Welcome back to Sis Mind Your Money. I'm Bridgett Dickey. This is episode two of the three M's. Last month, we did the first about mindset. Today, we're gonna be doing all things money and how it works. We're talking about real moves, real systems, the stuff no one taught us. But first, Women Wealth and Wine is one month away, August 26, Houston, Texas, and seats are going fast. Register now at dickeyfinancialfirm.com. Let's get into it. Our first episode was regarding mindset, and how do you think about money? More so, what do you think about yourself? And health is wealth. Can you get your mind in a healthy space so you can build the wealth that you want? And I'll add another thing to it as well. Wealth is not all about the financial. Wealth is much more than always the money. And that's something I want you to really look at. Where, wealth, where do you want that in your life? And it's not always about money. It's much deeper than that. But we're gonna go a little deeper today and talk about money. Now this is no fluff, no judgment, just real talk, okay? This is no judgment. We have all been on the struggle bus, so look, money and how we, how we interact with money, what do we do with it once we get it, we all have made mistakes. So one thing I wanna do is thank everyone who is listening. Please make sure you share, put a five-star review, and part three will be coming up and it will be all things movement. And I'm excited. The Sis Mind Your Money Women, Wealth, and Wine event, August 26th. This is gonna be a great time. Make sure you grab your ticket. We are a month away. This event will sell out. We have opportunities where, of course, if you wanna be a participant, if you're not able to attend, and maybe you live somewhere in another part of the world, and you wanna support the mission and the vision, and my mission is to help 10,000 women by 2028 to put their financial plans on paper. So there will be sponsorship opportunities as well, and I need your help and support to do this. So you can go to dickeyfinancialfirm.com to learn more information and support the vision. So when it comes to money, everybody have different money situations. You could be you're drowning in debt. You could be living off of your credit cards to maintain your lifestyle or even to pay your bills, groceries. Maybe you're in between jobs. You may be unhoused. You may be in a place where life is according to what we say is lifin' all at one time. And normalizing the struggle. Women were never taught to have a plan to manage your money, to invest, grow, save. We just was not taught that. We were taught marry a man with money. He'll figure it out. He'll be your meal ticket. He'll be your plan, and he's your retirement. You'll be okay And that is so wrong Where did you learn it from? What is your story? I had a different, I would say I had a father who said, Baby, have more than one source of income. Don't rely on a man. Don't rely on the government to take care of you. save." But he browbeat me in having multiple ways of making money. My mom didn't do that. My mom was more of the marry Stick with him no matter what. I don't care if he mistreats you. During that time, I was a bigger girl. I have released 100 pounds but in her mind, she felt, keep a man because you're a big woman, nobody wants you. Not mad at her. I would imagine she grew up in a time where that was just, women, you just accept whatever but that shaped me, right? But I listen more to my dad than my mom. So I never forget, I was in a relationship and it was time for me to go. I had been in that relationship too long. He wasn't trying to get married. Don't pressure me. Now we eight years in, what we doing? And at this time I'm mad at myself that I done stayed this long and nothing has come from this. And I done graduated college. I'm trying to move and grow and do and we not growing and moving together. Like what are we doing? And I never forget that day. I finally got the courage, 'cause I was done. I had been there. I done helped him, trying to support do all the things. What we do, women? We stand behind our men, right? And I was just tired. I said, "I can't do this." "I'm not doing this no more. I deserve better." And 'cause I had been there a long... You know, I met him when I was what? 25, 26. I'm getting older. Like this is not the life, this is not what I want. And so I made the decision to choose me, and I called my dad to let him know I'm moving. I have my own place and 'cause I was staying with him, and I said No, a lot-- I'm leaving some stuff out. It was a back and forth. You know how it is. You-- I'm staying with you. I was in college, I left, got my own place, and something happened where he had to move in with me, and I did not want that because at this point I wanna get married. Like, what, what are we doing? And now you staying with me? And every time he turned around, couldn't keep a job. Y'all, I'm being full transparency. And I'm trying, I'm doing this, and I'm like, "I'm done." And it was not-- my ministry wasn't my lane anymore. I don't need to do this with you. So that's when my weight loss journey started. But he was messing with my money. It was things he was costing me. It was things I wasn't paying attention to because I'm more focused on this relationship And then I woke up one day and I shared with him, I'll never forget it. It was February. I can't remember the year, it was February. And I said, At the end of the month, the lease will be up. I am moving. You will not be with me. I don't know where you gonna go, but you gonna go wherever you gonna go." And he didn't think I was being truthful. Like, he thought I was playing. I was serious and started packing up stuff, and he had to figure it out. That was no longer my issue, nor my problem, 'cause I was, financially, I was not in a good place. You costing me money. And I called my dad to say, "Hey, I'm moving." He-- My dad was my sounding board. He was my... That was my dude. I can tell him something, my daddy not gonna sit in judgment. I'ma cry. He go, "It's gonna be okay." He never judged me for the decisions I made, even though he probably didn't like the decisions I was making. But he always told me, "I'm not gonna beat you up because of the decisions you have made." 'Cause he said I done made some decisions, and I'ma take to the grave. And that was our connection, 'cause I could talk to him. And I wouldn't tell my daddy everything, but I said, "Dad, I moved. I'm by myself." He said, "Where are you staying?" My father came and he had to see where his baby was living, and what's going on, how are you. And I told him what happened and he said, "Okay." He said, "So what we need to do? What's the next steps?" And my mom, she came as well, and she said, "Oh, so you left him? I mean, why you just didn't stay? You should have just stayed. It's hard to find a man." And I remember telling her, You don't think I deserve better? He didn't wanna marry me." He's costing me my dream, my money, the things I wanna do, and she said nothing. I was not mad at her, but that's just the reality, and events like that will shape your money story and the way you look at money and how you operate. 'Cause during that time, I wasn't concerned about the Roth IRAs and the 401Ks and..., It was some things I just didn't know, and I know better now. I'm a little older, I'm a little wiser. It's important. So whomever you're dating, how is their financial life? What is going on with them? It is no longer my responsibility that I need to date or marry potential, or we can do it together. Does he have it together before you meet him? And it was the mistakes I made, you know, early on. At that time, not looking... Are you looking at your income coming and going? The expenses? Do you even know what your net worth is? Do you even have a networth? And if you don't, it's okay. But these are the things why I do what I do. These things that I share with you and want you to understand is I need you to know this. Because that man wasn't gonna ma- he wasn't gonna marry me. So when I left, then he decided, "Oh, I went... I got a ring now, but I'm gonna make you laugh." He had put the li- he had put the ring in layaway. I said, "So when am I gonna get it? How long this gonna take you to pay it off?" So he wasn't committed. He didn't want it. He just didn't want, I done been with you, now she gone. Wait, I'm, I messed up. And he still couldn't even show up right. You gonna come back and not even with the ring. It's in layaway. How I know it's in layaway? I know. So I'm telling you, you gotta have your own plan. I love my men. I love my Black men. But I will say this to you, Black, blue, g- green, purple, white, it does not matter. What do you want for your life? What is your money story? And it taught me a lot about myself that, Bridgett, you deserve better. And I started looking more at my money. That event, that relationship changed a lot for me. It pushed me to move, to look at my financial life, 'cause I never wanted to be in that situation again. I never wanted to be in that situation again. So looking at your non-negotiables Do you have an emergency fund? You need to have three months, six months, then a year worth of expenses saved. That's a non-negotiable. Okay? Life insurance outside of work. Protect what you build. Having a retirement account. If you're a business owner, you work for a company, contract worker, whatever your situation is, what is your 401? Do you have one? At work, it does not matter. Having a Roth IRA, pick one. Debt. Consumer debt, get rid of it. Get rid of it. Budget your money. People who are multimillionaires have a budget. If you're making fifty, thirty thousand, twenty thousand, a hundred thousand, six hundred thousand, four hundred thousand, three hundred thou... I don't care, have a budget. Budget your money. Tell your money where to go. The mistakes that most women make, wait until they make more money to do it, then I'll start saving. That's not gonna happen. Letting fear of investing keep you, "I don't wanna lose money. I don't wanna lose it. I gotta keep it in a savings account." You losing by keeping it in a savings account because they gonna take your money that's in that savings account and give it to somebody else to make some money. Those are the things I talk about. Those are the things when women are working with me and when I'm-- when you at that wealth table in the rooms with me, in the environments, in my masterminds, I'm showing you some of these techniques and tricks that they are doing. But you gotta be in the room. Be around the right people. Handling the household money but not knowing the household finances What does the house need to maintain to be taken care of? You holding on, you, you, you got the mo- but what do you really need? Knowing your number, knowing what is it gonna take to live the life I want. No beneficiaries on your bank accounts your retirement accounts. You open up all these accounts, you don't have anyone's name. You have no will, no trust, no medical power of attorney. You're not protecting anything. You're just winging it Being the caretaker of everyone else's finances but your own. You're taking care of your son, your husband, and your grandma, pawpaw, auntie, uncle, the neighbor. I was talking to a colleague of mine and she was going and helping her ex-father-in-law cause he was sick And they wouldn't appreciate... Th- now this her ex-husband's father. I know sometimes we have great relationships still with, if you're divorced and family have children, I get it. But she, the children who lived there in the house with him wasn't taking care of him. So she felt she needed to come over and do it 'cause she can do it better And they were, "Why you here? We don't want that. Why you cooking that? We don't eat that." They didn't appreciate nothing she was doing. But she over there trying to help this man who's dying. You're giving and helping and serving to people who don't want it and don't appreciate it or were not grateful. But she kept doing it. That was the one thing, that she kept doing it. And I understand maybe to her, you know, to help the father. But you helping grown people who don't care about you, and tell you that? And why you doing that? We don't eat that. What does that say? I want you to think about that. Your money is so important that you have a great relationship with it, that you understand it, that you take care of it. I called her Mama Kim. Mama Kim, we used to work together back in the day. She was like a mom to me, and for my birthday, or any time, like for my birthday, we worked together for years. She'd always give me $5 bills. And she said, any time you have your money, you always align your money. Make sure everything is aligned right, and you, all the faces are faced the same way, the numbers." Like you had to align it. You make sure you press it out and you take care of the money. Something as simple as that She taught me that. So every time I keep cash, and I keep cash on me still, and I put my money, I align it, and I think about Mama Kim. Cause she said, "Always take care of your money. Always align it the, in the right direction." I was younger when she was teaching me that, and to see that, that I do that today. I take care of the money. Even the physical money that I get, I make sure it's aligned, it's not in a disarray. I go from lowest to highest or highest to lowest. She said, "Don't mix it up. Put all your ones, all your fives, all your tens, all your twenties, your hundreds." Just even the alignment of the money Take care of your financial life. Make sure you have your money life in order. Know that I am here. The firm is here to help and support you to get you to that point. There is no shade, no tea, no judgment. But it is time for you to take care of your money. How is your money aligned? Go out. If you got some money in your pocketbook right now, align it the right way. Sit down, get a piece of paper, and write out what are you going to do. These next three steps I need to do to start getting my money aligned in the right way So money moves. What money moves you need to start making? What accounts you need to open? What support do you need? What guidance do you need? Book your clarity call with me. Get your consultation. You can go to dickeyfinancialfirm.com. The link will be in the bio. This'll be a time. Get your plan on paper. That's episode two of the three Ms. We went in deep on money today, and I hope you felt it. Your action steps tonight, pull up your bank statement. Look at it. Where's your money actually going? If you don't have a home for your money, it will go somewhere. No judgment, just awareness. Women, Wealth, and Wine is August 26th, and we're getting close. Seats are limited. Sis, stop waiting and register at dickeyfinancialfirm.com. See you then. I'm Bridgett Dickey. Now go mind your money, sis.