Hey, sis, welcome back. You're tuned in to Sis Mind Your Money, the podcast where we talk all things money, wealth, and financial freedom without the confusion and without the judgment. I'm your host, Bridgett Dickey, wealth educator and strategist, founder of Dickey Financial Services and Wealth Management Firm, and the creator of Girl Mind Your Money movement. My mission is simple, to educate, empower, and equip women like you to take control of your finances and build real lasting wealth. So grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let's get into it Today's episode, or I would say series is a four-part series and this is for women who are single, married, divorced, going through a divorce, engaged. This series is for you. I've been all for it. I've been single, engaged, married, and now divorced, and your money has a huge part in this. So this is going to feed your soul. Your spirit is gonna give you what you need no matter what season you are in your life. But this episode is for my single ladies. I need you to hear this., Being single is not just a waiting room. Like you just in, you feel like you're in purgatory where everybody living they life, but me, everybody have a man but me. This is your time to grow, the pruning stage. This is your wealth building opportunity, and so during this time, this is the time for you to get your money, right? So let's talk about it. When I was single, I made all the mistakes being with my money when I was in a relationship, and you're still single. Now, understand this, when you're single, you could be dating someone, but you're still single, right? So there's no InBetween. When you check off, are you married? It says married, single widow, divorce. It's not in between. So if you're dating someone, know this, you're still single, and during this time when I was in a relationship, when I was making stupid decisions, I wasn't taking care of myself, knowing what I needed. I didn't love me enough to know that I was supposed to set boundaries, that I was supposed to have these conversations about money and what should it look like? So when I'm dating a guy, especially when you're in your twenties, you just dating somebody 'cause they look good. They smell good. You're not, you know, today's world do. Even back then, I don't think I was dating a dude. I wasn't because the type of money he had, I was dating my father, and a lot of girls would understand that, right? We marry, we date the men that we see in our dad. So I was looking for that nurturer. I was looking for a man that was secure, that can take care of me. My father could cook. He took care of the family. So those are the type of men I would say I was dating and essentially married. But that is a part of the process. But when it came to my money, in my twenties, I wasn't doing the right thing. I didn't know that I should have opened up a Roth IRA and the IRA. And when I worked at a job, I made sure the job I worked at had a 401k. Looking at the job's health history when it comes to financial and stock. What are the stock options? If I would've known some things that I know today, when I did start working for a job, I would've looked at things differently. I would've positioned my money differently, but no one taught me those things, so I'm just going off of what I know or don't know. And so the mistakes I made in my twenties and my thirties probably, definitely mid thirties, is that I was staying at jobs too long. We grew up, you stay at a job, you don't leave. You hope you can get a raise, and year after year. What I know today, if I worked at a job back then in the nineties and say year two, I still wasn't making the $5,000 more or $10,000 more I should have left and go somewhere else to make 30% more. Why? Because then that allows me to put more money in the 401k, that allows me to make certain investments. But if you're not making enough money you feel like, how can I invest? How can I put money back? You can start somewhere, but you do have to get to the point where you can take care of your needs, but also you are investing. So what I learned and did not learn is that I did not start early. I did not start early. I was not putting back. I wish somebody would've told me at 18, put back $250 every month and don't, that's what you do. Get life insurance when I was in my twenties a whole life. 'cause back then that's what they had. If I would've got a 10 pay about time, I was in my early thirties, 10 years later, then I could have had money that's in an account tax free. So when I want to go buy the property or land or whatever I want to purchase, I can do it and pay no taxes on that money starting off early. So this is a time I want you to listen, get a pen. Piece of paper, and I need you to write this down. This is time for you to move, to make actions, do things early, break the bad habits, take care of yourself, eat right, exercise. When you take care of you, you will take care of your money. You will look at things differently. What are your goals? What are your plans? I didn't dream during that time when I was in my twenties, it didn't start happening until I got rid of a long-term relationship. I stayed longer than I wanted to stay, and I paid more than I wanted to pay, and it cost me staying somewhere in a relationship that was not serving me. I stay somewhere where I'm, no, don't pressure me to get married. I'm gonna do it when I want to do it, and I stayed too long. Only person I can blame is myself. But I had to go through a part of life and during that time is go through and say, I forgive me. Look back and say, I forgive me. I wasn't mad at him. He did only what I allowed him to do. So this is a time when you're single. Don't just date anybody. Date with intention. But I wasn't prepped for that. What I know now. 'cause I'm more mature. I know to date with intention. I know to not tolerate certain things. But in your twenties and thirties, you're worried about what everybody is thinking, and you are not trusting you, and what you want. And that is the one mistake I made that because I'm going after or looking for this man to do all these things for me instead of having my own plan. But we are not taught that ladies, we are not taught to have our own plan. We are taught to get married, and he'll take care of everything. That's what we're taught. I witnessed that my mother didn't have a plan. They didn't have a plan as a couple. So women are not taught that, they're taught to marry. He's going to take care of everything. He'll make sure the retirement, so if something happens to him, you'll be okay, but no one is talking about what you should do. Being single. This is your time to learn, to grow, to get you together. So one step I did make is that I took a course at a church, a girlfriend of mine, we went and took a course. And this really kinda how the business all started. I went and took Dave Ramsey's I think it's called, I think it was Financial Freedom, something like that. University, something like that, and it was only given at churches, and I went and took this course so I can learn about financial getting me together. And I did that. So during my single time, I was learning to get me together financially, making sure my credit, what does that look like now? This was a blessing and a curse. My father was like, baby, only use cash only. You don't need credit cards. Save for what you need. I am still like that today. It's a blessing and a curse. 'cause I really didn't start building my credit history until my mid thirties. In my twenties, I did not have a credit card when everybody was in school having credit. I did not have that. So understanding the importance of building credit, understanding there's a difference between bad debt and good debt. I did not know that your bad debt. That is credit cards. Your department store. I meet clients that have 13 credit cards, department stores. So when I say department stores, best Buy, Victoria Secrets, JC Penn's, Macy's department stores, instead of having maybe an Amex or a Capital One, or even your favorite airlines. You can use the car wherever, but get one from Southwest or American or Delta, wherever your favorite airline is, or hotel. So then when you travel, you have the points. Use it for, but no one ever taught me that. I didn't learn that until later in life. So I always say it's a blessing and a curse because the blessing is that's what has kept me dead at Bay. As far as bad debt and having good debt, meaning getting money under the business name, learning how to take monies and invest it so it can grow, versus what we are taught is credit card. Get a department store credit card to build your credit. Your credit score is so many other ways to do it. But not knowing that. But those are some of the mistakes that most women make. They go and get rack up all the debt, not starting retirement early enough. The moment you start working at a job, and depending on where you work your age. Now, if you're 18, most jobs don't allow you to contribute to a retirement account. But there's other things you can always set up outside of work. But that's not, I didn't know that, but now you do. Do you understand that with inflation, no one taught us about inflation? I didn't know that growing up with the cost of living goes up, that means you need to make more money. That means your lifestyle will change, but understanding that you have to make more money over your lifetime, making $50,000 for 10 years is not gonna get you to your goals. Staying somewhere that's not increasing your income. It's not going to get you to your goals, and not having an emergency fund. So we are taught to get a put it on a credit card. Put it on a credit card. You should have at least three start off three months, six months in a year, three months, six months in a year. Life will happen. What if you get sick? What if something happens to you? You lose your job. But what happens is you don't, you go get the credit card and you put everything on, and now you at a 30% interest rate. Now you owe 20 k, but what if you had 20 K saved in a high yield savings account? Then that's your money. Whenever you need to use it for an emergency. Not that you want to pay for the trip or buy clothes, that's another account. You have these things in place, but we're not taught that. I was not taught that, I didn't learn this till later. But what I do want you to know is not focus on the fact that you were not taught this. Now you're listening to this. Now you know. It is the progress that you are making to get there. If you can only save $500 and save 500 and keep doing it, put back five, $10. Physically go to the bank, get cash and put money in a little piggy bank. Have money set aside, so when life happens, you are ready for it. So one thing I do want to share with you is three financial goals that every woman should have. Six months of liquid money. So I say liquid, if you have to pay your rent, mortgage, most of the time you can't put that on a credit card. I don't know how much of the cash advance you can get on a credit card, but you can't use your credit card. So it's some things you're gonna have to have physical liquid cash for retirement contributions. If you're putting back, at least start off somewhere $50, but you cannot stay there. Start off putting monies back, and have a clear debt plan. And you may be saying, Bridgett, I don't have any debt. I hope. Look, I hope that's something you can say. You don't have any debt. It means you don't have a car. No, you don't have a mortgage. You have no credit cards, you have no debt. Then, this is a great time to put your money where it should go; build your credit. You should have a minimum of a 700 credit score. 700. 700, I'm gonna say it again. 700. This is a time where for you to build, for you to grow 700 credit score. Start investing early, as early as possible. Put back 250 a month. Create a savings account just for investing. You're putting this money back if you don't know where to start. You are not for sure what to do. That's why you get the help and the support 'cause I didn't know what to do. So what I did, I hired someone to help me. What are your lifestyle expenses? What is it gonna take to live the lifestyle you want? That's important. Understanding the lifestyle that you want, and know that your future spouse is just there to add to it. They're not there to take away. But then you already have your plan. So when you meet your spouse, you already, you know you're ready to go. You don't have to worry about, oh, I don't know I don't have this. If you want to be a stay at home mom and you say, look, I wanna be able to, say you wanna be at home the first five years, have those conversations. You already have your financial accounts and things set up. So have these things already in place. So when he meets you, you a whole person. You know what this helps you do? Attract the person that you want because if you are together, then you require that he be together. Maybe he doesn't know everything. We don't always know everything, but have some reference of what you want. Now, when you go into this dating situation, have the money conversation early, have it early. When I was dating, I met dudes. Now, when I was in my twenties, I'll say this, and even in my thirties, I didn't date men with children. I just didn't. No, I didn't have an issue with that. You have a child. Beautiful. I did not date men with children. That was one of my requirements. That was a standard that I had. I didn't date a man that smoked cigarettes. That was a standard that I had. Things have probably changed a little bit 'cause I'm a little older, so probably somebody I will meet will have a child now. But no, still one date. A man that you know, man, you can't smoke. The minute you have that conversation early on about their financial life, you will learn what type of person you're dealing with. If they're in back child support, a lot of debt, money issues, don't have any savings, don't invest in, then you decide you want marry this person. That's going to be your problem. That should not be your problem. He needs to have himself hold and fixed and ready to go. He knows that he owes debt and think he needs to figure that out just like you, but it is not your job to figure that out for him. What do you need to pay attention to when you seriously are dating somebody? The red flags or child support inconsistencies, you know his inconsistencies in jobs. He's living at home with his mother or his parents, not paying attention to spending. You see that he's always shopping and buying and doing, but there's no investments. A man that's financially sound talks about what he has. Start dating with intention, not saying you out here to be a gold digger. But you're not out here to get with someone that is a financial burden to you, and they're looking for you to fix it. They're a mama's boy. I've never dated mama's boys because they always gonna be a mama's boy. And then you mad. Does he have to consult with his mother? That means he gonna consult everything with her. So that affects the money. I deal with a lot of clients. I hear the horror stories. So these are the things that you should be focusing on in your single years, right? This is a time for the pruning. This is time to get you together, how to build your foundation, set your retirement accounts up, start investing. If you wanna start the business, start the business, whatever you want to do. This is not a financial pause. This isn't time for empowerment, for growth. This is time for you to say, this is me. This is who I am not with arrogance. Don't throw that in the face of a guy. Don't throw it in their face saying, Hey, this is what I've done. Look at me. I'm No, you're not better. This is time for you to say, look at my accomplishments. You want someone to mimic that you want your partner, whomever he may be, your future partner, should be joining a financially solid woman, not building from scratch, not some broken woman that doesn't understand, can't hold her own. Build that confidence within yourself. This is a time for you to grow. This is a time for no shame, no guilt. Get you together. That was one of the best decisions I made when I was single, was doing that, getting me together financially. 'cause one thing. I've said before my parents fought about money for 46 years because they did not have a system. They did not have a plan, and this will help you when you have a plan. You are going after your goals and your dreams, and what does success look like to you? And only you know that. And that's a wrap, sis. Thank you for tuning in to Sis Mind Your Money. I pray today's episode gave you something real to work with. I'm Bridgett Dickey, your wealth educator and strategist, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, go mind your money, sis. Real quick, if you're loving this show, please take 30 seconds and leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps other women find this show, and it truly means everything to me. Go do it right now while you're thinking about it.