WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:07.759 Turn in your Bibles to uh James chapter three this morning, the first 12 verses is where we're gonna be. 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:17.920 Now, if uh you know you can think about your childhood a little bit growing up, um I think we all learned the phrase uh sticks and stones, right? 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:23.120 Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me, right? 00:00:23.359 --> 00:00:30.160 Well, another thing that we learned growing up is that that phrase is a load of garbage, right? 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:31.199 It's hot garbage. 00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:33.039 I mean, it's it's terrible. 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:37.679 Because I mean, we all know, I think, the power of words. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.679 We know the strength of them. 00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:50.960 I think we it's probably safe to say we've all been scarred in some way by um by a cruel or uh a careless or a heartless comment. 00:00:51.679 --> 00:01:05.599 Uh maybe for you you can kind of painfully even think back to a time where you know something had been whispered about you behind your back, and you know, eventually that kind of leaked its way out and got uh to your ears. 00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:20.159 Or maybe even you grew up in a in a context and maybe it was your own family where you know cruel words were screamed at you from about, I don't know, a couple of inches away from your face. 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:26.480 And that was the kind of thing that you uh are used to, and it just evokes a pain. 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:34.079 Okay, well, I think a more accurate way of putting that phrase is sticks and stones may break my bones and names will always hurt me. 00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:58.159 Now, if you've been uh a Christian long enough, uh one of the truly ugly realities that you've you know probably experienced at this point, and I'll be honest, it's not a very well-kept secret, is that sometimes those who profess uh Jesus Christ as Lord are the worst offenders when it comes to the tongue, right? 00:01:58.319 --> 00:01:59.680 When it comes to words. 00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:06.560 Okay, but to echo James himself, as we're gonna see him say here, uh these things ought not to be so. 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:20.400 He's been showing us, you know, all along so far in the first two chapters uh that we've seen just the importance of works in the life of a Christian in that they validate our faith claim. 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:20.879 Right? 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:24.960 They provide, they provide evidence that we are in fact saved. 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:28.240 We looked a lot about that, a lot, a lot at that last week. 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:31.680 And again, it's not that we are saved by our works. 00:02:31.919 --> 00:02:38.319 Paul makes that very clear, but as James really gets at, we are saved to do good works. 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:51.120 Okay, genuine believers, if you are truly a Christian, you will see the fruit of good works produced in your life as the Holy Spirit works in you and works through you. 00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:59.439 And one of those works that you will see is that you'll learn to gain control over your tongue. 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:08.319 It's one of those areas that you know you and I as the church, you know, we gotta put concentrated effort into this. 00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:12.560 I mean, we really do, because our words can be, as we know, violent, right? 00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:19.439 They can be evil and you know, a mixture of that along with, you know, some good words. 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:22.240 I mean, having all that together, that's not okay. 00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:22.800 Right? 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:34.639 It's not all right that we would kind of in our mind think, well, as long as I'm kind of balancing out it out a little bit, and you know, I've got some good things to say to kind of go with the bad, that's that's not fine. 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:35.199 Okay? 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:41.599 If we're as if we're Christians here, we we've got to be struck by the seriousness of this. 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:48.719 You and I should be, I mean, we really should be deeply convicted when we sin with our words. 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:59.120 We should be, you know, so humbled as we think about how difficult it is to get this area under control in our lives, right? 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:14.319 We should feel that urge to cling more closely, more tightly to the Lord Jesus for his strength and his mercy and his power in us as we work to love him well with our lips and love others with our lips as well. 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:18.240 And so I want to read this, uh, what James has to say about it. 00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:22.399 Again, he's so practical, he's he's very direct, he just gets right after it here. 00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:27.360 So follow along with me uh in your copy of God's word, starting in verse one. 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:39.199 It says this Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness, for we all stumble in many ways. 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:46.720 And if any one does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:52.240 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 00:04:52.480 --> 00:05:03.360 Look at the ships also, though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:08.560 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. 00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:16.639 How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire, and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:26.879 The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:36.879 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:40.480 It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:47.040 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:51.600 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:55.199 My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 00:05:55.519 --> 00:06:00.480 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and salt water? 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.519 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives or a grapevine produce figs? 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:09.680 Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. 00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:23.199 Lord, as we think about what we have just read here and even just begin to kind of meditate on that and think about that, Lord, we are struck by just how difficult it is to control the tongue. 00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:26.240 Lord, we confess that we need you. 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:33.279 Lord, I pray that you would do a work of sanctification here today in our church. 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:47.600 Lord, I pray that you would bring the necessary amount of conviction where uh we are allowing our tongue to run rampant, uh, much to the destruction of ourselves and others. 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:52.160 God, I pray, I pray, Lord, that you would protect this church. 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:55.839 Lord, I pray that you would protect the relationships here. 00:06:56.399 --> 00:07:02.240 Lord, I pray that you would allow us to be a healthy church. 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:10.319 Lord, a church where we we don't just say that we love you and we don't just say that we love others, but Lord, we actually do it. 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:24.000 And so, Lord, as we uh take a look at our words and our lips and our tongue, Lord, this whole idea that we can really do harm, Lord, I pray that you would give us strength. 00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:35.680 I pray that uh you would give us the humility required to humble ourselves and seek your face on this, seek you to do a new, a fresh work in us, making us more like Jesus Christ. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:39.279 Lord, I pray that you would do all of this to your glory. 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:41.040 We pray it all in Christ's name. 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:41.920 Amen. 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:42.800 Amen. 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.519 Well, here's the first thing uh here this morning. 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:48.319 If you've got notes and you like to jot things down, here it is. 00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:52.639 I will make every effort to gain control of my tongue. 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:56.319 All right, that is our commitment here as a body of Jesus Christ, right? 00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:03.360 I will make every effort, here's the first thing, knowing its ability to cause such devastating carnage. 00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:03.920 Right? 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:04.879 That's really it here. 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:18.639 Take a look at verse one as we look at the first six verses here and see this, as it says here, uh, not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we, now don't you love how James includes himself in that? 00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:19.199 I love that. 00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:20.560 He's not looking down at everybody else. 00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:22.160 He's not saying, hey, this is what you need to follow. 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:24.879 He's like, I'm putting myself in that as well. 00:08:25.279 --> 00:08:30.639 For you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:58.720 All right, so what we can gather here as we kind of read this is that there were, you know, certain people in these churches that James is writing to here who had an interest in teaching, in some kind of teaching ministry within their uh local body here, and their desire to teach, it gives James here an opportunity to give just really a general warning about the tongue to all. 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:04.240 But he starts off, of course, by addressing those who aspire uh to teach. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:12.240 And now when he says there that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness, he's not exactly trying to like scare everybody away with that, right? 00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:18.320 He's not trying to scare off every aspiring, you know, Bible teacher or or preacher. 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:28.159 But it is, as uh the commentator Douglas Mu puts it, that teachers expose themselves to a greater danger of judgment. 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:36.879 Their constant use of the tongue means that they can sin very easily, leading others astray at the same time. 00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:51.840 Okay, if you see a bead of sweat trickling down from me, it's because I'm taking that to heart, see the responsibility that teachers of God's word have, it's just so substantial in God's eyes. 00:09:52.159 --> 00:10:11.440 There's such a weight to it that if we were to aspire, any of us to aspire to that kind of role, if it's a commendable aspiration, mind you, but but if you if you were to aspire to that, but but you don't have good control of your tongue and you don't watch your mouth, James is essentially saying, forget about it. 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:11.919 Right? 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:13.759 Don't don't even go there. 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:20.960 Like continue to bring that stint to the Lord, continue to confess that, but but but go and serve somewhere else, right? 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:32.399 Go do go do something, anything else, because because you won't be able to handle the extra scrutiny that comes along with that. 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:41.360 Now, those of us here, not just me, but any of us here in in teaching roles, I mean, that's that's kind of freaky, isn't it? 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:44.480 It's a fearful thing to consider. 00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:46.159 And I mean, it really should be here. 00:10:46.480 --> 00:11:00.000 You know, it's a good thing for you and I to be, you know, kind of forced into some sobering, you know, self-reflection here where we're kind of like, like, whoa, whoa, like this is this is a serious call, right? 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:02.399 The standard is is high. 00:11:02.879 --> 00:11:15.120 And as you kind of think about that and you think about your own life and and kind of where your tongue took you this week, it kind of makes you realize, like, you know, I'm I'm not perfect in this area. 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:15.759 Right? 00:11:15.919 --> 00:11:21.200 I've been thinking that all week as I've been spending time uh in these verses here. 00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:24.399 Like I've like I'm not perfect. 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:24.879 Right? 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:31.360 I I've messed up plenty of times with with my words and and with my tongue. 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:36.000 And I mean, that's what James really gets at here in verse 2. 00:11:36.159 --> 00:11:42.080 You know, we're not perfect, and I mean he even broadens his scope here to really include everyone now, not just aspiring teachers. 00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:44.879 He says this, for we all stumble, right? 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:46.320 Stumbling meaning sin, right? 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:49.759 We all we all sin in many ways, very general. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:12:07.279 And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he's a perfect man, able to also, or able also to bridle, that word bridle there literally means like to keep in check, okay, able also to bridle his whole body. 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:14.480 Okay, so what is he what he's doing is he's getting at how powerful that the tongue really is. 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:24.879 And it is, you know, if you were in or I were to somehow, you know, attain perfection in the area of our tongue, in our words, in our speech. 00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:28.320 Okay, by the way, not that we ever will attain that, right? 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:32.639 Not in this, not in this lifetime, but again, that's that's what we're striving towards, right? 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:33.840 In in Christ. 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:42.480 But but you know, he's he's he's essentially saying if you were able to attain perfection in this area, you would be a perfect person as a whole. 00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:48.960 Okay, it's James's way of saying, you control your tongue, you control everything. 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:49.519 Right? 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:51.600 That's the strength of it. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:57.440 Now, a few illustrations here of what he means starting in verse 3. 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:03.840 He says, if we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, think what how small a bit is. 00:13:04.080 --> 00:13:06.399 Okay, we guide their whole bodies as well. 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:08.399 Horses are kind of huge. 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:09.039 Right? 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:10.879 Look at the ships also. 00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:15.519 Though they are so large and are driven by strong winds. 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:19.600 Just picture the raging seas that you know, even the scriptures talk about. 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:20.240 Right? 00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:29.360 Even though they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:38.159 So also the tongue is a small member, small body part, yet it boasts of great things. 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:41.679 You know, this word, the use of the word boasts there. 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:46.559 This is actually the only time it really uses it this way in the New Testament. 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:53.679 It has less to do with like arrogant, you know, boasting and pride that kind of naturally comes to mind when we think of that uh word there. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.480 Um, though, of course, the tongue certainly does do that as well. 00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:57.279 We know that. 00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:04.879 Rather, it's it's used here to say that the tongue is truly capable of uh of boasting and having immense power. 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:06.159 It can claim that, right? 00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:09.840 It's got major, major strength. 00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:13.279 You know, keep going, verse five part way down. 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:15.200 Keeps going with the illustrations. 00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:20.000 He says, How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:21.759 I mean, even a spark, right? 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:26.639 He says, and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:29.919 The tongue is set among our members. 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:33.519 Again, body parts there, staining or corrupting the whole body, right? 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:41.360 The whole person setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell. 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:42.000 Right? 00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:46.639 I would say that's that's pretty strong language that he's using there, is it not? 00:14:47.120 --> 00:15:26.559 Now, the the thrust of these, you know, all of these verses that we're looking at right here, this entire section, as you kind of like tie it all together, is that, you know, as a horse is guided by a bit in its mouth, right, a small bit, and as a ship is is guided by a small rudder, right, as directed by the will of the pilot there, as a small fire can wreak havoc on the life of a forest setting it ablaze, so can your uncontrolled tongue guide, direct, you know, set on fire the entire course of life. 00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:27.279 Right? 00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:33.279 Yours, your life, and of course, the lives of others. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:38.240 Very forceful language from James here. 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:50.559 He's getting us to kind of know and recognize and realize just how destructive such a small part of the body can be. 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:56.399 And of course, it's not like it's like really the muscle itself, the organ of the tongue. 00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:58.960 It's it's the heart behind that. 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:02.639 The heart directs what the tongue says. 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:10.639 So if your tongue is spewing garbage, it's saying something about where your heart is at. 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:21.840 And James is saying, if you haven't gained control uh of your tongue, really what you what you become is just an instrument of devastating carnage. 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:22.799 Right? 00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:25.759 Set on fire by hell. 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:26.320 Right? 00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:47.679 He's talking about the demonic, satanic influence of you know, of your words to ruin both your effectiveness in the building up of the church, and of course destroying the lives of others within the church. 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:57.279 So listen, let's apply this here very directly, okay, to us, right, to our church. 00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:16.720 Okay, if you've got a fiery tongue, if you've got loose lips, okay, whether it be you know gossip and and the whispering and that I've got information about somebody and I just have to disseminate that, and I've got that drive and that urge. 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:18.720 I like how that how that feels. 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:33.200 If it's slander and you you like to cut people down and carve them down to sides, if it's a a critical spirit where you like to think of yourself as helpful in that, but you're really you're just again, you're you're breaking things down, it's coming out of your mouth. 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:37.279 If it's for you, just you know, harsh, sarcastic comments. 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:38.000 I'm being funny. 00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:38.960 No, you're not. 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:39.359 Right? 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:45.599 If if that's you and it's just it's cruel, listen, please confess and repent. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:46.799 Right? 00:17:46.880 --> 00:17:55.440 You need to realize that if if if this is where your words go and and this is what your heart is directing, you need to lay that before the Lord. 00:17:55.519 --> 00:17:58.880 You need to confess that, you need to turn away from that. 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:05.759 Understand that the Lord who has has saved you is gracious and he is merciful and he will be right there to forgive you. 00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:09.519 He wants to work in you, he wants to change you. 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.079 He wants to make you new and he wants to use you as an instrument of blessing in people's lives. 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:19.440 Not to be carving them up and and cutting them down. 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:21.440 Please confess and repent. 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:23.839 That is the urge here today. 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:41.039 But listen, if you won't do that, if you insist on hardening your heart, if even as I'm kind of talking to you right now, you've got like the inner lawyer going on in your mind where you're like, oh, you know what? 00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:44.880 It's okay that I said that, and that person really deserved it. 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:54.400 And you know, well, they you know, if that's you and you're hardening your heart and you refuse to turn, listen, I will say this as directly as I can. 00:18:55.039 --> 00:18:56.319 Please leave. 00:18:57.039 --> 00:18:57.759 Please. 00:18:58.640 --> 00:19:00.559 Again, that that's that's not what we want. 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:01.759 We want you to stay here. 00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:06.640 We want you to to grow and be a vital part of the of this body that God is building here. 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:15.519 But if you are working against all of that and you are again tearing people down and and injuring and inflicting harm, just go. 00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:16.799 Right? 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:18.160 Go somewhere else. 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:21.279 Like we we we don't want that here. 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:29.839 Now you might be thinking, man, that's not a real great you know, church growth strategy, Pastor. 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:31.599 Okay? 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:33.039 Don't care. 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:34.799 Not into that. 00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:39.039 Listen, into healthy church, strong church. 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:49.279 Either get on board, allow the Lord to soften your hard heart, confess your sin, or go. 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:54.880 Honestly, that's that's where this is driving us to. 00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:57.359 A little strong, Pastor. 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:00.000 Listen, what James is saying here is strong. 00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:01.200 It really is. 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:08.079 Christ is building his church, and uncontrolled tongues tear it down. 00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:13.599 I mean, I don't know how to be more clear and more direct than that. 00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:31.839 Listen, with all of that said, I think it's probably pretty good for us to also just kind of consider some of the other areas of our lives, some of our you know, our other relationships and the different ways that these verses can be applied as well, right? 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:40.640 We need to be considering, you know, constantly how our tongues might be inflicting, you know, this kind of damage, this carnage again on any of our relationships. 00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:52.720 You know, so if you're you know here today and and and you're you know you're married and you know you've got you know a spouse and all that, think about your words towards your spouse. 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:56.000 Are they healthy? 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:00.720 Are are you are you seeking to build up your wife? 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:04.480 Are you seeking to build up your husband? 00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:09.359 Or is it do you do you tear down? 00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:10.960 Do you do you critique? 00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:14.720 Are you constantly like, is it is it nitpicking? 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:21.279 Is it like nothing is ever good enough and and you have no problem letting your spouse know it? 00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:29.440 And you might think it's subtle, but over time it just builds up and it builds up and it builds up and it's it's so unhealthy. 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:32.000 Osman, do you love your wives? 00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:34.240 Do you tell them that? 00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:39.039 Do you do you express your joy in your marriage? 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.920 Are you patient with your spouse? 00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:44.799 Wives likewise. 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:49.599 What are your words like when it comes to your your marriage? 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:53.279 Or, you know, maybe it's even in your dating relationship. 00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:58.640 And you're not married yet, but you maybe hope to be, and you're either dating or you're single listening. 00:21:58.720 --> 00:21:59.599 You gotta think about this. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.119 When you're looking for somebody to marry, how do they treat you with their words? 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:10.000 Well, you know, it's it's not perfect, but you know, no, no one's really perfect. 00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:14.480 And yeah, he says some things that are pretty direct and kind of hurtful at times. 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:23.440 Listen, if he's saying that now, try and fast forward 10 or 15 or 20 years into marriage and imagine how ugly that can get. 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:25.920 It's important that we think about this. 00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:30.640 Not just in our marriages, but in our parenting as well. 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:35.599 How do you how do you discipline your kids? 00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:48.240 Dad, are you screaming and are you flipping out because your kids kind of upset your status quo and the comfort of your life? 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:52.400 Do you know how to discipline with gentleness? 00:22:53.839 --> 00:23:00.960 Being direct, going after the heart issues that are there, but but doing it with kindness. 00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:09.599 Doing it where in a way where you don't just devastate your children and cause them to fear you in a negative way. 00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:14.960 How are your words to your kids? 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:17.279 How about this one? 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:20.880 Kids, how are your words to your parents? 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:22.240 Right? 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:25.119 Especially as you get a little bit older, young ones. 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:27.920 You know, and you're in junior high or in senior high. 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:33.359 I mean, I think every adult, every parent here, we just put our parents through the ringer, right? 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:38.880 And we, you know, we carve them up all the time and we gave them a hard time and we said awful things about them. 00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:44.960 And listen, this is as much to you as well, kids, as it is to your parents. 00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.559 How about just our general friendships? 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:54.319 Maybe it's with people here in the church, maybe it's with friends outside of the church and our neighborhoods. 00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:56.240 What are your words like to them? 00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:04.240 If you want to get real convicting, how about our how the way we handle ourselves in social media? 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:04.720 Right? 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:10.079 Personally, I just I just actually canned my Facebook account a couple of like a month ago, maybe. 00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:11.599 Man, it feels good. 00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:12.160 Right? 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:23.839 But you know, as you're involved in you know, Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or whatever it might be, how how do you express yourself in those things, in those ways? 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:26.319 Are you blunt? 00:24:26.640 --> 00:24:28.480 Are you harsh? 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:31.440 Do you tear people down? 00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:33.839 Do you do you build them up? 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:35.200 I mean, we got to think about this. 00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:38.640 That's an extension of our of our tongue. 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:50.640 Listen, learn to spot where your tongue, your words are causing devastation and damage and carnage and learn to see all of that. 00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:55.839 You might be thinking, okay, Pastor, I think I hear that, but but now what? 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.079 Like I kind of see where I'm doing some things. 00:24:58.160 --> 00:24:59.440 Like, what do I do next? 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:01.599 Like, how do I how do I deal with this? 00:25:01.759 --> 00:25:03.839 Well, here's the second thing. 00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:13.279 I'll make every effort to gain control of my tongue, recognizing that I have no power in and of myself to tame it. 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:17.839 You might be thinking, well, that doesn't actually sound helpful at all, Pastor, to realize that. 00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:23.759 Well, listen, this might sound on the surface a little on the hopeless side, but it's actually the furthest thing from that. 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:29.759 It's empowering, and it's an incredibly important and necessary thing for all of us to recognize. 00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:31.839 Take a look at verse seven. 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:43.359 James says, for every kind or every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind. 00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:48.799 But then this but no human being can tame the tongue. 00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:55.599 He says it's a it's a restless evil full of deadly poison. 00:25:57.119 --> 00:26:05.039 Now, when I see that word restless there, I just like naturally automatically think to kids on summer vacation. 00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:05.599 Right? 00:26:05.759 --> 00:26:07.599 And my kids just started that this week. 00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:12.720 And I mean, you you know if you've got young ones at home, how how they're they're just restless. 00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:13.359 Right? 00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:22.559 They're they're bored and you know they wanna they want to go do something, and if they're not constructive, it naturally turns to destructive, right? 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:26.000 They end up going and doing something bad a lot of the time. 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.720 Okay, the tongue is kind of like that. 00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:39.119 It's restless, it wants to commit evil, it wants to spew deadly poison, and it will inevitably, if it is not under control. 00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:46.559 Now, this verse isn't saying that it's impossible to grow in this area. 00:26:47.200 --> 00:27:00.960 It's not saying it's impossible to see your words reined in and to get to a point where you know you're you're a kindler, kinder or gentler, or you know, or more uh gracious person in your speech. 00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:02.480 It's not saying that. 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:06.720 What it is saying is that on your own, you can't fix it. 00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:07.279 Right? 00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:10.240 No human being can tame the tongue. 00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:11.920 Okay, but God can. 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:15.119 He can do that in you through you. 00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:16.240 Right? 00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:23.599 And so maybe you're kind of thinking right now, okay, so if I can't tame my tongue, what exactly can I do? 00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:24.640 I can't do it. 00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:27.680 You know, I thought I'm supposed to make every effort, man. 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:30.960 Make every effort to watch my mouth. 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:38.400 How can I like you know put forth effort here if in the end I don't really have any power? 00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:38.799 Right? 00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:40.640 And I can't really do this. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.680 I can't produce real change in myself. 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:56.480 Well, I think you know, therein lies the tension between man's responsibility and God's power that's necessary to make change happen. 00:27:56.799 --> 00:28:01.759 All right, so again, if I can't tame my tongue, what can I do? 00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:02.960 We're gonna write these things down. 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:04.000 It'll be on the screen. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:06.559 We've got three things here. 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:12.559 First thing you need to do, embrace your helplessness. 00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:14.960 Embrace your helplessness. 00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:20.720 Now, this for you will be so counterintuitive. 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:21.200 Right? 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:21.519 It is. 00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:22.720 Wait a second. 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:24.559 Like helplessness, I hate that. 00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:30.559 Like I want, I want to operate, I want to think of myself, I want to function as somebody who is strong. 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:34.160 I want to function uh you know from a position of power. 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:37.759 What do you mean I'm supposed to embrace my helplessness? 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:43.440 This is, again, the opposite of what your instinct your instincts will tell you and try to get you to do. 00:28:43.759 --> 00:28:46.880 But remember, we need to hold to proper doctrine here. 00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:50.960 That you and I, we are we are so unable to change our hearts, right? 00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:55.519 And it's from the heart, John said it, from the heart the mouth speaks. 00:28:56.319 --> 00:29:00.000 We can't change it, but but God can. 00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:04.640 And so we need to learn to just embrace that weakness. 00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:08.559 Embrace that, because that's when God can get work done. 00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:11.680 Here's what 2 Corinthians 12, 9 and 10 says. 00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:18.799 It says, this is Paul, he says, but he, this is God, said to me, My grace is sufficient for you. 00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:23.519 For my power, God's power, is made perfect in weakness. 00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:29.680 Therefore, Paul says, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness. 00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:31.599 You see how he's just embracing it? 00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:34.160 He's like, Bring on the fact that I got nothing. 00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:34.640 Right? 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:36.000 That's that's the best. 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:42.480 Because when I when I see that, when I understand that, when I've when I've embraced that, that's when God can be strong in me. 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:49.680 He says, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 00:29:50.319 --> 00:29:58.160 For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. 00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:03.359 And he says, This for when I am weak, then I am strong. 00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:05.359 Embrace your weakness. 00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:07.599 Second thing, what else can I do? 00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:10.240 Well, surrender this sin to the Lord. 00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:11.920 Surrender it. 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:17.200 The idea being here, you know, fall on your knees. 00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:19.680 You know, humble yourself. 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:22.720 Get low before the Lord and just surrender. 00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:23.759 Lord, I can't fix this. 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:24.720 I've I've tried. 00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:26.960 I tend to just make more of a mess of this. 00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:29.039 Lord, would you just, would you take this? 00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:30.720 Would you do something with this? 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:43.599 It's expressing your repentance in that moment, your your total, your complete dependence on Christ to make it happen in you, that you're at his that his mercy to change you and provide grace, right? 00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:45.440 That's that's you just surrendering. 00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:47.519 I'm not I'm not fighting this anymore, Lord. 00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:49.119 It's it's you that does it. 00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:53.119 Here's what Romans 6.13 says. 00:30:53.440 --> 00:31:02.079 It says, do not present your members, remember he's talking about the body here to not present your members to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourselves. 00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:03.359 There's a surrender in that. 00:31:03.519 --> 00:31:15.279 Present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members, think about the tongue now in our context, your members to God as instruments for righteousness. 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:16.720 Right? 00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:18.240 Surrender this to Him. 00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:24.160 Last thing here, if I can't tame my tongue, what exactly can I do? 00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:28.960 Well, part of it is just waiting and seeing what the Lord does. 00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:33.200 Right now, these three things, these are, these are kind of all happening simultaneously. 00:31:33.279 --> 00:31:38.640 I'm seeking to kind of like spread them out, unpack them a little bit here, but all of these are really kind of working together. 00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:40.799 But you've you've got to wait and see what God does. 00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:49.359 It means you've got to be you've got to be patient as you confess these things, as you, as you surrender, as you embrace the weakness and the helplessness and all of that. 00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:51.200 You've got to you've got to be patient. 00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:57.519 Verily, very rarely does transformation and and change in your life happen overnight. 00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:59.200 Often doesn't work that way. 00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:01.599 So be so so you gotta wait it out here. 00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:02.720 Trust the Lord, right? 00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:05.039 Be be faithful to him. 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:15.680 Be prayerful, take every opportunity to continue to pray about this this issue of your words and your tongue and and how you treated people. 00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:20.240 And as you're doing that, here's God's promise to you, 1 Peter 5, 6. 00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:26.720 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so at the proper time he may exalt you. 00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:30.000 He'll work in you, he'll change you. 00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:34.400 He'll do it on his timing, though, when he sees that it's right. 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:39.440 Continue to humble yourself, wait and see what God does. 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:51.839 Listen, recognizing that I have zero power in and of myself to tame my tongue, that's the furthest thing from devastating and hopeless. 00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:54.400 It's actually, it's actually liberating. 00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:55.279 Right? 00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:59.839 Because now I know I know where my power comes from. 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:00.319 Right? 00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:12.000 Not from sad, you know, self-made efforts that just you know, at best disguise pride and and just promote more self-reliance. 00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:13.519 I I can do this. 00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:20.880 My power to control and guide and and steer my tongue in the right direction. 00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:22.880 That that comes from the Holy Spirit. 00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:24.799 That comes from Him. 00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:32.720 As we recognize that, that's when we start cooking with gas. 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:36.240 Final thing here. 00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:45.039 I will make every effort to gain control of my tongue, conceding that if I don't, it means that I'm not right with God. 00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:49.440 Okay, we see that expressed here starting in verse 9. 00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:50.000 Take a look. 00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:59.039 It says, with it, with our tongue, we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 00:33:59.279 --> 00:34:04.400 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. 00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:11.440 And so in this, he's he's he's ref referencing the you know the inconsistency in that, right? 00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:19.119 And even the the gross hypocrisy for a believer to behave in a way such as that. 00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:29.599 Right now, now, cursing here it means far more than how kind of we think of that word as like squaring at somebody or you know, using abusive language or that type of thing. 00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:44.320 And in the ancient world, it had more to do with a strong desire to see someone cut off from any and all blessing from God, and essentially a desire to see them wrought in hell. 00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:44.880 Right? 00:34:45.039 --> 00:35:00.239 That and so James is saying, from the same mouth, we lift our hands in worship, we praise him, we recite doctrine and theology, and we want to see people burn. 00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:03.760 Dark. 00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.119 Right? 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:07.760 That's heavy. 00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:20.000 A tongue that communicates that type of heart desire towards somebody who's made in the likeness of God, he says, made in God's image. 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:22.480 I mean, it is just is this obvious? 00:35:22.559 --> 00:35:29.519