them both. Don't bring them.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:30

Don't yeah, don't, don't, don't get me caught up on both.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:35

But I don't have a side chick, so I don't have to remember any side chick's names. But that is so true. Like as uh as I get older, reminds me of Pinky from Friday.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:47

He's like, Don't kid me, man, don't kill me, come on, man. I got a wife, I got a daughter, I got a girlfriend on the side.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:52

But as I get older, I forget stuff, and it's you know, we have phones in our pockets now, so it's easy to forget something, you can just look it up real quick. But uh it's one of those things where man, if you bring somebody new into the friend group and they have a wife and they have three kids, their kids are gonna be buddy and pal forever. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:16

Yes, look at how many uncles my daughter. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:20

Uh I I I have so many nephews and nieces, and I don't know any of their names. Um, you know, as bad as it is the same, I forget Cody's kids' names all the time. Uh shout out Cody Ward. Sorry. How do you expect me to remember that when I can't remember my own?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:39

Shout out Cantley and Carly too, but yeah, y'all got a lot of kids, and there's only so much I can do, you know.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:45

Um I remember all of your kids' names, by the way.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:49

Sometimes uh yeah, it's just it's just one of those things, man. There's a lot to remember, and I I eat too much red 40 for my brain to work right right, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think so. That and that Ebon that Evan's getting to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:07

I was uh I was slacked off so much.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:10

It was just the brain-eating worm I've got in my head, but yeah, the amoeba.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:13

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we all have worms, don't we? Probably.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:16

Yeah, it's something like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:18

Everybody's like, everybody has worms.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:20

So you can get the the horse dewormer. No, uh jumping off of that topic, y'all know I have a bunch of friends from Brazil. Um, and one of my very good buddies from Brazil stayed with me for a little while, and like we literally the only time we didn't see each other is when we were sleeping. Like from the time I woke up, this dude was hanging out with me, and when I went to bed, he went somewhere else and went to bed. Like that that's how close we were. And we knew each other for probably six months, and he came to me one day and he said, Hey man, um when uh when do you do your cleanse here? I was confused because I was like, Are you talking about like a juice cleanse or something? And at the time he didn't speak phenomenal English, and so he kept just saying, No, man, you're your cleanse. You know, you take the pills a few days and then you wait a week and then you take the pills again. And I was really confused about what he was talking about. I'm like, what cleanse? Um, you trying to pass a drug test for a job? Like, what are you talking about? Because I can tell you how to do it. Yeah, I don't I don't know what you're talking about, but after like a a few hours of like him trying to make me understand, apparently it's common practice in some other parts of the world that twice a year you deworm yourself.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:39

Yeah, it is, and it's it's be it's because they don't have the same ability that we do in the United States to keep things properly cold, properly cleansed, and so they do get those worms.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:53

Huh. This is not something I knew about. And when he told me about it, he was like, No, man, you have to do it twice a year. I was like, Am I gonna die? Like, what I've never done that.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:04

And the thing is, you see it on Facebook and you see it on Instagram all the time, but those sh can it happen to us in the United States? Yes, absolutely it can.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:13

Oh yeah. All those supermodels with tape worms, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:16

With tapeworms, well, yeah. But you know, you see all these ads for people selling products and dewarmers and stuff like that, and they're, you know, paying these people to advertise it. And the thing is, in the United States, as long as you properly take care of your food, you do not need to deworm. Yeah. Because you're not consuming those contaminated products.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:37

But I feel like if you just you're just randomly shopping at the store. I mean, people you you have to think about it, people don't really store their food correctly every time. No. You know, like lunch meats, or of course that's processed. You'll have bad dates on things. You just don't see, you know. I've picked up many things in stores. Oh, look, this this is not good anymore. Somebody else that wouldn't have looked at it would have just took it home and ingested it, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:02

It's good for you. Make your immune system strong.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:04

I mean, and another thing to remember is uh just being honest, right? Is that the expiration date on food is not necessarily an expiration date, it's just a Best Buy date.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:14

One of the worst times I've ever thrown up in my entire life was um I I don't remember I got hills and I got natty light. I got home and I used to run a lot. I ran cross country and uh track in high school, and it's really good for you to have like um some some sugars after you finish running. Um and so I got into this weird habit where I would go run early in the morning before school, and when I got home I would pound like a um like a chocolate protein shake. Or or sometimes not even a protein shake, just like some chocolate milk. Um, another shout out to my father, he always had chocolate fair life in the house.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:59

Kind of a Relationship with my father when I was growing up in school. You know, I would run from him. Run away. I don't know if that counts.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:09

But one of the worst times I've ever thrown up in my life, uh ran like six miles, get home, and before I go get in the shower, I pour like a tall glass of milk, like three scoops of Nesquick powder and it mix it up and start pounding it. And I get about three three big gulps in before I realize that the milk is just ruined. And like I couldn't, I don't think my mind processed that it was ruined before my body immediately started rejecting it. And I had just run. I'm like covered in sweat, breathing hard.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:51

I feel your pain.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:52

I projectile vomited so violently that like it. I didn't, I don't think I went to school that day. Like I felt so terrible. It's one of those where you throw up with your whole body. Yeah. You know, it was so bad. So so bad.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:08

Shout out to my brother David. Um, he used to say when he would go outside, he'd be working up a sweat, whatever he was doing. He would drink milk when he came in. He got strong bones. Oh, he's an ox. But yeah, no, he was like, Yeah, man, for some reason it just it's like immediate. I don't know if there's a thing behind that. I need to research that.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:27

There is a there is a scientific thing behind it. It's one of the things that actually taught us in school um was um to drink chocolate milk because your body's craving two things after um you've expended that much energy. It's craving quick sugar for energy, also craving protein to start repairing the muscles that's been torn during your workout.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:49

So Mark was working with his milk mustache, wasn't lying.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:52

My brother's always the smart one.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:54

There you go.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:54

I'm banging my head off.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:58

You know, one of my professors always said, if you can handle it, do half milk, half water. That way you're just not, you know, it's not adding sugar into you that quickly. Um, but yeah, uh chocolate milk is an excellent after workout because you get the quick energy from the sugar, it's a long-term recovery from the protein.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:22

I support it. I support it. Not only is a fatty, I like chocolate milk, but also scientifically you should. Turns out I'm not a fat ass. You need to drink chocolate milk.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:34

My body was telling me to do it. What is that? Uh Radio's saying uh it's off some TikTok. Um I don't want the alcohol.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:45

The parasite. Yeah. Line, you're the you're the most uh medically educated amongst us all.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:55

And that's uh doctor.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:57

Do I drink enough alcohol to kill all the parasites in my body?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:01

You know, I've always lived by a very firm philosophy, right? And so hear me out on this. Rubbing alcohol is for outside ouchies. Drinking alcohol. Outside ouchies. Dr. Lane of Rood. Dr. Lane of Bruce, you already are first.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:28

This is not medical advice. Please do not take it as medical advice.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:31

Like it's not medical, Doctor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:51

We'll see you next week.