Move To Trash (Episode 19)

What are you still carrying that no longer belongs in your life?

In this episode of Legacy Live, Kyle and Kim explore the idea of “moving to trash” the habits, stories, relationships, expectations, and old versions of ourselves that are taking up space but no longer serving us.

Not everything deserves to come with you into the next chapter. Sometimes progress is not about adding more. It is about being honest enough to let something go.

A conversation about clearing the clutter, making room for what matters, and deciding what stays with you from here.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

It's Legacy Live. We are back with another episode. I'm your host, Kyle Hossick.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

And I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Today we're talking about the dump. Going to dump. Okay. Alright, the dump. Did you ever go to the dump when you were a kid?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

I go to the dump as an adult. Okay. More so than I ever did as a kid.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

It's a weird name for this place. It's normally known as like a landfill, I guess. Which is that sounds terrible too. Landfill.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Yeah, I was always always referred to as the dump.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

The dump. Yeah. Like my dad would be like, hey, I'm going to the dump. And that I was like, you know, few things ranked in order, like someone's got a pool, we're going there, we're going to the park. You got a baseball game. But the dump, for some reason, I just love going to the dump because you get to chuck stuff, throw stuff that used to mean something to either you or somebody else. And you get to wing it as hard as you can out into space. And I just, it was just the most fantastic thing. And I have a situation right now where I have some product for one of my businesses that I can't donate somewhere because it's like I don't want it out in the public because it's an old version of my stuff. I got five big boxes taking up a lot of space. You can probably already hear where we're going with this. Like big boxes taking up a lot of space. I want to get rid of that. I need to free up that space. I gotta take them to the dump. Like, I was like, do I have to cut all these hoodies up, or do I if I take them to the dump myself, I can trust that they're gone. Gonzo, never to be seen again.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

How does that feel?

SPEAKER_02 1:54

It feels weird. Like we I talked with Tiff about this, and it was like, shouldn't you donate them? And I'm like, I can't. You can't. Yes, I want them going to a less fortunate soul who can get warmth from them, of course. But it's like gonna fry my brand and my business if those are out on the street.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

And there's so many layers buried in here where, like, is there a product you should be moving on from? Like, we don't just mean take parts of your mindset to the dump. We're gonna get into that too. But like, is your product ready to go to the dump and you start over on it? Because I I have stuff that's going to the dump.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, and and and to that end too, it's like maybe it isn't necessarily a product, maybe it's the brand you've been holding on to, maybe it's the story that you've been holding on to that's in a brand, but you know it no longer fits you because you're not actually the same person, right? Maybe it's a um a group program, for example, that you want to do, or maybe it's even something if you work in the corporate world or you're a stay-at-home parent, and there's just these things that you can't get any control of because the space it's taking up is actually, you know, I love the saying of a chaotic space creates a chaotic mind. So when you clean that up, and you and I like your analogy too, like that idea of like if I take this to the dump, I love the ownership you just had. Like, if I take it to the dump, I know it's gone. I know that it's been taken care of, I've done what I need to do, you know, and that's important.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

1-800 got junk would come, it would be super easy, but I can't trust that that's actually gone just because they took it away in a truck. Like someone there might be like, Oh, look at all these hoodies, and then they're not gone. There's some metaphor hidden in there too, where it's like, you need to do the work to be sure that it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Yeah, you know, I in my in my past life I had all these like really fancy dresses for like the one event that you needed to be dressed up for, right? And I held on to those. I held on to like every year. And then when we were moving, the the and and at that point, actually, too, which was so ironic, is that the business moved out as much as the dresses moved out in and around the same time. And that was really profound for me that I just kept accumulating them, not because I couldn't rewear them, but I thought they were special. I wanted to hold on to the memories. But what I realized was they were a part of me then, but they weren't a part of what I was going forward with. Right. And I did end up, I didn't uh it did end up donating them. They were beautiful, they were great. Um, and that worked. You know, I remember sometimes I would donate some of my jackets that had like an old company that I worked with or an old ranking that I worked with. And I remember walking down the street and I saw someone wearing like 2017 Elite Beach Body Coat. I was like, I think that's my jacket, but I'm so happy you're wearing that because that's funny. It didn't matter. It was like that whole point of what are when are you ready to let it go? And where do you need to let it go to? Do you need to bury it? Do you like that? Is I love this analogy. Like, where or is it okay if someone else is wearing that and that you out it outgrows?

SPEAKER_02 5:12

I'll take this a step further. So all these boxes were like tucked in a corner of our basement, and then our hot water tank ruptured. Oh no. And so they didn't get wet, but we had to replace the water tank. So I had to move all the boxes into the middle of our laundry space in the basement. There's something here where, like, what if those box like there you might have a memory or some relationship that you just need to take to the dump, but because it's in the corner, you're letting it live there. And this forced us to like move it in the center of the room where I was like, these are going to the dump. Like, this is now in my way of getting to the washer and dryer.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

That's powerful.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

So, like, yeah, you're out of here. You're gone. I'm not willing to just put you back by the new hot water tank. I'm gonna do the work. I'm gonna load these upstairs and get them out of here.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Yeah, we were we're in the process of relocating back to Burlington.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

And we purged more in and we moved in. So doesn't that feel good? Yeah, we moved in and then like we've been there two years. Some of the stuff we we haven't even unpacked. And I was like, wow. And I know we never would have experienced that had we not moved, had we not, and then really just going through like, have I used this? I love Marie Kondo, or is it condo? I think so.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Where it's like she like or Netflix thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah, you like you, you, you look at it, does it bring me joy? Yeah, and then you thank it, and then you let it go. Yeah, and that is the most cathartic. Like, thank you for being with me in this season. Yeah, rev like the boxes of these hoodies.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

It wouldn't be so crucial to the growth. So you're not just I'll keep one.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah, I have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

But I want hanging in my office. I have a t-shirt of his I'm gonna keep forever. Do not give that to anybody. I may have to kill you.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah, you know, but like I have all our my legacy bands, like every one of them. And I'm so grateful for that. Like, I always I have one of every one of every band from the collection. Of every collection, I have one of them. And I will keep those forever. But the some of them You don't need 500.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

I mean, there's about that many, but it's my you know, but it's like it's it's where where are you keeping your stuff? How is it? Is it is it contributing to your life? Is it weighing you down? I like the analogy of when I moved all of this to the middle of the room. So if you're really struggling with letting something go, put it in the way. Literally put it in the way.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Like put it in the middle of your closet that you have to look at every day and put it to bring it to the forefront of your brain and go, if I'm thinking this could be happening right now where you know you can't out, you can't get around something in your mind. Yeah, and it's like we're taking take that to the dump. You know, like on your computer, if you move something to the recycle bin, it's like kind of still there.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Yes, you have to put it in.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

And it's taken up space.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Yes, that's a great analogy.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

But then like I I practice this every day. Like, I don't like anything sitting in there. I want the permanency of the free space on my computer. Yeah, because the recycle bin, just because you moved it over there, it really didn't do anything. That's true. It's taking up megabytes and gigabytes of space on your computer. And if your computer is like your brain, you gotta like go empty trash and that you just watch it go. And there's this thing where you know, so sometimes I'm editing video and I'm like, I gotta double check that this actually made it to the hard drive I'm saving it on. Because if I delete this, we're screwed, you know. But it there's something there for the mental recycle bin being emptied as much as you can. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

And that's a great point for those that are listening. Like, how many of you have actually put something in the recycle bin, but it's still there?

SPEAKER_02 8:54

You know it's still there, and you're like, Oh, I had a yeah, I had a revelation and a breakthrough, but you're pretending because it's in your recycle bin, it's still taking up the same amount of space. You didn't wake your kid up and go, hey, let's go chuck this as far as we can at the dump.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

And that's what you need to do. Like, that's a real, like, I encourage you to chuck it as far as you can.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

And you know, you said something about the mental part. One time I I remember this was about nine years ago, and I was at a retreat and I went through this experience where I wrote a lot of things, all of my all of like set of beliefs, set of circumstances on a rock.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

On a with a black Sharpie marker. And then I just sat with that rock. Actually, I went for a hike with the rock, got very heavy. Okay. I just need to, I wanted to put that said rock down many times. And what it did was it made me realize I'm holding on to old beliefs, old things, old habits, old patterns. And we could probably all do this again. Like this is a very simple exercise. You can even do with your kids, you can do it with your family, you could do it with the team, etc. But it's like holding that, going for a walk, and then actually, when you're ready, literally blessing it, releasing it, and throw it in the lake.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

And it's gone. Like at that, it that was such a powerful um practical thing that you can also do now when it comes to the mental stuff. Love that. Or something that you've compartmentalized in your heart, or something you've compartmentalized from a past relationship, or a part of you that you're grieving, maybe it's a relationship. You know, you we hear this all the time. People outgrow relationships, or you know, the friend circles change, or whatever that is. But if you're not actually processing through that and allowing that to move through and just saying thank you, like thank you for that part, but it's no longer a part of me. You know, one time sometimes I'll just stay, I'll just say a short prayer that's like, okay, show me how good it can get. And anything that is not of me, move out of me immediately. Because there's a lot of shit that's loitering around, energies and I think your your old computer is the perfect. Oh my gosh, it just kept shutting down.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

I'm like, it's shutting down, it's gone.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

You know, and it was that that's just years of recycle bin, and you know when your computer, the storage on your computer is too full, and you're like, this piece is and it's frustrating. And but if you're mentally operating, you see how you just took a computer, you didn't take it to the dump. Probably yeah, you're you're holding on to it for a little how longer, but you got a new computer. Is that that's like there's a reframe where you're just like, I'm going to the Mac store and I'm buying a completely new brain and personality.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

You know what? This is a really important point. How long did I tell you that I was gonna get a new computer? And then I was like, I'm gonna get a PC. And then I was like, that's a terrible idea. I'm glad I got a Mac. I mean, I have this joke that Kyle needs a t-shirt. You're right, you know, but it's like, so I went and got a Mac. Best decision.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Yeah, it's fresh, it's clean. There's nothing lingering over.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

And this is such an important thing for everyone to be thinking about, right? Because it's like you need a place where you're allowed to let go of things completely. I have not opened that book, that laptop. I don't need anything on it.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Yeah, because everyone's but there's a safety in knowing it's there, right? A little bit.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Well, it's not even working now. I can't really turn that thing on because it was go to side.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Imagine how far you could throw that at the end.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

I could just throw it right there.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Make sure you take it to the electronics recycling area of the door. Of course, I would always do that. We don't condone uh not recycling your electronics.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

That's right. Um, but it's like, you know, or do I wipe it and like give it to Tess? It's a great computer.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Here's a brick.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Here's a brick, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

You're welcome to it. My kids love that. Like, yeah, uh no, I'm being facetious. They're like, Whoa, your old shit. It's like my new phone, new phone. It's gonna be me now who's like, I'll deal with the old phone.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

But here's that's true. I have not gotten a new phone since for a long time. Really? I think it's I think it's an iPhone 13. Right. I have the iPhone 13. It's working perfectly, right? Perfect. And I'm like, I'm not A, I think it takes the best pictures, I'd argue it. It has the clearest thing, but it's like that is still working. So it's really going through. It's like, are you getting rid of something because you just want the new flashy thing?

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Bingo, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Or or are you actually move like I was at a point where I we couldn't do I couldn't do the business or my part of the business being the part that I needed to do. I'm like, I actually can't write the next manual.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

I can't put a new email address on here.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

No, I couldn't even, my outlook would just close. Everything would just shut down.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I was like, but my questions am I outlook would just close. That's a funny that's a my outlook would be like closing. I love how it's your outlook.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

It's close. Like you can't send an email. That's funny. But how long do you wait? Yeah. I waited five, like for why? Because it was, I was like, oh, this and I did. I was like a a curmudgeon.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Yeah, a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

This takes so long. And I'm like, wow, oh, that's not fun. You know, like just do the thing, bite the bullet. Do you need to clear the data? Do you need to like go to the recycle bin? Empty the recycling bin. Like, that is the mental capacity. And knowing that I can do a zoom without it shutting down or I can save it, like that's our livelihood.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

And so what gets in the way of that? That's so interesting, right? Like, are you too busy to optimize whatever it is that you need to optimize? So, really, we want you thinking today, as you're listening to this, or you're maybe watching this, is like, oh shit, I have that old computer, or I have this, or I have that. What is it that's taking up room? I would have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

It's gonna be something mentally, too. It's gonna be a relationship with someone. Like you talked about the apology you waited months for, and you're you just had to be like, that's going to the dump. Like that was the that's a dump worthy apology. Yeah, move to trash. So I love that. I was we were gonna call this the dump, but I think move to trash. Move to trash, move to trash is a better title.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

That's another thing too. Like the amount of worry I've had about people that have like just moved on from me.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

And I'm like, oh god, I've done you can't. Oh you're someone else's perception of you is is a not your responsibility, but it's also not your control. And it's like, so you can only be who you are, you can show up as who you are. Not everyone's meant to be in your life forever. There, I love that. Is it Carol with Carol Burnett? Is that summer, spring, winter, and fall?

SPEAKER_00 15:22

That's the only time I've all seen it.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

You've lost me on that one. I know Carol Burnett for sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Someone listening to this please message me on Instagram. It's the seasons, like summer, I don't know that.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

You know, Carol Burnett's a comedian, right? It wasn't her. Oh, geez. Okay. Carol King?

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Yes. Okay, there we go.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

When you're coming in fall, but it's in seasons.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

So maybe in the seasons, it's like it's really thinking about that. Like, what do you need to throw out this summer? What are you going to compartmentalize till fall? Because you don't have the capacity to deal with it right now. That's okay. Maybe it's a 2027 and you're burning it on New Year's. But like, have a plan.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Have a plan for that so that you know, okay, I'm not emotionally ready to let this go because that's part of it. You'll have people that are like, you need to let that go. And you're like, I'm not ready to let that go. So what will it take for you to let that go? And that's part of this, right? It's really getting into that. Like, what would you take tomorrow? Like, if we were gonna pick you up at your house, maybe we'll do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

We call you like we're going to the dump.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Going to the dump. What are you gonna take? This is fun. Like, what are you gonna take to the dump? We really should go to the dump and throw it and put it in this video.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Literally, you know, we're not gonna do that though, because we don't have time.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Okay, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Um, I think for the mindset and the mental side of this, you can just write all this stuff you need to take to the dump on a piece of paper and then move to trash, crumple it up. I think on a Mac, it even makes a sound of a paper ball going. And it goes when it goes to the trash. Like you could literally do that and be like, here's a person I'm no longer dealing with, here's a client that's going to the dump. Here's one of my products that I'm gonna make a change to and throw out the old one and then crumple it up and chuck it in the garbage. And it might be cathartic.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

And there are some things you might want to put in a picture box. Yeah, so there might be, and so not everything has to go to the dump. It's but it's one of those keep one. Okay, so for example, I ran this is like a big deal for me. I ran my first 5k with my son this week this week, and I want to keep the bib and the little metal, and I'm gonna put it in a teeny little shadow box. And all that's gonna do that wasn't, it was a 5K. Yeah, it wasn't the half marathon because I think I'm only gonna ever run one. Right. Even though I'm trying to tell myself I'm a runner, I am a runner, I'm going for a run today. But it's like I like that I did that. So that marks it wasn't about the and so for me about this too, like the dump doesn't always mean, or the thing you're keeping doesn't mean it doesn't need to be the thing that you're working towards. It could be the process part, like to me, running that 5k that marked the first time that I committed to okay, I'm gonna put myself in a race.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

To me, the process that's was the most important thing to get me to the other, remembering how hard I need to train for my 21 kilometers.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

But does that frame some other things that occupy space in your mind as less important?

SPEAKER_01 18:19

It must it did because I was so fixated on how was I gonna get through the 21 kilometers. No, five. You gotta get through your five, right? You gotta get through your five. So how am I gonna get through five four times? Okay, I can do that. I can do that. Sucks, but I can do that, right? I did think I was gonna die in the fourth kilometer, but we we're gonna be better. It'll be the 18th now that I die in.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

So is the shadow we're trying how the shadow box then becomes important, but are you saying at some point you might even take a shadow box to the dump? If you're like, I have you know what? I broke my knees are bad. I don't want to think about that marathon anymore. So sometimes the meaningful stuff can be taken to the dump and free up some space. Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Maybe not. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I mean, I think some you gotta delineate what you want to keep and what needs to be tossed. And that's what I'm saying. Like so, there's something important that should be and this is all part of when you're processing that needs to go this way, right? And I need to let go of what aren't you letting go of? Because that's your lifeline.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I'm not letting go of this community or these amazing friendships or this thing that I have, but you're creating space for it by letting go of the other things that don't serve you.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

So where you hang that shadow box, you might have a shadow box that you bought at HomeSense that's taking up space on your wall that now you're like, this is going to the dump.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

100%.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

I have something really meaningful that I need to hang somewhere, and I'm gonna hang it where this was. I'm gonna replace that thing at the time.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

I have I have our a huge photo of me with all my signed Be Her Now journal when I had my when I launched my auth my journal and we had our launch party, which was so much fun. But my goal is to have, I'll never maybe get that rid of that. That was really special to me. But what I'd love to have is one more of our next book.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

And that's something so this is where you learn discernment. Oh, this actually was a mark a demarcation of my journey. Keep those things. And you know, but but then the rest of the stuff, how do you learn to let that go? So if you know what is actually in alignment your values, alignment with where you're going, it tells your story. Keep that. The stuff that doesn't, that's what's gonna free you up for your next great idea.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

And it's blocking you from getting to the washing machine.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

You can't you cannot earn your first million or your ne your five next five million with a five-year ago mindset or junk that you are holding on to.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Bingo.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

So that's the crucial part here.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Move it to the trash.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Move it to the trash.