The unHoneyMooners Stage 🚩

Is the honeymoon phase really the best part of a relationship, or is it just the version of ourselves we're trying to sell?

In this hilarious and brutally honest episode of Flag Us, Twonn and Whitney dive deep into the honeymoon stage of dating, exploring what happens when the butterflies fade and reality kicks in. They debate whether chemistry is more important than peace, if couples can reignite the honeymoon phase, and whether relationships should still feel exciting years later.

From ignoring red flags and going back to exes, to losing attraction versus losing emotional connection, this episode is packed with relatable relationship conversations, funny disagreements, and the kind of real talk every couple can relate to.

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Transcript

Whitney 0:23

Hey y'all, welcome back to Flag Us. I'm with.

Twonn 0:27

I'm Tuan.

Whitney 0:29

Today we are on episode eight. Eight created by yours truly.

Twonn 0:35

Eight the Greeks.

Whitney 0:36

Inspired by the red flag to my right.

Twonn 0:39

Um red flag to your right. Wow.

Whitney 0:42

I think uh I don't remember what it was, but we were bickering about something. Me and Twan was bickering about something. I can't remember what it was, but I remember you saying, are we out of the honeymoon stage? So when he said that, in my mind, I'm like, ooh, ding ding ding. Honeymoon stage. We definitely have to do episode on honeymoon stage.

Twonn 1:02

So that definitely brings us to So this whole episode is about the honeymoon stage.

Whitney 1:08

It's like my favorite function. Before the headache. Or the fun before the facts, if you per se. But yeah.

Twonn 1:18

And the honeymoon stage is my favorite part. Is it? Yeah, it's my favorite part. It's full with so much compassion and intimacy and love. And then once you figure, you know, this person out, you're like, I really don't like you.

Whitney 1:31

Oh wow. Okay, so hold on, sir. Because my first question for you is is the honeymoon stage the best part of the relationship, or is it kind of like the fakiest part of the relationship?

Twonn 1:45

I think it's the best part. I honestly think it's the best part because it's like, yo, y'all still getting to know each other, you know. You you see you've seen the red flags, the green flags. Um, you ignore some. Um, probably you like, you know, put some effort towards some other ones, and it's like the intimacy, the love. It's like the best part. It's like, yeah, that's like the best part. Like, let's start, let's restart our honeymoon. Honeymoon stage.

Whitney 2:13

I would say the honeymoon stage is kind of like, like you said, you're getting to know each other. But I feel like you're also trying to display like your best behavior. Like, all right, I don't want to give it to them all up front. Let me go ahead and feel like, you know.

Twonn 2:32

Oh, you sprinkle a little on them.

Whitney 2:33

Yeah, so I wouldn't say it's like the fakest, but I think people tend to kind of like put more effort in like their communication or put more effort in, you know, displaying their best selves in the moment. Okay. That wall usually falls down. That's probably why you said we're not in the honeymoon stage.

Twonn 2:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, man, because you said something, I was like, oh, here we go. So, like, it'd be a week straight, I'll be like, all right.

Whitney 3:07

Because at first you were just like, I know you thought, like, oh shoot, like, she's dope. And then after I still think that.

Twonn 3:14

I still think that it's just you getting on my nerve a lot more common. It's more common than you're getting on my nerve than it's like, all right, usually it's like, oh man, I love her. And that was like, yo, all right, yo, I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna talk to you a little later. All right. I love you. Yeah, yeah. No, I knew it was there.

Whitney 3:35

I knew it was there. Nah, you didn't. I knew it was there. It was definitely a shocker for you.

Twonn 3:39

All right, uh, would you rather have intimacy, chemistry, or peaceful uh consistency?

Whitney 3:47

Um I would say peaceful consistency. Yeah, yeah, because everything else can kind of like fall in line. Like if we have chemistry, yeah, everything's like exciting, but that only lasts for so long. Like I like to protect my peace. I'm not very peaceful for you per se, but I prefer you to be peaceful for me. Oh, okay. I'm glad you're speaking your truth. I'm definitely not his peace, but his headache. But I prefer him to be my piece and not my headache.

Twonn 4:27

Okay, I rather have um intense chemistry. Like really, yeah, like we have intense chemistry. I don't know if it's trauma bonding, but it's like we have really good chemistry. And I don't I don't mind when it's not peaceful because you know, I thrive in chaos.

Whitney 4:44

And that's why we're together three years later.

Twonn 4:50

Yeah, yeah. I thrive in chaos. So, you know, this is this is good for me. It keeps me on my toes. It keeps me, you know, I don't be like, oh man, I'm bored. Well, nah, you always show me it's like a like people in your head, they start talking, and then you know, y'all have a like a little committee, and y'all be like, oh, let's just get on this nigga nerve today. So I'll be with it.

Whitney 5:10

And we excel at what we do.

Twonn 5:11

I'll be with it. I'll be with it.

Whitney 5:13

So then you would say chemistry can carry a long-term relationship?

Twonn 5:18

I would say chemistry can carry it. Because if I like and I'm into you, I would, you know, carry on for a very long, a very long time. Chemistry lasts a very long time, a very long time.

Whitney 5:28

Okay, so if we had all this chemistry, but I didn't support your dreams, I didn't put any effort into our relationship, but we have chemistry. You're okay with that? You think you would be with me forever and ever and ever?

Twonn 5:39

So now you're moving to goalposts. I'm just saying you are definitely moving to goalposts. But you're putting chemistry up. No, no, chemistry is above, you know. I like us having chemistry other than the piece. That was the question, other than the the the piece. That other stuff ain't in play.

Whitney 5:55

We got chemistry, so I think I'm good here. All good here.

Twonn 5:59

All right, I see you trying to get one off. All right.

Whitney 6:02

I am who I am.

Twonn 6:04

Anyway, moving on, moving on. Uh, next question. How long does the honeymoon stage uh realistically last?

Whitney 6:15

Let's see here. We feel out of it about to give or take. Um I just say it depends on the relationship. I would say like about maybe six months or two years, depending on the chemistry that they have. I would say around, you know, a year to two years.

Twonn 6:38

Do you think that the chemistry stage can, I mean not chemistry stage, the uh honeymoon stage can be like restarted?

Whitney 6:45

Um, I think that it can, I feel like it isn't about like you know, the chem the chemistry can look different. So like chemistry when you first like get together, you know, it could be more of like um that attraction, the vibe. Um but like as you progress, huh? You said what? Huh? What did you say?

Twonn 7:13

I said a baby.

Whitney 7:14

A baby is crazy. But as you progress in that relationship, like that excitement can be different. Like it can be more of like, you know, your guys' values, what you see, and how you date each other, how we flirt, you know.

Twonn 7:29

Okay. That type of um, let's see how long did the honeymoon stage. It's usually like a year and a half. I honestly think after that year and a half point, you guys are comfortable. You know, she's taking the shit in front of you, she's farting in the bed, you know, like it's just the honeymoon stage.

Whitney 7:47

I think it took a year for that.

Twonn 7:49

Yeah, I'm not I'm not referring to you. I'm not referring to you. I'm not referring to you. You let me you let it be known in the in the first freaking week.

Whitney 7:58

In the first trimester?

Twonn 7:59

Yeah, the first trimester. Yeah, it was like ah, this is what you get. You know, I wasn't surprised. I wasn't surprised.

Whitney 8:06

You let off first, and then I just followed suit. That was that was how that worked. Okay.

Twonn 8:11

Whitney lady-like I am who I am, like I said.

Whitney 8:15

Okay, so should a relationship still feel exciting after years together?

Twonn 8:20

Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, you know, um, you have dry dry periods, you have uh, you know, uh different stages in your relationship. But I think the excitement of being together, even being out or even trying something new with your, you know, your person, it's exciting.

Whitney 8:39

I feel the same way. I think a relationship should definitely be exciting. Um even after like a bunch of years together. Because, you know, after you, you know, continue to date each other, I think that's where the excitement's gonna come. Like still like keeping yourself together and you know planning like little dates.

Twonn 8:58

Like little dates, yeah, little dates. But how often, how often do you think after the honeymoon stays, like how often do you think you should be dating?

Whitney 9:06

Um I think maybe like once a week. You should at least get a date independently.

Twonn 9:12

Once a week?

Whitney 9:13

Yes, why not? You need to have a date night.

Twonn 9:15

Okay.

Whitney 9:16

We all get a day off, right? Are we? So we should do it. I'm not saying we have to go and spend a whole bunch of money. It could be like a game night. It can be like a you know, movie night at the house. You know, we create our own little date night. Doesn't necessarily have to be like in public or anything of that nature, but yeah.

Twonn 9:35

Okay. Uh great question. Great answers. Uh Whitney with the wise words. WWW WWW.

Whitney 9:42

Oh. What would Whitney do?

Twonn 9:44

What would Whitney do? All right, we can start. Uh I think we can start flag on the play. Uh is this rapid flyers?

Whitney 9:52

It's definitely gonna be rapid fire fire. It's gonna be uh pick a side.

Twonn 9:56

Yes or that, okay.

Whitney 9:58

Uh let's see.

Twonn 10:00

Shoot, let's see what kind of toxic uh red flags that Whitney brings up this episode.

Whitney 10:05

Here we go with his shenanigans. All right, so the first question is biggest honeymoon phase lie. I'm not usually like this, or I never do this with anyone.

Twonn 10:20

I definitely I don't ever do this with anyone. You know how many times I heard that? Like you might have to be.

Whitney 10:29

Okay, I'm on the same page with you.

Twonn 10:32

I done caught somebody like that before. I was I was dating, and I actually got to meet the ex, you know, and then me and the ex became like man, cool. She didn't know, but and it's like, oh yo, we did such and such. And she was like, Oh, it's her first time. He was like, nah, dog, like we did that. And I was like, oh, snap.

Whitney 10:48

Like, not him putting her on black.

Twonn 10:50

Nah, homie was a he was a real one because he definitely put me on. She was like, Yeah, she was just like kept that to himself. Nah, nah, it wasn't on it. I shared, I overshared, and that was like, nah, dog. Like, yo, she did that with me. And I'm like, she told me it was a first fucking.

Whitney 11:08

Not lying witch. Not you mad you wasn't the first, but did she make you feel like the first? Yeah, that's the that was the that was the mindfuck. You felt like you were the first.

Twonn 11:18

Well, watch out for the mindfuck. Please watch out for the mind fuck. They will fuck your mind.

Whitney 11:23

Oh my goodness. Okay, uh, next question. Uh, first thing that fades in a relationship communication, effort, or intimacy?

Twonn 11:33

Um damn, that's a hard one. Cause I think the intimacy and the effort stops first. Like those are the two that just like it pumps. I ain't gonna say it stops fully, but it's just like, all right, you know.

Whitney 11:51

I'm I'm with the effort because that trickles down to intimacy. Yeah, so I'm gonna do effort first because intimacy you're gonna follow right behind.

Twonn 12:00

Yeah, yeah. You think you think you're getting something tonight? Nah, I'm player.

Whitney 12:06

With the Heisman for sure.

Twonn 12:08

The Heisman is crazy.

Whitney 12:10

Okay. Um, have you ever gone back to someone knowing it was a bad idea?

Twonn 12:18

Yeah. And my friends let me do it. And my friends let me do it. You ain't no friends. You ain't no friend of mine. My brother made me do it too.

Whitney 12:27

Why? Why did you go back?

Twonn 12:29

It was just com being comfortable with that person. Just comfortability, that's it. Like, I knew it was a bad idea, but I was just like, Yeah. I think this is the time YOLO came out. Everybody, YOLO, screaming YOLO, YOLO.

Whitney 12:43

Um, yeah, I would, yeah. You went back? Uh yeah. I would say it's because um I didn't go in thinking like, oh, it was a good idea.

Twonn 12:57

Oh, oh, so you went in.

Whitney 12:59

Because you already, you're already familiar with that person. You already know what it looks like. And sometimes, like you said, comfortability. You're just like, oh, okay, I already know what it's gonna be, I already know how it ended before. So, you know, you end up going back. And yeah, it wasn't like, oh, this is a good idea to go back. Like, I'm glad you didn't think it's a good idea. I'm not sitting here saying, like, oh, I in the moment I thought it was a good idea. No, it's basically like, hey, you know, I've been with this person, I already know this person, so why not? You know, spin the block. All right. Um, let's see. Another one is okay, better relationship flex peace or passion.

Twonn 13:45

All right, I'm gonna be on the guy's side. I want some passion. Passion. Yeah, because that brings peace. Yeah, give me a piece of passion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me that. Give me that, a little sprinkle of that. Yeah, every day, every day. Give me a lot of yeah, all of that.

Whitney 13:57

Yeah, I'm gonna go with peace. You're gonna go with peace? I'ma go with peace. What? Yes, I don't want your passion.

Twonn 14:03

Oh, wow.

Whitney 14:03

Your passion looks crazy.

Twonn 14:06

Yeah, a little sprinkle of passion. Give me some of that. Give me some of that.

Whitney 14:09

I'm gonna go with peace, protecting my peace and not your passion.

Twonn 14:12

Give me some passion. You would. On a Saturday, on a Friday, on a Monday, on a Tuesday.

Whitney 14:22

Have okay, so here we go. Have you ever ignored your friend's warning about somebody you were dating?

Twonn 14:31

Absolutely. Absolutely. Ignored it. And um, they rubbed it in my face a little later because it blew up in my face, but yeah, they I definitely ignored some um advice knowing that this person, like we talked about before, like, you know what you're getting yourself into. It's like it's not new. You're like, all right, let me see if this person changed. Nope.

Whitney 14:53

You said nope.

Twonn 14:54

No, they didn't change. They didn't change.

Whitney 14:56

Okay, I'm I'm with you with that one. Yes, I've definitely ignored some warning signs because I'm like, but you don't know him like I do. I actually don't know him like you don't know him like I. He's a changed man. But I think like sometimes friends can be wrong.

Twonn 15:11

Mm-hmm.

Whitney 15:12

She does, and sometimes, I'm gonna say majority of the time, they could be right because it's somebody looking on the outside, so they're not really, they don't really have an emotional connection to that person like you do. So they're able to stand on the outside and be like, hey girl, like he playing you, or he doing this, or he doing that. And in my mind, I'm like, no, absolutely not. Like, oh shot, that's that's how you sound on on TikTok. No, he loves me. Because he does. He definitely does. But yeah, next question, because you're finna get cussed out on this podcast. All right, last question. Do people really change in a relationship or do they just get comfortable enough to show you who they are?

Twonn 15:57

Um, I think they get comfortable enough to show who they are. Um, I've got comfortable with even though, you know, when we first started dating, I opened doors and then I used to um flirt with you all the time and stuff like that. I'm not opening more fucking doors now.

Whitney 16:15

Definitely. He doesn't know. I'm not opening no doors. I can stand at the door and wait, and I just be waiting. He be in the car ready to pull off.

Twonn 16:22

And I'm still like not only I gotta drive, I gotta pay attention. Like what do you think?

Whitney 16:31

I think people definitely get comfortable and they show you who they are.

Twonn 16:36

Yeah.

Whitney 16:36

Yeah, for sure. You're like, you know, I'm I'm guilty of it. Yeah, yeah. We both think you were getting a winner and now look at you.

Twonn 16:46

I got a dinner. Get a winner winner chicken dinner.

Whitney 16:50

Winner, winner, chicken dinner. All right, that's it with um flaggers. Okay.

Twonn 16:58

Let's see, where are we with the uh is the honeymoon stage over? Alright, do couples fall out of love or just out of excitement?

Whitney 17:15

I'm gonna say excitement. I feel like well, because things are different. So excitement, I think it's more of like the excitement piece because you can still have love for somebody but not be in love with that person.

Twonn 17:30

That's what I was gonna go with. I was gonna go with love first. I I fall out of love. I don't think I fall out of excitement, but I think I fall out of love. And then it picks back up like a certain period, like, oh my gosh, she fixed my lunch. Oh, she hurried up home to fix me, and then kind of is like, oh man, I love this girl.

Whitney 17:48

That's crazy. So you be like, I love her, I don't love her, I love her, I don't love her.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Max P. She loves me, she let me not. She loves me, she love me not. She loves me, she let me not. She loves me, she let me not.

Whitney 17:59

Red flag.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

She loves me, she let me not. She loves me, she let me not. You know what?

Whitney 18:04

I actually agree with you when you say that I am colorblind to red flags because you keep showing me your true self. And here I am, just you love it here.

Twonn 18:15

We bond, we trauma bond.

Whitney 18:18

Just keep on keeping, which is crazy.

Twonn 18:20

Oh hush, you know you love you. I love your red flags, even though you Okay, so next question.

Whitney 18:26

So, do you think your partner should try to impress you years later?

Twonn 18:33

Absolutely. I do that now. I do that now. We just we just came back. We just came back from a wedding, right? Just came back from a wedding. Um, we booked a hotel, but it wasn't my preference, but I could have booked another spot where you was like, why are you gonna spend all that money? Why are you gonna do all that? It was really to impress you. Like, I wanted to do something new for you. So that was me. I'm always trying to impress you. I always do that.

Whitney 19:00

Always. Yeah, because you you're right.

Twonn 19:02

You always tell me I'm extra. I'm not extra. I'm not extra.

Whitney 19:07

Because we only just needed to stay the night. Like, we just need to sleep over. This man wanted a whole three-bedroom, four-bedroom, like three-bedroom, three-bath house. Like, we just need to stay the night.

Twonn 19:19

So that's what we used to do.

Whitney 19:20

So the hotel was completely fine, and we saved like $180.

Twonn 19:26

So, but who who cares? I still try to uh I care.

Whitney 19:30

Now we ain't gonna get into that because I don't wanna revisit.

Twonn 19:34

That's gonna be another episode dealing with cheap partners. Dealing with cheap, cheap partners.

Whitney 19:41

I might be cheap, but I look expensive.

Twonn 19:44

Oh yeah.

Whitney 19:45

Yes, you know, uh and I keep you looking expensive too.

Twonn 19:49

I just ex oh man, okay. Um anyway, back to uh back to the episode. Okay, um are we on the last questions?

Whitney 20:01

Yeah.

Twonn 20:02

Alright, last question. Um what's worse? Losing attraction or losing emotional connection? Whitney with the wise words.

Whitney 20:15

I'm gonna say emotional connection because you can't really rebuild attraction. You know, I can get back in the gym and get back fine. Attraction can be back there. But if I lose emotional connection to you, like I really I'm good.

Twonn 20:34

Okay. Um I think it's the opposite for me.

Whitney 20:37

Really?

Twonn 20:38

I think it's the opposite. I'm more, I'm a man, so I am uh I am more on the affectionate side. So if I feel like if I lose, if you lose, if I lose the attraction to you, I'm not gonna want to be bothered. I'm not gonna want to be bothered. I I know me, I know I'm not gonna I'm gonna speak for most men. I'm not gonna wanna be bothered with uh anything that I'm not attracted to. Like that, and that stops emotion, that stops the gifts, that stops like a whole bunch of things because it's like I don't really like you like that now. It sounds really shadow, shallow, but I mean it's the truth.

Whitney 21:16

It is because when they get back in that gym, like all them men who left them women because you know they got a little bit big after having a kid, or we don't call them fat, we call it cute. You got too cute on us, or they get happy weight, and then y'all decide y'all wanna that baby fat grown, and then when I get back in the gym and I'm back fine, then you want to spend the block. Yeah, yeah, absolutely not. No, thank you. No thank you. Because what why you couldn't be with me to build me to get back attractive? You just all those first of all.

Twonn 21:49

All those dinners, all those dinners, you're supposed to still been, you know, keeping yourself wine fine. I don't understand. I understand, you know, women let themselves go. I understand the baby fat get grown up. understand you have kids. I understand all this stuff. But you still have a responsibility to that man to still stay fine. Like how he I ain't gonna say like how he met you fine. But you know everybody we get older and all that. But uh yeah it's still your responsibility. That man still gotta see you naked.

Whitney 22:17

Like you know what?

Twonn 22:19

Who's up?

Whitney 22:21

Nothing you got it big boss big boss you got it yeah I'll tell you what this might be y'all last episode. It might be because if you want me to stay god dang fine then I'ma need to let one of these jobs go. I'ma need to stop cooking I'ma need to focus on that just stop eating. Stop eating that just because you stop eating don't change anything. When you stop eating and your body feels like it's not getting the nutrition that it does it stores fat.

Twonn 22:50

So actually I don't even eat a lot and I'm still uh you know thick side side right there's nothing wrong with that but I'm at I don't really eat but I'm attracted to that though yeah but what happens when you know when you get older that you know that baby fat turns 222 turn into 282 we have a we have a conversation we always have a conversation so then you ain't gonna just let me go no I'm not just gonna let you go I didn't say anything about just letting you go to fat girl you'll be alright because you're still attracted to me right all right anyway um oh wow you see you don't even let me get my one off you you wanna anyway uh oh we didn't even you didn't even ask how we uh how's your week how's your week was fine until I sat on this couch next to you okay all right on that note uh this was uh an episode of Flag of No how was your week uh it was cool it was cool it was cool no complaints no complaints no complaints are we ready to go back to work no I know I've been off of work for three days and I'm not looking forward to going back it's a holiday today and I still gotta work so it's all good holiday tomorrow well it's today I'm you know I'm a day ahead of everyone I live in the future time and a half I don't know I'm gonna find out I'm gonna find out I'm gonna bring that bacon home but you don't work I do work oh you do work oh nice congratulations I close oh nice I don't work the other one okay yeah all right well this was episode eight yeah Whitney with the wise words all right y'all facts all right y'all well this is flaggus I'm Twan I'm with and this is flag using