CLICK! Bask In The Now (Episode 10)

If you are always chasing the next moment, eventually you stop living in the one you are in.

In this episode, Kyle Hosick and Kim Fitzpatrick explore the idea of deferring happiness, and what happens when life becomes a constant pursuit of what is next.

Inspired by the film Click, this conversation looks at the pressure to optimize everything, move faster, achieve more, and stay focused on the future, while quietly missing the moments that actually make life meaningful.

Most people think fulfillment lives somewhere ahead of them.

But the people who enjoy life the most are often the ones who learn how to be present while they are building it.

Because success means very little if you fast-forwarded through the parts that mattered to get there.

Send us your thoughts on this episode!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We are back with another episode of Legacy Live. I'm your host, Kyle Hostik.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Today's episode is called Click, and we're glad you did. Okay, Click. Why would why did I bring up Click?

SPEAKER_00 0:24

I I'm exc okay. So firstly, I am so pumped about this topic. And two things came up for me. So number one, it was all about basking in the now.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

And also the movie that Adam Sandler started called Click. And you really got us. I love Kyle will come with like, have you watched this movie or we I'm like was from 1990s? When was it pretty?

SPEAKER_01 0:48

2005, 6, 7, somewhere in there. Oh Jesus, no. Okay. Anyway, and we're back.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

And we're back. I love that. But it's so it really is about, you know, basking in the now. And the reason why this resonated with me so much and click, even that word click. I'm like, oh no, it was so relevant today as a word. And it's sticky, right? It's sticky. It's like at any point you can click back into your life. You know, that term lock-in is so important. But the intention of today is really to remind you and to remind us and remind everyone that's listening or maybe watching. It's like you're in the good old days right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

So let's talk about the movie because there may be some listeners going, I have no idea what that movie is.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I didn't either.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Welcome to Kyle's topic. No, it's the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

It's it's a good one. Like I it's gonna work out in the end. It's gonna be stick with us. Um there's the movie is super stupid at the beginning and becomes super impactful and relevant by the end. There's like he gets a remote control for a TV from Christopher Walken, who works in a back room at Bed Bath and beyond. Okay, like it's if you've made it through that part of the movie, you know the these great moments I'm talking about. But what that remote control allows Adam Sandler to do in the movie is quickly fast forward through the mundane parts of his life. So he doesn't want to take his kid to the dentist. Why not you grab that remote control, zip forward two hours, and you you're in his mind, he's making things better by skipping those moments. And Kim mentioned Bask in the Now, and whether this is your life inside your family or your life inside your business, that movie is the perfect sort of story arc for getting used to enjoying what may seem like the small things to you today, and not fast-forwarding over them because they're truly you said these are the good old days. That's the quote I like most that we have written on the board is it's like today is what it's all about.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Yeah. Today's today is all you have. And it's like, and the I think one of the things that's the most freeing about that is, you know, there, and I don't know that you've ever experienced someone who's like, this is the way I am, I am the way I am, and you're like, um, that is very 1980s and very 1990s, because we're now in a different century, and it isn't about this is who I am, it is who you choose to be. And today is a decision that you can make to either change something, keep something, or go forward on something. And I like that. I like the ability that at any point in time you can be like, am I present in this life or am I deferring everything?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

That's the key for me.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Am I present or am I deferring?

SPEAKER_01 3:43

In business, like I'm guilty of this myself, where I can see the end point and I treat the end point like the moment I would start enjoying. Like if I could just get to there where I've sold the company and I've got the 10 million bucks that's gonna, I think, open this door or make me feel this way, or make things better in this way, this way, and this way. I don't know whether they will, but I have this belief that once that day comes, I will have found true happiness. But the basking in the now is like, shut up, stop, take a look around you and appreciate what today has brought, what it means, what you get to do, not what you have to do. And it's that like take the scowl off your face and look around you and smile and go, why would I ever use a remote control to fast forward through this when I'm learning things, I'm speaking to new people, I'm exposing myself to different things. It's so important to remember to just sit and enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

And you know, it's interesting because I have a an experience. I remember vividly we were on a vacation, our kids were super little. I was looking at my my sister's um, you know, now ex-husband, but I said, Um, oh, we were on a trip, physically, on a trip on the beach. And I said, Oh my gosh, I can't wait for Christmas. And I was like, I caught that was the first time that I had caught myself uh wishing something forward and not being there. And that was the big awareness where I was like, oh my gosh, what did I just do? Because I had spent a lot of my life doing that, right? Okay, well, so when I get through this week, uh, then I'll be happy. When, okay, so when, and I I'm telling you, like I've had really full weeks, and I'm gonna say that till I die because we're so passionate about what we do. It doesn't feel like work, right? But it did at some point, there was this place where there was this dissonance or this deferral of joy. I can when I get to the war. It is, but I think it's an important conversation, and we have to pull it to the light because the more you can name it, the more you tame it. Yeah. And what I mean by that is like, okay, I'm bypassing joy because I'm stressed and things are heavy and things are hard. I remember walking out this morning and there were I walked out into my um where I work out and there was lacrosse gear and by a cold all of Colby's stuff had come out of the car and just like barfed on the floor.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

And I Well, you just gotta air it out. You don't want that trapped in the bag.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

You don't want that trapped in the bag. But I literally, so my our son is going to away to school next year, and all I thought was, and I videoed it, and I think makes me emotional because I was like, oh, I don't want this to stop. Yeah, like I'm almost this is gonna be not my life, and I I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this moment at this today, this day, and this all this stuff out because this won't be here. And I've already wasted a lot of that time because you know, like I just thought we had the luxury of it and we don't. Like we don't have the luxury of that, and uh, but we have the luxury of today, and we have the luxury of redefining what is good and what the moments are, right? Like we've we we are in a build, we're in the biggest build of our of literally our lives in three different businesses, and like you know, it's easy to hold your breath for the moment where you you're only thinking.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

This comes back to like reframing things for yourself. You're really that day is gonna come that you thought would be the be all and the end all, and the day you hoped for, and you're gonna feel the same way. You may have a bigger bank account, you may actually feel worse because you sold the business that you didn't realize was actually the most passion you've ever had for anything, and it's gone now. But you spent 10 or 15 years thinking, well, once that day comes, I will be happy then, and it's like that's a misnomer. And I celebrate, like, I will send a crazy email to someone that I don't know, and I will get so happy just at a response. Yeah, and I'm like teeing up these moments for myself that are like t ball, where I'm literally putting just such a small thing that I would like, if this comes back and if I can make this work and I hear from this person, I'm gonna celebrate that. And I've totally trained my brain to I was a big I mentioned in another podcast, like Warrior, Darkness Guy, been the Prince of Darkness on this podcast in half the episodes. It's truly not me, but it's because I can remember the days like I would get up and be like, Yeah, fuck this. Yeah, this is uh not what I signed up for. This is stressful. I have to do this, I have to do this, I don't want to do it today. And the reframe is like, okay, I just woke up, I'm still in the game, I get to not have to return that email, drive this person here. Yeah, you know, those are the the driving of the people, you know, is one of the things that is easy to go, uh, yeah, but I'm starting, we're driving. I drive my son to work and my daughter to dance, and those are some great times we have in the car where we get to sit there together and talk about stuff that we wouldn't when I'm fast-forwarding those moments, because in somebody else's mind, they're the connective tissue of the major milestones, and the major milestones only become the major milestones because of how much you enjoy the connective tissue between.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

So, striving satisfied is also just like taking the time to anchor in and celebrate. Yesterday we had a call with Mariella. Um, she's our ICF contact for what we're doing over in the world of Lumina legacy, and she just was like, celebrate this, celebrate where you're at in this process, you're doing it. And I was like, Oh, yeah. And it comes back to just striving satisfied. Like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

What does satisfaction look like or mean? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

And it felt good in that moment. All it felt was like, oh, okay, right, there's impact. And it made me think not about anything other than, oh wow, hold on. Like, there's impact here. There's there's there's transformation here, it's landing. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Isn't that the weirdest thing that she had to remind you to do that? That's what pisses me off when I lose sight.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Because we're like running to the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Everyone listening, it's gonna be easy for you to adopt and think of, oh my god, Adam Sandler in the remote. Yes, for a day after you listen to this episode. But I think the challenge we both pose to you is remember this two weeks from now and a month. And this has to be the permanent reframe to establish like a certain level of happiness that you're cool with. We talked about the symptoms of the next thing and the next thing and the next thing being your modus operandi, and they're terrible.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Yeah, that's where burnout happens. That's where never feeling good enough. Right, you know, oh my gosh. Like, I have literally a sticker on my computer that says your productivity does not determine your worth. And I had to look at that sticker for a long time because it was like, okay, if I can just get through and think about this too. Like, if you were to look at your to-do list or you're looking at your to-do list, how long is it? It's like, you know, priority used to be one word. Now your key priority for the day would be one thing. Now it's priority. So that's the burnout. Yeah. And then, you know, and again, I remember sharing, like, so I'll have all these check marks, and that's like my determination of I had a good enough day, you know. But those now it comes back down to, you know, did I serve well? Could I have given a fingernail more?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

You know, and if I'm like, I probably could have given a fingernail more, then I also give myself the grace to say, you know what, Kim? Everything that needed to be done today, it got done. So you're deserving, I, you know, this is one thing when it comes to like burnout or that constant pressure. It's like, you know, I I taught, we talk to a lot of people, we coach people, we, you know, we serve a lot of people. And I hear people say, like, my sleeps are affected, this is affected. Like, I had to start conditioning my myself to be like at 3 p.m. an alarm goes off, being like, You are worthy of a really good sleep. Like, that's just a little you know, or you are worthy of celebrating the success you guys had this week, or you know, just reminders that because that pulls into the identity piece, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:17

When you start to believe that you can see it on someone's face when they don't feel like they're enough. And that I I hate that for those people because it's easy to just go, oh yeah, shit, no, I am enough, and I got this. And like I said, those small little T ball T's like set up a few of those small ones for yourself because uh again, we did a whole episode on momentum, and like you still have momentum if you're cranking the ball off the T versus hitting a home run. Again, we've touched on how many home runs are you gonna hit, yeah. So I think there's good connective tissue between those two concepts. Like, don't fast forward the singles and the doubles that are part of playing baseball. Like, you you can't it isn't about the home runs, it's about playing and being in it and enjoying the fact you get to do it.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

And stop waiting to be successful, yeah. Stop waiting to feel successful. You determine your feelings, right? Our our our feelings control our thoughts, our thoughts are sorry, our our thoughts control our feelings, our feelings control our emotions, our emotions control our actions. Like all of that matters. So it's like if you're sitting there feeling a certain way, it's going to determine, I don't feel successful. Well, what does success mean for you? Because success today might be being that mom that needs to be present, even though sure you didn't, you know, nail it over here. You nailed it over there. And all that matters for your quality of life. So really refining that and and reflecting on that will help you not feel so exhausted or, you know, uh not successful. And I agree, I like that you said I hate that feeling for you. You've you've said that to me a couple of times where I'm like, oh, you know, I'm kind of feeling this way. And you're like, you're like, I don't like that feeling for you. Like, where does that come from? And that's a good question. You often ask, where does that come from? I'm like, oh yeah, it probably comes from the past stitching that's not part of this, a new identity. And it gives you that opportunity of like, you know, are you also clicking that remote to put you in a past identity that doesn't align with who you are today? Like every day you are literally becoming this next version of you until you embody it and you are it. So I am successful, I am strong, I'm gonna do the best I can today. But what I put out is gonna be fantastic because you believe that. You know, to some they're rolling their eyes right now, but that's okay. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 14:39

I want to make a point to the eye rollers because if you are rolling your eyes, my question would be if we say bask in the now, what are you basking in today? And this may have just flipped the script on this episode where it's like, well, why don't you build something you can bask in and start that then? Because if you're truly like, you know what, I don't have anything to bask in. I'm not, I'm not let you, I don't have a business, or I don't, you know, I don't see that. I don't have a family that I speak to. You know, I there's I don't know who's listening. I there's members of my family that I could be in the same position as you, but there's there are positives and the reframe and the landing on those to to make your sort of that general look, like I said, you can see it on someone's face when they feel like they're not successful enough and they're not doing enough. It's like you probably are, and once you reframe that, it'll be visible to everyone else around you, and that story changes and success is imminent.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

And that's why reflection is so important and not just getting through your days, but being a participant actively in your day, knowing what's happening. You know, I had a great mentor that told me, you know, he splits his day into four quarters, and I love this analogy, right? Gretchen Richard, um, Gretchen Rubin also talks about the quarters, right? You can't ruin all of your day if something happened in the first quadrant. You're you got three more quadrants. You're move on. So you you you've fussed about the shoes being in a disaster and you didn't feel like you did that. So what can you do in that from from noon to to three? You can fix that, you know. So it's just really moving on and and and assessing that, but also being aware, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Because there's another sports analogy there, like basketball is quarters, right? There's four quarters in a basketball game, and no team ever goes down 30 to 15 in the first quarter and then never comes back out on the floor.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Like, I love that analogy because that's sticky, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:40

They come back out and they go, All we need to do is do one that's 30 to 15, and then we're tied. Yeah, we got this, let's go. And they they come back out, right? Yeah, like I think basketball is one for me where I always think like I I'm the worst. I'm so we said I'm the dark side guy, right? So I will watch basketball and they'll be down 30 points, and I will turn it off. Like, I don't have the positive um wherewithal sometimes. I'm like, oh, they're done. No, no, this is over. And it's my favorite to like accuse myself after I see it on the sports center or whatever. I'm like, oh, they did come back. I missed the whole thing because I went dark. Yeah, it's like they can't do this anymore. Yeah, but that's the old me.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I love this. We're turning you into the light. Look, the lights coming up.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I don't like it. I'm melting.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

I love this. Oh, it's just like bask in the now. We're in the good old days.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Yeah, we're in the good old days.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

What are the days you consider to be the good old days? And what was different about them than what's happening right now?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Me too.