Energy Is Everything (Episode 3)

Most people are focused on managing their time. The best operators manage their energy.

In this episode, Kyle Hosick and Kim Fitzpatrick break down why energy is one of the most overlooked drivers of performance in leadership and business. Your energy sets the tone before you say a word, and it shapes how people respond, how decisions get made, and how outcomes unfold.

When your energy is right, everything moves differently.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Legacy Live. I'm your host, Kyle Hosick.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

And I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

As we are starting to develop through this, uh, you know, this is the podcast about business, entrepreneurship, mindset, leadership, community.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Community all of these things.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

And this has been proving to be a lot of fun. And I like how actually in this intro we're adding new words every week.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

We're innovative. That's we're stretching your head.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

What are we gonna talk about today?

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Okay. I I'm I'm really pumped about that. So there's there's we're gonna talk about two things. We're gonna talk about energy and we're gonna talk about attitude. Love that. And there's a reason why I love this is because I truly believe that you introduce yourself with your energy before you even walk into a room, before you pick up a phone, before you send a message. Everything is energy.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

It's palpable. It is, it's noticeable. Yeah. It's what moves other people to uh the level of engagement they want with you. Yes, absolutely. It's everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Energy's everything. And you know, it's you can tell when someone's in a terrible mood, you can tell when somebody's happy, you can tell when somebody's when you when it's off-putting, or like energy is the greatest communication in the I'm gonna argue in the world. And you know, the other thing too, and we can talk about this, and I want to dive into this because I think there's this, there's a difference between time management and energy management, but I'd like let's like lead into that later in the okay in the show because I just to hear I know, right? I mean, I have a take on it, but didn't want to dive right into this big this big line in the sand about time management and energy management. But the more you manage your energy, the more you can manage your time.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah, I believe that. And you know, energy for me, and this is an entrepreneur business podcast. Energy to me is what what you bring to the table and the at, you know, energy and attitude could be the same word for me. Yeah. Because I pride myself on making sure any interaction I have with someone, I don't try to force it to be memorable, but I want the other person to go, hmm. Interesting.

unknown 2:21

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

And and that I pride myself on acting that way, and it's serving what I need it to now because it's natural for me. Right. Because it isn't forced. And I, you know, you know, one of my heroes, and I you probably didn't know I would get into this in episode three of the podcast. But like I have to because I've looked up to this guy for over half my life, and I'm so proud that he's he's not well known, like he's very well known, but he at the same time he isn't for the reason I'm gonna give you now. Is I saw I this is Angus Young from ACDC. He nobody does energy better than this guy, and nobody does consistency better. And when you compare those two, uh not compare, when you can pair those two traits, you're unstoppable.

unknown 3:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Can you say that again? The two traits that was good.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

It it's energy and it's consistency, and people they like you're fun to be around. A zoom call at the 59th minute, that other person or that team is thinking, oh, I wish this was an hour and a half, because that was fun, right? And that, and then it's can the consistency element is they can rely on you for that experience every time. There's no guessing, and that's like so fundamental in business for me is energy and consistency.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

You know, it's interesting too because it's like, and I went through this, so I'm certainly not like the most even at all times, right? But I really want to work towards that. That's a characteristic that I'm working towards. And you know, even like I remember one of my children, they made a comment. They're like, Yeah, you just feel like it's it just seems just calmer now, you know, mom? Like, you know, you're yeah, and it's like you're it's and that's there's a there's an evenness to that. And that I think really aligns with consistency. It's when you know what to expect. Whereas sometimes it's like you might not know what to expect when you're and many of you that are listening or you're watching this, you might be like, I know exactly who I'm thinking about when you're never know when you're gonna walk in and whether they're gonna be happy, angry, pissed, any emotion in the world. And it's like that is a stressful energy, it's stressful.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

I'm gonna say this again. I didn't know I'd get in this on podcast three, but I live like my entire childhood being uh the stand-up comedian, so I could try to control the energy in rooms.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Yeah, and that's interesting because it's like that will the way that we're raised, the way that we, you know, and I too, it's like uh it was it was like this yelly household. And I was like, what okay, what am I gonna get today? You know, so you're you're trying to be this overcompensator for yeah, the joy, the happiness, the everything's okay, everything's great. And now I realized, oh, wait, no, no, no, no. I am actually a really happy, positive. Like, I I don't I dopamine is like released every 13 seconds in my brain. I'm like, oh, and it's like, you know, it's I really think about myself as like being born from a golden retriever litter. Like I'm just that a golden retriever energy. But it got a little confused when I was just trying to keep the peace. And then I had to distill that energy. Do you ever feel like you've had to like actually figure out? Because you're funny, right? You would now you had to be, you are you're super funny, but have you ever thought in this in your age right now and your stage in your life with your energy that some of that you're not a performative human? You just truly are who you are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Oh yes. That makes bringing the energy easier. And this goes back to what you said about like, can you lead if you don't know yourself yet?

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Can you bring the is the energy authentic if you don't know why it's there?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

And that's a good question. So it's like, at what point in your leadership, your self-leadership, did you know, like, I'm gonna, I don't need to be this, I don't need to create the energy. I am energy. And you stopped kind of having to, you know, settle the room, and you just got to be the room.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

That was when uh I mentioned my first job where I was I discovered what entrepreneurship was, and the it not just the freedom in your schedule, it was the freedom in being yourself and being productive. Right. Is and that I got to show the energy. I got and the and you know, it's like A B testing where you're like, I'm bringing the energy, it's my natural self, and people are liking working with me. Right. And that that's like such a good powerful combo when you're like, oh, I feel wanted because of the energy. And I was like, oh, this is awesome because now I can double down on being myself. And that that that happens super early, and I've just you know, I have very good friendships since you know, a very long time, but I know that those friends would be like, that's what he brings, and that's what he and like once I can, you know, hang my hat, my coat, and everything on that, where I can just lean into not worrying about being somebody different, that's true freedom.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Wow, you know, it's interesting, and I it's it's like I'm even sitting here just listening to this, and we've coached like literally hundreds of people, you know, and each other now. Yeah, and it's super fun. It is so much fun. Did you know that Kyle was at one point uncoachable, but now he's very coachable, very coachable. Um, that's like an inside that's an inside, it's an inside joke for our founding cohort, which they're gonna get a good kick out of this. Um, but you know, one of the things too, it's like just remembering when you're saying it's like I know who I am. That's that's one of the reasons why I I think a lot of people don't really know who they are, or you know, and I love this idea, you know, you we are stitched straight from the womb we are told who we are. It's like in your ancestry. I don't we don't need to go all woo-woo, but like you come out of the womb with everybody else's paradigms and you need to figure out who you are as you're going through this life. And that's really where energy is tied to your values. I think if if we're really thinking about it, like I know my values very strongly, so do you. You know, it's like I think energy is tied to your faith, energy is tied to your attitudes, energy is tied to your assumptions, energy is tied to your perceptions. I think there's a huge thing in the world where you assume you you don't ever really know anyone. You just know what they, what, what they um, how they show up and how they and how they're consistent in their energy. It's like, but it for you, it's like I would spend less time trying to figure someone else out and more time figuring me out.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

And that was my biggest lesson when instead of me thinking that, you know, I either, you know, needed to be this, this, or that in order to do the thing, I just realized, well, what what do I bring? What strengths do I bring? And what lights me up and what actually is true for me, that has been my greatest work. And I'd say more so in the last five years. Like I've really woken up to realize, like, okay, we have one shot at this life. Yeah. And it is ticking. And uh, I can, you know, like I don't, I'm not here to impress anybody. That isn't my job. But the way that like you can sometimes when you think about energy and you can think about perceptions you have of other people, it's like, what is your perception of yourself? What is your standard of yourself? What are the energy, what's the energy that you're looking to create? And I don't believe that energy is just like it's it's not just given, it's built. Like, like, like you have to build the energy. You're not gonna wake up every morning, it's not perfect every morning, but if you know its identity, like this is your identity. You're really good at that, Kyle. Like you, you know your identity, you you work on having that maintaining that emotion and that energy. And I think that that's a skill and it's a practice that everybody, when you think about self-leadership, we talk a lot about leadership. Self-leadership is practicing your consistency in your energy because you are the one that gets to, you know, uh Brandy Basard says, like, you're the power plant. You're either bringing the energy or you're depleting the energy.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Yeah. Uh there's I'm gonna use the word confidence too, because not in a negative, like, I'm arrogantly confident, but I lot I didn't have confidence in myself like super recently in one area of um my other business, one of my other businesses, where I hired someone to do something because I was like, they'll be better at it, they've got more experience, and I had them in that role because I I didn't have the confidence. Like most you may look at me and be like, oh, this guy's super confident, he's got the whole thing together. Why can't but this is like this goes back to last summer? Yeah, and there was a day where he was supposed to do his job and he wasn't there and said he wasn't gonna be, and I had to go and I had to do, I had to be that role that I didn't have the confidence in myself to bring the energy to fill that role. And it's come to light, you know, as I've moved through this business where people are like, You're the one who needs to be doing that because of the it's coming from you your heart. And when you hire someone to bring bring the energy, if it's not coming from their heart the same way it's coming from you, I I've developed this like perfect level of confidence now to go in and be that guy who's supposed to have that role that I didn't necessarily want. And this is selling product where it's working perfectly now because but it took three people saying to me, This is supposed to be you doing this. I want you here. Yeah, I don't want them. And I like that's another part, you know. I think that's just proof that this is another thing where you're always learning. And I, you know, have that confidence, I think is my advice.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Yeah, that's great. And and confidence is important too, because if you think about it, you said that it's it's learned. It's confidence is earned, confidence is and energy is too. Like, I don't believe that everyone has the same amount of energy, whether or not you were, you know, like I always think this when I think about energy management and I think about time management that I said earlier, that is a really important thing. I don't necessarily believe in time management because the one project could take me twice as long if my energy is terrible, or if I'm depleted, or I'm distracted, or I'm scrolling, or I'm, you know, consuming more than I am creating. That is a sign that you're depleted in your energy. When you are abandoning yourself, that's a great place to stop. Close your eyes or go put your feet in the grass or figure it out because you are depleted. And a lot of people, I believe, can avoid this desperate depletion by learning how to gauge your energy and learning how to manage it. That's in business, that's in leadership, that's in personal relationships. You know, I love it. And and you can see this in some, I don't know who it was, but like it's all over Instagram when people when couples will say, you know, I'm a I'm at a 30%, and the other couple will be like, I'm at a 50%, I'm gonna match, I'm gonna help you with that 20%. I'm gonna, I got you. Like, we got this. Like, go have a bath because I'm gonna go do this. And like that's really being able to own and know your energy. So give yourself an energy audit. Are you if you're at 30%, that's okay. Own that. And then what's it gonna take for you to get to 100%? What's it gonna take? Do you know how to get yourself to 100%? Like that is that's a skill of leaders that give themselves enough permission to say that.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

I'm gonna go back to my boy Angus Young from ACDC. Yes, tell us. There's two and a half hours that he has to bring that energy and he does it every time. Right. He lives his life outside of that two and a half hours as the quietest um version of himself so that he has the energy to bring during that two and a half hours. He's not, you know, there's no parties the night before a show. Yeah, there he doesn't drink at all. Yeah, um, he's very specific about where his energy goes and when.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Right. I love that you said that. And that's really looking at your time, it's auditing your schedule. It's you know, one of the things that's a really great practice, you know. You can and and this is I we'd love for you to do this and and and and let us know like what this looks like. But you can look at your schedule and now that you have intention behind it, you're gonna look at your schedule completely differently. But just put beside it an E or a D. So it either energizes me or it drains me, or whatever words you like that feel in alignment for you. For me, it's like this is energizing. The alternative is like, oh, it's a little draining. That could be a conversation with someone, that could be running into the same circle that you're just like, this isn't living me up. It could be, you know, you're not actually into the workout you're doing. So you avoid it. Oh, it's actually draining me. Okay, do you need to get out and go to a club and see humans? Like, that's important. You know, I look for a one time, I actually, as I was preparing for a retreat, I was like, I'm gonna go to a hot yoga class. Like, I actually want to be led. I lead a lot and I want to be led. So that was just something that I was like, that's interesting. And now I'm back to the point where my my little home workout, they're energizing me again because I was like, oh, it took a minute, I took a beat. You know, I just had to kind of figure it out. It doesn't mean you abandon everything, but like when you're looking at doing things, when you abandon yourself, that is the that is like the that is the most draining thing you can do for your energy. And it's an audit in that. So look through your calendar, look through your schedule, what is energizing, what is draining, and then you start to see where your time's going. You know, that's huge for an energy schedule.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

That E and that D and making that distinction is is evaluating. Yes. And that's um for me synonymous with just thinking. I think all the time. And when we were talking about, you know, what are we gonna talk about today? I I I think I said like, I don't think there's such a thing as overthinking. And you know, people will say, Oh, I overthought it, and that's why it got screwed up. But I I and I also you gotta you gotta give yourself permission to let thinking be working.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

When I'm thinking, I'm working. And it's not just because I'm sitting on a chair staring mindlessly at the TV, not paying attention to the show. I'm still thinking about what I could do evaluating to separate the E and get, you know, keep the E and get rid of the depletion, drain, anything that I don't want to do. And, you know, that's taken me here. Well, I go back to 25 years of learning. Right. So it's not something you can just do overnight, but like you can start thinking about it today and get rid of the drains and keep the energy.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

And that is exactly how you're gonna know, oh, this is the business for me, or this is the direction I want to go to.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

This is the person I want to work with.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Yes, this is it. This is what I want to join. This is where I want to go elevate my business. This is where I want to go. Oh, I think I want to go, you know, change that education direction. Like this is where it's like, you know, you're somebody I can learn from. Yes, absolutely. And and one of the things I like too, it's like on uh, and this is nothing just about females, but they're saying like the most successful entrepreneurs right now are women and men, but in their 40 45th year to 55, like that's the rise where, you know, and I don't know whether or not that we're going to perimenopause, but I don't know whether it's like menopause, you know, give, you don't stop caring about what other people think, but it's liberating when you can take that energy of like how much you put into consuming, you know, what like even if you're going and you think about this too, right? We build businesses, we support people in building businesses, we help them, right? Not just in coaching, but also in businesses. And they're the main, the main complaint or fear is being visible. Energy is visibility. And you can't build a business without visibility. And a lot of the times they're so worried about what Sally's gonna say from their mom's group or their or the you know, the the book club, where it's like they're not, they're too busy looking at their own life to be worried about your life. And you know, it's like I I witnessed somebody doing a a live and she was like walking through the airport. She's like, Look, no one's looking at me. Nobody's looking, no one's looking. You think everyone's looking, but no one's really looking. And it was just a whole point of like, you bring the energy. So if you feel nervous, you're gonna call that out that you're nervous. If you just feel confident and you're ready to go, that's what it's gonna be. But you have to comes back to that word. What's our favorite word on this podcast? It's decide. You have to decide that you're bringing the energy. You have to decide that you're all in on that, or you decide you're not. And that's freedom in itself, there too.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

I with revenue brand, I I thought I could build that business from behind my desk. Legs under the desk, yeah, hand on the mouse, typing. Right. And I learned um I'm fortunate in that I harnessed my energy the right way. Yeah, which you know, I said happened last summer. But when you can combine getting out into the world with bringing the right energy, right, that's how a business works. There's no secret you you anyone who's gonna make your business better than it is today, you haven't met yet. And if you keep that in mind, you gotta get out there. Yeah, and so harness your energy, perfect your energy, be and you know how I perfected my energy? I said it. Leaning into who I actually was. Yeah, not trying as soon as I try to make something what it wasn't, I'm wasting time and it's artificial and people can tell. Yeah. And so you master that and you get out into the world, you're meeting the people you need to meet. The texts in your top 10 texts, those names are changing because one year to the next, you're meeting the new people, they match your energy. And I think that's what's happening here with you and I is like you bring the energy and I bring the energy. It's infectious, contagious. You make me level up, I make you level up. Absolutely. And then that's that's like unstoppable. Right. Like who could get in the way of that?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Nobody. Right. And that's a great question. Is like, are you in are you in circles or in partnerships or in careers that are leveling you up? Are you growing? You know, we were working with an incredible company, and that was one of the things is like I'm they were looking for a coach that was gonna match their level of learning and discernment and growth. And I was like, we are the people for this job. That's right, right? Because we can bring that into your corporation. We can bring that because we're doing it. We are literally doing that.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

If you're coaching 25 people and not all 25 of them want to get on the call with that coach, there's a problem.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

100%.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

You know, you even if 20 of them, but if there's five who are still like, I don't know, this isn't my this isn't really working, then that's not gonna work. Yeah, and like I think that's the best thing that you bring to that client is they're they all want to get on the call. And like that's the easiest way to think about your own energies like, is this cool in the first 30 seconds? Can you tell the person you're interacting with wants to continue?

SPEAKER_00 22:01

And wants to be there. I think that that's really important. And one of the things as well, when you think about energy, you think about attitude, it's like, how are you giving attention? You know, I shared this with Kyle. And again, I was at an event and I remember purchasing a book. And I was like, oh, I want to support this new author. And I went up and I literally was like, I'm I got your book. Congratulations. And it was this, thanks. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna just, well, okay, I'm just gonna walk walk away now. Like, and I didn't, I didn't, and I was okay. Like, I my ego wasn't bruised. I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

He was good at this, I would have gone straight vindictive if you saw it.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Yeah, and he would have straight vindictive and returned the book and got the$20 back reimbursed, but straight vindictive, dead to me.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

I'll show you how to write the book.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Right? But I was like, okay. I could be like, oh, judgy. And I was like, nope. I was like, you know what? It's okay. Like, I am kind of, yeah, drain. I'm kind of a nobody to them. Like, that's okay. I don't need to be. But to me, I'm like, what a lesson. Everyone, like, everyone deserves energy of like, not everyone. I don't mean that because that sounds like so that maybe that's too airy fairy. But like when someone's invested in something and they're like, to me, it's like it's our responsibility to be like, thank you for investing in me. I want to invest in you back. Even for even imagine that same 30 seconds of energy. 30 seconds. That's all it takes. Look in the eye. Thank you. Message me. I want to know what you think. That's it. And then and you move on. And hey, I've got to run. But it's like that energy is also how you hold yourself and it's how you view yourself and how you view others. Are you above others? Are you, do you think that you're better? Do you, you know, and sometimes people are maybe just a little bit shy and it comes across that they're rude and they're not.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Can I give you the ultimate quote to like completely summarize this? Yes, tell me that. Everyone uses is never meet your heroes, right? Because they're probably gonna disappoint you. They're not gonna the same energy that you think you know, you're fanboying, fangirling this person for 25 years and they're gonna blow this for you because you're gonna catch them on the wrong time, or they're not as nice. They don't bring the positive energy you think they should. Do you know who didn't do that when I met him for the first time? My hero, Angus. He gave me two hours at a bar and had lunch with me, and he what he's the real deal. And that's the energy that he's he appreciates. This is what I mean. He's I've talked about how niche this example is of someone I would look up to, but he brings it on every level. And I met my hero, and he continued to set an example for me through that interaction.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

And I was a punk, I was just turned 20.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Oh, that's amazing. But that's a mentor. That's mentorship, and that's leading by example. Leading by example, and you know, I don't have time this time, but I've got time this time. And it's like you're important to me, your voice matters.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Like, that is so there's a way around it without being an absolute dick.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Totally. There always is. Yeah, 100%. I think that that's so important. The other thing I wanted to really talk about too is that again, it's like that time management piece, and I want to weave that in. It's like, what does that feel like when you think about time management? Right. To me, time management is like you're in a box. You're like, let's put your in a box and you manage your time and you time blocked. And I'm like, that does not work for me. Because it like for me, it's like, and I used to be really rigid. I used to be really rigid. Well, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Nine o'clock, ten o'clock, eleven o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Yeah, let me tell you this. So it's like, I remember, you know, okay, I forever woke up at 5 a.m. I would journal, I would do the things, I was in this routine, I was in this ritual, and I was all these things. And then I remember it was like a pretty traumatic event that happened for us and our family, and everything's safe and Jamie's fine and he's alive. But I had to, I remembered trying to like fit myself back into my old life after a huge capital tree T incident happened. And I share this with you, anyone who's listening, because I think sometimes we just try to go back to who we were after it could be, it could doesn't even need to be something that's like a big trauma. It could just be like a riff in a friendship or something, some something that changes you who you are. And my best advice for that is like if you've had and gone through like maybe it's a job loss, maybe it's a relationship loss, maybe it's something that's all radically altered your life. Trying to fit yourself back into old rhythms and habits that don't match where you're going will always keep you in past pattern. And part of my energy had to give myself permission. Like it took me almost five years to fall, yep, five years to fall back in love with feeling safe enough that it's okay. Like this is this is good because I was so structured that I was almost too rigid. So if I didn't do that, I failed. And then what happened was I was introduced to this concept called psychological flexibility and it changed my life. It literally, so like literally research that it's called psychological flexibility and it gives you the permission to not be so rigid. I knew I was gonna move my body because that's really important to me, but that could look like a walk. That could look like walking my dogs, that could look like a yoga class, that could, whereas it didn't need to just be this hard, heavy, this like where you're draining the energy, your body that's trying to work so hard to like keep you alive, you know? And I and that was really powerful for me. I was like, cool. I was like, okay, so oh, I'm not failing that I didn't wake up at 5 a.m. No, I'm honoring my body. I'm waking up at 6 45, I'm having a coffee, I'm enjoying this, I'm gonna have an amazing conversation with my husband for 10 minutes. I'm gonna be there for my kids. That to me fuels my energy. Yeah, but if I was thinking about it from like, oh, I failed, I didn't get my workout done, I'm not productive, I'm an entrepreneur. So if I don't have that time freedom, well, what do I have? And that was a hard reframe for me from thinking, and that was I remember we were chatting in one of the other episodes, like coming off the corporate world, now you have all this time in the world. What do you do with it? And we can easily make up stories of I'm not, I'm not using this time appropriately. My question to you is are you using your energy appropriately?

SPEAKER_02 28:29

It's easy to look at someone and say, hey, they're successful, they hustle all the time, but what you're not seeing is the time that they take as downtime when the energy gets turned off. And you have to give yourself permission to do that. And I I love a day where I'm like, I got nothing. Yeah. This is killer.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

And you know what's so I'm so grateful we're talking about this because I think that's a high quality of really great executive leadership. And we will talk about this in this podcast. You're gonna hear that. And and rest and intentional recovery is a part of that. I remember when I used to like scoff at people that could watch episodes.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

I'm like, binge, binge, watch TV.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

Yeah, like I was above that. And again, I apologize because I know I taught that at some point. And again, you only know as much as you've learned, and that's what I was learning.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

That's big.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Yeah. Like, gosh, I'm like, I don't know everything, but I knew that at that time, and it was really working for me at that time. But now I'm like, oh, I'm in a season where I enjoy being able to, you know, watch younger, for example.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

It's a good episode where she's like season six. I'm in season two.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

And I'm like, she's 40, dating a 26-year-old. Like, I'm like, this is crazy. But it's like I don't know that show. No, it's no, it's fun. It's just not and um well, who's the who's the one? Hillary Duff is in it. She's amazing. It's good, they're millennials, it's amazing. It's like fun. So it's like, oh, that's you've given yourself permission to enjoy that. And it's like, but it I'm in a season where that I want, I love that now. And it's like fun. And you know, like we're not gonna go and talk about heated rivalry, but it's like, you know, like there's it's it's like, are you giving yourself permission? And here's the catch that I found because I I have an addictive personality. I could work all day long. I am a you know this.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

Uh yeah. What do you mean you could?

SPEAKER_00 30:17

I okay, and so like I'm like, I have an idea.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

It's like, okay, that's fine. Good morning, good morning, Kyle and Tiff. I'm sorry that you're both listening to this message, but um, I just right, because it's like but it's like, please don't listen now.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

But anyway, my point to that is like I also know that the same could be true for like reading a great book, and it could be like nine hours. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So I had to learn, hey, you don't need to be so extreme. Right. How do you set a time? Okay, so I'm gonna watch two episodes, right? I used to only love watching movies, for example. And I share this because that's a way to manage energy, because too much of anything can drain you too.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

And then you're like, I'm one with the coat couch or the scroll. Yeah. You know, sometimes I like throw my phone across the room because I'm like, oh, and I jerk myself out of this like coma that you get in because we can become hypnotized by the distraction. We have to be able to become a master of intention. That's the change.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

I gotta be able to catch it. That might be the last one, but I said thinking is working. Like you so when I'm when I'm not bringing the energy and I take that time to myself, yeah, I'm thinking about business. Yeah. I'm thinking about what can make things better, either for me or one of my clients. But I'm also thinking I know how good it's gonna be when I bring the energy back the next time. That's great. And I can just take be peaceful with the day that I've given myself to do the quiet work because I know once I bring it again, I'm gonna bring it like I did I haven't yet before, which is like I take pride in that.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

You mentioned something really important as an entrepreneur. Like, I do not think we talk enough about quiet work.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

This should be a whole episode because it's the most important.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

I do not think we talk enough about sleep. I don't think we talk enough about silence. Yeah, I don't think we talk enough about having a pen and a paper with no phone around you and actually just letting yourself think without Chat GPT. Love it, but it's like, who are you? What what are you allowing to let flow? That's energy too, right? That's energy too. One of our favor, I mean, we'll we'll dive into this, but like we have a really fun exercise we do with our the clients we coach. Um, and that what we do to plan our own things that involve just us actually being in flow. Like, what does flow feel like for you when you're like actually letting, you know, and I'm trying to train for I am okay, reframe. I am training for a half marathon, and I still am waiting for that runner's flow to come back. You know, the runner, you are a runner. It's like that runner's high when you're just running and you're like, I'm a gazelle. I can do that.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

So well, there's that one day where you're suddenly a runner and you're like, you're not out of breath.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Yeah, I'm excited for that day. So we're gonna talk about that on the podcast when I'm that day, but like right now, I'm like, this is very hard. But I'm like, it's fun because it gives me energy to know I just did something that was hard.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Oh, like you know, just raise the best example because on a run, you are expelling all of the energy you think you have, but the irony of doing that is you feel energized when it's over. Is that the best comparison to putting the invincible into work? Yes, is like it gives you more energy right when at the moment you think you've run out.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Right. And and I I I remember too, I I had like put my little face to my camera and I think my face was frozen, like my jaw was frozen. I'm pretty sure I was like snotty, I had tears running out of my eyes. I was like, this is so hard, but I'm gonna be proud of that. And at some point, this won't be hard. But those are the reps, and that's energy. Like, what are you allowing to, what are you saying? Even energy comes from the thoughts you say. It comes from what you're telling yourself, it comes from what you're determining to be hard or horrible or this, or you're like, hey, this is gonna be really fun. Like, I'm, you know, all of our students, for example, in Lumina, right? That it's like a new challenge for them to be like, all right, I'm gonna get my reps in. I'm gonna, I'm gonna coach a hundred hours of these amazing future clients. We you can look at that as like, how am I ever gonna do that? Or you can be like, what a gift. That brings you energy. The the that is not you, you know, faking your way through life. That's choosing intentionally. You're deciding, no, I'm this isn't gonna suck for me today. And, you know, I saw this as well, this reel, and I think it's really applicable. And I sent it to my sister who's got a one-year-old and a three-year-old. And, you know, we have older kids, like we got teenagers, like it's a different era. And, you know, I remember when our kids were really little and everything was an emergency. Everything. And it was like, got your boots on, like, you know, and it wasn't always, but then I saw this real and it was like, I'm not, I'm not being chased by a lion.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Hey, let's get our boots on. Who can put them on first? Yeah. And the minute you check yourself, and I've learned that as I've grown, and I've learned that, you know, like I was a fairly young mom and I didn't have a mom growing up. I didn't have that model to what a safe, healthy, motherly relationship was. So I was kind of learning that as I was parenting my kids. I'm every day, I'm like, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

That's running a business. Yeah. Learning as you go.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Learning as you go.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

So, like, you know, business of motherhood. That's it. There's a book.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

And the fatherhood. Like, you were did not you were given a baby, and we were supposed to keep that thing alive.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Like, there wasn't a manual. It was like, good luck, and I hope you can breastfeed, but it hurts so careful.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Like, it's like you're not giving so but your energy, like you learn, and if you can just have compassion and love and this awareness of like, I get to choose how I show up. I can either, I can either be calm and I love this idea, and I use that that like I learned this when my kids were like four and five, and I'm so grateful, but I would just put on this lens. I used to physically pretend I was putting on glasses, and I was like, these are a lens of love. And that may sound like, okay, some of you might be rolling your eyes right now, and I don't care. Lens of love. Let me write this. It's saved. It's it saved me. Okay. Because I was like, I didn't get that. I didn't have this loving. It was like it was it, I so I was like, I was like, okay, I'm loving. So I had to put on my glasses, and then I was like, Oh, I'm changing your energy that your brain is changed my energy. I love you. I love you. I'm not against you to do this. Yeah, I'm not against you. Like, okay, and Jamie, like, God bless, like he's sometimes, you know, because you have to learn that I'm not against you. We're in this together, lens of love, and then you change your energy.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

And it's like, and then why do I feel like that was used against Jamie on occasion? Lens of love. I hear where you're going. Lens of love. I get to do what I want.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Is this helpful? Is this hopeful? Is this healing?

SPEAKER_00 37:10

And we'll like, sorry, is this helpful? Is this hopeful? Is this healing? But it's helpful, that's helpful energy because then you're starting to think, oh, how am I showing up?

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

And that was a John Maxwellism, actually. The helpful, hopeful healing was from John Maxwell.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

Can I like bookend this like in what I think is gonna be a powerful way? Yeah, please. This is called Legacy Live. Yeah. Probably how many I don't know how many episodes this is gonna go. Hopefully, it's into the hundreds. Yeah, thousands. One of them is exploring what legacy means. And I think I want mine to be remember the energy that he brought to every time I got to be around him. I love that. That is what legacy means to me.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

That is so beautiful. What is the energy that you got to bring when you're around them? That is powerful.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

That's what everyone will remember. They won't remember, you know, exactly what I said, or exactly what I was wearing, or how many followers I had. They'll remember the energy that I brought.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

And how you made them feel in that idea. Yeah, it's like this beautiful, rare, you know, it's like it's because it's from you. Yeah. And everybody's energy is rare because it's from them. And this gives you permission to explore that. Right.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

You know, and what's so what's so good luck copying it because it's mine.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Amen. And and isn't that so that like comes back down to that healthy comparison is like, why are we trying to be like someone else's energy when you can be your own energy? And what an what a gift you've just given everybody listening and everybody watching is like, what do you want your legacy to be? And what's that gonna feel like? What's that gonna look like? And what's your energy?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Decide today.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Yeah, beautiful.