Crave To Connect | Building Better Relationships

Cringeworthy Moments on Dates | Crave To Connect | Ep17

• Karina and Michael • Season 1 • Episode 17

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0:00 | 39:21

Crave To Connect is a candid, honest, and sometimes hilarious conversation about the messy realities of relationships.Hosted by Karina Paxton, a certified clinical EFT practitioner, and a trauma informed coach, and...

Michael Calderon, a licensed clinical social worker (LSCW) and a licensed clinical alcohol and drug counselor (LCADC) specializing in mental health, addiction, and relationship dynamics

The goal is simple: Real conversations about real life and real real relationships.

With their unique backgrounds in trauma recovery, therapy, and emotional healing, Karina and Michael bring two different perspectives to topics like toxic relationships, healing, personal growth, and understanding human behavior. 

Expect relaxed conversations, unexpected insights, and the occasional awkward moment, because that’s what real conversations look like.

Pull up a chair, get comfortable, and join the conversation.


To get in touch:

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https://www.instagram.com/liveyourlife.coach?igsh=dHJpcm1zZmQ3c3Ex&utm_source=qr

Website:

https://linktr.ee/liveyourlife.coach

Book a Call:

https://calendly.com/liveyourlife-coach/30-minute-discovery-call-helena-guest

Michael Calderon:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/michael-calderon-hackettstown-nj/1044394


SPEAKER_03

Welcome to Crave to Connect with your host Karina, the recovering men hater, and Mike, the former emotionally unavailable therapist. Sit back, get comfortable, and relax. Our whole vibe with this podcast is to casually dive into all the messy, hilarious, and sometimes confusing parts of relationships. Whether it's with yourself, all the humans, no pressure, just good chats, and maybe some awkward moments. Welcome to Crave to Connect. Today we are going to talk about cringe, worthy moments on a date.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, on dates that we've had primarily. We'd love to hear your comments also about some of the cringiest dates you've been on or mishaps that have happened during your dates. That's what we're going to talk about.

SPEAKER_03

And just something we can laugh about now, like in the moment that just didn't feel really funny or was embarrassing, or you're like, oh my God, like I wish I could just like run home or something, right? But now we can laugh about it. And I think it's just so you and I do such a good job with that. We always we have a really we have an easy time, I feel like, laughing at ourselves and also each other, right? In like a supportive way. And um, so we would just like let's let's just share like um moments that have happened in dating, right? Like we both have stories, excuse me. Yeah, we have some of our own stories together, some of our own stories, and um, and I thought maybe you guys would just find that a little funny.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. So um so should we start with something that happened between us or something like that?

SPEAKER_03

Let's talk about our date.

SPEAKER_00

All right. Well, I'm guessing that whatever happened was likely something I did, so I'm gonna defer to you.

SPEAKER_03

Something you did, no. How you so okay, so our first date was we um you asked me out first, right? And then you said to me, What do you want to do?

SPEAKER_00

And I Well, I said, Do you want me to plan it or do you have something you want to do?

SPEAKER_03

And that's right.

SPEAKER_00

I was already with a plan, and she comes in with her own plan.

SPEAKER_03

And I was like, hell no. I mean, I had not been on a date in seven years. And I just thought more than that, probably.

SPEAKER_00

You are married, right?

SPEAKER_03

Very true.

SPEAKER_00

Seven years ago.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, billion years. Yeah, I did not go on dates in my marriage very much. No, that's a really good point. But I um I had just listened to this podcast about like it was like a dating coach, whatever, that talked about, you know, don't go out on these like horrible, awkward dates where you just you sit across each other at a table and it's like an interview, and you know, you might have your own list and you cross it off mentally. He's like, don't do that. Like, go out and do something that's fun and and lighter and that you feel a little uncomfortable with that.

SPEAKER_00

You could see, you could yeah, and and it's a good idea, really. You can see how they handle these things, right?

SPEAKER_03

Right. Like, don't just do the safe, and what if you can't stand a person? You're gonna sit there and share a whole meal. Like, that's just horrible, right? So, so when you asked me out, I was like, as soon as you said it, I was like, bowling, which is so weird because I'm not a good bowler.

SPEAKER_00

Me neither.

SPEAKER_03

And well, that was good, you weren't either. But I had just gone bowling with a friend of mine that came to visit and put our daughter, and we had a good time. And I did have a locky street, I have to say. I literally I think I got like three strikes in a row, which turkey, which has turkey, which has never happened since. So I wasn't really expecting that to happen, but I just thought it's good, it'll be a little uncomfortable, a little awkward, right? And but it's like it's also playful. I want to do something beautiful, right? So that's what we decided to do, and you were cool with it. You were like, sure, yeah. Like, and then you said to me, You any good? And I go, No, I'm I'm terrible. And you go, Me too. I said, Great, we're gonna have a great time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03

We're gonna have a great time. So we met there. You asked me, right? Like, I think you forgot. I forgot if you asked me, like, if you wanted if you wanted to meet there, do you want to meet there?

SPEAKER_00

No, I think we uh I think we decided I think I just said you want to meet there, and you said yes. And I figured you would say that.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00

Because we live very close to each other, which I think we've said before.

SPEAKER_03

So but I'm like, no, you're not gonna come get me already. So so we're so we met there, right? And um, and you were there early for once, right? That's the first time you've ever been really. And I was like five minutes late, and you texted me and you said, Are you here? Are you here yet? Something like that. And I was like, Oh my god, like he's on time, shit.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's rare.

SPEAKER_03

And then I walked in and you were there, and I think I hugged you. I was like, Hi. And but it was like a little like, what do you do? Like, do you hug, do you shake hands? Like this was the first time we've we had seen each other once prior at my friend's opening, right, at her studio.

SPEAKER_00

Right, and I met you at the at the the lemonade stand. So we met there and then we spent a little time at a like networking thing.

SPEAKER_03

Right. But that was like the first time like you and I really just met, right? It's like, what what do you do? So that's awkward too. It's like, do you wait, do you shake it?

SPEAKER_00

And I thought I was in a friend zone when I was there.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, do you shake hands? Do you hug? Do you just go hey? Like, what do you what do you do? Like right.

SPEAKER_00

I was thinking you were gonna just say hey, so the hug was nice.

SPEAKER_03

I know I hugged you, yeah. And then we got our shoes, right? And it's like it's like it's uncomfortable, it's in the air, it's like I don't know you, you know me. Like, how is this gonna be, right? And then we put our shoes on, and we walked over to a bowling lane, and and then the whole weirdness of like what name, what games are we gonna choose, and what names are we gonna put in? But it's it's confusing, like it's not, it's not straight, it's not straightforward, right? But then so then we put our names in and we started, and and luckily you were as as bad as I was. I think I won the first game not by much. I don't remember, and I think you won you won the second game. But then do you want to share what happened?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. So, and I may have mentioned this, I think, on our very first podcast, but um, so as we're bowling, I I I think it was sometime during the second game, I I pulled my ass. And uh my and I'm like, are you kidding me? Like, I I couldn't really like you know, I was having trouble bending over all the way because it was stretching that that muscle out, something was strained. And uh and I'm walking kind of funny, and I'm like, oh, she's definitely gonna, and I think I I don't know if you'd noticed, but I'm like, I pulled my ass muscles.

SPEAKER_03

And you're like, I didn't know, I didn't know that. So when I was watching you, I thought it was like a little because it happened like right when you like almost like squatted down, right? To like to like throw the ball. And I was like, is that like I thought it was like a little move, like a little dance move or something. Yeah, no, I couldn't tell. And then you stood up, and did you tell me there that you like?

SPEAKER_00

No, I think I waited a couple of frames, and then I don't think you told me right now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, and I was like, Oh, I thought it was a dance dance move, but I'm like, that's good. Like, that was sure awkward for you, but it was like funny. It was something that we could we could like giggle about.

SPEAKER_00

It was more like a strained ass muscle because I felt better the next day, so but that night it hurt.

SPEAKER_03

That was not good. No, like the what happens just by bowling, yeah. And then another awkward moment for sure, and I have no recollection of this, but I'm sure I'm sure that what happened is true when we talked about age, right? That was a little awkward, too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, she she asked me uh how how old I was, and I said, uh I said, well, I said, you know, most people think I'm younger than I am, and uh I look younger than I am. Yeah, I look younger than I am, and I said I'm I'm 53. She goes, nah, you look your age. And I'm like sitting there thinking to myself, horrible. She's testing me. She wants to see how I respond to this. A I knew you were married to a narcissist because you had told me, but also, you know, women test guys, at least that's been my experience. I'm like, she's testing me. She wants to see if she can knock me off balance. Am I gonna get offended? How am I gonna handle this? So I was and and I thought it was funny. I laughed without even thinking about it. But then after I laughed, I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, that's weird, you know. Usually people lie, and I'm like, she's testing me. So I'm like, that's all right, she can test me.

SPEAKER_03

I have no, I just that's how I blacked out. I had no recollection that that came out of my mouth. And uh, and thankfully you didn't get offended and you weren't like, oh my, she's such a bitch. How could she say that to me right now? That's so when you told me that, I was like, this is horrible. I can't believe like you still we're still talking about it. We still laugh about it. Yeah, we still laugh about it. That's awkward, but that just shows like that's your your sense of humor and that you don't take yourself too.

SPEAKER_00

And she tells me I look younger than my age now. She goes, 'Cause you look 53 and now you're 54.

SPEAKER_03

That's right. So here we go.

SPEAKER_00

And then the last awkward part of the date was that at the end I walked you to your car, and I just kind of followed my instincts. But um, you know, I I actually gave you a peck on the lips, which you kissed me back. And as I learned more about you, I'm surprised you did that, you know, because I didn't know all that yet. But with all, you know, is you because you had not hadn't told me that, you know, you're like, oh, I got divorced seven years ago. You told me later, and I have been on a date, you know, uh, in since before my you know my husband's last date I went on, and I was like, Oh wow, I was a little surprised that you gave me a little kiss back.

SPEAKER_03

But that's so awkward too, isn't it? It's like it's your first date, and we had a great time, right? We talked, we ended up eating there, we ended up saying, because I was like, I was just I wanted to keep this so simple, and you're like, Do you want to eat first? And I said, No, let's just go bowling. But they did have food there, actually, surprisingly good food.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I'm like, Oh, she wants to get in and out. Like, that was my thought. Like, she wants to get it. She really no, she first of all, she's I don't know if she really wants to go all that much, but in case I suck, she wants to get out.

SPEAKER_03

She went, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00

So she's like, I'm not doing dinner.

SPEAKER_03

No, she's not gonna do dinner, and then my daughter, FaceTime, right, in the middle of our FaceTime?

SPEAKER_00

I didn't know because you walked away. Right.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm like, I have to go out and take this. And she was having a meltdown, right? A meltdown, and she was having a very challenging time at her father's. That was like a period where she was just super attached to me, and and uh so I had to try to console her in a parking lot as you were inside, right, waiting for me, and and uh and just me trying to stay regulated and console her and then be like, How long was I out here for? And then come in, right? And I came back in, and I and I told her the truth. I was like, that was my daughter, and she's having a hard time.

SPEAKER_01

And I figured it was.

SPEAKER_03

And you were so you were so cool with that too, right? But it's just when you don't know somebody, all those little moments where you're like, How am I gonna have but again? I just showed up as me and you showed up as you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03

And then when we walked out to the car, I remember it was it was chilly, it was uh Labor Day, but it was chilly, and I didn't have a jacket, and you had a jacket, and you're like, here, and you put that over my shoulder, and I was like, That's so nice. And all I remember was I do remember you like just very lightly, right? Yeah, very lightly, yeah. I do remember I was like, Oh, and that, but then that was it, right? Like there was you you weren't trying for more. No, it was just like that's what it was, and I was like, Oh.

SPEAKER_00

It like I said, I went with what I was feeling. Um also it was like, although I had a a good time, there it was like like I couldn't tell if you once we ate, I felt like you you might have liked me, and there might be a second date. But prior to that, I really couldn't tell. We were having fun, but how many times do you have fun? And you're like, Yeah, sure, I don't want to go out with that person again.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And you know, and during the time, I remember thinking to myself, the one thing that I kept, I'm like, damn, she's got a nice ass. And she was bowling. I was definitely thinking that. And I was, you know, and and I was intrigued when we met at the Lemonade stand, and I continued to be intrigued, but it felt was a little it it didn't flow super comfortably. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't comfortable. No, it was hard to get a gauge of it.

SPEAKER_03

I I think too, because we did so many things, right? We would bowl and we would eat, and then I got the phone call. Like it was really sort of chugged up, right?

SPEAKER_00

But you were also, I mean, you you were not sure. And I think I was picking up on that, and you know, so it was like usually you can kind of it's like an it. If you want an interview, you could tell if you're gonna get another interview. I wasn't sure I was any, and then get another date, and then we were talking. I I think I even said, Oh, well, on our next date, and you said yeah, and I'm like, something about our next date, and I'm like, Oh, okay, cool. And so that brings us to our next date, which was interesting because um we had a it was a very nice date, but when we were going, uh we were going to this little place. Uh, I didn't tell her. I said, so I could tell you where we're going, I could surprise you. And she said, Surprise, I love surprises. I said, Okay, but then you either have to come to my house or I'm gonna have you're gonna have to tell me where you live and I have to come to your house. And I didn't think she was ready for me to know where she lived yet. She says, I'll come to your house. I said, Okay. So we're I'm driving there, and you had to go through it's in this place called Poxamacus, and anybody familiar with this area is in Bud Lake, but in Bud Lake, there's you know, back where Poxamacus is, there's a lot of little tiny dirt, very dark roads with really no street lights, right? And so as I'm driving through, and uh, even though I grew up in that town, I did not know back there that well. So I'm kind of, you know, I have the GPS on, but she's not realizing that just to make sure I get there right, and we're hitting these little, she goes, You're not gonna take me in the woods and kill me, are you? I said I said, not on our second date. No, I don't think I said that. I was thinking that I didn't want I didn't know if you'd find that funny, but I'm thinking not on our second date.

SPEAKER_03

So we were driving you know on the road, and all of a sudden you turn off to the right, and all I see is just houses and it's pitch black, and there's just like like gravel stones. And I'm like, what are we like he's driving me into the woods? I'm like, what the hell is he doing? And I wanted to be surprised. So I'm like, should I do I am I gonna seem like a crazy, like anxious person by being like, where are you taking me? But I I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. So I was like, I was like, please don't kill me. I have a child. I said, please don't kill me, I have a child. And it was also joking, I really didn't think you were gonna kill me. And then you said, no, no, no, not on the second date. I was like, perfect. And then we get to the end of this gravel, and I and I'm still thinking, I don't know. What are we gonna have a picnic in the dark? I was like, where is he taking me? And then all of a sudden we come, we come to the end of the road and this beautiful castle is there, and I knew exactly where we were, and it was a theater because I took my daughter there to want to play when uh children's play. Probably during the day, yeah, during the day, and she was, you know, it was like a year or two ago, but I remembered it, and I was like, Oh, we're gonna see you play. So that was that was like super exciting, right? But th those moments, like you don't know each other yet, right? And even come into your house, like even like getting dressed, what do you wear, right? And oh yeah, for sure. And at this point, too, it was like I wasn't sure what this was. I I definitely enjoyed our conversations.

SPEAKER_00

I like even bowling. I'm like, What what do you wear on a first aid bowling?

SPEAKER_03

I know.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't know what to wear, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Especially when you never go on dates. Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_00

And when you were in I was like, I wore like pants that are kind of like jeans, but kind of like pants.

SPEAKER_03

They were good pants, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I remember and you had on jeans, and I'm like, oh, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03

You know, like just that is and especially when you're a middle-aged woman, you have not been out a million years, you're a single mother, you're like, What the what do I wear? I don't know. And you wanna you want to dress up a little, but you don't want to dress up too much, especially going bowling, right?

SPEAKER_00

Reveal too much, I guess. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03

Reveal too much, and it's just all those things are awkward. Then me driving to your house and um four minutes away, right? And parking and like ringing your doorbell, like all those moments, it's just like, what am I gonna walk into? And like, like, is this gonna be what are we gonna do in his apartment? Is this gonna be weird? Did I should I not have gone to his apartment? Like, it's just all those little things, right?

SPEAKER_02

I got to meet my cats.

SPEAKER_03

I got to meet your cats. Yeah, they all came out, and you were like, they're not all gonna come out, but they did, right? Yeah, and just right, sitting on your couch and like having a little small talk before we had to leave, because I got there early and maybe on time or whatever, and then we had to leave so just all these little moments that leads up to that. It's like stay in your body, just be yourself, and right, let's just talk or whatever. And then as we were sitting when the play started, you put your hand right on my on my leg.

SPEAKER_00

I did, yeah, right? Yeah, I you know, just to well, it felt like there was some intimacy happening, right? Like you seem to I was definitely getting the impression that we were in the beginning stages of liking each other. So I just, you know, wanted to to touch you to see how you responded, but to you know, create a little bit more intimacy, see if you were comfortable with that, you know. It wasn't like you know, trying to do anything sexually other than just trying to create a little touch. So I think I put my my hand, you know, by your knee, right? Up here on your upper thigh. And it's you know, just lightly, you know, um, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03

And I remember just looking down, I was like, he put his hand on my leg. Like my brain was like, What do you do? And I'm like, Oh, I should just hold his hand.

SPEAKER_00

And that's what we did.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I did. So I took your hand and we held hands, right? Yeah, but it's just all these little things in the beginning. It's like, what in the world do you do? Right. And it's just I think both we both just like followed our instincts, and we were both just like, okay, like let's just right, we're just gonna do what feels right.

SPEAKER_00

And that was the turning point for us, I think. That that that and then, you know, um, and then I think our next date was at the Panther Pub, which is a local bar restaurant right by us, and then that was during the day, and that was a day date. That was a day date, right? I uh we used to be able to get together on Tuesdays during the day, and um that's where we had our first kiss. And that was interesting because I was kind of feeling it, but and I wanted to kind of stand up and just kiss you at the table at one point after we ate, and but I was like, well, I'll just walk her to her car, but I'm I think I'm gonna kiss her. I'm feeling it, it feels like we're at that spot. I really want to, I want to see what it's like, and then while we're sitting at the table, you kissed me.

SPEAKER_03

I did, yeah, I did. I don't know where that came from. There was just something that came over me, and I was like, I just like mid-sentence, I think you were talking, and I just leaned over and you met me and we kissed, and I was like, I can't believe I did that. Yeah, and you were like, I wanted to kiss you too. But like that could have been awkward. What if like you didn't understand what I was doing or whatever? I didn't think you were not gonna kiss me, to be honest. I thought for sure you would kiss me. So I wasn't I wasn't nervous about that. But yeah, it could have been weird, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Well, my I I was uh years and years ago in my early 20s. I I don't remember, but I was with this girl in my car, and you know, funny thing about a first kiss, and I I lean in, you know, felt like I leaned in for a kiss. She actually put her hand on my face and told me, no, we're not doing that. She put her hand over like she didn't just put her hand up, she put it on my face and pushed my head back.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You got shut down.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, talk about an awkward moment on a date.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. Well, at least you knew, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I definitely knew.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I just think like there are millions of of those awkward moments. And and I just remember when I was single for so long, like hearing about moments like that from friends and reading about them, right? Like all these mom groups I was part of. I was like, this is so horrible. It's like beyond cringe worthy. I'm like, there's no way in hell I'm ever gonna put myself out like that, right? Because it just feels it feels and sounds just absolutely horrific.

SPEAKER_00

And sometimes things happen you can't help, you know.

SPEAKER_03

No, you can't help. Do you want to tell your story? That was a really funny story you started to tell you.

SPEAKER_00

So I I was 17 or 18. Um I think I was a senior in high school, and I I was driving, I drove uh, it was my mom's and then my dad's and and then mine, and I was driving a 1984 powder blue Toyota Corolla, and uh it had a ring problem with the oil, so it would like leak, which would cause it to sometimes hesitate, especially on left turns, which is dangerous when you're crossing the highway. Yeah, but uh so this girl, I I don't know, I guess I had asked her out, she never really answered. I said, So you want she goes, yeah, sure, you know, whatever went on, whatever. I pick her up. It's obvious that like I wasn't her first option. She's wearing these like white, uh, I don't know what they're, you know, back then they didn't call it, they didn't have leggings, but they were kind of like that. And um, you know, like kind of stretchy type of pants, and she was wearing a a Dan Marino football jersey, that aqua green dolphins jersey. And I'm like, even I'm like, a girl who really wants to make an impression, I is not gonna wear a football jersey on it.

SPEAKER_03

It's rolled out a bit, it looked like yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So she wanted to go to Dunkin' Donuts for some coffee, and I said, Oh, so we did. And uh as we're pulling out my awesome car, I'm trying to cross the road, Route 10, and it stalled, doesn't stall like the motor stop, but it it hesitates big time. And I put the pedal down and then it kicked in and it dumped her coffee in her, she was wearing white pants, the coffee dumped in her lap all over her white pants. Oh my god. Needless to say, that was our last date.

SPEAKER_03

Did you drive her home right after?

SPEAKER_00

I don't remember. I assume I did. I assume that was the end of the date. I think so. Oh my god. I think we ended the date. I'm like, you want to change? She goes, No, I think I'll just go in. I'm pretty sure that's how it works. And uh yeah, that was and I'm and and like I was really attracted to this girl, like you know, so even though she was, I was like, Oh, I gotta get this girl interested. I'm I was very attracted to her. Yeah, and I definitely did not increase the attractive quotient.

SPEAKER_03

No, nobody wants that.

SPEAKER_00

In fact, I killed it. Nobody wants that on their pants, and uh yeah, that happened.

SPEAKER_03

So on their pants. You seem to have her thing with Ligwarts and pants.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, so right. Well, you want to tell the story about our date?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, let's do it while we at it. So this was this obviously.

SPEAKER_00

Our Valentine's Day gift to each other.

SPEAKER_03

Right. So six months into dating, I think, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yep, in March. Was in March. And uh we decided I had we decided we're gonna go to Broadway together, we're gonna split the costs. I ended up picking up all the costs, I'll explain why. Just to make up. So we get to Bryant Park, we have a little time to kill, and we decide if we get some wine, sit down. It was a it was cold, but a nice day.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

And Karina had on these really cool white pants that she's told me even before we're one of a kind, can't get them again.

SPEAKER_03

From a boutique.

SPEAKER_00

From a boutique, somewhere, and um she looked great. And we sit down and I like red wine, and we're talking, and I go to grab my wine, and I hit it and spilled it all over her lap.

SPEAKER_03

All over my lap.

SPEAKER_00

And so red wine on these white, what we thought were suede pants. Right. Thank God it turned out they weren't.

SPEAKER_03

They weren't expensive suede pants.

SPEAKER_00

They were supposed to look suede, they were spandex and something else, which I found out when I brought that dry cleaner.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and so then we had to, I tried to get it out. She's just like, and she's like almost in shock, and I'm like, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. And she doesn't say anything. I'm like, oh, this is bad. Like, what could have been a perfect date is just a fiasco. I'm like, I let's go, we gotta find a place. I'll buy you new pants and uh found some place Sarah. Across the street.

SPEAKER_03

So so I just want to set, I just want to set the stage. So when this happened, I think I think did we have maybe we had one sip each, right?

SPEAKER_00

Because we said cheers and one sip before we even sat down, and then we sat down.

SPEAKER_03

And then that was that. So this wine gets just, and of course it has to be right on my lap. It couldn't be anywhere else. At least it was just the pants because I was also wearing a white shirt, I think. Yeah, I think so too. Button-down shirt, that would have been disaster and a blazer white in my pants, all over. And I just remember I just kept looking at it, and I was like, no, like this can't it like it's like a bad movie, right? You look down, you go, no, no, no, this is not happening. This is a joke.

SPEAKER_00

This is and I'm thinking to myself, what this can't be happening too.

SPEAKER_03

Like, and then your face, you were like, Oh my god, and then you ran to the bartender and you got a rag and you're gonna go.

SPEAKER_00

But seltzer, right?

SPEAKER_03

Seltzer all over trying to and then and then there was a couple sitting right behind us, and both of them were like, Oh my god. And the woman had seltzer and she gave it to me. She's like, Here, use this. But it was an I mean, and you tried the best you could, but it was all over my pants. There was no way that was ever gonna get off. And then the woman says, There's a Sarah right across the street, go get pants. You need to go get pants. And then once you had scrub for a while, I was like, nothing is this is not.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like, whatever you want. And she had like three pairs. I go buy them all if you want.

SPEAKER_03

And by this point, I was just I was dribbing wet with with wine and the thing.

SPEAKER_00

And then jumping ahead to Sarah.

SPEAKER_03

But we but both of us, we we stay, I think we stayed fairly calm. I didn't freak out, I didn't like whatever. I was in shock. And then we and and we had dinner reservations, so we had to get there at a certain time.

SPEAKER_00

So we ran across the street to Sarah, ran in, and it's like a few, um, you buy them all, I'll buy them all for you, I don't care.

SPEAKER_03

And I had to run to the fitting room and try them on, and my my legs were just wet and sticky, and it was just like I'm glad this was not a first date, but me too.

SPEAKER_00

That would have been well.

SPEAKER_03

So I found pants that I liked.

SPEAKER_00

You had to buy them, and then you had to bring them back to me to put them on the fitting room, and the and the clock was yeah, you had to because to wear them out, they made you give them to me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, to put them.

SPEAKER_00

And we're running that time. We had reservations of car mines, which is very popular near Broadway.

SPEAKER_03

That we could not miss. And then we yeah, and we're I'm like, and I'm like, oh my god, we're gonna You were getting stressed, and I was like, How fast can I do this?

SPEAKER_00

And but I got the pants, we put the other pants in the back, we found a cab, and we we literally got I called them to let them know we're gonna be you know how late. I said, maybe 15. They're like, That's okay. Yeah, we got there, and then I bought dinner, which she was gonna buy because I bought the broader, and she goes, we agree. I said, Please let me do this. I think I just ruined your favorite pants.

SPEAKER_03

You felt, I could just tell you felt so bad.

SPEAKER_00

I spent hours working on those stains, um, trying to get them out because I'm pretty good at that. I got what I could out. I did pretty good. And then I took them to the dry cleaners, and he's like, If this is suede, we don't do suede. He goes, This is suede, we all do suede. He goes, That's how we found, well, let me look at the I'm like, Really? And he's like, Well, let me see the let me see the tag. And we couldn't find a tag, I didn't think there was a tag in it. Found the tag. He goes, These aren't suede, I can do this.

SPEAKER_03

That's how we realized they weren't suede.

SPEAKER_00

Do you think you can get them clean? He goes, definitely. And I'm like, Yeah, okay, we'll see.

SPEAKER_03

So that was amazing.

SPEAKER_00

Picked them up, and she still has the pants are perfect.

SPEAKER_03

The pants are perfect, and I got an extra pair of pants that I really like. But this just this was just a good, like a good little test, like how do we handle right? Like stressful, unpredictable situation. It wasn't like I had an extra pair of pants, and we were like not in a car, right? We were like in in New York City.

SPEAKER_00

So we got to see the Book of Mormon before the fire because they just went back to work. They were out of work for like a month.

SPEAKER_03

And we had a terrific seat. So the and then and then we could joke about it, right? Because I call you my unicorn and you said, right, is my unicorn status revoked?

SPEAKER_00

So you told me it was under review.

SPEAKER_03

And then it was on a review, we had to go to so that's what you and I do so well together. So we created this whole story about how I had to bring this to the board, all women, of course, and then they had to decide if we can appeal it and if you had to go to court and and your birthday was coming up. So so we really made light of it. We laughed, and like it was just but she definitely didn't give it right back to me. She definitely I no, I was like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

She made me say I made you wait.

SPEAKER_03

I made you wait.

SPEAKER_00

I said, You didn't want to make me totally feel better. I said they um she did say I have a feeling because your first offense, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_03

I did say that to make you feel a little bit better, but that was something. So I have a very embarrassing story. Um, I was dating this guy. I was I was still living in Denmark, so I was young, too young to be drinking the way I did, but I did. So I um I was gonna meet his friends, he was much older than me. I was gonna meet his friends for the first time. It was like a big so nervous. It was like a big holiday party, and he had told me all these like horror stories, how there's always they play all these games, and how one oh usually the newest person that comes in sort of gets picked on and made fun of and whatever. And I was so still am, but so sensitive to that, and I just knew they were gonna pick me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you won't let us sit up front for comics.

SPEAKER_03

I don't like that.

SPEAKER_00

Which we're going to see tonight. And she she's afraid of getting picked on.

SPEAKER_03

I was like, can we sit back? And of course it's gonna happen. It's I'm I'll laugh about it, it's fine. But um, I'm sure they're gonna pick me. It's all good. So so uh we'll let you know. Yeah, you'll let me know next time. No, it won't let me know. Yeah. Yep. Um, so anyway, so I was so nervous. So he was gonna come pick me up. I'm gonna go to this big thing. There was like a million people, and um, I had I sat by myself in my room, I still lived at home, and I drank the I don't remember, the cheapest crap you could find because I had no money.

SPEAKER_00

Like schnapps or something.

SPEAKER_03

Something like that. It was like something you something sweet and disgusting. I was trashed before I probably didn't eat because no, I probably didn't eat because we were gonna eat at this like big dinner. It was at somebody's house, but like I said, they were much older than me, so everything was fancy, everyone lived in their own apartments or houses or whatever. So he comes and I'm trying the hardest to pretend that I'm sober because of the fuck drinks before big party like that. So he drives me home to his house. He lived with his parents too, and he had to go shower. So he put me in his, he's like, Here's he turned on the TV for me, and he's like, Here you go. So he's in the bathroom showering, and I'm sitting there in his room trying to trying to focus on whatever show he put on, and the room starts spinning, and it's just and it spins faster and faster and faster. And I'm dressed all nicely, and I'm like, Oh no, and I'm like, I don't feel good, but I'm like, he's in the bathroom. How am I gonna and I feel like I'm just gonna bump up the bottom? But I was like, how am I how am I gonna get to the bathroom? Because he's in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00

I literally, it just came out, and I Oh, you threw up on his floor, and he had carpet.

SPEAKER_03

I threw up on his floor, and somehow we must have landed like under his bed. I'm not kidding. I was so drunk that I didn't even realize that's what would happen. And I and then I got up and there was like a little it was like a little half bathroom off to the side, like in his parents' room. And I sneaked in there, they weren't home, and I finished vomiting and I tried to clean myself up. I tried to bring paper like toilet paper. There's no paper tall saying to like clean up this vomit before he was done showering, you know, manicure. Oh yeah, and I can't even imagine the stench. So he comes in and I'm sitting there pretending, I'm like, good, this and now, but at this point, I'm feeling much better because I vomited, and I was just like, Hi. I didn't say a word. I didn't say I just vomited on your car.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_03

I was so embarrassed and more often, he knew the next day. So he gets ready and then we leave and we go to this thing, and it was fine. I didn't get picked on, it was fine. We had a great time. And then the next morning we wake up and he's like, There's vomit on the floor. Did you vomit? I'm like, oh maybe. I never told him the whole story because I was I was he's like, that's okay. And then he just like cleaned it up and would have spray or whatever, but I never told him. Never told him.

SPEAKER_00

Sounds like he was a decent guy.

SPEAKER_03

He was never told him the whole story, but I was I was mortified that I did that. I told all of my friends, but I never wouldn't have told him either.

SPEAKER_00

But I never said especially if I thought I cleaned it up.

SPEAKER_03

I I never said, but like, of course I didn't clean it up with toilet paper, I didn't have a spray, like a force it was like in his carpet, not even like on Hartworth horse. Mortifying, mortifying. But we still we ended up dating and and also I never told him the whole story of what really happened. He probably just would have laughed about it.

SPEAKER_00

But I was just I was I was probably would have felt bad, they made you so nervous.

SPEAKER_03

Horrifying.

SPEAKER_00

Made me think just reminded me of uh my I think it was my senior prom. I threw up because I drank before my senior prom.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And uh I remember I ate my favorite food too, which is hot dogs. So chunks of hot dogs are coming out. Oh wow I never told my date.

SPEAKER_03

You know, I just at least you didn't do it in front of her, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

No, we did in the bathroom, but you know, I don't know if she could smell my breath or not, but you know, yeah, yeah. So you just reminded me of that one, right? So my problem, I did that. Yeah, she wasn't my girlfriend, she was just my date, but yeah, yeah, some really crazy times. Yeah, you know, and you know, um funny how three of the times we described were with us.

SPEAKER_03

That's right.

SPEAKER_00

But I will say, you know, to put it positive at the end, uh the best date I ever had was with you, which was the first time we went to Broadway.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

When we Brian Park in December, yes, and we got a drink. It wasn't wine, but we walked around. It was freezing cold, but it just I felt like we were in a movie. And every there was snow, it had just snowed that morning. It was just right after two days after Christmas, so all the Christmas stuff. It was absolutely the best date I ever had.

SPEAKER_03

We did that, then we went to dinner, and then we saw and Juliet, which you loved, loved, loved it so much, and that was my Christmas present.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and I remember you saying when they directed me, because I wasn't even I was hoping I didn't get scammed on the tickets. I didn't think so. So I got it from Head Out, which is legitimate, and then they they're like, Oh, you're downstairs, and she goes, I've never sat this close.

SPEAKER_03

Never. I was always in a noteblades like way up high, but we had like orchestra seats, like we had yeah, so close as well.

SPEAKER_00

I said I I never have either, but you know, I found that I said they were affordable and I got them.

SPEAKER_01

So unbelievable, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, affordable, you know, still expensive, but not as expensive. But head out, you can get great, great.

SPEAKER_03

Never knew that was something you found. Never knew that that never knew that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, when I wanted to when I knew I wanted to get that for you for Christmas, I found it. I didn't know I came across it. Yeah, so I was like, oh my god, these prices, but head out's much better. But yeah, so we had all these funny, awkward moments, and I'm sure you guys can share some of yours. We'd love to hear it. We would, or even just sometimes it like with you, it's not it's not awkward. We're making it awkward, right? We got so in your own head about this date with this guy and his friends. Yeah, you know, so yeah, but you know, we've all had those kind of things happen to us too. We didn't talk about too many of those, but um, where we're just so worried about the impression or meeting someone's parents, or yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, oh my gosh, I remember that before we wrap up. That same guy, I didn't drink. I decided decided not to drink, that is not gonna go well. But I was gonna meet his parents, so he lived at home with the parents, and um, and they were having this big like fancy I think it was a wedding anniversary or something, and I was invited, and oh my god, I was just like, I I said the dumbest things I could they just came kept coming out of my mouth. Like I did not do a good job, and I was trying so hard to like you know, be sound really smart and and just like very sweet and agreeable, and I was I was so nervous and so uncomfortable. Like this they were so lovely, this family. And um, he really came from a great home, but I just I didn't know how to be around like healthy normal people. So it took me a long time just to get comfortable being around them, and they were super inviting and very sweet, but I would just I was just I was just mortified, and I was so I just I couldn't even talk, right? And I think, oh that's what happened when I walked the first time I walked into their house, into a living room to say hi. I knocked over a freaking vase. Like that's how I like took my hand out, that's how that's it. My hand out to shake, I think it was the father's hand or something, and I knocked over this vase and it fell on the floor, and I think part of it broke, and the mom was like, That's okay. And it turns out later that it was something they got from vacation somewhere, really exotic. That was my that was my first impression. That was my first impression with these people, but then afterwards we're able to to like laugh about it. They're like, Do you remember? I was like, Please don't don't don't even mention it. But it took me a long time to warm up. I was just very uncomfortable around new people, especially like parents, right? Like those kind of authorities for sure. Yeah, that was uncomfortable. It's not easy, nope, but we've all had it, and um, you know, and it's just and again, you and I keep coming back to we just have to laugh.

SPEAKER_00

We have to be able to laugh at ourselves and just be not take ourselves too seriously, you know, and and I think we do a good job of that. And there was a time where I definitely took myself too seriously.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's not the end of the world.

SPEAKER_00

No, it just really isn't. It's like, you know, um, to be able to laugh about it. Sometimes it's you know, and you're like, Oh, we're gonna when I spilled the wine on you, we're gonna laugh about it. I go, not today.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

I said maybe in like six years I can laugh about it, because I thought I ruined your favorite pants too. Even if you did.

SPEAKER_03

You felt so bad. But even if you can't like it was an accident, right?

SPEAKER_00

Even if you did, it sucked, but it was like it's so, but that was yeah, that was that was uh that sucked.

SPEAKER_03

But we got through it and we're here now, 10 months later. Right. Ten months later. So let us know, you guys, in the comments. We would love to hear, you know, awkward moments like in your dating life, either first dates or several dates down the road, right? And and how did you how did you handle it? Do you laugh about it? Like what did you what did you do?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, or even awkward things you were feeling, like you know, if you're worried about something. I mean, you know, we kind of came up with this one on the in the moment when we did it today. Um, so it didn't give us a lot of time to really think back. Um, I guess if we ever think back and come up with some really great ones, we could do another one on this.

SPEAKER_03

But I thought this was pretty good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but you know, we we love hearing this stuff, it'll be interesting. It's always a good story, good fodder, nice laugh, and helps us not take ourselves so seriously.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, sometimes we just need something very light. That's all that's it. That's all we need. So if you guys like this episode, please give us a five-star review and rating because it just helps getting the podcast shown to more people. And click the follow button so you don't miss an episode. Keep talking, keep talking, thank you for listening, and keep laughing. Keep laughing, absolutely. Bye.

SPEAKER_00

Bye.