Pt 1, Katie Lessard Testimony

An inspiring raw journey for a new mom of a special needs baby.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hey guys, welcome to the Lafayette Prayer Room Podcast where we discuss growing in God through prayer, worship, and the word in the context of a prayer room. So we are a prayer room for all of Lafayette, for all of the churches of Lafayette. Anybody who loves Jesus is welcome to join us. Today, our guest is Katie Lasard. She is a 26-year-old wife and new mother. And today, our episode is Katie's testimony of giving birth, walking through, um, finding out she has a special needs child. Katie is also my daughter-in-law. She is married to my youngest son, Hayden.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

And because we're talking about my story and connection to the prayer room, why don't you tell them what prayer room is?

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Yes. So a prayer room is a community of believers who we are working towards 24-7 prayer and worship going up to the Lord from the Lafayette area. Right now we're currently only at 18 hours, but we believe he's worthy of 24-7 worship and prayer going up. So we're hoping to work towards that 24-7 soon. But right now, that's what we can do. Okay, Katie. So tell us first of all, before you even had the baby about your life coming up and landing in the prayer room.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Yes, so I grew up in a Christian home, Christian private school, almost my entire life. Church and school was my life. I am so thankful for that. And middle of high school, I began to go on mission trips with our local church and just fell in love with that. And so I knew out of high school, I didn't want to do anything else but go into the mission field. And so after high school, I joined a ministry called Youth with a Mission, YM. And that was a six-month school. The first three months, it's um a school class setting, and then the second three-month is in the field, and so I spent three months in Africa for my outreach part of the school, and I knew my life calling was in ministry some sort of way. I was abandoned for Jesus as an 18-year-old.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

So coming back home from YWAM, what was that like?

SPEAKER_01 2:30

When you're in an atmosphere in such a concentrated community of spiritualities and coming back, I couldn't come back home and just live life as usual or normal. I was so hungry. Because in that season, I really encountered Jesus in a very intimate way. I I'd known him my whole life, and I've experienced his presence in many ways growing up, but this was a whole another world and facet of him. And I knew you were over the prayer team at our church. I was dating Hayden at the time, you know, Hayden's bomb. And so when I came back home, I was like, I'm just hungry for him and his presence. So honestly, I never came to the prayer group. Honestly, for prayer, I came to worship and be in his presence, and that just locked me in.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

So before you got pregnant, what was your role? Take them into your world before the baby. What was your role in the program?

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So I was on the leadership team. I helped lead sets on stage, off of stage, on the floor, and I was helping develop our end-time study course at the time.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Right. So that was a big part of our world before Abram was ETS. We call it ETS or end time studies. Uh, it really was a three-year in-depth course on end times that the Lord really called us to, that we said yes to, and we're going to do a whole episode on just that because it's really become a component in our prayer room. But we did we just jumped in with both feet, and it entailed listening to a teaching several times a week, doing our own Bible study on a couple of chapters a week, and then we would meet to debrief over everything we had found in our Bible study, and then we ended up doing a worship with the word set off of those chapters in the Bible study. So that journey took us a place we were not expecting at all. Number one, on a subject we didn't feel like we were very informed on before, we thought we were going in to just get the storyline, the pieces of the puzzle, but we were finding his heart all over the end time story and intimacy with him throughout it. So it really just launched us in a place we didn't know we were going to go as we started to dig into it. And for us, it was a bond that created because of the amount of time spent together and working towards that common goal. And we were the only two doing it. So then going into those worship with the word sets, that was a whole other bonding element of this that we didn't have with anyone else, that we were going places together spiritually. So it really, those three years, we were just joined at the hip.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Yeah, it was a whole other facet of Jesus as the bridegroom, king, and judge who's coming. It's the one we love and we know, but it was it was like a whole other world opened up to our hearts, and he began to meet us in those sets that we would do. Just you and I in a room. And it became personal, um, and it really did bond us together. We were really going full force in Bible study, in in the sets together. We would meet for breakfast every week, discuss the Bible study. Um yeah, it was such a beautiful season.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Yeah, we called it our part-time job because of the hours and a week that went in to doing that. It was it was a big commitment.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

And then on top of all of that, we were trying to make our own course out of it. Like as we're studying, we are trying to gather all the things that we can teach it to our community. So that was a whole other aspect too.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

So in the middle of that course, this is the first time you get pregnant. So go into that.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yes. So in the middle of the ETS study, Jesus, in my own personal walk and prayer times, he began to really show me and teach me how he's the keeper of my heart. He's the keeper of the flame of my heart, like my love for him. And in that time, I met him and experienced him in that way. And I was thinking, I'm getting to experience this part of you so that I'll be ready in the end times, so I'll know you're gonna keep me, you're faithful to my heart. But little did I know just a few months later, that I would experience a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, and that was the first true crisis of my life. That was the true um shaking that I've never experienced before. And I just can look back and say, wow, you know all things, and you really are the keeper of my heart. And I thought he was gonna keep me, and he will, you know, keep me in what's coming. But in that season, that's what I needed. He's the keeper of my heart, he's the keeper of my flame.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah, and it was in that season, especially that second half. It would have been after the miscarriage, that second half where we really started to soar. We caught our stride in that study, and just the the rapid growth with the Lord really was spurring us on, and it it boiled down to those worship with the word sets where we were encountering him in powerful ways. Uh, and I felt like we just were soaring at that time. So, this is the season that you're in. We literally finished one or two weeks, the study, and then you had Abram. Yeah, so it literally went right up to, which was not planned. We just started this, you weren't even pregnant when we started. So but it it the Lord had ended it exactly. You didn't have to cut it short, you didn't have to miss any. We finished it right before. So you got pregnant the second time. What were the first signs that there was trouble with the pregnancy?

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Everything was going great until the halfway mark at 20 weeks, you get a scan of the baby, the measurements of all the things, and it was like multiple things was red flagged. And so we got sent to a maternal fetal medicine, basically a specialist uh for high-risk pregnancies, and that was when the two crisis hit. Hayden was out of town for this appointment. So our doctor initially was like, Hey, these are the few things I see. I'm gonna send you there because she knows more. Um, and so it was kind of like, oh, okay, but we didn't know anything. So Hayden was out of town for work. Thank God my mom was with me for this appointment with the um specialist, and I'll never forget. Um, after they do the whole scan, she walks in with a sticky note, and there's four or five bullet points of major, major things. And that shook us. Um, and having a previous miscarriage, it was like, whoa, it was like what what are we about to experience? And that was filled with, as you can imagine, so much fear, anxiety, uncharted territory, the unknown. So that's where it began.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

So at that time, when you are in unknown waters, what did it mean to be part of a prayer room community? Um just be around people who spiritually supported you and you knew we're praying. The prayer room as well as your family. Everything.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

I mean, when the wind gets knocked out of you, who's there to pick you up? You know, it's that's what I felt like in that season. And up until I had Abram, I had to go to the specialist twice a week on top of my normal appointments. And I remember Monday afternoons was always an appointment, and we had prayer Monday nights, and so right after the appointment, I'd go to the prayer room until I had to leave the set, and that just being in worship and atmosphere of other believers in your room, and that lift your spirit just in general, and that it truly anchored me in that season.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

So, what were your prayer room times like in in that time when your personal time uh with the Lord in the prayer room, like in that moment where it was starting to get scary?

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah, I didn't let my foot off the gas hardly as far as the prayer room or in-time study. Um, I'm thankful for that because you know, Jesus said you will have trials in this life, but take heart, I have overcome the world, and being in a room and in a community that that is the focus, he is the focus, the hope that we have is the focus, and being drawn into the eternal perspective that is an anchor, and so sets in the prayer room helped me in those moments. Like he is the anchor, he is steadfast, my hope is steadfast. And then there were sets where you know we were in an end-time study, we were in this set. I remember one very specifically, and he we weren't even praying about miracles, and he just turned to us and made it personal.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Yes, yes. So this set was on, I think we were in Revelation at the time. We were spending the two hours on the revelation chapters. In the years of the prayer room, that is a moment that is a distinct moment that stands out in my mind as that set when that was saying. Um, you were prayer leader, it was me, you and Felicia on stage, and I started singing out miracles are happening here in the waiting, miracles are happening here in the pain. Because we were talking about challenging times and revelation. So it was that waiting before the Lord, and I sang it a couple of times and then realized, oh, this is personal to us. He's telling us. I was weeping, I was trying to sing. Um, I I didn't look at you at first because I heard you, and we have in ears in our ears, so we can hear each other more. And all I heard was so I knew you were crying, and I knew I needed to keep going and not turn it over to you at that time. And Felicia was so helpful because we were both crying, and she helped just carry it a while while we got ourselves together.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Yeah, and in that season, I never had to believe and pray for a miracle like that ever before. I have experienced financial provision, miracles. I walked with my best friend a few years ago with health issues, but it's a little different when it's you or yours. There's a fire, there's a desperation. And in that season, I really felt grace to believe for miracles. And we have a couple with Abram, our my boy. Um, one is really big, and it was one that she had on the bullet point. That's a story for another day. That could be a whole podcast. But that is the beauty of our community in the prayer room, having other believers, especially intercessors, to stand with me when I couldn't, and that was beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

And the Lord knows just the right moment to make it super personal. He always does that, he does, he does it in the prayer room where we think we're coming to to pray for this specific thing or um spend time in the word in this specific thing, and and we do do that, but at just the right moments, he makes it so about today and where our heart is, and he turns it to a very specific message he is seeing over us or a truth he's revealing that's really opening up because of the season we're in. So I love the mix of there are focuses, there is things we want to cover in the word and a worship with the word, but all throughout there sprinkled in, the Lord is breaking in and speaking what he wants to speak in those moments too. So, in that season, the the last season before the baby, what were your expectations of yourself after you would have the baby? Like what was in your mind about how this was gonna go?

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Well, I've been a part of the program for almost 10 years now, and we have been connected with other programs and leaders and intercessors, a part of other programs, and I always imagined and pictured my family, you know, Hayden praying in sets and me leading sets, our children running around or coming praying with me in the program. I've seen it modeled, and that is the most beautiful thing to me. Families laying down the American dream, laying down their dreams, laying down their life as a family. Give up all for Jesus and the place of intercession, and I really saw that as a dream in my heart, and quickly realized it's not gonna look exactly like I've dreamed.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Okay, so he finally makes his appearance. Abram Wells came into the world, and when did you get the diagnosis of his syndrome?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

So Abram went straight into the NICU right after I had him. We were expecting that. It wasn't until two weeks into the NICU's day that we got an actual diagnosis. Whenever we went to the specialist when I was still pregnant, it was a guess, but you don't know they needed blood from the baby, they needed certain things to really get a diagnosis, and we weren't willing to take that risk, especially because of prior miscarriage, and nothing can change. And so we just waited until he was here. So it's two weeks in, but then when we get that diagnosis, it's such a whirlwind. Uh, you're in the NICU, you just met your baby, you are most likely nursing, pumping, you have all the hormones. I was at a C-section, so I was on medication, I was in pain, um, and just getting thrown so many curveballs left and right, kind of don't know which way is straight or not. Um, and so it was it was a lot, but then when we got the diagnosis, it was still like it is this, but we don't know how this is gonna play out because it's a genetic condition, and the survival and the development of each child in person with this, it is a massive spectrum. So they're like, here's what it is, but we cannot tell you what your life will look like. That is a tough pill to swallow. The syndrome that he's diagnosed with is a lot of just letters in Smith Lindley opid syndrome. In simplest and easy terms to understand, his body does not produce or process cholesterol. And I've learned that most every organ in your body needs cholesterol function, and so that is where defects come in, developmental delays come in. Um, when we got the diagnosis, they also said, hey, it could just be cognitive. Um, so we knew we were dealing with something. We had no idea the complexity, the severity. I mean, we still, his whole life, we will live in the unknown until his life plays out.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

We get the diagnosis, and we none of us have ever heard of this. So we're all just starting to research what are we looking at? What could this possibly be? And like you said, there were more questions than answers for sure, um, because each case was so different. And we kept thinking as we progressed with time with Abram, um, we were thinking it was going to be a milder version than what it has ended up being. He's full special needs by all accounts. He's a special needs child, cognitive, behavioral, medical, all of it, which we didn't know at that time. But I almost think it was the grace of God that we found out a little bit and then a little bit more, and then a little bit more, because it would have overwhelmed us how we had all the information that we have today. Back then, we we just were given a little bit, then a little bit more, and so we could kind of swallow that, digest it, process it, and then we'd find out a little bit more. So none of us knew what we were looking at. We just had more questions as we began to research and dive in. So tell them about life in the NICU.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, that is quite a ride. Like I said, I was still in pain, had a C-section. Um, I truly believe if you have a C-section and you have to go to the NICU, you're almost forced to try to heal faster because you gotta get up and go. So Hayden would jot me off in the morning most times, so we can go to work, and I would just stay the day or through the evenings. And so after we get the diagnosis, about a few days almost a week, they start saying, Look, he he was awake, but he was never in the NICU awake long enough to try to nurse or take the bottle or anything. So that was a big reason why he stayed in the NICU for so long, is because of feeding. And so three weeks in the NICU stay. They're like, hey, we need to transfer him to another NICU two hours away via helicopter, so that he can get a surgery he needs for a feeding tube. Um, so that was like another whiplash. Um, and that was pretty much the first, like, whoa, this is getting severe more than we were thinking. So he takes a helicopter ride at three weeks old, and Hayden and I drive there, and and so in the NICU, and once we get home, I never expected. The feeling that it is when a mother has to leave her child she just gave birth to that she's bonding with, maybe nursing, you have to leave them for the night or for the afternoon or for a few hours to leave them is absolutely heartwrenching. And then on top of it, we have no clue what his life looks like. I mean, there were so many nights where I couldn't sleep because I was like, is he am I gonna get a call that he didn't make it? Like so many nights in the NICU, and then we're hours away from home from our people. Y'all did come visit quite a few times, my family and you guys, but that was raw and real emotions that was in the middle of it all.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

So in that time, in the NICU time, and he was in the NICU how long total?

SPEAKER_01 22:55

A whole month.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

A month. So a month in the NICU. What did it mean to you at that time to know you had the prayer room behind you praying, your family actually praying for you? Could you feel it, or were you just in the weeds the whole time?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

I would say it was a little bit of both for sure. I mean, there are times, you know, the emotional roller coaster is happening, you're on it, and then you get whiplashed, you know, and you get the breath knocked out of you. And so there were times when I literally just couldn't process that. And then there were times when I was really struggling, or Abram, we were really needing prayer for this certain thing, and I text and connect with you guys. Um, but even I remember quite a few times I would get texts from our prayer team and the people in the prayer room saying, We prayed for Abram on the mic in the prayer room tonight. And then some people texted me, you know, got prophetic words for him, and that just lifted this mama's heart. Uh, so having the prayer room behind us was everything.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Well, the day comes when you finally get to take Abram home. But that began its own whirlwind very quickly and for a long time. So take us through that road of coming home, the feeding tube, the equipment, what was that like?

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Yeah, so the feeding tube, we still have it.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

He's two years old now.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Yep. And at the time, you know, we were believing he would get off of it, but our timeline is not his timeline. And so so it may be permanent, but still we don't know. Um learning other medical equipment, um, just coming home and settling as a family, and then quickly the doctor appointments started piling up. We have to go see specialists established with a long list of specialists that we see regularly. Some are in town that we live in, some are a couple hours away, and then began, you know, connecting with therapists who come into our home. They still come weekly. Um, physical therapist, OT, that's occupational therapist, speech therapist, all the things. And on top of all the medical, I mean the emotional, he like I did mention before, he was aware. He did wake up. It's not like he was just sleeping all the time. But Abram he would cry, he had emotions, but he didn't have facial expressions, and so that was a big thing that my mama's heart was grieving. You know, none of this is normal, none of this is the normal journey, even my pregnancy, far from normal. And so quickly the comparison starts to set in, you know, being on social media. We have at the time when I was pregnant for Abraham, there were so many other people in our world that were pregnant. There's a lot that are the same age as him, and just seeing that on social media and seeing the milestones that some we have not even hit to this day, you know, when a three or six month old should. So that began to start. I had to guard my heart quite a lot. I had to learn that quickly. Um, and just there were so many medical things we had to learn, emotional things we had to navigate, but at the same time, we were falling in love with him. And then actually, just a couple months in at home, he finally smiled for the first time. And if you have ever met him or seen him, he is the most smiliest, bubblyest little boy. And so that was one of the best days of my life, seeing him smile for the first time. And about six months into his life, it was his whole life up to this point. But at the six-month mark was where it really heightened. He was experiencing regular chronic vomiting, and we didn't know it, but we, as in Hayden, I and Abram, all three of us, were in fire to flight. We had no idea. When you're in that, you don't realize, I don't think, because you are literally fighting. We were fighting for his life, he was fighting for his life, and it's one of those things where if you don't see it or experience it, you really don't know the depth or the gravity of it. Our family and friends have seen it all. He does not struggle with reflux, it is vomiting. This is not just a regular baby puke, this is full-blown vomiting, and that was our life. We lived and breathed, cleaning it up. We lived and breathed, helping him through it. At this point, we also got a suction machine so we can help him with his airway through it all. And in his first year, we hardly left the house with him because he would have these episodes, and that was debilitating for all of us. I can imagine his little body. But that was one of the hardest hurdles we had in his first year. We still have it, he still has it, but it's not as chronic. He still has his episode sometimes, but now we get to enjoy life and bring him out more. But that first year, those were the moments, and it was in that time, in the depths of that, hardly any sleep because of it, having to mop, having to clean clothes, having to clean the car seat, the car for the tenth time that day. It's hopeless, and I was in despair, and I remember it must have been a rough day. And I got in the car and was going somewhere, and I just started pouring my heart out to the Lord in the most raw and honest way. And I remember putting on my voice recorder because I started praying, just talking to him, being real, and I just felt the Holy Spirit come over me and he started to speak through me. And he said, I was not moved about Abram's diagnosis, I was not shocked, I am not overwhelmed. I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is still on the throne, and that changed my perspective. I was shaken, I was moved, I was overwhelmed beyond belief. I was shocked in all the emotions, and yet he is not, and that is an anchor to the soul. He is the faithful one, he's steadfast when we are not and when situations are not. And I remember him just saying, I am the same, the same one in seasons past where you've experienced intimacy with, you've experienced seasons with, I'm still here, I'm not moved, I'm in it with you. Like I'm in it for the long haul. And that steadied and angered my heart, and just thankful that he is the keeper of my heart, he's the keeper of my faith, of my flame of love towards him. It is not me, it's all him.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

So, what impact did that have on you and Hayden's marriage?

SPEAKER_01 31:04

I mean, it comes with its challenges and the emotional toll and the physical, you know, exhaustion and being overwhelmed. But with in the fire to flight, we learn we have to make it for our boy. We have to pull up our boots and we're gonna fight for our boy. And so we honestly it's drawn us closer because we have to become a team to get through this.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Yeah, we watched y'all become a team because of course a mom is very hands-on, and some dads do that, some dads don't do it as much. But we watched Hayden just equally, as much as you were jumping in, knew how to do everything with all the equipment and just handling him and doing all the stuff. It was never he was handing it off to you, he did just as much, or y'all would be a team, like when he would start vomiting.