Direction Starts With You (Episode 8)

You don’t find direction. You decide it.

In this episode, Kyle Hosick and Kim Fitzpatrick break down the truth most people avoid...waiting for clarity is what keeps you stuck. Direction is not something you discover. It is something you create through action, ownership, and the standards you hold yourself to.

When you stop looking outward and start leading yourself, everything changes.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We're back with another episode of Legacy Live. I'm your host, Kyle Hossick.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

And I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

And today we're diving into what has actually become one of our Illumina Legacy frameworks in what we teach our students, but with broader strokes, we're talking about identity.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Talking about clarity, and we're putting it right into a framework for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Okay, Kim, so identity, clarity, and frameworks. Yes. Is this gonna be challenged? This sounds like I'm gonna learn something. Is it gonna be against my will or are we gonna love this?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Uh I think I'm gonna love this. And it may be again. Well, anytime.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

We put the framework clean, and I've come to come to really like that about it.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Oh, I thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Because I think I'm like too loose for framework.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

I I love a good framework. And I feel like what it does is it gives you a little bit of this like, it's like a magnet, right? It's just like, okay, I'm gonna, this is gonna see what's gonna stick, and I'm gonna pull this together, and this is what I'm gonna see. So we are talking today about the clarity compass. And really, this was inspired by, you know, firstly, I have a true and tremendous passion for the clearer you are, the more that you'll know yourself, or you'll have the ability to be aware of what's going on. So that's really where that whole the clarity, know thyself. And really, it's it's just knowing who you are and who you want to be and knowing yourself is your filter.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

And understanding your identity.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Yeah. And the why we brought in the compass, I actually have a compass tattoo. And really, that was kind of some of the underpinning because compass and maps and all the frameworks that we've really built in from a coaching methodology, it's helping you figure that path out, not just for the client that you're coaching, but for thyself. And that's really when you can really only become that best coach or that best version of yourself when you're willing to meet yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

That's right. Yeah. I I said on an earlier episode, like my identity, I thought I had it on lock. Like way too early. High school. I'm like, yes, I can't believe I figured this all out so early, and it changed so many times through time that I I really think that's you've got to recognize that that's possible. Identity isn't just a fixed thing, and learning a new skill became part of a future identity, and then compounding with another skill, and then choosing to be a different identity can happen. We talked about orbits before, and identity can mean a lot of things. What does it mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Well, you know, one of the things before I dive into what identity means to me, it I was making me think about when you told me the story about your first job.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Like with your cassette tapes, and like even just going in on the like that was not my identity when I was in my teenage years.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

And I like when you're saying the changes, I think that's an important story to kind of share. I would love to share that.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

So yeah, like in episode one, I said like the foundations of me developing into being an entrepreneur started at my first job, and I like glossed over the whole real story of me developing into an entrepreneur. Like in high school, I had a band, we decided to record a tape, so we were entrepreneurs. We had a product, me and one of my friends, Morgan Clamp. Hey, buddy. Um, and every, you know, pushing into greater orbits and and keeping that momentum, which we've talked about before, I took the tapes to a store in Oakville and I said, Will you carry my tapes? Would you sell them here? And then I'll come back next weekend. I did it with another store in Toronto. I was constantly, I mentioned backpack guy before. I was cardboard box guy through high school, like a drug dealer, but I had cassette tapes in a cardboard box. And that, like, I can I I said to you the next day, I can't believe I glossed over the true foundations of my identity as an entrepreneur. Right. Like, but I just forgot about it because it was I thought it was a different identity, but it's the thread that's been through my whole existence. And I one day I'm gonna bring them in. I still have like those paper, like where it'd be a yellow piece of paper and the white, where the a guy at HMV in Toronto would be like bodies, cassettes, 10 at 9.99, and then the next weekend I would take the GoTrain, I would replenish the tapes, and I collect the money. And that was when I was 17 and 18 years old.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

That's so that and see, that's where this all is the intersection. I love how you said it's the stitching, and that's really where we brought up with the compass, right? We the north is really your north star, right? Knowing yourself, and that's why I wanted you to share that identity story because you've been and you've been an entrepreneur for so long.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah, because that was not consciously done. That was I just had a passion and we were good. Like, and people bought our tapes. Like it's one thing if you have the tapes, but if people want them, that's really cool. That inspired me to be like, oh, we can sell these and we could sell them in a different city, and we played all over. It was so fun.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

That is so neat. And that's what what it comes back down to too. It's like really knowing who knowing who you are, knowing what you want. And we, you know, that's where we sat on the compass. It's like, so if north is the the know thyself, if you know, south is your is your strengths, if east is your excitement and what really lights you up, if west is what's your willingness, like what you think west is my favorite of all of them.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Like, because I think I'm pretty good now with north. Like I know what's going on, I've seen all the changes in my identity, but like that W willingness, like what am I willing to do to make everything better? That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

It is, and and what will be so interesting is to see where you where you orbit around, like whether you live in the north right now, because you're really trying to figure out who you are. Like, who am I really? What am I without the titles? What am I pretending not to know about myself? Like, what does that look like? And one of the things I love is like if you don't know who you are, you all you will manifest who you've always been told to be.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Totally.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

You know, you have. You'll you'll manifest who you've been told to be. There were things that I was told when I was growing up that I would never even had the confidence that you had, right? I remember, I remembered that's a shame. Yeah, absolutely. And then I remembered needing to prove my worth, right? Okay, I'm gonna come out of college, I'm gonna get the best job, I'm gonna try and get, I'm gonna work my way up that ladder. And I had so many different name badges. Like I was, I was in a camp counselor when I was like 13. I was working from multiple jobs when I was the best camp counselor. I love being a camp counselor. That's what I want to do now. I'm like, we're camp counseling.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Except I think that's a real where you were scaring Jamie this week. A scare thing. That's not good campaign.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

I mean, I like I it's fun. It's like getting a letter from me. It's just like fun, but but I loved that idea of like who did I want to be, right? So I had so many name tags. I had so many, I loved being an employee. I didn't know that being an entrepreneur was an option. That wasn't what I was taught. That wasn't what I was. So if you don't know who you are, you'll manifest who you've been told to be. I I am a great example of that. We have some pretty cool stories that one day we'll share about our.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Well, can I say one more thing about this whole cassette tape and band thing? Is that was my identity. It was my identity from grade 11, I'm gonna say grade 10, till probably second year of university, and then that identity was stripped away from you. The band fell apart. And like, I didn't know we would lind up here when we started talking about this, but like it's okay to lose your identity for a bit. And that happened, and I was devastated. Yeah, and I was that's like I think I went into depression, as I recall, because I was without an identity and I had to find a new one, and it's okay to spend whatever time it takes to bounce between those two points on your timeline.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

You know, one of the things I love about the framework of the Clarity Compass, and this is how we work a lot with the the clients that we coach or the learn the students that are learning these frameworks, is like at some point you might be in any aspect of the compass. Like you might be like, I I went through something, you know, a year and a half ago where a beautiful big business was actually just completely removed. And that I had to work on my identity. I was that's what I I had so much of that wrapped up into my identity. It wrapped up into my routines and my habits and how I led myself because that was how I was, you know, building a beautiful business, but also supporting an incredible community. And well, I'm really proud of who I've become in the process of losing something that meant so much to me because it just gets to iterate a little bit differently. And I didn't, I thought, well, now I get this clean slate. Who do I want to be? What do I want to build?

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Did you know more about yourself because of the age that that was taken away from you? Totally. Because I think that's where I really struggled, is I thought I was clear for the rest of my life in that identity. Right. And I was too young to understand that things are gonna happen that are you don't necessarily like.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

And the other thing I think is that I was actually re like I was ready for something different. I was ready for something more. Awesome. And that so it made it easier. I had already been doing coach training for three years prior to that happening. Like I was already, I my my path was already really clear. I was already hosting masterminds, I was already doing all these things outside in an alignment and tandem, but I was already exploring that other side. And what I was pretending to not know was is this gonna come to an end at some point? And and and it just kind of was decided for me rather than me deciding it. So the reason why I think this is such an important conversation and dialogue for any of you listening, it's like at any point in time, you may feel I don't know myself. And where I went to come back, what I had to come back to is the East. What excites me? What lights me up? Because not what's strategic. Like a lot of us can think this is strategy, but if you're just looking at strategies and systems and you're not going on like gut, you know, like I love running my international retreats where they all do call me the camp counselor because I'm I love being in the trees. I like I'm meant to be a good one. That's a part of your identity.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah, you can't hide.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

No, I'm meant to be, I'm a cottager. I love wakeboarding, I love snowboarding, like I'm I love all the I love all those things. That's a part of who I was. And if I'm honest with you, in the part of building, I let a lot of those go. Because, you know, or it's like now my running journey. I'm excited to be like I am a runner. I used to run in the woods with all the people. What am I willing to do? I'm that, but that's what it comes down to. And this is where this framework starts to be like, okay, I hey, I'm a little cloudy in the north, right? What am I pretending not to know? What are parts of me that are willing to come forward? What's the gift only I, what's the gift only you can bring? Yeah. These are some beautiful questions because clarity is not soft. It's not soft. I think people think, oh, there's clarity goes like the darkness.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Yeah, people with people are the darkness over here is like there she goes.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Her clarity is so soft, but I think it's the most strategic move you'll make, you know, and because it gives you it's the difference between it's the difference between building something that feeds you and building something that drains you.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

That's and comes back to frameworks is the framework is not just at the time it was being developed. Yeah, it was like our students will use this for their coaching clients.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah, to navigate the story, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:32

To navigate the story, but it's turned to mean a different thing where I'm like, oh, we can I can use this.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

We use this, yeah. And as coaches, we're meant to be, and I even as teachers and faculty, we are meant to get that.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

It's crucial.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

It's crucial. And then the other part of it is strengths, right? Which is the identity. And it's like, again, no amount of strategy can outwork a nervous system or a self-image that's not ready to hold more. Like if you don't, and what do I mean by that, right? It's like your self-image of yourself. Like when I hear your stories about where you were at in your when you were 17 and 18, I was like, just I was just trying to figure out my like, I was trying to figure out where am I gonna land. You know, I kind of had an idea, a little bit of what I wanted to do, you know, but I wasn't certainly wasn't clear and et cetera. And I remember even too when I the whole idea of being entrepreneur, like I was only ever introduced to entrepreneurship when I ended up marrying and meeting my my husband because he was running Birkenfits. And I didn't even know how to spell the word entrepreneur for many years because I put you on the spot, Norm. No, no, but I no, and we don't do that, Martian. But we genius. Yeah. But we I that intimidated me only because, again, it comes back down to if you don't know who you are, you will manifest who you've been told to be. I was always told I'm an employee and I loved being an employee. And there might be some of you that are watching this being like, I love being an employee, I love being in an organization, and that is phenomenal, especially if you know that. But for some of you, like myself, where I was starting to be like, is this what I still want to do? I I actually was an entrepreneur. I didn't realize that. I I you can change your orbit, you can change your title, you can change your trajectory. And the more you know yourself, the more that you're able to do that. And then it, you know, that's that's the thing. I think like the excitement is fuel. And if you've got magnetic energy about something that you love, you're gonna lock in on that, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Um, can I talk about strengths again? Yeah. Um I'm gonna use another uh analogy here. Strengths to a lot of people, and I think at one point, even to me, you know, when you play a video game and they give you like 10 points to assign to your character, you can like be a warrior and you can put four points there, and you can put two points on dexterity, but then you run out of the point. Right. I think I looked at strengths as something you had that you were born with, and they're fixed through your life. And I want everyone to consider you can change your strengths at any point. Yes, you can not only reassign the points, you can give five to dexterity, and you're not limited by ten. They're unlimited, right? And that is synonymous with skills. So I'm coming out of this band identity where I thought my life is over. This is all I know how to do. All my strengths are now irrelevant and useless. But I learn new skills that open the door to starting a new business. And so I don't know that this is the solution I'm offering, but like just keep bettering yourself and learn something new every day. And there's no way you're traveling backwards ever when you've identified your strengths, put more points where you can, whether it's dexterity, running, entrepreneurship, retreats. Like you've got all of those points are unlimited. And I love looking at the strengths part of the clarity compass for that reason to be like, where could I like level up right now? And what am I willing to do to make that happen?

SPEAKER_01 15:11

And I think one of the things too with strengths as you were talking and skills, it's also about knowing who you need to be in order to achieve all those things. So it's like when I think about strengths, it's like it's even about your executive presence. It's like how you show up each day, how you dress, how you act, how you respond, how you how you leave other people feeling, right? All of those things is like that's the transformation in self. And when you have, when you when I talk, when we talk about self-image or we talk about strengths or we talk about skills, well, self-image is really what you're actually thinking about yourself when no one else is around. It's like, how do I really hold myself? What do I believe? And I agree with you completely. You can change your strengths, you can improve your strengths, you can enhance and and love yourself more, but you might need to start with liking yourself first. So what's one thing you like before you can move right into love? And that's that's not, you know, what I like about that is it doesn't it, there's a this isn't like some hokey pokey, you're now gonna have all these strengths. If you can't distill any strengths, that's where you start. Right. And is any of your are any of your weaknesses an opportunity?

SPEAKER_00 16:16

You know the craziest thing is we are we before we start these podcasts, we kind of put an episode on a on a wipe erase board in here, and we think it's gonna go one way, but now we're that we're this many episodes deep into doing this. There are through lines from one episode to the next. And I think what we're hopefully establishing is like all the pieces are here in front of you for the best business, the best life, the best picture of yourself, and the best legacy. We always come back to legacy, and it turns out the clarity compass is like proving to be part of like analyzing what legacy looks like, and that's so cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

I think it's so neat. I want to share a story.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

I need to get this button undone because I need to show the compass, but okay, this is what I'm gonna take your time. Take your time. I'm gonna get to here. We're gonna cut right. Oh, and I got it, I got it. Okay, so we're gonna take off my trusty Apple Watch. It's always on. Steps are important to me. Okay, so one of the things that's so important to me, and we talk about the strengths and we talk about the West of the willing, and we love to live in the West. Like we really are. I would say that as like founders, we we are always what what are we willing to do?

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Yeah, I can make that happen. I will be there. I'm willing to do that.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Yeah, I'm willing to do that, right? It's not manifestation, also isn't just about calling things in, it's about being the person and who you become in the process. And it whether it be manifestation or action or entrepreneurship or any of those things, you have to become in the process. So I have a story about this this um tattoo, and I think it just kind of shares a little bit more about me. So when I first got this tattoo, I and I love Reiki and I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

What year is this?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

So this was in like 2020.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

2018, 2017. 2017, I got this tattoo. And and I love Reiki, and I I really enjoy going to Reiki. I think it's a very neat, neat time, and I love connecting with my with my mom. She's passed away. Um, but I believe in that. I believe that I can talk to her and she's around and this is good. For some of you, you're gonna be like, you are crazy, and I'm okay because I want to tell this story. So I I this was all covered because when you get a tattoo, you're fully covered. No one can see this.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Oh, so the tattoo is fresh.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Tattoo is fresh, brand new. I just go to the band-aid is on. No one can see where the south, the west, you know, the the north or the the east is, right? Um, so it's all bandaged. I jump in the bed, I get tucked in like a taco because this is amazing. And this is part of the Reiki experience at this session. You're so cozy. And all of a sudden, I get asked, like halfway through it or whatever, my my Reiki master, who's incredible, Renata, give a little shout out to her. Um, she said, You're, you know, your mom's coming through, and she just asked a question. Um, Am I South or am I West? And at that point, I was like, What? Like, what what could she be? What is she talking about? Like what? Because my the name mother is on a line between the south and the west. And part of when we were building this clarity compass out, it was this question that it kept coming up for me about, and I said to her, and I kind of whispered with a lump in my throat, I'm like, Oh, you're on the line of the West. And she said, good, because I'm always with you when the sun sets. And the question I have for you is, what are you willing to do before the sun sets each day? And if you can just remember that through line that you have choice and you have autonomy, and it stuck with me for years. Like, what are you willing to do? Because a lot of people don't have the choice that you have right now to go change your life, to go be that person, to go just go for it and be audacious and be fearful and run towards it. But it's like that through line, I look at it every single day, and it reminds me of what am I willing to do with for one person that literally gave her life for me, you know, and left me here to live. What am I willing to do? What am I willing to take an edge on? Yeah, it's a responsibility to get to know who you are. You will only ever meet someone as far as you've met yourself. And are you willing to do that work?

SPEAKER_00 20:18

And you said end of the day. A lot of people, I think, think identity is a months and years thing, but it gets made super easy if you take it one day at a time.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

One day at a time.