Ep. 21, Spiritual Formation Within Community

What and who we surround ourselves with matters. This episode we discuss our spiritual formation within our prayer room.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey guys, welcome to the Lafayette Prayer Room Podcast. We are located in Lafayette, Louisiana. Today we're diving into something that's close to the heart of every prayer room. It's how a prayer room helps shape our spiritual formation. The culture that is created within that community absolutely shapes who we become spiritually. So, what do you think of initially when you hear of a culture shaping spiritual formation or a prayer room shaping that spiritual formation?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I think we have to start with what people imagine when they imagine the prayer room. Like they imagine all the things that we go and do. We go and worship, we go and pray, um, Bible study, whatever those activities are, which is true. But what goes unnoticed and you can't measure it is the change that takes place on the inside. And so the, you know, your theology shifts. The way you live out the word shifts because of the time you've spent doing those activities, the prayer, the worship, the Bible study. But then you as a person on the inside start to change.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yeah, I love this topic for a prayer room because it's never just a room. It's more than just music, it's more than prayer sets, it's more than classes. When we gather, something else happens. We gather to pray, and over time we're being formed into something different. Desires change, our attention, what we set our attention on changes, endurance changes, our humility changes, our love for God changes. Like those are all some of those things that are being undone and reformed in us in the way that God wants them.

unknown 1:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Our our prayer room community, and um, any prayer room community, but a community of people that want to pray, it's just a it's an environment that's fertile. It it spurs on the change. It kind of reminds me of like Queen Esther, how she had to go through all of these, um, you know, a year long of all of these different regimens, I'll say, you know, to become ready to be the bride. I almost see it that way. Like it's it's spending time in the word. It's starting to take on the smell of Jesus, becoming the bride, like being transformed in a way that we're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

It's definitely a place where um we don't just go to visit God occasionally, but it's a place where we learn to dwell with Him. So that's a little bit different than other spiritual communities. Um, a church, a small group, a Bible study, which all do serve a purpose in spiritual formation for us in talking about how the prayer room community shapes it, the many days, the long hours just looks different. And that is part of how our spiritual formation happens. And one part of the prayer room is what happens between us and God, and then the other part is what happens with us and those who do it with us. Like we start to to love them and grow with them. It's all the things that are more than just the room and what happens in the room.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So we're using the phrase spiritual formation, but what what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 3:13

For me, it is spiritual growth, um, but it's more than just information and more than just time in. Things are being formed in me the way God wants them to be formed. So there's a change in the formation of my spirit on the inside, my heart, my affections, the tensions, things we just mentioned. So they looked one way when we start and they are transforming until we go into eternity. That formation is continual. We never get to a point where we're like, okay, now I'm in the spiritual formation I want to be in. I'm the maturity level I want to be in. It is something that is it is the marathon race that we're running until we meet him. So having a place that is a fertile seedbed for that, a place where I can really grow that fuels where I want to go in him becomes really important because that's a goal. I want that spiritual formation.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Yeah, when you look at the of if you have a vision for your life, which we've talked about quite a bit, but if you have a vision for your life, then what I teach even like my kids or my students is you look at that end goal and then you work backwards to see what is it gonna take to achieve that end goal. So if our end goal is to be a Mary of Bethany sitting at the feet of Jesus long hours, whatever it is, then I back up and I say, well, what's gonna help me get to that goal? Well, the prayer room is such an easy place to help get me to that goal. It affords me long hours with him without distractions, without interruptions, but it also puts people that have like minds in that room, and that spurs me on when I'm starting to feel a little bit like, oh, I don't know, you know, just kind of wanting to coast a little, somebody will say something and it'll be like fuel, like, oh yes, I I want that, I desire that, and we spur one another on running this race, like we keep each other going.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

If someone around me is really hungry for God, I start to be more hungry for God. It doesn't do everything for me, but it helps. Who I'm around helps, or it can work in the opposite way, it can really be a hindrance for where I want to go and influence in negative ways. It's why we tell our kids like it matters who you hang around. And there's times when we're parenting, like, no, you can't go with this friend or that friend. It's because we're guarding them, we're we're parenting them. And it's the same way as an adult. Who I'm around is going to influence me, whether I want them to or not. Uh, now we can guard our hearts. That doesn't mean I just follow headlong into whatever someone else is doing. I want to be around people who hunger after God. If someone values prayer, after a while, I'll start to pick up that value. If people are kind and they listen well, like when you're around that, you start to do that. So we want to create an atmosphere that does help people do that. And I knew coming into a prayer room, there would be personal spiritual growth for sure. Um, what I didn't factor in at first was just how much the relational dynamics play into the spiritual growth. Like you said, if that's the goal, if if being a mature lover of Jesus, a Mary of Bethany, a lifestyle of abiding, then I want everything that's going to help me get there. And once we started to do it, realizing that, oh man, running buddies really propels me forward, more than just like encourages me. It really prods me forward. It does.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I agree. I even think about some of our older generation of ladies, and they've walked through. Well, anybody who's lived a long time has walked through hard things, but they've stayed faithful to their calling to Jesus. They've come out not bitter or offended with the life and life circumstances, and seeing that has been just an example to me that it can be done. And like when I'm walking through something hard, I think, well, they did it. They persevered. Like, I don't know. It it just helps on the race because you see someone who's lived it out and done it, and it it spurs me. I'm like, they are um they are people I would I would like to be like.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I see the older generation in our program, those in their 70s, their 80s, and they're in a stage of life where most of their friends have uh just settled in at home and are not really out pursuing things and trying new things, and they're kind of not just retired from work, but retired from most commitments. And I just see our ladies that are going hard. There are some of them that have the most hours in the prayer room. Like I really admire it, and it does give me an example of running hard till the end, not backing off at a certain point. Now, of course, if you have health issues or something else, that's different. But if you don't, the option is always there. And growing in a community, we don't all arrive with the same strengths, experiences, our maturity levels. We grow together and we share life together. So we all just show up as we show up, but also try to help each other not remain there because we all are trying to grow into something else. So that's part of community too.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Yeah, I love that we have different age groups and that no one thinks that they are the ones that know everything. Like the older can learn from the younger, the younger learn from the older. Um, I think that's a beautiful, beautiful part of our group.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

And it it does require vulnerability. We've talked about that as well in other podcasts. Uh but once we figure out we don't have to pretend to have it all together, then um defenses go down, the guard goes down, our hearts are more open to God and to each other. So that's part of growing as a community too. You realize I can trust the people who are here, I can be me, I can struggle, I can come in with my problems, they're gonna love me, allow me the space to be with God and be there for me if I need them to be.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah, and their voice of godly counsel. Like you want to be careful who you listen to when you're going through something that's difficult, but I can trust the voice of the people that we've sit sat with for so long because I trust their history with God, that it's godly counsel. And I I appreciate that because I've used it many times.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Just sitting and having discussions with each other many times. We'll be talking, and and one of us will be saying, like, this is just kind of what I'm dealing with right now, and somebody else will come in with an idea I never thought of, or a perspective that was completely different from where my headspace was. It has been huge, or one of our older ladies who's like, Oh, I struggled with that at one point in my life. Like, that's so huge to shaping my spiritual formation and how I'm dealing with things. And growing spiritually with others, we need peers to run with, we need mentors, those who have run ahead. It helps build consistency and it also helps build stability when we are not just by ourselves, we are actually relating to real people in our world and in our lives.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yes, because I don't know when I have wrong ways of thinking. If I'm the only one, if I'm in my own head, I'm the only person, you know, thinking about it. It just seems right. And then someone else will give me a perspective like, oh no, I've been thinking about that the wrong way, or you know, whatever. It they they help tremendously. Real friends, it really is the iron sharpening iron.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Because real friends sometimes tell us the not easy stuff to hear. Um, because there's many times I just want to affirm someone when they're coming to me with a problem. It's easy just to affirm and encourage, which we do that as well. But then there's times I love them enough to be honest with where I think there's a blind spot. You know, you may hey you may want to think of this, or um, have you looked at it this way? And I want friends who love me enough to be honest with me. Like when they see something I'm not seeing, love me enough to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

And the the awesome thing is that I can trust your heart or you know, the other ladies' hearts because we are friends. So they come with something that's like a correction, it's easier to take because they're for me. Like they're not out to get me or being critical for critical sake, you know, like they love me and I feel that. So it's easy to have that kind of relationship.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

And they love me, they love my family, they care about my marriage, like everything about our world that we have been sharing with each other for years. You know, we are invested in each other's kids, like we are invested in outcomes in a number of areas in life. So I don't doubt their sincerity. I don't doubt that what they're telling me is what they think is the best, or the Lord is even telling them in the moment for me that I didn't hear. Now, the reality of the prayer room is that we have conflict as well with relationships, real relationships. There's gonna be conflict, that's part of it. And even in a community where we are pursuing God and keeping the word at the center and worship uh throughout, there's still the reality of we're people in not even if it's just two people, there's gonna be points of conflict. There's gonna be if everyone's being honest, there's gonna be points where we disagree, where we think something should be done differently. We thought something should have unfolded and are handled in a different way. So, yes, even in a sincere environment, we have conflict.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Yeah, I mean, we all come into the prerogue with different pasts, different experiences. So our biases are gonna be different. When I say something, I can mean it one way and it can be heard in a completely different way because of that person's life experience. Um, so we have to learn how to handle each other with care and be okay with saying, you know what, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. And then accepting an apology, not holding on to it, just having healthy conflict resolution styles uh within our group.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Yeah, and we want to give opportunity space for if I'm offended to be able to come and say, hey, this thing you did really bothered me. Uh, and give that person, you know, I I remember this was a long time ago, someone had gotten offended with someone else they were close to in the prayer room. And I said, Do you think they know they offended you? And they said, No, um, or I don't know. And I said, Well, at least tell them so that they have the opportunity to apologize and to make it right. Because sometimes we hold on and they're like, they know, or it's obvious. And like you said, when I say a certain thing, it means one thing to me and it means something completely different to you. And and I think that's what we do a lot of times. It's not a big deal. Like I'm not really offended about it, I'm bothered. But if it's someone I'm close to, I don't want the little bitty rub to sit between us. It takes vulnerability, but if you trust somebody and you want the long-term growth of that relationship, like the long-term relationship matters to me, that there's peace between us for a long time, then I want my friends to come to me when I've done something I haven't realized I've done so that I can make that right. Like that is part of um growing past conflict. And it for us, it's how we want to handle conflict. And sometimes we hit a point of agree to disagree, which is okay too, because we value the relationship more than whatever that point of contention is, then we can truly release it. Because it's one thing to say you forgive, but it's another thing to really release it and be open-hearted with that person again. And that's the goal to not just do a surface band-aid, but to truly have healing. And even if it's a point where we disagree on this point, I love you enough and value the relationship enough to release it and let it be what it is.

unknown 15:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

And also I think part of maturity is, I mean, of course, you want to talk to the person, but sometimes I know it's a me issue. Like I know I I struggle with, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is, and I'm I'm gonna go to the Lord. Like this should not hurt my feelings. It did, but I know it shouldn't. I'm not bringing that to, I'm not putting that on every person because a lot of times it is a me. It's a it's my past shaping how things affect me. And so the Lord and I can work that out because I know it's not that person, it's me. So like there's both sides of that, and maturity is trying to figure out no, if I can't get over it with the Lord, then maybe I'll go to that person. But a lot of times it's a me and God thing because it's me. It really is a me issue.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

You're right. First, I'm gonna talk to the Lord because most of the time, if I nip it in the bud with the Lord, then it doesn't build into something else. Most of the time, that's the deal. But I love a community that I can come and I know me coming and being honest with you is not gonna send you running an offense either. Like I trust the relationship is strong enough to handle an honest, difficult conversation. Also, because of what we are, we are a pro-room. Unity is critical to what we do. So conflict resolution has to be a priority as well because it's great to throw a bunch of people in a room and pray for something, but there is power when there is one heart and one mind, there is true unity, people who are connected relationally as well as spiritually, there is authority on that, there is a commanded blessing, there is an anointing on that, there is power on it. So unity is a high priority for us. So that's another reason. Like we'd all sweep things under the rug. That does not serve our goal in being effective in prayer. And if someone comes to me and says, I'm struggling with this with this person, but should I tell them or should I not? Or first, do I think it's a them problem? I'm gonna be honest. I'll always put it in the framework of would you want someone to come to you? And the answer is always, yes, yes, I would want to be able to make it right. I don't want my friend to be over there and hurt by something I did. I would want to know.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

It's kind of like I see it if we're all line by line holding up our shields, you know, where there's that's the unity that protects us, but those little gaps in it, you know, oh, I'm offended on this, and it creates little gaps in that shield that we've that we're pushing forward in this spirit. So, you know, we don't want to have that. Another value in our prayer room is diversity. So within our prayer room, we're gonna have different ages, cultures, even backgrounds. I come from a single mom. We have parents that were together, parents that weren't. Um, all of these different experiences in the past coming together, different ages. So just within the different generations, how people view things are gonna be different between a Gen X and a millennial, a Gen Z, we're gonna see things differently, but all together show a better picture of who God is, the heart of God, like it takes all of us together. And so it's a it's a beautiful part of the prayer room.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah, and even because our culture today, the media culture is so divided with these rigid lines of tribalism. Um, having diversity within our program has helped us see different points of view from different cultures, from different age groups, from different backgrounds that I come in and I only know my experience. But having other people with different experiences helps me see so much more. I've really appreciated the different backgrounds in navigating such a tumultuous culture right now, where everybody's offended by the other, and either you're this or that, you have to be one or the other. Um, the the community of diversity has really helped navigate those waters. And also just we're all so different, even like in worship, like one person worships very quietly, another person is very passionate. Everything that we do different is a different expression of God. Like he made and wired each one of us the way that we are to express ourselves to him and to others a certain way. It's it's a facet of him coming out, and we don't want people to come in and conform to something. We want them to come in and be who Jesus made them to be and to pray the way that they pray, to worship the way that they worship, to study and discuss the way that they do. Like I love that we don't all sound the same. That someone comes in and it's completely just new thoughts to me. And it doesn't mean because it's so profound, it just means it's a different way of thinking that than me. I need help.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Yeah, because we're not trying to make disciples of ourselves, like we're not trying to carve and copy the way Janie does things, the way Trista does things. You can come in and be you authentically before the Lord, and then we all get to learn. I'm thinking about Crystal. Um, y'all met her on the mom's group, and she comes in with color and she's very prophetic, and she'll be like, I need to wear green today because of this, or we're wearing purple. Or remember one time we got to pray and all of us just happened to be in green shirts. And Crystal wasn't there that day, but I remember thinking, I wish Crystal was here because I bet she had a dream last night. Crystal, why are we all in green or whatever? Just I love the different personalities within the group because it adds uniqueness to the group and authenticity.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Yeah, it adds dimension and depth uh to have many different expressions and ways of thinking and interacting. And like you're saying with Crystal, she dreams. A ton. She has a journal of so many dreams. I dream very little. I mean, they say everybody dreams. I do not remember my dreams. So having someone in our midst that gets dreams constantly, great, because the Lord is speaking through them in a way that He is not speaking to me. So I value that.

unknown 22:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

And I have found that spiritual formation happens slowly over time. Real formation that is stable, that sticks, roots that go down deep, learning to be dependent on Him instead of self-reliant, learning to value God's presence over productivity. We talked about that. In 2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul said, we are being transformed into his image from glory to glory by the Spirit. Community helps with that. It helps with consistency. Seeing others faithfully pursuing God encourages me to do the same thing. And formation happens when we show up and we stay consistent. And watching you guys, anyone else from my perspective, walking through stuff, having a busy schedule, having challenges, but still showing up encourages me not to drop off when I am in a difficult season. But showing up in the prayer room greatly feeds me in the midst of a difficult season. We did a whole episode on the strength of the prayer room in horror times, and it's true.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah. And that makes me think like when you're building a house, like the longest, slowest part is the foundation. But without it, your house can't stand. And so the spiritual formation is slow because it's the foundation. It is the roots going down deep. Like if a plant just springs up, it's probably because there's not deep roots, and it's not gonna be a long-standing plant. You know, oak trees take a long time, they're gonna have deep roots that go down. That's gonna grow first. And so I think it's hard because you can't measure it. You know, we can't go and say, oh, well, look at all the spiritual formation that has happened, or the change in me, or the foundation. You can't measure it, you can't um quantify it. It's it's unseen, but it's the most valuable thing, and it is there, it is slow, which is why you go and you stay consistent, and God's okay with the slow. Like that's the process He created. So I don't have to change quickly, you know, and I don't have to try to be stressed that maybe I'm not changing as much as I want or whatever. Like I'm still struggling with this or that. Like God's okay with the long game, the long process.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Yeah, there's growth and consistency, and it's a lot of small moments because we want the dramatic moment that then I'm different. And we have some that are more powerful than others, but more growth comes from the little bitty increments of just showing up, being faithful that day, loving him with whatever weakness I have. There is a deposit that is made, there is a transference of affection and dependence and that little bit of growth. Like you said, it you can't detect it. So you don't realize over time, all that slow just show up, just keep showing up. Didn't feel what I felt last time, but wasn't dramatic today. But that doesn't mean there's not growth. We cannot gauge it by our feelings because sometimes the Lord does touch us in a way that really touches our emotions and that really overpowers um our senses. But then there's many times where we don't feel hardly anything, but they are both growth. It's just we felt one one day and we didn't feel one the other. So one sign of spiritual formation. Um, if I'm hungrier for God, if I am desiring more of Him, more of His presence, I want to be in the Word more. Like that's a sign that spiritual formation is happening.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Yeah, humility, you know, um, not always having to have your own way or look impressive or whatever. That's signs too, you know, that something is changing because it's not natural for anyone.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Also, I'd say perseverance is a sign of growth as well. Um when we're determined to seek the Lord, and then we follow through. And follow through doesn't have to mean strong. Like it can look really weak, it can look like going through the motions, but when I get there, my heart does start to flow. It doesn't mean it's a powerful moment every time, but I can feel that my heart is flowing, like meaning I sit in that room, I open the word, or I'm singing a worship song, and I feel my heart in agreement, I feel affection coming up. Uh and sometimes it does go into a powerful moment, other times it's just a little trickle, but feeling my heart starting to flow means that there has been spiritual formation, that that is growth, and that's progressive forever. I always want hunger to grow, I always want humility to grow, I always want to persevere. Uh, so those are things that it's not like check, you know, it's it's all through this life.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah. The gift of tears, I I feel like that's one too, you know, just because it shows a soft heart before the Lord. And I don't mean conjuring up emotion because I can think about something sad and make myself cry. I mean, I can conjure up emotion, but just like weeping over the word or feeling him touch me, that that also to me is a sign that something's shifting.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Agreed. And then evidence of transformation also plays out outside of the program, like it trickles into our relationships, it trickles into our decisions that we make, into our speech, how we're talking, uh, in every area of life. And it doesn't mean suddenly I'm perfect, but I just notice I'm a little bit different. I'm a little bit different in my interactions, I'm a little bit different in my approach. Um, certain things that used to just irritate me may still irritate me, but I don't react the same way. It starts really, really small, but it does trickle out. Like normally I would always do this, but now my choices are a little bit different. That to me is also evidence of spiritual formation.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

So real spiritual formation, it doesn't happen by accident. Like there's intentionality to it, and for us, being part of a prayer room in that culture has tremendously helped put us on the path to spiritual formation because I'm under no illusion that I have been completely transformed into the image of Christ far from it, but it's it's intentionality, showing up, being consistent when you feel like it, when you don't feel like it, um, just continuing to show up before the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Yeah, every every week we show up matters. Every prayer set matters, every prayer matters, every conversation. Uh little by little, he's transforming us into people who love his presence, who love his word, and who are falling in love with his heart. So we have an episode coming up, and we want to answer you guys questions or talk about topics that you'd like to hear more about, or maybe people have asked you questions about certain things. So we'd love to hear what you guys want us to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Yeah, so that wraps up today's episode. We just want to say thank you for choosing to spend your time with us, and until next time, bye.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Bye.