The Power of Prevention

Some people show up when the world looks away. She shows up when it's falling apart.

In this episode of You Don't Know What I Been Through, we sit down with Saleshea Peterson — founder of Hug A Child, NFP. When violence strikes, when grief is fresh, when communities are trying to hold themselves together — she's already there.

Saleshea is an advocate and survivor who has dedicated her life to serving survivors of violence and leading violence prevention programming for young people across Chicago. She doesn't just understand this work intellectually — she has lived it. As a survivor of domestic violence and gun violence, she turned her deepest wounds into her greatest calling. And that is exactly what makes her voice undeniable.

And when the news stories stop airing, when the vigils are over, when the world moves on — she stays. Months later. Years later. Still showing up. Still checking in. Still making sure survivors know they haven't been forgotten. That kind of commitment doesn't come from a job description. It comes from lived experience and a calling that runs deeper than most people will ever understand.

But her mission doesn't stop with survivors. Saleshea wraps her arms around the youth too — literally and figuratively — creating experiences that remind them what it feels like to just be a kid. Because she understands that something as powerful as a hug — love, attention, and genuine investment in a child — can reshape their future and ignite something in them that the world truly needs.

Prevention and intervention aren't separate strategies. They are both necessary. And she lives that truth every single day.

This conversation goes deep — into the rooms most people never enter, the internal work behind the strength you see, and the weight of being the one everyone calls. This is the episode that reminds you why the work matters and what it truly costs the people who show up to do it.

In this episode, we cover:

🎙️ Her origin story and the experiences that shaped her calling.

🎙️ Surviving domestic violence — and the truth about the journey of healing.

🎙️ What survivors of gun violence need most in the first hours after tragedy.

🎙️ How trust is built in the most sacred and painful spaces.

🎙️ Navigating systems to make sure survivors don't get lost.

🎙️ Why she named her organization Hug A Child — and the power behind that simple act.

🎙️ How pouring into young people today can minimize violence tomorrow.

🎙️ Why this work requires both prevention and intervention — and why one without the other isn't enough.

🎙️ Rebuilding yourself after trauma while showing up for others.

🎙️ What healing really looks like — for her and the people she serves.

🎙️ How everyday people can be part of the solution.

If you've ever wondered what it looks like to build something powerful from your most broken moments — this episode holds the blueprint. 🔥

🔔 Hit subscribe — because the stories we're telling? They need to be heard.

💬 What does showing up for your community mean to you? Drop it in the comments. This is a safe space. 🕊️

📲 Follow us:

linktr.ee/geraldgthementor

linktr.ee/stephharmony

You Don't Know What I Been Through — but we're figuring it out together. 💙🤞🏾

May every survivor listening remember this: you are worthy of safety, worthy of support, and worthy of healing. Your story does not end in pain — it evolves in power. 💜✨️

#YouDontKnowWhatIBeenThrough #HugAChildMakeAChange #SalesheaPeterson #SurvivorStory #ChicagoStrong #HealingIsPossible #CommunityHealing #GunViolence #DomesticViolenceAwareness #HealingInAction

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Let's talk sessions at the crib because mama probably going through some trauma in her life. So all it hearing is yelling. Shut up, get out my face, go sit down. Like.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

And I had to be the voices for the parents when they couldn't speak. Losing a child. I never lost one. But I think I would lose my voice if I lost any of my children.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

And it's like to be open, to be vulnerable, that is healing. It is. And so you've been able to take your experiences and let it not only shape you, but turn it into passion, turn it into purpose.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

What's up? What's up, y'all? This is Jerry the Mentor.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

And this is Steph Harmony.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

And you are tuned into the You Don't Know What I've Been Through podcast. Awesome. She be always excited, Joe. Like.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Welcome back, guys. You don't know what I've been through podcast. Because we have my sister here today. So I'm just ready to get into it. My bed, my bed, my bed.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

No, you good. I love the energy. Yay. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

We are in for an amazing conversation. Um sitting with a woman whose presence is felt every time our city is hurting. Um, when violence shakes a family, when tragedy strikes, when communities are just trying to hold themselves together, she shows up. She stands with people in their darkest moments, in their darkest hours, and brings a level of just love and compassion and truth and strength that really can't be taught. She's a survivor, she's a healer. Yes. She is a leader. Um, she is the heartbeat behind Hug a Child, make a change.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

I think I would lose my voice if I lost any of my children.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Healing is a journey. It's not something like, oh, I'm a rock. I'm a healer.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

You don't know what I've been doing. You know what I've been through. You know what I've been through. Everything that I've been through.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Um, family, let's please welcome my sister. Yes, Chalisha Peterson.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

I'm your biggest hype man right now. What's going on, mama?

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Man, I'm chilling. What's going on? Man, I'm chili. You can tell her voice.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Man, up chili, what's going on? Welcome to the podcast. You don't know what I've been through, podcast. You know what I'm saying? It's an honor to have you here. I know you could be anywhere in the world, out the country, sitting with the president, talking numbers, all that, but you here with us.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

You hear me? It's a very important person we got here, y'all. Just letting y'all know.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yes, yes. And before we talk about the work and all the great things that you do, um, I want people to just under understand and get to know a little bit more about Miss Shelecia. So, can you take us back to um the beginning of your journey? What experiences have shaped you, and um what's led you to the calling to support uh survivors in the city?

SPEAKER_01 3:13

So losing my mother ten years ago was something tragic to me. Um it was my breaking point, I feel, in my life. Um, everything was okay. Until I lost her, I thought I really had my life together. When really it was all messed up. And losing her is when I had to figure out that my life wasn't together and I wanted to help people with my own story, and I was hiding behind my enabler, which was my mom. Um Chicago has always been a city where it's been a lot of violence and losing a lot of people. I was born and raised on the near north side of Cabrini Green area. Um seeing murders and growing up, seeing my family get killed and different things like that. Um my mother was a healer. Um, everybody was welcome in our house. And I think I got that nurturing spirit from her, that love, that compassion, but also that um the force to be reckoned with as well. Uh but yeah, my journey started when I lost my mother to realize that I had to be out here and learn myself. And after I learn myself from being broken to being fixed, to be the fixer. So that's where I am now.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

I love how you put that. For real. Um, and that's deep.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

From being broke to be what's the second to being fixed, to being the fixer.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

To being the fixer. So basically, what your shirt say, Hug a child, make a change.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Can I s can you pull it the bottom down a little bit so we can see the whole lick? Yeah, that's dope. That's your that's yours dope.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

So that's my nonprofit organization, Hug a Child Make a Change.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Um, I started off doing Women Empowering Women. I'm a domestic violence survivor. Um, after I built myself up from being broken, after my mom passed, um living through domestic violence with my ex-husband, fixing myself, healing myself with wholeness, I felt like I groom myself to hug children and make changes. Um, some of this brokenness to me started in adolescence when I was younger.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Um, so I invested in hugging people, making changes. But more so now, more into our youth, hugging the child, making a change.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Sure. That's I like that. So and you so you survived that, right? What kind of experience uh that stay with a person forever, like traumatic experience that you even years later, you still be like, oh, that's a trigger for me when you see certain things happen.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Seeing other women go through it, seeing other men go through it. Um it's a trigger to not being able to help them because nobody can help you until you want to help yourself.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

That's a fact. That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

So doing all I can and they still are in the same situation until they're ready to heal and they ready to leave. Everybody ain't ready to leave. I wasn't either.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

And so yeah, you made you made that decision. It was a choice that you made, and you just wanted to survive be a survivor, so you're survivor of many things. But it's sound what I'm hearing is also you're shifting your experiences also into purpose, right? Into your organization and and all of all of those things. So I just um if you can go a little bit into if there's some moments in particular that just shaped you or shifted you um to just really embody the purpose that you're living out today.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Losing um a nine-year-old in the Cabrini Green community five years ago made me want to hug children and make change. And seeing those children who experienced losing their friend. Um, when we were younger, we didn't lose our school friends. Everybody came to school and, you know, they were there. But imagine children come to school and their classmate, they're saying they lost their classmate to gun violence, or they were there when it happened. So I knew impactfully I had to make an impact. Um, that was traumatic about the youth that made me want to turn around and hug children and make changes. And I knew I had to do something in that instant. I had to be there for the youth. I had to help them heal. I had to provide the resources, and I had to be the voices for the parents when they couldn't speak. Losing a child, I never lost one, but I think I would lose my voice if I lost any of my children.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

I know some people who lost a child uh to the streets, a couple learned from gun violence. I can't imagine.

unknown 8:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

I think the same way, like when I see young people go down that road, it just makes me be proud that I'm uh I'm the father that I supposed to be. Um my father was abusive to my mother when I was young. And we I was like five, six, and I remember seeing it clear as day. She even shot at him. Um but she shot at him a couple times, like he tried to come toward to the crib, and she out the window with the joint, you know, like and it boom, you feel me? And we like, damn my mom. But I can definitely relate to the domestic violence. It taught me not to hit women as I got older. Sometimes with younger people experiencing that, they actually think that's okay. And then they grew up doing the same thing they saw that men doing to their mother, you know what I mean? I could definitely relate to that.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Generational cycles.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Yeah. Um, my mom told me that she experienced that when she was 16. She had to move out of mom's house. She married somebody and she had a was in an abusive relationship. Not with my father, not with my stepfather. But I saw my mom take nothing off nobody. You talk to her any kind of way, she demanded her respect. She'll throw the first blow. She'll shoot the first shot.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

So that's what I saw growing up, not to take anything off anybody. Um so I was always um in the beginning overly aggressive, right? But learning, getting in social services, getting my degree, learning that there is resources for that trauma.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Um, you were taught younger, you don't you don't go see a psychiatrist, you don't talk to nobody. Whatever goes on in this house stays in this house.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

So working in social service taught me a lot because that opened up doors for resources for me from the childhood trauma I had, and also for my two children. So, able to utilize those resources, able to go back to school. Um, but all this took toll after my mother passed. They didn't do it while she was alive. So um, yeah, having those resources to heal my childhood trauma. People don't know my story, they know my name.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

You didn't. Oh God. You don't know what I've been through.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

And that's fact. That's fact. Yeah. You know, they know your name. They don't know your story.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Straight up.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Yeah, but you you hit on, you really hit on something with um just being able to heal and heal safely and heal openly and not, no, I don't gotta be quiet. I don't have to keep it in. I don't have to keep it a a secret. It's you know, we have the this um in some some systems, don't say nothing or you know, be quiet or stop crying. And it's like to be open, to be vulnerable, that is healing. It is and so you've been able to take your your experiences and and let it not only shape you, but turn it into passion, turn it into purpose, turn it into understanding that it's okay to be vulnerable and it's okay to go through the emotions and and heal and and go through that, go through that journey. Um, and you are entering in in these communities, you're entering very, these are very sacred, sacred, sacred spaces. So as you've been able to kind of navigate your own experiences, your own trauma, going through those, those sacred spaces and being vulnerable, um, that that takes a level of trust. So what does what does trust mean to you and how importance has um you establishing trust in communities? How do you how do you feel that shapes your work?

SPEAKER_01 12:30

It shapes my work completely. Um I feel even though I went back to get my degree, live experience means more to me than a degree. I can meet my people in the communities where they are because I live this. I walk this walk. This is not nothing fake or phony. This is I can relate to you.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

And when you're able to tell your story, I'm still here. But to keep that loyalty with those families and build those reports and show empower and love, I mean, that's sacred. That's sacred. When people lose their children, they trust you. Yes. They trust that you're there to show empathy, that you're compassionate, and you care. Um, sometimes you're the only person that they do have. So that's 100% sacred to me. Um, I heard all about this uh photo oping or ambulance chasing when I got in the in the organization business, but I'm truly here from the heart because I lost my brother last year to gun violence. So I wanted people to show my family that same empathy.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Um, losing the nine-year-old, I knew his family since I was nine years old. So, I mean, building that trust, I mean, that's critical. It's critical. It's critical. And you have to show empathy, you have to show compassion, you have to be a listening ear to this traumatic experience. You can't be fake with this.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

You can't. These are non-negotiables, people. Non-negotiables. You have to come at this in this with your authentic self, with your heart and your whole heart.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Or this is not the space for you, and it's okay. Just step aside and let somebody else come through that really wants to um support and help families to heal in the way that they deserve.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

And that's passionate and genuine about the work, too. Um, I tell people all the time, bruh, if you ain't went through what I went through, or you ain't struggled when I struggle, you ain't hustle when I hustle, you ain't helped me eat when I was down, bruh. Well, I ain't listening to you. Period. And that big di that's that's important because that's a huge disconnect from a lot of people who do these, got get paid to do these uh jobs and do this work versus the community. Like, if you always been like in the out of town and you don't even know Chicago, and then you come into Chicago, like, oh hey, they're gonna be like, where you from? Oh, I'm from XYZ. What the f what you doing around here? Accountability. And so the thing is community pimping. A lot of people use it for community pimping. They know it's a lot of money in this, so they like, yeah, well, I could fit that and I can go in here and this is what they need one whole time. You don't know what they need.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

You know what I'm saying? You gotta listen first.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Right. But I kind of like disagree with that, right? Because I go in different communities that I'm not from, right? I could work over there, I could see the need over there, right? And you come in a community and they're standoffish because they think automatically you're coming over to community pimp, but you really hear passionate and authentic from the heart. You genuine and authentic. You want to save people. A lot of people never knew that I was doing this work out of my own pocket. They thought I was getting grant funding, they thought I was getting sponsorship. No, this is really what I wanted to do. Uh, Pastor just told me this year at my back to school event, all these years you've been coming over here doing these community events, and you don't get no grant funding. Oh, we're gonna make sure you get it. But people don't know that they're already building up a wall because they have been community pimped. Don't get me wrong, but it is some people that you have to see that are genuine and authentic from the heart. I don't want nothing from this, I just want to make it to the other side. People don't know my spiritual side. I feel after this life, it's a spiritual side, and I want my good to outweigh my bad so I can see my mother and my father again. Yeah, so it ain't um sometimes people build up blockages, but I'm I'm that person that's really coming in your community trying to help. And sometimes you get shut down because there have been people that have been community pivot. And just because I'm from Detroit don't mean I don't know the struggle of what happened in Chicago, we got the same pain.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Yeah, and that goes back, that goes back to the intent and to the heart and to the passion because you can go into any space, whether you're from there or not. And if you're if your intent is true and your heart is pure, you're gonna be able to make a difference. Just like you can be from a certain area and know the people and be from there and all of that. But if your intent is bad and you're trying to community pimp, then you're not gonna have that impact. So it's at the end of the day, I think it's really about your heart, your intent, and how you show up in these spaces, regardless of where you are.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

And I tell people now, like, stop looking at the outskirts of people and look at their heart. I didn't do that at first. Now I'm straight looking to try to see where people's heart is. I don't care what you look like on the outside, but I can see your heart. It's some people's heart I can see because they wear it on their shoulder like me. I am um, I show my hand. And that's how sometimes I get used because I show my hand first because that's just who God created me to be. Um but it's other people like me. And I'm not gonna give up to find my village. I'm gonna keep on trying. I'm gonna be aligned with my right people.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

I agree 100% you being aligned with your right people. Me on the other hand, shit. I've been that person who a motherfucker community pimp, you know? So, and I'm but I'm a guy. You know what I mean? So it's different for me than it is a woman. I know for me for a fact, like, bruh, you ain't come on man, I seen you do this to other people. I was with you, didn't know better at first. But when I did open my eyes, I'm I even told him, like, hey blood, you know what you're doing is wrong, right? No, man, you know what I'm saying, man. I just did it. I'm like, alright, it's gonna catch up with you. But once he did it to me, on site, well, what's happening? But seven years, it seemed like every time I was in a position to do something to him, the most high blessed me. Man, here go you a job. Okay, mindset still on that. Ooh, I see this n here go you another job. You feel me? To the point where now it's like, I don't need now when I see you, I could just boy. But at the same token, you're not finna use my people again. So that's you know, that's where I come from with it.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Well, that's why I feel about elevation and growth.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

You know, like you said, it takes time to grow. We all gotta grow into our authentic self. Yes. And in the beginning, we all probably thinking like that, you play me, I want to play you. But once you grow, you be like, you ain't even worse. Look, look how I elevated. And you weren't supposed to come with me, no way.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

And then you get blessed higher and higher. So I've been in those, I've been used a lot. Um, it used to take me years to figure out people's man. God give me 30 days for them now, flat. Today for you.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Give me 10 seconds.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Off of I'm not real for real. The way I am, like off a conversation. I could talk to a if I don't feel a vibe, the energy not there, trust me.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

All right, cool. And I know how to cold switch.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

When I was uh years ago, I used to be like, nigga, fuck I'm cold switching for, but I went through a couple trainings. Yeah, it was like it's important to cold switch. Now I understand it. So it's like as a as a man, I'm disciplined now. Like at my job, I used to wear hoodie, joggers all the time. I'm in violence prevention. Some of the people there'd be like, I say some stuff and I just let them know I'm smart or whatever. They'll say, I didn't know you were intelligent. Now I could have got offended and was like, be word, who you I was like, Oh, it's okay. I've always been intelligent. And I gave them a hug. You know what I mean? So definitely. Um so you're constantly moving between community organizations, hospitals, city advocates, street outreach, and all of that. So what um you make sure they get what they need in real time, right? Without being lost in the system. How do you how do you that sounds like a lot? How do you self-care? Like, how do you balance that?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

You gotta plug out. You gotta take time for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Explain what plug out means.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

Plug out means getting on a plane, cutting your work phone off, yeah, and doing what you need to do for you. Also finding your therapist that you can unpack to about what you're dealing with.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Um, I go weekly because what I do is critical and it's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

It is.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

You're observing other people's pain too. It's bleeding on you.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

And you're relieving your trauma of losing your mother or domestic violence, or losing your brother, or losing your best friend who died from COVID. So those are like my top three people my mother, my best friend, and my brother. Those are the deaths that really like trigger me. Um, but having that therapist and that outlet is really how I found my balance. But also plugging out completely. Learning how to put my phone down, learning those boundaries that I was taught in therapy. Definitely. Because man, I used to be like seven days a week on call whenever somebody needs me, stretched thin, and I had to fan out in the spiritual realm that they ain't from God. You gotta go where you're aligned to go. What's more, what makes sense to you, your organization, and what you're doing, your purpose-driven at life. So um, yeah, I I therapy is my 100% self-care. Massages is three. Getting on a plane is two. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Therapy, y'all, get that shit. Yes. My therapy is music.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

So and you know, and my kids. Um, when I'm mad or going through a think I'm and crying too. I cry in private. Uh, I lost my father in 2018, uh, dementia. Caught caught us off guard. But um, yeah, that's my therapy, my music. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Yeah. I mean, you know what I say about crying.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

It's a form of healing.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Yes, it's the body's way of healing itself. And Shalisha, I mean, what I'm hearing is using your experiences and and even that self-care, that's healing. Like you're literally healing yourself in real time so that you can have a full cup as you go into these communities and help people on their on their healing journey and through their trauma. So as you're doing that, as you're healing yourself and healing others, what is something that you really learned about that that healing journey that um, yeah, you want to maybe encourage others about?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

You gotta take care of yourself to take care of others. You have to be honest with yourself. No one is too much, know when to plug out. Um, what people don't know about me is I swim. That's my fourth self-care. I don't think I know. No, because people think I want to get my hair messed up. But that's my therapy. Like, I love it. I'm at different park districts, I'm at different hotels, I'm swimming. That's my therapy. Yeah, so you have to be able to take care of yourself. Um man, that is critical to be able to take care of yourself and know that you're okay to take care of others. Yeah. Because when you're not okay, you bleed on other people.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Yeah. And if you really want to be um successful in this work and last some type of time, you have to. Like I had to learn. This work has taught me the importance of self-care.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

You know, it's uh it's one thing to say, oh, make sure you practice self-care. And I, you know, I started out like that in my career in this work, just you know, um, supporting communities in different ways, violence prevention, all of that, education. Um, talked a good game, a good game about self-care. Because I'm intellectually, I knew, oh, yeah, this is important. And so I want to make sure I help other people to understand that. And then really getting into this, getting into this work and elevating and the just the the amount of um, it's just taxing. It takes up a lot of time and understanding that and going through that, and then like, okay, I'm burning candle at both ends now. I need to, I'm saying all of this on the call. And it's like, but I'm tired, I'm working, you know, crazy hours and I'm not, I'm not de-stressed. So it literally, it forced me to come up with a self-care plan and a healing plan. And so I love when you say, you know, take a flight, take a trip, unplug. I literally, I spend, I will say, okay, I'm putting my phone up, so I have it.

SPEAKER_01 25:33

What you also gotta have is your circle is your life.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

So I'm just realizing that now I'm 45 years old. Whoever you're involved with in your life. So to find your peer support system, right? Yes. When you do this work, outside of your therapist, yes, um, learning this year, 2025, who's my real peer support system. Who can I lend lean on that doesn't want something from me that can be something for me. And man, I've been healing and it's been whole because I'm finding my peer support system. I'm finding out who is really the people that I need in my life. And man, these these five people, they strong. I don't even think I need nobody else. I'm cool with them five.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

Everybody else is just like uh icing on the cake as they sell extra, yeah. That's a fact.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Yeah, I mean I say assets and liability.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

Assets and liability. Sounds so technical.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Yeah, hello. Hello, assets and liability. No, dead ass, they be like, damn, you go in with an interview. I do. Like, how can I be aspects of your life? No, that ass, like, because people don't have conversations no more.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

They don't even know how to start one, they don't even know how to keep one. And my thing is, okay, hey, how you doing? How was your day? My day was good. All right, cool. So, you have any hobbies and goals that you look forward to that you have accomplished? What are some things that you're working on? And then they be like, uh, well, you know, I got a lot of goals. Okay, well, how can I be an asset to your life? Uh oh. I say, well, take your time and think about that. That's like for me, okay, cool. I know where not to place this person. Because when I come into somebody's life, it's all about growth, development. How can I help you? How can I be an asset? How can we move and go grow higher? I when Steph we first met, she was doing um, what we call that? The meetings. We was at the meetings on Wednesday. So by them being fresh faces, and by me being from the community in the hood, in my mind, I'm like, shit, I just spoke to her. She was like, hey, how you doing? Hey, what up? Because in my mind, it's like, what the fuck you doing here? Like, we don't know you type shit. And um, that's crazy. I'm sorry, but I'm just telling you the truth. So one day we had like a barbecue cook-off thing. And um, I was having trouble with this gentleman. Uh, he don't work with us no more, but he's working with us anyways. I said, I'm finna quit my job and focus on entrepreneurship. She was like, What does that look like? My clothing brand, my music, my podcast, I'm finna da da da. She was like, Damn, what's that? I wanna I wanna know more. We talked about it. I guarantee I promise you, from that day to this day, locked in. I'm like, damn, I judged you at first.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

Don't judge your book past cover.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

You feel me?

SPEAKER_02 28:32

And it wasn't no like judgment on some well, no, not the cover, but she You know, she ain't from, she ain't this.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

It was just like, I don't know you. You work for the ops. You see what I'm saying? Because again, my trauma from community pimping and all of that, it's like, what the fuck you doing here? Now I just want to hear you out and see what's to you. Now we working together, cool. And even when we did events together, I still would keep it at a minimum. How you doing? What's going on? I bet. But when I opened up to her that day, it was like a light went off. And she was like, um, I like that. Can we get connected? I'm cool. After a couple more meetings, I say, Hey Steph, you wanna be a co-host on my podcast? Bam, fireworks. Feel me?

SPEAKER_02 29:16

And that's so important because what what happened is we connected on a human level. You know, it wasn't I was no longer just about, you know, where I where I may have represented. I'm at the end of the day, I'm a I'm a human being. And I come from communities. Shout out to South Shore.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

Shout out to South Shores.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

South Shore. Shout out to South Shore. Yes. So that's me. But also when you communicate and talk to people, you get to know because you can have a conversation with somebody still, and you can see, okay, well, they community pimping, or they're not their authentic selves, or you know, they really don't care about this work, or they really don't come from a place of love. So it's really about that that connection and kind of getting to know people. But I'm also very reserved. I keep, you know, my circle is very small. Um, I know you said you have like your your top five, your five. That's a throwback. Fave, five is crazy. We dating ourselves, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Straight up.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

It's gonna be like, what? What's that?

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Um two of my children.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

We gotta pour into our children that's that's that's key.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

So they that's key. They put me on the highest pedestal. They don't see no wrong in their mama. She the goat to them.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Oh God.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

They don't know behind closed doors, I'll be falling out.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

That's that resilience, you know? It's like you gotta pull it together, but you also are pouring into yourself too, kind of filling back your cup. So I I love that, and that's that's great. But um, the children, the young people, that's so important because we have so much to learn from younger people. Um, to any adult that feels like you can't learn from somebody younger, come here.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

For real.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

Understand young people, there is so much that we can learn from them. They help to, they, you know, sometimes they challenge us, they expand us.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Um, but we also have to pour back into them as well. It's reciprocal. And so a love when I can just kind of connect with like-minded souls and individuals that are really doing that on both ends.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

And I mean with the children, like I have a less talk session, right, with the youth. I like that. And they um come in and they're able to express themselves and tell me what they need.

SPEAKER_03 31:28

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

What they want, what they want to see in their communities, what's triggering them, what's traumatizing. And then me as an advocate, I take that back to the higher people, the politicians, the community owners, the businesses. For sure. You all on the podcast, put these kids on, you know, so their voices can be heard. Definitely. So I want to make them know that they have a space where they can be themselves and tell me what they want and what they need to see the change. See, they know the change. We already, we don't. We got to meet the youth where they at. They got the answers. Yes. So I hold those let's talk sessions so I can see what they need and try to go and get that for them.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Absolutely. Yeah, we will have young people.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

So like what a peace circle shit. Let's explain what's going on. That's but that's very important. Yeah. And what it is, for real, for real, they don't even have that at home.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Nope. No LA.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

They got no less talk sessions at the crib because mama probably going through some trauma in her life. So all they hearing is yelling. Shut up, get out my face, go sit down.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Like, well, you got a single mama that used to work like me. I was a CNA working 12-hour gym. So I gotta help you with the homework. I gotta work overnight. I gotta make sure I pick y'all up. I'm a single parent and I'm tired. Yeah. Right? So I gotta do, I'm doing the bare minimum. I ain't got time to talk. So that's why when I came into this, learning like a lot of the stuff that my son went through. I understand what type of parent I was to my son. And my daughter and son are 10 years apart, now understanding how my daughter has a whole different version of me than what my son had. So that's it was two different parenting. You know, I was learning with him, I was growing with him. But when my daughter, she sees this business owner, this person with a degree, this person that's out here saving the community. But my son saw a whole different person. And I made sure that I gave my son that apology once I knew I wasn't the parent who I was supposed to be to him. And he still didn't want to take it. He still told me, Mom, you was everything that I needed. Wow. The mistakes that I made, I made them because those are the choices that I wanted to make. And I had to think back. No matter what my mom did, I went outside and did what I wanted to do. She couldn't come chase me and be with me 24 hours. But my daughter got a whole different version. She got a, you gotta go to school, you gotta get the degree. I'm at the school, I'm sending her to Spain. She got all these stamps on her passport. She got the mom that's doing community engagement, the mom that's on the news. My son got the mom that was like, Man, mom, what you out there standing in the projects for? I I got Tim out there standing with in the projects with a chinchilla on because that's what I thought it you supposed to look like. You know, so yeah, it you you live and you grow. That's what you gotta know. You live and you grow and be thankful for your past because it made it who you who you are today. Absolutely. So I'm beyond thankful that I'm able to grow. And you have to tell your story to save somebody. And you have to grow. If we were all supposed to stay the same, we all be babies. And there's no perfect people. So don't be ashamed of what you've been through. Tell that story so somebody else can soak it in and be their authentic self and not be ashamed of what they've been through.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

They can have the courage to tell their shit too. Yeah. But that's why I did this. I'm doing this podcast for. It's a platform for those who don't have a voice. This is your voice. Um the voice. Um, going back to you playing both parents, you know what I mean, with your son and your daughter. That's that's wicked. Was there any male uh influence or presence to help you with your son or with your, you know, in your life going through this journey of being a mother?

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Man. I had my stepfather. Well, my son, dad was in jail. That's all he knew. He he grew up in Cabrini Green. He went back to Ford to jail because he what he knew was selling drugs and he did what he knew. Um, once he got with me, I knew a little bit different because I ain't come from that background. You know, came from a two-family home, mom and dad, whatever. Um, but I showed him how to fill out his first application. I helped him get his first job. Now he's successful as a store manager, you know. But when my son was growing up, he had to go through his trauma of going back and forth to jail. Now he's the man to my son that he should have been. But I'm thankful that he's still the father now. They meet up every Sunday, they got less talk sessions. Yeah. And my son 25, and his dad and him spent a lot of time together.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

That's imperative.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

So I felt like he still made an impact because my son needed him as an adult. Because we don't want to lose our son to the streets now.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

You know what I'm saying? Even though you went to jail, that's cool. Embrace that. Yeah, you didn't want that for your son. Now you're here. So I salute my child's father. Because I also got to know he didn't know anything either. He only did what he knew.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

He knew, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

So I respect him and I respect the bond that him and his son have now. So no is the answer to did I have any men that was impactful um in my son's life. No, I didn't. But when his father finally got it together, he got it together.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

I love that. That's great. I swear, like, I love that for real because that's what's important. And everybody be like, they talk about the problem with the young people, and they be like, What's the solution? I'm like, these men. The women do everything. The mothers go over and beyond, do everything they could. But it's different when the man and the mother together is there for real, for real. That's shout out to her son, Daddy. You the big homie.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

He definitely the big homie. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

We like brother and sister. Like, that's how, I mean, my mother was his mother, his mother, my mother. And yeah, we still to this day, he just got married a couple years ago. Me, him, his wife, my son, we went to the bowling party. You know, that's what they don't want to show, the blend of families. Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

They don't want that in African American communities. That's very important.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Because it shifts the narrative. It's like, wait, no, this is not what we did, you know, portraying in these movies and TV shows and talking and highlighting in the media. We've been we've been highlighting the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

Um, but it sounds like you've been doing the work of hug a child before hug a child was hug a child. Hugging everybody. Hugging everybody.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

You get a hug, you get a hug, you get a hug.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Everybody gets a hug.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

Everybody get a hug. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

So can you go a little bit more to the services and just the work of hug a child and um, yeah, just just some of the work that you that you do and how you show up for community? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

So hug a child does victim services and victim advocacy. We show up to any um domestic or shootings or violent crimes in the city of Chicago, um, whether they're fatal or non-fatal. Um, we provide those services, life coaching, resources to mental health, workforce development, and youth development. So, what I do with the youth is trying to inform um platforms, let's talk sessions. I run programming um now three days a week for the youth, ages eight to 26 years old, in the North Lawndale community at BBF. They gave me an opportunity, and I'm gonna give back me and my whole team. It's not just me. Like I said, you gotta have that peer support. You gotta have that team that's in the show. Yes, that circle. And people that have that lived experience to save our youth. You know, um, you can read a book and be a scientist. But if you lived and walked these streets, you can meet these kids where they at. And you can reach them like this young man here who started this podcast. I believe he's very impactful to the youth. Very impactful to the young men. My son needs to meet him. You know, it takes a village. That's how I feel. Like my daughter, she got to get groom with Stephanie. It takes a village. I remember those villages we had. Yes, and that's what we have to bring back. Absolutely. So that's what we offer. And I'm out here, boots on the ground. I'm here to save the youth. I'm here to build communities, and I'm here to engage and be the voices when people are voiceless.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Yeah, that that it takes a village is so important. And I know we've been here, we grew up hearing that. We grew up living that and seeing that and having our village and our communities to embrace us. And um, some of the things that we see in the village, we may not, you know, we may not see. Some people don't believe in the village anymore. They don't they believe that the village is no longer here. Yeah. So what do you say to those people that that believe that the village is so far gone or the village not coming back? Um, I I I see conversations like this, and there's so many people that have this, the heart and the spirit um to just be that village. Yet so many people are don't really believe in it or believe that it's gone or it's lost. So what would you say to people that believe that the village is just far gone and not and maybe not coming back for a while?

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Look at the heart, don't look at the people. Look at the heart, don't look at the people. Look at the people that's really out there, loving on the kids, loving on the communities, loving on this work. Um, it's people out here. Join forces, collaborate over competition. Yes, man, unity. Bring unity back in your community. I don't care. I started off making sandwiches out of my own house, taking them outside, giving them to people, getting the containers from dollar, uh, from the dollar store, putting the sandwich chips in the juice, giving it out to people, giving it out to kids. Hey, some people say, Hey, what day are you gonna do that? They start joining me. So I just say, like, man, look at the people. Don't give up. And you can't give up in your mind.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

You gotta pray for strength of the mind. Make sure your mind is strong, everything else will follow.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

These common themes just keep coming out in every episode about belief and thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

I get that all the time. My daddy was a preacher, but my grandfather was a preacher. Give me some. This face is the face for me. It's the face for me. You hear me? I get that all the time.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Are you a pastor? You ever thought about being a preacher? I'd be like, I sound like a preacher. I don't even think I sound like a preacher.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

It's the frequency. And then just like we were talking about with your circle, and we were talking about with the village. Yes, if you feel like the village is gone, that's because that's probably what you're focusing on. Maybe you're not doing the things that changes.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

Change your train of thinking.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

Yeah, you're not connecting with the right people, you're not seeing the light, seeing the hearts of people. Um, so it's really it's really all about what you focus on that you will attract that reality, and that's real talk.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

And that is so amazing. It's like every episode, we all be like saying damn that it's common themes.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

That and that that's that is a signal that that is a signal that these things are truth, these are universal truths.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

I agree. So absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Absolutely. You we sitting here with an amazing young woman. Yeah. Um and she's a firecracker. And I say that because she sits there quiet in the mug, boy. And boys, you get the popping off and she get the going. Um, you could definitely tell the passion that's within you. How can people help support you? Like let the people know how they can help and support.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

So I'm always looking for volunteers. Everybody doesn't have money, but few people have time. For sure. So I'm doing a Thanksgiving drive, Christmas drives, back to school events, community engagement events. You're always welcome to volunteer. My website is www or americanchildren.com. My social media pages, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Hug a Chow, non-for-profit, you're always able to reach me um on any of those platforms. My email is info at hug a childnfp.org. So any of those platforms, you're able to reach me to volunteer. You can donate financially because we are funded out of pocket. We make it happen. Because when you're genuine and authentic, you find ways to help people because you show empathy. It can be always be me on the other side. I'm sitting here today, I'm able to help, but you never know what happened next week. So you want to get um anything that I have, give you time, give you love. Mentors. I'm always looking for mentors for the youth. Always looking for people to stand in the gap for the seniors, community buildings, doing like that because I love them. They paved the way for us. So, you know, that's ways you can give.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Absolutely. And you are you are absolutely um a visionary. Yeah. So on your on your on your social media, on your Facebook, um, if you got guys, take a moment, go to her Facebook, Hug a Child, NFP on Facebook. In in your the background picture. Yes. You know what I mean? Talk about it. The vision. She has a vision. It's a beautiful, beautiful portrait of her community center. Yes, ma'am. Yes. And she's she is writing the vision and she is making it plain. She is a forward thinker. So when you think about the next chapter, what's next? What is what is the vision? What is the dream in the next chapter for Hugger Child?

SPEAKER_01 44:52

The dream is a brick and mortar community center, um, vested in the city of Chicago. Personally, I want to do it on the west side. I want to bring back. I grew up where they had the YMCA where it cost a dollar for us to swim, to learn modern dance, tap, basketball. Yes. We had everything for one dollar. My mom paid one dollar a year. So bringing that funding, those people that believe in those visions, I want a skating rink, I want a bowling alley, I want Violence Prevention Center and Social Services in there. I want a game room in arcade. I want a place where everybody, even the seniors, can feel like they have a space. And what I have seen, there's no aftercare. Everything closes at 5 o'clock, 6 o'clock, all these community centers.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

When violence is going up, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Violence is going up at the 6 o'clock. And they're building all these brick and mortars. Healthcare is important. Um, these workforce developments are important, but these community centers need to be back in our communities. And I want to keep minds open to 11 o'clock at night. I got people where it's aftercare. I was just out at a crime at night, you know, after I got off my regular job to go to my organization. There's no time to stop fighting for your people. So I want to bring that community center to the city of Chicago. And that's my vision. That's my plan. And it will happen. I won't stop until it happens.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

Absolutely will happen. It will happen.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

It will happen.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

She ain't say I'm trying.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

You heard it here first, people.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

It will.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

It will. You got to speak it into existence.

SPEAKER_00 46:26

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

What you want, you have to go out there and get it. Absolutely. And you got to talk about it. Somebody will invest in your vision, in your mission, once they see your passion. They'll say, Oh, this is what you want a brick and mortar. Let me give her $2.3 billion. So that's going to pay for my workers. That's going to pay for my establishment. That's going to pay for the organization, the programming, everything that we need. Somebody will invest. They will believe in your vision. So keep pushing.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

That's a fact. It brings me to we're going back to church right here.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

Faith with no works is this is dead. Definitely, man. We got the Miss Love Lee. Hug a child. Make a change herself. Really, uh, thank you for sharing your heart, your truth. Being your authentic self, I could tell, like, you're a rough, you're gonna ruffle a lot of feathers.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

I've been roughing them.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Been rough. See, see, firecracker.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

But I ain't giving up. I'm not trying to rough them on purpose. I just got a passion about what I'm doing. And when you're passionate and your heart is in it, you I am polishing myself. As I grow, I polish a little bit more and a little bit more to get what I need. Absolutely. Because I was coming off, you know, aggressive. It's not pat they didn't see the passion, they saw the aggression. Yeah. So I some I know.

unknown 47:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

We can relate to that. We definitely can relate.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

I've been through that. Um, and it just shows survivors that um that y'all are not alone for real. Y'all are not alone. Y'all got people who in the fight with y'all and for y'all. And and this is what this is about. You know what I've been through. Like for real, for real. Survivors, everybody, anybody who's somebody that goes through anything in life, I don't care if you're a celebrity even now. You've been through some shit. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 48:13

Nobody's mindful about that.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Nobody's mindful.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

And you're still going through stuff.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

Still going through it.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Everybody thinks they see you, it looks like glitter and gold, but every day you face obstacles. It's just how you deal with them.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Exactly. Man, we are so grateful for the impact that you're making across Chicago. Yes. Oh, for real, for real. And man, I just found a new best friend. Yay!

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Yes, she is my sister for a reason. Shalisha, thank you so much for just sharing your story. Yes, um, just sharing who you are. You are just a force to be reckoned with. Um, we are so, so grateful. And I'm hoping and I know that people have been touched um by your story today. Um, and I just want to know we we honor you. We are grateful for you and how you show up in this space for um for community. So we really, really appreciate you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Definitely. So I got some something came to me, like almost like a message. Speak on it. And it was um be the change that you want to see. Once you become the change that you want to see, you're gonna make a difference, you're gonna make a big impact, and you're gonna save lives that you never thought you could. So that's Georgie the Mentor.

SPEAKER_02 49:24

Love it.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

That's beautiful. Absolutely be the change. And um, I just want to encourage um everyone that is listening that um you are you are strong, you're resilient, you are worthy of healing, um, you are worthy of safety, you're worthy of support. And your story doesn't have to end in pain and trauma, it really ends in power. So just know that, embrace that, and keep your tribe, keep your keep your circle close, and um yeah, let's let's heal together on this journey.

SPEAKER_00 50:01

And with that being said, y'all, what you think you become, what you feel you attract, and what you imagine you create. We have this peak.