Episode 5: Things My Mom’s Generation Never Talked About… Until Now (featuring The Vagina Whisperer)

Is That Normal? What Every Woman Should Know About Her Body (with Dr. Sara Reardon)

Today’s episode is one that’s equal parts eye-opening, helpful, and honestly… a little funny too.

We’re joined by Sara Reardon, board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist also known as The Vagina Whisperer on social media.



If you’ve ever wondered things like…

👉 “Is this normal after having kids?”

👉 “Should I just live with this?”



This episode is for you.



We talk about the things so many women experience but don’t always talk about and break it all down in a way that feels approachable, empowering, and even a little fun.



And of course… we bring my mom into the conversation for some generational perspective which makes for some really good laughs.




😂 In This Episode, We Talk About:



What pelvic floor therapy actually is (and why moms should care)
The things women experience after having kids that are often labeled “normal”… but don’t have to be
The question everyone is thinking: Is it normal to pee when you sneeze or jump?
Common postpartum issues that are actually easier to fix than you think
Why previous generations didn’t talk about women’s bodies—and how that’s changing
What it was like for Sara to step into this field (and her mom’s reaction 👀)
The most common question women feel embarrassed to ask—but shouldn’t





👯‍♀️ Generational Perspective





We also dive into the differences between how women approached postpartum recovery in the past vs today.



Including:



What my mom experienced after having kids (and what she wasn’t told)
How access to resources has changed for women today


🧠 Practical Takeaways



Sara shares simple, actionable tips you can start today:



2–3 things you can do right now to support your pelvic health
When it’s time to see a pelvic floor therapist
How to better understand what your body is telling you




💬 Listener Questions





We also answer questions from our audience, including:



How to support your pelvic floor while trying to conceive or during pregnancy
When to start pelvic floor therapy during pregnancy (and if it’s ever too late)
Thoughts on trending treatments and procedures
How to tell if you may have diastasis recti




✨ Haute Mama Q&A





To wrap things up, we lighten it up with a few fun questions:



What made your childhood feel special—and what you carry into motherhood now
Something you’ve never told your mom 👀


💛 Connect with Sara


You can follow Sara Reardon on Instagram at @the.vagina.whisper for more education, tips, and resources.

Use code: HauteMama for 30 days free to the V-Hive App (instead of the standard 7 days trial).


💫 Final Thought



You deserve to feel good in your body—and to understand what’s happening in it.



And sometimes, the things we’ve been told are “just part of motherhood”… don’t actually have to be.





If you loved this episode, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with a friend who needs to hear it.



And as always…

✨ The amount of joy you experience in life is often the joy you choose to see. So go soak up those little moments and keep showing up as the Haute Mama you truly are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm Jen Perult, founder of Hot Up the Rack and Hot Mama Collective.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And I'm Liz Gridatti, Jen's mom, also known as the OG Hot Mama.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

We're mother-daughter duo having real conversations about motherhood, health, life, and finding more joy in the everyday moments.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

And Jenny is known for her positive outlook and daily gratitude practice. And together, we're here to share stories, perspective shifts, and plenty of laughs along the way.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to feel like the hot mamas we truly are. Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm your host, Jen Perolt of Hot Off the Rack and Hot Mama Collective.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

And I'm Liz Gridatti, better known as Jenny's mom.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

And please welcome Dr. Sarah Rearden, a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist. Some of you might know her on Instagram as the Vagina Whisper. Thank you, Sarah, for being here today. Where did you where did Vagina Whisper come from?

SPEAKER_02 1:07

My group of girlfriends. I am a pelvic floor physical therapist and had been practicing for a few years. And every summer, a group of us from college would get together and go swimming at a friend's house in Boston. And one summer I ended up talking to all of the moms in a hot tub. Like I wasn't hanging out with my group of like 20-something friends, it was their moms, and they were asking about their bladder problems. And they were like, oh my gosh, Sarah's like the Yes, this is the situation. And they said, Oh my goodness, Sarah's like the vagina whisperer. And so when I started my Instagram account about 10 years ago when I was pregnant with my second son, it was for that same group of girlfriends to share like pregnancy stretches and postpartum recovery tips. So I called it the vagina whisper because that's what they called me.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

And that was when I started following Sarah whenever I was pregnant with Beck. So my friend Jordan, who is really into any type of extra support. Yes, and extra support that you can have while you're pregnant and postpartum. She was like, You should follow the vagina whisper. So I did, and she was such a great resource. I learned so much during that time, and I continued to use her even through my second pregnancy. And I will say, Sarah, I when I was pregnant, I did the least. So you were in New Orleans. No, no, don't, I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean like, I mean like you were in New Orleans, so I couldn't come all the way out to you. I had to go like right where I could get there in like five, 10 minutes. Right. But I did get some pelvic floor therapy. Good in my second pregnancy. I didn't learn about you until after I like right after I head back. It was actually like probably in the weeks leading to, and I was like getting anxious. Yeah. Everyone was like, you know, follow the vagina whisper. And I did, but like at that point, it was also during, it was 2020, during 2020. Oh, you're right. You know, it we weren't really Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Well, and there's just a lot going on in life. So I mean, the whole reason I started that Instagram account was just so people knew what the resources were. Like you can go see a pelvic floor therapist to help prepare for birth or for postpartum. There's so much you can do for your pelvic floor proactively and to help it if you're having issues. So that was really the whole goal. So I'm glad it's been helpful. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Which I have to crack up because I've never even heard of pelvic floor, you know. She hasn't. Miss Liv so you hear. Look, she's calling me Miss Lynn. Um, but but I don't want to jump too far ahead where Yeah, no, we'll get we will get there.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

100%. Uh so yeah, I just wanted to mention that I've been following Sarah for about a little over five years now. And I've continued to use her as a resource because and I've seen you mention this before, it doesn't, your pelvic floor therapy doesn't end with just like, oh, I had my kids and I did it postpartum. Like it's a continual thing. Like I think you will really benefit from hearing from Sarah. And before we even get to that, I have to tell the first time me and Sarah ever actually met in person, it was this past Mardi Gras. I was there for Locals Friday in the French Quarter. So that's Mardi Girl weekend. Okay. And I'm talking, I'm standing in line for the bathroom, and I'm talking to this girl, and she looks I had never met Sarah in person, but she looks just like the vagina whisper. Oh, it was Sarah the girl. I'm like, just wait till I tell the story. So I'm talking to this girl, and she looks just like the vagina whisper, but she's telling me that she lives in Chicago. I'm like, well, the vagina whisper does not live in Chicago. And she's like, oh yeah, I'm here visiting, like riding in a parade. And I, you know, I moved to Chicago years ago, but all my family is here. And she asked what I did. I actually didn't even say that I'm a content creator or anything like that. I was just like, oh yeah, like I'm here for Locals Friday, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, wow, I want to tell her so badly, but I'm like, I don't know how one would receive you look like the vagina with her. So I didn't say it. Well, I move it. So anyway, I sit back at my table, and then all of a sudden, Sarah comes in and she's like, Jen, she was like, My sister just told me she met you. I was like, Oh, she has a twin sister. There is another vagina with her out there.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Well, she may she might just be a vagina, but not a vagina with crazy. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

I was like, oh my gosh, I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew I wasn't crazy. I was like, this woman, like, I hope Sarah knows that there's somebody else out there. Crazy. So you ride in um, I actually write in Cleopatra. Oh Cleopatra, but you were just out there with your friends.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Yes, we had a whole group of friends and we go every Friday, but she came out and she's like, okay, there's this really big influencer in there, Sarah. I was like, ooh, and she's like, her name's Jen from Hotwork. I was like, Wait, she and I have been messaging for years. And I ran, I was like, Jen? Oh, and it was so funny. She's like, I was just talking to your sister, and I thought it was you. It was so funny.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

So then we connected again. I was like, listen, I'm about to start a podcast. And it's funny, years ago I told her when this podcast is a long time in the making. I tried to start it when I was in my third trimester with my second baby in 2022. And that was just, you know, not the best time to start a podcast. And I I'm so glad to have you here today. And now we're getting to your question. Sarah, will you please tell us what exactly pelvic floor therapy is? Because I'm sure there are a lot of people like my mom who don't know that much about it. So tell us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Absolutely. So your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that sit at the bottom of your pelvis. So if you can imagine, like you put your hands on your hips here, that's the top of your pelvic bones. If you sit up nice and tall, you're on your sit bones, that's the bottom of your pelvis. So your pelvic floor muscles are literally the floor of your pelvis. So when you're sitting, they're a group of muscles. They support your organs. So in the female body, your uterus, your ovaries, your bladder, which holds urine, and your rectum, which holds stool, all kind of sit inside of that basket of muscles. And then those muscles have three openings: one for the urethra where urine exits, one for the anal opening where bowel movements occur, and then the vagina for vaginal intercourse, vaginal birth, and menstruation. So if anything is changing in these muscles, which can happen during pregnancy, birth, menopause, aging, um, any time, any kind of pivotal season in a woman's life, even when they start menstruating or become sexually active, these muscles change and they can get weaker and lead to leakage or prolapse or incontinence, or they can become too tight or tense and lead to painful sex, tailbone pain, hip pain. Yes. So as a pelvic floor therapist, I work with the muscles in this area and help people now prevent issues, but also recover from them if they're experiencing problems.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Wow. Okay, yeah. I did not know it was that info. And I told you I did my research and I actually, I mean, like I said, I've been following you for a long time, but I went and listened to some of your other podcasts that you've been on, so I've been a little bit more knowledgeable. And uh I learned a lot. It was really interesting that there's so much like that can change your overall health and body that you're starting on your pelvic floor.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

That you can change with that. You know, I'm in pharmaceutical sales without medication. There's so much that you can do. Sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

No, there's a lot you can do. And I think that it's not, I'm not anti-medicine, but it's a piece of the puzzle that I think is often missing. If you have, you know, frequent urinary tract infections or a hard time starting your urine stream or constipation or painful sex, it's like, let's do this test, put this medicine. But I'm like, nobody's evaluating the muscles, and it's literally tense muscles or weak muscles or in coordinated muscles that just need training.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

I would totally agree. I mean, as much as I have been into um health and then also in pharmaceutical sales, I have never heard this addressed. That's wild. And that's that's wild. It is wild. I know it is wild, and I think that people are missing a great opportunity. I think I'm missing a great opportunity. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:52

Well, I was I was talking to a friend about you not knowing anything about public floor therapy. And we were Oh, I thought you were gonna say sex.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

So I'm glad.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Therapy in general. She's so like anti-any therapy, and I think it's because you she didn't have any of these resources and knowledge. She didn't have any of these resources and knowledge when when she was our age. And so she just had to figure it out, get through it. And so to her, she's like, I did it, you can do it. Like, you don't need all this extra stuff. Like, you can do it on your own. Okay, is it called kegels?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

So that's one of the exercises. That was the only one I knew. Exactly. So you'd know a little, and I think that that's been the narrative for so long that your pelvic floor is weak, do a bunch of keegles, you're gonna be fine. But it's like saying, I have back pain, just do a bunch of crunches, you're gonna be fine. It's so much more nuanced than that of like what's causing that discomfort? Why is the leakage happening? Is it hormones? Is it weightlifting? Is it running? So there's is it scar tissue from birth? I mean, there's so many things that can be contributing. And, you know, again, I think physicians aren't like screening for these issues. Like, who asks you, are you leaking urine? Is sex painful? Are you having staining in your underwear? You have to bring it up.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

If you don't bring it up, a lot of people don't advocate for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

They don't advocate or they just don't make the connection. Right, right. They think this is normal.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Right. We've been told it's normal, right? We've been told that diapers are our destiny. Leakage is a normal part of being a lady. I mean, and that's not true. Like that's the narrative we've been told, and it's not true.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Yeah. What is one of the most common things you see in women after birth that they think is normal but actually isn't? Little leaks.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

It could be a leak with a cough or a sneeze, a little leak when they're jumping rope and they're like, oh, you know, it just happens a little bit after 20 reps, or um, when I'm chasing after my toddler, when I'm, you know, bouncing in the bounce house, so I just don't bounce in the bounce house. I would say that's probably the most common complaint that women have. And the research is very clear. If you're experiencing urinary leakage at three months postpartum, you're likely still going to be having it at one year and then five years. Wow, I didn't even think about it like that. So it doesn't get better, you know, because then we go on to have another baby or our hormones were changing and we're in perimenopause. And so it's one of those things that therapy is a very clear and easy way to treat this, but yet we're told, like, oh, just give it another year, or you can deal with it after the second baby, or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

And meanwhile, the problem never got fixed. And then you just kept going on to other events in life, and another happened.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

See, Sarah has already converted you. Well, before she's like, I don't know anything about me. Like, I don't need better.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Keep whispering, keep whispering. We're working on this whispering. She is because she is gonna be an evangelist by the end of this conversation.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

I might become a whisperer of the vagina by the time we finish. So and in fact, something we were talking about before she even got here is things that are normal and that are not which was I mean, yes, I um, you know, a cough, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:56

And I'm 62. And yes, I am led to believe this is just what happens. Right. This is normal.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

50% of women over the age of 65 leak urine, and no amount of leakage is normal. So after 62, 625. I know, I know. After that age, again, think about what's happening. Our collagen is changing in our body, our muscles are getting weaker with aging. So these are muscles like every other muscle. So you can help it. Just like you lift weights, I can tell you're an amazing shapeless. And so you can build this muscle up just like you can build up any other muscle in your body, but we have to educate women that that's necessary. Just like we take care of our bones and our hair and our skin, we have to take care of our public floors.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

I mean, it is as much as when I'm doing hip thrust, and that's when you lay down, you have that, and you have that big barbell on your blouse. Literally, me and all of my friends are like, oh, gotta go to the bathroom first before I do that. Because just But is that okay?

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Is that okay to know, like, hey, I'm about to do something, I should go to the bathroom before I do it? So that's called just in case voiding.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

And it's okay if it's not the normal habit for you. Like my mom, okay, every time she gets to my house, she's like, Okay, let me just go to the bathroom. And then every time she leaves, she's like, Okay, I'm about to cross the bridge, let me go to the bathroom. And then she's like, Okay, I just got to the house, let me go to the bathroom. So it's that just in case that actually can make your bladder shrink and become more sensitive over time.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

And not good then.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

So not optimal. But like if you're about to go for a long run or become sexually active or get on an airplane and not have an aisle seat, I would say that just in case is okay, but not like consistently. Not consistently. Not like you can't get through a workout without peeing.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

So so far, I have found out I'm not normal. That is what she has whispered to me. I think I yeah, and I think by the time we finish this, I am gonna be well on my way to normalizing my pelvic floor.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

But let us continue. Well, did anybody at all mention anything to you after you had kids about pelvic floor therapy? No. Do you think that it was just her? Or do like was this mentioned to people before?

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Like was it mentioned to you? Yes. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Oh, let me rephrase that. Now I've I've seen this in your videos too. I you know, I take this back because I think my nurse practitioner did talk to me about pelvic floor therapy, but I wouldn't say that my doctor mentioned it. Yeah. And I showed you the video too. It says that women deserve more than a five-minute checkup a few weeks after they have a baby and be like, you're good. Because in most cases, like they've done their job. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

They're done. Yeah. That was their job, right? Right, was to get the baby out. To get that baby out. Right. Make sure you were all healed.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Support for women. Another reason why I started Hot Mama Collective was just to really raise awareness around postpartum and this extra support that we need that people are like, you had the baby, you're good, you made it. Yeah. Like you're just getting started on the whole new body.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

You keep calling it postpartum, but I say postpartum is forever. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Forever. Postpartum is forever. Are you still in postpartum?

unknown 15:00

Apparently.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

True. And you know, we just had a baby.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

And it's so interesting because there's so many things that get thrown at us postpartum. It's like we need to worry about feeding and returning to work and our relationships and exercising and, you know, sex. And it's like to have sleep. Sleep. We are sleep department. Exactly. Nutrition. So to have like, oh, you need to go see a pelvic floor therapist is another thing. But in my heart of hearts, I'm like, if you I see so many women in our clinic at six weeks postpartum, and they sometimes don't even go to their doctor visits, which I want them to. Yes. Because you have to have, you should have a medical check-in. But they're like, they didn't check my pelvic floor. They didn't say, is it weak? Is it strong? Do you, you know, how are my abs? Do they have separation? How does my C-section scar look? And they're like, they told me to return to sex and exercise, but and I'm good to go. But they're like, I haven't even done those things yet. And so how do they know I'm good? You know? And so it's just, we just need so much more support and to integrate this type of care into that postpartum journey for moms. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

And what's cool is for with Sarah and polviclore therapists, it starts well before postpartum. It starts during pregnancy. So I went to polviclore therapy while I was pregnant. And I was doing it because with my first pregnancy, I had a horrible horrible tear. I did tear again with the second pregnancy. But like I I think that um, you know, circumstantially, like that just happens and you still have to find ways to support yourself. But uh so for anybody who's listening right now, would you say that there's any point that it's too late to go to pelvic floor therapy? Never.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

I mean when you're pregnant, even when you're trying to conceive, I think during pregnancy is a great time because you know what it's like training is it's like you're about to run a marathon, but you've never trained. And I'm like, we have to help women understand their bodies, learn how to push, learn how to do perineal massage, how to be comfortable. It's like, oh, you've got back pain, you've got hip pain, you're pregnant, oh your abs are separating. That happens during pregnancy. But there's a lot you can do to make that journey more comfortable and help feel help women feel more informed, heading into a really, you know, process. Yes, haired.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

You go into that pregnancy and that birth, the birthing process more prepared, and I love that. Because it's much better to prepare something and have something stronger and better before it actually happens than try to repair after.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

And a lot of sec, I mean moms will come for second pregnancies, you know, saying, like, I wish I would have done this the first time. Right. We just don't know what we don't know. And that is again one of the reasons I started the vagina whisper. I was like, why did I just get lucky and my vagina is doing all the right things, but nobody else like knows this. Right. But they need to.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Every woman should have access to this info. Yeah. Without it. And it was so crazy when I was in therapy. And uh, if you've never been to a pelvic floor therapy session, it is similar to that of a perhaps not fully similar to. Yes, and I didn't well, I did know because my friend told me to what to expect. And but what's so crazy? Okay, this is new news. What's so crazy though is like I felt like they read you. Like she like could tell things about me that like Braille kind of thing. Do you know what I'm talking about though? She was like, Oh, like, do you ever experience XYZ? And I'm like, how did you know that? And she's like, Oh, well, because you XYZ when I do this. And I'm like, Oh, well, yeah. Like, how did you even know that? Like, and and she is helping inform you about your own body and why it is doing that, yeah, what you can do to support it. Well, it's wild. They're kind of like they might even be like vagina witches.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Yeah. Wizards.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Wizards. That is much better. You're right. It is.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Sorry, wizards. Wizards. Um, no, I did not know it was that involved.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Yeah, it's not always like that. There's there's workouts, there's stretches, there's all kinds of things, but they are also really getting in there to the root of the problem.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah, through the vagina. Through the vagina.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

What I like is the resources before and before anything happens and getting you stronger and more prepared. And it's just kind of like working out in our 30s and 40s before our 50s and 60s. Yeah, yeah. I love that. Same mentality.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

What do you think helped really evolve and change the conversation surrounding uh pelvic floor therapy and women's uh supporting women's health post-birth and pregnancy?

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah, I think it was twofold, Jen. One is that we weren't having these conversations. Everything was just kind of hidden behind our closed doors of our bedrooms and in our homes. And social media really changed that where we started posting, and I can say it for myself, you know, the real deal behind postpartum recovery. It's icing our vulvas, it's, you know, our C-section scars healing, it's taking your first poop after birth. It's you know, so yeah. So it's all of the using the Perry bottle, you know? And so it's all of these things that we were all doing behind closed doors, but now having a platform to say, like, hey, this is what I'm doing. This is what every postpartum woman is doing. Right. This is the real deal. So kind of starting to have those conversations. But I also think it's women like yourselves starting to advocate for themselves and telling their friends, yes, hey, this is available. Why didn't anybody tell me about this? Going to their medical providers and saying, I want to go get this therapy. Like, why didn't I know about this? So it's like us as pelvic floor therapists sharing these tips and insights and information, and then also mom saying, I want this care going during pregnancy and after birth to get the support that they deserve.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Yeah. And that's what's so powerful about this podcast. Like I told you, an opportunity to share things with other women that they may not know. And even like I would say a lot of women my age know it, but not yours. Like, no, they don't.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

And she said, Oh, they're not normal. It's never too late. But I also think it helps people feel less alone. Yes. When you're sharing these vulnerabilities about motherhood or postpartum recovery or pelvic floor problems, so many women are experiencing them, but we're not talking about them. So it just helps people feel less alone, like, okay, I'm not the only one. I'm not, you know, this is actually quite common. Right. And so it just really helps us feel like we're in this together and that there is a way to get better.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Yes. And I think that's key because we know so we've been told that this is normal. Right. But it's not. Right. It doesn't have to be. Right. It doesn't have to be.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Or you can change it. And uh speaking of talking about not having these types of conversations and people having to advocate for themselves, when it comes down to it, what is something that women ask you often that you get a lot that they're embarrassed about, or that they shouldn't be embarrassed about this?

SPEAKER_02 21:54

I love when people ask me questions. I'm like, these four walls of my clinic are like the chamber of secrets. So you just like if you're not gonna talk about it here, where are you gonna talk about it? I mean, I would say a lot of it has to do with sexual pain. So discomfort during intercourse. Um, why is it hurting? You know, difficulty with orgasms. Some people were feeling I've never been able to have an orgasm. Like, is something wrong with me, or an orgasm hurts, or I can only have an orgasm with clitoral stimulation instead of vaginal stimulation, which is very normal. 90% of orgasms happen that way. Um, I think some other things are kind of more intimate issues like queefing, which is like a vaginal fart, um, sometimes leaking during an orgasm.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Well, she just talks about everything, doesn't she?

SPEAKER_02 22:34

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Jonah's ears over there perked up. Let us continue. Um I thought we were just going post, you know.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

You're right. But it's really, and I mean, even we've had older women who are post-menopausal. They're in their second phase of life, finding new partners, wanting to become sexually active again. And they're like, what do I do? I haven't had sex in years, you know? Like, who do you talk to about this? And I'm like, I've got just the plan.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

We're gonna send her to the vagina wisher.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Wow. This, you're really expanding a lot of usage here for the vagina. You're expanding the vagina here.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

It's it's ribs to pelvis, ribs to knees, is what we treat, but I love it. Like, I love when people feel comfortable talking to me about this because I talk about it all day, 40 hours a week. I'm like, this is all that I do. It's dinner table conversation for me.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Your 11-year-old knows what a tan pack is.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah, exactly. And he's a boy. And he's a boy, exactly. So it's one of those things that I think I like being a resource for people and helping and be like, oh, that's not weird at all. Like, let's chat about it because otherwise we're just going down rabbit holes on the internet.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Normalizing conversations, making it feel okay. They don't have to feel embarrassed to ask a question. Absolutely. Because wanting to be better and feel better shouldn't be embarrassing at all. It's a great way to put it.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

But the thing that keeps coming back to me is that something can be done about this. Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Aren't you so glad? This is your first step into therapy now.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

It's it is. You told me.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

She's going to be in it.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

She's going back into vagina therapy. She's gonna skip the topic. People better watch out.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

My husband's open in for a surprise. Oh my God. Well, so what are two to three simple takeaways that women can start doing now to support their pelvic floor health?

SPEAKER_02 24:19

The first to learn how to pee properly. Oh, that's hearing it. It is because it's everything we do.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

I've actually listened to her talk about pain, and it's weird that sometimes Okay, so we're fixing to find out if we're doing it right or not.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

Um, a lot of people think about me when they're peeing, which is like so funny. Yeah. Because I'm like, I wonder if she knows. I know that's she's whispering to you, Dad. She's whispering. Um but again, nobody teaches us this. So we talked a little bit about try to avoid the just-in-case peas. Okay. So only go when you have the urge to go. When you do go, sit down on the toilet. Don't hover. Unless it's really yucky, like you're at the baseball park or you know, a porta potty during madigras or something. But otherwise, you should be sitting down because that helps your muscles fully relax. And the biggest is don't push when you pee. I think as moms, we are notorious for power peeing because we want to be efficient and get out of there and onto the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

Especially when your grandsons won't let you pee and you have to ask for permission. Exactly. Um, no, that that yes, I think that's a big one. Yeah, I guilty.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yes. You're not alone. And so I I say sit down, lean forward, and just breathe. And your bladder is actually a muscle that will push the urine out for you so that you don't have to push. If you do push or strain, it weakens your pelvic floor muscles, it can stretch your pelvic ligaments, and then it can actually cause incomplete emptying because your muscles tighten up instead of relax.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

So just sit, chill, and pee. And do you think me starting this now, because I have not been doing that at the age of 62 can still change things and improve? 100%.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

There's still hope for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

There's hope for my vagina. I know.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

I mean, we've had women come in in their 80s and 90s and they're like, I'm so glad that you're here. I mean, this body part is with us for the rest of our lives. You always have to use it. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Yeah. Hopefully you get to use it. You know. Um relaxing when you go.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Sitting. Sitting, relaxing, and just breathing and not pushing. So I would say enough. The second tip would be how you poop. So we're gonna go there. Um, I recommend that everyone puts a pooping stool underneath their feet. Oh, I love hearing that. She does. It's my housewarming gift for all of my friends.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

It's so and it's so great. My husband actually got it for us, I think in 2020. Yeah. He got us uh a squatty potty. And at first I thought it was weird. My husband like loves podcasts and loves like self-help stuff, is always listening to things. So he learned it first. And then I actually saw you showing how to use it with her clothes on.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

With my clothes on. You know, sometimes I've done them before with my clothes off.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

And then I'm gonna good. So that's good to know that we can also get a visual of you doing this, going to your uh Instagram vagina whisper.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

And so that helps prevent straining. Straining during bowel movements can weaken your pelvic floor more than running, coughing, lifting, jumping. Yeah, I can't believe you don't have a squatty potty.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Okay, let us just let her whisper. I don't need your whisper. She's the whisper.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

So that's the second thing. And then I would actually say the third thing is to exhale with exertion. And I we don't talk about this one as much, but if you're lifting weights, instead of holding your breath while you lift, I would breathe out. When you're lifting your kids to put them into the car, please. Because she doesn't lift weights. She lifts kids, which is like lifting weights. But um, when you lift something heavy, to not hold your breath, because that can put pressure toward your abdominals, which can lead to a hernia or diastesis rectile, it puts pressure towards your pelvic floor, which can lead to weakness or prolapse, it can lead to a hernia. So, you know, exhale with exertion, lifting your kids, uh pushing furniture, lifting weights, just be thoughtful when you go to the gym next, be like, Am I holding my breath or am I exhaling?

SPEAKER_01 28:00

I will be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

I feel like she's giving away all of her secrets. So we need to ask her at what point do people actually need to go see a pelvic floor therapist?

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Two things. I mean, my in my dream world, you'd see one at every stage of life when something is changing, when you become sexually active, when you are pregnant, when you are a postpartum, when you're perimenopausal, and then post-menopausal. Like having these check-ins when we know our pelvic floor is changing, I almost wish it was like going to the dentist where you just had an annual check-in to see how things are going. And then got a little tune-up if something was awry. But I would say if you are experiencing these symptoms and like these home tips, tips and tools, if you're experiencing these symptoms and the home tips and tools aren't working, then you should go. Like if you try all this and you're like, I'm still leaking, or sex is still painful, or I'm still straining with bow movements, and or they're painful, go see an in-person therapist if you have access to one. There can you can also do telehealth. I have an app called The Vhive where you can do a ton of things at home. Yes. I know I love it. But I think that nothing beats in-person care, but there's a lot of ways to access this care if you it's better than not. It's better than not, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Well, I love all of those answers. And but we still have even more questions because I did let our listeners ask some questions, and I just took a few because there was a lot of questions. And some, you know, and you mentioned this earlier that you you see a benefit in going to pelvic floor therapy while you're trying to conceive. Yeah. Elaborate on that. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

So your pelvic floor is going to go through a dramatic change during pregnancy. We talked about this hammock, you know, of your pel as your pelvic floor that is supporting a growing baby during pregnancy. And if you think about in the beginning of pregnancy, your baby's the size of a blueberry or uh then a lemon, then a papaya, towards the end of pregnancy, your, you know, the little baby is the size of a watermelon.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

You got a baby.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Exactly. So that hammock of pelvic floor muscles is supporting a watermelon, which is going to make it sink down lower, get stretched out, get weaker. So if you're able to see a therapist to say, like, how is my pelvic floor right now? Is it tight and tense and I need to work on relaxation? Can you teach me how to do pelvic floor contractions or kegel so that when I am pregnant, I know what to do before this is changing? How do I pee and poo properly so that I'm not, you know, straining my pelvic floor?

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Because Especially while you're pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

Because the constipation is real because of all the progesterone changes. How do I modify my workouts during pregnancy? What do I need to do differently? So I think that there's just a lot of, again, preparation that we can do before those changes start.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Right. And that's actually a part of the next question. She asks, at what point of pregnancy should she start pelvic floor therapy? But it sounds like if you know you're about to start trying, go ahead and get into pelvic floor therapy. But then she wants to know, is it ever too late in pregnancy?

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Oh, no. I mean, I've had moms come in at 37, 38 weeks. They're like, I'm having this baby in a week or two and I need you to teach me how to push. And I was like, okay, well, we've got 45 minutes. I'm gonna do the best I can. But so it's never too late. I mean, I've seen moms for like ideally I'd see them at every once every trimester, and then probably do a birth prep session teaching them how to push and how to prepare for postpartum. But there's a lot of information you can even get just in, you know, one session of just not even just pushing and labor, but even postpartum recovery, like again, your first ball movement, scar care, how do I pick up the baby without straining my abs or my pelvic floor? I mean, there's so many tips and tools that we can give you that unfortunately you're not getting from kind of those day those sessions with the doctor.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Isn't it so crazy that there's so much more support and help that we could have not discussed enough?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Being discussed more now, but it's not always like right at our Well, and what I love about it is it's us taking care of our bodies for our future.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

For our future investing in our future selves. I mean, that's just cute.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

You love to invest. I do, I do. Well, you've got to.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

I love that mentality too, because I think we think about like, oh, right now it's not that big of a deal. I don't have to jump in the bounce hell. Or, you know, we can just use lube when we have sex, or I'll just change my underwear, right? If it gets wet. But we're not thinking about, I want to be able to pick up my grandkids and play with them. I want to be able to travel with my friends after I retire. You know, um, I want to be able to take a flight and not have to worry about access to the bathroom. So all of these things really do make a difference in our day-to-day lives now and in the future. We just, to your point, you've got to kind of do the work now. And it feels overwhelming and it's really not that much. It's like, like I said, brushing and flossing your teeth now so that they stay healthy in the long run.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

Yeah. Cause they're if you, you know, when you go into public floor therapy, you'll see that while they are doing things with their hands to to figure things out to better support you. It's just a lot of exercise and things you can do on your own in the morning while you're brushing your teeth. Yes. You could be sitting in this squat position while you're brushing your teeth.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Maybe even in the car. Yeah. You know, as you're driving. Yeah. I don't know what these exercises are. Well, I'm gonna be doing it now.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Okay, so I this this is actually my personal question. So, with all of these things that you say that we can do to support our bodies with exercises, what are your thoughts on vaginal rejuvenation procedures? What do you think of that?

SPEAKER_02 33:21

So it depends on what it's for. And it's two things. So vaginal rejuvenation can entail internal rejuvenation. So if the tissues are thin, weak, you know, not as supportive as you'd want, there are um lasers that you can use internally that help kind of produce more collagen in the area and help plump those tissues up, it can help leakage, improve sensation with inner course, improve orgasms. And there's also cosmetic vaginal rejuvenation. And that's along the lines of if the labia are asymmetrical or larger than you'd like, trimming that labia so that it's not as bothersome for you. So for some people, it's functional because it can irritate their tissues when they're exercising or maybe it's less comfortable in their underwear, wearing pants. But then it could also just be like, I want my vagina involve it to look a certain way. We call them designer. We call them designer vagina. Um, but I will say there are a lot of nerves in this area. So there are some folks who can get this done. You should absolutely go to a surgeon who only does this procedure.

SPEAKER_04 34:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Because it's, you know, if they're doing a bunch of other cosmetic stuff and every once in a while they do a vulgar, we call it a vulvo plasty or vaginoplasty. I would want somebody who like just specializes in this.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Because, like you said, there's a lot of nerves and there's a lot of things going on.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

Yes. And um, so I think if it's for cosmetic, it's just like getting any other cosmetic procedure, it's really up to you. Yeah. But then I I think if it's more for function like intercourse, sex, leakage, those things can be a boost to help pelvic floor function, but they're short term. You either have to keep doing them, like the laser treatments or injections, or you they can kind of help boost symptoms, but you've still got to do the exercise long term. Oh, okay. It's just like it's like anything. Yeah, no, it's not. It's like you know those little STEM units you they used to show to play in your abs or your muscles. Like that's fine, but like, is it giving you true strength? Because once you stop using it, it it all goes away. Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

That was your question. Uh was that your question?

SPEAKER_03 35:15

Yeah, because a lot of people talk about it. A lot of people my age are talking about vaginal rejuvenation. And actually, I have a friend who performs vaginal rejuvenation. It's actually really cool. She used to be a baby nurse and then uh OB nurse practitioner. So she's very uh familiar with the vagina, and I think she will be great at that. But I like hearing that adding the additional support of doing those workouts and things to prolong your uh results.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

And it's like for anything, yeah, right. It's even like being on GLP1s, like we can get lose weight, but to build muscle and maintain muscles, you have to strength train. Like there's no other way about it. But I think the biggest thing for me is I love that women have options. There is no magic pill or treatment or anything that's gonna take all of this away forever. You still have to kind of know what to do and how to prevent it and how to treat it. But I also want women to feel good in their bodies. I mean, when you are a mom or you've been pregnant or given birth, or we go through so much and to feel like your body is broken sucks.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

And so to give women the confidence to be able to feel the way the way they want to feel, to look the way they want to look, to function the way they want to function is important, really important and not to be underestimated.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

And to know that there's lots of options out there and you don't have to feel shameful because you want to feel better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

And and and here's the deal. I mean, fortunately or unfortunately, even at 62, the husband wants to keep having sex.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

So we're gonna have to keep this up for a long time. So we can either enjoy it. Well, you will be there too one day, little missy. You can either find ways to make it pleasurable and enjoyable and learn to work, learn to make those preparations so that he doesn't just get all the pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Well, that's what I was gonna say is that I want to have pleasurable sex for the rest of my life. I don't want to just feel like, okay, I'm just gonna check the box and let me just endure this. And I want to have great orgasms for the rest of my days, you know? And so it's a way that we can feel good in our bodies. Once again, what you just we deserve that.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

Right. Again, not feeling embarrassed or wanting to enjoy your life. Right, exactly. Yeah. Uh I did have um oh, sorry, there was one more question that somebody else asked. I didn't want to forget them. But is there a simple way that you can check at home? Oh my gosh, wait, I didn't even ask you how to pronounce this because I feel like I never know how to pronounce it. Um how you diastasis recty? Diastasis rectus.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

And I'm not gonna even attempt it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Is there a simple way to check at home to know if you have that?

SPEAKER_02 37:46

So diastasis recti is a separation of the midline of your six-pack abs. So if you've ever seen, I have never seen my six-pack abs, but I hear they're there.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

It's just covered with a layer of Popeyes for a chicken.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

And you see them, you know, on a screen or a picture, you can see that there's like a little white line in the middle, and that's called your linea alba. And it's just an area of connective tissue. What happens during pregnancy is that that tissue gets really stretched out. That's what we would think is normal. It is normal because your baby is growing in your belly and it needs to stretch. But what happens is that that tissue doesn't always kind of get taut and come back together. And so it's really common. It's not 100% of women get it, like I didn't get it. And then, but you can, it will persist postpartum for many women. The way that you check is you lie flat on your back, completely flat on the ground, legs are straight, heads down. And then you are gonna curl like you're doing a crunch, curl your head and your shoulders off the table. I mean, off the ground. So it's almost like you're doing a mini crunch, but you'll your six-pack abs will flex, but then you'll kind of feel in that midline above the belly button, at the belly button, and below, and you'll say, like, does it feel like my fingers are sinking into my guts, or does it feel like I've got a trampoline of tissue there? Or you'll even see like a little coning or doming in the middle.

SPEAKER_04 39:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

You can see that, and that especially happens during pregnancy. It looks like there's like a little football coming out the middle, and that's diastasis recti. All this does is give you information about your body that you've got a little bit of weakness at the midline. Doing some deep core work, some pelvic floor work can help cinch that up.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

And that can help exercise can help improve up.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Oh, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Absolutely. It's all your pelvic floor and your deep core muscles work together. So the benefit is that when you're doing pelvic floor or core work, it benefits both.

unknown 39:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Cool. That can be your workout. You've been trying to get more workouts.

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Yeah. Uh but this is also a personal question for me because now that you have, you know, met my mom and see how she is in the generation she came from. I would like to know what your mom thought when she first got when you started sharing the vagina was for her on Instagram. And then again with your costume. She has a beautiful vagina costume. I do that she likes to.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

I have to go on her Instagram just to see this costume. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Well, it's funny because um Jen and I were talking before this, and she was like, Will you wear that costume?

SPEAKER_01 40:10

And I was like, I can't believe you didn't get her to do that.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

No, well, I wanted a new one in the mail that I like travel with my traveling Volva, but it didn't come in time. But we were we were on the same page to try to just get a little shock value out of that. But you know, my parents are incredibly supportive. And I think they I'm the youngest of four kids. So when I started this, they were like, Oh, this is just something Sarah's doing, you know, like she's out here doing her wild stuff. But I think more than anything, they're really proud. And because my my mom is 76 and her generation did not talk about these things. And she's also Asian. And so culturally, it just these are not conversations. You don't talk about periods or your body or sex or anything. So she's just really proud that she's like, you're doing really good work. And the funniest though is my dad, who's also just my biggest fan, greatest supporter, he's so wonderful. And a couple years ago, he was like, Hey, honey, like, you know, I was on Facebook and I saw this thing. Like, what's the name of that social media thing you do again? I go, the vagina was he goes, vagina.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Vagina. And to hear my father say those words, I was like, that's in the I'm unhinged, you know? That's hilarious. But they're great. I mean, and my husband That's fantastic. Yeah. I get the same question about my husband. Like, what does he think? And I'm like, he's the one taking the videos half the time, you know? And so it's just they love that I'm passionate about this. They love that I'm doing meaningful work. They see me, how happy it makes me, and how how much I love it. And I think they're just endlessly supportive.

SPEAKER_03 41:42

Well, yeah. And then once you were informed of what exactly vagina whispered in your life. I want to be a part of the vagina. Yeah, I did. I did.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

And I well, but I and I like how she says it's from your first period.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Um, and it's kind of like the dentist, you know? Oh, your first period all the way through urinality because things don't get better.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

I don't know how to put this out to y'all. I don't know. I don't want to, I don't I don't want to rain on the parade right here, but let me just say things don't get better down there. They don't thank you. Don't worry, we can step into something else other than your vagina.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

And let's get into our hot mama QA. So these are not vagina-related questions, but these are questions that my uh followers have submitted to us like before we even started the podcast. I told him that we were starting one and some questions they wanted to ask us. So I thought all three of us would answer. I'd love that. And uh what is one thing that your mom did to make your childhood special that you carry on with your own kids? Do either of you want to answer that first?

SPEAKER_02 42:46

Um we have dinner together every night. Um when I was growing up, my mom cooked every night. We just had dinner at the table, and if you were home, you ate. If you didn't, but you didn't sit in front of the TV. We didn't go get it all this different times. Like we sat down for a family meal if you were home, and I do that with my boys. Like, even if my husband's traveling or there's just two of us, I mean, we will sit from one another and just and sometimes we have something to talk about, sometimes not, but it's a consistent practice in our house.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

I think you like that. I do, I do, and I was gonna say Sarah and I are on the same page because yeah, that was very important uh growing up too. We absolutely had this. So they love to set the table. Yeah, we set the table. That was from our podcast before. Um but yeah, dinner at home and especially without the phones.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

Oh, do you think no screens, no reading, no distractions.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Yeah, and conversation. And um uh and I think we did that growing up too. But I will add one more thing. When we were growing up and we had our birthdays, um, the next morning when we got up to go to school, we could have a piece of birthday cake. Did you do that for school?

SPEAKER_03 43:45

Did you do that for us? No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

I didn't want you I don't want to eat cake in the morning.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

That I do for your knees. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

Sorry.

unknown 43:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

I should be trained for my job. I will apologize for that.

SPEAKER_03 44:01

How about, you know, I've got another birthday this year. You can bring me birthday cake on the morning. Hey, I will eat it with you. Let's do it. Uh, I'll say something that I think you did for me that I do with my kids is you're really silly and you make up songs and you're just, you know, playful. Yes. And I'll do that with them. Uh, because it makes them so happy. And you still do that with them too. So I, you know, I try to be and I would have to say Lolo was very playful with us too. So I don't see Lolo as very silly, but she's not silly too.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Uh she did uh uh musical chairs with Okay, fine, fine, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

Okay, okay, yes, she did. Ooh, this is a good one. Uh, what's something you've never told your mom that you did, or something that's happened to you that you never told your mom to Can you go first?

SPEAKER_02 44:50

And I need a second to think about this one. All right, I I will go first. I will go first.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Um, and that is I actually, when I was in college, had a boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend, hit me and give me a black eye. And that is something I never told my mom. And there was a couple of things here. Uh we had broken up. What? She's gonna find out now on the podcast. Well, that's okay. She won't watch it. And then she's 92, she won't remember. But uh, we were at a uh going out with a bunch of friends, he wanted to get back together, and I had told him no, and he just hauled off and punched me. And immediately I was very embarrassed, and and I was ashamed, and I didn't want anybody to know. Now my group of friends knew because they were all there with me, and they immediately pulled him away, surrounded me. So a few things with this, and one is is I didn't want to tell my mom because I didn't want her, I didn't want that to hurt her. I didn't want she her to feel bad. And for in my mind, that's how I thought she would feel. And then two, with my friends there, the support of my friends was everything because they saw what happened, and I would have been embarrassed to get back with him again, knowing that my friends knew that he did that to me. So the support of the friends was very important. And lastly, I was I was embarrassed because I thought I'm a confident person, you know. You were surprised it could happen to me. I was surprised it could happen to me. And that's kind of what struck me the most. And it really can happen to anybody. And I'm glad now, and we're talking about generational things, topics that are not talked about. I think now the narrative has changed, and now the perpetrator does get the blame and the shame. And I shouldn't say he, uh, the perpetrator gets the blame and the shame, and that's where the it should be. And I think that's changed a lot. Right, because you were saying you were embarrassed. I was embarrassed. He shouldn't be. He should be embarrassed. And if my friends outside who knew what happened saw, I told them I got hit on the dance floor last night. I was embarrassed about it. And I'm glad to see that that has changed.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

So what would you do differently now then if that had happened to you in today's world? I guess call the police. Yeah. You would have to. Yeah. But back then you didn't.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Oh, that was no one even thought of that. That was well. Wow, that's a big one. But good on you for sharing. Yes. And like I say, the biggest thing I take away from it was the embarrassment and hurt to me because I felt how could that happen to me?

SPEAKER_02 47:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

And so that's now why I don't mind sharing it with other people. So many people probably feel that way. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

And then the support of your friend people knowing, telling people, and then you have that support is huge too. Because had people not known, I wouldn't have told anyone. Right. I might have gotten back with them. That's crazy. Lots of things going on with that. So good on you. Thank you, Sarah.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

Um, that's a big one. I I just want to follow it, I do, but I don't know. It's uh it's much not as huge. But um, you know, now that we're thinking I thought about it. When I was in high school, I went to Planned Parenthood and put myself on birth control without telling my mom. And I used to go and sneak visits after school and have appointments. And because I was having sex and I didn't want my mom to know, and I didn't want to ask her to bring me to the doctor to get on birth control, but I was like, I know I want to be on this. And so it was the Planned Parenthood that was on Magazine Street. Um, it's not there anymore, but when I was in high school, it's 1998 and 99, and I would go and get my birth control every month there. And one time there was a bomb threat, and we had to, I was in the middle of an exam and we had to all walk across the street. And I remember sitting on Magazine Street in front of the Popeyes when the bomb squad came in to clear the place out, to give us like, okay, everything's safe. And I'm going, this is supposed to be an anonymous place, and I am like on the Magazine Street sitting because I'm going to Plan Parenthood. But that was like when I was young, I was like trying to be responsible. And I wanted to do what I knew was right for my health and for my life.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

But I was also scared to talk to my parents about it. And so it was something where I was so glad that resource was available because it could have changed the course of my life it if it wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

But, you know, I didn't I never told my mom because I didn't want her to know. And she and and she still doesn't know to this day. It's like we don't talk about any of it.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Yeah. Which actually I had uh like I told you, I had the birds and the bees come on and talk to me about keeping that line of communication open with your kids because it was from your generation that they did not speak about that type of stuff. Or if they did, it was just this one time. It was this one time conversation. And so you would go to other people or like other uh facilities to seek help or information versus feeling comfortable enough to go to your mom.

SPEAKER_01 49:52

I have a question for you, Sarah. Did did a friend tell you about it? How did you find out about Planned Parenthood and feel that you could go without a parent? I mean, that was pretty big.

SPEAKER_02 50:03

Yeah. I mean, I'm uh I would say most people I'm pretty cavalier in my behaviors.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

I was kind of like Yeah, she is also dancing around in a vagina.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

I know, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 50:11

You know, I So those type of people that do those things.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

It's a great question, and I don't remember how I heard about it. I don't know if it was from my boyfriend or from girl other girlfriends, but I just remember knowing like I need to get birth control. Where do where can I get this? You know, but I found out from somebody I must have and knew that that was a place where you could go. So it was just something where I was like, oh, good thing this place is available because it gave it to me when I needed it, you know? And so um and I think that there's it's unfortunate because one, these places have closed down, but two, I think that there's there's so much that again, like we aren't always comfortable talking to our parents. Like I wouldn't care about telling my mom about that now, but when we're trying to be responsible a young adults, yeah, to have those resources available was just so I mean, I felt so lucky at the time. And then when the bomb threat happened, I was like, maybe this isn't the best idea.

SPEAKER_03 51:00

I know maybe I don't need to ask my mom to bring me to the doctor. Right. Oh my god. But so for and and not that you should feel any type of shame in you doing what you felt was best for you then, but now, uh speaking to current day moms and daughters, would you say that you would hope that these girls would have the type of communication with their mom to where they could go ask and then go see a doctor? Or do you wish that like what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Both. I mean, I think that options are key. So I I I wish that there were facilities and places available and open for because not everybody has that type of parent who is open or community or culture or religion that is supportive of this. And so I think that having that ability to access that, but I do hope even as for myself as a as a mom of two boys, I the one of the best things about my job is talking to other moms. And I I'm like, when do you how do you talk to your sons about sex? Do you know what do you do? How old should I be thinking about this for them? And I learned so much from them. And so for me, I mean, I had to just explain to my boys the other day like what sex is, like the details of sex at nine and eleven. Yeah. Because if they're not hearing it from me, they're gonna hear it from somebody else or they're gonna see it somewhere. Right. And so we're kind of at this stage where we're trying to get ahead of things and to your point, crack the door so that they can come to us with questions, that we are kind of trickling in this information to make it a safe place for them to go. And yeah, I would love for you know, people to if it was my kids, come to me and be like, hey, I need to I need to go get something to have safe sex, and I'd be like, buckle up, let's go, you know. But that's that's me.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because you can't just you can't control everything that they do, but you can support your kids. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

And I there's always this quote I come back to. It's like, you know, the tendency is to want to give our kids a map, but what we really need to do is give them a compass. Yeah. And like just for them to say, like, I want to talk to my mom about these things. That is a safe person for me to talk to. You know, I think that's ultimately what I want is for them to have a good, a good directional sense, a good moral compass is to like, you're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna do things you maybe shouldn't be doing, but like just you can come to me and I'll be here for you.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

Yeah, which I know is so hard for you to hear because you would never give me a compass if you could, you could would control everything.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

But I would drive in front of them. Just follow me, get in the back safe, and work out like we're doing your life.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

Doing our life. I mean, I keep up and hang out. Similarly, but I also know the reality of like that's just not gonna happen. Right.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

It's and instead you don't want to push them away. You want them to want to want your guidance. Right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

But I mean, I have that same tendency of and to come to you for guidance. I've gotta remember that if I have kids again.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

I'm gonna have a vagina whisper and crack the door.

SPEAKER_01 53:55

I'm gonna raise my kids better. I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot.

SPEAKER_03 53:58

Yeah, well, I think we all learned a lot from Sarah today. So Sarah, please tell our what is that? Uh, because I have not heard your oh yeah. Well, uh, my mom is in the room, and you know what? It doesn't even matter because she read my diary. Yeah, so she already knows everything that I did. Well, you shouldn't have to. What do you have to say about that? Sarah is very disappointed in me to hear this.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

I have the desire to do that then. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 54:26

Here's the thing. She left it in plain sight underneath her mattress. What the? I mean, come on. She begged me. I never I did do it, and this might be another thing I can cancel for. Throw it in the You've been canceled since the last episode. So is um I don't even know what I have to say to that. I don't have much to say to that at this point. We can move on.

SPEAKER_03 54:47

Yeah. Well, the point is she already pretty much knows everything. And that's it.

SPEAKER_01 54:51

But I never punished you for I could that's something I feel like. I will shake your hand.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

God, I've got the thing. I will shake your hand for doing that. She didn't punish me for the things that she knew that I did. And I and you know what's funny is like sometimes I could kind of tell that like you knew certain things and you're sitting there and you're like trying really hard to get it out of me, but I wasn't going to give it to you because like I knew that you already knew, but you couldn't give into it. And there was no way that you would uh expose yourself. So I would just sit there and watch you.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

Like say this. Do your kids have phones? Do they check? They do. Do you read their text? I do. Hello. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

I didn't allow that.

SPEAKER_01 55:27

Write that.

SPEAKER_02 55:28

I know it's true. I do. And sometimes I forget to, but I don't think I forget. I just did it this morning thinking I haven't checked those texts in a while. Those chat through those uh little chats. But I, you know, it's funny because I told my older son, I said, you know, you should start writing down things. Like, you know, you're always thinking about when you have boys, like, how can we get them to express their feelings? So I said, You could write down in a journal. He's like, why? He'll just read it. And it's like, I was like, I promise I'll try not to. I mean, I'll try not to. Like, so I I'm with you. I'm kind of a control freak, but in my heart of hearts, I don't want to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:03

They're our most precious gifts, and I just wanted to make sure that we are not, I'm not missing anything.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

And you clearly and the details did do a great job. We did an outstanding job, though, because y'all have a great relationship and you raised an amazing job yourself.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Well, we talked about how there might be boundaries, but we step over them.

SPEAKER_02 56:21

So the acknowledgement and the boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

So let me just love that.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 56:31

Yes. Well, the vagina whisperer has whispered a lot to us today. We are so grateful. And please tell our listeners where they can find you. Where can they find you?

SPEAKER_02 56:41

So, as you mentioned, I'm on social media. On Instagram, I'm the Vagina Whisper. It's the dot vagina.wisper. And on TikTok, I'm the Vag Whisper, because TikTok doesn't like the word vagina. Yes. Um, but my website's called is the vaginawisper.com, where you can find out about my app um called the Vhive, which everybody can access. And we're gonna create a special code for your listeners to access it free for a month. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 57:03

She's gonna be the first one to use it.

SPEAKER_02 57:05

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Um You gotta show me how to do all that. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

That's true. And then um, I have a book out called Floored, a woman's guide to pelvic floor health at every age and stage, which came out in 2025.

SPEAKER_01 57:15

Wow, congratulations. Thank you. It was on the in and all.

SPEAKER_02 57:18

It was amazing. It was such a labor of love, but it's so awesome to hear so many women just feeling like they better understand their bodies. And they're like, I want to give this to my daughters or my daughters-in-law or my mom. So I love that. And you can find that wherever you can.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

I've already got two people. It's not you. I've already got two people.

SPEAKER_03 57:33

Great. I want to give it to. Great. Well, thank you so much again. And as I as she mentioned, you can follow her on Instagram at the Vagina Whisperer. And I do have a little gift for you that I'll give you after. But uh to all of our listeners, thanks for hanging out with us today. And remember that so much of the joy you experience in life is the joy you choose to see or that is whispered to you from the vagina whisperer. So get out there, soak up those moments, and keep showing up as the hot mamas you truly are. Thanks for listening.