G.I. Retro Episode 1 - The Cobra Strikes

September 12, 1983. The very first episode of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero hit the airwaves and nothing was ever the same. In this episode of G.I. Retro, we break down part 1 of the M.A.S.S. Device miniseries that started it all!
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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

It is the It was in fact the first step towards dominating the animated universe as G.I. Joe would go on to become one of the most beloved and iconic animated series of all time. This is G.I. Retro Episode 1, The Cobra Strikes. Yo Joe, hello, and welcome everyone to G.I.S. The Cobra Strikes, part one of five of the Mass Device miniseries. The miniseries that started it all for G.I. Joe, a real American hero. We're gonna dive into that today, but before I get into the episode, uh I just want to say a very sincere thank you and just express all the gratitude that I can muster for the response to the announcement of this channel and show, and just to have so many of you reach out and be on board from day one was really, really cool to me. And just sort of validated what I sort of had touched on that the GI Joe community at every turn had been so positive, so welcoming, and really reinforced this idea that this is the place I wanted to be in again, and that this was the way to do it. A lot of excitement about what we're gonna be doing here at GI Retro. So it was just really cool to see that response from all of you. If you're just stumbling upon this video now, you have not subscribed yet. Please do so if you are so inclined. You know, like and subscribe, all that good stuff. Uh yeah, encourage you to come along for this journey here. So here we are, the Cobra Strikes, episode one of the Mass Device miniseries, originally aired September 12th, 1983, written by Ron Friedman, directed by Dan Thompson, and a who's who of voice actors like Chris Latta, Arthur Berghartt, Michael Bell, Rob Paulson, so many more. Morgan Lofting. I mean, the list goes on and on. Peter Cullen is in this episode. So we got the voice of Optimus Prime playing Dr. Vandemere in the very first episode of G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero. Awesome stuff. But let's let's sort of break down what happened a little bit at a high-level view. I don't want to go blow by blow here because I really do want to encourage you all to watch along with this series. You know, you go enjoy the episode. We come here, we meet, we talk about it, chime in in the comments with some of the things that maybe I missed or that you really wanted to highlight, and we'll go from there. But the sort of bird's eye view of the Cobra strikes, what is going on, what is happening with G.I. Joe and Cobra, uh, have to start, have to travel all the way back to 1983 and just sort of imagine again what it would have been like being a kid seeing that G.I. Joe intro for the very first time. I mean, it's incredible. The theme song, I don't think it gets it's it's clearly it's remembered, obviously. But I think it's still somehow underrated by today's standards because you know, a lot of the animated series theme songs that I see, you know, these polls online and stuff like that, you'll always see, and rightfully so, X-Men in the animated series. Usually up at the top, you'll see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers a lot. But for me, I mean, the G.I. Joe theme song, it set the tone and it really set the bar for a long, long time. So I love it. Every time I hear it, it just puts me in a good mood. I'll I'll put on a playlist that's just, you know, it's the it's on YouTube, it's all of the different versions from the seasons and everything like that, up through the movie. And I'll just I'll just put that on repeat and it's good vibes all the way to work. I love it. And as we go through this series together, off the top, I'm gonna be doing a lot of highlighting of things like first appearance of characters, vehicles, things like that. But here in the first episode, obviously everything is a first appearance. So key players for this episode. We've got Duke, Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Breaker, Stealer on the Joe side, and then on Cobra side, Cobra Commander, obviously, Destro, the Baroness, and Major Blood are the key players, along with a lot of Cobra Troopers on their side as well. In terms of the vehicles, buyer playsets and toys, get all those action figures, get the Sky Striker that immediately we see in this. We see Hiss Tanks, we see the Dragonfly, lots of good stuff throughout this episode. And right off the bat, they drop us into the action. And, you know, I was talking about the theme song, and I think one of the things that is underrated about that theme song, especially traveling back in time before this lore is so intrinsic to all of us, is that theme song does a lot of heavy lifting of world building right from the start. It tells you it's G.I. Joe versus Cobra and Destro, what Cobra is bent on doing, you know, world domination, who G.I. Joe are, you know, this elite, highly trained special mission force and setting them at odds against one another. So when we come up from the intro, we are dropped right into this world, and we already know a decent amount about it. So they can just get right to the action, and that's what they do. We see some Sky Strikers coming in, and I have to highlight, uh, I'm gonna be highlighting, you know, some of my favorite moments, but quotes as as well throughout this series. And right off the bat, one of the first lines of the show is Duke saying, I'm gonna kick the mustard out of that crazy hot dog because some rogue sky striker pilot is coming in hot.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Homer's slithering around on the loose, and we need all the help we can get. I'm gonna kick the mustard out of that crazy hot dog.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Great quote. We're seconds into the episode. I'm already smiling, and a hidden highlight from that clip is uh Snake Eyes with the Spidey sense there, dropping down before Duke and Stalker really realize what was going on with this Sky Striker. And of course, we see that it's it's Scarlet that is piloting the Sky Striker. We're getting to know our major players from the GI Joe team here, and right kind of pretty much right off the bat, a little controversial, I think, for fans of the comic books versus fans of the animated series and the Venn diagram crossover there. But we get Duke and Scarlet, in my opinion, very obviously being a thing. And I know if you are just a follower purely of the comic continuity and canon and that's your jam, it's it's Snake Eyes and Scarlet or Bust. But if you're more into the animated series, if that was your first sort of exposure to G.I. Joe, other than the action figures and stuff like that, uh, in terms of media, you know, like I am, Duke and Scarlet to me always seemed like that was the no-brainer and a th the thing, you know? So exhibit A here, immediately, Duke and Scarlet flirting.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Oh, come on, Duke. Where's your spirit of adventure? Give a teammate a hand. I missed you, Duke.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

You certainly did. By that much. I mean, pretty, pretty obvious there, and then I'm gonna I'm gonna jump ahead a little bit, you know, just but not too long, just moments later after major blood attacks.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Hey, why didn't you just yell, look out?

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Didn't you read my green sheet? Man of action. So, definite, I mean, they've they've got something going on. It's it seems pretty obvious, and I know that is just sort of something of a controversy or a friction point between the comic lovers and the animated series lovers and where the two shall meet. So let me know. Are you uh do you like Snake Eyes and Scarlet, or do you like Duke and Scarlet? Uh I I lean, you know, again, maybe this is my first controversial take of the show here, but I'm a Duke and Scarlet guy. That's that that's how I roll because that's how it seemed in the the animated series. But I digress. I mentioned Major Blood, first Cobra attack. This episode starting off really action-packed. We see the Sky Strikers and then Cobra coming in with their own fighters, just decimating the Joe forces. Ambush number one of the episode here. Looks like Major Blood and his squad have the Joes, you know, pinned down and really gonna take them out. But Duke and Scarlet make their way into Sky Striker of their own and just single-handedly beat back Major Blood and his forces to where they have to retreat. But Cobra did get the drop on G.I. Joe here. So I think immediately you sort of start to see, and maybe if it's been a while since you've revisited this, one of the through lines that sort of I took away from this first episode is they do a really good job of making G.I. Joe and Cobra seem very evenly matched. Like Cobra definitely gets some wins, and we're gonna talk about that. Some some major wins here in the early going. Another through line for this episode, as you might imagine, are intros. And this episode does a fantastic job of introing all the major players uh that we will see. And we got the Joe team, we got major blood showing up, but then we really kick it to the next level for Cobra when we see Destro and Cobra Commander at the Cobra Temple. I really love this. I love Destro, you know, calling Cobra Commander's Temple a very melodramatic location, and that's what delayed him in bringing the elements of the mass device to him. And we see that sort of that tenuous alliance and tension between them right from jump street. We see that in episode one, that they are together, but not wholly on the same page. And we see that throughout this episode and obviously throughout the series. And so that was really cool going back to see the DNA of that being present right from the start. Loved it. Love seeing the Cobra Temple. And I I think I think the mass device is cool. I love I love like the look of like the three precious elements and just the whole, like, we're starting already with a pretty, pretty out there Cobra scheme, like this teleportation device and everything like that. So, yes, it's military, but it has science fiction elements from the start in terms of what Cobra is is doing. So they have they have more technology than what than what we have and what G.I. Joe has, and and I I like that. So after Destro and Cobra Commander are introduced, they do a little bit of exposition about the mass device. We're back with Duke, who is with General Flag, and from the Pentagon, Major Juanita Hooper, who, of course, is not everything that she seems, maybe some more than meets the eye uh going on with Juanita Hooper. Uh, but they're talking about this satellite relay that is under wraps, and they need G.I. Joe to essentially stress test their security system. And this leads to maybe my favorite action sequence of the whole episode. And it's not even G.I. Joe fighting Cobra. I think this scene of Stalker, Snake Eyes, and Scarlet infiltrating this installation, I think I think it's the best action set piece of episode one. I really feel like each character in this infiltration from the Joe side got their hero shot, you know, Snake Eyes jumping on the truck and sort of doing the tuck and roll infiltration, Scarlet on the jetpack, Stalker creating the big explosion and distraction, and then just a cool moment with, you know, General Flag and Juanita Hooper, sort of the hubris that G.I. Joe would not be able to do it. And then, of course, they they drop in and be like, Yeah, you were saying it's from there that we get Cobra Commander and Destro trying to use the mass device for the first time. Doesn't go according to plan, and we get again more of that tension from Cobra Commander and Destro, and I just love this.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

You wasted millions of stolen dollars, you titanium-faced turkey.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

I just, I love the writing there that Cobra Commander is highlighting that Destro wasted millions of stolen dollars. This money was by no means gotten by legitimate means, and also just the titanium-faced turkey insult is a great one. Destro with a great retort of his own that, you know, premature panic is a sign of an immature mind. Again, seeing that sort of tenuous alliance, the sniping back and forth, really well done here from the very first episode. But you know, with the assist of the Baroness, Destro is able to rebound, transport in Major Blood in a battalion of Cobra. And that is when we get arguably the best intro of the character in this first episode with the mask pull off of the Baroness and that signature laugh uh of hers revealing that she is part of Cobra. And again, you've gotta you gotta travel back, you know, and pretend that you don't know what you know. I know now you know, but pretend that you don't. And I think seeing it through that lens, I mean, what a what a great way to intro a character. I loved it. Another ambush from Cobra, again, showing that they are on that same level with G.I. Joe. And a lot of times G.I. Joe is is outmanned and and and outgunned, but they they've got to sort of think their way through problems like they do here. Scarlet is the one to sort of come up with the solution as G.I. Joe retreats and they are able to regroup and get the drop on Cobra until Destro saves the day and starts teleporting them with the mass device. That's when Duke charges in and he gets captured. Before we get taken to the slave pens, before Duke goes to the arena of sport, we do get Scarlet sort of assuming leadership position of the Joes, and we get Breaker and Steeler trying to figure out what is going on with this device, this teleportation technology that Cobra has. Also, we get Cobra Commander threatening the entire world and demonstrating the power of the mass device now that they captured the relay satellite. They make the Eiffel Tower disappear. By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country? Italy or France? France. Nobody ever says Italy. And Cobra Commander has the world on its knees, and G.I. Joe is scrambling. Breaker pulls up finally that this must be the work or inspired by the work of Dr. Vandemere. So Joe is on the move, wasting no time to locate the good doctor on his farm. But again, wouldn't you know it? Cobra one step ahead. G.I. Joe walks right into another ambush. Major Blood this time pulls the mask trick and has his his troops waiting in the forest. G.I. Joe ambushed again. They are able to regroup and repel, rescue the good doctor, who tells them that they need to build a mass device of their own. So the race is on if G.I. Joe is going to be able to do that. But I just I really like again how much Cobra is really formidable in this first episode. I mean, G.I. Joe's getting their ass kicked throughout pretty much this entire episode. They're they're looking good doing it, but they're they're behind on the scoreboard right now. Make no mistake about it. And that's when we get to see Duke, who is uh in the slave pens, blue suit baroness, uh, you know, sort of memory hold that one for a long time until I I revisited uh the animated series. And again, Planet of the Apes vibes with the slave encampment here. We've got the mind control headbands and Duke doing his best to fight through the mind control. But I I really like the the visual and the banter back and forth between Cobra Commander and Destro sitting uh up in their sort of emperor-like seats of their uh arena of sport and great cliffhanger with the giant just gonna be raining blows down upon Duke. But then, of course, you know, the tease ahead to the next episode. You gotta let the kids know that hey, like Duke's gonna be okay. But pretty serious stuff in this in this first episode, and pretty sort of again, out outmanned and outgunned is our heroes, G.I. Joe. Uh, Cobra takes the W in this episode pretty much at every turn, like I said. So that just about wraps up the blow by blow of this episode, the Cobra Strikes. But my background in sports broadcasting, we love hardware, we love to give out titles and designations. So I've got some recurring segments and designations, awards, if you will, that I'm gonna be handing out throughout this, you know, this rewatch series here. And I saved them for the end. We'll see how I deploy them moving forward. But the very first one I call the But did you die moment of the week?

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Did you die? I got shot, but did you die?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

And what this is, is is sort of celebrating and highlighting the absurd survivals and the zero body count that G.I. Joe Real American Hero is known for. I think it's gonna be tough choosing this every week. Uh, this one certainly had multiple candidates of scenes featured that I could have chosen from, but there was definitely one that stood out to me, and it was this.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Here they come, old tight.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

You see the fighters, I mean, they just absolutely crash and burn and explode into smithereens. And I had to watch it multiple times and slow it down because G.I. Joe, it's so known for seeing the pilots parachute out at the last minute. And I'll be damned if, yes, you see the pilots eject out. It's their, you have to really be looking for it because when I first watched it, I was like, oh wow, they didn't even they didn't even bother to show the pilots ejecting. Like, I think they just died, but nope. I went back and checked it out, and they in fact show both pilots ejecting. But that is the very first, but did you die moment of the week? All right, next up, this one I'm very excited about because it's something that I knew I was going to be doing when I first started thinking about this channel, and that is naming an episode MVP every time we break down an episode, whether MVP T U stands for most valuable player, most valuable patriot, most valuable plotter, picking one character that did some serious heavy lifting that elevated the episode more than any of the other characters. And I think we've got some good candidates here in this first episode. I think obviously Duke is one. Scarlet is another one. I think Scarlet got highlighted beautifully in this episode. She showed her ability to come up with solutions, to lead. Baroness's intro was so great. Uh but to me, you know, as I watched this, I mean, the answer became very clear. And the runaway, first ever episode MVP here at GI Retro is the incomparable, the one and only uh Cobra Commander. I think his intro, the voice acting was so good. I mean, he is like the the aesthetic, and again, taking yourself back in that time machine, like this is a villain. This is somebody that really, really stands out and did so in this very first episode. And maybe if you're only familiar or you only really remember sort of the Cobra Commander that yells retreat and sort of bungles a lot of these operations, I think this is a really stark sort of example of how competent and capable Cobra Commander was. I mean, he was very commanding in this episode, and he had great quotes. We talk about the titanium-faced turkey, all the emphasis on the S's. Cobra Commander, the very first ever episode MVP. And finally, if you got an MVP, you gotta have sort of the Razzie version of this. And this is all done out of love. Again, this is a love letter for G.I. Joe, no shade being thrown here. But I've got another segment that I call the foul up of the week.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

You're here because you're an industrial spray follow up.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Thank you, Sarge. So the idea here is who really sort of who was the bungler, the blunderer, the fool of this episode. Episode, and as I watched it, you know, I think he's a great character, but this was unanimous. Like MVP, you could have had some, in my opinion, some strong candidates. To me, there was only really one foul-up of the week, and that's Major Blood. And I love Major Blood as a character. I think he's a great sort of lieutenant villain for G.I. Joe to battle with, and we see that throughout the series. But my man, three different ambushes, three different times he gets defeated. The assault on the Sky Strikers at the satellite installation, when Destro had to bail him out. G.I. Joe had their weapons outside the room. He had the complete drop on them. And then when he ambushes them, when they go to the doctor's farm and he gets knocked into a pig pen with God knows what, and then turns tail and runs. Not to mention Cobra Commander himself calls him a fool in this episode because he wanted Duke taken alive. So to me, easily the easiest one of out of all of these choices of these recurring segments we're going to be doing, Major Blood. You are our first phallop of the week. So those are a few of the segments we're going to be doing throughout this rewatch series. And this is where I want to encourage you to chime in. Let me know your own thoughts about that. Maybe you have a different take on episode MVP or a different absurd survival in this episode that caught your eye. There certainly were a couple that caught mine. Or maybe you disagree. Maybe Major Blood was not your fallop. Maybe somebody else in your opinion deserves it more. Let me know. Let me know in the comments. You can let me know on Twitter at GI Retro Show. You can email me, James at GIRetro.com. I really want to encourage this to be a conversation as we hopefully re-watch, enjoy, and celebrate this great show together. That does it for this episode of G.I. Retro, The Cobra Strikes, our next episode, episode two of the Mass Device miniseries, Slave of the Cobra Master. And if you didn't know, now you know. Take it away, Flint.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

And knowing is half the battle.