Episode 1: Why We Started the Hey Haute Mama Podcast (And the Journal Entry That Gave Me Chills)

Hey Haute Mama's! Recently my mom and I posted a video of us dancing together in New York City to Taylor Swift… and somehow it ended up getting over 60 million views. And the funny thing is, that moment pretty much sums up our relationship. We laugh a lot, we don’t take life too seriously, and we genuinely love having fun together.

But there’s also a deeper reason this podcast means so much to me.

My dad passed away last year, and not long ago I found one of his journals from 2004. In it he wrote one sentence that completely stopped me: “I want to tell Jenni about the future of her gifts and talents and how to be vulnerable like show host Johnny Carson: 

And I have no idea why he wrote that… but reading it gave me chills.

Because here I am today starting a podcast that’s all about sharing stories, being vulnerable, and helping people find more joy in life.

And if there’s one thing I truly believe, it’s that the amount of joy we experience often comes down to the perspective we choose to see.

So if you’re looking for real conversations, a lot of laughs, and maybe a fresh perspective on motherhood and life… you’re in the right place.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm Jen Peralt, founder of Pot Off the Rack and Hot Mama Collective. And I'm Liz Gridatti, Jen's mom, also known as the OG Hot Mama. We're a mother-daughter duo having real conversations about motherhood, health, life, and finding more joy in the everyday moments.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

And Jenny is known for her positive outlook and daily gratitude practice. And together, we're here to share stories, perspective shifts, and plenty of laughs along the way.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to feel like the hot mamas we truly are. Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm Jennifer Peralt of Hot Off the Rack and Hot Mama Collective. And I'm Liz Godotti, but most people know me just as Jenny's mom. Which makes her the OG hot mama. Exactly. We're so excited to be sitting down and finally recording this podcast because the whole goal of the show is for everyone to feel happier, inspired, and maybe even look at your life with a whole new perspective. And if there's one thing that people know me by, I would say it's by my really, it's that I'm a really positive person. And people always ask me how I say positive while juggling motherhood, marriage, work, everything that life throws at you. And honestly, it all comes down to gratitude. And I've been keeping a gratitude journal for quite a while now. Before I didn't, I practiced those habits on a daily basis even before the gratitude journal. But once I started the actual gratitude journal, I would say this was maybe three years ago. Game changer. Changed my whole life.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

I think what's neat about writing it down, because I write down nothing, but I think what's neat about writing it down is that you can go back and read it. Yes. And I think that enforces it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yes. And it makes you realize because along with the gratitude part, I write down, you know, the things that I'm thankful for and then the things that I want to happen. And then when I look back and I see that those things actually happened, it just only grows that connection between the solidifies it.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Yeah. It solidifies it in.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

You know, and I think that grows serotonin in the brain. I don't know if that's a scientific fact or not, but I'm saying when you reinforce positivity like that, you are re-energizing your brain. I think it makes a difference.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

And that's a big part of what inspired this podcast. And I'm gonna get into why I wanted to start this podcast from the beginning, but there's another story uh behind this podcast that's really cool that my mom doesn't even know that I'm gonna share today. Um, while my dad, my my dad came and lived with me last year on hospice. Jennifer, that was amazing that y'all did that.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

My heart's like pounding.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

I know, sweetie. But okay, so I'm gonna pull this out. This is so crazy. Um so he lived with us on hospice last year and he passed away. And a few days later, I found this journal that he had. Hold on, I want to get myself together so I can read it. Um he wrote in the script. It's kinda hard to read. His handwriting was not the best. Okay, it's it's the craziest thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Okay, so this was in 2004 that he wrote this. Okay. And he I'm gonna read it exactly what he wrote. He said, I need to improve my relationship with Jenny, soften up, communicate more freely. Help her to see the future and gifts and blessings and talents and guide her to her voice and dance and drama. Intellectualize with her and help her to understand that this part of her life is the base of everything she'll venture out to be. Be kind, be assertive, be emotional, vulnerable yet a whole person. Understand what it is to be whole. Johnny Carson was a great, the best comic because he was not afraid to show his vulnerability to everyone. And everyone is everyone has vulnerabilities. Be happy with yourself, it doesn't mean that you should stop improving oneself. Be a student of life. Very introspective. He wrote that he wanted to tell me that, and what's so crazy is that that he mentions Johnny Carson being a show host. Uh-huh. And it was almost like he saw something before I even knew it. Yeah. This was neither of us can do math. No. If there's anybody in the room that can do math right now, what is 2026 minus 2004? We're really showing. We're really showing who we are right now. Don't do that. Don't do that to us. They're gonna know. It's 22 years. It's 22 years. I did. Nobody should nobody held up a calculator in the room. I just knew that because I did the math in my head.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

You don't know how proud I am of you.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Thank you. But it it gives me chills because we're here recording this podcast right now. He knew. And and it's like it's like he saw something before I ever saw it. And that it how crazy that I found that after he passed away. And then for those of you who are listening right now, and and I'll get into that story. I feel like I that's a whole story in itself that I need to share about my dad. Um, but he wasn't able to speak when he was living in hospice in our house. So he couldn't tell me any of these things. Right. Even if he wanted to. So it's so crazy that I found that journal entry. Yes, that's 22 years old. And I just found it amongst his stuff.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

So crazy. Well, you know what's even crazier is that he journaled back then too, just like you do now.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was, I mean, he wrote all kinds of stuff in there. And and Kate, my sister, if you're listening right now, don't worry, he wrote something nice for you too. But I was I was sharing about it. But we're focusing on Jimmy right now, Kate. We know how that is. Yes. And you know what? While we're I was gonna ask you this later in the podcast, but I'm gonna ask you now, because we we mentioned about my dad seeing that before I did. Was there anything that stuck out to you when I was a kid that would make you think we would be here right now recording a podcast?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Oh, wow. Okay. Um, recording a podcast or just you being doing your influencing and the whole thing? Both. Uh I the only thing I can think of is when you were young and we were looking through a photo album of me. I know uh you don't usually like to focus on me. I don't, but it was on me, and and I was looking at all these gymnastic pictures and these cheerleader pictures, and I wanted you to see the work that they were doing, and instead you were like, Oh, that's a cute outfit. That's a cute outfit. And you wanted to focus more on the fashion. Yeah. And I'm like, that's not you, and you know what that's not division.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

I want you to still today, even though I did do all the legwork behind this podcast, it's still we showed up today at the house and I had the outfits prepared for us already. And what were you what were you doing to help us? What was I reading? Yes, yeah. And and was she on time.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

So yeah, she came in. Let's paint a picture for them.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Don't paint a picture of your house.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

I am a 35-year-old mother of two wild boys. You had girls, you had girls, they were five years apart. Okay. That's totally different than boys that are two years apart. They're crazy. I don't have time to fold the laundry. In fact, folding a laundry is a waste of time because all they do is unfold it. God, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah, well, she walks into my room, she can't even, she can't even No, I can't focus on anything else. I can't see that because all she sees is the unfolded laundry. Yes. And uh, and then also she wasn't wearing any makeup. She expected me to do her makeup and dress her and write the whole podcast episode.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Which you did. And here we are today. So, but that is a very neat story about uh how your dad kind of had that vision. Yeah. I'm kind of not surprised. You know, your dad grew up in LA, of course. And he was actually in a movie.

unknown 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

And the movie came on TV. So I think he had, of course, you got a lot of that ability from him. But look how he kind of foreshadowed that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

I mean, so wild that he would put that and that he wanted me. And you know, in with a podcast, I feel like being vulnerable is what you have to do. That's that's what makes people want to listen to you, is if you're really gonna share your heart and story with them because that's really showing up authentically. Yeah. And I think that was really cool that he found a way to tell me that. I do too. And I'm glad you saw it. You know, this podcast has been about three years in the making. I wanted to start it whenever I was whenever I was pregnant with Brooks. Yeah. But then we, you know, we drifted away from that. Life happened. We sold our house, we started building a house. I had two kids. Well, you have to pace yourself sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

And um sometimes you you put things on the back burner and then you revisit.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah. And actually, I guess that kind of brings us into how this podcast started. So, like I said, three years in the making, and then I my ideas evolved over time. The whole reason why I wanted to start the podcast is actually when I launched my nonprofit, Hot Mama Collective, which is to help moms in need. And we collect items and provide them with resources. And that was something that was really special to me, still is special to me. But during that time, I was in a a really challenging season. The whole reason why I wanted to do it was because while I was pregnant, I was dealing with gestational diabetes. I was sick every single day. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

You told me.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Every yeah, I just did it. I threw up every single day while I was pregnant. Yes. And then postpartum, I got postpartum hypertension. I had all the thing that you could get postpartum. You I got it.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

And told everybody. So we covered that.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

And but but all in all, I realized how lucky I was to have all the resources and the people and the village I needed. And I wanted to make sure that women who don't have that village, that we could essentially be that village for them. And that was why I started Hot Mama Collective. And that was why I wanted to start the podcast to really create awareness. The thing is, I feel slightly removed from that season of life. I'm just, my life has changed so much then. And and so, really, this is gonna be more about the shift in perspective. And hell motherhood changed me, but for the better. And all the things that I've taken from that and how I can help everyone else, and I know you can help a lot of people in their everyday lives.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

You know what I love seeing, Jen, is you and all of your uh young friends in in the midst of young children getting together and and helping out other people that maybe are not in the same situation as y'all. Really it is very hard.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about how you ended up here. I was forced a little bit, a little bit. So this is really crazy. Uh some of you might recognize us from this reel that went viral. It got over 60 million views, and that was one reel of a few that we posted around that time. And it's so crazy of how consistent it is with my videos and volving involving you and how they always go viral. And I think that what I didn't expect to learn from those videos is how connected people felt to us because they could just feel our joy and our energy and our banter with each other. And it made them feel the ones who no longer had their moms, it made them feel close with their moms still. And then the ones that do have their moms, it it made them want to go do something with their mom. Yeah. And they really enjoyed seeing you. Um we'll get we'll get to her legs, everyone who's concerned about her legs. We'll get to that. Uh, but they just really enjoy our relationship and the energy that we give together. And that's how you ended up here.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

It is. But Jen, if you think about it, growing up, we did a lot of silly things together. We didn't do that. We had videos.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Oh my gosh. You know what? We have to find the video of when I was in high school. Yes. No, it still exists. It still exists. I know it still exists. Yeah, and I'm dancing in the kitchen and my mom starts dancing with me. So yeah, we've been doing this our whole lives. Our whole lives have been this way.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

You know, improvise and just go with something in the middle of something. And uh, and that's probably how we get through a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

And uh, another element to this story is when this reel went viral, it took place after my dad had passed away. And again, to give you a little bit more context, my dad lived in on hospice with us for about four months. And prior to that, for three months, he was in the hospital in rehab. So for the first seven months of last year, it was all focused on my dad. And my career had to take a big back seat. Was I still working some? Yes, because I'm a big, I take a huge role of providing for our family, uh, in addition to my husband. And it hit us hard financially with me not being able to work and all of the all of the things that we had to put into taking care of him too, and to open up our home to him. And unfortunately, I had so much help. I've never seen a community come together like this. Like it is it it was your friends really stepped up. And then of course changes and strangers and and while it was the hardest year of my life, it was the coolest experience seeing this village come together. Yeah. And I just I wanna, I want other people to have that, you know?

SPEAKER_00 14:00

And and Jen, I think it was uh a great way to honor your dad. And and uh I've heard this from other people too. And I I hope everyone has the opportunity to be with their loved ones at the time that they're passing. And just have the honor and privilege of of giving back to them what they gave to you.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

The whole experience is gonna have to be its own episode because it's a wild style. And I've never lost a parent, so I don't know what that is. My mom's parents are in their early 90s, and they sh they honestly, my grandmother, we're gonna bring her on. We're gonna bring her on, but they're like in great health, great shape. They are getting off. Very lucky. Okay, I'm sorry, let's come back to the topic because we were gonna say that those back to me. Yeah, back to me. See that topics were so hard. Okay. Very so hard financially. That when we set out to go on this trip to New York, the whole point was You wanted me to pay for everything. Yes. That was one point. And for me to promote my handbags that I designed, because I designed these handbags with Gigi New York. Which are beautiful. Thank you. I brought them with me. I wouldn't have to be a good idea. And I love Gigi of New York.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

They're such a great company.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Oh, they're the bad people. They are good people. Okay. So when we went on this trip, uh, we had planned on doing a dance. Okay. And we had different outfits for the dance that we were gonna wear throughout the whole video. And so we filmed different clips of us wearing different outfits doing this dance to Taylor Swift all throughout New York. Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

And to give context, I would be in my sweats and you would say, put this and this on.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Oh, yes. I styled her. Yeah. Anybody, yeah, everybody commenting on the video. Thank you very much. You're welcome. That was me. I styled her. I styled her. And it was to promote, I can't speak. It was to promote my bags. And did I know that the reel would get over 60 million views and all positive comments? I I don't even know if I saw anything negative. And it the biggest thing was about your legs, which we'll get to that. We'll get back to the legs. But what's the craziest part about this reel going viral was that it sold out my bags over and over and over and the coats. And the coats. And over the course of time, got me over nearly a hundred thousand new followers who just enjoyed our content together. And you know what? By us selling all of those bags, which we wanted to do, right? It helped give everything back to that first seven months of not being able to work because I was taking care of my dad. And it was so crazy because it was kind of like, you know, God found a way to give it all back to you. It was felt like such a big reward. Your dad's a dancer. And he graduated dancing CLA. Right. I need a sip of my emotional support water.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

I'm sure that costs me a lot too. I'm sure I'm paying for that also.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Uh I don't go anywhere without my emotional support water. Yes, my dad was a dancer. He's a dancer. Yeah. And the fact that we're dancing all over New York, you know, and just sh spreading joy and then and then for it to just go viral all over the world was really cool.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

But and I will say, as a person, as a woman that's 62, to go back and do something as crazy and silly as just kind of like dance in the middle of the new of New York, it brings back a fun, light feeling. And it was just so enjoyable. It brings back kind of like your childhood. And that's another thing that goes with positivity. You know, if you can bring back those feelings, you remind yourself of that youth.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Doing fun things that you did when you were a kid. In fact, you know, it's funny. Uh not that this happens often. For the most part, I always get really good positive feedback, but I did, I have heard before that potentially some videos could be kind of like cringe dancing. And you know what? I literally get to make up dances and have fun for a living. Like, make fun all you want. I'm over here having real fun. So that's, I mean, that's the dream, right? To feel like you're a kid again. Exactly. And be able to do that. That's what you did as a kid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Do you remember? Do you ever remember like uh being with your friends and just laughing, getting the giggles, and you can't control them? Yes, it's okay. But I feel like as you get older, you lose that. So last night I was coaching some cheerleaders in high school and they got the giggles and they just couldn't stop laughing. And I just, I just absolutely love that because it reminds me of that again. And I told them, I go, oh y'all, I love that because I feel like I don't do that anymore. And they're like, you don't get the giggles. Yeah. Next time we're bringing margaritas while we while we film. The adults now need alcohol to get the kick.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

You're right. And you know what? Let's let's actually, even though I do love myself a skinny margarita, let's just skinny margaritas. Yeah, let's just let everyone know like my mom and I are not big drinkers. We're really not. And we're we're ridiculously silly without alcohol. Yeah. That's is that sad or is that good? I don't know. A lot of people probably think we're drinking sometimes. I got that a lot in college. Yeah. Even when I wasn't, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

But anyway, my whole point with that is how fun is that to revisit those feelings again? And that truly is what also helps you be positive and reminds you of those use. Yes, yes, feeling like a kid again. So if they want to cringe, fine.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

We'll we'll we'll keep feeling like I mean, I don't that is not, that is not like that's a rare situation for the most part. I couldn't even believe it was all positive. Like if you just like scrolled through, I mean, like, did you see anything? Oh, you know what? The crazy comments come from Facebook. Those people are unhinged. And it's because it's not really my community. And sometimes, or in the end, I've realized that lots of times they just want to be heard. They just want to, they need to say something ugly because that's all they can control in their life at the time.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

But you're always gonna have people, and yeah, and and social media has just opened it up to one for being easier, you know, and also easier to do that and to make those.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

You're right, because they're behind a screen. Absolutely. And now that we're talking about me and you again, let's talk about our dynamic because everyone thinks that we're best friends. And I I hope that we don't crush your souls, but I mean, I'll let you say it.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

We're not best friends.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

We're not best friends. We're not best friends.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

We are, you know, and you know what is even sad? Like a lot of times after we're together, I leave and I go, okay, next time I'm gonna be nicer. I'm gonna be nicer than that.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

And that's why we're not best friends because she is mean. And people thought I'm the mean one to her. No, she's the mean one to me. She is my mother and I am her daughter. And we've always kept those roles. Yeah. We never shifted into the besties type thing. Yeah. And a lot of I see a lot of friends who do have that relationship with their mom where they are best friends. Yeah. And I think it's great. And you know, sometimes we're like kind of friends.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Oh no, but we're definitely our personalities are a lot of like in some ways. And so different at the same time. So very, very beyond. But but you know what I find interesting is that uh where you you talked about boundaries. So I feel like we do have boundaries in our and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Uh, because you would we never really raise our voice to each other or Oh my yes, we do. But also, sorry, not in a bad way.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

I don't think you're sorry, but I'm not sorry, but I'm just now realizing this is me being a bad friend. I forgot to give you lip gloss before this episode. So at some point, we're gonna have to take a break to do some lip gloss.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

And I'm looking at yours though, and I thought to myself, Does it look good? No. No. I said to myself, Well, I feel like you didn't put on lipstick, that's why I didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Does it not look like I don't have lipstick on?

unknown 22:02

I mean.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Okay, shortly, we will have a lipstick break, guys, because and we will improve this lip situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

But back to the pros and cons of being of boundary and besties. Oh, boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

We're talking about boundaries. But we never say anything hurtful. No. Like you know, and and and sometimes I feel like you can say something across the line.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

That's true. But when it comes to hurtful, that's something else about us. And that I learned from my mom, you can't hurt our feelings. No. So there's a chance that we do say thank you. There's a chance that we do say mean things to each other that other people think they're mean. No, they're not mean. Okay, so we might be saying mean things. Yeah, we're probably saying things to each other. Oh, I didn't think about that. I don't think we really have boundaries. I don't have boundaries. And here's the here's the pros and cons about not being besties. I feel like because she's very much kept her mother role to me, she's very helpful. She's very helpful to me. She comes and helps me with my kids. Uh she, in fact, she helps me so much with my kids. She will call me to ask if I made sure to brush their teeth or not. That is something that she will call me to ask. And then she'll she'll check it with my kids. When she picks them up from school, she'll be like, did your mom brush your teeth this morning?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

And the reason I have to check you is because I don't think you mean to lie, but sometimes you do just to just to make it easy. Just to be like, oh my God. Okay, if I just tell her what she wants to hear, maybe she'll be quiet. But I'm on to that now. Absolutely. And so I check you.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yes. We all, everyone. I have I have a sister and I have two stepsisters, and we all lie to you. But it's just it's just to protect you. Well, we're just trying to protect you, keep you happy and protect ourselves. And protect ourselves. She's not happy about that. I said that. She's not. No. She's not.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

We're gonna have a conversation on that later.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Let's talk about how I became such a positive person. Which by the way, as far as I can remember, I've always been a really positive person. Yes. Have I always been that way since I was a kid? I oh absolutely. Okay, so I've always been positive. Yes. Yes. Yes. And like I've mentioned earlier in the episode, gratitude is a huge reason why I am so positive. I would say another reason is that why, while I don't think that you automatically default to optimism, you can still laugh in every situation. And I think in a way that is a little optimistic because it shows a sign of you saying that it's gonna be okay, right? Whether you're really angry at me, you can laugh, or you're sad about something, you can laugh. And that that was even dad, too. Like he was literally on his deathbed in my house and he would be laughing his ass off at funny shows on the TV when the kids came in and did something funny. When I would go in and tell him a story about the frog falling on my head from the front door or being scared of a roach, like he would laugh. Yeah, and he couldn't, to give you guys context, he could not functionally move his body, he couldn't speak, he was bedbound and he was laughing. And both of my parents can do that. They can laugh in really hard situations, which has always showed me that in the end everything is gonna be okay, and that helps keep my optimism going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

So, so a couple of things on that. And and and I totally get that from my mom. My mom is extremely and I grew up that way. I grew up that way. She found we laughed at a lot of things. Um, but um, I say that to say, and I honestly I I want to know if I do this because I think this is so important for parents. So whenever I would call my mom throughout my entire life, no matter where I was, in California, wherever, and the second my mom answered the phone and I heard her voice, the way she answered, I knew everything was gonna be okay. And I felt like she was totally there for me. So I have really, really please don't disappoint me.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I have really I'm totally gonna disappoint you. Listen to it. Everyone has to know. Everyone needs to know. You and your mom have a totally different relationship than you and I. We do. Lowly. She's very respectful towards her. Y'all have a very respectful relationship, and you and I do not. But that's okay. We're real with each other. That's okay. I allow you to be real with me, and I am real with you, except when I am lying to you, which is a lot.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

But only for my own good. Only for your own good. No, so I'm I'm gonna work on that. See, that's one of the things that I will walk away because a parent can always walk away with what am I, what do I we're in a continuous, we are not born knowing what we're doing as parents. We are in a continuous, especially a mother-daughter relationship. We're continuously learning and improving ourselves. And that's, I may not always succeed, but that's what I try to do. And so that's why sometimes when I walk away, uh, you know, after we've done something or whatever, and I think, you know what, that I don't always improve it the next time. But that is my goal. You need to know that. That's my goal.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yes. Unfortunately, that is not one of your strengths. Uh to meet my goals. Yes, to meet your goals, especially to meet your goals that have to do with not nagging me. Oh, and I read somewhere. What?

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I read somewhere where they did a study and nagging your kids made successful kids. I'm not kidding. The kids were successful.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Dude, are you saying I'm successful? Oh, I guess I am.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Yes. Yes, you are successful at some things, not at folding the laundry, which I will still continue to nag you about. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

She's welcome to come to my house and fold my laundry anytime if it bothers her.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Uh, maybe I'm nagging you about the wrong things. I don't know. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

It's nagging. I'm surviving the nagging. It doesn't bother me that much. And I think that I am able to totally brush things off in a way that maybe other daughters wouldn't if their moms were constantly on top of them about things where I'm like, okay, it was nice talking to you. Bye. And then I move on with my life. You do. It does, yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

So and I will tell you this, something else I appreciate about you is that especially when you started having kids and with your children, you wouldn't say to me, Mom, this is the way it has to be done. This is the way you're doing it with my child. I you really preface it very well. You would come in and say, Hey, mom, you know, this is kind of the latest that um that they're recommending that we do. We use this toothbrush or we don't use this or um something like that. So looking back, I really do appreciate the way you handle that, Jim, because I have a lot of my friends who would say, My daughter won't let me do this. She says this. And it upset the parents because I mean, we obviously raised jobs.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Well, that is because you are the strictest parent ever when it comes to migrants. I mean, when it comes to my kids, which is fine. Like, I just don't have anything to worry about because in fact, when can I please tell this story about when my mom picks up Beck from school and the teacher will open the door for Beck to get in and he'll go, Oh, Lily, I didn't know you were picking me up today. And my mom would be like, get in the car right now. Because she's so embarrassed. Like that in front of the teacher. It is embarrassing. Yeah, and it's because you're so strict with him. It's because the first thing you ask them when they get in the car is, Did you brush your teeth today?

unknown 29:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

But they will have pretty teeth.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

So let's you have very pretty teeth and you welcome. All right. And okay, so back to Lolo. She is the most, she is the perspective person. Like that, I feel like is the voice in my head when it comes to perspective and daily gratitude. Because something that she used to say to me when I was a kid was uh we would walk outside in the morning, she'd be like, oh she still does this. She hear the birds chirping. It's so beautiful outside. Oh, just to get to walk outside on my legs. I'm so lucky to have to walk on. But she's so right. There's so many very tiny things that we take for granted. And I try to get excited about them. And I've made this such, I've made this such a habit that like when I get into the shower, I jump up and down because I'm so excited to be in a warm shower and that like I wasn't born during the time when they didn't have showers. Or we're in a place of, you know, some people don't have the luxury of having a warm shower. And I get in the shower and I'm like, oh, like I just I get so excited. I think that's great. I don't think anybody saw me, but I just jumped up and down. Uh one time, Blake, I didn't even know he was in the bathroom. He was walking out of the closet and he saw me jumping up and down in the shower and he was like, What are you doing? I'm sure he wasn't surprised. And I was like, I'm just happy to be in the shower. But also, I think a lot of moms can relate to being happy to finally be in the shower at the end of the day. It's the only time, if you're that lucky, to get some alone time because if I don't lock the doors, those kids are coming in.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Well, I'm glad to see that you you saw all that and appreciated all that in love.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Still there and incorporated into your life. So those are the types of things that I write in my gratitude journal. I will literally write down that I got to sleep in a big, comfy bed last night. And that's something that Lolo would say too. Like, you are so lucky to sleep in a bed. And as a kid, I was like, it's not that lucky. Like everybody sleeps in bed, everybody sleeps in beds, but that's not the case. Not everybody has a bed. Before we wrap up, I have a bunch of questions that my followers submitted to me. And they're really all for you, but I might I might take some on for myself. And let's start with the first question: Who is your favorite daughter and why is it Kate? I wonder who this one came from.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

I wish I had a favorite daughter. None of you even try.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

We do not. That's true. None of us try to be the favorite. That is absolutely true.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

I mean, any given day I'd be like, all right, she looks good. I'll take that. Because that's all I've got.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

I do feel like there was a time where maybe Kate tried a little bit and then she joined my side and she realized we don't need to be the favorite. We don't need the validation. And you know what? Actually, that's so true. I, while I really appreciate your support, I don't need to feel validated by my mother in order to do something. In fact, perfect example. I was in college. I left college. I left college in my fifth year to pursue my dreams and I did not. You were my mother tell me that.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

And that's what I bring up. Why bring up when you weren't my favorite? You see, do you see what I mean? How y'all not even try? But I'm your favorite now. Yeah, I do. Well, at this point, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, but out of the four of you, I wish that y'all all tried harder. So that would be my advice. Let's all try harder to be her favorite. Give me some.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

How does your mom handle her local fame? I don't think I have local fame. I I uh you have told me about people coming up into you, coming up to you at the airport.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

That is, yeah. We were in uh another state.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

And someone recognized me from one of our videos. Do you enjoy your local fame? Um, you know what? I I think it's so neat. She honestly really doesn't pay much attention to it.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

She's confused when people come up to her.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

She's like, How do I know you? But I think it's very neat that they follow you, and I appreciate that, and I always thank them. I thank them for following you because I appreciate it. Oh, that is very nice. I'm glad you do that. I'm glad you do that.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

What's the oh, this one actually is for me. It's what's the craziest thing your mom has said or done, in your opinion? Okay, the craziest thing, I feel like you've done a lot of crazy things, but to me, because because this is something that I could never do, this is crazy to me. When my mom was about 24, I assume you were 24 when you moved to California. 22. She was 22. She was 22 and she moved to California without a job, nothing. No car. Okay, but your sister, I do forget that your older sister was there. So she did have an older sister to help guide. That I did not know how to drive. And you know what? She doesn't know how to drive a regular car either.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Neither do I. My friend drove it off the lot. Yeah. And I went home and practiced driving around my apartment complex, and then the next day got on the interstate in Southern California. But when you have no choice, you can do these things.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Yeah, and she found a job, and that's so I'm originally from California. That's where I was born. My mom met my dad, California. So that's probably the craziest thing because I can't even drive myself to the airport. So the idea of moving to a city like LA and driving a stick shift around there, like I could never do.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

I think you could if you Yeah, if I had a driver.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Oh my gosh. It's the driving part that I don't like. I don't like I get scared. I get scared when I don't know where it's. Okay, go.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Let us please move on from this conversation.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Don't worry, we're gonna make this better. Because what makes you most proud of me? What makes you proud of me?

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Here's the crazy part. What? What I'm most proud of you about, I think, is is your tenacity, is your can-do attitude, regardless of the circumstances. And I guess, uh, and I guess that's kind of like what I like about myself too. So you're only proud of the qualities that you gave us.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

No. I uh I I I am, I do love, I love your positivity. I love your sense of humor. I love the way you we laugh at anything.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Yes, we have a very inappropriate sense of humor.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

I love the fact that you're very inappropriate with I can be real honest in your face. I can totally be myself and we're both fine with it. Which I guess kind of makes us like best friends a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

But again, she's until something happens. Until something happens and then I'm in trouble.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Until the laundry's not folded and that happens.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

And she was so mad at how much we spent on the Uber that she made us walk back in heels in the rain 30 minutes. It was because she was not gonna let us take an Uber.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah, and it was raining. But if Penny knew that you paid 70, excuse me, that I you made me pay 70 miles. I paid it either way, either way. Seven miles. I mean, that's seven miles, point seven miles. Okay, wasn't happening. Okay, that was a bad moment in our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

It was. It was. But we've moved on. On the bright side, we got exercise because we had we had been going hard with the desserts in New York. And that's that's the only thing that my mom will really spend money on. She doesn't spend money on anything else but dessert. Yeah. She will get us cookies. Absolutely. She will get us cookies. The last question How did y'all's relationship evolve over the years? And what was it like when you were growing up? So I there was a story that I wanted to tell. I feel like while I don't don't get mad at me for saying this. While I don't necessarily remember you playing with me in the same way that you played with the boys, and that's probably just because like you did that when I was so young that I don't remember it as well. But things that I remember is every time when she would come home from a work trip, she would bring me a gift. It and when I said gift, it was like a freaking branded notepad from the conference. But like that was exciting to me. It was a pen and a notebook. Something free. Okay, well, one time she forgot the branded gift. And you guys, I went in there and I was like, Where's my where's my gift? Where's my prize? And you're like, hold on, let me go get it for you. She goes, This might make me cry because it's so funny and so awful. She goes to her carry-on bag and she pulls out a bottle of water, like Aquafina. Don't you remember the bottle? Yes, it was a brand bottle. It was a branded. This is a branded bottle of water. And she goes, This is very special water. I was five. This is very special water. Well, we're gonna wash your hair with it tonight, and it gives you mermaid hair. And let me tell you, I believed it. I ate it up. Did you feel did you feel special? My hair did turn into mermaid hair. It was crazy. So she washed my hair and then she gets the bottle of water and she washes it, like she rinses it. And I was like, oh my gosh. And then you're just like, you're gaslighting me in the mirror. Like, look how soft your hair is. Like it's so beautiful. It turned it, like, you're welcome for this special bottle of water. And while I think that's a really crazy thing to do, I think that was what you did a lot in during my childhood. Gaslighted you. Yes, you did. You did. But you kind of like romanticized small things. And that was because uh you never wanted to get me the real stuff. You always wanted to get me the off-brand thing. Of course. I wasn't gonna spend foolish. So you would make it seem like really exciting, no matter what it was. So I would say that as when when I was young, the type of mom that she was is still very similar to the one she is today. She's still not gonna spend money. She's still not gonna spend money. And she is still gonna uh she's still gonna make something seem more exciting and better than it really is. Which is no, it's a good thing though. It's a good thing. And that's probably because you're in sales. So she was just selling me. She was selling me on a lot of things. Oh, and it also says, How did our relationship change once I had kids? And I would say, if anything, I just became more appreciative of you. So you think I've been nicer? No, not in that aspect.

SPEAKER_00 39:17

Okay. More appreciative in in now, you go, oh, mom, I I I would have been embarrassed if my child had done that. You know, and then sometimes you go back to your childhood and you go, Mom, I'm sorry. I see what you said back then. You know, I I I would have been embarrassed if my child did that and I had to be you. So so I think you see more things now. I do.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

I see a lot more now. But I think we've been talking for a long time. And while I've really enjoyed hanging out with you and your bestie. My bestie and everyone who's listening, I just want to thank you for hanging out with us today. And remember that the amount of joy you experience in life is often the joy you choose to see. So go soak up these little moments and keep showing up as the hot mama that you truly are. Thanks for listening.