You're listening to Food is Food, the podcast that will support you to ditch diet culture, break free from food rules, and debunk nutrition misinformation. I'm your host, Talia Chekelli, specialist eating disorder dietitian and founder of the TC Nutrition Clinic. If you would like to learn more about our one-to-one nutrition support and group program, or download your free portioning guide, head to wwwtaliachely.com. Each week we will cover topics that delve deeper into nutrition, intuitive eating, psychology, diet culture, and the consequences of under eating. Our relationship with food is so complex and is influenced by our thoughts, emotions, and life experiences. Which is why healing from disordered eating is about more than just food. Welcome back to Food Is Food. Hey Real Breaker, I hope that you are well wherever you are tuning in from. Today you are going to be listening to me with a solo episode talking about one of my favorite topics, which is food rules or breaking food rules. So I really want to help you to understand what food rules are today because disordered eating is so normalized. And there's so much confusion around, or not even confusion, I think there's this lack of awareness that we have that actually maybe our relationship with food is not where we think it is, i.e., we are engaging in disordered eating behaviors, we are letting food rules dictate our food choices without even realizing that they're there. So I really want you to walk away today, having identified what the different food rules are, and if it resonates with you, then what I really get you to be curious about is do I need to start to challenge these in order to improve my relationship with food and have more of that flexibility, spontaneity, and freedom that I want with my own relationship with food. I just want to start by saying that food rules are a huge problem. And today I'm going to break it down into the four categories of food rules that I see in clinic. Now, if you remember from one of the first episodes in the Food is Food podcast, I spoke about disordered eating and it being in the middle of the spectrum where we have relationship with food and we have the behaviors that would align with an eating disorder diagnosis down one end. We have flexible, intuitive, spontaneous eating down the other. And then we have that messy middle of disordered eating behaviors. And when someone is engaging in disordered eating, generally that equates to or there is going to be a presence of food rules because that's what holds back food choices and behaviors from being and falling into that flexible intuitive category. So firstly, I want to start by thinking of some of the reasons why you might have food rules in your life. And this can be either a conscious food rule or something that is learned or subconscious, like you may not even have identified it as a food rule before because it is so ingrained in the way that you approach food and nutrition. I'm going to give you a sort of food, sort of non-food example here. How common is it that you have been told or you have read, if you are hungry, have a glass of water because you may be thirsty. Now, this is just one example of how diet culture and disordered eating creeps into our life. I'm here to tell you that thirst and hunger are two different things. So there may be some of these rules or beliefs that are so strongly ingrained that you believe that they're normal or because everyone else around you is eating that way, you're approaching food andor fluids in that way, that it must be normal. So food rules can exist from misinformation that we read online. Also, in terms of who our role models were growing up, did our parents or caregivers have a good relationship with food? And what was their nutrition knowledge like? And what have they passed down to us? And that then shapes our own relationship with food and how we view and how we might control food. Because a big part of why food rules exist is because there is an element of control as an answer to your problems. Food rules might also exist as a way to achieve a goal. So, for example, if I avoid all carbs, I will be able to get my bikini body for summer. Super relevant. We hear it all the time. Food rules also make eating potentially quite safe and predictable. So, especially within the context of an eating disorder, is that food rules can exist because of that safety net. Because if food is safe and predictable, then it means that there's less of those big feelings like anxiety. So by sticking to safe food choices with a limited variety of food, that can then sort of reinforce the idea that there are good foods and bad foods. So these foods make me feel good. Why would I have the foods that make me feel anxious? And part of what fuels and keeps food rules alive is this avoidance of big, difficult feelings, or those big feelings, I should say, very normal, you know, such as guilt, shame, greed for maybe eating more than what you thought is normal or eating quote unquote bad foods. So then it's a learned sort of behavior because, for example, if I eat crisps and chocolate and I feel guilty, therefore the best option for me in order to avoid these big feelings is to avoid crisps and chocolate. And therefore, that reinforces the disordered eating and strengthens the food rule. So it can be likely that you aren't even aware of the food rules that are in existence. When I work with clients in a one-to-one capacity and in my group program rule breaker, it's really common for people to experience this situation where they start to tackle and overcome one food rule, and then it's like it opens the door to 10 more food rules that they didn't even know exist. And this is really common, and it's what I like to call like a rule on rule, and it's not until you actually face the food or the rule that then you become aware of these sort of sub-rules because they can be so interwoven. It's like trying to untangle a ball of wool, is that we have to sort of you know do it thread by thread, rule by rule, because sometimes there's some knots in there that you might not be aware of. And I've alluded to it already, but just to be really clear is that food rules maintain disordered eating, and food rules will lead to restrictive eating behaviors. So they might make you feel in control, however, they're not going to solve any underlying problems or be the solution to the problem you are trying to control, such as maybe low self-worth or poor body image. I do want to clarify the difference between a strict food rule and more of a dieting mindset. And this is where I'm going to use the example of dietary restriction versus dietary restraint. So restraint is more of that dieting mindset. So for example, I will try to reduce my carbohydrate at dinner. It's not such a black and white rule that we see with dietary restrictions. So dietary restriction, where there's generally a rule associated with it, the difference will be I will not eat any carbohydrates for dinner. So hopefully you can see the little sort of adjustment there in the approach to food. So strict food rules that come from more of that restriction mindset are harmful to both our physical and psychological health. Even if you can't see it, it is taking us away from being able to be fully flexible, spontaneous humans because there is going to be this little niggle, little inner critic, little part of our brain that's constantly overthinking food choices. And that is often sort of feeds into that black or white or all or nothing mindset that we can have when it comes to nutrition. But most importantly, both the dietary restraint and restriction, they can impact your relationship with food negatively. And why it's important to address both the restraint and the restriction is because restraint can very quickly develop into restriction or a strict dietary rule. So, for example, when I support clients to overcome binge eating and emotional eating, dietary restraint is a common sort of barrier that I see. So it may be that people are eating enough, they're eating balanced meals. And this is actually, you know, now that I'm just talking about it out loud, I see this in all types of eating disorders and disordered eating, where someone might say, you know, I'll give you an example from a recent client, is that they'll have a balanced meal, but instead of having pasta, they had rice cakes instead. So yes, on paper, they've ticked the boxes, they've got their protein, carbs, fats, fiber, but there is an element of restraint, and that comes down to there being a food rule around some types of carbohydrates are not allowed or are bad, must be avoided, must be limited. What I'll say about food rules is that they are made to be broken. They need to be broken in order for you to have a healthy relationship with food. That is why I developed the Rule Breaker program. The name says it all. That program is specifically designed to help you to break food rules. So moving on to the four different categories of food rules. So I just want you to really try to be open and curious about each of these categories and thinking about is the way that I approach food and nutrition does it fall into any of these? Do I have any elements of restriction when it comes to these four categories? So the first category is when to eat. Food rules around when to eat are often tied into the timing and situation that a food is eaten. So for example, I can only start eating after 12 p.m., or I will not eat in front of my colleagues at work, or I can only eat pizza on a weekend. So it might be related to time specifically during the day, or time sort of across the span of a week, or situational, so who you're eating with and the environment that you're eating in. Another really common one is for people to say things like, oh, dessert foods only able to be eaten in the evening, or oh goodness, I couldn't possibly have chocolate in the morning even if I'm craving it. So they are your time-based or when-to-eat food rules. The next category is how much to eat. So this is related to the quantity of food that the food rule will dictate how much you can have. And it's usually driven by strict portions and calories. So for example, I'm only allowed to eat X number of calories for a snack, or I can only choose a ready meal that's less than X number of calories, or I've used an energy requirements calculator and I'm never allowed to eat more than that number that the calculator showed me. So if you are tracking calories or using tools such as my Fitness Pal in a very strict way, then it is likely that there are food rules that exist around how much to eat for sure. And then there might be more subtle ways that the disordered eating presents. So for example, if you are comparing two foods and you always go for the lowest calorie one, even if it's not what you want, that's a rule around how much you're able to or allowed to. Then we have the category of what to eat. So this is specifically around the different types of foods. So really common one, I can't eat carbohydrates because they're bad for me, quote unquote. Carbohydrates are not bad for you. Or I will only eat foods with ingredients I recognize. So please go back and listen to the podcast episode with Maeve Hammond about ultra-processed foods. This is a really good example here where you know I'm seeing more and more people avoiding the category of ultra-processed foods completely without any nuance or context behind how those foods are being categorized. So it's really common to see people avoiding and restricting foods from the carbohydrate and fat category. Sugars and higher energy foods are probably the most common foods that I see people restrict. And what's really important is that by restricting whole food groups or particular types of foods, they can often then become a trigger for foods that people overeat or binge on. And usually there are some foods that are more tightly controlled than others, and that comes back to sort of rules within rules and that interweb or ball of wool sort of analogy. Now, what I see in clinic, and this might resonate with you too, is that I work with so many people where they will say to me, But Talia, I I eat all foods. I don't have any food rules, there's no foods that I avoid. And this is where thinking about the different categories of food rules is really important because you might eat all types of foods, but in what context are you able to eat them? In what portion are you able to eat them? What other circumstances might impact the how much and the when? So you might not have food rules around what to eat, but what is holding you back from being able to eat flexibly and intuitively is the how much and the when rules. So that's really important to bring some awareness to. And then the last category is how to eat. So if you listened to the podcast episode on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, you will hopefully remember that the eating behaviors that developed during the study are very much what we see in disordered eating as well. So it can be driven by restriction and undernutrition. But the how-to-eat rules are around the method of eating and any eating rituals that you have. So, for example, you might use a knife and fork to eat a sandwich, or you might cut food into small pieces. Now, what's really important here is to remember the cultural influence of how we eat food. For example, there are cultures that use their hands to eat food. There are cultures like in the Western world that use cutlery. So really important to be thinking about the cultural influence, and this is where the intention and context comes into play. But if you are avoiding eating with your hands because there's a fear of maybe the texture of the food on your fingers, and again, there's going to be overlap with these eating behaviors with diagnoses such as autism and ADHD. So when I talk about eating behaviors and the how-to-eat rule, I just want you to think about it from a high level, of course, there's going to be other potential factors that we'd need to consider here. So how to eat might include food rules around how many condiments, how little or too much people use, thinking about salt, pepper, tomato ketchup. Tomato ketchup sounds very American there. In Australia, we say tomato sauce. So tomato sauce, mayonnaise, mustard, those sorts of things. It may even include looking at recipes obsessively, so scrolling through social media, saving lots of recipes, trying to find the perfect recipe, or spending hours deciding on what to cook. It could be varying the amount of fluid that you drink to suppress hunger, or drinking very little out of fear. That really does fall into that how food, fluids, nutrition is viewed. It may be eating foods in a particular order or changing the pace of eating. So eating really slowly to delay completing a meal, or there being a chance of eating less, or very quickly to get the meal over with. So eating behaviors they can develop as a byproduct of dietary restriction or as a coping mechanism to reduce anxiety or increase this sense of control. And where the challenge is when we think about food rules related to not only when to eat, but the how much, the what, the when, is that when these food rules are followed for many months or years, they can become very ritualistic and people might lose sight of what the normal alternative is. So when we think about overcoming these different food rules, this is where a program such as Rulebreaker is so helpful. And I will be talking about this in an episode in a couple of weeks. But there is a waiting list in the show notes if you want to pop your details in there. You'll be the first to find out when the program and registration opens for the next RuleBreaker challenge starting at the beginning of September. But when we think about overcoming these food rules or breaking them, the RAVES acronym sort of gives you insight as to what can also help. So when we think about when to eat, eating regularly and challenging specific timings. So going back to the RAVES acronym. So again, one of the first episodes that we did where I interviewed Shane Jeffrey is thinking about regular eating. So eating regularly can, as a result, just challenge any food rules that you have about when to eat, or you might need to specifically challenge meal timings. And that might look like, you know, if you don't allow yourself to eat any food before 12, it might be for the very first time that you take one mouthful of food at 11:59 and 30 seconds. We are talking about small, sustainable changes that are going to help you to in the future eat in a way that is more flexible and spontaneous. Now, when we think about how much to eat, it's going to differ depending on the person, but what I see online is that there's such a huge focus on eating less. And that's what can influence our beliefs about what is normal, what is quote unquote too much. So if you are confused about what does a normal meal look like, or might it look like, I do have a freebie to download on the website, which is a portioning guide, how to build a balance plate, which gives you a rough guide on what that normal main meal portion looks like. So some other things that you can potentially do here is ask someone else to portion for you, or add a little sprinkle more of cheese, for example, into the salad that you're making. So you're gently nudging the food rule and challenging it. So when we think about what to eat, that is where that graded repeated exposure is really helpful. Some of you may heard me talking online previously about challenge, repeat, challenge, repeat. The only way to overcome food rules such as what to eat is by including the food and having it again and again and again. That's the only way for you to then be able to what I call neutralize your relationship with that particular food. And that will then get you to a place where you can then decide: is this a true preference that I don't like this food? Or has it been driven by a food rule that I didn't even realize existed, or maybe I did, but I was too scared to challenge it. And then we have the how to eat category. So, for example, if you use a little spoon, you could use a big spoon, you could change the way that you eat certain elements on your plate. There's lots of different eating behaviors and rules that can exist there, but that's just to give you a few ideas. One of the conversations that I have in clinic all the time is how do I know if it's a food rule or if it's a preference? And this is where intention matters. So What is the driving force behind why you are avoiding or limiting a food? Is it fear or anxiety driven? Does eating a food make you feel guilt or shame? Because that is likely then a food rule. A preference, and I said this to one of my clients, a food preference is more like you get a little scrunchy nose. If you're watching this on YouTube, it'd be like, oh, like I don't like that food. Whereas eating a food that is rule-based is going to bring up some of those emotions that you are trying to avoid. Or it might be connected to fears around body weight or shape changes. Or it might be connected to misinformation around if I eat this food, it's going to have an impact on my body. So if I eat a sugar-containing food, I'm going to instantly get diabetes or have high blood sugar levels. So I will give you an example of food preference versus a food rule. Two examples actually of my own. So I used to be a super fussy eater when I was a child going into adolescence. It wasn't until around I was 15 that I started to expand my diet just on my own, learning about nutrition. Now there are two foods that I'm going to share with you. Now, one I thought was a dislike. So I didn't eat seafood from maybe five or six years of age until I was in my early to mid-20s. Just didn't like it. Now, funny enough, I went on a date and they cooked me a prawn pasta. They did not know that I did not like seafood. I ate the pasta. I ate all the prawns. Did I like it? No. But I didn't feel guilt or anxiety, shame, or greed for eating the food. So that's what I mean by a food preference. You are allowed to have dislikes. But the thing about dislikes, so such as a seafood, is that I actually learned to like seafood. Now I eat it all the time. So over the course of two or three years, I actually taught myself to like seafood because for me personally, I wanted that food in my life from a nutritional perspective: omega-3s, zinc, a different protein source that I could lean on. And so I repeatedly had seafood. I did not like it for many months, but my taste buds slowly accustomed to it, and I learned how to cook it in a way that wasn't so fishy. I learned what types of seafood and fish were less fishy than others, and that was really helpful at the beginning. Now, the other example that I want to give you is probably the one food that I would say is a true dislike is watermelon. I just do not like it. My husband is Greek and absolutely loves watermelon. It's served all the time at restaurants at the end of a meal, and I don't eat it, I don't touch it. Now that is something that I have tried to expose myself to even when we were in Greece about a month ago, I again had a few little bites of watermelon and my taste buds just do not like it. Now, if both of those were food rules, it would be that either I would completely avoid them and not give myself an opportunity to try it and see if maybe my food preferences changed, or by having those little bites, it would have led me to spiral into this sort of emotional response of fear, anxiety, greed, and impact the rest of what I was eating. So what we know about food rules is that if a food rule is broken and someone's relationship with food is still sort of sitting in the unhealthy or unhelpful sort of side of the spectrum, is that then there may be compensation for it. So for example, if I had a really strict rule around I cannot eat seafood and then I ate some of it and I felt like a failure, I may then have responded by, well, therefore I'm not having dessert because I don't deserve it, I've already eaten too much. So that is how food rules can have that flow and effect to impact the rest of your eating, rather than if we view it from the perspective of a food preference. It's that scrunchy nose experience, oh, I didn't really like that, but we move on. We close the door and we move on from it and we don't give it any more thought other than God, I really did not like that food. So with dislikes, dislikes are there. We may try to not eat them, but sometimes we might be exposed to them and we have a choice then do we eat it, do we don't? Close the door, scrunchy nose, and move on. Now, this is different to specific aversions to food. So, for example, I've worked with people who have had strong aversions to ingredients such as coriander. So I'm not talking about aversions to food here, again, just in the context of neurodiversity, I'm not going into depth here about how that can impact the types of foods from a maybe sensory colour taste perspective, but just high-level thinking about food rules and the food choices that you have and what is the driving force behind them. So the only way to be able to separate a food rule from a preference is that you have to eat the foods and eat it repeatedly. So please know that there is hope, and even thinking about expanding your diet variety, even from a preference perspective, it can take months or many years. Think about the seafood example that I gave. It took me a couple of years to get to a place that I now eat pretty much all types of seafood. So it's not a quick fix, but you can take steps today, even that little nudge forward, such as I'm going to take a mouthful of food before 12 pm if I have a time-based rule. If this is something that you've been feeling really stuck on for months or years, then please do head to the website, look at Rulebreaker, sign up to the waiting list because I would absolutely love to be able to support you to be a rule breaker and start to overcome and break down your food rules. Thanks so much for tuning in. If you can, it would be so super helpful in helping this podcast to reach more people to just drop a five-star review on Spotify, or if you're watching on YouTube, please hit subscribe. Thank you so much. Thank you for tuning in to Food Is Food. If you found the episode nourishing, hit subscribe so you don't miss our weekly episodes. And just before we wrap up, a little reminder that the discussions in each episode are for informational purposes and don't replace individualized advice. Because every recovery journey is so unique. Please consult your healthcare provider for support. That's all for today. Stay nourished and see you next time.