The Day Chrissie Bellbrae Put Her Health First

What happens when life blindsides you just as you think you’ve got it all steady?

Chrissie Bellbrae’s life has been defined by resilience. From family upheavals and raising four children to overseas travels in her fifties, she’s repeatedly faced challenges head-on. But the day she was diagnosed with breast cancer stopped everything in its tracks.

In this episode, Chrissie recounts that moment and the days that followed: the fear, the compartmentalisation, and the determination to take control of her story. She shares the support that carried her, the unexpected things she discovered about herself, and how she began reshaping her life in ways she never imagined.

From stepping out of her comfort zone to trusting her instincts and leaning into nature, Chrissie’s story is one of courage, community, and quiet transformation.

This is a story about finding strength, clarity, and even joy in the middle of crisis.

For more information, visit: https://www.chrissiebellbrae.com

This episode is sponsored by Amoena Australia.

Australian website: https://www.amoena.com/au/

Amoena is the global market leader in breast care products for women who have undergone breast surgery including mastectomies, lumpectomies, reconstructions or other aesthetic procedures. They offer a holistic product portfolio including breast forms & shapers, pocketed lingerie & swimwear, post-surgical recovery care plus comfort & compression bras for lymphoedema. Founded in Germany more than 50 years ago, they are available in more than 80 countries, including Australia.

Social channels: 

https://www.facebook.com/AmoenaAustralia

https://www.instagram.com/amoena_australia/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/amoena-australia

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:02

Life can change in a day. A betrayal, a diagnosis, a devastation, a breakdown.

Speaker 0:09

This is that day, the podcast where women tell real stories of the moment life changed, the chaos that followed, and the strength they found along the way. No subject is off limits. I'm Jack, a former coronator and empowerment coach. And I'm Kylie, once an HR manager, now a published author. Together, we help women tell the stories that matter. By the end of each episode, you'll feel it, you'll learn from it, and carry it with you. Welcome to that day. This podcast contains conversations about difficult life experiences. Some episodes may include coarse language and themes such as illness, suicide, infertility, or childhood trauma. Please take care while listening and prioritize your well-being. Help lines are listed in the show notes. Today's guest is Chrissy Belbray. On her 63rd birthday, she released her debut novel, A Story About Women Taking Control of Their Lives, a theme Chrissy knows well. Years of family challenges, cancer diagnoses, and navigating loss shaped the way she approaches life and writing. Her battle with breast cancer became the inspiration for her upcoming third novel, and along the way, she's learned to be bolder, more selective with her energy, and fiercely protective of her joy. Chrissy draws strength from the ocean, her family, and the writing communities she's part of. And today she shares the moments that reshaped her. Welcome, Chrissy. Thanks, Kylie and Jackie. Welcome. Thank you. So set the scene for us. Tell us, you actually have quite a few that days. It's hard to uh narrow them down. But if you could just set the scene for your early life with your partner Con, is it? It is. Yeah.

Speaker 3 1:50

So Con and I have been together a very long time. Um, in fact, it's our anniversary this week. Oh, happy anniversary. 43 years. 43 years. Amazing. Congrats. But it all started um with him, really. Um we were together quite young and he was diagnosed with lyomy sarcoma. It was a a cancer in the muscle of his arm. Wow. At what age? He was 19. He'd just turned 19. 19. So we were going out at that stage, and after that, we just sort of decided that we were going to be together, whatever happened. So that was really the sort of the very first time, I suppose, I moved into making a decision without actually thinking about it. And I think that's what's happened with my that days. A lot of it has just been this sort of sitting in your calm and just moving forward, you know, just being positive and just going, well, this is what we have to do.

Speaker 2:46

Well, you were throwing a curveball so early.

Speaker 3 2:48

Absolutely. Yeah. So you got married? So we got married and we were told we couldn't have children. We have four. Oh wow. So that was um that was amazing. We could, you know, because in those days they weren't sure what the chemo treatment would do, you know, whether or not, you know, we'd be able to actually have children. So that was amazing that we we ended up with four children. The first one was a big surprise. Yeah, no, big family, uh, which was what we both wanted. That was great. And then things were going along pretty well, and then we had uh a terrible investment, or we made a terrible investment decision basically in the late 80s, early 90s, when the market was sort of dropping and um and we were sort of um involved in something that was also a bit of a family drama. Right. Um which made you know caused a division in the family, which was quite difficult. Um so you invested in real estate with um with family members. So yes, never a great idea. So it was a little bit messy and uh we we were burnt. So we ended up sort of losing everything. And in fact, I sat there on the the eve of bringing home um our third child, and our house had been auctioned that day and it was handed to the bank basically. So that was pretty tough. How old were you then? Uh twenty nine. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So you got a new baby and two kids? Brand new baby, two, yep, two kids. And where did you go? Well, we we had to rent. My husband, um, Con was actually working. Well, he he'd had trouble with work. Um, he had to start again his own business. He was his I mean, he ran his own business for a long time. Uh, but he had to actually start with um, you know, start out. It was really hard. We borrowed five thousand dollars from someone, I can't remember who it was, to buy a car so that he could actually work. And you've got three kids and we have three kids. One of them was a baby. And but at the time, I I didn't I didn't feel stressed. And I used to say that my my number three child was my calm. So the whole time I was pregnant, we were going through quite a stressful period. But I I felt quite calm through the whole thing. It was like, no, no, the most important thing is that this baby's okay and my family's well. And you know, that would it was just that sort of that was that was my stabilizer.

Speaker 2 5:06

Just out of interest, did that baby continue to have that kind of personality? She's a pretty crazy person, yeah. She is definitely so despite the turmoil, yeah, she was able to be born into a stable, happy, loving family.

Speaker 3 5:20

Yeah, and she was your gift. She was my gift. She she would love hearing this. She will absolutely love this. You better say something nice about the other three as well. I know, I'm I'm just trying to think now how can I do that? But no, no, I love them all. Um, and then we did obviously, well, she didn't put us off. We went on and had a fourth child after that. And really, by the time we we had him, it was just, you know, we're gonna we're just gonna live our life. So you restarted basically. We restarted, yeah. 30-year-olds all headed into 30s, yeah. Yep, definitely. So we restarted, and you know, I was I was really a stay-at-home mum. So I did lots of part-time work doing, you know, whatever I could do that fitted in. You know, when your husband's running his own business and he was on 24-hour call, it was pretty hard to find a job that I could actually maintain and look after family. Yeah, for sure. So hats off to everybody who does that because I just that was something I couldn't manage. I looked at going back and studying and doing lots of things, but I think I had several attempts and just never really, it never got off the ground.

Speaker 4 6:19

Yeah.

Speaker 3 6:19

But I did lots of just a little two-day shift here or uh, you know, night time selling party plan clothes, you know, selling kids' clothes that was clothing my my kids back.

Speaker 2 6:29

So that was great. Perfect. What impact did it have on your marriage, this financial stress and young children? Early cancer diagnosis. Early cancer diagnosis.

Speaker 3 6:40

Yeah. Um the fact that you're together 43 years. Yeah, no, I don't know. We just sort of stuck. Like, I think we just we're really good friends. You know, he's my best friend. Oh, beautiful. And you know, I mean, I couldn't imagine life without him. And we just kept going. And look, there were rocky periods. I'm not saying it was all all, you know, yeah, naturally fantastic. Like there were times that were really hard, and he was probably more stressed about it. I had to be the calm one. So, you know, I I think that was that was it. I had to be the sort of the more grounded, and I, you know, I was going through emotional turmoil too. Yeah, the yin and yang. You had to kind of just find that nice balance. That nice balance, yeah, absolutely. So, how did you do it? I think I just was so busy too, and that was, you know, like it was my role was to make sure that the kids were okay and that the house was running and that food was on the table and there was no time to think about me. There wasn't time to think about me. And I and I did that for a long time, a very long time, until I finally got to do what I wanted to do.

Speaker 2 7:41

So many women can relate to that. Like they get to later in life and think, My God, I don't know who I am or what I am anymore because I've been doing everything for the family, for my husband. So a lot of people can relate to this. Your identity is belonging to everybody else in a way.

Speaker 3 7:59

Just a little piece of you had to be sort of shared amongst the rest of everybody else, and and there was none of it left for you. So I I was supposed to be the generation who was um able to have the job and do it all do it all. And and so and I wasn't doing that, and I felt very much like I was part of the previous generation that I was this stay-at-home mum, but I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum. I wanted to bring up the children, and I thought that was really important um for me and for us.

Speaker 8:25

Um and surely if an early cancer diagnosis teaches you anything, it's the you have to live in the moment. So perhaps you wanted that time with your children when they were.

Speaker 3 8:35

I did. I I definitely wanted to be there for them and take them to their sport and do, you know, be be there and and watch them and canteen duty and all the other stuff. Uh pick them up at the school gate. I mean, I did all of that. Yeah. Do they remember?

Speaker 8:48

They do, they actually do. So it's my kids, honestly. I was talking to them about kind the other day and how often I did kinda duty, which, you know, is almost obligatory but not very fun. Like it's voluntary, but it's not voluntary. And my kids don't even remember kinda. They don't remember. I just have a theory that childhood is a feeling, it's a general feeling, and then there's certain memories that pop out. That's what I have to tell myself.

Speaker 3 9:28

Well, that's true. Because if you think back to what you can remember, what's your first memory? And and you go back and you think, what can I remember? Yeah, you know, happening. And I suppose it doesn't make sense. I mean, my kids all they all complain that um they don't remember me cooking. Oh what? And Will he's a daily cook? Well, I was for a very long time. But I have to say, Con has actually taken over the cooking. And that was when he decided he really wanted to cook because he loved it. I was so paying.

Speaker 9:55

Yes. My husband cooks, but we won't go there, will we, Jack?

Speaker 3 9:57

No, oh my god, the glory theme. Oh, I've got some baggage. It's about that. Well, I'm very grateful that he does the cooking and he does all the entertaining and that, but that's really his his thing. Right. Um, and as as one of my kids said, food is his love language. So I mean that's brilliant, you know, that's the way it is. So but I don't remember that I ever cooked. Yeah, I can still remember, you know, putting food on the table and someone's saying, I don't like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:21

Isn't that the greatest thing you can hear when you've just uh toiled in the kitchen for two hours and then you sit down and what's this?

Speaker 3 10:28

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 10:29

I don't like that one. Really? It's not good. No. So you've had a series of by now you're in your 30s, you've gone through this difficult financial period. What else is happening and how do we get into the next day?

Speaker 3 10:42

In my 40s, I suppose I was starting to think about what I wanted to do for myself and that the kids were getting older and you know there was going to come a time when they weren't gonna be around and I wasn't gonna be needed. So what did I really want to do? And that took me at least ten years, I think, to work out what I wanted to do. And then we had never travelled and we had always wanted to do that. And finally um I was working in a school and I was, you know, I was really loving the job, and um the kids were all well and truly, like some of them had finished school by this stage. Um, I think only two of them were left. Uh, and we ended up booking this big trip for three weeks. And right before we left, Con was diagnosed with prostate cancer. No. So then it became oh, are we not gonna what are we gonna do? How are we gonna do this? And the doctor was amazing. He just said, look, go and have your holiday, come back, we'll book you straight in after that, which was pretty much three days later. Wow. So that was the next one. And where did you go? Sorry, Europe? We went to Europe. We'd always wanted to go to Italy. So we went to Italy, um, we went to Greece. Oh, and we went to Cyprus, which is where my husband's family were. So he wanted to see his cousins, and that was a lovely trip. So really nice family trip. Um, and then we came back and we dealt with that and got through got through that one. Second cancer of it. Yeah, second cancer for him, and we were and I just kept saying, Oh, well, we're done. You know, that's it. We're not having cancer anymore in this family. That's that's we have had actually.

Speaker 12:13

Yeah, no, is it we're done. Any way related to the first cancer?

Speaker 3 12:16

No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah, totally random, as far as we know. Yeah, so that went on um and he came through that, and that was great. And then we were sort of moving into um at that stage I'd started thinking about the fact that I really wanted to write.

Speaker 4 12:32

Okay.

Speaker 3 12:33

And I'd been trying to find time, yes, as you do, trying to squirrel in time here and there and and not really getting very far. Yep. Doing a couple of courses, having a go for a couple of months, putting it, shelving it for another six months, and that went on for quite a bit. How old were your kids by the stage? Were they out? By that stage, yeah. So uh all of them had finished school and we had decided to move down the beach. Yep. So we did. And did you buy a deliberately smaller house? Well, just because there might not be any room. No, we didn't because the children were all in Melbourne. So we we left them. So we we actually made up a t-shirt for all of them saying bye, see you later. We're off.

Speaker 2 13:15

Love that. When can I do that? Yeah. We're just approaching that at the end of this year with my son finishing school, and we're like, what do we do next?

Speaker 3 13:23

Yeah, and it is look, it's a great, it's a great stage. So that was, you know, that was really lovely. And moving down here and sort of settling into a new community and getting involved and doing things. And that's when I started to really seriously write. So it was sort of me time. Finally, I had the me time, which was great. And then, of course, we got to COVID. And I was still thinking it was me time because that gave me plenty of time to focus on what I wanted to do. Too much. Yeah, a little bit too much, more than I anticipated. But you had a little bit more freedom down here than the other. Yeah, the restrictions were stricter in Melbourne. But the problem was for us that our children were all in Melbourne, and by that stage we had grandchildren too, and we couldn't help, we couldn't help out. So that isolation was really difficult. And because of that, we also had difficulties within the family over decisions made that we all had to make to do with COVID vaccines. Um, and we were there was a lot of a lot of stuff going on between my children, which was really hard. Having different opinions. Having different opinions. Um, you know, look, we're all different, and as I as I said to them from a very young age, one day you'll have a partner and they will be from a different background to what you've been, and everybody brings their own stuff into a a partnership. Yep. And you just have to navigate. You have to work it out. You've got to work out the happy medium in between what his family does, what her family does. So um, and that's where we started to see things were changing between the children because just their different views. And you know, everyone's entitled to their view. And I had always encouraged um the kids to stand up for what they believed in. Yep. So they did, and it was a little bit awkward. And even if it wasn't in agreement with everybody else, that's that's a difficult thing as a mother when you're seeing your own. Well, and not to take sides. I've and I've been a fence did, I think, all my life. So I was I was definitely sitting on the fence. But I could see both sides, I could see everybody's point of view, and it was just so frustrating not to be able to bring them together.

Speaker 2 15:27

Yeah, and how we can't see each other's side. It's it's very difficult. And that whole time, and we don't I don't love dwelling on codes, it was absolutely shit, but it did bring out not so good personalities of some people that just made it very heightened time to live through.

Speaker 15:45

So I can't even imagine if your kids are fighting and it was a time that sort of lacked nuance as well, because like my family is very heavily weighted towards medical and science. And you know, I've always vaccinated, I believe in it, but I was still quite scared to vaccinate my two youngest. I was okay with the older two because they were actually out in they were the only two in my house that were permitted to leave the house for their essential work. One worked at Woolies and one worked at Maccas. Yeah, handy. Yeah, but they were getting exposed to everybody out there in the virus when we didn't really understand what it was, and I was completely panicked about them not being protected. And so as soon as the vaccination came out, we were ready to go for those two. But the younger two were like one was in primary school and the other one had just started high school. And I was really worried about okay, how's this ink going to impact their development? And luckily we have medical family members that I could ask, and you know, the answer was we don't know really, but this is what we have directly in front of us, and also the mental health, the collective mental health, I think. Melbourne particularly was impacted. So I know people I I think we got accused of being sheep often when you went and vaccinated, but and just like I tried not to judge the people who didn't vaccinate for their own reasons. I mean, I was quite strong about my feelings about vaccination. But I think they just think that you blindly went off and you didn't do your research and you didn't look into anything. And that's when obviously rifts often happen when people are so stuck in their view and their lens. Is that kind of what happened?

Speaker 3 17:23

Yeah, no, too. It was exactly that. So, you know, you had one saying, We're following science, we know science, this is what's going on. And then you had others saying, Well, no, we're not really comfortable with that because we think there's another way. And, you know, we're not really we don't want to put stuff in our bodies that we we don't understand what it you know what it is. And we're not putting poison in our body. And how do we know that it's gonna work? And if we just keep on doing what we're doing, we'll be okay. Yeah. Um and as it turns out, they were. Yeah. So but how do you know they were vindicated? Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:00

But I'm interested. We're we're four years down the track now, four or five years post-COVID. Have those rifts repaired?

Speaker 3 18:09

Very slowly. It's taken a while, which probably brings me to the next that day. So straight after COVID, we'd only just started connecting again as a family. We had everybody coming together for my my 60th birthday, I think it was. And then somebody had a COVID outbreak, so that was that. And then because of again, because of the distance, you know, they were in Melbourne, we were here. Two of two of the children actually moved to Torquay at that stage.

Speaker 18:37

So just for anyone listening, Torquay is about an hour outside Melbourne CBD, just along the coastline. Beautiful.

Speaker 3 18:45

Yeah, so that was great. They moved closer, which was terrific. And then we had, you know, the extended COVID, uh, the after effects went on for quite a while. We still had an what another summer where we had outbreaks, and anyway, shortly after that, I discovered that I had a leaking nipple. Sorry for anyone who doesn't want to hear that. And I thought, that's not really right. Something's wrong. I really need to have a breast screen. Well, of course, the problem then was because everything had been on hold medically for so long, there was a big backlog of trying to get into appointments and trying to get checks and trying to get blood tests, even because we were still having blood tests to see whether or not you had COVID. Yeah, right. Um So it took a while to actually get to that appointment.

Speaker 2 19:29

Even though you were having a symptom like that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 19:32

Wow.

Speaker 2 19:33

Well When you say a while, like are we talking weeks ago?

Speaker 3 19:36

It was probably six weeks. And you know, all of that time I was like, oh no, I'm fine. You know, we don't have breast cancer in the family. Also, you met your quota. You've done it. And I and I said I wasn't gonna have it. So that we weren't gonna have it anymore. Positive thinking. And of course then the result came through that yes, I did have breast cancer and it was stage three and it needed to be dealt with straight away, obviously. And that sort of threw everyone into a huge kerfuffle, the whole family. I mean, just trying to tell the family was just the hardest thing. Did you bring them all together? I didn't only because they were all over the place. So we did a bit of a um dropping in on people face to face. I didn't want to tell them over the phone, obviously. But um And how did each one respond? Was it very fitting with their personalities or Yeah, probably. I mean, my everyone was shocked because no one I and I suppose I hadn't really I hadn't discussed my symptoms with anyone. I hadn't said there was a problem or or even that I was going for a breast screen. It was all a bit sort of keeping mum about what was going on with me. Um they don't want to worry their kids. So they hold on to these things. That's definitely what mums do. And then telling my mum, well that was that was really hard. I just knew how she'd react as a mother. Yeah, you know, and and it doesn't matter that I'm you know 60 years old, I was still her child, so that was going to be difficult. And of course her thing was, well, why wasn't it me? Instead of you, I'm older. That's the way it's meant to be, isn't it? Was the prognosis good? It was, but I had to have aggressive chemo, and um, yeah, so it was it was pretty confronting. I didn't realise the strength of the chemicals that were going into my body, I have to say. That was something that was a bit of a shock and how I reacted physically. And I I started off, you know, I as as my doctor said, my oncologist was amazing, and she just said, you know, you're strong, you you're you're young. I loved the fact that she said I was young. 60 years, I was so young and um and healthy. And she said, you know, you'll I we can we can do this, you know, we can hit you with the hard stuff. Well and I was like, Oh yeah, just get rid of it. Yeah, I didn't really care. But yeah, the hard stuff was hard. I had chemo first. Okay, um, just uh dependent on the the strain of breast cancer that I had. I didn't know that there were so many different kinds. Sixteen or something. Had no idea there were so many different kinds. And then surgery after that. But the one thing did do was all of the kids ended up in the same room at the same time. Yeah, and that was amazing. And that was well, and I went, well, do you talk about taking one for the team? Yeah. You know, really. A greatest mother's sacrifice ever. Ridiculous. So um and it was a ma it was fantastic to have them all in their own. I mean, it was it was difficult. They all sort of fell back into a very nice polite um it was a very nice and polite event. But it was lovely for me to see them all together. Unfortunately then after that I had to be isolated from everybody again. So then it was another you know six or seven months of not really not really seeing the family. Especially the grandkids because they're in the grand so I was waving at grandchildren from a balcony at one stage at Christmas I think we handed out presents and watched them down on the balcony because that was just before my surgery so I had to keep I had to keep clear of COVID. And this was this is all the the whole thing was you know everyone was still masked up when I was going through my chemo. Oh wow so everything was behind a mask. I didn't see what my doctors looked like until months after and then went oh you look like that because I've only seen the eyes for so long. Imagine the visual of that. Yeah. So it was only changes. It was it I felt like COVID went forever for me and it was because COVID ran into cancer.

Speaker 23:18

Yep. And you weren't able to bring support people in were you in that time?

Speaker 3 23:22

No not really. It was it just made it a little bit difficult. And look to be honest I I just dealt with it on my own. I went I was very sort of insula. I just sort of went into myself and was like I've got it I've got to do this. I mean no one else can do this for me. This is this is up to me. My body it's me.

Speaker 2 23:41

And what did that look like for you every day going into yourself?

Speaker 3 23:45

What I was probably the quietest I've ever been I have to say no chatting no no I just I was really I was really quite cut off probably not in a healthy way now when I look back mentally definitely my coping mechanism was sort of compartmentalized and just bring it all in. This is what I'm doing and my focus was not great. I couldn't read or write couldn't do anything I mean none none of the things that normally gave me joy gave me joy. Yeah. Even even to the extent and I'm quite embarrassed to say this like I was not even interested in what my children and grandchildren were doing. But it was very unwell I was unwell and and I understand that but now looking back I think gosh I wasn't even paying attention to messages or but that was your internal system trying to help you heal and look after yourself. Yeah and head down bum up like that's what you've always done to yeah and I that's probably a great way of saying it it really was just get it done you know move on. And you kept looking there obviously look he was great I mean he was doing he was trying to make me food that I really wasn't eating and getting quite frustrated that all I wanted was just plain white bread at the G Might and toast that's all I wanted not much not much else. I just didn't want to eat and couldn't stand the smell of the food and I couldn't taste it. There's a whole lot of stuff that goes with it. That's really it's not fun. He was trying to show you his love through food. And he was and and yeah I wasn't receptive. So it was yeah fair enough. Yeah.

Speaker 25:16

But he stuck through he he stuck with me and it was hard for him because you stuck through I do two of his he owes you one and hopefully there's no more but if there is another one he owes you another one as well just to be even so what was the process how was that what was the time frame?

Speaker 3 25:34

So about 10 months pretty much by the time I got through chemo and then surgery and then I was pretty much back to normal and I started to feel good straight away. Like after surgery it was like yeah I I'm free I'm back you know I'm back doing what I need to do. So surgery was double or single lasectomy? Double double nasectomy because then it was found that I have a genetic mutation that meant that there was no choice. And I I'd already decided beforehand that you know I would do a double nasectomy. But that was and there was not a lot of choice in that for me at the time as far as reconstruction and things like that. And I just say that's fine.

Speaker 2 26:13

Yeah happy I've gone flat I'm quite happy with that. I love the fact that people can own that now they have a choice between reconstruction or a nice scar. In fact I've got a friend who she has a tattoo on her scar and she decided to say flat and it was it's really special to see that it was her honouring her own body.

Speaker 3 26:32

So yeah it's an individual choice. Yeah one of my daughters has insisted I have tattoos and I said no I don't want any more needles anyway. No thank you. But it was much better after I got through that and I I felt like I was I was through and I was okay. Yeah um and so far touch wood. Yes um all good. Are you taking the drug and that you have to take post I didn't have to take any drugs. I don't know why. So that was another thing. I also had a choice about whether I want I had radio therapy or not and I chose not to because in a way I was sort of keeping it as a backup because if I did get cancer again then I would have it. But once you've had it you can't really have it again in the same spot. So I went you know what if I don't need to I'm not gonna do it. That was my thinking on that one. Even though it's always in the back of your mind that it might come back but I try not to think about that.

Speaker 27:28

Yeah does it affect the way you live your life like every time you have a ache in your back are you like oh God is this initially it did.

Speaker 3 27:36

It's it's better now a couple of years on like I actually feel like no no I'm I'm feeling stronger I'm feeling healthier I'm thinking I'm taking time to do the things that I want to do and I'm just getting on with it. You know if it comes back it comes back but at least I'm going to enjoy the time that I've got here. Yeah and I'm not wasting time doing things I don't want to do so I am being a little bit selfish about that. It's very hard for a woman to say she's selfish I think and it's I don't need selfish self protect that's the language we are so used to hearing isn't it?

Speaker 2 28:09

Because we're because we're yeah we're meant to be selfless. So can you give us an idea of what selfish in your idea um I get up in the morning and I swim now which I absolutely love.

Speaker 3 28:21

In the ocean in the ocean and I swam all the way through winter and Are you joking? Yeah. We sat down at Salty Dog. At Salty Dog yes love it. So I do that not every morning I I do it four mornings a week and started doing swim competitions and everything started doing ocean swimming loving it. That's been a real positive and if I think back to the me before that I had got quite lazy um I you know all I was doing was sitting at my desk all day writing thinking I just had to keep writing writing writing because I was never going to be published if I didn't keep going so it was I'm getting older I've really got to hurry up and do this. So so much of my energy was spent putting into this um this dream and then all of a sudden to have to pivot into this diagnosis of breast cancer and life or death really am I even going to be here for my kids? I I was thinking about you know how am I going to sort out this the trouble with my kids how am I going to get them back talking to each other so I was worried about that and then it was just this whole coming back into me dealing with me and having to move forward and control what you can control. Yeah yeah and and I had no control over what happened there but and I didn't have any control over even what was going on with my body which was another thing you know that that all that control is handed over to doctors. Yeah um and you know the care staff and um that was and I'm not a I'm not a control I'm definitely not I'm pretty laid back about things but the fact that I didn't even have a choice I had to deal with it and when you have to deal with it you have to deal with it. You just get on with it and do it. And you know I I did get through and I and I I look forward now to doing the things that I want to do. Without apology. Without apology and I'm trying not to apologize.

Speaker 2 30:18

And does that mean that you have boundaries so if you get invited to something and you absolutely don't want to go do you say no now?

Speaker 3 30:25

I absolutely do. Yeah it's like I'm too tired I can't be bothered I'm busy I'm not doing it. It's too hard. A lot of it is too far away. I mean things like you know for example I did go to a lot of writing events book launches talks whatever now it's become I really want to do that like can I do it? Can I fit it into what I want to do or what I need to do and no one's going to miss me if I'm not there.

Speaker 30:52

Well I would say thank you but I totally feel that because I live an hour out of the city and it's not every event is in the city and often on a weeknight and it's it's a massive commitment but when you're part of the writing community you want to participate right you oh absolutely and I want to support fellow writers and I mean that was that was a big thing.

Speaker 3 31:11

I wanted to to show that I was supporting them in any way I could fronting up to an event was one way to do it. But now I've looked at it and thought well as you said but mostly they're um in the city and as much as I love going to Melbourne I went to one event and I caught the train and I think it was a six hour journey for me. Oh my god and I thought wow I I can't do that for everybody and as much as I'd love to I just can't.

Speaker 31:36

Yeah you're being selective with your energy yeah so you self-published your first book I did. And which where did that fall in the timeline here?

Speaker 3 31:46

So after I came through the breast cancer I started to write something else. So that was quite cathartic. So that was the the story that will that was in that inspires the th the third book. Right. The Family Gift so that one I wrote and I got to the end of the year I think it was and then it must have been coming up for my 62nd birthday and all of a sudden I I just I woke up one day and I went what am I waiting for? Why am I waiting for a publisher to call me and get this done I know people who self-published. I'm really confident about my story the previous stories that I'd written I had two that I particularly that I wanted to have to tell us the titles The Florentine Quilt and the Roman off secret historical fiction dual narrative or multi-narrative for the first one. But I I really they I'd done the work on them they'd been written quite a few years before so I decided that this what am I waiting for? I can just do it the way I want to do it. So then all of a sudden it became very exciting the fact that I was going to have full control and not be the contour full control and be able to do this and do it the way I wanted to do it. And I released it on my 63rd birthday so that was so much fun. Congratulations not waiting around for someone else to say yes to you. Yeah which I think I've probably done most of my life really sat around and waited for somebody else to invite me forward. Yeah. Um and and I've watched other people surge on ahead and thought why haven't I done that? So I did. I I took it on and I had I had lots of amazing help um you know editorial help and and publishing help which was great and got it out there and just have absolutely loved it. And beautiful covers as well. Yeah.

Speaker 2 33:38

That sounds like um it was an epiphany that just one day you woke up and said I am going to take this matter into my own hands and there was nothing going to stop you. No and that's that's exactly what happened. And it was where did that come from? Where did that just um confidence and the will to take control of that particular issue.

Speaker 3 33:58

I honestly don't know where it came from. It just it really was like an epiphany as you said and it was very much a it was almost like I dreamt it and I woke up the next morning and went I can do this. Like of course I can do this. Yeah I can do it myself.

Speaker 2 34:13

And I love that and I it probably was a dream. Yeah it's probably a message from because I'm all anxious correct I'm totally into that but I to I do believe that was probably your gift to say stop waiting around people need to hear your story it's an important story. Get it out there good on you.

Speaker 34:29

Yeah and you'd had enough science to say hey your your life was at risk at some point your husband's life has been at risk you've had financial hardship you thought you couldn't have kids you had kids like you've you've overcome all of these things you're obviously lose yeah like your inner strength must be amazing. So yeah why why stop you now? I love that too.

Speaker 2 34:52

So was there any other gift that you received from a cancer diagnosis?

Speaker 3 34:57

There was I because of what I found out about my particular type of cancer and the fact that I had inherited this gene what happened then was it was a bit of a snowball effect. So on on my father's side there was a little bit of a sketchy background and we weren't really sure of I want more to read the book. Yes I wouldn't have to leave I want to read the book um so we didn't really have a lot of information about the medical history of part of his family and I had a bit of an inkling that there you know there was there were some cancers I wanted to know more. So when I went through I I had genetic testing and I insisted on the genetic testing I wasn't really the right demographic for it. Oh really I actually asked the oncologist if I could have it thank god you did yeah and I because I just kept saying where has it come from because most of my family's pretty healthy I mean on my mother's side particularly and I'd been healthy all my life. That's a reasonable thing which is what I did too like why why me I think I think that must happen to everybody. It's like why me and it's not just a poor me it's a why? Yeah because I don't want this again how do I stop this happening? So um I had the genetic testing and it I didn't get the results back again. It took ages because everything was the backlog and I only found out like 10 days before my surgery not that it made any difference because I'd already as I said I already decided that I was going to have a double massectomy but um after after the results I had no choice. Right. So I had contacted a an uncle to find out if there were any relatives I could speak to about um there were two two women in the family who had died from breast cancer and they were quite young. So that's why I wasn't really relating to me at 60 and these people were like in their forties. So I contacted cousins who I had never met and I had to get their permission to release the medical the medical history of their their mothers and all of this is all connected to the familial family centre at the Royal Royal Melbourne hospital. So they keep a record of the connection between your families and obviously in that part of my family there was there were sort of highlights but there weren't the dots weren't connected. They had not put together what exactly was caught the cause of these frequent fascinating and the genetic strain. Yeah absolutely so what happened was when my results came back it triggered the Pell B2 gene and then all of a sudden all of these cousins were getting called in to be retested and that's where it that's the problem.

Speaker 2 37:44

That's been the problem it's been sort of so by you getting tested and understanding this you then have a there's a ramification because what do you do with that information that has consequences to aunties, uncles, uh cousins, children, siblings exactly that was yeah interesting so you have information that can impact their lives what do you do?

Speaker 3 38:06

I I was so adamant that that I had to let as many people know as possible. How can I spread this news? I need them to know so I contacted as many cousins distant cousins all these people a lot of them I hadn't met and just you know I'd speak to one cousin to speak to her cousins to speak to the you know and just kept going. We started a Facebook group within the family just to give them the information and to say please go and be tested just to see power please see because it actually affects males as well so it's not just a female thing and it also possibly can lead to ovarian cancer prostate cancer and pancreatic cancer. Wow huge consequences for people that you don't even know. Yeah so I j I just felt like people have to have the information and I think that's always been the thing with me. It's like if you're informed you make a decision. Yeah and if you don't have the information it is out of your control it is out of your hands. Yeah so for them to to know that there was that this was a risk and this was potentially the cause of you know umpteen cancers within the family. Wow um and it's a big family. Did it open up um information about other people that might have died from pancreatic and um other great grandfather I think it was died from what they called stomach cancer which was probably pancreatic cancer now that we know. So that looks like where the genes come from um because we can trace it down through his line. But what it did do was for particularly for two cousins who had lost their mothers young the ones that I was talking about they immediately knew that they had to go and have something done. So not that they didn't know because they were already being monitored by um by the Royal Melbourne Hospital. They were already under their guidance. So they were having even though at a young age they were probably having their breast screens yearly or whatever this meant that straight away well one of them went straight off and she said right that's it I'm I'm going in for surgery too. I'm doing it now.

Speaker 2 40:17

So you've potentially saved their lives.

Speaker 3 40:18

Yeah magnificent that's a gift an incredible gift a duty of care that you really took to the next level I'd like to say it was lucky too I mean it was just you know lucky that I that I got it and that I I insisted on the the screening um just to find out what was going on and and you know a lot of that was because I've I've got children too I've got grandchildren what happens to them and where does it go after me? Yeah.

Speaker 2 40:44

So you know I've got a sister I've got a niece nephews yeah wow um yeah was there any backlash from the family about what you did and what you found or was it all thank God we know now?

Speaker 3 40:56

Yeah very much they were all a bit they they were all leaning towards the yeah thank goodness I know although it was strange um in hospital I I found a nurse who said her mother had breast cancer and she didn't want to know and I that just completely confused me. I I thought well how could you how could you be working in this working looking after women who are going through chemo and she said I don't want to know and I thought that's but that's a coping mechanism too isn't it? I mean we're just we're all different. And maybe she just lives every day. She and maybe she does and I hadn't lived every day and now I have now I do. So I needed the wake up call obviously the slap around the head.

Speaker 41:38

I used to say that cancer doesn't give many gifts but it does give the gift of time which is the time that you can take to tell people how you feel about them generally positive hopefully but also your ongoing gift is that you've given people extra time because they've gone and got themselves checked. I mean how beautiful that's yeah that's incredible that you fought for that and then tried so hard to find the network of people. I mean almost like a family reunion come here come to a big picnic and we'll all get tested.

Speaker 3 42:08

I mean the testing is so simple it's just a blood test too. It's not anything terribly invasive. Yeah or it it it's a blood test that you it's that easy but yeah you have to sit down with a counsellor and speak to them about the ramification options.

Speaker 2 42:23

Yeah it's quite confronting. And that's confronting yeah do you know and a figure how many people that impacted that dis decision?

Speaker 3 42:32

Um I'm just trying to think how many of them went off and were tested or I mean at least a dozen straight off went and were tested. And the thing is obviously if you've got it if you have the the mutation you there's a 50% chance of passing it on to your children. If you don't have it well you're all clear. So there's yeah that's it it does it's not like it skips a generation. It has to come straight through yeah and some have been lucky and some unfortunately haven't but at least they know and they can go and you know take precautions because there are ways to deal with it.

Speaker 2 43:10

Amazing it is a gift and um that that's very impactful. Love hearing that story. So what what have you let go through this process you've taken control you've um starting to live fully and do what you want to do and being more intentional.

Speaker 3 43:27

What have you had to let go of I think maybe the superficiality of life you know just I there's no bullshit. I love that I just get on with it this is me this is who I am I don't care anymore I really don't I don't care what you think about how I look or how I don't look I really couldn't care less. Yep it's quite free it is quite freeing I'm here I'm I'm doing my thing I'm doing exactly what I want this is me this is me this is us you know I'm I'm not gonna be anything you think I am, this is me. And I'm I'm honest, I'm open, and you know, that's it.

Speaker 2 44:05

Yeah. And has that repelled some people or and or magnetised some? Or is it both? Oh, I'd like to hope it magnetised some, but um, I mean look the ones that fall off because they think um I I'd say I've definitely pissed people off part of the way.

Speaker 3 44:21

Yeah, you seem so gentle and you know, uh there would be people that just don't understand. And you know, if you d if you don't get it, I don't that's that's not on me. No, and also maybe the Chrissy they knew before. Yeah, I looked at the Chrissy they know after. Yeah. The kids have said to me, um my youngest son said to me, this is like this is like the old mum back. And I went, the old mum, like he means from when I would when he was younger. And I was like, wow. What does he mean by that? Well, you know, I'm a bit more fun, I think that maybe. And I'm a bit more like I have a laugh and you know, I joke, but I mean you went through some shit. Yeah. That might be why you didn't find many opportunities to laugh, but that's nice to hear. And maybe I was more fun back then because I might have been having a few few too many drinks. But these days it's not because I'm having a few too many drinks, it's just because it's me. You know, he's seeing the real me, I think, now. And I think it's taken a long time for the for me to find me. And I really feel like I feel that.

Speaker 2 45:21

I absolutely feel that. How do you know when you've found the real you?

Speaker 3 45:25

Well, it's taken, as I said, it's taken 60 how many years, but yeah, I just feel this is this is me. I'm genuine. I'm true to who you are. I'm true to who I am. I'm I'm living the life I was meant to live. I'm being the person I was meant to be, and it's just taken a long time to get. Yeah.

Speaker 2 45:41

Are you getting teary? Are you gonna make me look teary? Yeah, I just got full body chill. So did I. Yeah, I am actually just fully chilled up right now because that is your spirit, the soul of who you are, and it's just so powerful.

Speaker 45:54

I think it's what we want all women or all people, but women live their lives, particularly when you're a mum, for other people. Yeah. And it takes a long time to get back to the essence of who you are. And there will be pushback on that, you know, like the changes that we go through. And you've had a lot of curveballs thrown your way. So maybe you were so busy getting through the hard times that you just never had time to stop and think. And then finally, COVID and cancer, which sound like bloody awful things, maybe gave you the opportunity to stop and think and be spiritual.

Speaker 3 46:33

Yeah, take a beat and just sit back and time heals. Yeah. I mean it does. I think it it really does. It's a horrible thing to think that you have to wait and you have to sit and sit in the still and just wait. Yeah. But you do get through eventually.

Speaker 46:52

And you've talked about how you fiercely protect your joy. How do you do that?

Speaker 3 46:58

Just by living it, like just doing it, just getting out there and going, This is what I'm having. I'm gonna have the experience. I'm I'm gonna take a chance on things. Um, I'm not gonna be afraid to try something. So, for example, um, a couple of weekends ago on International Women's Day, I did a nudie swim. Woo! There's no way old old Chrissy would have done that. There's absolutely no way. Yeah, and it was just beautiful. It was just so beautiful. I mean, all women. Yeah. Um, in the ocean. It was just I love it. It was so great. Brilliant. Um, there's no way no no would have done that before. And did anyone try to talk you out of it? No. Good. No, because they can fuck off. Exactly. The women I've met swimming have been just the most beautiful, and look, there's men as well, and they're lovely too, but it's just been the most beautiful community. And I've just absolutely I've been embraced by them, and I have embraced them into my world, and I'm so grateful.

Speaker 4 48:03

I love that.

Speaker 3 48:04

I mean, there's some people who've gone through way worse than me. It's like the sea is so spiritual, it's so calming and wonderful and grounding. It's so lovely to be out in nature, and every day, you know, we're looking at the sun popping up like this morning. It was just this beautiful orange ball. Yeah, we walked. And it was just lovely. And we're we're out there in floating in the water, watching the sun coming up, going, how lucky we are to be here.

Speaker 2 48:28

Yeah. So that the point of living, like living in the moment, being present. Um, Kylie and I went for a walk on the beach this morning and we saw that orange ball. And we, there was a sense of awe and wonder about something simple like the sun rising.

Speaker 3 48:45

Every day it rises and every day it's different, every day it's a miracle.

Speaker 48:49

I mean, it's amazing. We interviewed another amazing woman called Kylie, which you will hear on the podcast, and she was talking about in Brazil when the sun sets, everybody on the beach goes quiet and then they applaud. Oh, wow. Can you imagine just being so in the moment that you're so thankful for this beauty in this moment? Because how often do we just get too busy and too stressed to take the moment? And that's why nature is so important, isn't it?

Speaker 3 49:17

It is, and I don't think I appreciated that at all beforehand, and that's something um I definitely have more awareness. I mean, yeah, when we travelled, I looked at beautiful sites and landscapes, and I mean, I love buildings, so I love the buildings, but just to sit in you know, the nakedness of nature, and you know, with no nothing, I mean, looking out to sea and you you know, you're just looking endless, ocean and land and you know We're all one.

Speaker 2 49:46

It's wonderful. We are all just part of the one universe, and we did have to stop today and and said, right, we're gonna not talk for five minutes. That was about two minutes, not even, but we did it. We intentionally said, let's just soak in this moment because it was majestic and it was spiritual. There's it there's an element of connection with the divine when you're seeing the sun and you're enjoying the moment and you're being fully present, even if you're standing next to someone. It's just it's what we're here for, isn't it?

Speaker 50:19

Absolutely. I think it it shows you that it's bigger than you. Yeah. Like whatever's going on for you, not to make it irrelevant, but just say that there's a bigger thing at at play here or whatever.

Speaker 3 50:31

And whether you're here or not, the sun's still going to rise the next day. That's right. And move on. And I think it's just, you know, like I've watched um my mother getting older, and I've I'm looking at her thinking, what does she think about nearing the end of your life? And I mean, I I I've lost my dad, and that was a while ago, and to have a parent left, and you know, I'm looking at her thinking, oh gosh, she's not gonna be here forever. None of us are gonna be here forever. It's the only certain absolutely, and you know that, and it's like I I just have to enjoy whatever time I have, and she must be thinking that too. So I'm all thinking about when I'm her age, will I be her age? Will I get there? Yeah. Um, and if I don't, it doesn't matter because I'm just gonna be here and enjoy every, you know, every second of this. And you know, I'm loving spending time with the grandchildren, I'm loving seeing all of the grandchildren playing together, you know, it's amazing.

Speaker 51:28

So the the rift is repairing.

Speaker 3 51:30

Yeah, the kids they're all they're all interacting and it's good. It's taken a while. The beach is great for that, and all of our grandkids are here. They all live down this way. So that's it's been great. So it has been very nature has been healing for our whole family, really.

Speaker 2 51:48

Is your mum is she a person who's enjoying life as well?

Speaker 3 51:52

Or is it getting harder? I think it's just getting harder, and I think, you know, just the realization of where you are in your lifespan must be hard. I mean, they downsized and they got rid of a lot of stuff and she started handing over treasures to the grandchildren. And you're like, oh, that must be hard. You know, the fact that you're going, I'm not gonna be here, but I'll just pass this on to you. And look, I I went through a stage thinking stuff like that. I was going through the isolation with the chemo. My daughter, for her for her children, her two boys, she asked that on their first birthday we write them a letter. So she wanted a letter from everyone in the family for them. I think she was gonna give it to them on the 18th or the 21st or something. And I was actually writing the one to the youngest grandchild who had been born during the COVID time. And then I started to think I might not be here for his 18th birthday. And all of the realization that maybe I wasn't gonna see him grow up. And that would that was really hard, a hard period to look at that and think, well, I'm not gonna be here. But you know, as you said, we're not gonna be here forever. Instead of worrying about it, yeah, just got to get on and create those memories. Create the memories, yeah. And all those things that hopefully we remember and our kids remember, and it'll be like you said, the time or the feeling. It'll be the feeling of, you know, how did I feel when we did that? Yep. Or when when we went there, or I was excited when that happened, or you know, they're the feelings that you remember, and hopefully the the bad stuff they'll forget about. Yeah.

Speaker 2 53:23

Yeah, that's very wise. So have you got any parting wisdom for a woman that might be listening to this, or man? Let's hope there's some men listening too. Our husbands will be, because we'll make them. Yes, we will. Hello, Con. Hello Con, yes, and Pat and Nick. Um, who, you know, if they're going through a challenging time, if they are in the thick of having kids and looking after elderly parents and they're just, you know, it's life's tough at the moment. What piece of advice, what pearl of wisdom have you got for them?

Speaker 3 53:59

I really think that time heals and you will get through it. You will get through it because nothing lasts forever. I mean, nothing at all. And it's really a short period of time. And I, you know, I remember thinking how hard it was at different times with, you know, juggling kids and doing whatever. But really now when I look back, that was a short amount of time. And yes, it was tough. There were tougher times, but there was there were fun times too. But sit just take a beat, sit back, just take a deep breath and then get on with it. Get on with it for the next day and the next day and the next day, and you will get through it. Yeah. I just think getting through the hardest part of of anything is the unknown. Um, but you can only deal with what you can on a day-to-day basis, and it's it's too scary to look too far ahead. So you just just one step at a time, just keep going. Is that what you told yourself on your darkest days? Yeah, definitely. Do you know what? I was living in 12-hour shifts. Yeah. So I would get up at nine o'clock in the morning and I would be watching the clock, pretty much going, and now I can have a sleep. And now I'm gonna have something to eat, and now I'm gonna go back to bed. And I went back into bed, and it was like that was that was my happy place, just to sleep, because I thought I'm just gonna sleep through this and get it done. Sleep through until the next day, and the next day, and you know, I was counting I was counting it down a little bit, um, because I knew it was a matter of time and I was gonna be through it. Yeah. So yeah.

Speaker 55:44

So your book, a family gift, it's not a memoir? No, it just it's a family saga. Okay. And has that been a cathartic way to kind of process everything that you've been through?

Speaker 3 55:56

Yeah, definitely, because the contemporary character is very much based on my breast cancer journey. So she's an aspiring author who on the eve of her um breast cancer diagnosis, she finds out that she also has a publishing deal. So she's got to navigate that. And there's a whole lot of other family stuff going on as well. So she's also she has family problems.

Speaker 56:24

Sounds like a fabulous read that many of us will relate to, no doubt.

Speaker 3 56:28

There is um uh another timeline as well. So the other timeline just sort of relates to sketchy family, sketchy family past and understanding where you come from, really. This is the gory bit I need to read, isn't it?

Speaker 56:42

The gory bit. Not too gory. Maybe some grit in there. Yeah. And is this the book that was picked up by a traditional publisher now? It was picked up by Hawkeye Publishing. Congratulations. And is that what you were hoping for, or you were happy to self-publish again?

Speaker 3 56:57

If it wasn't picked up, I probably would have self-published that. Yeah, definitely. Um, because I I I do really love the story. The the past part of it was actually part of a story I wrote a very long time ago, so that's been reworked, and that's um that's actually the backstory of um the family gift.

Speaker 57:15

That's amazing. And this is a great lesson that it's never too late. No. Never too late, is it? Back yourself to have those big dreams and keep going. Keep going. Well, congratulations, and thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker 2 57:29

Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. This episode of that day is brought to you by Amona. For more than 50 years, Amona has been proudly supporting women in rediscovering their confidence after breast surgery. They offer a comprehensive range of products to assist women throughout their recovery journey, from immediately after breast surgery back into everyday life. This includes specialist garments for recovery care, breast prothesis, partial shapers, pocketed lingerie, swimwear, lymphedema garments, and more. Amona collaborates closely with healthcare professionals, stockists, and individuals with lived experience of breast cancer to ensure its products meet real needs. When I was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer last year, I was completely blindsided and thrown into a world I had never experienced before. Even though breast cancer is so common, with 56 Australians diagnosed every day, and one in seven women diagnosed, there was still so much I didn't know. So today I've invited Heidi Flarity, the marketing and education manager for Amona, Australia, to talk with me. Heidi has over 15 years of experience in retail marketing and she's passionate about connecting people with the right solutions. At Amona, Heidi plays a key role in training breast form fitters and regularly presents at educational sessions for healthcare professionals, sharing her knowledge to increase awareness on supporting women after breast cancer surgery. So today, Heidi has some questions for me about my experience and knowledge about the breast cancer journey. Welcome, Heidi, and thank you for joining me.

Speaker 1 59:17

My pleasure, Jack. Thanks for having me. Excellent. Now I understand you have some questions for me. Just a few. Some common ones that can come up that we find with people impacted by breast cancer. Let's see what you may or may not have been told. Sure. Sounds great. So did you have breast surgery after you were diagnosed?

Speaker 2 59:37

Yes, I had a um wide, wide local excision um and I had two little cancers taken out.

Speaker 1 59:45

So did they mention to you after surgery, were you t asked or told to wear a compression bra at all? No, actually. They didn't mention anything about um what bra to wear. Sure. Was there anything that you felt more comfortable in that perhaps you defaulted to?

Speaker 2 1:00:02

I definitely wanted softer fabric or wasn't even sure if I was supposed to be wearing a bra. I certainly didn't want the underwear or anything that put pressure on.

Speaker 1 1:00:14

So I guess that's one of the things that can be a bit of a shock or surprise is you know, how do you support your body's healing after surgery? Our bodies can be quite fragile, um, particularly our breasts, there's a lot of nerve endings, there are a lot of different parts interacting together. At Amona, uh for post-op care, we'd be looking at uh three stages, post-op compression, post-op comfort, and post-op everyday. So post-op compression, a garments designed to be worn from immediately after surgery up until about six to eight weeks. And compression can actually support your body in recovering well. Did you undergo any radiation as part of your treatment? Yes, I had three weeks intensive radiation. Did um anyone mention to you the impacts of radiation longer term in terms of on your breast tissue?

Speaker 2 1:01:02

The radiation oncologist did speak to me about that. And the uh nurses were amazing. But yeah, I do have scarring on my body, and I'm not sure if that's gonna be forever or if it's gonna heal.

Speaker 1 1:01:16

Well, scar tissue is actually active, it stays active for up to two years after the operation. So it can continue to develop. You might find that your wound heals over on a surface level, but underneath there's still a lot more repair and recovery happening. So again, impression can be helpful in terms of helping your scarring. There's a silicon gel, and we also do silicon patches that can be worn over the top. They help to create another barrier, help to keep the moisture in your tissue as well, and stop your scars drying out. The other thing to mention with radiation is that it can cause tissue to shrink and harden over time. So it's not unusual, even though you've had some tissue removed with the tumors, but it could be worth keeping an eye on your breasts longer term to just to see if there's any major difference in shape and size between that and your non-affected breasts. The Australian government released this initiative in 2008. So a woman can apply for a $400 rebate every two years to help go towards the cost of a shaper or breast form. Just Google Medicare breastform rebate, and it will take you straight there. The rebate is designed to be payback into the woman's account within 10 business days of them receiving the application. Wow, that's so good. I wish I'd known that too. Absolutely. And um, she can claim every two years.

Speaker 2 1:02:34

Are your products online or are they can are they um stopped at certain shops?

Speaker 1 1:02:42

Both. So if you have a network of stockers across Australia and New Zealand, you can go onto our website. There's a find a stockers page. You can also select online. We have some great online retailers as well who are more than happy to send product your way. Have you been advised to do, say, any massage or the breast area post-surgery or perhaps around your scarring?

Speaker 2 1:03:03

No, that is a question I did ask the surgeon and the radiation oncologist, and neither of them said I needed to do that. But I've kind of done it anyway, because it just felt like I should, because it just it needed some attention.

Speaker 1 1:03:19

Yeah, absolutely. It's not an unusual technique, particularly for physios. Um, and there are some who specialize in scar tissue. A gentle massage of the scar tissue is quite a great way to keep the scar tissue mobilized and flexible. Wow, I did not know that.

Speaker 2 1:03:35

Is there anything else that you think um would help our listeners recovering from breast cancer surgery or radiation or chemo?

Speaker 1 1:03:43

How amona can help? Sure. Well, you're always welcome to reach out to us on our social media pages or via our website if you have questions. There are no silly questions.

Speaker 2 1:03:53

I'm very grateful for you giving me that information and and our listeners. Well, thank you so much. That's why Amona matters. They're not just creating products, they're creating confidence, comfort, and support for women at every stage of recovery. So if you or someone you love is navigating breast cancer, Amona is a name worth knowing. Thank you so much, Heidi, for joining us today. And I'm very grateful for the information that you provided. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:04:22

You're very welcome. Thanks for listening to That Day with Kylie and Jack. If this story stirred something in you, if you've had that day, we'd love to hear from you. Find us on Instagram at That DayPodcast or get in touch via email. Hosts at thatdaypodcast.com. Your story matters. We're listening.

Speaker 2 1:04:44

We record that day in Naram on the lands of the Warangeri Boy Worong people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to elders, past, present, and honour their enduring tradition of storytelling.