Are They Truly Born Again? How to Discern Real Faith in Your Group

You don’t just lead a small group — you shepherd souls that will spend eternity somewhere.

Many leaders assume that everyone in their group is truly saved. But people can love Christian community, speak the right language, and still be strangers to saving faith. And if we’re not discerning, we can unintentionally shepherd people toward comfort instead of conversion.

In this episode, we explore how to biblically discern whether someone is truly born again. Drawing from passages like 1 John and Matthew 7, we walk through clear indicators of genuine faith, common signs of false assurance, and practical ways to evaluate prayer, fruit, and gospel understanding in your group.

If you want to faithfully shepherd your group, have deeper spiritual discernment, and care for people’s souls with clarity and conviction, this episode is for you.

👉 Ready to serve in ministry? Get trained and deployed at CentralBibleInstitute.org

Transcript

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They pray the right prayers, they know the right answers, they show up every week, but are they born again?

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Sometimes the people who look the most Christian are the furthest from surrender.

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Are the people in your group following God for what He can give them or for God Himself?

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People can be drawn to the power of biblical community without ever surrendering to Christ.

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There are those who are truly saved, and there are those who are really good at playing church. Which ones are in your group? Welcome to Off the Sidelines, a podcast from Central Bible Institute, the deployment center at Central Church, where we equip believers to move from watching ministry to doing ministry. All of our service is rooted in the gospel. We love because Jesus first loved us, and we serve because Jesus first served us. I'm Brianna Sucert. And I'm Greg Sucert, and today we're talking about something that can be uncomfortable, but is absolutely critical. How do you discern if someone in your small group is truly born again?

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Because here's the thing: people can come, stay, be drawn to community, answer questions, even give prayer requests, and still not be saved.

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And you may not even know it.

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So let's start with why this is such a real issue. People are drawn to community.

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Absolutely. Think about it. People join dojos not just to learn martial arts, but for the code of ethics, the community that rallies around them. People play video games online for community, sports teams, book clubs, theater groups. There's a natural longing in the human heart for community.

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And people are going to be drawn to what your small group has to offer for the same reason.

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But here's what makes biblical community even more powerful. You're not just talking about shared interests or activities. You're talking about the most powerful things in the universe. A God who knows all things, who's present everywhere, who has power to help, to change circumstances, to change hearts, and to answer prayers.

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People want the desires of their hearts granted to them. That's why they turn to seeking divine power.

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There's something very powerful about being in a community where people say they know God, especially a God who loves, hears, and helps, a God who can give you the power to do what you could never do yourself.

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So people can actually taste the power of the Holy Spirit in community. They can be drawn to that power without ever surrendering their lives to Christ.

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That's the problem. Someone can be drawn to what God can do for them without ever surrendering to God Himself.

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So how do you know the difference? How do you discern if someone is there for the community benefits or if they've actually been born again?

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Well, let's start with what the Bible says. Scripture is clear that it was written to be understood. That's the doctrine we're focusing on today, the clarity of Scripture.

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And that matters because if Scripture is clear, then the gospel is clear. We don't have to guess about what saving faith looks like.

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Right. Deuteronomy 29, 29 says, The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever. God has revealed what we need to know. We are not left in the dark.

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And when it comes to discerning faith in others, Scripture gives us real indicators to look for. It's not a mystery.

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One of the clearest passages is 1 John. John wrote that letter specifically so believers could have assurance and so false professors could be exposed.

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1 John 2, 3 through 4 says, And by this we know that we have come to know him if we keep his commandments. Whoever says I know him but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

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That's bold. John doesn't mince words. If someone claims to know Jesus, but there's no evidence of obedience, they're deceiving themselves.

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But let's be careful here. This isn't about perfection, it's about direction. A true believer struggles with sin, but there's a pattern of repentance, trusting in Christ, and growth.

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Exactly. And John goes on in verse 9 to talk about love. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Real faith produces real love.

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So scripture gives us a framework. True believers treasure Christ, trust his grace, and bear fruit over time.

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And here's where the clarity of scripture really helps us. We don't need a vision in the night. We need to pay attention to what God has already revealed in his word about what it means to truly be a disciple of Jesus.

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And Greg Allison, the author of the book 50 Core Truths, he reminds us that understanding scripture is not reserved for the intellectual elite. It doesn't depend on gender, age, experience, or education, because God has made his word accessible to all. This is rooted in the truth that we are created in God's image, meaning we are designed to communicate and to receive communication.

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As a result, a child can understand the truth. A person with disabilities can grasp the gospel, and both the uneducated and the highly trained can hear and understand. The beauty of the gospel is not just its depth, but its clarity. It's deep enough to humble the wisest minds, yet it is simple enough for anyone who will listen. Because of the Holy Spirit, the gospel is the power of God for salvation, not just for some categories of people, but for all categories of people.

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But clarity doesn't always mean ease. Some parts of Scripture are harder to understand. And similarly, some people are harder to read.

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True, but the main truths are plain. And one of those truths is that Jesus said, You'll know his followers by their fruit.

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Matthew 7, 16 through 20 says, you will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? So every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit.

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That's the biblical vision. God has given us his word, and his word equips us to discern true faith from false profession.

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Okay, so let's get really practical now. What should we be looking for?

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First, and this is huge, pay attention to what the people in your small group are praying for. How so? Listen to their prayer requests. Are they praying for their circumstances to change? I want that promotion. I want people to acknowledge me. I want help in my marriage. I want my kids to respect me. Those aren't necessarily bad prayers. No, they're not wrong. But the prayer should go deeper than self-focus. As Christians, we need help to forgive. We need God's strength to admit our faults and to admit that we don't have power within ourselves. What we really need amidst our hard circumstances is faith. We need to have God-centered prayers that look to Him, for who He is, not for what we can get out of Him.

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So are they praying to trust God? Are they praying for the power not to lean on their own understanding?

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Exactly. Are they praying for God to change their hearts? Or is their heart really set on what they can get from God?

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That's the key difference, isn't it?

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Yes, someone who's falsely following God follows him for what they can get out of him, for what he can do for them. Change circumstances, give promotions, give comfort. But they're not really following Christ for Christ. They're following him like you would seek a genie. They're wanting things from God, but they're not actually surrendered to his lordship.

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True faith is following God for God.

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Right. Biblical faith is saying I'm gonna surrender to him and do things his way, even if it costs me greatly. God, give me the faith, give me the trust, give me the confidence to follow your way, even when I don't want to.

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Okay, so we need to pay attention to prayer requests and prayers.

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Yes. And another thing, pay attention to how people in your small group answer the sermon questions. What are you listening for? Is it all about how they need to do better, be a better dad, be a better wife, be a better mom? Is it about what I need to do? Or is there a hunger for God to do what God must do? Is there a hunger for God to be sufficient in our shortcomings?

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Because God does change us, but the Christian life is ultimately about resting in his grace.

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Exactly. It's not working in our power to produce the change, but resting in his power. So really pay attention. Is their language man-centered? I need to do this, I need to be better, I need to change, or is it God-centered? God must bring the change. God must do this. I need him.

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Okay. So you're looking for a God-centered approach to life versus a man-centered approach.

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Yes. And here's the thing: you can really only discern this if you're actually in their life.

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Tell us more about that.

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People can put on a good show for an hour, Sunday morning, 6 a.m. before work. People can put on a performance. Sometimes you really can't know if they're the real deal or not unless you have relational intimacy.

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So do you really know the people in your group? Are you really doing life with them?

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Have you been in their home? Have they been in your home? Do you know their spouse? Because scripture says the two shall become one. So if they're married, you really can't know who they are unless you also know their spouse.

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Their spouse has the closest insight into who that person really is.

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Right. Because who you are at home is who you really are. So do you have that relational intimacy? That will be very telling to see if the people you are serving, the people in your small group, are really clinging to God's grace day in and day out, or if your small group is showtime.

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You can never know that unless you pursue that intimacy.

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So don't settle for once or twice a week. Really commit to having couples over, having singles over, being in each other's lives. You'll see the fruit that's there or not there. Look for acts of faith and confidence in God beyond Sunday mornings and beyond your small group meeting times.

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Because anyone could put on a show for an hour.

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Now, here's a really practical thing you can do. Ask people in your group to recount the gospel.

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Ooh, I like that. How would that work?

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Make your small group a place where the gospel is proclaimed every single gathering. And I really believe this. The gospel is not just what saves us, it's what transforms us every day. It's our hope that we cling to today, not just in the past.

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So repentance and faith aren't one-time events.

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They're markers of the Christian for the rest of their life, always clinging to God's grace. So each week, have someone kick off your group by sharing the hope of the gospel. Don't put them on the spot unexpectedly. Tell them ahead of time.

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And rotate through the group.

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Yes. Make it part of your group culture, and you'll really pick up on their understanding. Do they really understand the gospel? Do they really believe the gospel? That Creator God made us, that we sinned against him, that we desperately need his grace because we deserve judgment. We broke God's law, but Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, lived the life that we could not live. He died on the cross to face the wrath that we deserved for our wickedness. He died in our place for our unrighteousness. It's resting and trusting in Christ alone. Does this person understand the gospel? Are they resting in the biblical gospel or are they clinging to an unbiblical gospel?

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And what if their gospel message is not biblical?

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Turn it into a discipleship moment. Pull them aside and say, can we do a study together? Let's go through the gospel of Mark or the Gospel of John. Let's work through this. Use every chapter to point them to the Savior as our only hope.

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I love that. Are there any other red flags to watch for?

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Yes. If someone thinks that there are many ways to heaven, that there's one God who has many names. No, no, no. This is absolutely wrong according to Scripture, and we reject this as Christians. According to Scripture, there's only one God, and He reveals Himself in His Word, Old and New Testament, and He is the only way to salvation. Jesus is the only way to salvation, not many ways, one way through Christ alone. So, man, let me speak directly to you for a second. This is your responsibility as a shepherd. You cannot be passive about discerning real faith in your group. Stop settling for surface-level relationships. Get into their homes, know their spouses, do life together, because you'll never see real fruit from a distance. Pay attention to how they pray. Are they praying for God to change their circumstances? Or are they praying for God to change their hearts? Are they following God for what he can give them? Or are they following God for God Himself? Listen to how they answer questions. Is it all about self-improvement? I need to do better or I need to be better. Or is it God-centered? God must change me. God must produce the change. I'm resting in his grace. And here's the hard part. If you discern someone may not be saved, you have to have that conversation. Don't let them coast. The stakes are too high. Eternity is on the line. Be the kind of leader who cares more about their souls than their feelings. Step up.

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And ladies, you have unique relational insight. God has wired you to notice things, to pick up on the heart behind the words. Use that gift to shepherd well. Don't settle for once-a-week gatherings. Pursue real relationship. Have women over to your home. Be in their lives, because you'll never know if their faith is real from a distance. Listen to how they pray. Are they asking God to change those circumstances or asking him to change their hearts? Are they clinging to what God can do for them or clinging to God Himself? Watch how they talk about the Christian life. Is it all about self-improvement and doing better? Or is it about resting in God's grace and trusting Him to produce the change? And if you sense someone may not truly be saved, don't shy away from that conversation. Love them enough to ask the hard questions. Point them to Jesus, because eternity is at stake. Be faithful to disciple, not just facilitate.

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Alright, here's the challenge for everyone this week. Pick one or two people in your group and really start paying attention.

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Listen to their prayers. What are they asking God for?

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Listen to how they answer sermon questions. Is it man-centered or God-centered?

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And take a step toward relational intimacy. Have them over. Get into their life.

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Consider starting a practice in your group where someone shares the gospel at the beginning each week. Rotate through your group. See who understands it and who is really clinging to the gospel and who isn't.

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And if you discern that someone may not truly be saved, set up a time to talk. Don't ignore it.

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This isn't about being self-righteous, it's about being faithful.

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Because you can't shepherd someone well from a distance.

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We hope this episode has been helpful and inspiring and equipping you to serve faithfully in whatever area God is calling you.

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None of our service is possible apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. He is the one who makes all the difference. And the Spirit is given freely to all who turn from their sin and trust in Jesus Christ alone, resting not in our performance, but in his finished work, his life, his death, his resurrection.

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If you're not sure that you've been born again, reach out to us at centralchurch.com.

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And check out central Bibleinstitute.org to see ways you can get trained and deployed for faithful ministry service.

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And speaking of getting equipped, our small group leadership training begins Sunday, May 3rd, 2026, from 4 30 to 6 30 p.m. This is an eight-week class that will train and deploy you to faithfully shepherd the people God has entrusted you to care for.

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If what we've talked about today has stirred something in you, this is your next step. Head to central Bibleinstitute.org to register.

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Thanks for listening to Off the Sidelines, a CBI podcast.

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And remember, you were not saved to sit.

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You were saved to serve.