Who Do You Think You Are? I Am! (Episode 15)

Kyle and Kim begin with a simple question inspired by a viral bowling celebration and end up exploring something much bigger: why are so many people uncomfortable owning their success?

From confidence and self-belief to humility and human connection, this conversation examines the tension between celebrating your wins and staying grounded. Why do we downplay our accomplishments? Why is it often easier to cheer for others than ourselves? And where exactly is the line between confidence and ego?

Along the way, Kyle and Kim discuss leadership, identity, championing others, and the importance of giving yourself permission to acknowledge how far you've come.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say isn't for anyone else.

It's for yourself.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's Legacy Live. I'm your host, Kyle Hosick.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

And I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Who do you think you are?

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I am.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Okay, we're talking we're going weird today again. Is this becoming a pattern? I don't think so. I don't think it's that weird because we're gonna play the clip for you that this title is based off of. But this episode is about celebration. Celebrating your victories, whether they're in your personal life or your business, and supporting others.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

That's so key. And like championing others, like that is so key. Championing yourself and championing others.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

So there's a clip. I HBO released like a new like bowling documentary that's about like the guts of like professional bowling today. And part of that uh series played a clip that I had seen before, it's viral, like it's just come to mean so much. I can't even remember the bowler's name. I should have had that, but we're gonna play the clip for you here so you see it. This is like unbridled celebration to the point where almost what he quotes and says does not make sense, but it's come to make sense because it's gone so viral. Where he is so happy at winning the championship, he says, Who do you think you are? I am, and he turns to the audience. Let's roll the clip here, and then we'll break this down when we come back. So, for those of you who are only listening, that clip, like I said, he's just won the professional bowling circuit, turns around, looks at the audience, his wife is there, and that sounds a little crazy, but I think what we're gonna talk about today is the fact that it's okay to sound a little crazy sometimes and celebrate your wins and achieving your goals.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Well, I know it makes me think about too. It's like he was in such a state, you could hear it, right? The announcer's like, oh god, he just needs to strike. You could tell it was looked like it was going right into the gutter, and all of a sudden the ball just like went out and it he just nailed it. And he, you know, you could just see the relief, you could see the excitement, you could see the pride. You he was it was like coming out of him, it was electric. I was like, this is the coolest thing ever watching it. And I had never seen it before, and I always laugh when Kyle's like, okay, we're gonna get weird. I'm like, it's not weird, you're just actually worldly and you have good experience. So I think let's like drop that in.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

That could be considered worldly, I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Yeah, I'm just saying you have good distinction of things that are relevant in the world, and so you can call it weird, or we can be like, no, this is relevant, this is cool, this is a good example that is rooted in also because everything comes back to us on self-leadership, business, brand. Like you could argue that was his authentic roar. Like, look at me, this is it. Who do you think I am? Who do you think you are? I am like that. That is like raw guttural pride. Like, God, we need more of that. I think the world needs more of that.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

100%. And we each need to learn a lesson there where you know, I think we should do a few minutes on like let's not cross a line with how sort of egotistical celebration might look sometimes. But even if it's in your own way, you can look yourself in the mirror and say, Who do you think you are? You are right, you know. I'm getting a little like hokey self-help here.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

I like hokey self-help. I I literally like I do this thing in the morning when I brush my teeth. Think speaking about like looking in the mirror, like you have to be your own best advocate because he has done obviously clearly from that clip. You can tell like he has enough of that self-admiration and that self-respect and that self-love. One of the tip tips I use, or one of the things I do, when I brush my teeth, I use my non-dominant hand because it actually like so I'm right, I'm left-handed, so I use my um right hand and I will brush my teeth and I'll look myself in the eyeballs and I'm like, I love you. I love you, I love you. And I say it like over and over and over again for the amount of time that I need to brush my teeth. Now, same in the same I did not know that in the same mirror that I'm looking in, there's a little photo of me in my little brownie outfit when I was like six, seven years old, and I'm just like reminding her of who she is because I didn't want to wear that outfit to school, but it was picture day, and I had to wear my brownie outfit, and I was pissed, but then I was like, nope, we love ourselves in that outfit because we are who we are. Like, these are the things that like you have to be able to know when you say you am getting hokey. You gotta do those things in order to actually believe yourself when you can get in public, and you're like, I did that. Yeah, then that then that to me that is like full expression. That is like there's no hollowness there, right? And there's a huge point to that of like, are you a hollow celebrator or are you embodied? Like he was literally felt it in his self. He did, yeah. That's it's admirable. That's admirable.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yeah, like I think there's a there's a thing about celebration where it's you it's we've been taught to like keep it in check, like you know, tamp down, like let's not be braggadocious.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Do you think that's like this gen? Do you think we're moving out of that? Like, I really believe that's the like like we were raised in that.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely come a long way with like proliferation of the NBA and football end zone dances and celebrations. Like in the 60s and 70s, I think that was just very much like we're here, we play the game, we finish, oh yeah, you're humming we're in business, we work at Xerox and Texas Instruments, and we're typing and going out for whiskey after, and it wasn't like it's we I think I do think culture has shifted to allow for even weird, and and here's our bowler example again, like that's a very odd celebration choice of words, but I think you're right that it's come a long way in the public eye, but not yet a long way in our own conscious, in the way we're allowed to take a moment and go, fuck, I did that.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Who do I think I am? I am.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Yeah, like and if you're not celebrating that every day, your weeks are gonna lump, you'll live the same 75 years every single like you are if you do not stop to celebrate, if you do not take a minute, it will just pass you by. Yeah, like it will pass you by silently, you know, and you will constantly feel like there's that that's where that never enoughness comes in, when it's like you can't actually just sit and let it anchor in and celebrate. You know, I've got a couple good friends that, you know, especially when I we were like we're right in the climb of what we were doing, and it's like, okay, what's next? What's next? We gotta keep going. And it's like, hold on, like, did what are you doing to celebrate? And I'm like, who's time for this?

SPEAKER_01 7:19

I'm having club soda in a wine glass.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

I'm having club soda with limes. I'm so right, right? But it's like that's an important thing, and it's so interesting because I think that society still and like I remember growing up, I've always felt like I wanted to express myself, my excitement or my pride, or like I'm really excited about this. Like, I've always been like that from birth, and I remembered it being tampered a bit of being like, be humble, yeah, don't brag. And I'm like, listen, your success is a roadmap for someone else that now can believe that that's possible.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Seriously. So it's like, if you can go forward, if you can say, I'll show you how to do this because you're paving the path of like that means it's possible. It's like, think about Rory. Is it Rory the golfer? I was sobbing, yeah, like sobbing while he was walking and just like crying, like because like that was his story.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

The story is incredible, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Like, what's the story?

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Well, he he's played in it forever, I think is the deal. That was his first masters, and I think he almost didn't even make the cut. You're you're getting me to quote golf though, and I do not know.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

No, me neither. But I was like, it's good. I saw it and I was like, oh, something's really important here. But no, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I know I need to cry.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

I saw the money with those. But it's like, you but that is see, there's power in that.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

His vulnerable expression of who do you think you are?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

I am his reaction to winning, too, like where he just broke down. Like that makes it.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Like, I have chosen my four in my brain right now, like in my top of my scalp, of like to me, or like watching the Olympics, or like watching the crowd go wild, or like, you know, watching the the jockey, right? The the female trainer at the new at the Kentucky Derby. Kentucky Derby.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

That's the like those are the things that are like I have chills right now in my whole body because it's like, God, can we allow someone to be so proud without apology? Yeah, like can we just celebrate that you're so proud? And that I really believe is what will set the difference between a business owner that can celebrate others and can can celebrate themselves and can see the vision and can like your magnetism when you are open. That's reciprocal energy, right? You get back what you put in.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Yep, totally.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

And that is so important. Like, if you are not allowing yourself to be successful, you're not allowing yourself to set prices that you've you are deserving of, you will never be rewarded with all that because it's all energetic.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Well, like for me, come your world was kind of self-help and wellness, right? And mine was not. Yeah, mine was advertising and marketing and rigid, um, but still same time creativity. But we so there's word scarcity, yes, where I'd heard it a bunch. There's some words where I still will will stop and be like, okay, what do you mean by that? Because I need to make sure I'm hearing it from the wellness.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

That's my favorite when we're like, what do you think? I mean you use service a lot, deep coaching side, like yeah, I do use service.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

So scarcity, let's go back to scarcity. We talked through this prior to this episode, where it's in my world, scarcity is like, okay, is a product scarce in marketing? If you can't get something, it's more desirable. In natural resources, for instance, um, uranium is becoming scarce because they need it for computer chips. Yeah. Right? So, scarcity, it's the same meaning in two different worlds, but in this example, with happiness as a resource or celebration, we wrote on the board, and this is where my head goes, is you see somebody else win and you see them celebrate. Even if it's in your own industry, your nature wants to go, shit, I don't like that. Because that's take there that's approaching it from there's a fixed amount of happiness, and that person just came along with a pie server and took a big chunk of it. Yeah, and now that's not available to you. That's the way you're you're looking at it. I look at it sometimes this way, and you got happiness is everywhere, it's unlimited. You can have a win the same time someone else has a win, and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. We wrote another word on the board, Schadenfreude, which is like zeitgeist. I don't know why I have these single German terms.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

I can't pronounce them.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

So it's truthfully, truthfully, Schadenfreude was in an episode of The Simpsons.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Where everything's Lisa Lisa, uh truthfully, truthfully, Lisa's talking about Schadenfreude because it is a case where someone is happier when they see someone else failing. That's the opposite. That's like that's the sad reality of a lot of people. Yeah, it is where you're like, you know what, that's made me feel so much better because I'm doing okay. Right. But I'm I I feel better because I I got to watch you not succeed.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

What's with that?

SPEAKER_00 12:38

That's depressing to me. Yeah, that's like it's like keep me out of that circle immediately.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Yeah. Like, and this is light side, dark side, where I was like, I don't think I'm even that dark.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

No, you're not. No, no, you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I'm on Kim's side, but this one, like, let's celebrate.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Yeah, like uh well, the energy you put out is what you get back, and we were chatting about that earlier, right? About the that term that would say it again.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Schadenfreude.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

That yeah, we were talking about it because it's like, here's the thing if you are actually willing someone to fail, that means that means that's in your subconscious that you want someone else to feel to make you feel better, is just literally your level of how well you know yourself, how well you like ever will succeed. Like you will never succeed more than what you want others to succeed in ever.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

And whoever wants to share the story about the most negative person they know who thinks that way. Nobody, right? Nobody, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

We've we've talked taught that to our kids, like drilled in their heads. It's like you do not like you leave the room. If someone's talking shit, you're out. Like it is like it is the most toxic, like energy dream. The lowest form. The lowest it is the lowest form. Jealousy is the lowest form. Envy, lack, competing, your demise is my thing. Like it karma will get you. I just like why like it will, it will come back. Like, there are people that are like, you know, don't go, don't know. When you work with me, you can only be working with me. You can't go do anything. I just that is there is a scarcity there that is not allowing other people to be exposed. Like everyone can win. And the more that you get to learn from other people, like we always talk about the bench. Like, I have a bench, a team of people that have helped me to become who I am. We have I have a staff that works for us personally. I couldn't do everything I do if I didn't have somebody literally helping me in our home, in our life with our kids. Like we've grown, like we've built this around us for an infrastructure of support and love. And if you like really are wanting the demise of someone else, like those people are untouchable that that you're wanting to fail so bad, they're actually untouchable because their energy is so much better than the other people. They don't get it. It's like it's like this, yeah, oh, oh, your little sad life. Yeah, yeah. Like it's in between mine. Like, no, like I don't mean that with any disrespect, but it's like the the thought that someone projecting their evilness on someone else, like, are you really that are you really that low that you think it's gonna affect the people that are living their best lives? I just don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

This goes back to our the tinfoil ball from the last episode where it's like that comparison jealousy thing is such a thread in social media, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Unfortunately, yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Um, and that's I think where that's born out of because would you you know I think back to when I was a kid, it would be like my mom on the phone with someone is how you found out some piece of information, and now that's just at your fingertips. Like, oh, I see what you're doing and I see what you're at, and it's easy to like have that start winding backwards in your head where you're like you're getting ahead faster than I am, and then you're just in a whirlpool of shit, to be honest, where you should be like, No, no, I'm gonna let I'm happy for you. Look what you've done. Yeah, so I'm winding this forward to to create a great path for myself, yeah, or to ask, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Like, yeah, sometimes when you see that's the one thing I really love about what we do, right? Is like we will be the first people to be like, okay, let me get on a call with you. Let's figure this out, let's walk through that. What do you need? Right. And I think that's one of the things as well is like when you can understand that the energy you put out, you will get that back. You know, remember that. You the energy you put out, you will get that back. So are you putting out, you know, goodness and and belief and that vision and that excitement and that hope and all those things that are the opposite of lack and scarcity and envy and jealousy. That's really where you can look at this when it comes to that of like, am I actually really championing others? And it comes back to what are you actually thinking about yourself? Because most often it's the people that doubt themselves that are the ones projecting the most. So if you spent that energy of like, okay, well, what can I do? And or maybe you don't want to do what that other person's doing, or that intimidates you, or that scares you. So what so my coach hat put my coach hat on, I'd be like, huh, what's getting under your skin with that? Yeah. Like, what is that? What does that say about you? What are you making that mean about you? That's always the question, right? So if you ever feel like you're envious, and I don't know if this is helpful, but I loved hearing this. It's go where you're envious. Because if you can instead of resisting the envy, the difference of envy and jealousy is totally important.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

100%. Let's do that. Let's do that. Envy's still positive.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Envy's positive. Jealousy's like, yeah, let me let's have her demise. Yes, envy is like, oh wow, like that's pretty incredible. Like, I'm I like I wish I could have I want that one day. The envy of that freedom of her mind, of her decision, that's so cool. I'm curious about that. Yeah, so when you go where you're envious, that means it's available for you too. And there's power in that.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Well, also, you're really good on social media at celebrating everyone who's in your orbit.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

And who's not in my orbit? I want everyone to win.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Like, it's always positive, and like what gets me is the people who just are sitting and watching and are like, I'm not gonna, you know what, I'm not even commenting, I'm not even liking this because I don't like what I see.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

My favorite, my favorite part when I will see people, they're like, You're busy. Like, oh, how do you know? Why see it? I'm like, Oh, I haven't seen you like anything. I love that you're looking that way stuff. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Right down to that activity on Tuesday morning. Okay, why don't you say something every once in a while and we can have a conversation?

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Do we know that we can see them in our story views?

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Oh my goodness. But I do think this too, one thing that happens is that high when we talk about celebration and we talk about really giving yourself permission to dream, let your mind off the leash. I think high performers have difficulty celebrating themselves because they're ready to go to the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, that's true for sure, 100%. But celebration doesn't need to be the burst of who do you think you are? I am. It can be a general layer. Like I I've said to you before, we're we're like kind of building the tinfoil ball enough that it's like just a state of being for me now that's not necessarily explosive and and has these peaks throughout the week. It's like I'll be walking down my hallway at home and be like, I'm getting I get to go back to the computer and like cross a couple other things off and be like, that's still celebrating a little thing. Like I have I mentioned my lists like every morning I write out all my shit with a big pen on a folded piece of paper. My celebration is this crossing one thing off. I'm like, yes, and it's like it's so micro, but then I get to the bottom of the list, and that gives me the freedom to go, what can I write on here that's not a to-do, but it's like looking at the next chapter almost. And that's my little piece of foil for tomorrow. Yeah, and I write those ones on the right hand side and they move to the left a week later.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Yeah, that's fantastic. One of the things I love, and I've shared this before, is I put V, I put big check marks with her victory of like, and then I can see, okay, I got a lot done today when there's like 15 Vs littered all over the thing. And you know, we can't share this exactly yet, but we Kyle and I are celebrating. We've got two uh speaking engagements, which are big. That was very exciting for us, and that came in last week. And again, we were just those are the again, that's just that energy that you put out. It's one foot in front of the other, it's celebrating other people, it's being in the room. Actually, I'll say this. I was invited to go to a conference, did go to the conference, was so glad. It was a bit of a jaunt for me to get there. It wasn't as close proximity, but I was like, you know what? I'm gonna make this investment. I'm gonna sleep over the night before. I really wanna like I want to support other people. I wanna, it's their event, I wanna support that. Yeah, I'm gonna come, I'll be there. And we at that event, and this with this incredible person I love, is a friend, she's a friend of mine, she's a great leader, etc. We were talking about an event that's coming up. Would you be interested in speaking? I'm like, absolutely, connect me. Yeah, didn't know where it would go. But if I hadn't been maybe sitting there then and and made friends with all the like or made connections with that whole, like, you just don't know what comes up. And again, it's like, oh, those what all those little decisions you make, all those connections you make, everything is leading you to the next thing. You know, it's all in the orbit, it's all in the energy. Yeah, literally. And I think it's giving yourself permission to celebrate that, but giving yourself permission to zoom out. We love the topic zoom out, right? And you're looking at your calendar, you're assessing your quarters, right? We're coming into the end, you know, of this, like walking into the core into a new quarter soon. So it's like assess that. Assess your first quarter, assess your second quarter. What led you to what led you to that one that's happening in Q three and Q four? Whoa, it was that event I went to in Q one. Oh, those connections. Interesting. The more that you can put that together, that's when you can be like, who do you think you are? I am, because you're putting yourself The places that are setting you up for the success of where you're going.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Well, and it's easy to turn your back to the wall and stand there like uh a bump and not say anything to anybody and then wonder why didn't that work when I went to that event? Yeah. But like you you worked that in the most natural, yes, positive way possible by being a nice person. Yes. Talking to everyone who was there, which is what you're supposed to do at a networking event. I am a talker. Right? Like, so I I I feel like sometimes people like those don't work. And I've because you showed up negative and you haven't engaged the way you're supposed to. And that's a live example, but social media is a digital example, and you probably show up the same way, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

I think some people also think that they're above certain rooms or circles, and that's interesting. And again, maybe, maybe, but I think at the beginning, like I still will do some talks for free or for like I think that's really important for anybody that's listening that might be starting out early or start like starting a business. Like, I remember telling that to someone, they're like, You don't talk for free. I was like, Absolutely, I will. I love that. Like, what do you mean? You know, like of course, because what that what can that do? Who can that introduce you to? What can that, you know? And of course I'm paid as well to speak, but that's that's here nor there. It is, it is what how you leave people feeling. It is the decisions you're making in your business. And at the end of the day, the question always is, is this going to leave value? Does it align with my mission and vision? And does it contribute to the greater goal of whatever that is for you? You know, so it's like when you I remember, and I had this, I'm I'm attending an event in a couple months, and it was, I was talking to one of the one of my good friends. She's like, Yeah, it's so funny. She's like, I reached out to someone and they're like, Oh, I don't really do that anymore. It's kind of, I'm kind of above that now.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

And um, you know, and it's like, oh wow, okay. So, okay, so networking with like amazing humans is like not, you know, so that was good. I was like, oh, that's so interesting. And that's where the humility I think can always come in, right? Always stay connected to the thread and needle, right? I have this um tattoo of a thread and needle. And the reason I have the thread and needle is like again, it's like that who do you think I who do you think you are, you know, or who do you think I who do you think you are? I am. Well, it's like I also have humility that I'm still a human, just like anyone is. And I love the ability of the thought of that little thread. You know how small that needle is, and you try to like lick the string to get the needle in the like that little tiny pinhole. It's like never lose connection to that thread and needle because it's the needle that's the smallest pinhole that ties you to humanity.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Wow, prolific. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

It ties you to humanity, so it's like, can you have pride in celebrating, but you're always still connected through that little hole? We are that that is that small. It is like it is your million dollar minutia. Stay connected to that tiny little hole of like thread and human connection and never being above those things because you never know.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

I think humanity as a word is celebrating everybody, right? So maybe you just summed it up perfectly.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Bring it on. Humanity wins, joy wins, let people win, share the celebration, give yourself permission to be unapologetically happy.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

I think we are, we are.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

We are.