✨ Episode 5 - Whose Image Are You Reflecting? Integrity, Identity & Missing the Mark:

Hello beautiful ❤️ 

Have you ever felt like you've failed, questioned your purpose, or wondered whether God could still use you?

In this heartfelt episode of Handbags, Hankies & Hallelujah, I, Sian Gissing explores the powerful biblical themes of integrity, identity, boundaries and God's transforming grace.

Drawing on Psalm 145, Romans 7, Mark 12 and Matthew 9, I reflect on what it truly means to bear God's image, why Jesus is the perfect example of integrity, and how our greatest setbacks can become God's greatest classrooms.

Sharing my own journey of failing my Contract Law module twice before achieving a Distinction, I compares the Christian life to an apprentice archer learning to aim. Sometimes we miss the mark, but through God's grace, discipline, wisdom and daily surrender, we are refined and shaped to become more like Christ.

This week, I  also bring  my legal background into the conversation, exploring how healthy boundaries are much like contract law.

Every relationship has terms.

Our boundaries communicate what we will and won't accept.

Our "yes" represents what we freely agree to.

Our "no" is not rejection, it is a healthy boundary, and one that can be spoken without guilt, fear or shame.

Just as not every contract should be accepted, not every request, opinion or expectation should be accepted either.
Together we'll also take a deeper look at the biblical meaning of sin. Rather than simply seeing sin as wrongdoing, we'll explore the Greek word hamartia, meaning "to miss the mark," and how understanding this can transform the way we view failure, growth, discipleship and God's grace.

In this episode we explore:

🤍 What it means to be created in the image of God.

🎯 The biblical meaning of sin — hamartia ("to miss the mark").

⚖️ What contract law can teach us about healthy boundaries.

🤍 Why your "yes" should be yes and your "no" should be no.

⚔️ How discernment protects our peace and strengthens our relationships.

📖 Lessons from Psalm 145, Romans 7, Mark 12 and Matthew 9.

☕ The SIANISM Defrost — Meet with God before you meet the world.

🌿 How integrity, wisdom and daily surrender help us reflect Jesus more clearly.

Whether you're navigating relationships, rebuilding your confidence, learning to set healthy boundaries, or simply longing for peace in a chaotic world, this episode is an invitation to slow down, reflect and remember that God's grace meets us exactly where we are.

Remember...
🤍 You are valued.
🤍 You are seen.
🤍 You are heard.
🤍 And you are deeply loved by God.

Continue the journey:

📖 Weekly Bible Study Sunday on YouTube

🌐 www.siangissing.com

🎙️ More episodes of Handbags, Hankies & Hallelujah

📚 eBooks, journals and faith resources designed to help you grow in faith, peace and purpose.

If this episode encouraged you, please follow the podcast, leave a review and share it with someone who may need hope today.

Together, let's spread God's peace—one conversation at a time.

Love Sian 💕 xxx

#ChristianPodcast #BibleStudy #Faith #Jesus #Boundaries #HealthyBoundaries #ContractLaw #IdentityInChrist #Romans7 #Mark12 #Psalm145 #Matthew9 #Integrity #Grace #ChristianWomen #ChristianMen #Prayer #SpiritualGrowth #PersonalGrowth #HandbagsHankiesAndHallelujah #SianGissing

Thank you for spending this time with me on Handbags, Hankies & Hallelujah. ✨

May God bring calm to your heart, wisdom to your path, and peace to your spirit.🙏🏼💖🕊️

Connect with me: ✨

Instagram: @Sian.Gissing
Website: www.siangissing.com (coming soon)

✝️ If this episode brought you encouragement, peace, or insight, please follow the podcast and share it with another woman who may need it today.

Thank you for listening to Handbags, Hankies & Hallelujah — a space for healing, wisdom, and growing closer to God.

Transcript

00:00 - Welcome & Today's Question: Whose Image Are You Reflecting?

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to Handbags, Hankeys, and Hallelujah. This is episode five. Whose image are you reflecting? This week we're going to have a look at integrity, identity, and missing the mark. So hello and welcome to episode five. I'm Sean, and wherever you're joining me from today, whether you're driving, walking the dog, making dinner, folding laundry, sitting with a coffee, or perhaps you found this because your heart simply needed a little peace. Welcome. Let's take a deep breath. There is zero pressure here, no judgment, just two people spending a little time together. Today's episode has been growing in my heart all week after church and after recording my very first Bible study, which is on YouTube. The question is really simple. Whose image are we reflecting? Not what title we have, not how many followers we have, not how successful we appear, but whose character is

01:44 - The World Builds an Image vs God's Image

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reflected through our thoughts, our words, and our actions. So let's have a look at how the world builds an image. The world spends so much time teaching us how to build an image, how to look successful, how to look confident, how to look perfect, how to look happy. How are you going to build that brand? How do you build a following? How do you build influence? Yet Jesus asks us a completely different question. In Mark chapter twelve, he holds up a coin and he does ask, Whose image is on this? They answer Caesar's. So in response to this, Jesus replies, Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. So in theory, the coin belonged to Caesar because it carried Caesar's image. But what about us? In Genesis, it tells us we were created in the image of God. As followers of Christ, our lives are gradually being transformed to reflect Jesus. So that really changes everything. When we look at integrity, and this week, when I was listening to my priest, he shared a quote from Dwight Eisenhower where he said, the supreme quality of a leader is unquestionable integrity. And then he paused and he said, only Jesus was and is completely perfect in integrity. And that really stayed with me. Integrity is not actually pretending we're perfect because we're not.

04:00 - Integrity: Your Yes Be Yes & Your No Be No

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Integrity is becoming the same person in private that we share in public. It means our words match our actions. Our yes is a yes, and our no is a no. And it means to live it consistently, not because people are watching, but because we actually choose to belong to Christ. And this week I discovered something really beautiful. I was looking at the word sin. And the word sin is quite a heavy word. It can bring up feelings of shame, guilt, fear, avoidance. So I really wanted to look at the history of the word sin in itself. And me being a woman that loves words. What is the root of the word sin? And it actually has a Greek meaning. Her mate hammer ratia. I hope I'm saying that right. Correct me if I'm not. Which is try translated as sin. And it literally means the idea of missing the mark. Immediately I thought of archery. I love a metaphor because it helps me break words down and be able to have a complete understanding of them. So when I was looking at the word of hammer ratia, the Greek word of sin, and that meaning missing the mark, it did take me to the thought of archery. So imagine this. Imagine someone learning to shoot a bow for the first time. If you've been there yourself, you may have pulled back the string and released the arrow and it goes absolutely everywhere. So arrows don't reach the target the first time we go to pull, the first time we go to release. Some fly miles wide and we completely miss the mark altogether.

06:30 - Word Study: Sin (Hamartia) – "Missing the Mark"

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Would we let that apprentice archer say that they're hopeless? Would we say we're hopeless about ourselves if we tried archery for the first time? No. I think we would encourage them to keep learning. We would use humor. We would receive instruction to practice, to be patient, to become disciplined. And over time we would become steadier, more consistent, more accurate. We would become better archers. We would have more precision at hitting that mark. And that image immediately took me back to my own life because I really enjoyed doing that. I love reading Bible verses and applying it to my own life. As many as you know, I've studied law. And what many people don't know is I failed contract law and that module not once but twice. Twice I failed. And at the time I felt like a failure. I questioned myself. I definitely wanted to quit. And I wanted to stay where it felt comfortable. But looking back, I realized I hadn't actually failed as a person. I was simply missing that mark. Every assignment came back with feedback. And at the time I hated it. Every mistake sharpened my understanding. Every setback refined me. Which then reminds me of the blacksmith. The raw iron, which is us, goes into that furnace. We are the raw iron because sometimes we don't have boundaries, we don't know what our boundaries are, we're undisciplined. No one's taught us the tools that we need to be the best version of ourselves. So, like the blacksmith, us being the raw iron, we get

08:40 - The Apprentice Archer 🎯

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put into the furnace, and that fire is uncomfortable. The hammer hurts. But the purpose isn't actually destruction, it is refinement. Iron becomes steel, a blunt blade becomes sharp. Eventually, I resat that model, the contract law module. And I finished with the distinction. Not because the journey was easy, but because I had grown, I had been refined. And spiritually, I think that's such a beautiful picture of discipline ship. We all miss the mark. Every single one of us. Romans chapter 7 says exactly that. When Paul says, The good that I want to do, I don't do. How many of us can actually relate to that? We all miss that mark. Therefore, we can all be labeled sinners. The difference is, though, for me, and I want to offer this to you, is God doesn't abandon us because we actually missed. He actually teaches us, he consistently forgives us, and he patiently shapes us up, and he sharpens us. Just like an experienced archer learns to read the wind before releasing the arrow, we begin to learn what affects our own walk with Christ. Does fear affect our walk with Christ? Does pride, does people pleasing, does bitterness, unforgiveness, distraction, chaos? When we begin to let those things go, our discernment becomes sharper, our boundaries become stronger, our ability to communicate those boundaries become powerful. Our yes becomes a yes. Our no becomes a no. Not because we've become perfect, but because we're becoming more like Jesus. The Christian life is not about never missing the mark, it's about returning to the master teacher every single day and allowing him to refine our aim.

11:20 - My Contract Law Journey: Failing Twice & Finding Purpose

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So that brings me on to this week and the previous week, I was talking about shanisms and defrosting. One of my favorite shanisms is the word defrost, which I was sharing across my social media. Before we meet the world, let's meet with God. Let's have a coffee, let's open our Bible, let's sit quietly, let's pray. Let's allow our nervous system to settle. Because whatever fills us first usually flows out of us later. So in the mornings, I like to defrost, which means that's my boundary. I start my mornings with zero interruption, and I hold that boundary for myself. I carve out that space, I enter into peace, I allow room for God. And that's my moment to set the intention for my day. That's me being the archer to be the arrow of precision. So my day I'm able to execute to the best of my ability. I have to defrost. Another shanism you've probably heard me say recently is your yes is a yes, and your no is a no. Healthy boundaries aren't selfish, and this is what I'm really trying to help offer you, the listener. It takes years to understand what your boundaries actually are, and it takes even more time to have the confidence and the courage to express those boundaries and start to communicate the word no without fear, without shame, without guilt. Boundaries being communicated is an act of kindness to oneself. By saying no outwardly, we're saying yes to our own needs, to our own voice. So healthy boundaries are not selfish, they are stewardship, they are integrity, they are consistency for ourselves. Not everyone gets access to your time, to your energy, to your heart, to your generosity. It's about having the discernment to know if someone's ready to meet you in this space where you are, where

14:15: - Romans 7: We All Miss the Mark

SPEAKER_00 14:14

they're not going to harm you, they're not going to take advantage of you, they're not going to manipulate or attempt to control you. Not everybody walks the path that Christ asks us to walk. Not everybody is going to have the discernment or the intention or integrity for the yes to be a yes and the no to be a known. And when we come across those people and they want to cross that boundary, that's where the harm can occur. It's very much like a contract. Two parties set out the terms, they read the terms, they understand the terms, they agree to the terms. That's very much like relationships. Your boundaries are your terms, their boundaries are their terms. Do both sets of boundaries create alignment, peace, a mutual consensual understanding of how both of you are going to operate with your words, deeds, and actions. And if there's no alignment, the contract can't be fulfilled with integrity. So therefore, the terms need to be arranged, rearranged, rediscussed, or walked away from. Not every offer in contract law needs to be accepted. There needs to be consideration. Again, very much like a relationship. What are that person's terms? How do they operate? Are you willing to consent to those terms? Or do you need to change them? Or do you need to reject the offer altogether to make sure no harm,

16:20: - Reading the Wind: Discernment, Boundaries & Spiritual Growth

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injury, loss, or suffering comes to you? These are boundaries. This is the glory of a boundary. This is the protection and safety of being able to communicate those boundaries. Exactly like the archer, reading the environment, reading the wind. What's going to interfere in me hitting the target? We take this back to sin. Sin means to miss the target, miss the mark. And it's okay to do so. When we miss the mark, there is a lesson to be learned. When we miss the target, there is a calling on our name to be better people. When we miss the mark, there is a calling to step in our own greatness, to learn more, to grow more, to sharpen more. Many of us fear the pain and suffering because it's so uncomfortable. And when we learn to get comfortable in the unknown, when we learn to use our eyes and ears to go, okay, God, you are teaching me something, you are sharpening me up. That's where the gift is in the pain. I would not be the person I am today without the pain and suffering. Have I liked it in the moment? Absolutely not. Did I take it to God in anger and frustration of why me? Yes, I did. But in hindsight, the gift I want to give to you is this. Only when I let go and let God, only when I was prepared to be sharpened and to be taught, did I become better? Only when I was willing to look at my own mistakes and the my own journey of where I've completely missed the mark, just like the beginner archer, the arrows were everywhere.

18:45: - SIANISM: Defrost ☕🙏

SPEAKER_00 18:45

And I mean absolutely everywhere. Some of those arrows missing the mark hurt people. Because I was naive, I was untrained, I was undisciplined, I was unknowing. I thought I knew it all. And I had to have the willingness to be sharp, to be precise, to operate with precision in my words, my actions, and my deeds by understanding my yes is a yes, which meant, am I truly wanting to say yes to this, or do I feel in my gut, my body, my tongue wants to say the yes, but my body is screaming no? I had to learn to get uncomfortable with saying no, that doesn't work for me. Respectfully, it's a no from me. And as I got more and more comfortable with honoring the truth inside of myself, aligning my words on my tongue with the feelings in my body, I became sharper, I became more confident. Eventually, I became a master archer

20:15: - Healthy Boundaries & Stewardship

SPEAKER_00 20:14

at hitting that mark because I learned to listen to God, to let go, to give it to God. Not every battle is for me to fight. And I invite these words as an offering to you that no matter where you are on your journey, you could be suffering from health, which means you've got to hit that mark to be healthy again. So, what is that going to take? Break that down. Do I need a better diet? Do I need less stress? Do I need less burden upon me so I can have the space and time to heal fully? Do I need to forgive myself or forgive others? If you're in a relationship where there's suffering, to break it down, where are those boundaries being crossed? Where have I said yes when I've honestly lied and it should have been a no? Where have I consented to something that I actually truly didn't want to consent to? Where have I agreed to the person's terms? Where those terms truly at the time did not work for me, but I was too afraid to speak upon the truth. I was too afraid to be rejected in love by saying this is what I need, and that's not gonna work for me. Where do we need to do self-course correction? What have we consented to that

21:51: - Contract Law & Relationships ⚖️

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we now need to unconsent to? Because that's when relationships get healthier, that's where. You thrive more when you understand what your own terms are, what your own boundaries are, and having the bravery and courage to speak upon it, and not settling for anything less than you are worthy of out of fear of rejection or fear of loneliness or fear of not being good enough. I am here to tell you a truth, a whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me, God. You are worthy. You have to see your own worth to be able to communicate it to someone else. You have to understand your own boundaries in order to be able to communicate them. You have to fall in love with yourself so you know not to settle for anything less than God calls you to step into. It could be in work, your career, your business. Where are you saying yes when you really want to say no? If you don't want to be in that job, leave. Have faith. Reach for something better. Tell yourself you deserve better. Stop consenting to things that cause you pain and suffering and harm, believing that you have no other option because you do. And how do I know this? Because I've walked the path myself. When I was rejected in love, I walked away and I started to sit with myself and go, what do I actually want? And I didn't allow it in until that person before me could meet me at that level and agree to the terms I had set for myself. I wasn't unhappy in a work environment. I created my own business. I became my own boss. I had health issues, so I had to learn to be better at eating and exercising. I had failed relationships, so I had to walk away from what was causing me harm. I failed in my education, so I had to sit down and become disciplined and read and resit. I allowed Jesus to reshape me. I never asked, Am I perfect enough?

24:44: - Stop Negotiating Against Yourself

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I was asking Jesus to help me. Help me become a little kinder, a little more patient, a little more peaceful, quicker to forgive, slower to judge. I asked that of Jesus. That's where the growth came from. That's the discipline and that's the grace. As always, please take what resonates and leave what does not. I just offer these words to you today to inspire you, to empower you, to grab hold of your life again, to become the master archer, to become that arrow of precision and sharpness. If anything I've said today resonates with you, please do leave me a message. And on that note, I invite you to sit with me in a closing prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you that when we miss the mark, you do not walk away from us. Thank you for your patience, your mercy, and your grace. Thank you that you continue to shape us, you continue to teach us and refine us to become more like your Son. Help us to reflect Christ in our thoughts, in our words, in our actions and in our deeds. We ask you to sharpen our discernment, you strengthen our integrity, and you teach us to walk in truth and love without shame, without guilt, without fear. We ask

26:49: -Reflection: Becoming More Like Christ

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our Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ to remind us that our identity is not found in the world's approval, but it is being in you as your beloved child. Your plan for us and your calling on our name. Please pull us up into your greatest calling for us so we may be the best versions and representatives of you. And may everything we do bring glory to you. May every word we speak, every action

27:43: - Closing Prayer 🙏

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and decision we make this week bring your glory, shine your light into this world. In Jesus Christ's name. Thank you for all you do for us. Amen. Thank you for spending time with me. I appreciate every single one of you that listens to this podcast. It's Sunday, I'm sat at my dining room table in my velvet dressing gown. And I love doing this for you. So if today's episode has encouraged you, I'd absolutely love you to share it with someone who may need to hear it. You can also find my weekly Bible study on YouTube,

28:38: -Final Blessing & Goodbye

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together with my free prayer resources and my ebooks. Until next time, I'd like to leave you with this. Remember, you are valued. You are seen, you are heard, you are wanted, you are loved, and above all, you are deeply loved by God. So take care of yourself, and may the peace of Christ guide your heart and mind this week. God bless and goodbye for now.