When Group Members Disagree: Leading Through Doctrinal Differences

Good and godly Christians disagree.

In this episode, we explore how to lead through doctrinal differences without sacrificing either truth or unity. Drawing from Scripture, theology, and practical shepherding principles, we’ll show you how to distinguish between essential doctrines and matters of Christian liberty, navigate difficult conversations with wisdom, and help your group pursue both conviction and charity.

If you want to protect the unity of your group while standing firm on biblical truth, this episode is for you.

👉 Ready to serve in ministry? Get trained and deployed at CentralBibleInstitute.org

Transcript

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Martin Luther once said, peace if possible, truth at all costs. But how do you know which truths are actually worth a fight?

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And what do you do when someone in your group has the right answer but says it in a way that splits the room?

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Wisdom requires knowing what's worth fighting for, what's worth holding loosely, and what to do with the person who can't tell the difference.

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Knowledge puffs up. Love builds up. That's 1 Corinthians 8.1. The sad reality is we can say the theologically mature thing in a spiritually immature way. That's what happens when we share truth without love.

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Never forget, when it comes to secondary and tertiary theological issues, good and godly Christians can disagree. I repeat, good and godly Christians can disagree. Welcome to Off the Sidelines, a podcast from Central Bible Institute, the deployment center at Central Church, where we equip believers to move from watching ministry to doing ministry. All of our service is rooted in the gospel. We love because Jesus first loved us, and we serve because Jesus first served us. I'm Rihanna Sucert. And I'm Greg Sucert. And today we're talking about something that comes up in every small group eventually.

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Disagreement. Specifically, theological disagreement.

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Someone says something about baptism or end times or predestination, and suddenly your group isn't pushing each other toward Christ anymore. They're pushing each other off a doctrinal cliff. So let's name it. Why do leaders struggle with this so much?

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Well, there are two ditches we commonly fall into. Ditch number one, fear. Someone says something theologically off and the leader just freezes.

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Oh, I've been there. Do I say something? Do I let it go? Can the people at the next table hear how heated it's getting? Is this about to become one of those viral Waffle House fight videos?

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So a lot of leaders default to passivity. They shut the conversation down without any plan to shepherd their group through the doctrinal disagreement.

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Which feels safe, but it teaches your group that theology doesn't matter, or that we can't have healthy conversations that explore what God's word teaches.

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Then there's the opposite ditch. Some leaders swing the other way, and every disagreement becomes a battle.

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You've heard the lines, I'm right and everyone else is wrong, you're not serious about scripture, or I've studied more than you.

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And the one that should scare us most, I can't fellowship with you anymore. And over something scripture doesn't even speak to directly.

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So there you have two ditches. On one side, elitism, using correct doctrine like a weapon.

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On the other side, mush, where even essential truths get treated like opinions.

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And we could see this played out in many doctrines. For example, the doctrine of providence.

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Yeah, let's look at that.

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Providence is the truth that God isn't out there somewhere. He's actively sustaining, working through, and directing everything in the universe toward his purposes. Greg Allison in Fifty Core Truths breaks it into three parts preservation, concurrence, and government.

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Let's start with preservation.

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Preservation means God upholds everything in the universe. He upholds the existence of everything moment by moment. Hebrews 1.3 puts it this way: that Christ upholds the universe by the word of his power. This means that gravity, your heartbeat, the laws of physics, all of it is upheld by God. None of it runs on autopilot.

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And what about concurrence?

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Concurrence means that God works through the means he has established. For example, salvation. Salvation is of the Lord, full stop. Scripture is clear on that. But God also works through people to bring about salvation. You can see this in Romans 10 where it says, So faith comes from hearing and hearing through the word of Christ. But how will they hear without someone preaching? How will they hear unless someone is sent? So your hard conversation with someone in your group isn't separate from God's work. That's how he does it.

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So finally, what's government in relation to God's providence?

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Government means God is directing the entire universe to accomplish his goals and purposes. And you could see this in Revelation 7.9. What are God's goals? Well, Revelation 7.9 tells us that God is redeeming a people from every tongue, every tribe, and every nation. This means history isn't drifting. God is not the God of deism, the God who wound up the world like a clock and then walked away. No, no, God is actively involved in every part of the universe.

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Love that. So here's where this gets useful. There are two ways to misapply God's rule over history. And this is a good example of a doctrine that people in your small group may fight over.

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There's fatalism, which says, why bother about anything? God's in control. God's got it. And that's the passivity ditch. It's dressed up as theology, but it actually ignores the other core teaching that scripture gives us.

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Yeah, and then the opposite is acting like everything depends on you. That's the elitism ditch, dressed up in theology.

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And here's the right posture according to Scripture. We're to trust God's providence, we're to trust that he's in control, and we're to take faithful action to respond to God in doing the things that he calls us to do. Scripture teaches both sides, both together. It doesn't teach irresponsibility, and it doesn't teach hyper-responsibility.

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So the bottom line is we have to acknowledge that on many doctrinal issues, scripture actually teaches both sides that are being argued for, and there is tension there.

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Some might see more emphasis on man's responsibility, and others might see more emphasis in scripture on God's providence. We need to acknowledge that scripture teaches both, and we need to extend grace to people who lean one way or the other, while being careful not to fall into either ditch of fatalism or elitism ourselves.

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And one more layer before we get practical, and this cuts both ways. First, remember that most people's convictions didn't come from nowhere. They came from somewhere. A church they grew up in, a season of doubt, something that wounded them, or something that anchored them when nothing else did.

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So when someone's gripping a position tightly, it's not always pride. Sometimes it's history, and that's worth remembering before you respond.

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And second, turn that same lens on yourself. When someone challenges your theology and you feel that surge of defensiveness, the need to win, where does that come from?

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Jeff Vanderselt calls this tracing fruit back to the root. The fruit is what you're feeling or doing. The root is what you actually believe underneath it.

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So the fruit is what am I feeling right now? Anger? The urge to prove I'm right?

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Then you want to go deeper and ask, what am I afraid of? Maybe there's something deeper there. Maybe you're thinking, if I'm wrong here, people won't respect me as a leader. And when you think about that, that's really pride.

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And going even deeper to get to the base of the root, what do I actually believe about God? Is my identity in Jesus or in having all the answers? Is Christ's church big enough to hold people who land differently on secondary issues and still call them brothers and sisters?

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Ask questions like this of yourself before you open your mouth, and it changes everything about what happens next.

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Alright, now let's get practical. To keep the peace within the body of Christ, we use something called doctrinal triage. Like medical triage, you sort by severity.

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Let's start with tier one, gospel essentials. These are things like salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, according to Scripture alone, for the glory of God alone. And these essential gospel issues also include things like the Trinity. There is one God who eternally exists as three people, Father, Son, and Spirit. Gospel essentials also include things like the identity of Christ, that Jesus is truly God and truly man, united in one person. Other gospel essentials include the bodily resurrection of Jesus and the seriousness of sin, that apart from Christ, every person is dead in their trespasses and in danger of God's coming judgment.

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These are die-on-the-hill issues. Deny any of these, and you're outside the bounds of the Christian faith.

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And the response here is not passive. Address it quickly. You can do so privately, but if a denial of an essential Christian truth is made in front of the group, you should offer a gentle correction publicly there too, because these are not issues we want people to be confused about. Silence is not an option.

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And if a conflict over a tier one issue is not resolved one-on-one, you need to get your group elder involved. Now, that's not you escalating drama. That's you using the structure God's already given the church. Our Confession of Faith describes elders as shepherds who clarify doctrine, resolve disputes, and encourage unity. Every group is under an elder's care for exactly this reason.

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Now let's talk about tier two issues, important doctrines. These are things like baptism, church governance, spiritual gifts, gender roles in ministry, and times. And this one connects it right back to Providence, Arminian versus Calvinistic views on God's sovereignty and human responsibility.

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Now, these doctrines matter. They shape membership and leadership, but genuine, faithful believers land in different places, which is exactly the tension we just talked about with Providence.

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So here's language worth writing down. Good and godly Christians disagree. Again, good and godly Christians disagree. Now, we can clarify, this is what we believe at Central Church, and here's why. And you're welcome here with differing views on secondary issues and tertiary issues. But we need to pursue unity, supporting our church's what we teach statement and not sowing seeds of division against it.

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And to be clear, leaders don't have to personally agree with every point in the what we teach statement either. But you do have to uphold it. You don't get to use your platform to undermine where the church has landed. You can find our what we teach statement at central bibleinstitute.org slash resources. It's wise for everyone in the group to be familiar with it.

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Lastly, let's talk tier three issues, and these are issues of Christian liberty. These are things like food and drink. Romans 14 says, don't pass judgment over what someone eats or drinks. Someone might be convinced in their own mind and in their own conscience about something that is not a sin issue, and scripture allows for that. But if someone is bothered by something in their conscience, we are to be careful because Romans 14 says that whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. Meaning if we're not settled in our minds that some action is bringing glory to God and something is making us feel uncomfortable, we should pause and not move forward. No one should be forced to move forward with something that unsettles their conscience. Even if Scripture gives you the freedom to move forward, you do not want to move forward with a restless heart.

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And tier three issues can also include Sabbath and rest, such as which day you observe it, how strictly you observe it. And Romans 14 again mentions how one person treats a day as special, another doesn't, and scripture says both can be fully convinced in their own mind.

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Tier 3 issues can also include media, parenting choices, political involvement, devotional habits. Again, all Romans 14 territory. Unless there's a blatant sin issue involved, agree to disagree, and don't view these differences as wars to wage in the body of Christ.

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And honestly, this is where a lot of small group conflict lives. And sometimes the issue isn't even over a difference, but how you perceive someone is treating you.

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And for that, two quick tools from the book The Peacemaker. First, when you feel tension, ask, is this a biblical requirement or a personal issue? Does scripture actually command this? Or is this a relational issue where I'm thinking things like, I feel dismissed, or I feel like she thinks she's more spiritual than me.

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Often it's the personal issue driving the conflict, not the actual disagreement.

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Here's the second tool. Ask, is this worth fighting over? This is an important question. Proverbs 19:11 says, it's one's glory to overlook an offense. And 1 Peter 4.8 says, love covers a multitude of sins.

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And overlooking isn't stuffing it down. It's choosing before God not to dwell on it, not to bring it up later, not to let it grow into resentment.

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So, as a recap, with tier one issues, hold with conviction. Hold the line. We must speak. When people differ with tier one issues, the gospel is too important to get wrong. And with tier two issues, you hold these views with charity. Good and godly Christians disagree. Same thing with tier three issues. You hold these issues with an open hand. Remember, good and godly Christians can disagree on tier two and tier three issues of Christian liberty.

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But here's a scenario the grid alone won't solve. What if someone says something that's actually true, tier one even, but they say it in a way that humiliates the person across from them?

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Right position, wrong posture.

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And here's the catch. That person probably thinks they're the mature one. I know my Bible. I'm just saying what's true.

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But here's 1 Corinthians 8:1 again. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. If what you know is making someone smaller instead of building them up, something's wrong, even if you're right.

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1 Corinthians 1.27 says that God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise. The gospel is beautifully simple. It was never about who's read the most theology books.

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James 4.6 warns, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. And Proverbs 16.18 warns, pride goes before destruction.

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So here's the irony. The person who's convinced they've arrived theologically, that conviction is the evidence that they haven't.

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So what do you do as a leader when someone's tearing the group apart, even if they're technically right?

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Name it. And you can be privately naming it. Hey, I think you're right about that. I also think the way it landed hurts some people. Can we talk about that?

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And if it keeps happening, if someone stays divisive, no matter how many times you've had that conversation, it might be time for them to step back from the group for a season.

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And not as a punishment, but as an opportunity to work through it with a ministry leader or your group's elder. Sometimes there's a deeper heart issue underneath, and that's exactly what biblical counseling exists for.

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Because the goal is not to win the argument, it's to build each other up in love.

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Now, these last two tools we're about to speak about, these are about protecting the conversation itself. Tool one is to pause and research. If a heated question comes up that you're not ready for, you don't have to solve it on the spot.

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Say, that's a great question. Let me actually dig into that and we'll discuss more together over coffee. That one sentence de-escalates the moment and builds your credibility because you come back with a real answer.

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In tool two, protect your discussion guide. Every week there's a guide at central bibleinstitute.org with head, heart, and hands questions tied to the sermon, and a big theological tangent can eat your whole meeting if you let it.

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So redirect, kindly, say something like, This is a great conversation. Let's pick it up after group, or let's make it its own meeting. But for now, we need to focus on applying these scriptures to our hearts.

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And that's exactly what wise leaders do. They set aside a separate discipleship meeting or host separate theology nights where anyone can come over and ask questions.

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In those separate meetings, you sit around, dig into scripture together, and if you want, invite a ministry leader or elder over to join. It tells your group your questions matter. We're just not going to let them hijack the time we've set aside to apply the scripture to our hearts.

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But again, a word to the wise. If you know there's theological tension, don't sweep it under the rug. Create a separate meeting to work out those questions with them, or if you feel unprepared, direct those asking them to your group elders. These are amazing discipleship opportunities, and we don't want to squander them.

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Now, I want to give a word to the men for a minute. Guys, I know a lot of you are in groups right now where something needs to be said and you know it and you haven't said it. Maybe it's a tier one issue. Someone is confused about who Jesus is or whether the Bible can really be trusted, and you've stayed quiet because confrontation feels unspiritual. It's not. Silence isn't neutral. And in these tier one issues, silence is not an option. But before you open your mouth, run the posture check. Are you about to build this person up or tear them down? When you say, hey, can we grab coffee this week? I want to make sure we're tracking with what scripture actually teaches. That's leadership. If you correct someone and walk away feeling proud of yourself, well then you did it wrong. Because the goal is never to win. It's to glorify God by building people up in the truth. And that requires humility. So this week, if there's a conversation you've been avoiding, take the first step.

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And ladies, so much of this happens for you in the smaller moments. A text, a coffee, someone wrestling out loud with something they heard. Anytime someone trusts you enough to bring you their questions, that's discipleship. Don't underestimate it. The triage grid helps you too. If a friend is wrestling with a tier three issue, her parenting, for instance, what she lets her kids watch, that's not your moment to correct. You can even say it out loud. Good and golly Christians disagree on this one. Then you can listen and maybe gently share your own convictions without making her feel judged. But if someone is drifting on something essential, like who Jesus is, what the gospel that saves us actually is, don't shrink back out of fear of seeming unkind. Address it gently and clearly with the same grace you'd want shown to you. So when doctrinal conflict comes up, pray for the wisdom to know what tier you're in and the courage to engage it with grace.

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All right. Now here's everyone's challenge for the week. First, review our church's What We Teach statement at central bibleinstitute.org forward slash resources.

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Second, if there's a disagreement that's been simmering in your group, run it through the grid. Is it tier one, an issue with Christian essentials? Is it tier two, an issue with important doctrines? Or is it tier three, an issue of Christian liberty? That alone changes how you approach it.

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Third, pray Philippians 4.8 over how you see that person. And this verse says, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, think about these things. When you pray that scripture thinking about this person, it'll shape your posture before you even open your mouth.

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Fourth, if there's a big theological question your group keeps almost asking but never finishing, that's your cue. Schedule a theology night or an intentional discipleship, get together.

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And last, the next time you feel that defensive spike in a conversation, pause. Ask yourself before you respond, why am I feeling this way? What is the root of my defensiveness?

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Because the goal isn't winning the conversation.

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It's protecting unity in the truth. Good and godly Christians disagree, and your group can be living proof of Christ-like love and unity in a world of division and hatred. We hope this episode has been helpful in inspiring and equipping you to serve faithfully in whatever area God is calling you.

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None of our service is possible apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. He is the one who makes all the difference. And the Spirit is given freely to all who turn from their sin and trust in Jesus Christ alone, resting not in our performance, but in his finished work, his life, his death, his resurrection. If you're not sure that you've been born again, reach out to us at centralchurch.com.

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And check out Central Bible Institute.org to see ways in which you can get trained and deployed for faithful ministry service.

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And speaking of getting equipped, our premarital mentoring training begins August 23rd, 2026. This is an eight-week class that will train and deploy you to do two-on-two premarital mentoring with couples who are seriously dating or engaged. This is an amazing opportunity for you and your spouse to learn how to invest in other couples, making disciples who are equipped to glorify God and their marriages. If what we've talked about today has stirred something in you, this is your next step. Head to Central Bible Institute.org to register.

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Thanks for listening to Off the Sidelines, a CBI podcast. And remember, you are not saved to sit.

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You were saved to serve.