In The Wings (Episode 22)

What if you've been waiting for a moment that doesn't actually exist?

In this episode of Legacy Live, Kyle and Kim explore the theatre phrase "in the wings" and uncover a lesson that reaches far beyond the stage.

Many of us live as though we're waiting for permission to begin. We convince ourselves that we'll take the leap once we're more qualified, more confident, or more prepared.

But life doesn't have a backstage.

You're already in front of your audience.

Through stories, humour and practical examples, this episode explores why hesitation often costs us more than failure, why perfection keeps us invisible, and why the people who make the biggest impact are usually the ones who decided to step forward before they felt completely ready.

If you've ever caught yourself saying, "I'll do it when...", this conversation is for you.

Listen, Watch and follow LegacyLive!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@legacylivetv

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3oJoygdW1SeIl7AXkehbBf

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/legacy-live/id1887380705

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

It's Legacy Live. We're back with another episode today. This one's called In the Wings. I'm your host, Kyle Hosick.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

And I'm your host, Kim Fitzpatrick.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Let's get at it. Okay, in the wings. Wings. What do we mean by in the wings?

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Well, first I thought of my tattoo, which I have on my arm, which is wings. Just kidding. That's nothing to do with my tattoo and my wings. But the thing I like about this episode, and and I'm excited for how this lands for everybody that's listening, is in the wings can apply to, I mean, dancers would know what in the wings means, actresses could know it, stage performers could know what in the wings are, but do theater, but do we, as you know, everyday humans that are not in the world of theater, do they know what in the wings is? Yeah. Excited about this topic.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

I watch a lot of concert footage on YouTube in my downtime. And there's always like when it's a big band, there's always people like off to the side who've like got lucky enough, and you're like, how did they get there? And they're in the wings essentially, and it got me thinking about like waiting in the wings is a common term, which is like you're about to go on, and it's that moment of like excitement beforehand. And because we do a lot of work with business owners and entrepreneurs and just mindset in general, both on the podcast, in the league, in Lumina, I was thinking about the fact that in life there are actually are no wings, and a lot of people are like, you know, I'm just not ready yet. I'm just gonna wait it out here. I'm gonna watch what other people who are coming on stage are doing. I'm gonna perfect it while I'm standing here in the wings. And this episode is gonna break down the fact that little do you know it, you're already on stage. You're standing there and you're not performing yet because you think no one's watching. Does that resonate with you?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

It does. And you know, I I wonder for some of you that are listening, is like, how does that even land when you hear that? Right? It's it's that idea and that are you waiting. Yeah, are you waiting and are you thinking that you're not on the stage? Because I think that's part of what we need to unpack today is yeah, when you think you're waiting, what what if you came to the realization and using it as a metaphor is actually, no, you you are on your own stage, you're not in the wings, and there are people already in your audience ready for what you have. And would it change your perspective to show up differently if you thought about that? So it's it's neat to be considering that and really, I would say, ought to do a little self-audit right now. If you're driving, you're listening to this, you might be watching. What is that? Are you in the wing? Or actually, do you realize you're on your own center stage? And there's a lot of analogies on that of like people will be on their stage, but there's somebody else acting for them. And you know that whole like show hook, you know, when you like yanked off, you're getting yanked off. It's like, have you yanked yourself off the stage?

SPEAKER_02 3:11

I would rather get yanked off than to have never tried. I would weigh rather a sore neck at the end of the day to be like, at least I did try.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Um, part I mentioned watching concerts all the time. Some of my favorites are watching bands that have been around for a long time. When you get to see the first show ever, and then because this is all history, you get to see the shows today and go, they stepped out of the wings at a time where they probably weren't ready. And because they've got to where they are today, now I love watching the the progression. Yeah. But would they probably take away that show from YouTube if someone didn't post it because it's way too early in the lifespan of that band? They likely would delete it, but it's my favorite stuff to watch because you get to see how their decisions evolved over time and the courage it took to just be like, There are no wings, we're on. Wow. We have decided, we always say the word decided on this podcast. We decided to step out of the wings, get on the stage. It's not as polished as it's gonna be in five years, it's not as good as it's gonna be in two, and we will likely be embarrassed about this in the future, but everyone will be watching it instead of not knowing who we are.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

And I think with that, those are the reps, you know. And we talk a lot about, you know, and it's so funny. I never ever put these two together, but reps and reputation.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Oh look at that. I never put that together, but reps is actually reputation. So the reps you put in is what you build your reputation from. A hundred percent. And that there's power in that. I'm just getting the reps in. So is this moving towards the reputation you want to create? And if you're on that stage or you're waiting in the wings, well, we just decided today that we don't wait in the wings, we're not waiting in the wings. There are no wings. There are no wings. I like that because it's easy, right? That's that pause of, or I'll wait till I'm ready, or I'll just wait till I'm more qualified, or I'll wait till I have, you know, when there's a thing where you can be studying and in process of building at the same time. You don't need to be waiting until this is done to do this. And I remember, and I we've talked about this on past episodes, um, on some of our past episodes, where it's even like the mindset of being not being on vacation, like you're on vacation, but you're waiting for that next vacation, or oh well, once I've done this, once this week's over, it will settle down. Like it's just thinking about the auditory loop. And I know I can fall into that. And and I like catching myself in that, being like, oh shit, I just said that again. Where it's like, oh, is that a default? And then you're like defaulting. And I I think about this, and this is kind of a cool metaphor because could we look at the default being like you're back in the wing? You're on the stage. So are you defaulting to be like, oh, when this is ready? And it's a kind of a cool analogy of like, what if you just take away the wings? You don't, it's like you're taking away those what are those things in the gutters in the bowling alleys. Yes, gutters. Those are buffers.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Oh, you mean uh the gut they they put up the things to walk the gutters, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah, so you're constantly like this, and you're bouncing off of those things that create this soft landing that isn't life.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

True. Uh I'm gonna go back to bands. Like the first time I got asked to play guitar in a band was but I was in grade the end of grade nine, and it was a bunch of grade 12s who said we come and play in our band, and I was thrilled. And we played a talent show at Hopedale Mall in Oakville, and I sucked. I got there and I thought the job was to turn my amp up as loud as I could. I was I stunk still, I didn't have enough practice, but I it was an opportunity. I'm glad there's no video of it. But it the next time I was better, a lot better, because I had some feedback from my parents, my sister, all the other band members who were like, you gotta turn it down the next time. This is a band, we all work together, but I never would have got any of that feedback if I was a little scared to not take the stage. And the it was scary enough because they were all so much older than I was. I should have been like, no way, I'm not doing this. I don't even know you guys, and you're in grade 12. Like, this is still uh we got another high school episode coming up soon, if I have my way with our topic. Um but that that's real world, and that's what I was picturing when I when it's you think of in the wings. I could have just been in the audience at Hopedale Mall, you know, th and I think actually what convinced me to play guitar in the first place was watching someone who I was like, holy smokes, this is cool. Like he has everyone in the palm of his hand, and I think that was the first day of grade nine, which is called like the Wildcat Welcome, and everyone's outside, and there was a guy who was really good playing guitar, and I was like, I want to do that, that's so cool, and I knew the only way was to do what he was doing, which was playing in front of people, and so practice a bit. I I got to where I could play some songs, but I stung. And the courage to stink and do it is far more important than the courage to not do it, if that's a thing, where you think you're waiting and preparing the perfect amount. I I could have reached grade 12 before I ever did it and never had grade 10 and 11 as a performer.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

You know, it's interesting. I was just reflecting back this past week. I was with a group, amazing group of women, and one was like, I really want to be a singer.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

And we were like And that came out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

No, she just has been on her heart. She wants to do it, she wants to do an opening act for a really famous, famous group.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

And I'm but she's not there as a singer.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

She but she had 20 women, and I I was like, sing.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Oh, no worries. In my head, in my head.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Oh, I wasn't making her sing, but in my head, I was like, you could sing right now.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Don't just say you want to.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah, but she said, I've never sung in front of people. But yet your goal is this. And we no one pushed or pressured, but I was like, what a safe space. But it was just in the wing, like it was interesting. It was like, hmm, that could have been something like I'm super nervous. Could have been some really cool opportunity to have someone actually share if they loved what she was doing. And and but again, it's like there's a there's a situation where you can kind of audit. And again, there's no judgment. We're we work with businesses all the time. So we're kind of always within that lens of like, oh, that's interesting. I would have asked her some different questions. What's getting in the way of not singing in front of this thing? It's you know, sometimes, and I think Tess would be okay with me sharing this. She she we went to the Grand Old Opry and she was like, Oh, that's cool, Mama. I want I want to be in that circle, right? She wouldn't have known what the circle was. That's right. For those of you that have gone to the Grand Old Opera, you know. Have you been there?

SPEAKER_02 10:21

I have not.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Oh my, you we gotta go to you need to go to the Grand Opera. It's the coolest thing ever. T if we're going to Nashville. Um, but it's the greatest thing. And so we're in the very long backstages of the Grand Old Opera. Tess is like, I want to do that, but she won't sing in front of people. So my grandma, this is just a little antidote to Noni, has asked Tessie, will you sing Hallelujah at my funeral?

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Oh, but she's that's pressure. Is she practicing? Yeah, Tessa's been practicing.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Wow, good, because she so she's practicing hallelujah. And I'm like, this is cool, but it's like there's still that narrative. I don't sing in front of people, but I want to go be in the circle in the ground note operating.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

So it's like, or this person know the importance of doing a performance in front of other people before that big day because that's and this is what we've said.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

This is the no wing.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

She's maybe in the wings, even if you're practicing, there's you better get on stage before that major moment.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

And I want to talk about that's what I that's why I was like, oh, I think I have an example that we could bring up because these are like so. Just to use those examples, it's like, are you in the wings in the the idea you have, or you want to take something to market? You know, one of the things we talk about on the league, and I, you know, and one you've done within revenue is like your focus group. Like, yes, did you do it? Have you tested it? Have you right?

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Like it's I could have waited a long time to do that. Back to the singer at the event you were at. Like, she's got a thing going, so she's on stage in another way, in another arena of the city.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

So this is a whole other change. This is a pivot for her. Yeah. And it's like, what could be?

SPEAKER_02 11:55

I think in that case, it's okay to leave an idea in the wings if you're just kind of figuring out what your whole but she wants to rebrand her whole thing on. Which is awesome. But she will shift that. I think more for for this topic for me is like if you're not on the stage at all in any facet, don't wait in the wings anymore. You've only got so much time. So, like, just step out. You're not gonna embarrass yourself. And if you do, who gives a shit?

SPEAKER_01 12:25

I think that's why people wait, right? It's like that fear of judgment, fear of failure. What if you don't think I'm good enough?

SPEAKER_02 12:31

What if this idea is 100% fear?

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Who who's gonna take this thought I have? Is this gonna be a solution? You know, I think that's why. What else do you think people wait?

SPEAKER_02 12:41

I think I think coming out, I'm gonna use my Hopedale Mall thing here. Hopedale Mall is like the rundown mall in Oakville. Sorry for to take shots at Hopedale Mall. It's getting better, but at the time, like it was not glamorous, right? Like, but I think a lot of my friends were like, Holy smokes, he's playing Hopedale Mall on Friday night. And I could have looked at it like I'm playing a mall. It's all on your perspective, right? Like, I would never drive to a mall today and be like, tote my amp in there. But at the time, I could have stood behind the fact that it we were not playing Skydome or the Air Canada Center or the Mod Club, and I could have been like, that's not good enough for me yet. I'm gonna wait. And I would have waited and never played one of those places because I didn't play Hope Delm All. I didn't get to hear it and go, this isn't the best this could be. And I stepped out of the wings and that made everything else possible. And I I used a couple times, maybe even on this podcast, the founder of LinkedIn. I love this quote from him if you're not embarrassed by your first product, you waited too long. And if that just gives me goosebumps because I we talked like going to the dump and taking a product there, and why was I taking a product there? Because it's embarrassing for today, me, but it was my hope and my beacon for that day me. And it's okay to move through from one to the next. Yeah, but I never would have had those ones that go to the dump if I was just waiting for it to be perfect.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

And I think that's the thing. It's like there perfection is such an illusion, and that's that's also hard on people, like to have to be like put that much pressure on yourself for it to be perfect. What if it's enough right now? And you'll learn as you go. I mean, we've all had different iterations and different businesses. And, you know, I on one of our last podcasts, we talked about in one of our last episodes, we said like you can't miss being a beginner, you can't miss the messy things, but you're not starting anything without tons of experience. And and isn't that enough of a stepping stone, you know? I really like your example of going there and getting feedback. I think a lot of times people are nervous about what are you gonna, what is this good or is this bad? Constructive feedback is the only way you're going to, you're only gonna yeah, and it's like, you know, whether or not it's something that you've received from a comment, from this. Oh, hey, I would have loved that. We strive for feedback. I mean, that's what we did for our whole first cohort of totally, you know, our Lumina. We we in it informed so much of our change. So it's like, but if we had waited, okay, let's just We'd be sitting here this summer. We would still be here. And what was last year?

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Yeah, yeah, less than a year ago. Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah, but we decided, okay, we're gonna put ourselves on this stage, we're gonna put ourselves to be competitors in this marketplace, which was we're babies in that. That's scary. Who, you know, that's easy to be like, who are we? But we are people with tons of experience that know we can make a difference, but that needs to win more than the wings.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

You mentioned like the illusion of perfection moments ago, and I you it's easy to look at people who've been in the game, I'll call it, which is the business you're in or the arena you want to be playing in, and go, they have it's perfect for them because they've been doing it for so long. I just posted in my story last night, my hero Angus ACDC, they never do interviews. USA Today did an interview and said, like, what's the thing that kind of concerns you most, having been in this business for 50 years? And Angus was like tripping and falling over because he's running all over the place. And I was like, that's so he's not trying to be like the money or the fit the contract. He's like, I don't want to fall over. He's like, I'm old, I'm gonna break something, I'm focused on not falling over. Wow, and like that at Hopedale Mall, I did not want to fall over, and nothing changed for him in 50 years. Where it's like that could be embarrassing if I fall off the stage.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Do you remember when you said to me after we ran our first immersion, you're like, you know, that could have gone that way, but it went this way? And I was like, what? In my head, I was like, it's not possible. I just I thought it was gonna be amazing. Because I didn't whether it maybe that's good. Maybe that's a little bit of a tiny bit of delusion, maybe that's excitement, maybe that's just faith in it. I don't know what that is, but like I didn't think about don't fall over. I thought about this is gonna be the best experience, we're gonna have so much fun. So it's like there's so many different ways that for him, he's like, I'm not gonna fall, this is gonna be incredible. I'm just gonna focus on it.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

He knows he has the music memorized and all his parts, yeah. But he's like being realistic about like just don't fall over. And that that like you're gonna say that 50 years from now, it's gonna be the same worry you have today. So just do it and don't fall over.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

That's really good. You know what else I really like too? We were chatting about this earlier is the illusion of hiding. That there's no place to hide. Yeah, I like just remembering that when people are listening to this, it's like you think you're hidden, but everyone can see you.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

And every everyone could be your family, it could be your close friends, like they all know what you're up to, and yeah, you're not hidden, you're standing in the middle of the stage. That was part of this sort of topic genesis for me. Was like, imagine you knew you were in the middle of the stage, just standing there and everyone was looking at you. You'd start performing right away, whatever it was you wanted to do. I don't care if it's juggling, you would be like, Oh shit, everyone's looking at me. And you'd go, and even if you dropped all the balls, it's more exciting to look at you drop all the balls than it is where people are like, Why the fuck are they just standing there?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

I love that. It's true. That is so important what you just said. It is more exciting to watch you drop, and it's true. Actually, some people will thrive on you dropping all the balls and like, look at that idiot.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Yeah, but who cares?

SPEAKER_01 19:00

But also that could be your on the stage doing it.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

You could be like, Did you hear how many laughs that got? I think I'm gonna be the juggler who purposely drops all the balls, and that could be your career. You could make a career out of that.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Um, lastly, we put together from our show notes I'm wearing a Gord Downey t-shirt here, and this is all by a fluke. Um there's a line in a head by a century, no dress rehearsal, this is our life. That both Kim and I were like, That's bananas that you're wearing the gourd shirt when we're recording this episode. Like, I want you to remember those lyrics. Like you think you're in the rehearsal because you're waiting, you're on, you're out like right now. Let's go pick up the balls that you worried about dropping and start launching them into the air. And I don't know. I hope that's advice that lands.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

I love that. And it for me, the thing that landed the most, it's funny because I do, right? I've got this tattoo of the wings. So the wings, the wings can mean something to either one of us. Like if you're waiting in the wings, you know, to me, I'm always like, oh no, I have got some wings right on my back that are actually pushing me forward to go do those things. So it's like use the analogy and the metaphor of what you need, you know. Like, what do you need right now to observe and audit your life of where you are? Are you on the setter stage? Are you in the wings?

SPEAKER_02 20:28

What is I actually never thought about why they call those the wings, but it makes perfect sense now because if you like picture a theater, it's like the sides, right? Yes, the wings. But like, so take take that apart now, and like the middle, even if it's wings of a bird, the wings do nothing if you don't have that center. You can't exactly the brain, the body, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:49

I love that. You can't you can't do anything without the center of the wing. The butterfly can't fly nothing. This so it's like you are the center of the wings. So, oh, I love that analogy. Look at that quick metaphor.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

Look at that happening. I love it when we leave the notes. I know you love that too, right, Kim?

SPEAKER_01 21:05

I love it too. I love that looking at my notes.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Where are the papers? Oh, they're on that side, they're on Kim's lap.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Yeah, no, this is good. So we would love your feedback, and this is another thing that has been so cool is hearing some of the feedbacks we're getting starting to be tagged. Like, yeah, thank you for that. I'm gonna do a shout out to Bev, who yet we get video.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Yeah, but there was Tiffany who posted in her story, and Lindsay posted in her story about our dump episode. And you just never know which episode's gonna land either.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Kim was mentioning something, and I really liked Bev. I just want to give you a shout-out. She has sent me a text, like, this is my favorite one. And she was at the dump and said, you know, we're catching what you're throwing down. So that was really cool. So thank you for your feedback. Thank you for following us. Thank you for watching along. Where this is.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

And if you like what you hear, like subscribe. And you know, we this is one thing I did not want to do every episode is like hit the like button and hit subscribe. But we'd like to do it. But honestly, do that, please and share it. And if you're listening on Apple, drop in there five stars, leave a review. It helps us, and we gotta keep going at this because we're still getting our reps in with this, and wait till episode a hundred. Like you think episode one came because we were willing to get on stage.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

That's it.