SPEAKER_01 0:00

Well, good afternoon. If you're watching on the East Coast, good morning on the West Coast. Jonathan and uh Pastor Russell taking your questions again live. We had a good time doing that yesterday. So I figured we'd do it again today on our final dance bookend. Thanks again for having me here this week. Yes, sir. Love you, brother. It's been great. Um well let's get right to the questions. We can take more. As PKs, penalty kickers, what's a valuable ministry lesson you learned directly or indirectly from your dad? I'll be interested to hear your answer.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

As a PK, what's a valuable ministry lesson? Uh we talked about it, uh, I think I mentioned it to you last night. Um my dad uh was the dean uh of a Bible college growing up, and so that was like primarily uh the ministry context he operated in. And uh so my dad taught me a lot of kind of life lessons, ministry lessons in the in the in my like early college years, and one of the things he would always say to me with preaching is if you don't hit oil after 30 minutes, quit quit drilling, you know. So uh uh a lot of different little quips, mottos, uh some insights, uh, some academic stuff. But then the growing up years, it was more like your your dad just put the fear of God in you uh so that you didn't screw up. So a lot of a lot of lessons like don't be an idiot, don't be dumb, don't don't screw this up, fear of God. You know, you talk about like growing up and you're like, oh yeah, we grew up at a home, we didn't drink. You're like, yeah, if you had my dad, you wouldn't drink either. You know, it's just those lessons of like you know, your dad was kind of like the authoritative figure in your life, and it kind of helps you get on the straight road.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

As a preacher's kid, what's a valuable ministry lesson you learned directly or indirectly from your dad? I would say, um, in our family, it's why I kind of have a revulsion to um, you know, balance family and ministry and all that. My my dad taught me in a good way that like ministry was everything. You know, God's kingdom is everything. It's worth sacrificing your life for, let alone your time. And um that got instilled in me, I would say indirectly, never sat me down and told me, but just watching how him operate, my mom uh not complain that he was going. And we had a good time as a family. I would I would say that's another thing, indirectly, is we had a great time in the ministry. We laughed our heads off all the time. So it was great. Um, I would say my dad directly, my dad preached on sin a lot. Four stages of sin, mistakes, mistakes. My dad would have sermons like mistakes that uh uh make cost people an eternity in hell. Like that's the whole that was the whole sermon. So um it puts a good foundation in you to live holy, holiness and righteousness and valuing those things. Uh my dad did not have any shred of the new wave of um, you know, we all sin every day, and God understands. There was none of that, even though there was understanding that God will forgive you. It was that it was a big deal to mess up. You shouldn't mess up. God's given you power. Um Sandra, who's preaching in Phoenix April 4th? I'll be visiting the area. Go or don't go. You're gonna go to church anyway. So what the heck? Gotta have like a good enough preacher for you to attend. I'm gonna have Billy Graham come back from the dead just for you. Um as much as my dad plays it like he's super straight laced now, he was extremely light-hearted and carefree and joking around and sarcastic. And I think the people that make other ministers depressed and have to take sabbaticals, my dad would mock would mock those people and we'd all laugh at them. So it just it he taught me a lot of great things about how to make it in the ministry. Of course, his dad was in the ministry a long time. So, you know, ministers that go 60 years behave in a certain way that allow them to go 60 years. They know how to restorate, they know how to have fun. You don't meet anybody, anybody you see in the ministry that's not having fun. They're gonna be done at like 50, 52, 55. Yeah, max. Guys that go a long time in the ministry are very like happy, joking around, jovial people. So I learned that from my dad. Holiness is a big one. I would say directly, my dad gave me a Bible and wrote in the in the front cover, um, this book will keep you from sin, and sin will keep you from this book. And my dad was big on reading the Bible every day. Um my dad didn't sit us down and pray with us. I'm not saying he wasn't big on prayer, but my dad was very big on the Bible, and uh so was my mom. So I have a book. That book that I was joking around about, oh no, no, it's a different book. Uh Everything a Man Should Be, Eight Lessons I Learned from My Father, or something like that. If you're interested in like a full answer, oh yeah, Everything a Man Should Be, Eight Things My Father Showed Me That Produced a Blessed Life. I wrote that on a Father's Day just before COVID. Um, or it got published then, and that was as a tribute to my dad. He did a did a great job. And if you think I'm a piece of garbage, he did the best he could. Next. Any advice for a young preacher? How do I know if I'm flowing in my God-given gift?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

I you know, I look for evidence of um, you know, the results uh as it pertains to what you're interested in doing. When Moses is on the mountain and he asks God for um his his to to see God's glory, you know, the Lord hides him in the cleft of the rock and he passes in front of Moses, and and the Bible says the goodness of God passes in front of Moses. So Moses asks to see God's glory, and the net result is the goodness of God passes in front of Moses. And so I I like to look for like the evidence of the goodness of God as it pertains to the gift and the call that's on your life. The Bible says a man's gift makes room for him. So sometimes there can be a chasma difference between somebody who uh you know wants to be gifted in an area and somebody who is actually gifted in an area. And so uh as it pertains to the development of the calling of God on your life, you know, I think similar with you, you you know, we're in Bible college, you're going to homiletics courses, you know, people are learning how to preach, or reading, you know, like Hayden Robinson's, you know, book on biblical preaching. You're, you know, discussing and developing and learning the hermeneutics and you know the art of communication. But at the end of the day, like either you have it or uh you don't. And it doesn't mean that you can't grow in it. You know, we say gifts are free, but their development is is is is is costly. But you know, sometimes I see people and it's almost like they're standing on one side of the looking glass, looking at somebody else who's wired or gifted differently on the other side of the looking glass, wishing that you know that they could be them or have that thing on their life or or whatever. And when you get comfortable just with who God has made you to be, you know, that's really where you can come into that acceleration of of of the the development of your gift. There's there's only one of you. Everybody else is already taken. Uh, and the anointing uh that comes from God's Spirit rests on who you actually are, not on who you pretend to be. And so when it comes to um uh, you know, how do I know if I'm flowing in my God-given gift? We were talking about this last night at the table uh after service, even as it pertains to using humor in preaching. Um, that's something that you know you really have a gift uh to do, and it naturally flows.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Gift or curse.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Gift or curse. But then when somebody else, if they try to copy that and it's not really naturally who they are, they'd have like husbands waiting for them in the parking lot to coach them and stuff. It's awkward and it's forced and it's you know, so what is your uh yeah, I script my sermons, the the you know, pages long. Sometimes I do more reading of the scripted sermons, sometimes I'm flowing more and it's it's jumping off, but that's how God's wired my brain. Um it's more nerdy, it's more uh, you know, I when I preach, I'm not trying to use bigger words in an effort to sound you know smart or or intellectual. It's just that that's kind of how my brain thinks. And it's just okay, that's who God has made me, that's the lane. I I lean into that. Um and I'm not the uh I understand what I am, I understand what I'm not. So when you're watching other people preach and you're seeing their styles, there's all those little tips or tricks that you can pick up that are platitudes. They're going to apply broadly just to communication styles, but there's gonna be something specific about the way you preach, the way you teach, the way you that's kind of like your unique idiosyncratic quality that you're bringing to the table. Find out what that is, double down on your distinctives, and if there's goodness attached to it, if there's like results attached to it, it's like, yeah, dope, that's how God's using you. If you just suck at it and it you and there's no oil there, then you know, that's not what God's breathing on. You know, if God's breathing on it, it's clear, you're getting feedback. People are like, oh man, that's the real thing on your life. Uh, but if it's just something you're just trying to force and make happen, and you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

A gift, like Pastor Russell was saying in the beginning, you can refine your gift, but your gift is your five smooth stones and your sling. You don't feel comfortable with Saul's armor and you feel right about the the doing it the other way, because it it's it's your way. Um a gift, the Bible says, makes room for you and brings you before great men. So if you have a gift, that's why anybody that says, Um, I just have such a great gift and no one's giving me any opportunities, you actually have no gift because if you have one, it it just opens up for you. I mean, I can't tell you, even when I was younger, I'd be sitting somewhere, they'd go, oh, Jonathan's here. Why don't you come up and just uh preach for a little bit? You know, like like just seeing me like sitting two-thirds of the way in the back, because that's what happens. When you have a gift, people, people want you, people, people open it up. And uh, if you have to force it, the old saying, if you have to force it, it's not God, is absolutely true. Now that I've eviscerated Sandra for asking who's preaching in Phoenix, a simple, nice question. It's my dad. My dad is gonna do April 4th in Phoenix, and my dad is doing April 5th Easter in LA. So there'll be two two big services on the West Coast while I'm in in uh Pittsburgh. Next question. Oh, by the way, if you want to submit questions like people are asking, you can go to my Instagram at JD Shuttlesworth, and it's in the story. So if you do it on YouTube, comments or whatever, we're not gonna answer, but if you'll submit it, we'll pop it up on the screen for everybody. Best places to eat, visit in Arizona. We're currently here on vacation. I think I know who wrote that. Is this from yesterday or today? Maybe more people are on vacation in Arizona. Um there's a couple from a church in Texas that's on vacation, and I I I gave them some suggestions. They've done everything I've said, and they're like blown away. You from someone who does not like the outdoors at all, you have to see the Grand Canyon. It makes every other state uh national park like like nothing. Uh there's nothing like it. There's no picture that can do it justice. It's the most if I was there, I wouldn't even try to take pictures of it or video. It just you can't capture it. Um to eat, there's a place called Mariposa Grill in Sedona that has a killer view in Sedona. Roka Accor in Scottsdale is great. It's a top 10 steakhouse and top 50 sushi place, all in the all in the same place. And then uh Lupita Hot Dog is open until two in the morning if you're if you're like off on the time um and you get hungry late at night, and they're great. It's like surrounded by barbed wire fences, it's it's like church folding tables and and folding chairs out in the parking lot. It and the food is phenomenal. So that's great.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

And they got a great Jersey mics and fish.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Jersey Mics is great anywhere. I like Jersey Mics. There was a baseball player that showed up 17 pounds overweight to training camp, and they asked him what the problem was. He said, Too much jersey mics. Let's go. Next, what are the first three things a person should do when starting a ministry?

SPEAKER_00 12:37

Don't sleep with anyone you're not married to.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yeah, and I'm sure people are gonna write like L O L, but we're not LOLing. With all everything that's gone on, I would not sleep with anyone you're not married to, and I would not send any communication that you send out before you send it, think if this was screenshotted and sent to someone who hates me and is looking to take me down, could this be used? You know, it's why I already like love you and your family, not I love you, to like a lady, because because you know, if somebody's looking to take you down, could they use what you're sending against you? Don't be loose with your communication and don't be don't you know don't be loose. Of course, if you're not loose with your communication, you're not gonna end up having sex because it's it starts obviously you're gonna have to flirt first unless you just zip ties and uh duct tape or whatever. So I'm not trying to throw out ideas for sexual assault. I'm just saying. So I would say, yeah, I'd say that. I'd keep your conduct extremely clean. What else?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah, determine uh what what exactly you're shooting for. Um sometimes when people are are starting out and and launching a ministry, my my feeling is like it is overly broad uh in the sense that there's not a definitive um thing that you're going after. You know, so like you'll meet somebody at the church or at a conference and they have started a ministry. And me, you, and Jay was talking about this the other night. Then they'll have a business card, and then they're handing you their business card to tell you about their ministry, and it's like, well, you know, what do you do? Well, I'm kind of just God's solution in the earth for all things under heaven, and I'm, you know, an apostolic, prophetic, evangelistic, pastoral teacher. I like your three things that you're bringing up.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Sexual conduct, humility. You know, there's not, I can tell you now that somehow I became a leader, there's nothing that's a bigger turnoff than like, I'm just like very gifted. I would love to serve here and add to this church. It's like, shut, just shut up. No one that's actually gifted talks like that. Or that's like an actual Christian talks like that. When people are trying to push themselves forward, I hope I've been an example of that to everybody, that I've done everything in my power to not get invited anywhere. And it opened up anyway. That's how it should be. Not you trying to like and upset you're not used more, and um that, you know, they let that person preach on Wednesday nights. I could do much better than that. That's why you don't preach. Because no, you God doesn't like people like you. It's called pride. No one in the history of the world has ever said, I have pride. But there's markers to show that you have pride, which is, you know, I'm so great. If people only knew how great I was, they would be using me more. You know, that's why I played that thing of Camila cleaning the bathroom yesterday. It made me happy because she's not gonna be like that. So my dad's the pastor, I don't have to clean the bathrooms. Have somebody else do it. Adallis is breaking that in her. Right. And um, and she she receives it. You have to be like a smooth person. You're not trying to put yourself forward. You genuinely have care for the church, whether you get any credit or not. Otherwise, God forbid, if you do get promoted, you're gonna be an abusive a-hole. And we've got, as we've seen in news stories, we have plenty of those. That that those kind of character traits are what cause you to abuse interns and and all that, because you just think you're awesome and everybody should have to do what you say, and you flex your power. If if you actually are a shepherd like Christ and David, where you care for the sheep and you just want to see people do well, and you don't care if you get any credit or not, that's the kind of people God can use.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Yeah, and then when you if you operate as like I'm God, you know, I'm God's gift to the body, I'm just the the the greatest, broadest, most, you know, ministry competent individual on earth, not only is it a turnoff, but you're living under like this delusion of grandeur of uh and and you know, I think competence in ministry doesn't go from going broad, it comes from going deep. So what what is the thing that God has you know placed on your life that that you feel has been confirmed by others? What has been, you know, like Paul writes Timothy, you know, stir up that gift which is in you by virtue of the laying on of my hands. And so um I think when sometimes people are getting started out in ministry, it's like, well, what is this? You know, when we planted uh 11 years ago, we were starting a church, it wasn't an apostolic training missional center for supernatural ministry. It was a church. And um, you know, that church was gonna meet on Sundays. And it doesn't mean that we weren't ever gonna do other things or have, you know, other tentacles connected to the the church, but that that that's what we were starting. And um the the the uh I think it was Spurgeon who says um ambiguity is the fortress of heretics. Well, what are you? Well, we're we're just everything, we're all things, we're nothing. We're a church, but we're not really a church, we're a ministry center, but it's empowerment, but it's this, but it's you know what what what is it uh ministry-wise, be be specific, have the ability to communicate what you are what you're doing and what God has placed on your life in under 10 or 12 seconds, even to unbelievers.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yes, and be able to explain the value where anyone could understand the value of what you do, right? No, no, I wasn't cutting you off. I was just I mean, I was sort of but like just like a shortcutting off. So there's there's two, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:57

So keep your conduct clean, don't be a prick, and then I think number three, you look for like people who, like you always say, who you connect with matters. So uh, you know, something that's a red flag to me is when people are self-appointed committees of one who are operating like as um the the Lone Ranger, you know, I call them uh 1099 Christians. You know, I'm an independent contractor. No, who are you with? Who are you, you know, if one puts a thousand a flight and two puts ten, who are you part, who who who are your role, what what are the things that that that the community that you're a part of, who you're partnering with, what you're doing in the earth, um, you know, or is it just kind of like the the the the the the the look at me show? And so, you know, I'm I'm looking for like don't okay, please don't have sex with anybody you don't know. Have have some specificity as it pertains to what God has placed on your life to do. And then don't be looking as a lone ranger. You there's a reason why Jesus sends them out two by two. It it helps not only protect you, but it adds like this exponential, you know, like when when the church does math, God does multiplication. One plus one is two in our world, but one to two is is one thousand to ten thousand in God's world. And so the the partnership of looking for people who are gonna share a similar thing that you're running with so that you're not getting weird, you're not getting wacky, you're not doing it alone, you've got somebody to back you up, you got a friend that you can go to war with, I guess that'd be my three.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

I like your three. I I have nothing to add. I would say um I would just I guess I would add that like it's not a th it's not one of the three things. But then once you do that, enjoy who you are and where God's placed you. Instead of always being discontent, wishing you were doing something else. You know, there's guys that are great preachers that are obsessed with getting a PhD and they're not intellectual. And then they so they want to be like intellectual teachers. Then there's you know there's people that if they taught and would just be intellectual like God made them, but they they want to be um uh uh an evangelist or something. Once you figure out what you are, what your five smooth stones and your sling is, be glad where God's placed you instead of being like, you know, I I pastor in this little town in Ohio. If God would give me a church in Chicago or a big city, I know I could be much bigger. You're not there. And God's not an idiot that that underutilizes his assets. And boy, if if if God wasn't so stupid and knew how great I was, right, he wouldn't have me in this little place, he'd have me in a bigger place. Again, that's pride. Be glad you get to be in the kingdom of God. Be glad you're saved, let alone now you get to actually serve in the kingdom of God, and then take whatever is set before you and whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

100% agree.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Next. What if as a woman I feel more comfortable confiding in a male mentor rather than a female? Um, there's nothing wrong with that, but I it's just like, what do you mean by confiding and what you're confiding? There's some things that you don't belong telling your spiritual leader. I don't, you know, uh this movement in Christianity to like talk about sex like as if people don't know how to have sex and you know, like get that going, I think it's a mistake. And I I think uh if you're sharing intimate things with somebody from the opposite sex, that's bad. And I think you also need to be wise about like, of course, there you you haven't mentioned this in your question, which I'm happy with, so I'm just taking it generally. If you're married, protect your spouse, kind of. You know, you can say, please pray for my husband. He's going through a hard time. You don't have to say, My husband has a pornography addiction. Right. And this is what he likes to look at. So that when he finally does come around, he can't go to that church because everybody is creeped out by him. You know? I've had guys say guys do it too. I I I had a guy, I was with Adallis, and he was there, and his wife was sitting next to him, and he's like, before my wife got saved, she was involved in every sin imaginable. Well, I think I have more of a vivid imagination than you. I said, mass murder? Body mutilation? Well, no, not that. Okay, well, you said every sin imaginable. And I just I just said two, and we already said no to those two. So, like, why why why do that? You know, so if you're confiding um things about your ministry or business that you don't want anyone to know, that's different. But if if you're gonna start with an opposite sex ministry leader talking to him about how lonely you are, and um, my husband doesn't have sex with me, and I just I I I you know I need that. Okay, you're going down a road that that's pro that's very problematic. So, yeah, there's nothing wrong with with having a leader that's of the opposite sex. Jesus talked to the woman at the well, but you know, it should be spiritual business, not crossing the line to like, you know, no conversation should have like, you know, I really enjoy spending time with you. I really wish my husband would do this. I've even told people, I've I told like two ladies in the last three years, they're like, I keep telling my husband he needs to come here and hear you. Yeah, you know, I he he needs to, you've said you do this with the house. I've been telling him he needs to, I was like, quit telling him that. You're gonna make him want to punch me and not not come to church. You know, if you're a lady, don't watching Pastor Russell, you know, I'm telling you, he's the best. Don't talk like that to your husband. Most guys are super insecure. And if you're watching some preacher four hours a day and barely talking to them and telling him how much you love this guy, you're gonna make him never want to come to church and kill you and kill me. So if if you could, I know that's a long, I went on a different trail if right you're looking for. So to answer the question, as a woman, you feel more comfortable confiding a male, that's fine. But just stay on those guardrails that that I gave you, and then nobody gets killed.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Yeah, and eventually, like in every, I think, serious mentoring relationship, yeah, there's a lot of stuff you can do in groups or whatever, but you know, in like a real uh serious type mentoring relationship, then there's always uh it always um involves some sort of you know one-on-one instruction, one-on-one type development. And I think that's where the that that whole thing can get real weird. And we were talking about this a little last night, but people talk about, you know, this is my spiritual daughter, this is my spiritual son, or I'm their spiritual mom. I'm glad you brought that up. I'm their spiritual stepmom, I'm the spiritual. It just gets weird. Like, like we don't people get into these emotionally kind of complex relationships, and you know, at our church, uh, you know, there's sometimes where I'm the boss, sometimes where I'm the employer, sometimes where I'm the pastor, sometimes where I'm the friend, you know, my wife works at the church, so then sometimes I'm the husband. And so there's a lot of different hats that I'm gonna wear on any typical day as I'm interacting with a lot of different, you know, people. Um, and so I've I've really got to be aware of what setting I'm in and and then kind of like adjust my expectations and my communication to try to you know better match those settings. And you know, we have um uh great guys and gals who work for us at the church. Some of the people who work for us at the church, I was their you know, high school teacher 15 years ago, and uh they've stayed with us in the ministry and grown with us. And you know, there was one time at one time, uh, you know, like I think 10 or 11 different people, all who had either worked at the church or were a part of the church, who were all living in our house. In the early days, you know, we couldn't afford to uh uh have a house. The only way that we could afford to live was that people were renting rooms from us, things of that, you know. So we've always been around a lot of people. It's like I'm not elitist or exclusive and not wanting to hang with the people, and you know, I want to thank all the little people who helped me. No, we're not like that, but you've got to have some sort of common sense type uh uh, you know, uh guardrails and and and common sense understanding here because especially in a mentoring relationship, there's there's only so much or so far that you can talk to somebody, uh a member of the opposite sex without it, you know, crossing the line into other things. And so, yeah, if there's a young uh female preacher on our staff who's like, hey, I really want to grow in my ability to communicate, it's like, yeah, sure. Uh I'm happy to sit down uh with you or sit down with a cohort of people and walk them through, you know, how to prepare a sermon, what I look for, you know, the proper hermeneutic, you know, the Westland quadrilateral, all that type of stuff. But, you know, you want to start talking about like, you know, uh your sex life with your husband or how to, you know, overcome lust and you know things of that nature, right? I'm not your guy. You need to be talking to a female mentor about that type of thing because then all of a sudden you're taking this emotionally complex, enmeshed, triangulated, you know, relationship. And even if you don't do nothing wrong, even if it's me or you, we don't do nothing wrong, hold the line, just share advice. It doesn't change how that conversation can be reinterpreted down the line. Well, you know, they said this, and you're like, no, I didn't I didn't I said everything with a pure motive. I gave biblical advice. Well, yeah, but see, then it gets reinterpreted six months, six years, whatever. So I try to be like not paranoid, but almost paranoid.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Yes. I agree. You you have to conduct yourself in the ministry as if anything you do is gonna be twisted the wrong way, which is why I've kind of chosen a route. You know, somebody that works at Revival Today could say, Jonathan, never spent any time with me, but nobody can say like I did anything crazy. So I'll take the never spend any time with me because it's just, I mean, yeah, and I'll be with people sometimes, but basically in ministry settings, in groups. I will tell you, because it seems like there's a lot of people that are too stupid to understand this, or they didn't, you know, I don't I I'm not saying this sarcastically, but like because I had a good mom and dad, I don't understand what it's like to like need a father figure or a mother or whatever. So since people use that against people, where like there's a young lady that didn't have a dad, and then the pastor who's revered in that church takes an interest in her. You're great, and I can see God's hands on your life. And then you, you know, would you like to come over after church? And and yeah, the wife's there and stuff, but it's weird. I'm telling you, don't no real man of God is gonna invite you over his house as a lady, even if the family's there or whatever. It's just that that's not done. Um, and that, and I'm saying, like you, and if they're inviting 15 people, that's different. But, you know, I don't take a woman out to eat, me, Abraham, and her. It still is creepy. Then basically, Abraham's there is like to run interference, like Mike Tyson's bodyguard. So if something, here's another thing: be sensitive to your spirit. Anybody that gets in trouble like that, after the fact, I'm talking like even even the people that get abused. It's like, you know, when he asked me to come over, I it felt weird, but I thought he's the pastor. Never do that. Never think, but when something hits you wrong, go with your spirit.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

Don't allow like external information ever to override what you feel in your spirit. Because if you protect those steps, that's what leads to trouble. So if something feels wrong, it is wrong. If a guy's crossing a line, he's crossing the line. Doesn't matter that he's a pastor or that he's a spiritual leader. Or, you know, don't let people use that position to get you to override things you know are wrong. You want me to give you an example that happened to me this happened to me one time traveling? Uh I was 22 or three, not married. I was flying to my friend's wedding. He was having me um take part in officiating his wedding in Indiana. So one of the stewardesses on the plane was sitting two rows up from me, turned around, started talking to me, and we talked a little bit throughout the flight. And then when we were getting off the flight, she went, Um, how long's your connection? I said, it's like four hours. She went, Want to get dinner? It was like five o'clock. I'm single. I there's nothing wrong with having dinner with with a lady. Uh so it like there's literally technically nothing wrong with me having dinner with this stewardess. Having said that, you know what I thought? I'm trying to think of the pastor I was going to preach for. He was like an older Italian Pentecostal pastor. This this thought candy. Okay. Plus, you know, I got four hours to kill. It'd be nice to the lady, was nice, she was pretty. Why not? I thought, if I go to have dinner with her, if this pastor walked by, would I would my reaction be to be like, hey, hey, um, this is somebody, you know, what why yes, I would feel defensive. I would feel like I need to explain why I'm doing because I look shady AF. So I said, uh I said, no, thank you. I said, I appreciate it, but no thing. Why? I said, eh, I'm good. And then I and then I left. That one, I'm not saying she she wanted to have sex. I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying, if you avoid the appearance of evil, it it I deep down I knew this is not right. You know, I'm not marrying this lady. I was 22, she was like like probably 40. And like, this is not good. This is something that if my dad walked by, he'd be like, what the hell are you? You know, I probably want to say hell, but he might say hell. He'd think it. He'd think it for sure. What the hell are you doing? Who's this lady? Uh oh, um, I'm just having, you know, if you're doing anything that if somebody you respect, you'd have to kind of like brace up and offer an explanation without anyone even asking, right? It's wrong. So if if if you run like that, you won't get into trouble because you're not even giving place for the trouble. Can I have the scripture about avoiding the appearance of evil?

SPEAKER_00 31:37

If she was working for Spirit Airlines, she didn't want to sleep with you, she just wanted to steal your identity.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Yeah. Yeah, and I lied, it wasn't an airplane stewardess, it was a lady that worked for the maintenance department with cerebral palsy. But I'm just trying to make myself sound but what if as wearing overalls? Oh, what the scripture? 1 Thessalonians 5 22. Abstain from all appearance of evil. Very easy to understand. That's a good memory verse for today. If you will do that, you don't actually end up in any evil situations because you're not like, no, my friend's having a bachelor's party and they're going to the strip club. I'm gonna sit with my back to the stage. I'm only ordering coke. Yep. You start down this road and you can justify a lot of things. I could have, you know, I could have justified eating with that lady. I'm not, I'm not doing anything. I haven't laid a hand on her, I'm just having dinner with somebody. But deep down, you know it's not a good decision. If you'll go the extra mile, and again, everybody labels this as um uh legalism and all that. Let me tell you something. You'll do a lot better in life being very guarded about your conduct and your conversation than you will using grace as an excuse, as a moral free-for-all that has taken down a hundred plus people in the last 18 months. So, so it's very important. Next. I asked the question about confiding in a oh, you're back. I asked the question about confiding in a male mentor, not married on 19. Yeah, I would be even more careful then. Um but again, I would rat so so no, you need to find a female mentor. Yes, in a perfect world, we want to be bombing Iran. Maybe she's in a play in a place where all the women are nuts or there's no women leaders. It would be better to confide in a male mentor who's sane than for the sake of having a same-sex um mentorship, talk to a some nut job, you know. I'd I go to heaven nine times a day, profitess type type of person. So it's not, yeah, there's nothing wrong with having a male mentor, but just make sure you're not going down, it's not crossing a line. Everything should be professional.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Yeah, like if they're asking you to give them like back rubs. Yeah, it's not good. Rub their feet.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Having said that, I don't I need a good back rub. Let me ask you this about the male mentorship thing. Because I'm thinking, as I'm thinking about this, I may undo my whole answer. I don't mentor anybody from the opposite sex. Now Adolis does. So, like, what do here's what I wonder sometimes when someone's like, I really like to just get alone with you and ask you some questions. What have I not given you in my two and a half hour message? And then I'm on YouTube every day. What I say to one, I say to all, Jesus said. So, like, why what why do you need further things than what you're getting in the service? If you watch the male mentor, he's mentoring without taking you to Denny's, I'm showing you how to treat your child by how you see my interactions with Camila. I'm showing you how to be a husband by watching my interactions with Adala. So I'm starting to wonder like, what further things do you need that require like a weekly meeting or a monthly meeting?

SPEAKER_00 35:01

Am I wrong there? No, I mean, I don't think so. And the the vast majority of the time that the scriptures record that Jesus withdrew uh to be alone, it was to be alone with the Father. Everything, just about everything else that Jesus does is in the context of the group, um, whether it's the three, the twelve, or the masses. And so, you know, sometimes there is this, and I think it has less to do with like a need to be developed, and it more has to do with people wanting to just, you know, be able to speak to like they have a level of relationship with with you that others don't. But you know, there's not, there's, there's not like the Gnostic secrets I share when I'm one-on-one. Hey, now let me give you the real strategy on how you can live in victory and how you can be an overcomer in leadership and ministry success. You know, I don't give this out from the platform. This is one-on-one. No, it it's it's what I what I say publicly uh uh, you know, about ministry and life and the Bible and marriage is what I would say privately, you know, in a one-on-one type setting. And so I uh don't do uh outside of coaching sessions or things like that that I would have with my staff if I'm if I'm sharing things with them, I don't essentially do anything uh with with people one-on-one in in some sort of mentoring type relationship because there's not uh there's not there's not this list of topics that I won't talk about publicly. I'm gonna talk about marriage publicly, uh, you know, sin, uh uh success, prosperity, sex, like anything that you know people might say, oh, that's off topics. I don't consider it off topic. I talk about it publicly. So there's not, you're not gonna get the uh the unabridged, you know, version if we have time for one-on-one and you know these types of things.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

You're agreeing there's there's really not a need for one-on-one mentorship.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

And and when you're talking about, okay, you're 19, you have a mentor, they're training, developing you, you know, uh things of that nature. Uh it's you know, it's like, okay, uh, I get it. I'm not somebody who's even really super strict on like, for example, people say the Billy Graham rule or whatever. Okay, well, you know, I I say this: if people want to sin, they're gonna find a way to sin. That's right, whether they keep the Billy Graham rule or not. Correct. You know, you there's no amount of like covenant eyes and accountability and what's your board structure, because we just really want to make sure this is safe. People with the best church government structures sin, and people with no government structures sin.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Were you with me in South Carolina when that guy asked that? Like privately? I can't remember if you got that yet. He's like, what accountability, what do you do about accountability? And I said the exact same thing you did. I said, I said, uh, I'm, you know, I I just don't, I live right. Even bringing Abraham on the road with me, he could drive me off with the oath. If you want to sin, you're gonna sin. Right. So the accountability is more like bringing Abraham with me is because I'm not sinning and I can prove it.

SPEAKER_00 37:47

Right. Yeah, and I try to put myself, okay, try to reverse the situation. If if you're the pastor and there's some 19-year-old gal, and it's like, hey, you're mentoring me, or you know, whatever, I just really like to spend one-on-one time with you. It's like, um, you know, if it that's something where we're having a family dinner and you're friends with my wife, and you know, you want to come over or something like that, you know, and that that's set up through my wife and if things of that nature. You know, there's always every situation you know is unique. But just in general, you know, if I'm rolling up on some dude and he's hanging out with some, you know, uh college girl one-on-one, and and uh she's good looking and things like that, you know, even if nothing is going to be technically wrong. Yeah, it just looks like you're like either like banging them or like getting like ready to bang them, and that's like not helpful.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

I agree. There's an evangelist I don't have anything to do with anymore. Um, because that's what he does. His wife stays home with the kids, he goes on missions trips, and the whole missions team is like 20, you know, young 20s, you uh church attractive, you know, like a church seven, right real life four women. And and and you look shady. It would look shady, even if I wasn't doing anything. If I didn't have Abraham with me and I just had like like these girls all feel the call in the ministry of Bible school, and we I've decided to take them on the road with me. You look like like, yeah, I don't, I'm not buying it. My my uh one of my uncles, uh Terry, he used to say that in church people put blinders on like a horse. It's like someone that everyone can tell is gay. They're like, nah, he's I don't think so. He's he's got a good heart. I think he's just I think he's just gentle or whatever. And it's like, no, he's gay. And then I've never lost that part of me. It's like it, if you seem nuts, I don't care what what you have or how many church people like you, you're crazy. If you are hanging around with a bunch of chicks, I don't care that you have like an evangelistic ministry or anything. I think you're a problem. So don't give people a pass for wrong for behavior that hits you wrong just because they're in the ministry. Or again, don't let your head override your spirit. If something hits you wrong, it's wrong. And that's another thing. Even if someone's not doing anything wrong, that makes me doubly question then why are you behaving in a way and have an entourage with you that would lead people to uh suspect that you're troubled? Think of this. You remember before, and I'm I'm all for Carl Lenz and his recovery, but I'm not making a point about that. What I'm making a point about is how did no one know Carl Lenz was a problem, but Joe Rogan immediately knew. They showed a picture of him with Justin Bieber. He was shirtless, greased up like a WWF wrestler, with shorts as low as they could go without showing your your uh private parts. And Joe Rogan went, look at that guy. He's definitely, I won't use the terms he used, chicks uh at church. Anybody could just look at it like that that guy is an adulterer. But then overseers and church people like, no, I don't think so. You know, so you church people are are generally very dumb people. Not the greatest thing to say to a broadcast full of church people, but I stand by my statement. They're they just they're very naive. They're easy to sucker in um Ponzi schemes, guys have guys have run investment things. You know why? Mike Murdoch said the worst thing we were taught in church was to expect, believe the best about everybody. And I I would not believe the best about everybody. I would watch forensic files for a few nights and realize there are some lunatic people all through the population. And um if you do that, if you do that, you won't you won't get burned. And then as a leader, like now that you said you're 19 and single as a woman, it kind of changes my answer because I'm trying to think of a way a male pastor would mentor a 19-year-old single girl. And I'm not coming up with one. You know, I can't come up with any scenario if a 19-year-old girl with heroin needles hanging out of her arms came up to me and was like, I need help. I'd be like, there um here, this is a place called Teen Challenge. Call them and they're gonna help you. I will I'm not doing it because it's there's no situation where it doesn't look shady. Um, Pastor Russell says something about being fat and ugly. Uh and old. I would throw old into that. Like, I've had scenarios where, like uh at one of our churches, like an 83-year-old woman that's a former missionary with a skirt down to her ankles and you know, old. It's not like she's 83. Like, you're 83, I thought you were like 48. It's like, oh, you're 83, I thought you were 90.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Like land before time, old.

SPEAKER_01 42:38

Like guarding the the um chalice in Indiana Jones.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

She would like to meet with you. Okay, no problem. Because if anybody thinks, you know, if you if you're not gonna give me the benefit of the doubt on that one, I don't know what you want. That doesn't look shady. And she's literally coming back to, you know, I really enjoyed today. That was, you know, I'm so glad you're flowing like that. That's how we flowed in the early days of Pentecost. Great. That's that's that's a clean relationship. But I don't know, man. Even when I was single, ask Adulus. I was like very harsh with Adulus when we first met at her church because I'm not, you know, you're 19 and attractive, and I'm single as an evangelist. I'm not hanging around. Even you look shady hanging around the altar, like entertaining a four giggling 19-year-olds that just think you're so funny, and you're man, you're really anointed. I got and you're like eating it up. You look, you look shady. People don't behave like that, that are like actual men of God.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

You're like signing their Bibles, but putting your phone number in there when you sign it.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Sign it with a heart.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

I'll love you forever.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Why is the scripture you read in my Bible from Song of Solomon? You'll get it later.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

You'll get it.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Good. I think we yeah, I I asked the question about confiding in me. I'm not. Married. I'm 19. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

I have questions about you.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

Do you have a dad? Yeah. Do you have a dad? A, if you do, ask him. B, if you don't, don't try to make the pastor your dad. What do you need mentored about? Get a job, spend less money than you make, pay your taxes, get a place to live.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

Go to Bible college.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

Eat food that is good for you. Exercise. There. I've mentored you. Do those six things. I gave you five and best dress will give you one, I think. And you're good. It's not life's not that complicated. We're not trying to, we're not in the matrix trying to figure out whether we're in a dream or not. Right. Just make some money and eat. And don't be sad. There. Now you're mentored, and you can leave that other guy alone. Next. My fiance and I are looking to increase faster. I'm going to law school. Working advice. I wouldn't do things out of a desire to increase, if that makes sense. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Yeah, I guess I'm not sure what the um fiance is all wrong. But I'm I'm not I'm not sure what do you mean by increase f increase what faster? Like m- are you talking like money? You're increasing like my looking to increase fat.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yeah, when are you getting married?

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Increase fast.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Why are you looking to increase together in a fiance state?

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Increase questions.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

I do things that are in the Bible that guarantee increase, but I've literally never done anything looking to increase it. I don't do you know what I mean by that? I facilitate what God's doing. I expect things to grow. I accommodate the growth. But I would not like try to become a lawyer so I can increase. You know, that's that I guess that's my problem with this question. I'm looking to increase, I'm going to law school. That should not be your motivation to go to law school. You should go to law school, you should do what you do in life because you feel called by God to do it, including law school. Like if the question read, I feel called to go to law school, then I I guess I won't have a problem with it. But things that are done looking to financially increase, it's better than not having any planned at all, but it's still not like the Christian life. Does that make sense? Right. Yeah. What would you add to it?

SPEAKER_00 46:28

Uh yeah, it's like the motive, the motivation for um the the motivation for what for what you do, that that counts. That that that matters. I I'm the same as you. I I don't know if I've ever done anything in life trying to trying to increase faster, but you you follow the biblical principles, and then the Lord, you know, the scripture says, humble yourself under the mighty hand of the Lord, he'll promote in due time. So that there's a timeline that's attached to promotion, a timeline that's attached to increase. And when the Lord says it's time, it's time. And so you you follow the biblical principles, uh and uh, and you know, God opens doors that no man can shut and lead you in the way that you should go, that you'll never depart from it. And so if you if if you follow the the the the formula that God outlines in scripture, his promotion, which is permanent, will come upon your life. But it it's uh yeah, I guess I'm the same way. I've never tried to like it, like how do I hit fast forward on the the the increase? I think when when uh uh you you follow the steps that God outlines, God provides the wind, your sails are raised, it drives you in the direction you should go, and then you know, I just like I didn't plant this latest campus going, we need to increase faster. It was just like we we need another campus, and Spokane feels right, let's do it, the Lord will help us.

SPEAKER_01 47:52

It's yes, you know. That's how I feel. I would reevaluate. I would also ask you why you're not married to this person. I don't believe in long engagements. Long and long engagements are a new invention because people are, as Pastor Russell says, banging. But in the old days, when people lived like clean until they got married, they weren't engaged for two and three years and go to law school and engaged. Like, I got engaged in April and was married in September. You know? I would I have questions. I have questions about your question. Next. Who wins first? Penguins or mariners? Like a Stanley Cup or a World Series?

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Penguins.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

I would say they have about an equal chance. The Mariners have a great team. Mariners almost won the World Series last year. You know, if I had to pick, I'd go Mariners, probably. I I I think Vegas would agree with me. Next. Also, for a healthy marriage, what is your advice on arguments? I'd have less of them. I had a lot more early in our marriage. And when I say early, I don't mean like the first year, I mean like the first 10 years. And then you just realize like there's really then you're gonna have an awkward 36 hours to 72 hours. I think one of the things you have to get used to when you get married is like I was used to just yelling at people and walking away. Like we were at a restaurant a couple nights ago and they don't close till 11, and they said they shut the kitchen down and want to serve us. And I said, you suck, and then left. But if you say you suck to your wife, there's nowhere to go because you live in the same house. So it gets it's like that guy. Felt good telling him that and walking away. If I had to like say you suck, then sit down with them for a couple hours later, it'd be like Yeah, and then like raise a child together. Yeah, like yelling at somebody in traffic, it feels good, and then you the light turns green and you drive off. But like if you had to like stay seated there looking at each other, eventually for telling you that you're you suck, and I wish you crashed into a telephone poll. I shouldn't have said that. So I feel like why not just skip to the end step, which is you're gonna end up apologizing. So, like, I won't argue, or I at least won't yell. And I um I don't argue that much. I think we've gotten in one argument this year, we got in one all of last year, and it was a major one. We knocked our hats off of each other's heads. It looked like a uh a head coach and an umpire like going at it, and we were barely making any noise. We're upstairs because if Camila hears us arguing, she starts crying. That was like May of last year. I got in one a couple weeks ago at a very low tone. That one was not intense, but uh we used to get in like several a week, and then um I'm kind of just riffing here. I think it's good to give each other some space. Like our marriage is stronger with with some breathing room and back together. I think any two people, like in the old days, probably one of the reasons we argued so much wasn't because we were less mature, is because we were in a car together for 12 hours, then a small hotel room. And you know, any two people getting together for a long time, there's gonna be stabbings and stuff. That's just how it goes. So I I think it's like when wives like, my husband goes out and play golf. Like, I don't think some time apart is not is not the worst thing, and then come back together and and enjoy each other. And I know that used to tick a dolls off because we wouldn't in Bangor, we were in this little apartment, and she'd get mad and like want some space, but I wanted things resolved like right now, and then she'd like nowhere to go. She'd like freak out. So, what was the question? For healthy marriage, what's your advice on arguments? I wouldn't I wouldn't have them. I would have like discussions, I'd make your case. I think a passive aggressive type person is worse than an argumentative person. So some people are like, we don't argue. Yeah, but you like just make annoying facial expressions and and then your husband says, like, what? Nothing. And then you're quiet. That's that to me, that would be more irritating. There's nothing wrong with hashing things out, but you have to be able to do it without losing your temper or crossing the line. Like, if where should we go to dinner turns into you've never valued me, then you, you know, like don't say nuclear bomb type things that you you know you're gonna have to apologize for later.

SPEAKER_00 52:10

I wish you were more like my ex-girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Yeah. That's not a good one to say, if you were wondering.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

All the women in your family are losers and you're just like them. That's a tough one to come back from.

SPEAKER_00 52:26

Um yeah, like you can lose weight, but your heart is still black and dark and ugly. You know, like that. So there's a couple things you don't want to say. I I think anything that's It's sad that the Azempic doesn't also cure you being a moron.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

That's that's one you're gonna have to apologize for.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

If I could choke you to death and not go to hell, I would.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

Yeah, I understand why Ray Lewis punched his girlfriend in the elevator now. That's that that's one that'll usually make him cry. Yeah, that's not, it's not I'd avoid the B word and C word at all costs. Those are like the those blow it up.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

A, D, yeah, all actually all the letters. Yeah. I think there's it there's kind of like a natural bell curve in in marriage, the first um you know, few months or a few years where the conflict is going to increase, especially if you don't um if you don't live together before. Uh like, hey, you're following the Lord, you're you're you're a believer, you're uh you're staying separate, and then all of a sudden you get married. You know, you're doing something you've never done before. That was actually the best advice my dad ever gave me. Was what? When uh I was engaged to my wife, and uh he was like, Um uh I said, how how can I know that I'm 100% ready for marriage? He said, You'll never know. You've never been married before. You know, so it wasn't like super profound, but like the more I thought about it, the more profound it was, which was like, hey, you're trying to cross all the T's and dot all the I's, and that's not how life works, that's not how faith works. You know, how can I be completely ready to plant a church? You've never planted a church before. You know, you've never you've never been married before. You you can do everything in your power with God's help to get ready, but at the end of the day, there are some things that you're gonna learn, you know, uh, by virtue of on-the-job training. And so I I think um, you know, for uh, you know, Maria and I, it was that same thing. We we we had a lot more arguments, fought a lot more, you know, earlier on, you know, in our marriage, because you're learning how to take two independent lives and now live under the same roof. Which is a big deal. Which is a big yeah, it's a big adjustment. And uh, you know, like you're saying, I think that there is um anything that is in motion um creates friction. Friction, by by its very nature, creates heat. There, there, the, the, um, when people try to virtue signal like we have a perfect marriage and we never argue or we never have any conflict, that's actually not the sign of a healthy marriage. That's the sign of a dead marriage. Anything that's in motion creates heat. You know, so I'm not saying you're fighting every day or fighting every week or whatever, but it's like, yeah, that there, there, you know, there is going to be tension from time to time. There is going to be conflict from time to time. It's, you know, it's not how do we avoid conflict in this marriage, it's how do we have a healthy on-rap off-ramp so that we don't beat each other to death or end up saying things that we don't mean, or we're mad at each other for weeks at a time and we're not talking. And so it's not, you know, how do I avoid conflict, but but instead, how do I have a off-ramp on this freeway so that we don't live in this perpetual state of, you know, you know, conflict. So I think about like guardrails with the the the arguments, you know, things that we're gonna say versus things that we're not gonna say. And then like, okay, if we're going around this merry-go-round a thousand times, great. At some point, though, the merry-go-round has to stop spinning. So we have to have an off-ramp, you know, for a decision or for a compromise or for a, you know, whatever that may be. So I try to tell people it's not about avoiding ever having conflict, but having it, having a healthy version of it. Because, you know, sometimes it's like you need a little bit of tension, a little bit of conflict, a little bit of, you know, just to remind you that you're alive.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

Yeah, I uh there's something I was I was gonna add to it. I would never correct my spouse. Though that never turns out well. I would, especially in a Christian marriage, let the Holy Spirit change somebody. And the Holy Spirit will convict people if they're if they're doing something wrong, or you know, the not your kids, correct and raise your kids, but like you never you never uh respond to me when I talk. Don't do that. Just like let the Lord deal with them, and you'll find a lot of times the thing you were gonna tell them, they'll come in five days, be like, hey, I'm sorry I've been doing this. Because God will deal with them. Have family uh, have devotions together, read the Bible and pray together. That helps a lot. They say that divorce rates are less than one in a thousand of couples that read the Bible and pray together, even though everybody says that one statistic about that divorce rates is high in the churches in the world. That's because a lot of people go to church that have zero spiritual life. But if you read the Bible and pray together and stay full of the Holy Ghost, God will sort people out and you don't have to. And I think that'll solve a lot of problems.

SPEAKER_00 57:16

And I try to tell people too, don't correct your, you know, spouse in front or having conflict or whatever. You know, don't do that in front of people. Oh, for sure. You know, is if somebody's arguing or you know, whatever, and I actually this happens a lot, a ton. So I don't understand why people, you know, don't get this. But it's like, you know, if Maria has a problem with me or something, she doesn't appreciate something I said or or whatever, you know, it's like, yeah, she's gonna talk about that to me when I'm when we're home, when it's one-on-one, you know, whatever. Same thing with her. I'm not gonna say something that is, you know, critical or or corrective in nature in front of other people. You know, where our our marriage is not adjudicated by virtue of the the the pub, you know, the court of public opinion. Well, you know, you're always like this, and you know, even your friends here can tell it's like don't do that. Don't, you know, people watch too much like reality TV. They watch too much and they all get divorced. HGTV, MTV, whatever, and it everything is filmed, and it's like conflict is always happening in public places. You know, conflict with people you know and like are in covenant with should not happen in public places. No, that that should be private sidebar type conversations, you know, especially with your spouse, because that's when that is when it truly goes nuclear, is when they feel like you embarrass them in front of people, you know.

SPEAKER_01 58:41

Oh yeah, don't do that. And I would say, like, what I was adding was like, so like I would be careful not to do that. But then I started, why correct them at all? Like what, you know, you're not their mom or their dad, you're not raising them. I'll tell you one thing that has saved me wanting to argue a lot. I would get three things in my head that my spouse did that were amazing. And every time I'm upset about something, I'll think about something Adoles did that was like over the top. Um, like I'll give you one. One time when she was eight and a half months pregnant, I told her I would take Camila to school. And I played video games until 5:45 in the morning and was exhausted. And when my alarm went off, I like couldn't get up and she did not mean or anything. She's like, I got her. I know you played video games until late at night and was like cool about it. So every time there's something that like bothers me, I'll think back at that, how she like bailed me out when I was exhausted, and she was the one who had the right to be exhausted. And um, then you're like, okay, we're even. I'm not I'm not gonna bring it up. I think if you just focus like the Bible tells you to, focus on good. Instead of thinking about it, she always does this. Think what you know, it's like the wives when you're a pastor. My husband golfs every Saturday and doesn't spend any time with me on Saturday. Okay, but you're leaving out the part that he makes $300,000 a year, and you live like a Kardashian and you don't have to work. So maybe let him play 18 holes of golf with his friends. So if you're gonna focus on the couple of things that are off when there's 91 good things, and you focus on the bad things, you're like Eve. You focus on the tree you can't eat rather than the whole garden that's yours. Focus on, keep it in your mind, like all the awesome things your wife's done. And how, you know, I think about that. Like right now, I I wanted Ados to come to spoke with me, because uh Russell Maria are here and we're friends, and she's like, Jonathan, you can live like you live, but if I live like you live, this ministry will fall apart. In other words, and she's telling the truth. I work from 8 a.m. till 9 p.m., 10 p.m., doing church stuff, being with people. I'm I'm what makes this church work behind the scenes. And she she didn't say that. I'm saying that. So I do think of that. Like, okay, so you, I'll give you one. One of the days I was leaving on Monday, she said I'll be home at 4, so that we'd get to see each other for an hour and a half before I left for the airport. She ended up coming home at 5:20 as I was pulling out of the driveway. So it's like, you missed the day I flew home to so we could see each other, you missed it. That would give me a right to flip out and be mad. I would say that maturity is when you think in your head, like anybody would back me in this situation that I have a right to flip out on you. Don't do it anyway. What's the point? So she comes in and uh I was like, what happened to four o'clock? She's like, oh man, I'm I'm sorry. Uh and I'm like, well, yeah, well, you're sorry. You know, I flew home so that we could have a day together, and I never got to see it all. And then after I said that, I just started thinking, like, you do a zillion awesome things. So, so what you forgot, and I missed today. It's one day. Don't microscope a tiny thing and uh blow up about it. Keep your mind focused on all the good things your spouse did and why you married him. You married him. It's not a we're not in India. It wasn't an arranged marriage. Right. We're not in the Middle East, you weren't married at sword point. You picked them. So, as mad as you want to be, get mad at yourself. It was your choice. And obviously, there was a thing you really liked about him. I don't believe these people that are like, my husband is, he's just he all of a sudden he's turned out. No, I don't believe you. I believe, and there's a lot of women like this. That's not a good way to start a sentence. Usually the next thing comes out, we'll end your ministry. But I'm gonna stick with what I said. I notice when women are single, past the age that they wanted to be married, they start going off the rails. Uh like would marry literally anybody, even if they're not a Christian. You know, and then they get married like they wanted to, because they wanted to have a family. Let me let me say this while I'm like spitting out ministry enders. Okay, I was watching Forensic Files. This lady's husband got murdered, and she said I got remarried like a year later, which made him think she was a suspect, but she she didn't end up being the one that did it. She's like, I got married again because I had always wanted to have a family. So the way she talked is basically like, I didn't, you know, my husband was a means to have children and a family.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:18

And I want to get married for that reason. That I always dreamed I would be married. That's kind of like a dumb way to go about life, because then you're just gonna choose somebody that makes that thing come to pass rather than marrying the person who's God's will for your life. I mean, my grandfather got married in Bible college, my dad got married for my mom in Bible college, and all of his brothers. So if I was like, well, I know I wanted to meet my wife in Bible college. It's second semester, fourth year. Who's the new incoming class? All right, I'll take her, I guess. I'd I'd probably be divorced by now. Married the wrong person just because I felt I needed to get married. Stay in the will of God. And then after you choose somebody that's in the will of God, um, and if you chose someone out of the will of God, it's a marriage. You have to make it work. Quit complaining. You chose that. Don't pick some guy that come on, you knew the whole time he was half backslidden. He was only coming to church because you made that a requirement, and he knew you wanted him to, and he he wanted to sleep with you. So he did. And then you get married, and there's nothing there, and no, you know, he just was really disappointing. And I wish he would be the man of God that God has called a husband to be. Bull crap, you chose a guy because you're 30s, four, and you want to have kids, and you're scared. You know, menopause isn't like 48. You don't have to freaking panic at 32 and hit the panic button to just take the closest guy that has like a criminal record.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:47

Yeah, and they, and and what what happens is uh we we were talking about this a little bit yesterday. You know, my wife is an immigrant from the nation of um Serbia. So her family moved here when she was 10. And one of the reasons why, you know, it uh I was really attracted to her and knew that this was the person I was supposed to marry is because even though she's an immigrant to this country, she actually has more of those old school American values that um uh that that people used to have or used to you know really be prominent when people were looking for mates. You know, she uh uh uh wants to take care of the house, wants to take care of the kids, uh knows knows how to cook, uh uh is is domestic, wants to be a wife, wants to be a mom, wants to be uh a hard worker, wants to contribute, you know, uh these types of things. Um I think we actually talked about it on the show check the news. This is a couple months ago, but where they did um some statistical analysis between men and women, you know, who are like between 18 and 25 today, highest percentage value for men in that age range is to you know find a quality spouse and have kids. The high, it's the lowest thing that is of value percentage-wise for females in that age range, like 18 to 25. It's like the disparity, you know, that things have flipped. As young men have gotten more conservative and young women have gotten more progressive, it's like the values for the family, the wife, the domestic life, you know, kind of that Americana, you know, type uh Norman Rockwell family style system that has gone up for men, but it's plummeted for women. And so what happens is this what I've noticed with gals, even uh sometimes in our church, is like, you know, that 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, I'm in college, I'm liberal, I'm progressive, I'm kind of half feminist, I don't need no man, I'm living my best life. It's just me and the gals, blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah, that's awesome until you run into 30 and then 35 and then 40, and then you recognize, like, oh, yeah, um, maybe that wasn't the best, you know, ticket to buy in that season of my life. You know, when I when I met my wife, it was like she was already helping take care of um, you know, her brothers and sisters, her family, but she had, she didn't have to learn those values. She had those values. And that was at 18, 19 years old. And so, you know, we got married, we got engaged when she was a senior in high school. We got married the summer she graduated because she she she already knew what it was like to, you know, be responsible, be mature, be a mom, be a wife, you know, those types of things. And so sometimes people bet on the wrong horse. And they they develop these values or these cultures that are emblematic of the spirit of the age. This hyper, you know, uh uh you know, kind of misindependent feminist type thing. And and it's like, I I wouldn't, I actually want to do that. I would learn how how how to make a meal that that doesn't require a microwave. You know, I I would learn how to there are some just basic things that I think, you know, and same for dudes, like uh, you know, yes, get a job, you know, uh hardworking, industrious, you know, blah, blah, blah. But um, I don't know how we got off on that on that track, but but I see some of that today where people want to live any way that they want between 18 and and 20, 22, 23, 24. And then flip a switch and then go, where's all the good men? Where's all where's all the good men? I just uh yeah, or you know, man, uh uh every time I do a QA, it's like, can we do a singles event at church? I just where are all the good men? And it's like, well, you you turned down all the good men when you were 20, 21, 22, 23. They they were all there. And so they moved on and found other people to marry. So the the good men are in your review mirror. I'm not saying you can't find one now, but like, don't act like you're the exception to the rule, and there's no men left on the planet who are good. You wanted to be dumb and to operate dumb in a season where you had a lot of options, and now you're in a season where you don't have a lot of options, so you might need to buy a cat.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:47

Mr. Russ just twisting the knife at anyone that's in their 30s and single. Um what was I I was gonna say something else about marriage. Uh what's your advice on arguments? I would also say this from a guy's perspective, I would say one of the reasons guys have bad marriages is your mom stayed home all day and your dad worked, and then your dad came home and dinner was ready and the laundry was done. But you have your wife work all day and you work all day, and then when you come home, you expect to behave like your dad and want your wife to behave like your mom did. The problem was she wasn't home all day, and she's just as tired as you, if not more tired, because she took the kids to school on top of like a bunch of stuff you didn't do. So you're gonna have to flip that in your head unless, now, if you work where you're making 200,000 a year and your wife can stay home all day, then that's different. But if you if your wife is working all day, don't expect her to come home. Now you can, but that's where problems come in. And like, where's dinner? And then have her clean the dinner up and then have her do laundry. So she's basically working from 6 a.m. when she gets the kids ready to school until 11. Then you want her to throw on lingerie. It doesn't work because you're you're wearing her out working. So you have to um have different expectations of your wife if she's working a full day. My wife, you know, she never has dinner ready. Yeah, she's working till the same amount of time you are, right plus picking the kids up from school. So if you want your wife to be like that, then you got to make more money so she can be like that. But don't have her work all day and and and treat it like it's 6 p.m. She's done nothing.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:33

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:34

Next. How to know if to leave or stay in a bad marriage as a young wife. I need specifics on what bad is. If you got an eye that's swollen shut, leave. If it's domestic violence, um bad, there's a big spectrum of bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:58

Right. And actually, that is very insightful. Uh, I think that you said that. And here's why. Literally, no one's ever said that to me in my life. Because um the way that people I always have to ask follow-up questions too. When when people ask me stuff like this, they'll say, I'm in an abusive marriage, what should I do? And I'll go, well, help me understand what abusive means. Right. You know, because some people might say, Well, dinner's not ready at 6 p.m. and and that's abusive because that's the way I grew up.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:24

Or it's like emotional abuse. He makes he makes me feel like a you know right.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:28

We had a c we had a conflict, and and yeah, you know, he called me fat and now I feel you know, I feel bad, and that's like emotionally. Every when everything is abuse, nothing is abuse. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:37

And I'm not there's a different and we're not uh we're not uh downplaying those things, but there is a big difference between that and him giving you the m Randy Macha Man Savage suplex through the coffee table.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:47

Right. And so like it's it's it actually when you actually properly define um uh uh uh abuse, it actually um it it it it it it it creates more you know specificity around stuff that is you know uh at least actually traditionally abusive versus we got in an argument and we don't know how to have an off-ramp for our conflict. And so then we both get upset and then we say things that we don't mean. And I'm not saying that that's not a problem either, but when everything is abuse, nothing is abuse. So I think we we gotta be careful with everybody begins to renegotiate their life through the lens of victimhood because it's never been more valuable.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

Verbal abuse, right. Which I mean, anybody's verbally abused their spouse. I don't think there's anyone that married that hasn't verbally abused the spouse.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:36

I I was verbally abused by Stuttlesworth on the way here to film the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:41

It's that's you know, we verbal abuse is my love language.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:45

It's his love language. It's the sixth out of the five. It's the one that didn't get mentioned. But it's yeah, and yeah, you get beat up, you know, uh physically in front of the kids. Yeah, that's the situation. Call the cops, look it out, um, you know, or buy a gun and shoot them, you know, or or whatever. I would go with call the cops. This is legal advice. But yeah, but you know, when it's like, well, she doesn't, you know, I I wanted to have sex with her that night, and she said she was too tired and my needs are really being starved, and you know, my counselor said this is abusive. It's like, dude, shut up. That's don't, don't, you know, don't so broaden that word that you cheapen the experience of people who have actually suffered real abuse. And so, bad, what what what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:30

Uh, you know, you can't answer that question without a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:33

Like, my wife was cooking me pizza rolls the other day and she left them in the oven too long and burned them. And it's like, I'm like, ri really? You know, after all these years, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:45

Served it with papers.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:46

And and and so it's like, yeah, that was a bad night, but it's not a it's not abusive.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:51

No, I need to know what bad marriage is. You know, an affair you can leave. Uh abandonment and neglect is a biblical reason for, which means if the guy's not working and like is not providing for the family, you have a bit you have biblical grounds to leave. But bad is an unhappy, not everything I thought it would be. That's the you know, you gotta work through that. Again, you chose the guy, and I don't believe that um the guy just changed. I think a lot of times somebody just wanted to get married, and then they deal with the fallout after when that guy, that's who he was the whole time. You know? Right, my husband just has no desire for God. It's like, yeah, I knew him before when you were dating. He also had no desire for God. Right. And and we tried to tell him. Right. Next. No. Next. Been paying off a heavy debt and I've missed tithing in four months. Should I just repent and start over? Yeah, that's what I said. That's what God said to do in Malachi 3. You've robbed me the tithe and offering, now return. Next. You mentioned your finances from several years ago and how you preach hard about money but hadn't seen it come into your life yet. Do you feel like something changed that got you out of that? Was there something that changed, or does it just take endurance to see? Yeah, you seed time and harvest. So you plant seeds and then the harvest comes in. It's not about preaching on it. And if you're preaching on it trying to get it for yourself, that'll make it worse. You don't get it by preaching on it. Some some quote prosperity preachers are some of the poorest ministers you'll ever meet. They have nothing. The finances are a function of seed time and harvest and diligent work. And so, you know, Peter sowed his boat for Jesus to use as a platform to preach, got it back with a prophetic word, launched it onto the deep, caught fish. So God anoints the work of your hands. So I again, I'd like to know what you're doing for work. Prosperity is not understanding Deuteronomy 28, 1 to 14 and sitting home and believing that people are gonna send checks in the mail. Next. How to make traveling and preaching enjoyable as a young evangelist. Uh, I like this one. I might close on this one. What what you go first?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:04

Um, at least for me, uh, in some of the early days of my traveling, it it wasn't um, I mean, it wasn't totally enjoyable because we were so broke, you know, like sleeping out of your car, preaching at the uh Native American youth camp, you know, eating bologna sandwiches for lunch and then walking away with enough gas money to get you home. But in the midst of it, you know, we were able to have fun. For me, the way that I made it enjoyable early on was like, because that's what I did. You know, my grandfather was um a home missionary with the AG to the Native American tribes. My my first invitations to preach were all on the Indian race. And so, you know, it's not like you're getting any honorariums at all, or here's a gas card and it's gonna get you home. So, what I did to make it enjoyable is I I rolled with my friends or my buddies who were equally broke. So it didn't matter if they came with me for three or four days uh because it's not like they were missing out on three or four days of like a high income type job back home. It was like, yeah, I'm down to roll. You think they'll like give us free lunch, whatever. So, you know, we made it fun by like turning it into like group uh therapy or group activity or just group, you know, we're just we're we're having fun, we're roasting each other, we're messing around, we're we're we're we're we're we're having a good time, we're road tripping together, get into the uh conference evenings or the youth camp evenings, preach there, lay hands on kids, you know, see the power of God at work, and then uh, you know, so and then and then you know, rinse, repeat for for that entire week. So that's how we made it fun was who who we were rolling with. And now that that you're at a different level, you know, if I'm if I'm on the road, I'm bringing my kids with me or my wife with me, or or or like for example, this week, my wife and three kids are here for the week of revival meetings. So we rented an Airbnb that has a pool uh because so the kids can swim during the day and have fun. You know, I can do those things now, stuff that you couldn't do when you were 17, 18, just getting on the road, starting to preach at, you know, the churches my grandfather planted 60 years ago. So you work with what you have. You know, some people they can see where they're going. And so it's like, well, it's gonna be really fun, you know, one day when I get there, because I'll be able to stay at the four seasons when I'm on the road and you know, take my family with me. Yeah, maybe. Um, but but you you've got to determine how you can make where you're at fun right now, else you won't ever survive to that next season. And so we had fun even when the checks weren't clearing uh from the ministries we were speaking at, or it was like we'll pay you in gratitude, or you know, uh bologna sandwiches for lunch, or here's a gas card to make. Like we made it fun because we just rolled with dudes and uh, you know, turned it into like bro week. That that that's how we made it fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:42

I would say, and then uh as you get older, you didn't say in your question whether you are or not, but when you're married, make the road fun for your wife. Women generally are not built for the road.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:53

I'm not saying all of them, but most traveling is a guy thing, nesting is a is a woman's but if they're built like a Mac truck, they built for the road.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:03

I would, I would like like when you're single and starting out, yeah, you like your buddy has you sleep on the floor at the parsonage and you're cool with it. Once you start taking your wife with you, she'll come with you for the first few years. But if you make it that kind of experience, then she's gonna find a way to not travel. And that's why most traveling ministers don't have their wives with them, because they made the road hell for them. I would go out of my way to make the road very fun for your wife. Where you stay. Um, believe it or not, like you wouldn't probably think this about me. I would like get flowers in a vase for a hotel room, wouldn't you, and just like zhuzh it up. And uh I would get a instead of driving 10 hours back home, I'd drive five hours to Atlantic City. I'd go on Priceline. You'd be amazed what kind of hotels you can get on Priceline and uh stay in Atlantic City and go to a find a good restaurant there. I'd make it fun, make it fun going up, make it fun coming back. And um, having fun is not a money thing. There's rich, miserable people, and there's poor people having a blast. There's a bunch of crackheads laughing their heads off last night across the street from our hotel. Um having fun is not a money thing. Having fun is like mentality. You know, you find find the best ice cream place in that city, find the best frozen custard place, find the best coffee. I think I have a chapter in my book. You should get that book, um 24 Ways to Immediately Improve Your Happiness, or whatever it is, my newest book. I think one of the chapters, I wish I had it with me, because I'd like to read what I wrote because I can't remember what I wrote, was uh do something that makes you happy every day. And I would do that. You know, my dad? Yeah, 24 24 changes to immediately improve your happiness. That's on Amazon. So it's not joy. I mean a joy is different than happiness. Yeah, but I mean people that have the joy of the Lord, they're the most miserable people you ever meet. So happiness is good too. Find things that make you happy. My dad, as straight laced as he is, you know what his pre-service routine was? He would put on a pair of waiters over top of his suit and go into a stream and fly fish from 5 till 6:45. Then take the waiters off, jump in the in his van and go drive to the church and preach, because that's what he enjoyed doing. You're gonna preach better happy than you are miserable. I wouldn't shut myself in a room for three hours and war in tongues. I mean, if you're praying preaching in like North Sudan, yeah, maybe. But I, you know, I'll even tell you, this might close some doors for me. Like, pray because your life depends on it. Pray like your life depends on it, because it does. I don't know. I don't like praying like that. I'm only praying like I'm in a uh uh Palestinian prison camp. I enjoy my time with God. I enjoy my time before church. And um, I take when I take my daughter with me, we have fun all day. It's like daddy's preaching tonight. If I if I acted like that, daddy's preaching tonight, I preach every night.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:56

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:57

She would never have no relationship with me. You think God's gonna punish me in the service because I spent time with my daughter? You know, Jonathan could have been praying in tongues, but he's making his daughter giggle. So no miracles tonight for you. That's not how it works. God likes that I'm having a good time with my daughter. Enjoy life. Jesus said to, I've come that you might have life and have it more abundantly. If you have a great day coming into the pulpit smiling, you're gonna lift people. There's some people that, you know, and people are full of crap. Like there's one evangelist, he's full of crap. I'd be happy to say his name. He's a terrible human being. I don't uh he said uh one of the last times I it was the last time I talked to him because I confronted him harshly. He's like, I I, you know, I he was he was behaving in a way that's not like moral. So I was like, why do you have this girl on the road with you that you're not married to? Because he had said to me, how come you don't go out to dinner with me or hang out with me anytime I'm around? I said, because the way you conduct yourself, I don't want to be seen with you. He's like, How do I conduct myself? I said, you take a girl on the road with you to travel that you're not married to and stay in the same hotel. And he's like, Yeah, but we don't do anything. He's like, I I pray literally all I fast and pray. This is what he said to me. I fast and pray every day that I preach. Um I'll pray shut up in my room from 10 a.m. until service time. I said, bull crap. He said, No, I do. I said, No, you don't. I said, How many days did you preach last year? He said, 250. I said, you fasted 250 days last year? I don't believe you. Well, uh, not every day. Oh, so we're backpedaling now. So, you know, people lie and they give this false impression, this like unattainable standard of like, I pray at least eight hours a day. I don't believe you. I don't believe you pray eight hours every day. So tell the truth. Don't don't say it. Just because you have prayed eight hours in a day, don't tell everybody you pray eight hours a day, because then young preachers are like living this miserable life that you actually don't live. And um, I don't know, I don't like lying. And I don't, I don't like as much as we have all night prayer at our church and half night prayer and 21 days of prayer and fasting. But there's seasons in the Bible of fasting and there's seasons of feasting. I read Nehemiah 8.10 last night. The joy of the Lord is your strength. The first part of the verse is eat the fat, drink the sweet. Um then he said to them, Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to them. And people that don't have the ability to do that, send them some food. For this day is holy unto our Lord. How are we gonna make it holy to the Lord? By not being sorry, for the joy of the Lord is our strength. There's times of celebration. You know, I can't remember when it was, whether it was in a live service or at the at the desk like this, when I talked about celebrating small victories. And like, you know, you you have a great youth camp that you're preaching, or you started out at a church and there's 13 and you broke 30 and and people got saved, and a lady got her back healed. Go out and have a dinner and celebrate. Don't make life can't be miserable, and I need to break through and we're 30, we need to hit 50. Celebrate small victories. Celebrate what's going on on the way. You know, um, when we do when we open the church April 5th for Easter, it's gonna be a great day. There's gonna be thousands of people there. It's a win. I'm taking the last time I was home, and this goes back to the marriage thing, I could tell I had been gone a little much. I just was sensitive to that. Not not more a dollas than Camila. Camila's having a good time at school with her friends and everything. But so I immediately scheduled, I said to Rachel, Am I off the week of Easter? Because I know I'm preaching Easter's not really like the I don't know, I thought I had that week off. And she's like, Yeah. I said, Okay, take all of my American Express points, and I booked a killer vacation. I'm leaving that Easter night, and I'm taking Adolescent Camila with me, which it turns out it was her spring break anyway. But even if it wasn't, I was gonna rip her out of school because you know, just just feel things out. If your wife feels looks sad, she's saying, What are you? What are you sad for? Like, pay attention to it. If your kid seems withdrawn, figure out what's going on. That's how you keep them off drugs. If you don't, if you just let things fester, the second something feels off, help them. Put your arm around them and talk to them. And then, you know, we're gonna go away and make up for all the all the days I've been gone. And then on vacation, I spend a ton of time with my family. I'm with them all day, every day, talking and take Camila early in the morning and walk while Adul is sleeping. We have a great time. So I I think if again, everything comes back to being led by the Spirit. If you'll just be sensitive to the Holy Ghost and act on what he tells you, you won't have trouble. He'll show you trouble ahead of time, he'll show you how to deal with trouble, and uh and everything will work out.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:03

Well, and not and not everything can be uh warfare mode all the time. And that that is, I think, the temptation for some of the folks in the charismatic uh movement, where everything is a is is about a principality and power that needs to be bound. It's about the the prince of Persia holding back my prayer. It's call the intercessors, it's time to do a Jericho march, everything is warfare. And I think if there's been a mistake that I have made in in earlier moments of my ministry, it's to process everything through the warfare lens. And so then you you internalize this like uh this like struggle type mentality You can't enjoy anywhere. And then that, yeah, and then it comes out as everything is warfare, everything is breakthrough, everything is a zero sum game. It's always all on the line. And it's it's not always all you know on the line. You see, um, even when Jesus um feeds the 5,000 by multiple. Multiplying the the five loaves and the two fish. You know, I mean that's like a major problem. We got, you know, thousands of people here. We don't have enough food to feed them. And, you know, Jesus like closes his eyes and says, Thank you. That that's the extent of the warfare prayer. And then he and then he breaks it and feeds everyone with 12 baskets left over. Like he like the warfare prayer is thank you. You know, he he he gives thanks for the break. And it's like He's in dominion. Right. And I just go, oh, okay, so there's there's you know, sometimes you can have a breakthrough prayer without having to call the intercessors and um uh having an an all-church fast. And you know, I'm not saying that there's not times for that, we do that too. But when everything is you learn to laugh, learn to have fun, learn to smile, learn, learn to have, you know, I I want my kids, you know, I could have um rented uh a house without a pool, and then we could have said, hey, at 10 a.m. Monday through Friday, we're you know, calling prayer meetings at the church, and because I'm the pastor and I'm leading this thing, all my kids need to be here. They don't they don't want to be there.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:04

And then your kids can't wait till revival's over.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:07

You know, I've told pastors before, like maybe during revival week, dial your office hours back, have them 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. You know, you go to some church, like we have prayer every morning at 5 a.m. Yeah, your staff looks like it. Right. Your staff looks like somebody shot them, and they have like an active bullet wound, and their blood pressure is like 30 over nine. Right. You know, like we are up every morning at 5 praying. They're they're like in the seats, barely alive. You have to be, um, if you're a preacher, you gotta be in your prime at 8:30 p.m. So you should you you should adjust your day accordingly. Instead of I'm up every morning before sunrise. Yeah, you preach like it.

unknown 1:29:48

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:49

You preach like you're on life support.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:51

So uh I'd have a good time. I'd make sure your wife's having fun. One thing I was gonna throw in about marriage. Okay, let's let's take all the like snide comments out of it about the lady that I'm in a bad marriage. Do you know what I would do if I was a lady that was in a bad marriage? I don't mean abusive, but like it's just not working. I would do this with everything, not just marriage. I would never make a problem the focus of my life. I would never make fixing my marriage the focus. I would never make my kid being on drugs my focus. I'm not saying I won't touch it, but I would not make my happiness revolve around my marriage getting fixed or my child coming back to the Lord. I would get a mission from God. I would do what Catherine Coleman did when she had a bad marriage. I would get a mission from God and I would attack it, where now my focus is on doing something, not revolving around the action someone else does or or doesn't make. Right. And I've been astounded. Like, there's people I've known in ministry that something went wrong. And they the ministry they were in, they left, and they're good people. And it's like they haven't done one thing in the ministry since they left. They don't want, they have nothing to add to the kingdom of God. They all they wanted, they were in the ministry to get paid and to have a house and to go out to dinner. And um, you know, people now, hey, like think of this. All this talk about um, hey, I fell morally. Um, how long should it take till I'm restored where I can preach? You could go preach right now. Go fly to Cambodia where nobody knows anything Julie Royce wrote or Mike Winger, and go reach people in rural Cambodia or Myanmar or Mongolia or Belgium where there's like no churches with the gospel. But you don't actually have an interest in reaching anybody with the gospel or healing the sick or delivering people. You want American ministry where you can get paid, preach a few times a month in an air-conditioned place, and go back and live. And that's what I'm finding. Very few Christians have any mission to help build the kingdom of God. And that's why your life sucks. Because now it's devolved to focusing on your marriage, and I'm not really happy, and my children aren't, you know, my children, I really wish they'd visit more. Yeah, your life sucks because you don't have a purpose in life. Not because God doesn't have a purpose for you, because you decided to be an American that or Canadian that whines about your life. Get a mission from God. You know? What if your husband was like, Where have you been? Oh, I've been in the Dominican Republic for the last three weeks helping with an evangelistic crusade. I took Rosetta Stone and learned Spanish. And I've been being an altar worker at a church down there. I've been going down two weeks a month. You know, now he needs to like worry about what's going on. Right. Be offensive. Be on offense in life. Have something you're doing. I didn't wait. I still have two active lawsuits against me in Pittsburgh. I'm like, well, once we get these settled, then we're gonna figure out what. No, I'm on offense. They have to keep up with me. Nobody even knows where my where my church is. Half of them thought I moved to Texas, then they thought I moved to California, then they thought I moved there, because they never heard of a pastor having four churches. They thought, they thought I left. They didn't realize I just am moving. Have a mission you're doing. Your life should never revolve around other people's decisions. That old saying, never keep the key to your happiness in somebody else's pocket. That includes your family. You know, my son is married to a girl and they're living together. Okay, so you blew it. You didn't raise him where he turned out right. Move on. You know, so what? So you're gonna freaking sit in your living room and hope they break up or get married, and you're not gonna move on with your life to them? You're gonna be dead in in a handful of years, and have just been sitting waiting for somebody to work out their domestic relationship that has nothing to do with you. Most of you MAGA people are the same way. You you you you you you did everything in your power to get Trump elected, and you haven't made one different decision with him in office than you did back when Biden was in. So what what did you care? If you're gonna live a crappy, low-income, do-in-nothing life, what do you care who the president is? None of the policies affect you. What do you care about Iran or troops on the ground? Are you in the military? Why are you trying to solve Charlie Kirk's murder? Are you a detective? I think Erica did it. I think it was the CIA. Who gives a crap what you think? I support Israel. You spell it I-S-R-E-A-L. No one cares that you support Israel. You could support Hamas. You're not a help. You're a nothing. You've decided to be a nothing in life that is just focused on everything else that's going on rather than have a mission that you do. Get a mission in life that revolves around the kingdom of God, a business you're building, a ministry you're building. Not waiting around hoping your kids visit more, or your dog looks like it's limping. God made you in his image. You could do a ton of things. All things are possible to him that believes and look at yourself. Grab a mirror and look at yourself. God made you in his image, made all things available that pertain to life and godliness, and look at you. I would change that today. And that will solve everything. Now you're not focused on, you don't notice your husband's golfing or whatever. And I'm not talking about abandoning your family. But the original question was I'm in a bad marriage. Great. Then don't make your life revolve around your marriage. Make it where your husband's like, where have you been? Oh, I just got back from Indonesia. Um, there was a they had a crusade with 200,000 people, and I was an altar worker. You know, I'm not, and I don't mean run away from your problems, but I'm I'm talking about have where your mind is. My mind right now is focused on building a church in Pittsburgh, not what the lawyer for whatever township is is gonna do. Do whatever you want. Knock yourself out. All of you. Anybody that's writing anything about me, do whatever you're gonna do. You mean nothing to me. I have a mission that God's called me to, and I'm getting it done. Pastor Russell, same thing. Sitting around thinking about anything except building Spokane, Kirkland, Snohomish, and Seattle, and possibly more churches. Put yourself in the driver's seat. What is your mission in life? It is astounding to me to watch people get dismissed from ministry positions. Um, and it's like we're we're moving to Wyoming for a year. Okay, so you're a nothing. You have literally nothing to contribute to life. You don't matter. All your Instagram pictures are freaking walking in fields and drinking drinks and eating food and going to restaurants. You are a nothing. When you die, no one will even know you were ever on this planet. There's no shortage of people videoing things. You don't matter. So matter. I'm not saying this to like, like, and then finish, so just so you know, everyone doesn't matter. You've chosen not to matter. You're gonna be one of those people. You ever hear about people when they die and they don't discover they're dead for like 10 days? That says a lot about somebody. You you really don't matter. I saw one lady on Friends if I was two years she was dead and no one noticed. Dang. Because she doesn't matter, no one's missing anything, no one even notices. You chose that. If you're sitting around wishing your grandkids visited more, that's on you. I wish my kids would visit more. That's what your life is? Get a purpose in life.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:36

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:38

You know my mom, I think, and dad understand it. They don't ever bring it up to me. It's like, you know, I'm sure they wish Jonathan would visit more, then you should have raised me to be more of a loser. I I missed my daughter's birthday party two weeks ago. I'm on the move.

unknown 1:37:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:54

I'll make it up to her. I I I was there for half of her birthday. I have a mission. And I'm telling you, if you don't have a mission, you don't know what life is. And your life, when you don't have a mission, you have a lot of prayer requests. Do you know I don't have any prayer requests? I haven't had a prayer request in 20 years. Because I'm causing problems. I'm making other people have prayer requests that work for the devil. I'm I'm a thorn in the side of the devil. I'm not sitting around thinking about what trees I can't eat fruit from and talking to serpents and wondering about my marriage really isn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be. Did you hear they're taking this show off the air? It's my favorite show. If you don't have a mission, you're gonna devolve into being stressed out about the lowest possible thing. My mattress is kind of wonky. It was like firmer when we bought it. And then it, you know, you have no life. You're just you're gonna react to other things. When you have a mission, other things have to react to you. And because you're focused on advancement, you're not focused on all of you. You know, what are you doing getting tested at the doctor's and stuff? Your elbow is that's why, because you have no mission. I don't notice anything. A little bit of a change in my vision. I don't have time to think like a moron that just sits in their living room all day thinking about their marriage and their body, and I'm peeing more than I used to. That could be a prostate problem. Uh my bowel movements have been more watery, and I at my age, that that could be, I don't look at any of that. I'm not paying attention to my body, anything. I'm paying attention to getting something done. And in doing that, that's where all the fulfillment comes from. What are you doing to build the kingdom of God? I've been watching Jeff and Chuck and Brendan, the ushers that came up here. I've never seen those guys laugh and smile. So I'm not saying they're unhappy before. They're having a blast because they're in their purpose. They do security professionally. They're here in Spokane in case there's trouble, and they're having a great time because they're on a mission. Not sitting around thinking about, I wonder if I wonder if we'll have a red wave in November. What do you care if the Republicans take the House or Senate? All of you. What is going to change in your life with the Republicans taking the House or Senate? You've chosen to do nothing. Your life would be no different if Kamala was in office. They said they're gonna, they're gonna, what? Unless they make a law outlawing sitting in your pajama pants watching prices right, eating microwave food, your life's not gonna be affected no matter if the Democrats take every seat in the House and Senate. You don't matter. You've chosen not to matter. You watch TV, you're a commenter. You comment on what other people are doing. You've chosen to sit in the stadium rather than be on the field. And you should choose to be on the field. God has work to do. Father, thank you that you have a mission for all of us in life. Let everybody realize their purpose today instead of complaining about what their people around them are doing or not doing, or the government's doing or not doing, or Israel, Iran, and Erica Kirk, and Israel and Palestine and Ukraine and Russia. In Jesus' name, let people awaken on the inside of them what you've called them to do and then empower them to attack it with all their might. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you've never received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you should do it because you'll go to hell if you don't. So pray this prayer with me. Heavenly Father, I admit that I've sinned. I repent. I believe in my heart you raised Jesus from the dead. I confess with my mouth Jesus is Lord and my Savior. In Jesus' name. Amen.