The Sister Wound, Discernment & Trusting Your Intuition

We've all heard the phrase, "She's your mirror."

And while I absolutely believe there are moments when another woman reflects something within us that's ready to heal, I don't believe that's always the case.

What if sometimes... it's not a mirror?

What if it's your intuition quietly letting you know that someone simply isn't meant to be in your inner circle?

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the sister wound, the difference between judgment and discernment, and why supporting women doesn't mean we have to ignore our own inner knowing. We can celebrate another woman's gifts, cheer her on wholeheartedly, and still recognize that she may not be our person.

Healing the sister wound isn't about becoming friends with every woman. It's about releasing comparison and competition while learning to trust yourself, honor your boundaries, and keep your heart open.

In this episode, we explore:

• What the sister wound really is
• Why we've been conditioned to compare and compete
• The belief that "she's your mirror"—and why I think it's more nuanced than that
• The difference between judgment and discernment
• How to trust your intuition without making another woman wrong
• Supporting women without abandoning yourself
• Why not every woman is meant to be in your inner circle—and that's okay

If this episode resonated with you, I'd be so grateful if you shared it with another woman who might need to hear this conversation. And if you're enjoying Raw & Embodied, please subscribe and leave a five-star review. Your support helps these conversations reach more people.

Ready to reconnect with your intuition and your inner light?

My one-on-one Pathway to Your Inner Light sessions are designed to help you release old stories, reconnect with yourself, and trust the wisdom that's already within you.

Learn more and book your session at peacefulbutterflyhealings.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Ron Enbodied. I'm Andrea, and I'm so excited you're here. This is a space where we are going to get real. We'll talk about healing, the stories we carry, the patterns that keep us stuck, the courage it takes to use our voice, and what it truly means to choose ourselves. My hope is that every conversation helps you to come back to your own truth, your own power, and your own inner light. So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's dive in. Hello, hello. Welcome back to Ron Embodied with Andrea. I am excited to be back. I had a beautiful break. We headed up to the mountains and I went up there with my husband and my friend, and we went up to Crestibute. And if you've never been to Cresty Butte, oh my gosh. I have lived here my whole life and had never been. And it is so beautiful. The wildflowers are gorgeous. It was just heaven. So if you've never been, I highly recommended like the end of June, beginning of July. There was so many wildflowers. It was stunning. But it was a great break. I really needed that break. And I just needed some nature and to unplug and to completely disconnect. But I'm back. And uh today I want to talk about something that has really just, I don't know, in my awareness, I guess. So I want to talk about the sister wound. And it's, you know, it is something that has come into the communities to talk about in, I think the last five years. And um, but I want to talk about it maybe from like a little bit of a different perspective. For so many years, women were taught to compete with one another. We compared ourselves. I mean, we still do that, but we let we, you know, we we felt really jealous, we gossiped a lot. Um, we were taught that there was not enough room for all of us to shine. And not maybe all of us, but it was definitely when we were younger, those things would show up. And I truly believe that that is changing. And I love watching women support women. It is so beautiful. And I have the most incredible women in my life, and I wouldn't be here today without them. I mean, I without the confidence and being held by the women that I have been held by, especially in the last 10 years, I wouldn't be where I am today if I if it wasn't for them. But lately, I've noticed something else happening. And I think it annoys the shit out of me. It almost feels like the message has become: if another woman bothers you, then she's your mirror. If you don't resonate with someone, you're projecting. If something feels off, you must need, you must have like a shit marathon of healing to do. If you're uncomfortable, it's because there's something inside of you that needs to be fixed. And honestly, I don't really agree with that. Now, before you get upset with me, absolutely there are moments when people mirror something inside of us. We all have shadows, we all have wounds, we all have that place where life invites us to grow. But I don't believe that it's true every single time. I'm sorry, I just I don't believe that. Sometimes it's your like intuition simply talking to you that something doesn't feel right. Sometimes your body notices, like, especially when you're around someone that it just isn't aligned with, you can feel it in your body. And someone, sometimes someone just doesn't feel aligned with you. It doesn't mean they're a bad person. It doesn't mean that you're better than them. It doesn't mean that you need to convince anyone else that you're right. It simply means they may not be your person. And I think we become so afraid of being seen as judgmental that we've stopped trusting ourselves a little bit. There's a really big difference between judgment and discernment. You know, when we're being judgmental, we can be really catty and, you know, pick at every single thing that you don't like about another woman, whatever. But when your discernment is coming in, it is just telling you this person, this group, this feeling, whatever, it just doesn't feel aligned for me. And those are completely different energies. We don't have to tear down any other woman to choose to not let them in your energy and your inner circle. And we don't need to tear them down, like I said. You don't need to prove that they're doing anything wrong. You can just say, like, I wish them well, but it's just not a person for me. And to me, that's actually a really healed place to be. Because I've learned my intuition isn't usually wrong. It has its moments, but it's not usually wrong. I have a deep inner knowing. And I think when I ignore those, that's when things get out of alignment. I start maybe getting too close to someone that it didn't feel right to get close to. Again, it doesn't mean they're a bad person. It just means it's not the person for me. Um, you know, there's been times where I've left conversations feeling like really expanded and happy and light and just so excited. And there's others that I leave feeling really heavy and I don't feel very good in my body, and my nervous system doesn't feel safe, you know? And I've learned to stop talking myself out of those feelings just because someone told me I needed to find a mirror. Maybe there is a mirror, or maybe my intuition is lovingly protecting me from something. And I think we need to give ourselves permission to ask that question. Not every feeling is fear, not every uncomfortable feeling is a projection, not every person is meant to teach us through deep friendship. Some people aren't our people, and that's okay. That is okay. I will always celebrate other women's businesses, I will always celebrate her beautiful gifts, and I genuinely hope that all women succeed. I can love what any woman is creating in this world, and I can still know that she's not someone I'm meant to walk closely beside.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

These two things can exist at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

But to me, that's healing the sister wound. We're still keeping that vibration at that state of support and love. It just doesn't mean that I need to have possibly that woman, that group, that women's group, whatever, in my energy all the time. Not pretending every woman is meant to be my best friend is important to me because I found myself as I've gotten older that that isn't authentic. And it's not going to come through in the relationship anyway, if you are pretending. And I'm not going to ignore my intuition because I'm afraid of looking unhealed. And I just see that happening. I just see it. I see it. I really do. But learning to keep our heart open while deeply trusting ourselves, that's where the balance is. We can keep our heart open, we can be unguarded, but we can also trust that some people are just not for us. And that's beautiful. I think that's the balance, you know? Because healing isn't about abandoning ourselves in order to belong. It's about belonging to ourselves first. So maybe today the question isn't what is she mirroring in me? Maybe the question is what is my intuition trying to tell me? I think that's a conversation we don't have enough. I want us to start understanding that we can really start trusting those inner feelings instead of asking everybody around us, like, is it okay that I don't resonate with this other person or group and be okay with it? We can just trust like it's not for us. I don't have to hate anybody, I don't have to judge anybody, I don't have to do anything. It's just this deep discernment that I am okay. And I don't need to listen to outside shit of someone telling me that I still have a lot of sister wounds to heal because I'm not accepting that everything is always a mirror. Sometimes it's just not. And sometimes it is, like I said, sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not. And we get to trust ourselves. We get to understand that our intuition is saying something different. And I'm not saying my intuition is perfect a hundred percent of the time. There are absolutely, there have absolutely been moments where another woman mirrored something I needed to heal, for sure. But there have also been moments where months or years later, I realized my intuition was quietly picking up on something very real, and I was ignoring it. And let me tell you, it didn't help me out when I did that. I ignored things for a very long time and a couple of relationships in my life, and if I wouldn't have done that, things would have probably been different.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

And the wisdom is just learning the difference. So that's what I wanted to share. That was on my heart today. I just feel that not everything is a mirror. Sometimes it's just your intuition. All right. I hope that you all have a beautiful day, and until next time.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Thank you so much for spending time with me today. It truly means the world that you're here, and I hope this sweet little conversation gave you something to reflect on. If this episode resonated with you, I would love for you to share it with another woman who might need to hear it. And if you are enjoying the podcast, leaving a five-star review is one of the best ways to help more people find the conversations. If you've been feeling disconnected from yourself, questioning your intuition, or simply ready to come back to your own self. I have a few openings for my one-on-one pathway to interlate sessions. These sessions are a space for you to slow down, to release what no longer is serving, reconnect with your wisdom that's already within you. You can find the details on the show notes. And until next time, please listening to please keep listening to your heart. Trust your intuition. And remember, your light has always been there. Sometimes we just need to clear away everything that made us forget.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I'll see you next week.