Episode 6: She Was Adopting Twins… Then Found Out She Was Pregnant

Today’s episode is one that will truly stay with you.

We’re joined by Nichole Lee of Total Wellness Nutrition, and her story is one of unexpected motherhood, resilience, and redefining what “the plan” looks like.

What started as a journey through infertility led to the decision to adopt… and then, in a moment she never saw coming, everything changed.

Nichole went from preparing to adopt twins… to finding out she was pregnant.

And just like that—she became a mom of three.

This conversation is raw, emotional, inspiring, and a beautiful reminder that sometimes life unfolds in ways we could never plan—but exactly the way it’s meant to.

💛 In This Episode, We Talk About:

• What Nichole thought motherhood would look like—and how it changed
  
  
  
• Her journey through infertility and the emotional toll it can take
  
  
  
• The decision to pursue adoption and what that process looked like
  
  
  
• The moment she found out she was pregnant while adopting twins
  
  
  
• Navigating the overwhelming transition to becoming a mom of three at once
  
  
  
• The realities of early motherhood—chaos, beauty, and everything in between
  
  
  
• How motherhood reshaped her identity and perspective
  
  
  
• The importance of health, strength, and taking care of yourself as a mom
  
  
  
• Her experience with a hysterectomy and the emotional layers that came with it
  
  
  

🧠 A Few Takeaways You’ll Love:

• Motherhood doesn’t always look the way we plan—but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful
  
  
  
• You are stronger than you think, even in seasons that feel overwhelming
  
  
  
• It’s okay to grieve, grow, and find gratitude all at the same time
  
  
  
• Taking care of yourself matters—especially in the busiest seasons
  
  
  

🤍 Real, Honest Moments

This episode goes deep—but it’s also filled with moments that are relatable and even lighthearted, especially as we talk about:

• Life with three toddlers at once (yes… chaos 😅)
  
  
  
• Finding your rhythm in the middle of the unexpected
  
  
  
• The beauty in letting go of control and embracing what is
  
  
  

✨ Connect with Nichole

You can follow Nichole and learn more about her work here:
 👉 Instagram: @totalwellnessnutritioncoaching

🎟️ See Nichole Live

We’re so excited that Nichole will also be speaking at our upcoming event:

✨ Rooted in Motherhood Retreat
 📅 Monday, April 27
 📍 The Southern Hotel

This will be such a special day focused on connection, combating burnout, and growing your village—and Nichole will be sharing even more of her insight around health, strength, and caring for yourself in motherhood. Here is the link for tickets for the retreat→ https://theschoolofstyling.com/motherhood-conf

✨ Haute Mama Q&A
We wrap up with a fun listener question about Nichole’s fitness routine—because let’s be honest, we all want to know how she does it. 💪

💫 Final Thought
Sometimes the life you imagined looks completely different than the life you’re given.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t full, beautiful, and exactly what it was meant to be.

If this episode moved you, inspired you, or made you feel less alone, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

And as always…
 ✨ Keep showing up, keep trusting the journey, and keep being the Haute Mama you truly are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm Jen Perult, founder of Hot Off the Rack and Hot Mama Collective.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And I'm Liz Gridatti, Jen's mom, also known as the OG Hot Mama.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

We're mother daughter duo having real conversations about motherhood, health, life, and finding more joy in the everyday moments.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

And Jenny is known for her positive outlook and daily gratitude practice. And together, we're here to share stories, perspective shifts, and plenty of laughs along the way.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to feel like the hot mamas we truly are. Welcome to the Hey Hot Mama Podcast. I'm Jen of Hot Off the Rack and Hot Mama Collective. And I'm Liz Quadatti, better known as Ginny's mom. And we're so excited to have Nicole Lee of Total Wellness Nutrition today. And this episode, I'm so excited for that. I think I'm probably more excited than you are. Probably. You know what? And I'll tell you why. Because we have a lot in common with Nicole. In fact Both of us? Both of us. I know. You look at Nicole and you think you have more in common with her because she is very her name, you know, Total Wellness. Yes. Exactly. Yes. We haven't even let Nicole say hi. Nicole, yeah. Sorry. Nicole. Nicole here, too. Yes, Nicole is here. Nicole is here. Okay, thank you for having me. Yes, we're so well, you've heard. We're so excited to have you here. We didn't even let you talk. We did find. So, mom, I don't know if you remember this story, but you called me one day and we're on the phone. You're going to work out at PAC, and you're like, oh, Jenny, I am in the parking lot. You're like, I am in the parking lot right now, and there is this mother walking around with three children. They all look like they're the same age. I think they're triplets. I think they're triplets. Oh, she, I am so impressed with her. And I was like, does she look really fit? And you're like, yes, yes, she does. And I was like, Mom, I know exactly who that is. That's Nicole. So you saw her before. And you were so impressed with Nicole, and I knew who she was. You were proud of her. Even though she had three kids, she was walking with two three of them to go into the gym.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I was probably fighting for my life, but that's very.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I spoke to myself. That could be my child. Is that my child? And I don't know. No, it's not me. But okay, so this is that is why you love Nicole so much. But you're also gonna really like her because of her adoption story, which is why I love her because I want to adopt one day. I have always wanted to adopt. And then when I heard that Nicole did, I loved hearing her story. It only motivated me and inspired me more to want to adopt. And I know that you are a casa, right? So you are working with kids who are in foster care who I know that the goal is usually to get them back to their parents, but sometimes they do get adopted, and you're part of that process. So you get to you get to see what the back end looks like. And Nicole and I have a lot of mutual friends, but we actually met during Mardi Gras. As you remember, I told you all I am no longer the lieutenant of my float, but now Nicole has stepped up as lieutenant for another one.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I was a sergeant for the last, I guess, seven years, and then our lieutenant, like Jen, stepped down, and so I've stepped up.

unknown 3:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah, so see, there's a lot, there's a lot of weaving and I think this is all meant to be right here. So we're really gonna get into her story, and this is such an impactful story about motherhood that this will stay with you forever. I heard it about a year ago, and it's always uh just really inspired me that someone could go through all of this and make so many amazing decisions. And Nicole's gonna tell us all about it. So thank you. Before we get really deep into it, why don't you just tell us a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Okay. So my name is Nicole Lee. I own Total Wellness Nutrition. Um my husband and I have been married, it'll be 14 years next month. We have three three-year-olds, which we'll get into. Um, so yeah, we live in Mandeville, Louisiana, and we're just juggling life, owning a business and three toddlers. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Wait, what which business besides what does your husband do? He is a physical therapist. Okay, awesome. Yes. Awesome. So I'm sure y'all are able to really speak to both of each other's work then. We do.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

We have um, yeah, the tug and pull of ISLA one thing is like, well, you're not calling that the right thing, especially because I am a fitness coach as well at a local gym that Liz and I both go to. And whenever he takes my classes, I'm cueing something. He's like, you know, that's not the right muscle. I'm like, yeah, but they know what I'm talking about. So it's fine. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

And they don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

They don't know what it's not the right muscle.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

I don't know what's happening. Call me out in my code. It's making sense to them. You mentioned you have three kids under three. Yes. Tell give us a mental picture of what that looks like, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Because it sounds like a circus to me.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

I don't think it's a total three-ring circus. Um, it's if you've ever met a three-year-old, you know that they are just a circus in themselves. So three of them together. It's chaos. It's beautiful, messy chaos, but it's chaos. So right now, I'm finding that the trickiest part of my day is the hour before my husband gets home and I'm starting to cook dinner. And I need them to get out of my hair. Just go play, either go outside or to their playroom. And the other day, I'm cooking dinner and they're in their back in the playroom. My mom pops over and she's like, It's quiet. I was like, I know, isn't it nice? She's like, but that's dicey. I was like, I know, but I'm really enjoying this. She's like, okay. So then I call them out, and the three of them come waddling out, covered in a white goo. And I'm like, what? And my daughter, who is the ringleader, Mama, we did our lotion and they are covered. I'm talking cheeks, arms, legs. My son has curly blonde hair. It is dripping from the back of his curls down his earlobe. And I walk up, I'm like, okay, and I smell it, and it's a smell I recognize, but I know it's not a lotion in my house. So I was like, okay. So I go to the back and I find the tube of toothpaste, the strawberry white toothpaste. They have squeezed out the entire tube. It they have covered their bodies with it. They have covered in their playroom, they have a day bed, the pillows, the comforter, everything. That's just a Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

All over the miniature.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

My mom died. My mom would have to be a little bit of a few. Oh, yeah. But what did I do to deserve this? I am not mature enough for this. Thank God my mom was there, but she bounced very quickly to your mom. Oh no, she left you with the oh, I'm so sorry for reservations. I gotta go. Oh my god. So it's fine. But that's just it's it's they're always up to something. They're just I love that you say your daughter. She is the ring leader. God knew I only needed one daughter, and she is the boss. It's I love it. It terrifies me, but I love it.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

So I need to breed. Where's our margaritas? I know. We should have brought margaritas to the margarita.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Most of the time. Hearing this circus that you have put on at your house, what did you before, before the circus, what did you picture motherhood would look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Oh, I pictured it, you know, the easy. And I would have this baby or this child dressed in a beautiful outfit every day, and their hair was combed, and their everything was perfect and easy, and they ate what I asked them to eat, and they slept when I asked them to sleep, and that is so not the case.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

I think we all dreamt of such things. Absolutely. I thought the same thing. I thought I'm gonna have this cute little baby all dressed when her daddy comes home, and I'm gonna walk out to the car and be like, we're both gonna be happy.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

And instead, they're in not matching pajamas. I haven't bathed in three days. I'm in the pajamas you left me in. It's just not that. And that's okay. I needed that perspective shift, and that's okay. I love where we're at. It's like I said, chaos, but it's it's great. It's great chaos. Yes. And did you always know you wanted to be a mom? Yes. We I always wanted to be a mom. I grew up with a brother and a sister, and I always pictured having this. Is my I always pictured a full kitchen table or full dining room table. I love that. Always just we had family dinners, we all had to eat together. It wasn't the TV was on, one was here, one was there. We all ate together, and I've always pictured that. And you thought that's the way it was gonna be. Correct. And my husband always wanted to be a dad. So when we were dating, when we got married, we knew we always wanted to be parents. That was always on the docket for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Well, when did you realize that that journey may look different for you?

SPEAKER_00 8:14

I feel like I was thinking about this kind of preparing for today, that I always feel like I had a feeling that it wasn't gonna be easy or just like black and white. So we were married in 2012. We decided it was time, like we stopped protecting and started trying. Um, I guess in 2015. And when it didn't happen, like everyone expects, okay, I'm gonna get pregnant this month, because that's what you know, when you first start trying, that's it's gonna happen. Yeah, that's right. That's how it's supposed to happen. So we it didn't. So I was like, okay, I'll go talk to my doctor and spent a couple months with my OB exploring different options, the basic beginnings of a fertility journey, some clomid, some progesterone, seeing where that took us. And then eventually we were referred to a fertility clinic and then started that journey from there. Was that sorry, go ahead?

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Oh, yeah, I wanted to ask, but they couldn't really find a pinpoint, a reason for why this wasn't happening.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Not at the OB. She was, I mean, we did all everything from let's try some progesterone. We went through all the little wives tail things, like take some cough syrup, lay with your legs up, let you know, all the things. All the things. Yes. Um don't stop running, maybe stop exercising as much. Don't stress out. Like, you know, sure, that's easy. And I think at this point you're probably willing to give anything a try. Yes, we did. And we tried anything. So, no, there was no, it was like your hormones are a little off, but not much, but some people need a little help. Um, so we did the Clomid. And with fertility, they usually say any plan that you start, whether it's Clomid, whether it's injections, whether it's time to intercourse, IUIs, they say usually after three tries of that one plan, it's time to move to the next option because now the chances of that happening, they usually don't suggest more than three times. Oh, I didn't think about it like that. Yes. So we did, I think, two months, two rounds of Clomid before she was like, all right, I think you need to go see my friend at the fertility clinic. And then we started IUI, which is or not IUI, we started um abdomen injections and timed intercourse, which is basically they watch you through the month, check how your follicles are growing, and tell you when to go home and have sex with your husband.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Which in itself is something to deal with because then you're like, all right, let's go. Go get that bedroom, you're on, you gotta perform.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

So how did you how did this like impact your relationship and your personal life?

SPEAKER_00 10:42

While we were in it, because we were so determined, yeah, that it didn't really bother us. I don't remember during it being like a struggle for us because we just wanted to be parents so badly. We wanted this to happen, we were gonna do anything we could. Yep. Yeah. As we were getting towards the end of our fertility journey, it was weighing on me. It was starting to, I was a pumped up with hormones for the better part of two years. My body was changing. I was a basket case. I was probably of not a great wife or friend because at that same time I'm getting the phone calls from friends and my sisters, everyone's having their babies. And I didn't want to be handled with kid gloves. But then I was upset when they weren't being sensitive to the fact. So it was, I know I was, I have guilt about that time of how I probably behaved. Not that there was anything I could really do about it in the moment, right? I do think I was feeling all the things that I should have and could have been feeling, but that's when it started weighing, when we're like, we're doing all the things, we're throwing all the money. Our sex life is solely based around conceiving that I was like, oh my gosh, I am I've lost myself. I've lost our our connection. It was hard. But I don't think when we were in this early stage of it, we were just in it. Right. So it didn't feel like that. It was towards the end where it was like, oh no, it's not it's not working. Yeah, like nothing's working. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Something that I think would be hard for me is being happy. I'm just being honest. A thousand percent. When you find out someone else is pregnant, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

I just it it was And I had that conversation with a lot of friends or with my family. It's not, or my husband, it's not that I'm not happy for them. It's just a reminder that I'm also not in that season with them. Yeah. And then of course, you have this irrational spiral of I'm gonna miss the wave of all my friends having children and I'm gonna have to make new friends. It was one of the, you're just, it's, you know, these were real fears that I I thankfully have not missed that window. But at that time, it felt like I'm missing it.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

A lot of people fear.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

And these I've you've had these friendships for years, and like I'm gonna lose it because I can't get pregnant over this, or you know, I'm watching it'll happen. And so it was hard to be happy, it was hard to put a smile on. I bowed out of a lot of things, but you know, it was hard. So we eventually got to IVF. We exhausted all options before. This is your next step. And this was 2017. So we started IVF at the very beginning of 17, it was January, February, and we did all the drugs. We went in for our egg retrieval, and they got 10 eggs, which now I know is not a lot, or I guess it's okay, it just depends. When we let them grow into embryos, we only got two that would have been viable out of the 10.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

But those two were not going to result in a full-term pregnancy. So we never got to implant.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Such a roller coaster. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

So now it's 2018. We kind of had started this in 1415 because we had gotten off of birth control, I think around 14. And when looking back, I'm like, we have just spent so much of our marriage, so much of our emotions, so much money. Because I don't know if y'all are familiar with IVF, but it's upwards of $30,000 before prescriptions. And we didn't even get to the second half of the procedure. So at that point, I was like, I need a tap out. And my husband was great, and he was like, You are running this ship, is what you want to do. This is your body. Yeah. This is what do you need? And I was like, I need a timeout. I need a timeout. And the doctor was like, We can do it again. Now we know we just need more drugs. And I just couldn't. I was like, we can't. I need, I need a timeout. And then moving from 17 forward, I knew, I wrapped my head around, I mourned it. I was not going to have children. They are my own children. We were gonna have children. We were still gonna be mom and dad. We were still gonna be parents. I was just okay with knowing that I wasn't gonna have them. Yeah. And so that was then we lived a lot of life. We got, we put ourselves first. I opened a business, we bought a boat, we bought a we did a lot of life between or after that to like 18 through 2022.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Oh, good for y'all. I applaud that.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

You could make that shift.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Do you think it was that break that give that break that you asked for that gave you the shift to make that decision? It was just taking that break to step back.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Yes, I think we knew or I knew that we were gonna be parents, come hell or high water. And whether that was that. I truly, I truly did at that, yes, truly trusted that we were gonna be parents. There are so many other ways for us to be parents, whether that was gonna come through a foster program or we were gonna adopt, and there are so many different ways to adopt, but we we weren't there yet.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Because I just I needed a break from all of it. I couldn't focus on being a parent right now. I needed to heal. We needed to be married and just live that season for a bit. And we opened a business and I started, you know, doing all kinds of other things that were gonna fill my cup other ways.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Yeah. I love that shift in perspective. It looks like Nicole reframed her situation. She did. She did. I bet you she talked to herself in third person. And it was like, Carol, we're gonna get three bit. And she was like, wait, well, you know what? Who knows that I don't, but maybe I should be. There is your chance now, Nicole. Here is your chance now, Nicole. If you could go back to that break, what will you tell yourself in that moment?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So it's funny. There's I haven't thought about that until this. A friend of mine sent me or sent a group of us a video of a video on Instagram. Let me look, because it says, Wake up and think God picked me for this. So whether it's the day, the struggle, the kid, the season, the tantrum, the heartbreak, I was picked for this. So if I could tell myself that, like you were picked for this, you will make it through this. It has to get better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

At that point, I completely agree for that. I love that. That is a daily and for everything. I've been for everything that lately. If you were trusted with this responsibility, with this journey, with this moment, you can do it. You were picked for it. I love it. That's what I've been trying to tell myself. Well, I love that. And then what's something that you would tell it, or what's something you wish more people knew about infertility? That people who are not experiencing.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Two infertility. Two things. One, just like the actual act of going through infertility. It's not a straight line. It's not like if we're at home trying naturally, you get to try each month. When you're going through a treatment plan with prescriptions and your cycles being monitored, there's a lot of breaks that are really discouraging because they set you up with a prescription plan and they track that cycle. And then if the cycle doesn't work and doesn't result in a pregnancy, they have to get those hormones back down to a baseline. And that sometimes requires a month or two of birth control. And that's a huge mind upset because I'm looking at it as, oh, I'm wasting two months. Yes. And look at all this time flying by or all this life flying by. And I could be trying right now, but you've got to wait for everything to come back to baseline before you can try again. So that was really hard. So that's one thing. If you've never been through fertility or you're getting into it, it's just putting it in the past. It's not on your time.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Patience.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Yes. Yes. And then on the emotional side of it is it's everyone is telling you, be patient, relax. It's gonna happen when it's meant to be. It's gonna happen when your body relaxed. I call bullshit. Yeah. Because I just don't, it's so easy to tell. How are you gonna tell a woman who's hopped up on hormones to just relax? Right. First of all. So sit in your feelings, feel the things, your emotions are valid, and then just take it day by day and listen to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

One step further, because I have a couple of friends going through this. What would you say would be helpful to those friends? Um, because I'm glad you told me that. I'm glad you told me that. Don't don't say that to a person. Don't tell them to relax.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Because you're you, you especially, I feel like your generation, no offense, really struggles. And never any offense to Ken. Well, just I just I feel like your generation dissolves her struggle by saying no offense. Right, right. With how do you talk to people experiencing infertility because when they were going through it, they didn't talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

I would say ask them where they're at as far as do you want to talk about it? Do you not want to talk about it? If you do want to talk about it, where are you at in it? Because sometimes I felt in that season I was talking about it all the time, or it was totally all-consuming. It's all I'm thinking about. So it's all I want to talk about, but I know that's such a bummer for someone to listen to Sob Story. So if you do have someone in your life going through it, check in on them because they're spiraling. Right. Ask them what they want. Ask them what they need, how they want, how you can help, or do you just want to talk rather than oh, it's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Because it may not be. Yeah, which is really tough for somebody like me. I always want to say that. It may not be. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. And honestly, I usually try and avoid conversations with people who are struggling through fertil it with infertility because I am such a positive person that I just want to say, like, this is it's all gonna work out the way that it's meant to be. But like, I'm sure they want to say, I I don't want it to be that way though. Right. I want it to be a different way, so shut up. I want it to be my way, not the right way.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Or yeah, even I am, I have faith, but even hearing people say, like, oh, it's God's plan, like, yeah, but it's not happening right now. Right, which was so hard. It was such a struggle having that. But yeah, I would ask them how they're feeling, check it out. And if they just want to sit in it with you, let them sit in it. Or if they're having a great day, that's great too. Let them have a great day. Yeah, because it's a roller car.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

And what led you to the thought of adoption? So we took our break. Yep. We you decided, you said you decided I am okay, or I shouldn't say okay. You have come to the acceptance that you made it on blessed your own child. Another way, yep, I completely now. How are we gonna do it? Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

So we had first looked into fostering. We had gone to a meeting, a church was hosting a meeting for potential foster families. And at that point, this was pretty soon after, probably pretty soon after. We just wanted to start getting some information. So we went, and I think the wound was still too open, and fostering the goal is to get the child back to their families. And I didn't want a a 10 year old. I didn't want a three year old. I wanted the baby, and especially small children, babies, they're usually going back to a family member. Yeah. So We went, I got all the information, and we both decided not for us. Maybe one day that's in my future, but right now that is not. I want a baby that I know no one's coming for. So again, adoption. So this was it was 2020, and my sister was having her second baby. She was about to have her second. And y'all know middle of the night anxiety and how irrational, middle of the night fear is. Okay. So I wake up in the middle of the night and I know my sister's about to have her second, and I am up panicking. I'm 33 years old, my husband's 36. We're not gonna have children. We are missing the boat. We've waited too long. We this is what are we doing? And I'm panicking. Like that middle of the night, it's totally irrational. It was by the morning. That feeling. Like that feeling, that's heaviness. Like I've I've been caught outside with my pants down of like, oh my God, I've missed it. So that after that, it was like, we gotta start some kind of ball rolling. And it was 2020. Of course, could be happens. So we did have a family friend who is an attorney who has adopted children of her own. She doesn't practice um adoption law. But she's familiar with it. So she sat down with us and just gave us the lay of the land. And we had decided at this point, let's try to explore this privately. Word of mouth, um, putting our names out to women's shelters, adoption attorneys locally, um, reaching out to NICU units or labor delivery units, just kind of networking, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

I did not know that.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

That's really cool. That's that's just out of curiosity, is that usually a faster track to the city?

SPEAKER_00 23:34

So what I learned was before COVID, it was. Oh. Before COVID, adoption attorneys or adoption law, they were getting more cases. Since COVID, the adoption rate had slowed because people weren't leaving the house.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

People were home. So women who maybe would have normally placed their baby for adoption, they were now home or had the help of family and they weren't going to adopt or weren't giving their baby to give up for adoption. So that had kind of shifted. I had spoken to a couple attorneys and they're like, we have your name, we have your file. Um, and then I had then we started doing our research on okay, if we are gonna go through an agency, which agency? Because there's so many. There's some are only open to accepting new families certain months of the year, some have a wait list, some you can jump on whenever you want, but the maybe the price is too high. Or so there's so many different things. So we did our research. We spent probably about a year trying to network that option that fizzled out. And then end of 21, going into the spring of 22, we picked an agency that we felt comfortable with. We interviewed, we vetted, we had done it all our research. And so March of 22, we interviewed. April of 22, we were, I guess you would call live. We were active with an agency.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

And when you say active with an agency, meaning the agency can call you up at any time and be like, we've got a baby for you. Correct. Wow. So so this started in 2020. You started the first part of the city.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

There was COVID. So there was a lot of there was a big pause because of that. But yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

But still, just for anybody listening right now and knowing how long this journey has been for you that started in 2015. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Wow. Now, when you say y'all were vid it, y'all were live. You said live. Yes. Um, now at this point, does the mother who wants to give up the child come in and select the family? So you're in a system, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:40

I'm in a system. So we had to, as the adopting family, we fill out a ton of paperwork as far as what we are willing to accept from the birth family. As far as race, you can go as specific as gender, um, twins, singles, multiples, um exposures, what the mother, because a lot of these adopting women or these birth mothers, they have exposures. They've been maybe drinking or taking drugs. And so you have to be open. So we did all of our research as far as what we would be willing, what we're comfortable with. It was a big, you know, it wasn't just like let's fill out some paperwork. Yes. We had to go through and really think about things that you wouldn't normally think about if you're just having a baby. So we did all that. The birth mother on her side also fills out a profile as far as what they want the family she's adopting into is or was. So then you make a profile book.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

If y'all are familiar with the book, I mean, if I think of that, the episode of Friends, I feel like the episode of Friends where they have this like book and they show like it's like a brag book.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Yeah. Where so when the birth mothers everyone's given their resume. Basically, yeah. So we make this hardcover book. I think it made made mine through Shutterfly. And it just, you want to show your family, highlight what your core values are, what you and your spouse do for work. What do you love to do as hobbies? What brings you joy? What does your home look like? Do you have pets? Do you have siblings? Is your family nearby? What is that look? Paint that picture. For these birth mothers to be able to, you know, confidently choose a family or their child. So we made our book, and the birth mothers are usually presented with two to four books, profile books, families, that all check their boxes and then they get to look through. And in some cases, they get to interview the adopting families. We never we met, but we didn't have like the true adoption, I mean, interview process because a lot of times you the birth mother chooses you while she's pregnant and you get to travel through some of her pregnancy with her.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

We did not, that was not our experience, but that's very common.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

So we did all that. That happened in May, where our we had submitted our profile book, we had gone through all of the things, and then we got our first phone call in May, like very shortly. It was very fast. I don't know that this is normal because I have talked to some families where like we've waited over a year to just get a phone call. We got our a first phone call in May. It was the end of April. Early May, I remember it was Jazz Fest weekend, and it was for twins, my social worker. So the adoptive family gets a social worker. And the birth letter gets a social worker. Our social worker called me and said, There's a mother with twins. She is probably gonna have them early before the end of May. I know you're open to twins, just wanted to confirm we can give her your book. And it's twin boys. Yes. Got it. Yes. Okay. I said, yes, of course. So I got to go home and be like, there might be twins in our like twin boys in our future. And it was really exciting. And then we hadn't heard anything. We're in May. Brandon and I are going on our 10-year anniversary trip. And it's Memorial Day weekend. And I'm like getting anxious. I'm like, I feel like she should have had these twins by now. Should I call? And Brandon's like, it's a holiday weekend. We are going away on our anniversary. Give it till Tuesday. We go on our anniversary. We have a lovely time. It's our 10-year anniversary. I get back on Tuesday. I find out birth mom has decided to parent. That is best case scenario. We want these birth mothers to parent their children. And selfishly, selfishly, they she didn't choose another family. No one was chosen over me. Selfishly. But I thought that's a heartbreak. That would be worse. Yes, I thought it would be worse. It would be worse to me. Best case scenario, she is parenting. She's chosen parent. The the twins were here and she's chosen to parent. Beautiful. Um we had gotten a couple other phone calls from families we had turned down. This didn't fit what we were wanting. June, I am late for my period. And I find out I'm pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

But this is, but but this is after though the twins didn't work out. Yeah, yes, yes. Wins did not end out you find out.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Well, hold on. But maybe we need to go.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

I need you to tell me. I need you to tell me like moment. Okay. I need a I need a picture. Sure. This is you're gonna love this.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Okay. So it is the early June. I am barely late. But at this point, we had turned down, I think, a baby, a placement. The twins were being parented by birth mom. That was off the table. That had we had left that alone. It was gone. It wasn't an option. So we're just waiting around for the perfect our our baby to come.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Well, wait, I want to hear how you found it. We're getting it too. Yes. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

So at this point, it's summer and it's early June, and we have two back-to-back beach trips. And I'm going to meet my best friend to go get her toes done before the beach. And I'm kind of late. I'm regular. I'm very regular clockwork on my cycle at this point. And I'm a few days late. Not like super late. Again, when I tell you, to my core, I close the door on thinking I could get pregnant. Every month I did not mourn a miscarriage. I really go past it. I had wildly, and it wasn't like a, oh, you let your body move out. No, this had been years. I had really, since 18, I really did. Truly to my core, I can confidently tell you, I did not plan on getting pregnant. So I had time to kill. And this is so silly. This is how my brain works. When I was in the habit of taking pregnancy tests often, whatever it was. And when you're in fertility, you are counting down the hours to know when you can get that first positive. Like I knew to a tea, like when as early as whatever, when I could take a test. Every time. I kid you not, every time I took a test, it was I started my period. That bathroom. Like when I went to the bathroom to take that test, my period had started. So in my head, I gotta go to the beach. I have two trips coming up. I need this period's come and go. So I revert back to really sound thinking. I'm gonna go take a pregnancy test. And my period's gonna start, and we're gonna get this show in the room. This semester is so funny. This is insane. So I had time to kill, I shouldn't see CBS, get a pregnancy test. I'm going to get my nails done. They make you wash your hands first. So I'm like, I'll go in, I'll go to the bathroom, I'll pee the test, washing the hands, boom, period's gonna come. It goes positive so quickly. And now I'm sitting at a nail salon with a positive pregnancy test in my clutch. And I call my friend, I'm like, wait, I got the chill. Are you? Where are you? She's like, I'm about to pull in. So I go in the parking lot and she comes in honking and she's like, Why do you look like that? And I tell her, I just took a pregnancy test. She's like, here? I'm like, I know. Yeah, here. And it's positive. And she's like, What do we do? I was like, I think we go get our toes done. And we sat our toes done. We sat and got our toes done with our jaws just like in our lap, being like, No, I'm not blind and love it how her husband was not the person. I mean, I honestly I they rarely are. No, they rarely. And it's so my best friend, she's married to my husband's cousin, and we were going on this family beach trip together. I've been very blessed with a best friend who is built-in family now. So also, so we get our nails done. I'm like, I gotta go tell Brandon. He was gonna go to Total Wine right after he gets off of work to go get all the booze for our beach trip. Sure. So I call him like, hey, I'm gonna pop in the clinic, I'll go to Total Wine with you. He's a physical therapist. I go to the clinic, everyone leaves, and I hand him the test, and he gets kind of annoyed. He thought it was a COVID test. Oh my god. And he thought I brought COVID into the clinic. He's like, I got old people here. Like, what are you doing? He's like, nope, look again. And then it was like, we kind of we cried, we kind of panicked, like, what do we do? I gotta call a doctor. What? And so this was we were going into Father's Day weekend, June. I we go to our first ultrasound at 10 weeks, four weeks to the day. We are at a pool party, and I'm pretending to drink because no one knows I'm pregnant. He is drinking, and I get a text message from our social worker, 6 p.m. on a Saturday. Hey, are y'all free to chat? And I look at my husband, I'm like, this seems urgent. It's 6 p.m. on a Saturday. And he's like I'm like, Are you gonna be able to get it together for us to have this conversation? Wait, because he's been drinking. He's been drinking by the pool. Yeah. And he's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're getting in the car, and I'm like, I'll call her from the car. So we call her and she's like, hey, I'm gonna buzz in another social worker. Can y'all chat? We're like, yeah, okay. So um, you guys have been chosen for twins Saturday. Could you come get them on Monday? The mother's really eager to place. We were like, uh, okay, yes. We're not gonna say no. Like we the answer was never gonna be no. Yes. But I'm I we don't tell them at the time that I'm pregnant, but I'm just like, oh my gosh, okay, yes. So we navigate yes. So then we go through all the questions. Where did these twins come from? Because no one's called me to say, hey, there's another birth mom with twins. They have to call the adoptive parents first and say before they look at the book. Yes, to be able to say, can we share you to this birth family? Okay, can we, would you be open to this placement? And I was like, wait, wait, wait, back up. Where do these twins come from? She's like, Do you remember the twins from May? And I was like, the boys that the mother chose to keep? Yes. Well, surprise, it was boy girl twins. She she did bring them home, but she's decided to now place. And she had chosen y'all. So that all happened. And so that whole weekend.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Okay, hold on. We have to go back for one second. How long have we been pregnant for at this point? Ten and a half weeks. And how long have you known for, though?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Uh ten and a half weeks. I get confused. No, eight. I was probably two weeks late.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

So I had known for like eight. Yeah. Because I found out early June. No, I probably had only known for a month because I I took the pregnancy test early June or mid-June, because it was Father's Day weekend. So let's call it mid-June. And then this was the very end of July. So about a month and a half, six weeks, call it. I knew I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Yeah. And was, I hate to ask this question, but I'm asking it now because we're here and not there. Yeah. But did a part of you want to say yes to the twins because you had never been pregnant before and you were like, I am gonna, I'm gonna be a mom. A thousand percent. I I would never have said that to you in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

No, please, a thousand percent. I kept my pregnancy really close to my chest for almost all of it.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Because I've never been pregnant through that whole time of infertility. I'd never been pregnant, and I count that as a blessing because I am the women who go through loss, that is a different level. And I'm thankful that I never had to go through that. But knowing that I've never been pregnant, I'm 35, this feels strange. I surely I'm gonna miscarry. The entire time I was like, surely this isn't real.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

I'm glad that you said that because I was wondering if you had that.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

Yes, the entire time I kept it really close. I went through all of the um genetic testing. I wanted to be very sharp with infant twins. So it was really just like But we actually need to go back to this phone call. We get the phone call. Yes, we get the phone call.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

You it's Saturday night. Yep. You have to pick up two babies by Monday. Please tell us this process.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Yeah. So we end up not bringing them home on Monday. We end up going up and meeting birth mom and the twins and the social workers and advocates for the agency were all there. We went and met her, and she got to have her interview with us essentially. She had chosen us, but she still wanted to meet us. So we had that. And then she was still, you know, in that's a huge decision. The decision process that these women have to go through to place their children. It is a gift for the adoptive families. I can't imagine the sacrifice and what they're going through. So I wanted her to have her time and take her time in this. So we ended up actually not bringing them home until Wednesday. We went and picked them up and brought them home on the Wednesday, but we got to meet them and kind of meet birth mom and have that experience on the Monday, and then we brought them home on Wednesday. What were you feeling?

SPEAKER_02 38:13

I have to ask you.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Okay, and then I'm after you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

But what was she like? What were you feeling at that meeting? Because you you said you met the babies with the mom at the time. Yeah, we got to hold the baby.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

No, we held them. You held them. Brennan and I held the babies through the meeting.

SPEAKER_02 38:30

How did that feel? Like there's the mom right now. Really kind of scary.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

It was, it felt like I was. If I breathed too deep, it was all gonna go away almost. Like it was, I had to be very delicate with my delivery. I wanted her to like, I'm such a people pleaser and rule follower by nature. I just want everyone to like me. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. So in that sense, I was fired up. I'm also 11 weeks pregnant. So like all of that's happening. And I'm thinking about all these things. So it was, I don't know. I think I kind of blocked out a little bit. Yeah. A lot.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

It probably felt like you were having an out-of-body experience.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Yes, and you're it's you're just holding your breath. The car ride home was real emotional because I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen next. She may not choose us, and that is her right. This is her decision.

SPEAKER_01 39:18

It's not a given. Not a given. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

And we had advocates for us. The agency was phenomenal. Like, I can't tell you how great they were with communicating every piece of it with us day to day, hour by hour, how it was unfolding. Um, they were great. Um, family members of the birth mom were there and they were advocates for the placement process. So she ultimately had to make this decision to come to these terms on her own, but she there was a great team there for us.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

Tell us the moment and what it was like. I want a mental picture of you bringing these twins home to your house. You've been on this journey for so long, and here you are walking up to your house with a boy and a girl.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

So surreal. It didn't, it was not real. So I this happened really quickly. Like I said, I got this phone call at 6 p.m. on a Saturday. We're now only a couple days out. I have nothing.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

I was just about to say.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

Yeah, she made and she made this decision really fast too. Yes, and in the fog of early pregnancy. So I remember on my phone at that time, I had a picture of me at the doctor's office holding my first ultrasound. The very next picture in my camera roll is my mom and dad in the room that we turned the nursery putting together last-minute cribs that we got from a friend down the street. Like it was, there was no life lived in between those two moments. Wow. So we had nothing. So thankfully, um, their birth mother had so many things. She had car seats, she had clothes, she had diapers, she had bottles, she had formula. And she sent that. She sent, yes, it was amazing. We had truly nothing. So we had the car seats. Um, no, the twins were three months creamy. So they were five pounds each. They are tiny, they're barely fitting in these car seats. So it's wild. So we get in the car, we have I'm in the backseat, we're driving home, we're on the causeway. My husband is obviously white knuckling it. We've never driven with kids in our backseat. I don't know. Like, I don't think we've ever had. Continuing to look back in the car. She was back there with the vacant. I was back there. It was, I'm like, what is happening? Like this is, and it was the same night, Jen. You'll love this. It was the same night as um throw throw distribution. Throw distribution. No, the check the night you pay, the night you pay. Oh, okay. So the throw meeting. So I'm getting all these. This is Marty Girl stuff. Yes. Yes, I'm getting all these phone calls and texts from girls and being like, hey, I want to drop off a check. Hey, I'm gonna meet you there. Can I have your check? And I have to just say sure, and then tell my mom, mom, go get all this money out of my mailbox to bring to this meeting. And because we can't, I can't say anything yet. Yes, right. So we are driving across the causeway. Some some of our best friends surprised us in the quick hour, two-hour turnaround with stakes in our yard that said boy, girl. And so we got home and got to take pictures, and our parents met us there, and it was insane. It was so wild. And then we just had two babies.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

That's wild.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

And after hearing all this, we have, I feel like we have to commend both of these women in this story. It was the brave mother who who I'm you she tried to keep them. She wanted to, but not everybody is in the position.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

At that time. At that time.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

She was in a position where they can't explain.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

In a position to do it.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

Bravely gave these babies to Nicole. And Nicole bravely took that on while she was pregnant. And twins that I mean. And in the matter of afternoon. Yeah. Seriously. We're clapping in case the mic doesn't pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

For me, it is all about how these people were totally focused on innocent babies. And you just cannot get a better gift than someone that is willing to give up their child because they know that now it's the that's the best for their child. And then someone who is willing under any circumstances to accept someone else's child and say, I'm gonna give that child a good life for you because you couldn't do it. So it's so okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Now I want to go into so the thing that I mentioned earlier about God picked you for this. I need to walk y'all through how these dates and the moments and how intentional this has all come out to be. So we look back at the calendar. We conceived our son on our 10-year anniversary that weekend. Oh their birthdays, they are exactly nine months apart. When I brought them home, the date was their original due date. I was exactly 11 weeks pregnant and they were 11 weeks old.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Their birthdays are reversed. The twins' birthday is May 12th, so 512. Yeah. My son was born on two one five. Wow. Is that not? It gives me chills every time I think about it. And when I get to share it, I just love it. Because it is just, I was chosen for this. We were picked for this. Looking back on that, we haven't, I haven't had to talk about or share this in a while. We were sharing it a lot when it all went down and it all happened. So it's fun to look back. And I was going through my phone last night of, okay, when was this happening? And looking back at these pictures, I was like, that seems like such a long time ago. But now it feels so intentional and so chosen and meant to be.

SPEAKER_02 44:27

Yeah. And I bet that's really motivating and inspiring for our listeners who are struggling right now with infertility and sometimes even second time infertility or third time. They're trying again and they're trying again and it's not working out. And and just knowing that that these miracles do come true. And both both instances were miracles, the child that you birthed and the children that you adopted.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

And Nicole, I I obviously have never been through anything like this. But when when you were going through this and you were thinking it's going to be when it's meant to be, but that was hard for you to accept then. Yes. What kind of would you say now that you've been through this entire process to someone who is going through it? And and and you just kind of said, This just worked out.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

Yeah, I want it's so hard because it is, it's so much easier now being on the other side of it, being like, it's gonna be how it's meant to be. But I know I remember that that guttural feeling of like, it's not going to be okay. It may not be okay in that moment. And I think for anybody going through it who feels that way, you're valid in those emotions to think that and just don't lose, try not to lose yourself in that journey. Because if it is meant to be, I do truly believe that in some way you can make it be. And there's other avenues. If you need to take a break, you're allowed to take a break. You are allowed to focus on things that will fill your cup. You are allowed to be mad. You are allowed to ask why you're allowed to feel all those things and just try to give yourself grace. Yeah. And then, like you said, just don't lose yourself.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Don't lose yourself. Don't lose yourself and don't lose your relationship.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Do things to make sure you don't do that. And then, like you said, about since she's here now and she's on the other side of it, it makes it easier for her to say it's gonna be okay. And you know, that's what we all want to naturally default to saying to somebody who's struggling. But it's also But it might not be okay to say it then. Well, right. But it's also it's helpful when people like Nicole share their stories for other people to hear because then they do know it will be okay. And sometimes it being okay means that you went to the ends of the earth to make it happen and that you had to be open to multiple different options. Like Nicole didn't know she was gonna end up pregnant, and she started going through that adoption process. So the people who are struggling with infertility, again, I don't know what that feels like, but I do see someone sitting right here in front of me who knew that adoption would still give her that baby. And being open to things like that and and seeing how it worked out so well for you, I think is really important. I think it's so great that Nicole is here to share that story and inspire so many listeners.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Well, thank you. It's been great.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Yeah, and it's I loved it.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

It's funny.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

Well, we're not even done. We're not even done because now she has twins at her house and she is pregnant. And I cannot imagine having two babies and being pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

We can barely imagine Ginny having one.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

Right. I it's I I I am I am in the struggle bus. So give us a mental picture of the very end of your pregnancy. I want to know you're about to go into the hospital and you have these babies, and your life is about to change again. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 47:56

But valid. Valid. No, but it was we as moms, we just do. Yeah. There's no other option. So there was never a moment of like, how am I gonna do this? We have to do this. So I've and I I get this a lot. People are like, how do you do this? Or walking into the gym in the morning, we don't know how you do it. And I'm like, it's all I know. It's all I know. So when I see someone struggling with one, I'm like, that's valid. That's hard. That is your hard, and that's okay. One for me would be hard if I didn't know any other. Right now, one when I'm with one, it's like, I don't even have any kids. But it's all relative. So when that was going into the hospital, and I don't think the stress of adding another was ever a thing. I just, it it was gonna happen. It wasn't nothing was stopping it.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

So when you don't know any other way, I don't know any other way, and there's no alternative. No one's coming to save me. Or and I'm sure you were just so grateful. You're like, I'll take all the kids. And it's all and Jen was still one of those things. Like, I can't believe I'm pregnant. Yeah. Like I even look back at my camera and I don't feel like I took a ton of pictures of me being pregnant. I just you you get wrapped up in the moment of like you were just surviving. And I don't know any different. And they're like, I don't know. I was so tired of my pregnancy. I'm like, I'm just always tired. I think. I think that's just now built in as a default. But I don't, you just money.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

It is until they leave the house. And then and then it's different. Yes. You hear what they're doing, and you're like, just please don't tell me exactly.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

No, it's just I I don't know any other way at this point. And you just have to do. And we just did it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

And I think you adopted the ties.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

You adopted a boy and a girl. Boy and a girl. And then had a boy.

SPEAKER_02 49:45

Oh, did you know? No, we did a surprise.

SPEAKER_00 49:48

We had a tiebreaker. We didn't want to know. And we had always kind of said what if we were going to get pregnant, we would never find out. The surprise element was always what we wanted. We had one name picked out. It was gonna be that regardless boy or girl. And it was a tiebreaker. Yeah. And the twins came, and the twins, again, being so preemie, they're they were tiny at nine months. So he was, he couldn't hold himself up, but he was like their size when he he was, I had a big baby. Yeah. And then I had two tiny twins. So it was just the journey coming home from the hospital. That's where when I look back, that got dicey. That was hard. Where I was like, oh, now I'm now I'm I'm drowning a little bit. I had help, I have support, but I wanted to breastfeed, and breastfeeding wasn't coming easy. And I was like, I am going to breastfeed. But then at one point I looked at my husband, I'm like, okay, we have too much going on. We can only do what's gonna make everybody happy. And as soon as nobody's happy, we've got to pivot. So there's been a lot of pivoting, I feel like. That's how I'm parenting is being okay with new choices.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

And yeah, using your alternative options.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

And going back to the first, one of the first questions y'all asked was, What did you pick your motherhood? I had it in a box, right? You have you paint this picture of what it's gonna look like, sure you wouldn't do it. Now it is constant, um, it's constant troubleshooting. It's a constant pivot, it's anticipating the fire so that it doesn't light. It's and it's, you know, we're just in troubleshoot mode all the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

It's probably not enjoying those quiet moments that you thought were quiet.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

And they I always end up paying for it.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

You just get lost.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

I'm gonna do it anymore because I just need it.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

I'm like, I'll fix this problem later. Well, I think we have to call out the fact that with Nicole being a fitness and health coach, you are constantly having to stay positive and motivated and shift your perspective. Because, like you said, being able to get up early in the morning and hit the gym and go when you don't want to go and stay on top of your health, even when you don't feel like being healthy. And I really think that is what kept her surviving and going through this whole journey because she is able to just keep going and working on herself all the way through it. Even though I'm sure which you might tell us now, is was there a moment after having all three of them at home that you felt like you weren't gonna be able to maintain this fit and healthy life that you have your whole life? No, it never for you.

SPEAKER_01 52:20

Yeah, I never excuse me. Could we repeat that? And you can hear Nicole's answer again. I just it was very emphatic. No, I never visualize myself not working out. There was never an excuse. Oh, sorry, Nicole. But please go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

But I think at that point before, it was already so ingrained in my life. That was part of my personality. This is what I do to feel my best. This is what I have to do if I want to feel my best again. And I think that was part of, I say this a lot, blessing of being married so long without children is I got to learn what I need as an adult versus like going straight into my marriage and having babies right away. And that being how I started my quote unquote adult life. We, I, I know what I need to be successful personally, not like career-wise or anything, but just be my best self, be my happiest self. What's gonna make me feel good is also going to project on I'm gonna be a better wife, I'm gonna be a better friend. So I did not ever have the, oh, I can't do it today. It was just, how am I gonna do it today? When am I gonna do it today? Yeah. Because that's my mom likes hearing that. But I But I do understand not everybody, some people have to start that journey after children. And I think that's also been a blessing that I did nutrition coaching and wellness coaching before kids and have continued after kids, that I've seen both of those perspectives and how everybody's heart is hard, right? So everybody's what's hard for you, you may not think it's hard for me, but it's it's just it's all relative. Everybody has a different version of it. Everyone has a different version. So, like if that is hard for you, we have to find ways that it won't be.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

Or you can certainly start your health journey.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

And we talk about that in episode two, about your why of why you want to start something, like why you want to go on this health and fitness journey or why you want to keep going. Yes. Because the motivation dies out.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Yeah, motivation can only last for so long, and then you gotta really lean on what you're doing. It is. It's gotta be dedication, it's gotta be consistency over, yeah, discipline, dedication. It's gotta be consistency over perfection because some days I don't want to go, and that's okay, but I'll go tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Nicole, she's gonna want to adopt you by the end of the episode.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

I think I had Nicole. I didn't know it, but I did. I had you. Oh, it's good to know. She finally I'm gonna put you in the will.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

I just perfect. I can't wait. Brandon, you hear the will.

SPEAKER_02 54:54

Well, I know that all of our listeners right now like have so many questions they want to ask you, but we're about to give them a plot twist. Okay, yes because I just found out something the other day. No, neither one of us. No, no, and okay, but this is why. So Nicole just told me that she recently got a hysterectomy.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

I did in September. Best thing I've ever done. Outside of have all my children, but yes. And I had a hysterectomy.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Walk us through that process.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

So why during this whole journey of life, sometime around I don't know, probably 2014, 13. It was after we got married. I don't remember prior to being married. I have always struggled with debilitating cramps. And this isn't your run-of-the-mill, I need a heating pad, let's pop some ibuprofen. This is naked on the bathroom floor at 2 a.m. My husband's about to call an ambulance, period, cramps. Wow. And during the years of fertility treatment, it was always brushed off. Like, that's not the issue. That's not what's causing your issue. We're gonna fix, we're here to fix the fertility issue. We'll deal with that issue of cramps later. Fast forward, I had different. Well, this is just something I lived with, and no one could tell me what was wrong with it. We got on the other side of fertility. I went to OBs, being like, someone give me an answer. And I wanted it to be endometriosis because I know you can go in and clean up some of that and relieve some of that. Um, one doctor was like, let's just put you on some medicine, let's put you in medicated menopause. I was like, I don't want any of that. I need a why. I need to know what is causing this. I don't want to band-aid it. Found a physician on the South Shore. She went in, she did the scope, no endometriosis. Everything is beautiful. We don't know what is causing the severe bane. I'm so sorry. Shortly after that procedure is when I find out I'm pregnant. And then you hear after having a baby, a lot of those hormonal issues from a cycle resolve themselves. Oh, yeah. So I'm crossing fingers and praying that after this baby, maybe my periodograms will be gone. They're not gone. They are not gone. They are back and they were full force, and I now need to find a solution. I go to my OB at this point, who had delivered my baby. I was like, I gotta do something. She's like, You want to take it out? I was like, Yes. So we did an ultrasound first, and she found that I was full of fibroids. No one had seen them before. All of the years of ultrasounds and all the things no one had mentioned. Oh, by the way, you're full of fibroids. That's what's causing all this pain and bloating and discomfort you're having every time you ovulate and every time you have a cycle. So she's like, let's take it out. I was like, let's take it out. So we did a partial hysterectomy. They took out my uterus. I still have my ovaries. They took out flupian tubes, cervix, and uterus. Ovaries. So I didn't go into menopause. I don't need any hormone replacement. Oh wow. But so I still it's I still have the hormonal shifts of a cycle. Yeah, but I don't have all the bad stuff that comes with it. It's a dream. I recovery was pretty quick. It was awful, but it was pretty quick. And it's been amazing. But it's so I've gotten this question a lot with okay, perspective shift. You tried for so long to have babies, and then you just took it all out. Yeah. And that was, I'm so okay with it. My family is full. Yeah. My kitchen table will be full the rest of my life. I am okay. I'm okay. I was now ready to, I need comfort. I can't be the best, going back to being the best version of myself, the best mother, the best wife. If I'm in all this pain that is taking up and consuming so much of my energy. Periods are already a thing enough.

SPEAKER_02 58:31

So the fact that you were getting this extreme pain and having to take care of three children while doing it.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Well, and every month, even my little youngsters here who have not gone through menopause doesn't get any better for us. And that is a conversation I will have with God when I get up there. That has truly been unfair. So I agree. I'll sign that petition.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

I agree. But yeah, so I've had the history.

SPEAKER_01 59:01

Perfect. Bat me.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

I got you. And but yeah, that would happen in September. And everyone, I kind of documented some of it through Instagram, and everyone that's reached out, they're like, isn't it the best? I was like, my life, my quality of life changed overnight. It was amazing. It was, you don't realize how much space it's taking up. And it was, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 59:24

Nicole, there's been a lot of pivots. Well, I mean, I know you are willing to pivot.

SPEAKER_00 59:29

I like that. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

You work out and you pivot. And I pivot.

SPEAKER_02 59:33

But it's going back to friends. What I was gonna ask her though, for anybody listening, what did that really collectively, what did all three of those seasons from struggling with infertility, the adoption process? I'm sorry, struggling with infertility, having the baby and doing the free through the biggest thing. Getting the three circuits. And then the the hysterectomy. I was speaking more to like the of her actual body. Yep. What did that teach you about your health, your overall health of your body?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:07

One, I can do hard things. I can go through these things. She's in it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:13

She's where the papers I did.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

I know it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:18

I knew you were gonna look at some damage.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

I will find out.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:23

I will find out who your father is. Yes, I I I, you know, when you're in it, you're in it, right? We're in the trenches right now. You have young boys. When you're in it, it feels like I'm never getting out of it. But especially because I had to go back and go through some of this to prepare for this, and I don't do that every day. I'm not living through that all the time, but thinking about it now. And I can do hard things. This isn't the hardest season I'm going to go through. It's not the hardest season I've been in before. So yeah, and I think that going to my health and where I am with my health, that's only made it, I think, easier because I do see so many people, healthy people, but who aren't maybe focusing on the physical element or what they're putting in their body to strengthen it, struggle a little bit more with bouncing back from things. So I do accredit a lot of that to my lifestyle. But on just a normal, like the emotional toll, I can do hard things and it's gonna be okay. I was chosen for this. We're clapping again. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

I might also stand up. I know I thought about it as one more thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Um well, I feel like you've had so many things to be grateful over the course of your entire journey. But what are you most grateful in this season of life right now? My tribe. Because I really thought.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

And your new mother. And my new mom. I really thought I was gonna do it alone. Not alone, like in the sense of I have my family, I have my husband, I have that support system. But I thought I was gonna miss the wave of my friends going through it, and I didn't. I have some friends who have children younger than me still. I've I'm still in the season of raising small children with some of my most favorite people. And that's huge because I can complain to my husband all the time, but you know how that goes. So having someone who's in the season with you to again either sit in the suck with you or be able to be like, oh my God, he pooped in the potty today. Yeah. And high five over that, just having that tribe of people in the same season.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

That's huge. That's huge. And actually, for anyone who's listening and is loving Nicole so much, she is actually gonna be a panelist speaker at the upcoming Rooted in Motherhood retreat that I am hosting with the School of Styling. It is on Monday, April 27th at the Southern Hotel. You can reach out to us for tickets. And something that we're really focusing on at this retreat is growing your village because we've heard our whole lives it takes a village. It takes a village. But where is your village? I need a village. And and how are you maintaining that village? How are you making sure to connect with all of these women who are around you and and about the give and the take of friendships? And obviously, you all know that Nicole has a lot to offer to this conversation, and there's gonna be a lot of conversations at this retreat.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:19

So she would definitely be worth the price of the ticket, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

Just being inspired, another standing ovation. I'm gonna stand. If I want to talk in with this microphone, she's gonna be at the retreat with the standing ovation.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

And she's on my Christmas list. I'm getting so much I don't get excited about that. My gifts were not. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:39

Don't be excited about being on her Christmas list. It's not anything good. If you're gonna wrap up though, I do want to say one thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:43

I'm well, I we have we do have one more thing. Okay, and that's just well, go ahead. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

Okay, I was gonna say, uh, Nicole, you have been through so many ups and downs, going through fertility, having to take all kinds of medication emotionally, and through that, the whole time, you worked out, you watched what you ate, um, or you ate healthy as you could from time to time. How would you say that impacted that that whole journey? Just being, you know, working out and being in shape.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:13

So I am a huge advocate, and that's I mean, this is also why I do what I do professionally. I believe that if you're doing something to move your body, you are going to feel better. If you're putting things in your body that is meant to nourish and provide energy and fuel your body, you're gonna feel better. So as much as I would love to have sat on the couch and ate Ben and Jerry's because that feels nice in the moment, I know I'm not gonna feel good overall. So I knew I had to, I have to show up for these kids. I have to show up for my clients, I have to show up for myself, I have to show up for my husband. Doing those things is only gonna give me the energy and the support I need. I need, I'm also one of those people. I need my time. I need something that's going to fuel me. We do everything for our children and for our spouse, and that's ingrained in us as mothers and as wives, but I will not be that best version if I'm not also taking care of myself. And that's just, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:13

And that gives you your energy back. When they drain it, that helps you. Yeah, leaving.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:17

As much as I don't want to go on some days to the gym or teach this class, and I have to show up because they could be going through a really shitty day. I have to be there for them. I'm gonna end up leaving feeling better about it. So we're all gonna get something out of it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:30

Yeah, you have to fill your cup first before you fill any of those three children. Put that life mask on. Well, usually we have a hot mama QA at the end of each episode, but we dove into a lot today. And I know that people on the other side of their phones right now, like they have so many questions. I bet you like, like they were like screaming things at the at the car or their phone. What was this? Tell me about this part. And I'm sure that if you slide into Nicole's DMs, which by the way, Nicole, tell them where they can find you. I don't want to

SPEAKER_00 1:06:00

Forget. It is mouthful, but it is total wellness nutrition coaching. I'm on Instagram, Facebook. That's all right.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

So Nicole can answer those questions for because I know you have them. I remember the first time I heard the story. I was, it was hard to even let her tell the story. And you know what? Even today, when she was telling it, there were parts that I didn't know, and then there were parts that I had forgotten, but I was on the edge of my seat. It's so good. I'm so glad that I share it. Okay, but back to the hot mama QA. There is a question that I pulled from our followers, and they had asked, This question's not for me, but I'm gonna let both Nicole and my mom answer it. She said, I'm in the gym every day, and she looks better than me, referring to my 62-year-old mother. I want her workout routine. I'm trying to build more muscle for 2026. So both Nicole and my mom are at different ages and seasons of life. And so I was gonna let you each share some tips on how to build muscle in the gym for different age brackets. Who would like to start?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

Well, I'll let you go first because you can start with the younger group. I bet, and I was thinking about this, I bet our answers will be similar because I think the general principles of building muscle in the gym are there. I think the why behind our two generations are gonna be different. So my three biggest tips are gonna be Oh, I've got three too. Yes, you have to have a plan. You cannot walk into the gym without a plan and just be like, I'm gonna do what feels right. Let the gym move me. Like when you go to Costco. No. Like I only do Costco. I don't go to Costco with the plan. I let Costco write the plan. Costco's a field trip. Yes, exactly. The gym shouldn't be. The gym, you have to go with an intentional plan. What is and also what is your goal? Is it weight loss? Is it lean muscle mass? Is it body comp? What is your goal? What are we there to achieve today? Or you just want to feel good and go find something that you love. Probably you need to lift heavier weights. If your goal is strength building, muscle definition, you're prop put down your fives, put down your five pound weights. And lift heavier. And then also look at what is on your fork. Because you can go to the gym all you want, but if you're going home and you're not accounting for your intake, it's it's not gonna make nothing's gonna change. So we can spin our wheels in the gym, but if the kitchen isn't there, and vice versa, you can kill yourself in the kitchen, and if you're not showing up at the gym, they need to go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:18

So those are my I was smiling really hard during that because I know that she was like really restraining herself from not jumping up and hugging you because like that's like that's what she just wishes in all people that they understood.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:33

So and I know it's so much easier for me to say that than for them to execute. So because again, everybody's seasons different. But um okay, what are yours?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:39

Yeah, well, and I think in your 50s and 60s, just getting out and moving is good for you and it will benefit you. Any type of movement in your 50s and 60s is gonna benefit you. But I think weights are really important at that age because as we get older, we lose muscle mass. And if we can, as we get older, if we can get keep our strength, then whatever light throws at us, we have a much better plan and opportunity at handling it. Yes. Um also, too, you're looking in your 50s and 60s, you're preparing for your 80s and 90s, and you want to be able to get down in your and and by get down, I don't mean all the dance girl, although I hope when I'm 80 I can dancy. But get down on the couch and be able to get back up, that's right. Um, and weights will help build that strength that you're gonna need for longevity. And there's different ways that you can do weights. I do think you need to pick up a little heavier weights than the five and the ten pounds. However, if you haven't even started weights, just your own body weight is a big place to start. And of course, if you're 50 in your 50s and 60s and had never done weights, it is really advisable to get a train a trainer to help you guide you through that process so that you can do it so and then after that, my second thing would be some kind of low impact. However, if you're 50 and 60 and you're running marathons, keep going. But other than that, walking, playing pickleball, social activity at that age uh is also good too. And the last one would also be flexibility and yoga. Yep. At that age, we don't want to use lose the flexibility in our muscles. That's what's gonna keep us from getting stiff as we get older. Definitely. So I think roasting things.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:21

And to piggyback on that, not that I have any insight to building muscle, but it's it is a more deeper question as far as building muscle. And that is when you could really go find Nicole because Nicole offers coaching. My mom does not offer coaching. But if you go and find her at PAC and well eight.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

You want to be uh seventh, eighth, ninth grade cheerleader. She's your grandma. My mom does coach cheerleader private. But if you just want to get healthy and work out in the gym, hit Nicole.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:50

Yeah, I teach more classes through the week. In fact, what's your next class that you're teaching? My mom's gonna go to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:57

I teach Mondays a kettlebell class. Okay, Wednesdays, which is weight. So that's another way of getting in weight. Love kettlebells. It's a 30-minute, we work for those 30 minutes too. You can get in and out in 30 minutes. Your workouts also, they don't need to, we don't need to be at the gym all day. You can get a great workout in 30, 40 minutes. So I teach a kettlebell class on Mondays for 30 minutes. A bar class on Wednesdays, and then a hit strength circuit class on Thursdays, and then another strength class on Fridays.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:24

You know, Nicole, it really you just went four days a week to those four classes, you would hit your weights, see, your ability, abil mobility, and then also get some aerobics in there. Yep. But then that would be a good reality. And you don't have to plan it because you already played on it.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:42

Or the whole has already done it all for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:47

Yeah, we're gonna go to her next class. Take on it. All right, also. We're going to her next class. Well, this was such an amazing episode, like I knew it would be, and and I was right that my mom was gonna love you. And thank you all for whoever's listening right now. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Remember that so much of the joy that you experience in life is the joy that you choose to see. So get out there, keep soaking up those little moments, and keep showing up as the hot mamas you truly are.